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| "Identity Crisis" Reviews/Comments [ 37 ] | | Pages (3): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 ] | Reviewed By: ardy1 On: December 29, 2008 03:16 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
First - I don't blame you for dropping your beta - I gave you no real help. Second, I have no particular help to offer on this chapter. Except, perhaps, a few comments. Sango got pissed when she walked in on Miroku "comforting" a potential client. This felt, actually, a bit gratuitous, especially when you simply dropped it and tacitly acknowledged it was a reflex action when she felt compelled to apologize, without actually doing so. I can't help thinking a better move would have been for her to feel yet swallow her ire - in any case, isn't the whole point of the story her perceptions of herself? I guess I didn't get the point of that particular interlude; I'm still honestly waiting for Sango's identity crisis. Miroku's POV seems pretty consistent, if remarkably patient overall, but I'm just not getting Sango's problem. Sure, she's feeling guilty and letting everyone down, and perhaps reasonably concerned about it being something of a repeat of missing Naraku's deceptions in their early encounters. But wouldn't she also be aware that mistakes are natural, and that perhaps she would be particularly vulnerable to a demon attack that preyed upon supressed sensuality, all things considered? Mind you, it would be highly embarrassing to admit to the hedonist within the group, especially since said hedonist had made clear his own interest in her. But wouldn't her devotion to her own professionalism had required her to suck it up? I do like this story, but I have to say it feel incoherent.
| Reviewed By: kmoaton [MediaMiner Member] On: December 28, 2008 21:44 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I sat down tonight and read the whole thing. I love it. I can't wait to see what the residual effects of the demon are and why they affecting everyone in the group. I love your take on Miroku and Sango. He is actually being good for Miroku and the idea of him and Sango sharing hot dreams are beyond awesome!
| Reviewed By: XxSarahxX On: December 15, 2008 11:50 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Wow, this is really good. It's a great original story, which is something that doesn't come around very often. Your writing is fantastic, and I look forward to reading more in the future.
| Reviewed By: kokoronagomu [MediaMiner Member] On: November 06, 2008 14:30 CST
Comment/Review:
good fight scene. ♣ one hopes the affectionate pairs can continue to be so. and whatever happened to yasha and kagome? ♥ delighted, ginny
| Reviewed By: kokoronagomu [MediaMiner Member] On: July 20, 2008 00:58 CDT
Comment/Review:
one is wondering what the trap is meant to actually do? . . . “Curiouser and curiouser!†Cried Alice... and the red queen's "off with her head!" (jefferson airplane 'go ask alice'). . . interesting ride, eloquently described. sorry about the above quotes, they just popped into my head and at this moment seem apropos (they may not make sense to anyone but me). ~ a pleasure, ginny
| Reviewed By: ScifiAmy [MediaMiner Member] On: February 10, 2008 23:17 CST
Comment/Review:
Great story. Keep up the terrific work
| Reviewed By: Hitsugaya630 [MediaMiner Member] On: December 01, 2007 17:20 CST
Comment/Review:
wow. really good, but...who did Inuyasha start cuorting Kagome? And....when did they start doing that in the forest in the middle of the night? Hmmm....*thinks hard and drifts off into space* *comes back slightly disgusted and scared* well...that..was....disturbing anywaysgreat story, please update soon!
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