Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Hiei Loves? ❯ What's Holding Her Back ( Chapter 8 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Hiya all! I've decided to try something new. At the end of every chapter I'll be putting a little summary about the next chapter, like I did in chapter six if you recall. So remember teams and reviews! Sayonara bye bye!

Chapter Eight: What's Holding Her Back

~Urameshi Residence~

Atsuko opens the door to find each boy asleep. Yusuke and Kuwabara lay on the floor snoring, Kurama lays soundly asleep on the couch. (Awww) Asaki sits in the chair also soundly asleep. And Hiei sits against the wall near the couch with his head down and his arm hanging over his knee. The only way you could tell he was even asleep was that his breathing patern was different, it was calm. (Kawaii! Hiei sleeping! *drool*)
"Oh my God." Atsuko said bewildered.
"Who cleaned up?" Shizuru said
The entire apartment was spottless, alomst shining. "Wow. I've never seen this place so clean before." Keiko noted.
"They surely did a great job." Botan said
Kurama heard their voices and cracked his eyes open a bit. Then opened them, blinking a few timesto wake himself up. He sat up with a soundless yawn. "Nice to see you all back." he scanned them for Yukina and Sutana but they weren't there. "Where are Yukina and Sutana?" he asked.
At that question Hiei snapped open his eyes, well aware the girls were there before they even walked through the door.
"They're on their way to Genkai's." Botan answered
"Who is?" Yusuke said sitting up while rubbing his eyes.
"Yukina and Sutana." Asaki replyed. The girls jumped at his sudden awakening. "Strange," he pondered.
"What is?" Botan asked.
"Wasn't Hiei here just a few seconds ago?" Asaki said. They turned to Hiei's last position and sure enough he was gone.
"That's odd, where'd he go?" Botan said puzzled.


~Genkai's Temple~

Yukina leads Sutana up the long passage to Genkai's temple. While they walked up Sutana took her time admiring the forest around.( yes she has her bags with her.) The smell of pine refreshed her and the cool crisp air felt good against her skin. It all reminded her of home. Not here in the Negenkai but the Makai. She missed it there so much. She'd do anything to see her relatives just one more time.
Yukina stops at the entrance to two big wooden doors. Sutana stops dead in her tracks beside Yukina not because Yukina had stopped but because she felt another presence nearby. She shook it off and followed Yukina into the temple.
Hiei stood up in one of the many trees and watched the two Koorimes walk into the temple. And once content sat down on the thick branch.
They came to an area with but a coffee table and an old woman sitting drinking tea. She cracked an eye open and took another sip. "I see you brought a friend with you, Yukina." she raised an eyebrow. "A demon are you?" Sutana was shocked.
"But how? I masked my energy." Sutana said astonished.
"Hm, I am no normal old lady, dear. " Genkai said in response.
"Genkai-sama," Yukina bowed respectfully. "I was wondering if you would be alright if Sutana were to stay with us?"
"Of course. Show her to one of the guest bedrooms."
"Arigato." Yukina bowed once more then turned to Sutana. "Just follow me." Sutana nodded but before she followed she said to Genkai,
"Thank you so very much. This means so much to me." Sutana bowed.
"It is my pleasure, Sutana." Genkai said. Sutana raised then raced off to find Yukina. Moments later Yukina had dropped Sutana off at her new bedroom door. "Here you are." her room was on the right side of the hallway and the second room. "I'm just across from you and Genkai is beside me." Yukina told her. Sutana pondered for a moment.
"Then...who's room is beside mine?" Sutana pointed the first room on the right.
"Oh, that's Hiei's." Yukina replyed.
"Hiei lives here?" Sutana said a bit suprized.
"Well, not exactly. He comes by every-now-and-then so we gave him his own room."
"Oh, I see."
"Good night, Sutana. I'm glad that you could stay here."
"So am I, 'night."
"Try to get some sleep, okay?"
Sutana nodded. "I will." Yukina entered her room and Sutana into hers. The floor in her room was fine wood and newly polished. A white tami mat (i think that's what it's called) lay on the floor with a night sky-blue thick blanket on top along with a white pillow in the center of the room. There was a screendoor that must lead to a closet on the left side and a dresser on the right, along with a full-length mirror by the screen door she had just entered through. It wasn't to big but it wasn't to small, that is what she liked about it.
She picked up her bags and put them by the dresser. "I'll wait till tomorrow before I put these up." she thought out loud. She searched through one of the bags and pulled out a silky blue night gown with spaghetti straps. (wish I had that T-T) She slipped into it and it reached to her mid thigh. "I knew I should have tried this one on. Know where's Asaki's cell phone?" she searched through her torn jacket pocket, it wasn't there. "That's strange. I thought I..." her eyes grew wide as she remembered when her jacket felt some what lighter on her way to the temple but she was to intranced with the forest's beauty to realize, the cell had fallen out. "Oh no! That's Asaki's phone. I have to find it!"
She rushed to her door trusting it open and *BAM!* She sat up rubbing her head from the sudden run in. She opened her eyes to seethat she was on top of Hiei. She blushed thirty different shades of red and shot up like a bullet. "I am SO sorry, Hiei! I didn't mean t.." she stopped as Hiei stood up brushing himself off and held Asaki's cell phone. "You found it!"
"Yeah, here." he handed it to her.
"Thank you Hiei. I appreciate you bringing it to me."
"Hn." was all he managed to say. He raised an eyebrow at her. Then turned his gaze away from her with a shade of red on his cheeks.
"What is it?"
"..." he then disapeared. Sutana stood there dumbfounded then walked back into her room closing the door behind her. She went over to the desk and put the phone in the top drawer. It was then when she walked back to her bed she saw herself in the mirror. She blushed intensly at her reflection, now knowing why had Hiei blushed.
Part of her gown had gotten tucked in her purple underwear from the fall and her right srap had sliped showing the top of her chest. She rearanged her gown and climbed into bed pulling the blanket up covering half her face. 'I can't believe he saw that!' she blushed even more. 'And why'd he bring me Asaki's cell phone? From what I know that's not like him.' *YAWN* 'Oh well, better get some sleep. Sutana closed her eyes soon falling into a deep sleep.

