Original Stories Fan Fiction / Realism Fan Fiction / Romance Fan Fiction ❯ The Pain of Letting Go ❯ Chapter 1

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

The Pain of Letting Go
By: haruno_sakura
Disclaimer: I own everything in this story, including the names and the theme. Please read and review!!! I really need people to read this since it's my first time to do such story. Thanks in advance!
~…Before I go… please… smile for me… I may not be with you physically… but the truth is… I'll always be here at your side…hugging you with my entire heart… smile for me eh…? Miss me, but let me go…~
The gates of Heaven finally open to her… with their ethereal music welcoming her…but she doesn't want to go. She wants to be with her true love…she wants to be a real person again…but that is only her illusion. But what if her illusion turns into a reality?
Kaname!!! Please don't leave me!!! I love you Kaname… don't die… please!!!!!!”
Would you have thought to live but suffer, or die and rest eternally? I did. I wanted to live, but not to suffer. I want to rest, from this blood-spilled sickness. The whole thing is in chaos, as my breath becomes too feeble. My coughs are getting harder, and they became so hard that it hurts. The boy holding my hand pressed it tightly, I felt his pain.
My name was Takada Kaname. Sixteen years of age, and about to die.
My breath suddenly stopped, taking a last bow on my mortal life.
It was the end of it. I was floating already, saying away from my morality. I saw the boy cry; as a woman patted his back… wait… that… that… that's my mom! And who's the boy? I can't remember him! Why?
My burial was too painful to see. I cried so many times, thinking why I died at such an early age. Finally, I decided to go to Heaven to end this pain. I floated so high onto the skies, and alas, I saw the gates of Heaven. But it was closed. This puzzled me as I saw a note stuck onto the front of the gate. It said:
Please finish all unfinished business before December 18, 2006.
What unfinished business? I wasn't sure what that is. I saw a beautiful well beside the gate, and it mirrored the boy I saw at the hospital. Who on earth is he? Why is this well making me see this? Is he my unfinished business? I better find out.
I went back, and I was surprised because I was in his room. I saw him crying so bitterly, holding my diary, my picture and the last uniform I wore before I was hospitalized.
“Kaname… why did you leave me? I love you so much… it hurts…” He took down the diary, and cried so hard. I wanted him to stop…I want to HELP him stop… but how?
I hugged him at his back, crying so hard because I may be the reason of his suffering… I am sorry… Yasuo.
“Kaname??? Are you here with me?”
My body seemed so solid… my hands became opaque… my whole body did! What is this? A dream? I can't believe it! I didn't let go of my hug… as he looked at his back, seeing me with my tears.
“Kaname! It's you! But…how… why? ~” I touched his lips, making him stop. I sighed… and smiled. I said softly, “I never knew you were my unfinished business. I want you to smile like a little child… I know you miss me… and now I'm here.”
“Would you stay with me forever?” he asked.
I wasn't able to answer back. I knew the answer and it hurts. I looked down, without glancing at his innocent eyes. He suddenly hugged me tightly, and said: “Let's make the most of it, okay? I know you won't be staying long enough, but I guess we could work it out.”
I cried again… this time so harder. I was the reason… of his pain and suffering… yet he can still say `Let's make the most of it'. I hugged him as well, enduring his misery as tears well up. I couldn't stop this. Why on earth… among all the people… why me? Am I too sinful enough to carry this chaotic moment?
I picked myself up, wiping away the tears from my eyes. I placed my hand in front of Yasuo's face, as he looked at me… I smiled like a little child. “My name's Takada Kaname. Would you be so kind if you introduced yourself to your true love?”
He laughed heartily and stood up. “Name's Korosuke Yasuo. The one and only true love of Takada Kaname.” He took my hand and we started dancing. Yeah, I know, we looked like idiots. This might sound corny, but our love is the music itself. Hehehe…
“I can't believe you're still here on Earth. What was the reason? Any idea?” Yasuo asked. I shook my head, not knowing the answer. I never wanted to know the answer. All I want is to stay with him forever.
I never thought of leaving him alone, even at school. Things became a little bit different for me, since I couldn't talk to the people there. I couldn't even talk to Melody, my best friend. I wanted to, and so I had to know what to do to in order for her to notice me.
