Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Deleted Scenes ❯ The Fox and the Clown ( Chapter 5 )

Deleted Scenes

 

UPDATE! - Okay I was going through my papers about to type up the next chapter of 'In the Dark of Nigh' when I found one page I did not add to The Fox and The Clown. @__@ I left out an entire scene, with the catnip gig! Well that's now fixed.

 

“Hello faithful readers! Katzztar here, to give you an intro to the next installment of the deleted scenes.

 

I wish to make an announcement for the readers that are not familiar with my works. I often (but not always) write their names as it appears in the

Japanese versions. In other words, the family name is first, with the given name last. Therefore, Yusuke Urameshi and Kazuma Kuwabara are Urameshi

Yusuke and Kuwabara Kazuma. I know many will already know this and I do not wish to offend anyone by suggesting you can't figure that out. However

there are new people out there that are unawares of the custom of the clan/family name being first and given/personal name following it. Many people still

are unaware or just learning that Kuwabara is actually his last name, not his personal name, which is Kazuma.

 

 

Scene Three - The Fox & the Clown

 

 

It was sheer luck that the guys were able to reach so far into the treacherous fortress. Koenma was correct in that it

was guarded by the new cultists that followed an ancient and long dead demon god. There were only three more levels before

they would reach the final level that had the tomb of the deposed 'God of War'. And in that tomb is said to be three deadly

magical weapons of destruction, swords that can destroy souls. However, first they must get past the cultists in question.

 

"Give us the key!" One large and very loathsome rat demon demanded.

 

"Key?" Kuwabara scratched his head in confusion, then eyed Kurama. "What key is he talking about?"

 

"I have no idea." Kurama replied, shrugging his shoulders.

 

"Don't you lie, thief! We know you bunch took the mystic sphere that unlocks the Great Lord's tomb."

 

"So that is what you are talking about." Kurama smiled at Hiei and Yusuke's grimacing faces. They were not

amused that Kuwabara was correct about the strange marble as Yusuke called it.

 

The bellow came from the demons again, "Give us the key"!

 

"What key?" Kuwabara stared directly ahead with a straight face.

 

"You know what key, ningen!" One cultist roared as he charged forward.

 

"Hey, you try to kill me and I'll destroy the key!" A smirk found it's way on the dumb-looking but secretly devious

human's face as the demons took a step back.

 

"You just admitted that you have the key, stupid human." By the look of his robes this was the cult leader that stood

in front of Kuwabara. "Now give us the key."

 

"Tchee, I'm getting tired of you repeating the same thing over and over. How about you, Kurama?" Grinning, Kuwabara

looked at his friend.

 

"Indeed, I am beginning to suspect that they do not know how to rephrase a simple question." Kurama smirked, enjoying

the game.

 

By now the beleaguered High Priest was red in the face with anger. In a furious voice he shouted, "Stop this foolishness

and hand over the gem!"

 

With a chuckle, Kuwabara jerked a thumb in the direction of the High Priest. "Oops, Kurama, you spoke too soon. At

least one is smart enough to rephrase his demands."

 

"Stop trying to us us mad, ugly." Someone in the crowd yelled.

 

"Hey, don't give me all the credit. You're doing a good job at that without my help! And you shouldn't call yourself ugly."

Kuwabara hollered, baiting the cultists while he continued to ignore Hiei and Yusuke.

 

"It's useless to try to stop those two, huh Hiei?" The fact that Kurama joined in on Kuwabara's antics had Yusuke scratching

the back of his head. "Damn, I wanted to hurry up and head back home. Why can't we just blast these morons and leave?"

 

"I wanted to finish this quickly as well. As for why we don't interfere and destroy the weak fools is simple; Kurama was

bored and wanted to toy with them." Hiei huffed in annoyance. He would have to wait for his chance to slaughter the cultists

but he smirked in anticipation of a god show. "As I told you back in the Maze Castle, it's smarted to work with Kurama than

go against him."

 

"Kurama must be planning on humiliating them before defeating them. He has his own ways of giving lessons that one

can never forget." A new voice stated from behind them.

 

"Yomi! Mukuro? When did you et here --- and why?" Yusuke was surprised that the two Lords would come to such a

petty place. It was beneath their status and that is what minions were used for. The majority of the demons here were barely C

class. Only the High Priest reached B class. They posed no real threat, only their numbers made them an annoyance. These

powerless enemies were too weak to even give them a workout. However, Kuwabara and Kurama saw it as a chance for amusement.

