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"A Silly Crossover and Little More"
A pointless fic by Tora-uma
A Quick Author Note: ". . ." - speaking
^. . .^ - inner thoughts
//. . .// - telepathy
Alright, first the thanks: dunken2, samuraiduck27 and UnicornGirl-DragonLady, thank you for the reviews of the last chapter. Next, the Q&A: Yes, Tasuki is the redhead with the fan in Fushigi Yuugi and no, I haven't even come close to introducing all the characters yet. Now, the explanation that I forgot to put in both of the other chapters: the part of the story that is in first person is not from my point of view, it's from my roommate's. This story is a dream of hers that was based on a theory of mine so she's Megan, I'm Lindsey (the crazy one with the handcuffs). Finally: I hope everyone has been enjoying this, I can tell you that it's been interesting to write and I'm curious myself as to how it will all end. Of course, that won't be for awhile, so I hope you've strapped yourselves in for the long haul.
Chapter Three : In Which Several Different Characters are Beaten
"Wh…Wait!" I gasped out desperately. The orange streak that was Schuldig continued on, however. I'd been chasing after him for the good part of a half an hour with absolutely no success. "Damn you for being pretty and German!" I shouted. At that precise moment, a black streak darted in front of me, succeeding in gaining my attention. Wondering who that could be, I began chasing after it rather than Schuldig. After a few minutes, I managed to corner it.
"Hiei!" I giggled when the blurring stopped and the figure became clear. With all my attention focused on the fire demon before me, I prepared to pounce. "Geep!" The orange streak darted in front of me and distracted me long enough for Hiei to escape. "Damn!" I growled, refocusing my attention to the orange streak and chasing it. After another short jaunt I managed to pin Schuldig in a corner as well. Unfortunately, the black streak that I now knew was Hiei distracted me and my prey escaped again. It was about this time that I realized they were probably working together to bait and hook me. I also realized that I didn't care. So I continued to chase after both of them, leaving one for the other every time someone darted across my path. After a few laps around the rather large cave I became distracted by something else.
"Ooh, a Sesshoumaru!" I giggled as I caught sight of the youkai lord sitting comfortably with a book. Surprisingly, he didn't kill me when I latched on to his back and started playing with his hair. He just shifted slightly and continued reading. Encouraged by my continued ability to breath, I tugged and twisted at the long, silver hair in my hands. Still, he let me live. I decided I'd try talking to him. After all, no one else would listen and Sesshoumaru was much prettier than the wall.
"How come everybody's been running away from me? They probably think that it's funny, don't t
"I do not have your answers. Perhaps you should speak to your friend about them."
"Huh? Lindsey? Why?"
"She has more control over this particular situation than one would assume." His answer was more enigmatic than I would have liked as I still had no idea what he meant. Unfortunately, I didn't get a chance for more clarification as Sesshoumaru stood up and walked away.
"Damn," I mumbled as he quickly disappeared.
"Did you decide that chasing us wasn't worth the effort?" Schuldig asked quietly behind me. I jumped and spun myself around, still sitting. I hadn't realized that he'd snuck up on me.
"Don't do that!" I cried and tried smacking him in the leg. He evaded it with little more than a step backwards and grinned. "I don't like people being behind me," I mumbled, still slightly irritated that he'd managed to slink up on me so easily.
"So what's wrong? Too tired?"
"No," I glowered at him. "But you guys are working together so what's the point?"
"You mean you're not chasing us for your health?" Schuldig looked positively shocked. I just rolled my eyes at him. "Oh fine, I can amuse myself for a little while. But when I get bored again I expect to see you flailing behind me." He winked and turned to go. I made a point of closing my eyes as he walked away, certain that if I saw his ass I'd be persuaded to chase him again. As I heard his footsteps fade away I felt it would be safe to open my eyes once more. I scooted against the wall, contemplating what to do. I hadn't seen Lindsey in awhile but I hadn't really been actively looking for her either as I'd been preoccupied with running and not tripping. But, I decided, it was worth looking for her. Not only would she entertain me for awhile but Sesshoumaru had also suggested that I talk to her and I wasn't about to ignore advice from him.
