Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ 50 Things To Do Before We Perish ❯ 4. Trying To Find One Good Thing About Kuwabara ( Chapter 4 )

50 Things to Do Before We Perish

Chapter Four: Try and Find One Good Thing about Kuwabara

 

 

Sapphire: GOMEN! GOMEN! GOMEN! My computer (Ruby is a witness damnit!!) just, froze out of nowhere about two weeks ago while I was reviewing a friend of mine's story and it completely BLEEPed itself up and I lost E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G-. Including my start to this chapter; this is redone obviously. School's finally done thank hell, so I'll be able to try and get this story and my other story's updated faster. I don't know, something tells me I won't be able to finish this story for a while. I mean, it's been over a month I think and I only have 3 chapters….Actually, if you think about it, its good progress. So anyways, there isn't anybody else helping with this author's note because instead of being my normal stupid self, I must be serious for the moment. I don't own anything except Sapphire and the plot. Griffen-gal owns Ruby. On with the story before I think of something else to say. Oh, and this may be a short chapter considering how hard it is to do what they have to. And one more thing, about the reviews, well, my computer as you know, made me lose everything, so if your review was already responded to, sorry for the replay.

 

Review Responses:

Mediaminer.orgians

Deathlady: Ohhhh, okay. See, you have to tell the slow people this kind of stuff. ^_^ I tried!! AGH! NO! THE BRIGHT, EVIL, CAREBEARY COLORS!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!

 

Fanfiction.netiers

Elf.hanyou (3): ^_^ Okay.

 

Inuyahsa fangirl (2): Oh it's okay. I know, school's out FINALLY. It couldn't have come sooner, though. I mean really, why should we have to work on the last 3 days of school? It doesn't fly right!! Thanks and I know! Oh, `o-negai' is `please' as in a request. Oh, you already found out how they gout out. Yeah, I was pending that idea, however I got to add stupid humor in with the idea I used so it's all good. ^_^U

 

Inuyahsa fangirl (3): Hey K. Thanks for both reviews, and I'm very glad you enjoyed this chapter as well! Aww!!! Warm fuzzies all around -huggles K-chan and dances with fuzzies-

 

Griffen-gal (3): If I die because of angry reviewers, you are my witness that I couldn't update!! Anyways, yep, I updated. ^_^ Poor Kurama cookie. Now, if it was a DEVON cookie and you ate it, you'd A. die crying, and B. be happy. ^. ~ Not the world, the review box, lol. Yeah, all warm, and fuzziful. Oh I know. If only looks could kill -death glares Azurite- Damnit. I know, isn't that weird? I'm not usually the fangirl, but I gotsta show love for my Inu-chan. MAY THE SHWARTZ BE WITH YOU AS WELL, YOUNG ONE!

 

-

Well, now that Kuwabara was officially bagnitized, the group of currently 7 walked to Ruby's house. They'd been standing outside of her house for around 10 minutes, knocking on the door.

 

“Hey…nobody's answering…” Sapphire said.

 

“Maybe nobody's home?” Ruby suggested.

 

“Should we try and break in?” Inuyasha asked.

 

“ARE YOU ALL INSANE!?” Kurama asked.

 

“Are you ACTUALLY asking that?” Sapphire asked, quirking an eyebrow.

 

“Yeah really.” Ruby said, and waved him off.

 

“Yeah, let's break in.” Yusuke nodded.

 

“I think I'm claustrophobic….or seeing things. `Cause I'm seeing 4 corners and only brown.” Kuwabara whined.

 

“Would that be due to the fact that there are 7 bags over your head?” Inuyasha asked. Yes, folks, Kuwabara ALSO put a bag over his head, thinking it was some kind of game.

 

“Or that you made eye holes 3 inches above your eyes??” Yusuke asked.

 

“Oh, this is enough.” Kurama huffed, annoyed. He then did something so horrible, so cruel, and so…nasty, that I swear Ruby should have dumped him right THEN and THERE.

 

Announcer Guy's Reincarnation: AND THAT'S THE END!!!

Sapphire: NO!!! NO CLIFFHANGERS!!! -gets out trusty candle holder-

Announcer Guy's Reincarnation: Mommy!!!! -goes unconscious-

Sapphire: And now back to the originally scheduled presentation that was delayed for the last time to try and make you think it was a cliffhanger when it actually wasn't and if it is delayed yet again I'll throw my trusty candle holder out and get out my trusty LIT candle that is somehow in flames already and burning another lifeless corpse within a word out of my mouth. And now we continue.

