Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Man, I feel Like A Woman ❯ Chapter 1 ( Chapter 1 )

[ A - All Readers ]

Hey everyone- I've decided that I've bashed Kurama more then enough so this time I'm going to bash someone else.

Aaaaaaaaaand my victim is… ::drum roll::

>.> Ya won't flame will ya

<.< Oh heck I know ya will probably

>.> I don't really care so here it is...

…Yusuke…

Sorry Yusuke fans but I need to pick on someone else besides Botan, Kuwabara and Kurama and I need a guy. Sorry. But if makes you feel better they all are goin to get kinda bashed (Kurama, Kuwabara, Hiei, Koenma).

Disclaimer- I OWN NOTHING!! I do not own YYH, or the song `Man! I feel like a woman!', or Shania Twain...or do I...

A/n- This may be horrible I wrote it at two in the morning half asleep...

X-X-

Yusuke, Hiei, and Kuwabara stared at the truck that parked in front of them. They had heard that Kurama had just got his license and bought a new car, but this truck!?

Yusuke drooled as he stared at its black exterior. Two full seats, four wheel drive, and that was just the beginning of it all.

Kuwabara inched away from it. The last time he had been this close to a truck was when Sensui had captured him, and he did not want to go through that again. It was easy to say that the poor lad had developed a phobia to trucks. And cats, and caves, and dirt, and dice, and windows, and black hair, and trees. Nervously he glanced over at Hiei, and gave a quick girly scream before dodging behind a trashcan.

Rolling his eyes Hiei once again pulled on the blue ski cap successfully covering his black hair. How he loathed to have to wear such a ningen thing.

Yusuke- however- had taken a different path, his once black hair was dyed a bright neon green with pink and blue stripes. Well he really did not choose it but instead Botan. He had come to the decision that Botan had done this to get revenge for all the times that Yusuke had made fun of her hair. Yusuke had tried everything to remove it but nothing worked. If anything the color seemed to get brighter with each attempt.

Smiling brightly the lean red head jumped out of the truck, giving a quick wave to his friends. “Hey guys, what's up!” He casually asked, as though pulling up with a huge, new truck was no big deal.

“What do you mean `what's up?' When did you get that?” Yusuke asked pointing over to the beautiful vehicle, which he was now seriously deciding on barrowing without asking late some night.

Kurama stared at the drooling boy trying to decide if it was safe to answer that question. Finally after five looong minutes of decoding every possible meaning he decided that it was safe enough to answer. “Uh yesterday.” Was the brilliant answer.

Yusuke fell forward and stared at the fox. It took him five minutes to answer that much. Recovering quickly he smiled a devilish grin, “So, when were ya planning to take us for a drive.”

Kurama smacked his head. He had thought about every answer but this. He still had stale memories of the last vehicle that they had driven together in. Oh the poor marching band, how many time had they ran over their mascot? Then there was the `no right turn on red' sign that stuck out from the grill and the demented granny that they had drag raced with.

“Uhh,” Kurama was afraid to answer either way, if he said yes his `beauty' was in danger, yet if he said no then his `friends' would take her for a ride. “Uhh, ok but I drive and you all have to sit perfectly still without going crazy. Understand?”

And with three quick nods everyone jumped into Kurama's `beauty' as he called it.

For the first fifteen minutes the ride was pretty uneventful. Kurama drove, while Kuwabara sat in the passenger seat- after repeatedly saying, ...err... maybe shouting is a better word- about how he was not going to sit anywhere near the back. Right now he had his head sticking out the window like a dog, long traces of drool falling from his mouth- occasionally hitting Hiei on the face.

Yusuke sat in the seat behind Kurama smiling and drooling over the inside of the truck. He loved every bit of it so far.

Hiei however looked mad at the world. He still had no idea why he was here. One second he was on the corner staring at the truck and then the next he was tied up in the back with some ningen device called a `seatbelt' with the idiot's drool slapping him in the face.