 

"I sensed that my First was back in the Makai. I was curious, so I came to investigate." Mukuro looked over to where the

two redheads stood. "I suppose that the tall one next to Kurama is Kuwabara, your ningen ally that we've heard about. Am I correct?"

 

Yomi faced the same direction as well. He, too, wondered about the youth that was able to stand side by side with the likes

of Kurama and Hiei. "I am curious, my research said that this Kuwabara Kazuma is good friend of yours Yusuke. The rumor is

that before either of you discovered how to use reiki, you were bitter rivals, continuously fighting each other with your fists. It's

said that you died and somehow you returned to life. It was then that you became friendly rivals. Is there any truth to that?"

 

Rubbing that back of his neck, Yusuke chuckled. "That's right. We would fight at least once a day. It was more like that

dummy would challenge me and I would pound his face in."

 

"However, Kuwabara is the only one that would return to fight you, correct?" Yomi persisted, not only to did his spies

found out about Kurama's human family when they were ordered to collect information on Kurama, but they also gathered

information on his friends and allies. Today gave Yomi a perfect opportunity to verify some of the the tales his spies told him.

"Even when you were an ordinary ningen, you were a vicious fighter. After you defeated a fellow human, they rarely came back

to fight you a second time and never by themselves. The exception is Kuwabara, correct?"

 

Meanwhile back with the cultists, their leader was beginning to loose his patience. The demon narrowed his eyes, his anger

apparent. "Enough fool! I've heard about you, Kuwabara Kazuma. You have one restriction against you that you dare not break.

A magical binding that a foreign ancestor placed on the men of your family."

 

"Hey! How did you know that? Even those idiots don't know, they never realized the truth." The indignation in Kuwabara's

voice was heard a mile away as he callously gestured in the direction of Yusuke and Hiei, who gave identical scowls.

 

"I'm glad you asked that." A feminine voice called out from behind the line of cultists, which parted to clear a path. There

stood a female demon in robes of identical design to the robes worn by that leader that had argued with Kuwabara. The robes

were the only thing they had in common besides the fact they were psychotic leaders of a rabid cult was trying to get a hold of

the weaponry of a long dead demon god.

 

"Where the High Priest was chunky, The High Priestess was tall and slim. While he was ugly as a toad, she was the picture

of beauty. He wobbled around like a crippled crab and she moved with the grace of a tigress on the prowl. He bellowed in a

voice that sounded like rock grating together while she was a mermaid singing. He was as bald as a baboon's ass and her hair

was as fine as silk. " The High Priest looked as if he was going to explode, the High Priestess preened and the others merely

blinked as Kuwabara seemed to praise the woman, until ... "AH! You're Mari Su!"

 

Hiei went for his sword as Kurama paled and Yusuke began to stutter. Even Yomi and Mukuro took a step back.

 

The woman in question stopped being amused. "You --- you fool! I am not one of those vile creatures! They pretend to

be perfect and always get the cute boys despite the fact they have nothing what the boys really desire. All Mari Su are females

that in truth are only young, little girls who believe their lives would be carefree if only they were perfect. They pretend to be

perfect so they can ignore the real world and their problems."

 

"Let me guess, you don't pretend, you are perfect ..." Kuwabara never got to finish the sentence since the priestess

began to throw --- a tantrum. What? Were expecting her to throw rocks, curses, or to throw up?

 

"No, no NO!" She yelled as she stomped her feet, doing a wonderful impersonation of Ayame the wolf girl form the

InuYasha anime. "I am proud to say that I am not perfect. I love being evil and and creating deranged plots. And I am not

interested in the pretty boys such as Kurama or Urameshi. I prefer my males to as least look like grown men. Most of the

pretty boys have baby cheeks and wide eyes of youth. I like men with strong jaw lines, like Hiei and yourself, Kuwabara. I

admire handsome scoundrels better than bishonen. The pretty boys are too boyish and are not sexy to me. I like males with

obvious muscles like Hiei and yourself. But I do not like short males."

 

Crickets creaked as Yusuke blinked. "Hiei, did I hear her right? I think I started hear things after she said that didn't

like Kurama's looks. That and it sounded like she repeated herself."

 

"You heard her, she said she liked the looks of Kuwabara." Hiei confirmed what Yusuke heard but refused to believe.