As I stood and looked around, I realized I had no idea where I was. My merry chase had led me down several corridors and smaller rooms and I wasn't exactly sure where the main chamber was anymore. There were exits at two ends of my current room, one that Sesshoumaru had gone through and the one that Schuldig had. Deciding that Sesshoumaru was a safer bet than the German (he probably wouldn't run away and try to get me to chase him at the very least), I headed to my left and through the exit the youkai lord had left through earlier.
After a short jaunt down a narrow passage I ended up in a room almost identical to the one I had just left. The exception was that this room had three doors; the one I'd come through plus one directly across from me and another to my right. "Uh-oh," I sang under my breath, realizing that I could get very lost in this rock maze very quickly. Unable to determine in what direction the main room could possibly lie, I resorted to the all-powerful, universal art of choosing. Eenie meenie minee moe. After a moment of finger wagging and mumbling under my breath I headed off to my right.
This particular passage was longer than the last one and ended in a larger, dimly lit room. So far I hadn't been able to figure out what was lighting each of these rooms in the first place but, whatever it was, this chamber was running low on it. I also noticed that there was a great deal more moisture in the air and the entire place was significantly warmer than anywhere else I'd been. The major problem, as I saw it, was that most of the room was covered in shadows and I couldn't see another way out. I didn't want to go wandering around in the dark because I knew I would trip and break something. So I stood there, wondering what to do.
"What on earth are you doing down there?" I heard a familiar voice coming towards me through the dark. Kouga slipped through the shadows, materializing in front of me with his eyebrows raised in question.
"Oh, good, a person!" I grinned. "Schuldig and Hiei led me down all these little corridors and got me confused and then everyone disappeared and I thought I'd try to find my way back and began wandering around and . . . yeah . . . I got lost," I finished sheepishly. Kouga shook his head in minor disbelief.
"Alright, follow me and I'll show you the way back," he told me as he turned and headed into the darkness once more.
"Wait!" I cried and reached out, grabbing on to his tail before he could get too far away and I lost him to be left alone again. And so I held loosely to the furry appendage as he guided me through the room, apparently able to see something that I could not. Just as my eyes began to adjust to the dim lighting, we were winding our way through a long hallway and eventually ended up in a much brighter chamber. The coolness of the new area clung to me after the warmth of the previous room.
"So where exactly was I?" I asked, curious at the differences between it and everywhere else I had been so far.
"Hot springs," he told me as I finally noticed how damp his hair was. "It's pretty buried in the cave system, that's why I was surprised to find you there. Who'd you say led you down there?" he asked.
"Uh . . . Hiei and Schuldig. Though it was less of a leading and more of a me chasing after them situation." I ducked my head and began pulling on his tail in embarrassment.
"Hey, come on, I need that!" he pulled his tail out of my hands and scowled.
"I'm sorry!" I hadn't even realized what I was doing. Kouga waved his hand over his shoulder at me.
"Don't worry about it, just keep up." He kept walking briskly and, without the anchor of the tail, I had to make a conscious effort to keep up.
"So why is it so dark where the springs are?" I was interested seeing as every other room the wolf demon had led me through was rather well-lit.
"Privacy," he explained. "You have to go through that room to get to some of the other areas here and it's less disruptive for everyone that way."
"Oh that makes sense." I nodded eagerly, despite the fact that the wolf lord couldn't see me. I had quickened my pace and was now walking even with Kouga. Just as I was about to ask another question, I heard shouting.
"You let go, it's mine!"
"It is not!"
"What the hell's going on?!" Kouga bellowed over the noise as I finally caught sight of what was happening. Shippou and Yahiko seemed to be fighting over a few remaining cookies in a package. Though Yahiko was about twice his size Shippou was putting up a decent fight and both were bleeding slightly. At the sound of Kouga's voice they stopped and turned towards him, neither relinquishing his hold on the package.
"He's trying to steal my cookies!" Yahiko cried, ready to defend his position.
"Am not, they're mine!" Shippou shot back, emphasizing his statement with a tug on the package. This began another short round of tugging before Kouga snatched the prize away from both of them. He upturned the package, pouring every last crumb in his mouth before glaring at the two boys.