Kurama slowly relaxed as he realized that everyone was actually behaving together. Smiling he decided to enjoy the rest of the ride.

Maybe that was his down fall. Or maybe it was the demented granny. Or because of all of Kuwabara's fears. Or maybe because of all the fan boys that wanted to be alone with him. Well whatever it was, it was not good.

Stupidly Kurama had decided to pick up Koenma and take him for a spin too. For he knew otherwise his truck would end up demolished, just like his train set and talking barney toy.

So at their next stop Kurama screeched to a stop, just centimeters from the teenaged demi-god.

“Wow! Wonderful Kurama. You're the only one that's actually tried to kill the toddler. Neato!” Yusuke laughed while digging deeper into the seat.

Smiling nervously Kurama just chuckled while downing a few more sedatives. Some how he would survive this drive. And so once again he was off with three very uncomfortable people in the back, Kuwabara's smashed in face sticking out the window (though he was no longer drooling now) and a very nervous Kurama driving.

Kurama slowly reached over for the radio. He still had not programmed his favorite channels into it. Maybe this was a good time to. Slowly he went through them receiving grumbles. Yusuke was the main grumbler. After three minutes of hearing about how all of his stations were horrible to the ears, Kurama huffed. “Fine you chose the music.”

If only Kurama could have known how horrible of a decision that was.

Excited Yusuke reached over, squishing the tiny fire demon in the process, earning singed hair, and slowly went through the stations. He turned off the Spanish station, the Barney Lover's station (much to Kuwabara's dismay), the Kitten Lover's station, The Torcher's station (Hiei cried as it was changed). Kurama's left eye twitched as Yusuke ran through the stations for the tenth time.

“There's no more then what you have heard. Choose a dumb station!!” Kurama yelled startling all four boys. Sweat dropping Kurama cleared his throat. “I mean Yusuke could you please find something and stick with it.”

Yusuke- having recovered- snickered as he went back to looking, he had finally done it, he had made Kurama go crazy. Yusuke was about to turn off the radio when he heard the music of his favorite song start up. Screaming like a crazed sugar high fan girl he turned up the music.

Music blasted out of the speakers as Yusuke started to dance in his seat to the music- of course he had no rhythm at all. Terrified Hiei scooted further away squishing Koenma further into the side of the truck.

And as the song started up Yusuke made sure that his voice was heard.

/I'm going out tonight-I'm feelin' alright
Gonna let it all hang out/

Kuwabara screeched as he heard the nails on the chalkboard singing echo throughout the truck.

/Wanna make some noise-really raise my voice
Yeah, I wanna scream and shout/

Kurama slammed his head into the steering wheel as he glanced back at the one who dared to violate the graceful art of singing.

/No inhibitions-make no conditions
Get a little outta line
I ain't gonna act politically correct
I only wanna have a good time/

Snickering Koenma pulled out a cell phone from his pocket and slowly, skillfully switched it to camera mode. None of the ogres would believe him without proof.

If only they knew how horrible the ride would really get. Maybe Enma was against them, or Karma, or fate, or maybe it was Buddha, or some unknown god. But whatever it was- it hated the poor innocent occupants in that truck. For out of no where a giant traffic jam appeared out of no where. Exasperated Kurama's head landed on the horn. Though even that would not save him from the next lyrics.

/The best thing about being a woman
Is the prerogative to have a little fun and.../

Kuwabara's mouth fell open as he glanced back at the singing freak.

There in his normal green attire Yusuke held up his left hand as though holding a microphone while his (or was it `her') right hand was thrown behind his head.

/Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy-forget I'm a lady
Men's shirts-short skirts/

Hiei rose an eyebrow, `He forgot that he was a lady?' Sighing he glared out of the window hoping to either will the other cars to disappear or spontaneously combust- either one would have been fine to him.

But fate or karma or Buddha or well something was against them.

So basically nothing good happened.