At last, three o'clock came, the dismissal…
She was alone fixing her things. Her books were on her table. I walked slowly towards her, and I accidentally bumped onto the books. She was surprised to see that, and she was terrified. She rushed and went out.
“Melody!!! Please don't go!”
She seemed to hear it, and she glanced at her back slowly. She saw me, and I saw her.
“Kaname-chan…is… but… how… why…?”
“Yup, it's me. According to the gates of Heaven, I still have unfinished business. I don't know what that is, but I'm going to find out. I guess it's saying goodbye to you and Yasuo-kun. I still have 31 days to stay with you mortally. Then, it's goodbye.” I said sadly. She ran onto me and hugged me tightly.
“You silly idiot. I know you would stay with me always. Right?”
I laughed so loud and looked at her happily. “Of course. What are best friends for? I'll always wear the charm you gave me for eternity.” We laughed. “So you want me to come with you home?” I asked.
“I guess so. I miss that so much. Let's go!” We both held hands together and walked with happiness.
My days were so full of meaning and life. I was like living like a real person already. Days passed without me knowing it, it was only 10 days before my departure.
I didn't tell Yasuo or even Melody, because I know they might cry and curse God for letting me die. I just kept it a secret.
Yasuo and Melody were talking to each other often than the usual. I guess they're my friends, so there's no problem at all. Yet I feel something is empty. It's getting painful, as each day ends.
On the last 3 days of my stay, I saw some girls chatting about Yasuo. Since I'm a ghost, they won't be able to notice me.
“Hey, did you know, the balladeer Yasuo has a girlfriend already?” One of the girls asked. I guess that was me.
“Oooh! Who's the lucky girl?”
“They said it was Takada Kaname already, but news says it's now Sakamoto Melody.”
I was shocked with this news. I slowly stepped back away from the girls, and ran to the nothingness. I was crying so bitterly, thinking that Melody betrayed me. It was the Spring of Cherry blossoms. The gust of wind had swept my hair, making it so messy.
“Why…? I can't believe it.” I punched my hand on one cherry blossom tree and knelt down. I wish I never had tuberculosis. I wish I were alive now. I hate you!!! Why did you do this to me? Why? Why?
I went back to Yasuo's place, holding my diary with me. I saw a rosary and held it on my hands. Maybe this would give me comfort.
Yasuo entered his room and wasn't surprised to see me. “Hey there.” He said. I didn't reply. That was a surprise to him and asked, “What's the matter?”
I stood up, and slapped Yasuo on his cheek. “What's the matter??! I'll tell you what's the matter. You have a new girlfriend already! I heard! And it wasn't only a girlfriend, it was Melody! Don't tell me you're going to deny it!”
He suddenly kissed me on the lips. He seemed so true, but then, I felt this was wrong. I pushed him away from me and I shouted. “No! I know the truth! This isn't love anymore! This is betrayal! Betrayal to me, you and Melody! Please tell the truth and if it hurts, I'll take it.”
He said finally, “Yes. I do love Melody. Yet your memory lives on my present. This is all your fault! If you fought your tuberculosis, this wouldn't have happened!”
I stared at him blankly, and finally dropped to my knees and cried. He seemed so guilty and so he patted my back. I said, “Yeah, it's all my fault. I know I shouldn't be angry at you, nor to Melody. You're a mortal, and me… I'm just a soul. You should move on to my death and start a new page of your notebook.”
I made myself disappear, leaving a note from my diary. It said:
To Yasuo and Melody:
Go to the cherry blossom park on the full moon of this month.
The day came, and I waited for them to arrive. Both did. I was sitting on one of the trees on the park. The night was windy, perfect for a last goodbye.
I said softly, “To Yasuo, I entrust Melody, and to Melody I entrust Yasuo.” I hugged both of them tightly and I smiled. I added, “Before I go… please… smile for me… I may not be with you physically… but the truth is… I'll always be here at your side…hugging you with my entire heart… smile for me eh…? Miss me, but let me go… I guess this is goodbye guys.”
My whole body disappeared into the sonorous night, leaving them crying to my departure. I may not be with you guys, but the truth is, I'm always here… for eternity.

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