Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ A Mother's Love ❯ A Mother's Love ( Chapter 1 )
[ P - Pre-Teen ]
She was just sixteen
And all alone when I came to be
So we grew up together
My mama-child and me
Yusuke didn't think anyone could ever understand how much he loved his mother or how much his mother loved him. Other people could never seem to understand their relationship. To others Atsuko seemed to be an unfit mother and Yusuke was just a disrespectful punk. He doubted the fact that he even had a mother ran through anyone's mind. His mother was younger than most of the kids' his age and she acted like more of a child than he did. It was almost like he was raising her sometimes. And although her alcoholic habits were sickening she was still his mother. No matter how babbling, stumbling, falling down drunk she got, he still loved her more than anyone in the world. She had always been there for him and she seemed more of a friend to him than a mother most of the time. She was always joking with him, teasing, making faces at the principal's back while he spoke to her of his misbehavior. His mother had been everything to him. He had never known his father. They had never once been visited by any of Atsuko's relatives. She use to say she was the black sheep of their family. No one but Keiko had ever dared to make friends with him. So his mother was the only friend he had for a long time.
Now things were bad and she was scared
But whenever I would cry
She'd calm my fears and drown my tears
With a rock and roll lullaby
He wasn't surprised to find his mind drifting to the past once again. It had been nearly nowhere else for the past three days. He recalled a time when they had lived in a run down apartment that barely seemed livable. Some of the windows wouldn't shut all the way and there were panes missing from a few so that the winter chill would find its way into his room. Atsuko would hold him all night in her arms, wrapped in the only blanket they possessed. And she would sing to him. He was so young then that he could barely remember it. But somehow he could still feel her arms wrapped around him when he closed his eyes. When he had hit the age of seven or so there were no more embraces. His mother's drinking had grown worse though their living situation had improved.
We made it through the lonely days
But, Lord, the nights were long
And we'd dream of better mornin's
When mama sang a song
He would often call Atsuko by her name when referring to her and teachers found it so odd there had been a few inspections of his home as well as his body. They found nothing of course because other than the drinking his mother was the kindest, most loving woman in the world. She would still run her fingers through his hair at night, when she thought he was asleep. Yusuke always figured she'd stopped hugging him because she thought he was too old and would be embarressed by her affections. Maybe he would have. But he wished he'd had the chance to find out.
Now I can't recall the words at all
It don't make sense to try
Cause I just knew lotsa love came through
In that rock and roll lullaby
Yusuke would lay awake and wait for her to come back to his room to shut his nightlight off. He would lay as still as he could as the bed sank in under her weight. He wouldn't stir a bit as she touched her fingers to his cheek softly. The smell of alcohol permeated this memory but it couldn't taint the love in his mother's touch no matter how the bitter smell made his stomach turn even in memory. And then she would start singing again. Like when he was a toddler and she cradled him in that shithole they inhabited, trying to keep him warm at the expense of her own health. Yusuke no longer knew the words to the long forgotten hit of the 80s but the tune stuck to his mind. It haunted his dreams when he slept, a constant reminder of the love his mother had for him. The only love he ever knew as a child.
And she'd sing
It'll be alright
Just hold tight
I can hear ya, Mama
My, my, my, my Mama
Yusuke could hear his mother's voice ringing in his ears as he opened his eyes. As he escaped the blissful, bitter-sweet sorrow of his past. He would never understand how something so horrible as his life could seem so wonderful to him. But, as he stared down at the dirt just in front of him, as his eyes wondered up the stone that marked the grave of Atsuko Urameshi, he knew what made his awful past seem so inviting. She had always been there. Through all of those experiences, good and bad. He remembered, most of all, the time he had died. The way his mother had sat against the wall of their living room and cried. He had never heard his mother sob in that way. Never in his whole life. She had always been smiling, or nonchalant. She had never allowed him to see the sadness that must have been in her heart. He felt tears roll down his own cheeks. Now he was crying. For her. "No mother should ever have to bury their son." Yusuke heard this so often. What made it so fair for a son to have to bury his mother? His fist clenched around the rose stem in his hand and the thorns tore at his palm. Blood dripped down his fingers and fell to the grass below as Yusuke sobbed. Alone, in the middle of the night, with no one to love him. He dropped the rose to the ground, the stem nearly as red as the petals now. He stared at it as it rested against the dirt that concealed his mother's corpse.
"I love you Mama." he whispered, soft and sad. "I'm sorry...that I was never a good son. I know I caused you more trouble than you needed and I never listened like I was suppose to. But don't worry. Botan'll make sure you get to Heaven safe. So enjoy the ride, ne?"
Nothin moves my soul
Like the sound of the good old
Rock and roll lullaby
He turned from the grave and made his way back up the sidewalk. He knew Keiko would be worried when she woke to find him gone. Maybe if he was lucky he could make it back before she woke up. He made it halfway to the cemetary entrance when he had to stop and cover his face with his hand. Choking sobs wracked his body and he had to drop to his knees. His legs wouldn't support him anymore. He tried to make himself get up before someone on a late-night stroll came by and saw him but he couldn't move at all. He kneeled there, his face in his hand as he hugged himself with the other arm and sobbed the way he hadn't let himself sob since it had happened. He wailed so that he wouldn't be surprised if the cops got a few calls tonight. And he stayed there for so long that the sun began to break over the horizon before a hand touched his shoulder gently. He looked up to see Keiko standing there, staring down at him sympathetically.
"Yusuke..." she whispered softly, kneeling in front of him.
He threw all dignity aside and threw himself into her arms. She embraced him gently as he sobbed into her shirt. She knew it was going to be a very long time before Yusuke recovered from this tragedy. Even though she, the closest person to Yusuke aside from Atsuko herself, had never quite understood the relationship between the drunken, aged party girl and the disrespectful, foul punk either. One thing had become very clear to her. Yusuke had thrived on his mother's love when there was no one else there for him. He had survived in this world because of his mother's love. And now he would have to find a way to survive without it.