/Oh, oh, oh, really go wild-yeah, doin' it in style
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action-feel the attraction
Color my hair-do what I dare/

Koenma- who was in the middle of trying to figure out how to get his phone to record- froze. `Ha! I knew he changed his hair color on purpose, and trying to blame Botan.' (A/n- O.o What the heck did that have to do with it??? O.o;;)

Thinking that he had gotten the dancing singing fool on tape, Koenma started to celebrating. Laughing sinisterly he decided to see it again. But Karma was still against them for when he pressed the replay button the demi-god realized that the phone was dead.

Depressed the demi-god sunk into the seat, desperate for relief from the screech owl sitting in the backseat.

/Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, to feel the way I feel
Man! I feel like a woman!/

Hiei's eyes widened tenfold as he glanced over at Yusuke. And they thought him GAY!! At least he never sang out loud that he felt like a woman!! Oh that was it. All the fanfiction writers out there was going to hear all about this. He would prove that he was not the girly one in this car.

/The girls need a break-tonight we're gonna take
The chance to get out on the town/

Kurama's head still had not relinquished the horn yet. And the driver before him was twitching considerably.

/We don't need romance-we only wanna dance
We're gonna let our hair hang down
The best thing about being a woman
Is the prerogative to have a little fun and.../

Kuwabara- noticing that the man before him had black hair and looked ready to beat up Kurama- quickly flung Kurama back. Only succeeding in knocking out the poor fox (uh maybe he's the lucky one here? O.o;;).

/Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy-forget I'm a lady
Men's shirts-short skirts
Oh, oh, oh, really go wild-yeah, doin' it in style
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action-feel the attraction
Color my hair-do what I dare
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, to feel the way I feel
Man! I feel like a woman!/

Oh yeah, Hiei was defiantly going to prove to all of those fanfiction writers out there. They would pay for those stories that they put up.

/The best thing about being a woman
Is the prerogative to have a little fun and.../

Sliding further away from the singing lad Hiei bumped into Koenma who dropped his phone.

/Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy-forget I'm a lady
Men's shirts-short skirts/

Hearing the crash Kuwabara screamed, “Get down it's an ambush.” Sadly the phobic bound lad forgot which way was down. Jumping behind the seat (is that even possible?) he landed squarely on Koenma's poor phone, which he had found an energy reserve source for emergencies.

/Oh, oh, oh, really go wild-yeah, doin' it in style
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action-feel the attraction/

“Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!” wailed the poor demi-god. He was so close to blackmail. And popularity at the staff meetings. And then girlfriends!!! All his dreams of fame and glory flew out the window as he stared at the big olf who now stood atop his poor phone. And only two payments left on it.

/Color my hair-do what I dare
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, to feel the way I feel
Man! I feel like a woman!/

All the while Yusuke seemed totally oblivious to the circus around him. Kurama was still out cold (I swear he's lucky). And Hiei, well Hiei was currently busy on figuring out how he was going to prove this to all fanfiction writers out there. Pushing back plots of world domination (sorry pinky and brain- maybe another day) Hiei's brain worked to its max on figuring out what to do.

/I get totally crazy
Can you feel it
Come, come, come on baby
I feel like a woman/

As the song ended, Yusuke looked around tears in his eyes. “God what a beautiful song,” Yusuke sniffled before continuing, “Don't you guys think so?”

Then was when Yusuke saw Kurama knocked out with drool running down his cheek, Hiei grinning madly, and Koenma bashing Kuwabara in the head with a poor kitten. Kuwabara squealed in horror as he realized that he was not only in the back seat of a truck, but that he was being hit with a kitten.

Sighing Yusuke rolled his eyes muttering about how everyone but him was insane.

X-X-X-

Saka- ::drooling over the truck::

Kurama- ::rolls his eyes::

Yusuke- ::humming the song::

Hiei- ::curled in a fetal position::

Saka- Uh maybe a second disclaimer is needed- I do not hate Yaoi fics or fanfiction or its writers. This was just purely for fun- sorry if I offended anyone- that was not my intention. Crappy yes I know but it came to me at 2 in the mornin. Review or flame!!