~Morning~

Sutana rolled over in her sleep as she heard THE most anoying sound trying to wake her up. An for some reason she couldn't get the a certain phrase out of her head. '? I don't know where to go- when I feel like crying...?' She snapped open her eyes in realization that the phone was going off. She trew off her blanket and slipped on her way to the dresser. She used the dresser to help herself stand up and yanked over the drawer nearly falling back in the process. She fumbled the phone but eventually picked it up.
"H-hello?" she said out of breath.
"Mr. Amasaya, this is the hospital. I'm afraid I have some bad news. Early this morning your father pulled the pulgs." Sutana's heart skipped a beat and she nearly dropped the phone. "His nurse left to get him his medicine and when she came back she found that your father had unplugged all of his oxygen supply and had pulled out the IV. I am so very sorry for your loss. But we need you t..." Sutana dropped the phone. She turned her back to the dresser and slid down pulling her knees against her chest while clutching her head between her hands. She begain to shake, the line still on and the nurse was calling out 'hellos?' and are you 'alrights?'.
Sutana sat in that for just a while longer without shedding a single tear. It was as if all her emotions were swept away from her. She stopped shaking and looked at her image in the mirror with disgust. All she saw was an emotionless weakling. The nurse had finally hung up so Sutana hung up as well and stood putting the cell phone on the dresser. She dressed in her sleeveless crimson kimono with the fine glod lining with a slit in it that went to her hip. Her hair was just long enough for her to put it up in a Japanese style bun. She slipped on her wooden sandles and left for the dinning area.

Yukina looked up from pouring Genkai some more tea and gasped at Sutana. Genkai looked and was surprized as well. "Sutana! You look so beautiful!" Yukina cheered
"What's the occasion?" Genkai asked.
"Nothing really. I just thought it would be fun to dress up today."
"Come, sit down. I made ramen and rice balls. You slept awfully late, it is already one o'clock."
"Wow, I didn't think I'd sleep THAT long." Suatana said with cheerful smile. Her smile was fake, something was wrong, Genkai sensed it but said nothing.