 

“Oh, this is enough.” Kurama huffed, annoyed. He then did something so horrible, so cruel, and so…nasty, that I swear Ruby should have dumped him right THEN and THERE.

 

He took off the paper bags. All 7 of them. He could have left maybe at least ONE on. Hell.

 

“HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?” Sapphire, Ruby, and Inuyasha screamed.

 

“Dude…..there's a huge rat on your face…….” Yusuke said, pointing.

 

“Sure it's not just his hair?” Sapphire asked as Ruby picked up a stick and poked at Kuwabara's head.

 

“Nope, it's a rat.” Ruby declared and Sapphire pointed and fell on the floor, rolling down the huge flight of stairs laughing.

 

Everybody blinked a few times and looked down the steps to see her roll…..she wasn't there….What the hell?

 

“Hey, what're you all staring at?” Sapphire asked, looking over the tallest one, Inuyasha's, shoulder on tip-toe.

 

“Hey, where's Kuwabara?” Yusuke asked, looking around.

 

“MY SPLEEN! HELP! MY SPINE! MY RAT!!!!” Kuwabara screamed as he flew down the flight of steps, cracks being heard.

 

“Um, a rat isn't an organ….” Kurama pointed out.

 

“Well, neither is help. So, therefore, let's pretend we never heard the word, considering we won't do a damn thing anyway.” Sapphire said with a shrug.

 

Inuyasha and Yusuke then kicked open the door, it flying down on Ruby's rug. BIG mistake.

 

All was silent. Ohhhh, mysterious. And as it is all silent, it is no longer silent, because a hobo, whom nobody noticed, was being attacked by a really fat person over a crumb of Twinkie, which was in Kuwabara's rat's mouth.

 

The boys, Kurama included who was about to walk inside although somewhat confused and sighing on the fact they couldn't have just walked inside the door considering it WASN'T LOCKED, then all turned around to see the girls with those teary puppy dog eyes (Inu, no pun intended) and the pouty, quivering lips.

 

“Oh no, they aren't going to cry are they!?” Yusuke said, seemingly shocked.

 

“Oh no! WE'RE SORRY! WE'RE SORRY!!” Inuyasha and Kurama yelled, bowing down at the girls feets. Ha, Ruby, WE have pets.

 

“How…how….how…” Ruby stuttered.

 

“COULD…COULD YOU...YOU!?” Sapphire finished.

 

Her and Ruby then hugged each other and slid down on to the floor, their tears becoming waterfalls….oohhh, PRETTY water!

 

“We didn't mean to!” Inuyasha defended.

 

“What did the door to you!?” Sapphire yelled.

 

“It was such a good door!!!!!!!” Ruby screamed.

 

“Oh, you can get a new door.” Kurama said with a sweatdrop.

 

“I'LL NEVER GET A NEW DOOR!!!” Ruby bawled.

 

“IT'S NOT THE SAME!!!” Sapphire chimed in.

 

Sapphire and Ruby then exchanged teary glances. They stood up, picked up the door, and, both carrying it over their heads, and walked to the back of the house. Inuyasha and Kurama and Yusuke exchanged sweatdropped glances and followed them, meanwhile Kuwabara had joined in the fight for the Twinkie crumb and was losing terribly due to his broken bones.

 

The boys turned the corner to see a HUGE ceremony/funeral thingy. About 123,456 people were sitting in rows, mourning over something in a coffin. Ruby and Sapphire were in all black and crying over the coffin.

 

“What the hell?” Inuyasha said slowly.

 

“Dear ye beloved, we be gathered here today to witness the burial of Ruby's door. Please stand and bow your heads in respect as music plays and the coffin is buried in the ground.” An old woman in priestess clothing that looked oddly enough like Kaede read sadly, and quickly disappeared as Inuyasha gaped at her; knowing that indeed, that strange woman was Kaede.

 

Sapphire and Ruby then threw black roses over the coffin, catching Kurama's attention more slightly, and then they, using their elemental energy, lowered the coffin, which contained the door obviously, into the large hole shaped oddly like a peanut.

 

“Why don't you guys like, ya know, just fix the door?” Yusuke asked, shoving his hands in his pocket.

 

The coffin flung open and the door jumped out and started dancing. Everybody looked shocked and confused, but really it was Sapphire and Ruby making it dance with strings in their hands and they were above a stage looking down at all the other people and then they started making Inuyasha, Yusuke, and Kurama do little jigs. You wish.

 

The coffin jumped out of the grave by Sapphire and Ruby lifting it.