"Now they're mine," he said after swallowing quickly. "Now, I don't want to hear another word from you two about sugar, got it?" he growled. Both kids looked crestfallen about the vanishing cookies but nodded quickly before running off. They pushed each other before disappearing into the crowd of the main chamber. "Those two would fight over who had to clean the bathroom, I swear," Kouga mumbled before turning back to me. "Alright, here you go. Now try not to wander off again, I'm not going to come save you again," he grinned and winked, heading off on his own.
I looked around for a moment, looking for something to do. I slowly walked away from the doorway and in to the vast room, staying close to the wall. I heard a shout and paused mid-step, turning towards the noise as a thin knife implanted itself in the wall above my head.
"Holy crap!" I launched myself backwards and landed on my ass as Sanosuke came running up.
"Hey, you okay?" he bent down and helped me to my feet, ushering me back towards the doorway as another knife was lodged into the wall. "I shouted at you to duck, I wasn't sure if you'd be able to get out of the way though. Sorry, everybody knows to time it right when they walk through here but you're new so . . ." he grinned slightly. "Hope it didn't scare you too badly."
I smiled weakly. "Yeah, I'm okay, thanks. But what exactly is going on?" I stood on my tiptoes to see the direction the knives had been coming from.
"Hmm? Oh, that's Farfarello's knife-throwing wall." As he finished the sentence I caught sight of the knife wielding Irishman and squealed. And ran. And tackled him. I felt bad leaving Sanosuke so suddenly but it was Farfie and dammit, if he wasn't worth it nobody was. I had managed to tackle him fully and effectively and so I was quite surprised when he stood up with me handing around his neck and continued his target practice.
"How come you tried to kill me?" I asked though the pout in my voice was muffled somewhat since I had my head buried in his chest.
"I didn't. I aimed above your head." Apparently the fact that I was speaking into his pectorals didn't hinder his understanding. I sighed and let my arms slip away from his neck, landing softly on the ground. As I seated myself on the floor he situated himself next to me, changing positions to get a different angle on his knife-throwing wall. This allowed me better access to his multiple piercings and scars, a fact I was incredibly grateful for.
I began tugging on the earrings in his left ear, quite impressed with his ability to ignore me and continue working with the blades. After awhile he apparently lost interest and instead began to cut his own skin in intricate patterns with a kind of casual disinterest. I watched, fascinated, as the blood seeped over the ridges of flesh and dripped lazily down the pale arm. The stark contrast of the bright vivid red on the almost glowing white was classically beautiful. I reached out cautiously at the biggest stream of blood but Farfarello grabbed my hand.
"Don't," he told me, "you'll get it infected." He pulled a small roll of gauze from a pocket and wrapped up the cuts on his arm. I pouted as the blood disappeared but went back to pulling on his piercings and poking at his scars. After awhile he stood up and began to walk away, leaving me on the ground. I quickly got up and jumped on his back before he managed to get too far away and was surprised at how easily he adjusted his balance to compensate for me and kept walking.
"Are you planning on following me into the bathroom?" he asked quietly.
"Oh. I guess not," I sighed and slipped down off his back and watched him disappear behind yet another door. I stood there alone for a moment, wondering if I should wait when Schuldig mad good on his earlier promise and walked past me, insuring I got a good, long look at his ass before blurring into the orange streak again and running off.
"God dammit," I muttered before chasing after him again.
~ * ~
Kouga crouched in the darkened doorway, watching closely. He didn't sense any danger and decided that was good enough. He stalked forward quickly but silently, making sure his presence went undetected. Without warning, he attacked.
"WHAT THE HELL?!" Lindsey screeched as Kouga landed fully on her sleeping form. She managed to kick him in the stomach and threw him off her. The resulting wrestling match knocked Aya out of the bed. This did not prove to be the wisest move as Aya picked himself up and, irritated at the sudden awakening, launched himself at Kouga. He knocked the wolf demon off the bed and on to the floor, slamming his head into the ground.
"For the love of . . ." Lindsey mumbled and ignored both of them, pulling the covers over her head in a vain attempt to muffle the noise. Kouga rolled to his back and threw Aya over his head and into the rock wall. The swordsman recovered rather quickly and tackled Kouga again, this time pushing the demon back onto the bed and onto Lindsey.
"God dammit you two, I wanted to sleep!" she whined as she wriggled her way out from under the two fighting men. "You both suck noodles, do you know that?" Mumbling under her breath she threw the blankets over both of them, temporarily trapping them together. By the time they realized what had happened they had managed to tie themselves up in a knot of sheets and comforters and Lindsey hand wandered out of the room, leaving them to their own devices.
