Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ "I Did NOT Just _Think_ That!!!" ❯ One-Shot

"I Did NOT Just _Think_ That!!!"

- or -

"Oh My GOD!!! BloodRaevynn Actually Wrote Comedy!"

`His emerald eyes flashing, long crimson tresses caressing bare flesh; sunlight sparkling off the slight sheen of sweat; lithe muscles rippling beneath pale skin as, with a deft flick of his wrist he exercises precise control over the organic whip in his hand.

`His body's movements are graceful...hypnotic..._sexy_...

`Kuso!!! [1] I did NOT just _think_ that!!!'

Yuusuke quickly tore his eyes away from Kurama and took several deep breaths in quick succession.

`Think hetro thoughts. Think hetro thoughts.'

Yuusuke began to feel lightheaded and realized that he was hyperventilating. He also realized that he was watching again.

`Chikusho!' [2] Yuusuke whirled around so that his back was to the practicing Youko-turned-Ningen and took a few carefully measured breaths. Then he noticed Hiei glaring at him with the strangest combination of what appeared to be possessive jealousy and amusement.

"Better wipe the drool off," Hiei growled at him.

"Kutabare!" [3] Yuusuke replied, stalking past Hiei and out of the practice ground.

`Damn Kurama anyway damn Hiei too while I'm at it why does Kurama hafta look like that it isn't right it isn't right I tell ya he should look more like Kuwabara then he wouldn't be so enticing BAD YUUSUKE DON'T THINK LIKE THAT he looks like a girl anyway yeah that's it my hormones just got confused is all because he looks like a fucking girl I'M NOT GAY!!!'

The familiar sight of Keiko walking home from school greeted his eyes as he turned a corner and he felt the welcome fluttering in his heart (and other areas) at the sight of her.

`Just what I need to reaffirm my manhood.'

Yuusuke quietly snuck up behind his unofficial girlfriend.

"Kya~~~~!" Keiko shrieked, as she felt someone pull up her skirt. She whirled around to face her molester. "Yuusuke!!! HENTAI!! SUKEBE!! [4]" ::WHAM!:: "BAKA!!!"

"...black lace..." Yuusuke muttered dreamily from the ground, as he waited for the bookbag-induced ringing in his head to stop. `Yup. Still straight.'

Meanwhile...

"You should really stop teasing Yuusuke like that," Hiei commented, tossing Kurama his shirt. "I'll have to put a leash on you."

"Oh?" Kurama replied with a laugh. "Is that a promise?"

"Kitsune no baka."

[1] Kuso - Shit

[2] Chikusho - Damn it

[3] Kutabare - Fuck you

[4] Sukebe - Lecher

A/N: Did you actually find this funny? Is the world about to end? Look outside and tell me if the sky is falling yet.