 

"Enough diversions." The High Priestess demanded as she strolled up to Kuwabara. "You asked how we know the

mystic restriction that was placed on you. Since you are helpless ..." That statement caused more than one chuckle. "... under

our power ..." The chuckles grew louder. "... I, Amiko, will tell you ... Stop that laughter, blasphemers!" She ended up screaming

in fury. Take my word for it, when she screamed all of Makai cowered from the volume alone. Covering his bleeding ears, Yomi

saw stars. Rizen's ghost heard her far away at his tomb.

 

Standing on the ledge to the arena, Yusuke was doubled over with laughter. Hiei had thrown his head back and roared

with laughter, the likes he hasn't done since Kurama and he learned that Yusuke was revived as a demon. Down on the arena

floor, Kurama continues to chuckle.

 

Kuwabara performed an exaggerated bow. "Sorry to burst your bubble, Amiko. We are not under anyone's power.

We're not fighting because it would be too easy and we're bored. We want to mess with ya."

 

"As if a simple ningen like you could engage in mind games with the likes of me. I am not like that fool, Hayate." Amiko

stood tall as she pointed to the High Priest.

 

Yomi and Mukuro watched, well listened in Yomi's case, in amusement. "Ho, she doesn't realize that he already started

with the mind games."

 

"Our apologies, Priestess Amiko." Kurama bowed and Amiko never detected the mocking tone to his voice.

 

Kuwabara walked closer to Amiko until she help out a hand, demanding him to stop. "Okay, I'll stop goofing off and trying

to bluff you guys." He said, hanging his head dejectedly. Suddenly he clasped his hands on top of Amiko's outstretched hand,

trapping it against his chest. "But can you blame me? Here I am, a ningen, surrounded by youkai, deep in the Makai. It's only natural

that I tried to bluff my way out of it. I'm sorry that I interrupted you earlier." He pleaded as he squeezed her hand, making it lay flat

against his chest.

 

"True, you are trapped here with no way to escape." At first, Amiko didn't raise her eyes from where her hand was encircled

by his larger hands. "As I was saying, we knew that Reikai would send someone to try stop us. Team Urameshi is the most infamous

and successful tentai team that Reikai has to fight against demons that don't fall in the jurisdiction of the Spirit Defense Squad. It was

obvious that you four would be sent, so we investigated your histories. We know your weakness, Kuwabara. You refuse to fight a

female because of that mystical prohibition." She paused simply for the drama of it. "You are not allowed to fight a female or you

would loose your powers. So now I will deal with you and my female followers will search you for the key. And there is nothing you

can do about it!" She boldly cried as she met Kuwabara's eyes.

 

"No! That mean they'll grope me! It never fails!" Kuwabara cried out in dismay as he jerked his hands. The sudden movement

caused him to yank Amiko's hand to the left.

 

They both stood still in apparent shock. Amiko stared at their hands. He still held on to her wrist, her hand flat on his chest.

Under her palm, she could feel his nipple. And she could feel something else as well. Something that went through it. Slowly she

raised her eyes again as her hand lowered so the fingers could verify what the palm revealed. "Do you have your nipple pierced?"

 

His answer was short and simple. "Yeah, I do.

She glanced to his right side. "Is the other?"

"Yeah, right one's pierced too."

Silence.

"Anything else?"

" ... "

"Answer me."

"My ear?"

"If so, why are you blushing? What else?"

"Tchee, below the belt."

" ... Bar or hoop?"

" ... Both."

"Prince Edward?"

"Yeah."

Squeeze, squeeze.

 

"Amiko! Quit feeling him up and find the key!" Hayate's screeching brought everyone out of a shocked stupor.

 

"Well, at least you didn't have to wait for the females minions before you were molested." Kurama was snickering,

finding the entire scene funny.

 

Collecting her dignity, Amiko called over the girls. "Very well, search him. And you, Kuwabara had best cooperate."

 

"Damn it, fine, I will." Kuwabara groused but secretly went a wink of amusement to Kurama, who managed to keep a

straight face. "At least the girls are pretty."

 

Three girls giggled as they started search the numerous pockets on the white trench coat that Kuwabara wore. Soon there

were various items on the rock and the ground in front of Amiko. A fourth demon girl went through the stash. "A pocket watch,

handcuffs, tootsie rolls, one history book, a bottle of chopped leaves, a pile of yen, four crumbled school notes. A bag of walnuts,

Nine signed love notes from different girls, two notes saying I admire you and I love you signed by guys. seven love notes that are

not signed, four pictures of female classmates, two of which are topless, one large pink collar that says 'Bad Kitty' that's linked to a

cuff that says 'Cat Trainer' ..."