"You're up! Help me, I can't find the doughnuts!" Vash cried and wrapped his arms around her legs. Unfortunately, this took away what little balance she had and she fell over backwards. "Oops, sorry."
"The doughnuts are in the box on the counter like they always are. And if there's none in there, someone got to them before you did." She shook him off and stood up, leaving Vash on the floor. They heard a low chuckle and turned toward it, watching as Legato popped the last few bites of a doughnut in his mouth.
"Last one, Vash the Stampede," he told them, smiling slightly at the heart-broken look on the blond man's face before wandering off, his malicious deed for the day done.
"Don't worry about it Vash, we'll get more tomorrow," Lindsey told him as he stood up, still looking as though he was about to cry.
"But I want them now," he pouted.
"Well, either learn how to make them yourself or get over it."
He shrugged as she patted his shoulder. "Okay. Hey, I know, maybe Mokuba will want to wrestle with me!" He grinned and ran off.
"What a child," she smiled slightly. Lindsey headed out into the room but, after a few steps, hurled herself backwards as a black blob threatened to run her over.
"Hi Lynz!" Megan called as she hurried forward, determined to catch the black streak that had continued on. But Lindsey was also determined and stuck her foot out, effectively tripping her friend in order to get some answers. With a short cry, Megan fell forward and landed on her face.
"Was that really necessary?!" she yelled, her face still pressed against the ground.
"Yes. Yes it was." Lindsey sat down cross-legged and waited for Megan to sit up and face her.
"Okay, fine, what do you want?"
"Who were you chasing and why? And is there a particular reason you tried to run me over?"
"Hey, you got in the way, don't even try to blame that on me!" Megan shifted around, trying to make her seat on the floor more comfortable. "And, not that it's any of your business, but at that particular point in time I was chasing after Hiei."
"At that particular point in time? Who else have you been chasing?"
"Well, Schuldig, they've both been teasing me all morning."
"That . . . explains a lot, actually. At least they've been keeping you busy."
"Yeah, no shit."
"Guess that means you haven't caught either of them yet?"
Megan's shoulders slumped forward in a slight pout. "No."
"That's okay, I have an idea. They haven't been outside for awhile, the weather's been bad, so they're sure to flock towards any opening. What I propose is that you position yourself next to the main door so that, when I open it and both of them hurry to get outside, you will be able to jump and grab at least one of them. Sound good?"
"Yeah, but what makes you think they'll take the bait?"
"Trust me, they will."
//You're wicked. You could make me look like an alter boy.//
//Oh, shut up Schu.//
//You're setting her up just so you can see her dive into the ground and still not catch me and Hiei.//
//Yeah, that's pretty much it.//
//You sadistic little bitch. I knew there was a reason I liked you.//
//So you'll do it? Please, Schuldig?//
//Of course we will, right Hiei?//
"Okay, so, you wanna try?" Lindsey asked.
"Yeah, I guess it's worth a shot." Megan shrugged and stood up.
"What are we trying?" Kouga stumbled out of the bedroom, still trying to untangle one arm from the blanket. He shook his arm furiously but the blanket clung to his wrist. With a quick, sharp pull from behind, Aya tore it off the wolf lord and flung it to the ground, apparently tired of watching the demon fight with it.
"What the hell happened to you two?" Megan took in the many bleeding wounds and bruises that were already beginning to form on the two men. Now blissfully free of the impeding cover, Kouga bent down and picked Lindsey up, throwing her over his right shoulder.
"Somebody decided to detain us temporarily," Aya growled as Lindsey half-heartedly kneed the wolf holding her in the chest.
"Why is he picking her up?" Megan whispered to the redhead.
"I don't know, he just decides to be possessive sometimes," Aya shook his head and brushed his hair away from his face.
"Oof," Kouga rubbed his chest where Lindsey's knee had connected and pinched her hard on the leg.
"Hey! That actually hurt!" She reached down and pulled his tail, causing him to yelp loudly. Before he had a chance to retaliate Aya hoisted her off Kouga's shoulder and let her stand on the ground. Kouga ignored her as she darted behind Aya, trying to avoid being pinched again.