 

“Holy hell, Yusuke had a GOOD idea.” Ruby mocked.

 

“Unusual….” Sapphire said, making Inuyasha and Kurama start to crack up.

 

“TO THE CONVIENTLY AND MYSTICALLY PLACED WORK SHOP!” the girls shouted, and yelled, “Hup, hup, hup, hup!” as they ran the door into the workshop, locking the door and placing a sign outside that said `IDi0T5 aT W0rK' on the door.

 

“Uh, what just happened?” Kurama asked, everybody sweatdropping.

 

The other people went home to go fight over how the door died considering they didn't know, and because there was no longer a funeral taking place.

 

“I believe they are fixing the door…” Inuyasha trailed off.

 

Large bangs and crashes were heard from inside the workshop, as were drills and hammering. Smoke came out of the windows and there was a huge boom as the workshop basically fell apart.

 

Then Sapphire and Ruby came walking out of the workshop with the door wrapped up so nobody would see it. The girls had aprons on and smoke and ash covered their entire bodies.

 

“Done!” they yelled happily.

 

“May we see it?” Kurama said with a small smile.

 

“I dunno….you weren't very appreciative of the door BEFORE.” Sapphire said, holding the door closer to her body.

 

“And YOU guys certainly weren't.” Ruby said, pointing an accusing finger at Inuyasha and Yusuke.

 

“Please?” Kurama asked. The two girls rolled their eyes.

 

“Fine.” Yusuke sighed and kicked a rock.

 

Inuyasha and Kurama looked at each other, nodded, and then both kissed their girlfriends on the cheek. Hearts filled Sapphire's and Ruby's eyes and all around them.

 

Quickly they unwrapped the door…..or what was LEFT of a door….it now had a doorknob, and a top half. The bottom half was gone.

 

“THIS is what you call fixing it!?” Yusuke said laughing. He shrunk down as the girls grew all big and fire surrounded them.

 

“Heheheh! It's wonderful!!” Yusuke said, rubbing the back of his head, sweatdropping, and taking a step back.

 

“You know it.” Sapphire said with a wave of her hand.

 

Sapphire and Ruby then handed the door to Kurama, Yusuke, and Inuyasha, whom sighed. They then all retreated to the front of Ruby's house, and put the door on…it looked really bad.

 

“It looks great.” Inuyasha lied with a sweatdrop, and he and Kurama gave them the thumbs up sign.

 

“We know.” The girls said proudly. Quickly they magically pulled out bubble wrap and in a second and a blur of blue and red; the entire house was covered from top to bottom.

 

“And this would be for…...” Yusuke asked.

 

[Sapphire: you know what people? I completely forgot about Hiei. XP]

 

“Duh, if Kuwabara is coming in my house this is the only way.” Ruby said and she and Sapphire walked inside the house.

 

Hiei came up the steps wearing a glove on his right hand. He had something bloody and bruised dragging behind him; he was holding the thing with the gloved hand.

 

“Where the hell have you been? We haven't seen you for like, 6 pages.” Inuyasha said.

 

Hiei blinked and gestured towards the bloody pulpy bruisyd nasty thingy which he put down. He then burnt the glove so he was clean. The thing was in fact, Kuwabara…hey, it's an improvement!!

 

Inuyasha and Kurama made an `O' shape with their mouths then walked inside the house along with Hiei. Yusuke was left to drag Kuwabara in.

 

They all sat on the bubble wrapped couches, making a very loud popping noise.

 

Everybody turned to Sapphire.

 

She looked around. “What?!”

 

“Well, you're the only one who can heal blood, dark, and light wounds….”Inuyasha said.

(Dark and light meaning elements.)

 

“Point?” Sapphire asked unfazed.

 

“Well, Kuwabara needs to be healed.” Hiei added.

 

“I see this conversation leading nowhere.” Sapphire said, crossing her arms and sitting Indian style.

 

“Damnit, just heal him.” Inuyasha and Yusuke AND (surprisingly) Kurama growled.

 

“Kurama, I'm shocked.” Sapphire said with a smirk, beating around the bush. What the hell, I didn't order any bushes for my fic…LEAVE!!! -digs up bush and burns it-

 

Kurama's eye started twitching.

 

“Hey, think of it this way. If he's like THIS, and dies, we won't be able to bash him anymore…or hurt him….or poison him in any way….” Ruby said.

 

Sapphire sighed, but said “Fine.” She then put on a rubber suit and bent down near Kuwabara. She placed her hands over Kuwabara's chest…or what was left of it, and started chanting a Japanese spell; her eyes turned a glowing white and blue light emitted from her hands. In moments, Kuwabara looked like his normally freaky and ugly self and had no bruises and unfortunately, was conscious.