 

Yusuke sweat drooped. "Okay, now I am not only scared but scarred. I really didn't need to know that Kuwabara has his

own fanclub or that he has a kinky side to boot."

 

By now that had emptied the pockets on the trench coat and removed it from Kuwabara. Now they worked on pockets of

his pants. They pulled out more candy, s set of house-keys, a butterfly knife, more love notes, a picture of Yukina, Botan and Keiko

in bikinis. But there was no mystical marble that could act like a key.

 

"High Priestess Amiko, we have emptied all of his pockets, We did not find it." One of the girls bowed.

 

"Search the belongings then. Unwrap all the candy, crack open the nuts, see if he hidden it within one. Open all the containers

he had. If we do not find the key in his belonings, then we strip him and search the seams of his clothes!" The leer on Amiko's face

was enough to make Kuwabara leery.

 

One of the girls, a cat demon stepped back, draping his coat over one arm as she tried to figure out what was in the bottle of leaves.

 

"I wouldn't do that if I was you." Kuwabara commented mildly.

 

"Well, you're not me!" The female cat demon retorted as she opened the bottle. After taking a two experimental sniffs, she

smiled widely and took a deep breath. She closed her eyes as her tail began to sway back and forth. Without warning, she giggled

as she jumped into a crowd of small rat demons and began to play --- rather viciously. If you ever seen a cat chase a rodent, then

you know how cruel a cat's play is. Trust me, for rat and mice demons, the worst nightmare is a cat demon in a playful mood.

 

"Let me guess, that was the catnip I gave you." Kurama inquired in an amused voice.

 

Kuwabara grinned as he watched her antics and the leaders scowled at the screams. "I did warn her not to open it. An that's

why I'm glad that I'm not her, not after she sniffed some extra strength catnip. "

 

When the other two female cat demons began to sniff the air, Amiko realized that they could smell the the potent plant. Although they were several feet away, the scent was intoxicating. Wanting to get rid of a plant that's a danger to the cultists, Amiko grabbed the vial and in a flash of energy, the catnip was vaporized. Unfortunately, that meant that the plant was burnt, albeit rather quickly. The smoke from the burnt catnip engulfed the area. When it cleared, confusion ran rampant.

 

Every cat demon present within one hundred feet was acting like kittens, or in the case of the one low level tiger demon; a cub. The vicious play that characterizes all young felines has been unleashed on the massive numbers of rat demons. The tentai will not have to worry about dealing with the sheer numbers since the playful cat demons were --- ahem, playing with the poor rodents. If you have ever seen a house cat chase and catch a rodent, whether it's a rat or a mouse, then you know of what brutality i speak of when a cat plays with a mouse, or rat. And to think, that was a house cat, a ningen anima! Can you think of how a demon cat would be like?

 

"The responses of the cat demons are predictable but I never would have suspected that would happen though." Yomi pointed to where Yusuke laid on the ground.

 

Both Lords sweat-dropped as Yusuke emitted a loud snore.

 

Hiei glared, while Kurama and Kuwabara blinked.

 

"Hey, Kurama?" Kuwabara called out as he pointed to sleep form of Urameshi Yusuke. "I know that catnip acts like sedative on humans but Urameshi was revived after his third death as a demon so ...?"

 

"My guess is that even though Yusuke is a demon now, his physiology is similar to his original human form." Even though that was said in a normal tone, Kurama grinned at the situation. "Speaking of which, why didn't it affect you, Kuwabara-kun?"

 

"So you mean that catnip still affect Urameshi the same way, as a sedative. Cool!" Kuwabara didn't even try to hide the devious look that dawned on his face. "There's a simple reason why it didn't affect me as strongly as that dummy. I have a pet cat, I've given him catnip. I also drink catnip tea."

 

"You built up a resistance?" Kurama asked skeptically.

 

"Tchee, working with Urameshi and Hiei makes it so I need a really strong sedative." Kuwabara made a face of pure annoyance. "Why do you think I asked for a stronger type of catnip? Damn, that was the entire sample you gave me that the psycho destroyed. Did you have anymore left?"

 

"No, I only grew enough for the amount I gave you. Although I do have some seeds. For the plant to have the correct properties, it will take a week for me to fast grow another batch of the new catnip to maturity." Kurama huffed at the questioning look from Hiei and Kuwabara. "I can't grow it any faster or my youki will cause it to have demonic traits."