"So what are we trying?" the wolf asked again.
"Oh, right, I forgot! Come on Megan!" Lindsey grabbed the other girl's hand and the two darted through the crowd of the main room towards the door.
"Well, I don't know about you, but I think I need to see this." Kouga took off, leaving a small whirlwind next to Aya. The swordsman sighed softly and briefly closed his eyes before following Kouga at a somewhat slower pace.
Kouga rounded the corner to see Lindsey kicking at the heavy metal door. "Why won't it open?!" she growled furiously.
"Because Megan's leaning on the latch," Kouga told her.
"Oh, crap, sorry."
"You stupid wench," Lindsey laughed and waved her off the metal latch, ignoring the tongue her friend was extending in her direction. "Okay, all set?" After waiting for a nod from Megan, she threw the door back, opening the cave to the afternoon sun.
"Okay, now, give it a minute for everyone to realize it's open . . ."
"Hey, outside!" Someone cried. Two dozen men soon came stampeding through the door and, trailing close behind, came faint orange and black streaks.
"Ready?" Lindsey asked. Megan nodded and crouched down in the typical pouncing pose, waiting for a cue. As the streaks passed by there came a quick wave and Megan leaped into the doorway. For a moment, it looked as though she might actually tackle one of the men but the moment was fleeting and soon escaped entirely as both streaks sped up and darted out of the way entirely, leaving the girl with nothing but thin air to grab hold of. She landed and, for a minute, all sound ceased. Then the laughter started. It echoed loudly through the entrance, rolling over the spread eagle form of the girl in the doorway and heating her face to unimaginable temperatures. It soon became apparent, however, that only a few people were making the intense noise. Schuldig snickered loudly just outside the doorway and Hiei stood next to him, smirking. Kouga outright laughed and Aya rolled his eyes as he came upon the scene. Lindsey, on the other hand, was flat on her ass, holding her sides and crying from laughter.
"You god damned bitch, you set this up, didn't you?" Megan lifted her head and glared at her friend. The other girl was laughing too hard to respond. "You knew I wouldn't catch them but you let me try anyway, huh?" This time a slight nod answered. Lindsey's voice cracked and her laughter became silent but her body still convulsed with the humor she found in the situation. "I'm going to kill you now," Megan declared before picking herself up and launching herself at her friend. Still not together enough to defend herself, Lindsey let Megan beat her, still laughing silently. After punching a few vital organs, kicking bonier places hard enough to bruise well and tearing open a few minor holes in soft flesh, Megan got bored and left to go outside. This left a bloody, battered Lindsey on the floor with four men gathered around, staring in awe. Mostly because she was still laughing.
"Uh, are you alright?" Kouga kneeled down and felt her forehead with the back of his hand. It was more an act of showing concern for her well-being rather than a determination of what the hell was wrong with her. The silent shaking laugher finally subsided into a soft fit of giggles as she looked up at the wolf demon.
"I'm fine, why do you ask?"
"Don't you hurt? You're pretty thoroughly beaten." Kouga raised an eyebrow in question.
"Oh yeah, it hurts, but damn it was worth it. Help?" She lifted her hands and Kouga hauled her to her feet.
"Your eyes don't look right, you sure you're okay?" Kouga asked, getting a good look at her. She touched the back of her head and pulled her blood-covered fingers away.
"Oh, I bet I just have a concussion. Nothing I haven't lived through before," she shrugged. "I just have to be careful not to hit it again until my brain stops swelling." "Well, are you finished torturing your friend for the day?" Schuldig asked.
"Yeah, I suppose for now. I should go wash up," Lindsey mumbled, dabbing blood away from her nose. "You guys go play outside, I'll be there in a little bit," she told them as she tottered unsteadily back toward the cave. The four conversed among themselves for a moment. After a brief discussion, Schuldig, Hiei and Kouga headed outside and Aya followed Lindsey, slipping one arm around her waist and gripping her shoulder with the second so she could keep her balance.
"What is it? I'm okay, go outside," she shooed him away with her hand but he stayed where he was.
"No. You have terrible balance when you're not injured, I don't want to think about what could happen when you have a concussion." He nudged her forward slightly, guiding her to the bathroom, if not in one piece than at least in as many pieces as Megan had left her in.