 

“Thank you, Sapphire.” Kurama said, nodding and giving her a small smile.

 

Sapphire rolled her eyes and hopped out of the suit.

 

“So………what next?” Inuyasha said, throwing out the rubber suit.

”The list.” Hiei said, as if it was obvious……..well….it was.

 

“Good idea!!” Ruby said happily, popping yet another bubble. She pulled it out from behind Yusuke's ear (random magic trick she learned) and started to read it.

”WOW!!!”

 

Everybody turned to stare with a quirked eyebrow at Kuwabara.

 

“What oh stupidity on the horizon?” Sapphire asked.

 

“Wow!!! You can SEE that far!?” Kuwabara said, excited.

Everybody sweatdropped, but Sapphire fell over anime style.

”Hn. Baka.” Hiei said and sighed. You know what? Hiei never WAS a man of too many words…..

 

“Kuwabara, what did you wow at first?” Kurama asked, getting very impatient.

”Uh………………R 30;………………..” Kuwabara trailed off with drool coming out of his mouth.

 

“EW! MY NICE CLEAN BUBBLEWRAP! THINK STUPID!” Ruby screamed and threw a newspaper at Kuwabara.

 

“Ow!! Oh! I remember! Ruby magically and spectacularly pulled the aper from behind Yusuke's ear!!” Kuwabara said proudly.

 

“Oh, you mean like this?” Inuyasha asked, pulling the same list from behind Ruby's ear.

 

“Yeah!”

”Or like this?” Sapphire asked, pulling it from Hiei's ear.

 

“Wow!!!”

 

“Or like this?” Hiei said, pulling it from behind Inuyasha's ear.

 

“…”

 

“Or this?” Kurama and Yusuke asked, both pulling the same list from behind Sapphire's ear.

 

“HOLY WOW! YOU'RE ALL MAGICAL!!!” Kuwabara shouted, overwhelmed.

 

“Well………elements……..” Sapphire said slowly, pointing with her right pointer finger to Ruby, and her left pointer finger at herself.

 

“I think it's just because Kuwabara's a moron.” Yusuke said, Inuyasha and Ruby nodding in agreement.

 

“Yeah, he's probably thinking about pink bunnies again…” Sapphire said with a shrug.

 

Kuwabara's eyes bulged out. “WOH! NOW SHE'S A MIND-READER!?” he shouted happily.

 

Sapphire's eye began to twitch.

 

“Okay, moving on and ignoring the bunny obsessed baka……………” Ruby said, taking the list away from Yusuke and Kurama.

 

“4. Try and find one good thing about………….oh god.” She said worried.

 

“Hm?” Sapphire said, looking over her shoulder.

 

“Oh this'll be impossible.” Sapphire said with a heavy groan.

 

“Years. Centuries. All to just figure this out…and by that time, we'll all be perished already and won't ever complete this list!!” Ruby shouted breathless.

 

“Who/what is it?” Kurama asked.

 

“That creature.” Sapphire and Ruby said together, pointing at Kuwabara.

 

“Oh geez.” Inuyasha groaned.

 

“Hn.” Hiei snorted.

 

“Oh come on, let's think.” Yusuke said with a nod. They all shrugged, agreed, and sat Indian style, thinking, while Kuwabara sat and played with his toes.

 

Alrighty then. Everybody go grab a soda, take a piss, come back, drink even more soda, and watch the cute yet evil pink ducky swimming in the pond. So cute!!

 

It had been about 10 hours since then; very, very, very, very, VERY late at night by this time.

 

“And it can't involve anything about him being fun to kill………..” Sapphire groaned.

 

“Or hurt…..” Ruby sighed.

 

“How about he's a good roller?” Kurama suggested.

 

“The hell?” Inuyasha asked with a weird look on his face.

 

“Well,” Kurama said, “it's technically us NOT hurting him in anyway if he falls down the entire flight of stairs on his own; Sapphire only gave him a mere push. He had perfect rolling posture.”

 

“Kurama, I love you.” Sapphire shouted, and ran and hugged Kurama; he blushed which was a no-no.

 

Inuyasha growled and pulled Sapphire away from Kurama and made her sit on his lap. Ruby growled and jumped into Kurama's lap.

 

“Geez, I was kidding.” Sapphire said seriously and wondered what the perverted minds of her elemental sister and boyfriend were contemplating.

 

Sapphire: END!!!