 

"Ya know, you might want to keep a few seeds for that. Just think, if you created a field with this type of catnip but with demonic traits, you may end up with with a type of grass that sends up a cloud that causes people to fall asleep, like Urameshi." Kuwabara made his point by pointing at the still form of Yusuke. However a look at the playful cat demons caused Kuwabara to add some caution. "Instead of sleeping, it causes cats to act drunk. Either way, it's a distraction. You did say you had some seeds right?Ya know what, Kurama? It would be a shame for these cultists if some of those catnip seeds started to grow."

 

Kurama didn't even bother with a laugh as he agreed with his friend. Shortly, more screams rang out as the other cat demons began to fall

under the influence of catnip grown on demon energy. Hayate ran down the corridor with two cat demons following him. "As

I suspected, the High Priest really was a rat after all."

 

"YOU!" Enraged, Amiko stormed up to the two redheads as she wildly swung her arms to the cultists that fighting each other.

"This --- chaos is all your fault!" Screeching, she jabbed a finger at Kuwabara's chest.

 

Before she could react, he wrapped his arms around her torso and lifted her up. "Now, now, Amiko. Let's be fair. I did have a

partner help me." As he released her, she realized that there was white bindings that pinned her arms to her chest. Before she could say

anything, Kuwabara grabbed her shoulder and spun her around. As she came to a stop, stars were not the only thing circling around her.

As her vision cleared, she tried to strain her neck to see that the white binding now covered her from toes to her mouth, preventing her

from saying anything. "Tchee, I may not be able to hit a girl, but there are other ways to deal with a girl threatening me."

 

Yusuke laughed at the scene of the High priestess wrapped up tighter than a present. Hiei's eyes bulged in shock, "How did he ...?"

 

"I formed it out of my energy, just as I did with that headband when we rescued Yukina." Came Kuwabara's nonchalant

answer as he turned to the now-cleared path to the lower levels. "Now that we taught those cultists a lesson, it's get what we came for."

 

"Hey, I just thought of something!" Yusuke grabbed Kuwabara's arm, signally him to stop.

 

Kuwabara turned around to face hid friend. "Hey, Urameshi, did you hear an echo?"

 

Yusuke had no idea what Kuwabara meant."Huh?"

 

With a fiendish grin, Kuwabara clarified his question. "When you had that thought, did it echo?"

"Why you!" Within seconds a giant dust cloud engulfed the two boys. As it cleared, Everyone saw Yusuke sitting on Kuwabara's

chest as he punched away. Only for Kuwabara to switch positions, proving to the other Makai Lords that he could give as good as he

got. As what was normal for one of their skirmishes, it was over quickly. "They searched all your pockets, so where is that marble? Don't

tell me you lost it!"

 

"I didn't loose it, you ignoramus! I hid it since it was obvious that they would try to search us for the damn thing." With that,

Kuwabara reached up to the 'duckbill' coif that the real tough guys wear on the streets of Japan. Digging into his hairdo, he pulled out

a glowing blue stone.

 

Even fifty feet away, Yomi and Mukuro could feel the magic of the item. "Unbelievable that his own aura was able to hide the

gem's power. "

 

"Amiko should have searched my body instead of my belongings."

 

 

 

~FINI~

 

 

AN=

"The leer on Amiko's face was enough to make Kuwabara leery." As this was my favorite line in this entry of insanity. Two words are

so close together, the only difference is the 'y' at the end. Yet their definitions are completely different. Put the two together and you get a wonderful scene.

 

leer = a lascivious or sly look

leery = wary, suspicious

 

"Hiei's eyes bulged in shock."

Do NOT tell me that I am making Hiei OOC. 1= I already warned that this entire series of one-shots

are OOC. 2= Hiei is not OOC in that scene, There are plenty of times in the manga they show Hiei's widen in surprise or shock.

 

I said before, I am dropping off the `from the Dark Tournament' from the title. The reason for this is that now I can add more to

the story and it's not limited to one set time frame of the series. This chapter is proof of how you can diverge from the plot if you don't

re-read it plot notes. I was planning on writing the the entry for Raiders of the Demonic Tomb But I was writing it at work when I was

waiting for a ride home, therefore I didn't remember that 'Raiders' is suppose to be set shortly after they go to Maze Castle, therefore they

had not met the Makai Lords, Mukuro and Yomi. So I ended up with TWO entries for the idea of the guys stopping a demon cult. So the

plot will be similar for ch. 4 & 5 = The guys go to stop a demon clan, Kurama & Kuwabara make the cultists look like fools, but the delivery

will be different for chapters 4 & 5.