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| "My time on the Going Merry" Reviews/Comments [ 7 ] | Title: CONTINUE!!!
Reviewed By: Rei Rei On: June 15, 2005 15:50 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
PLEASE CONTINUE!! I started reading today and its already over at ch. 3????? NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! *attempts to slash writer with sword* CONTINUE!! ~_^ :P
| Title: woohoo!
Reviewed By: gomugomubaka1 On: July 16, 2004 05:49 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
i like it! i think its a really good start! i cant wait for the next chapter(as always) and i think the first person isn't making sense...i mean what if you are going to write about where she comes from later in the story? maan well thanks for giving me the link! melanie
| Reviewed By: Rachel the Demon On: April 07, 2004 10:54 CDT
Comment/Review:
Sorry that last part got cut off. The review has been crossposted to the Fanfiction Marines Livejournal: http://www.livejournal.com/community/ffmarines/2785.html
| Reviewed By: Rachel the Demon On: April 07, 2004 10:51 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 5 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 2 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 2 of 10
Overall Rating: 5 of 10 Comment/Review:
First, what you have here is a Mary Sue. Not a completely unsalvageable wreck of a Mary Sue, but a Mary Sue nonetheless. Kae appears literally out of nowhere, and we know absolutely nothing about her before she joins the Going Merry crew for no good reason. Where is this home she's trying to get to? Why is she trying to get back there? Why do we as readers really care what happens to her? While volumes of exposition are very, very bad, I at least need to know something to keep me interested as a reader. The other thing is that you labelled this fic as "self-insertion" because it contains an original character, then proceed to say in the summary that it isn't SI, but your original character. Erm...that isn't a good sign for us experienced readers, especially with "My" in the title. It sounds like a Mary Sue from the get-go, and the rest of it doesn't really help. What makes Kae ultimately Mary Sue is that she makes the rest of the characters do things they don't normally do. Nami is perfectly capable of handling Sanji herself. Sanji only refers to Nami with a "-san." But I believe the biggest problem is Zoro's characterization. His little woman-hating speech in the third chapter is something so out-of-character for Zoro that it bordered on offensive. He does not think women are weak, especially after what happened to Kuina. He may not trust women %100 because Kuina "broke" her promise to him, but he doesn't think they're all lying, cheating sirens. After all, he still helped Nami at Arlong Park, he agreed to fight for Vivi's cause in Alabasta, and he spared Tashigi's life at Whiskey Peak. In short, this story has potential. But Kae needs a lot more development, and Zoro's characterization definitely needs fixing. (This review has been crossposted to the Fanfiction Marines Livejournal:
| Reviewed By: Jazencrou [MediaMiner Member] On: January 31, 2004 20:42 CST
Comment/Review:
It's awesome, the only decent One Piece fan fiction I found, really, no offense to the others. Please continue, I have nothing bad to say about it, only compliments, and maybe the chapters could be longer.
| Reviewed By: Chissa [MediaMiner Member] On: December 27, 2003 10:36 CST
Comment/Review:
dear Dragong_Shaddow Oh, i'm so happy with your review. You're the first (the official first is a fake one from some jealous person) I hope to read your fic soon too. greetz, chissa
| Title: Cool!
Reviewed By: Dragon_Shaddow [MediaMiner Member] On: December 26, 2003 18:43 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
This is pretty cool.^_^ I'm writing a story a little like this, too. I don't have it up yet, though. Keep it up! Please write the next chapter.
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