Sutana stood up fromthe table. "Thankyou for the wonderful meal, Yukina. Where is the kitchenso I can wash my dish?"
"Don't worry, I'll do that." Yukina said with a smile.
"Arigato. I'll be out in the garden now. I need to keep up on my meditation." Suatana bowed. (yes...she meditates) She walked out into the snow covered garden looking for a good meditaion spot. Hiei heard her and looked down from his tree, stunded seeing Sutana dressed as she is. He stared wodering what she was doing.
A patch of lavender covered in some snow caught her attension and she went over to the refreshing scent that would soon leave because of the bitter forst. She sat criss-crossed by the patch and plucked one of the stems of lavender. She placed the flower between her hands, sticking out, in a monk-like position. She breathed in through her nose and out with her mouth. Everytime she breathed through her nose the lavender scent went with. The flower's scent was to relax her senses so she could focuss on her surrounding. Grey clouds started to form above but no matter, sh edidn't care.
'Inhale...exhale. Inhale...exhale.' her muscles and senses relaxed from the meditation. She listened the her surrounding going back to her normal breathing. She would listen to a sound, discover what it was and then located it. Hiei had watched her do so for twenty minutes then fell asleep in the tall tree.
Time passed quickly and Sutana had named and located every sound she heard. That would've equalled up to oh almost fifty different sounds, almost. She listened closer for any soud she missed. She found one, it was a calm breathing signaling someone was asleep nearby. She listened closer, it came from...a tree. Yes, the tree right outside of the temple.
Sutana stood up streching then tossed the flower to the ground. (a/n: this is normally NOT what she would do. She simply replant the flower into the ground instead of tossing it to the side.)
She walked quietly back to the temple and stopped to look up into the tree. She looked up at Hiei and couldn't help but to let a smile spread to her face. She stared at his child like figures, it warmed her heart to see him like that instead of his grumpy usual self. She shook her head scolding herself mentally for she had but one thing on her mind...
She went inside, luckily Yukina and Genkai were off somewhere else so she could go strait to her room instead of talking. She closed the door to her room and went to her dresser. She started to put all her belongings into the drawers, she had just finished when the cell phone rang. She Picked it up and answered, "Hello?" she said with a stoic voice.
"Sutana, I have some bad news....father died this morning."
"...I know. The hospital called this morning for you, but I answered."
"Sutana, I'm so sorry! I forgot to change the numbers with the hospital. I didn't want you to find out that way."
"It doesn't matter. I still would be making the same decisions."
"What?"
"Nothing."
"Uh..alright. Well I got a hotel last night so Im no longer with your friends. I got the address to where Genkai's home is. I'll be shortly. We can work through this together. You're my little sister and I don't want you to feel those horrible emotions on your own."
"You needn't worry, Asaki-chan. All those feelings are about to disapeer. I won't feel anything any more by the time you're here."
"What? Sutana, what do you mean?"
"Sorry, onee-san. But I must go."
"Sutana! Wait! What are you going to do?!"
"I love you, my brother. Sayonara." Sutana hung up, leaving Asaki in fear on the other end of the line.
She left her room and entered Hiei's, knowing very well he was still out in the tree. She slid open his door. The room was alot like yours but the mat was in the back right corner and had black sheets, the closet was on the right too. And there was a dresser and trunk over against the wall on the left side. Sutana stepped in and walked toward the trunk. It had a lock on it but she only had to insert her molding energy into it and it opened. (recall in chapter six) She lifted the trunk and ther was a katana, one smaller than which Hiei carried, bandages with scrolls on them (used to contain the dragon), a few scarfs, some small daggers and two regular sized ones.
She took one of the daggers, it was a sharp blade and the hilt was made from what looked like a dragon carved from emerald. She closed his door behind her and exited the temple doors without being noticed. She walked past the sleeping Hiei, dagger at her side, into the woods. After a good fifteen minutes of walking she came upon a cliff. The grey clouds from earlier had now turned black, hinting that it was going to rain.
She knelt down on her knees, dagger in her hands. She held it to her chest. "Mother, I miss you so. And father, I am sorry I did not get there in time. If I had only...I-I could have saved you, convinced you, that there is more to life even though mother died. But now I am the one who WOULD need convincing. But it's to late..." Sutana knelt down her head as two tears raced down her cheeks and it started to rain. It just started to pour heavily, it wasn't even light at first, it just poured down.
She raised the dagger to her chest as the rain mixed with her tears. "Mother, father. I'm coming, we can be together...once more." she pulled the menacing blade away from her chest and then all at once she yanked it forward...


