| User Name: | Blkwidow77 |
| Name/Nick: | Blkwidow77 |
| Last Visited On: | Dec. 16th, 2004, 11:00:58, PST |
| Registered On: | April 04, 2004 |
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| Homepage: | n/a |
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| Biography: | So um... It has come to my attention, that this bio page was blank... I never really looked before. o_O
But then, one day I was clicking on other people's names, well to be rather honest, I was bored and desperate to read SOMETHING amusing. But then it dawned on me *said while in deep contemplation*, while immersed in someone else's that mine... was blank.
'Is that what I want to say for myself?' I wondered? That the person that I am has nothing to say, and indeed, is blank?
The answer is that, I can't entirely say no...
I am, by my very nature a recluse. I could easily go months without every seeing, or needing to see, or interact with another soul. I have gone almost an entire week without saying... not even uttering a single word. I don't like to speak unless I have something that I feel SHOULD be said. That's not to say that I don't have my outbursts, where you couldn't shut me if you had a gun to my head, but they're rare.
Sadly the last time I had one, my brother looked at me with deep concern... got right up to my face and said in complete sincerity "Are you on drugs?" I grinned manically at him, replying "Does 5 Vivarin count??" Of which, I, then only laughed harder and continued to prattle on, while his friend nodded his head numbly at me, as if he were really listening to my tangent. Little did he know, I could tell very easily that he wasn't... it simply didn't matter. And if nothing else, I enjoyed torturing him, since he thought he should be polite and listen to my madness that I had given voice to this night. He's avoided me diligently ever since! MWHAHAHAHAHAHA
Does this have a point? Sure. This is a bio page. And indirectly I have told you about myself without having to be blunt, something else I don't like to do.
But I could tell you three of the greatest influences on my life. Would you like to know them?
I watched alot of t.v. Even when I was young, like probably around age 3, I'd watch t.v. There were no kids to play with in my neighborhood. But I clearly recall that at age 4 and 5, I watched the same 3 animations over and over, all day long... every... day. If I didn't get my fix... it got ugly.
1) The first was a recorded tape of various cartoons, most of which were cut off half way. But the one I still recall (It was complete, after all) is a "Popeye the sailor man" cartoon. As always, it had something to do with Brutus (another sailor and his nemesis) trying to steal the greatest love of his life, Olive Oil(well, he was kind of deformed so I could see why he wouldn't let go of the only one to love him just as he was). I will have to admit that the details of the plot escape, (Wait! Was there a plot?) but I clearly recall Olive Oil (his girl) getting ready for a date with him. She put this wooden contraption on her toes that covered her whole foot, except her toe nails. She then, took a paint brush and painted her toenails bright red with a single big "X". *swoosh swoosh* I can't say that this in particular had any specific effect on me but perhaps it tells of the roots of my impatience (she had perfect toenails in a second)and my saving grace to keep a few feminine traits, during my tomboy years (which were many and have never entirely went away).
OH! WAIT! Now that I think about it! Perhaps it has influenced my ability to overlook my absolute, hands down, no questions asked, FAVORITE character "Hiei" from Yu Yu Hakusho's shortness compared to my own height. Olive Oil was ALOT taller then Popeye! O_O I guess it's had more influence on me then I thought....
2) One of the stronger influences was a old movie called "Zorro: The Gay Blade". Yes, the connotations are meant to be there, when they titled it. This movie is a parady of the real series, I believe that existed before my time. But of course, to a young 5 year old mind, I entirely missed the joke. I took it all literally. Zorro had a twin brother who was flamboyantly gay, while he was a playboy extraordinarie. Their father was the real zorro and when he died he left it to them to carry on the family secret (they were rich aristocrats so they could afford to play).
At any rate, I took it all to be serious adult stuff. (Can you imagine?) And so it shaped the way in which I viewed the adults around me, and how I should become as an adult.... o_O (yes. I know it's getting scary) The romance was pitifully forthwright and obvious so I thought that my romances should be loud and obvious, not to mention very dramatic! The gay brother was loud and happy and in your face... ah yes, I see people are following me now. It shaped me into a crazy child that would only grow up to get worse.... or better, depending on how you look at it. XD I have an uncanny ability to deliver a punch line that can have an entire crowd in an uproar and am perfectly capable of holding my own center stage.
3) And lastly, the greatest influence came in the form of a classic movie "The Last Unicorn". NO WAIT my fellow angst fans! Don't roll your eyes just yet! If you have never seen this, then you CANNOT bash it. If you watch it and still do not see what I do then feel free to bash it then, but at least you're speaking from knowledge of having viewed it first. Yes, I had a common place fascination with Unicorns as a child. They dominanted my room and there are still traces of them now. (Although alot harder to see) But this movie really took an non-Disney approach to it.
First of all, even today I still love the artistic drawing of the animation. It brings to mind Medivial Gothic times, with its heavy black lines and deep colors. The lines follow circular and have almost a celtic tilt to them. The voices used for the characters are rich, the personalities rounded and all of them are full of fatal flaws, much like real life.
Even the unicorn can be surprisingly cruel in her words and actions, completely contradictory to how we tend to view them. The story, though the unicorn completes her task she set out to do, is quite realistic in that the unicorn suffers damage spiritually to her immortal soul in the process, tainting her purity. Despite being the immortal creature she happens to be, she is still subject to suffer consequences of actions and choices made.
And indeed, the ending is bittersweet, there are losses on all sides, much like real life. It burnt into my young undeveloped mind, how fragile happiness is, how even with pure intentions you will suffer consequences, sometimes brutally, that there are no guarentees in love and, more then likely, you will lose. It's just the way it is. I loved it, I loved that it smothered and crushed my soul, I suppose I am simple predisposed to angst. And in just the right places, they played clear sweet haunting melodies the foretold the future of these characters lives. Fate had them tight by the throat... and they will never escape her.
It also brought in it a character that played a only minor role in the film but a major one in my personality. It was a skeleton. By all rights, he was very long since dead and yet, his spirit continued to inhabitat these dusty bones. He was the guard for the door to the red bull. His personality was such that, everything, be it good or bad... was extremely funny. He loved when you talked nearby where he could hear you. Particularly, if you spoke of your current misfortune. That was of the greatest amusement to him and would set him off in hysterics immediately. If you spoke to him directly, he would only laugh and not answer. 'Why should he answer you?' was his take on it. But there came one point, where they found the one thing that caught his attention... that violated what he was guarding. He turned... pure evil. His voice changed into something no longer human at all. His empty eye sockets turned red and, you knew, he was quite deadly, even in death. My eyes widen and I backed away. I wanted that kind of power over people.... I wanted to be him...
And I am.... |
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