Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ The Darkest of Hearts ❯ The Voice ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: I/we do not own YYH or any of its characters.

Firelung: A one-shot I wrote just to get the ideas moving in my brain again. -_-;; Who knows? At this rate Icelung and I just might actually finish the last chapters of Lady of Green before we even know how they get there. Anyway, this one's just me. It's kind of the inner workings of Hiei's mind as I see them. R&R please.

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A solitary figure stood on the roof of a skyscraper, unseen to the humans on the street far below. They scrambled to get out of the rain, while he stood on the rooftop, welcoming the coolness of the storm, willing it to rinse him away. Crimson eyes glared into space, lost in thought and memory. Images of the past, more bad than good, washed across his mind's eye in random order, seeming to enjoy the emotions that rose as they appeared.

That's ridiculous, he told himself, they are memories, nothing more. Lately, his memories had grown more and more persistent and refused to be pushed away, as they usually were.

Faces. Old, young, fat, thin, as ugly as monsters, and as beautiful as Yukina. The faces of the people he had slain as an assassin. The faces of the families he had shattered. The faces of heartbroken women, mothers, and wives. The faces of their children. He closed his eyes and clenched his fists, fighting the surge of guilt and pain that threatened to surface.

Why did any of this matter now? He had gone years without giving any of them a second thought. Why now? In his heart, he knew. He had grown weak. He had become no different then the humans fleeing below.

~So what's it like to have a heart? ~ Taunted a voice in his head.

Be gone, he thought at it fiercely.

~Are you truly becoming more of a human? ~ The voice mocked, full of scorn.

Go away! He tried to push it away with the memories but, like the memories, it refused to be quieted.

~You're a pathetic waste, you know that? So a small group of traitors and misfits showed you kindness, th- ~

SHUT UP! His temper flared and his soaked cloak steamed faintly with the heat of his rage. You know nothing!

The voice did not respond, but the silence was a gloating, purposeful one. It finally said, ~you can never go back to what you used to be. Admit it. You've lost the flavor for killing. ~

He struggled with himself. He couldn't let this voice win. He refused to be dominated. I've lost the flavor for pointless slaughter, he told the voice defiantly.

An image of a young woman kneeling beside her dead husband flashed in his mind. ~Why don't you tell her that? ~ The woman was covered in blood, blood that that he knew was not her own.

ENOUGH! His cloak steamed again as rage flooded through him.

~you can't even control your emotions anymore! And you were one of the greatest assassins of all time? You're nothing. Nothing but human-hearted weakling. ~ The voice ground itself into his mind, making sure that every word was imprinted on his skull.

The fury that had run like molten steel through his veins, drained away leaving him feeling empty and hallow. The voice couldn't be right, could it?

~Of course I'm right. ~ It spat angrily. ~I am you. And I know you better then anyone ever will. ~

Something stirred in his mind and, in another flash of memory, Kurama was saying, "Hiei, do you think all of us have perfect pasts? We all have ghosts that haunt us in our sleep. And don't try to act like you don't care. I know you do. I probably know you better then anyone ever will." Kurama had smiled at him then, and he had thought it Kurama was just being pushy.

Kurama, one of the few people he had come to respect. The others were Yuske and Genkai, and even a grudging respect for Kuwabara. Their faces flashed in place of his victim's, and finally an image of Yukina settled his churning thoughts in a shocking revelation.

With no heart, he couldn't protect her.

I would rather have a heart, than see them dead; he told the voice in a final defiance.

The voice did not answer.

A solitary figure stood on the roof of a skyscraper, unseen to the humans on the street far below…

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Firelung: Ok, I really want some opinions on how I ended this thing so remember: the review button is your friend.