~CRACK!~ (lightening)


Hiei shot up in the tree as he heard the lightening crash and feel it shake the very earth around him. He then heard Yusuke, Kuwabara, Kurama, and Asaki running up to the temple. They all run in to find Sutana and tell Yukina and Genkai about Sutana, but Askai stops in his tracks and turns to face Hiei. Hiei is taken back at first, for a meer human had detected him.
"Hiei! Have you seen my sister?" he asked.
"...Yes. She was in the garden last time I saw her. BUt it appears she's not there anymore." Hiei replyed. Asaki had a fear and loss written all over his face. "Hn...I'll find her." Asaki looked at him suprized but before he could say anything Hiei had left.


~CRASH!~

Sutana had her eyes squinted and her teeth grinded. She opened her eyes a crack to look up in to the sky not caring that the rain was stinging her eyes. 'W-what happened?' she looked at her hands, she held the dagger but a few centimeters away from her heart.
"I don't get it. It was so easy for father. But why can't I?!" she started to shake but she gripped the handle tighter. "What's holding me back?! What is holding back from being with my parents? I want to be with them!" then her memorys came flashing through her mind...the memorys of when Hiei had saved her...when they were at the restaurant...and their little 'run in' at the temple. "Uh....Hiei? But why would he keep me from doing this? I love my family, not him...right?" 'No! I don't care! I-I HATE Hiei! I despise that baka onna!' she yelled in her thoughts and raised the dagger once more to penitrate her heart.
She forced herself to yank it to herself. This was it, she could do it. If..."I HATE HIM!!!" she yelled as she convinced herself it was for the better...

Sutana opened her eyes to see the blade once more before her chest, butt this time blood covered the blade. She felt faint as she partially closed her eyes. 'Im coming mommy, daddy.' were her last thoughts as...

"Open your eyes, baka onna." it was Hiei. "You are NOT dead." Sutana slowly opened her eyes to see it was Hiei's blood that smear on the blade. He had grabbed the blade in attempt to stop her...and it worked. She was furiated that he stopped her.
"Let go! I can do it now! You held me back from killing myself once and I won't let you do it again." Sutana yelled. Hiei glared and tugged the dagger away from her tossing it in the grass.
"I will NOT allow you to kill yourself!"
"I am ment to die! So I can be with my parents!"
"NO! You are NOT ment to die! If you were to die do you really think your friends would be looking for you?! Let alone that I'm the one to save your sorry ass again! If you were to die, then explain why you are being held back?! You are to live here, with us! That's why this all happened! So suck it up and get used to it!" Hiei said. Sutana looked at him teary eyed. Her expression softened and out of no where flung her arms around Hiei's neck and kissed him, holding into the kiss. Hiei is absolutly stunned and is turning a different shade of red for every second she holds on.
She pulled away and looked at him with a weary face and whispered, "There. That...should...do it." she fainted into his arms while clasping the hand he used to catch the dagger. The wound was gone. He was shocked and confused. Did she kiss him because she has feelings for him, or to just heal his wound?

~End O'Chapter~

Next Time in Hiei Loves? Hiei questions Sutana's feelings as well as his own. And when the girls have schedule a walk though the forest they are attacked by fire demons. It will be a bad day for both Yukina and Sutana and even Hiei when disaster strikes in 'Fire And Ice Just Don't Mix'.