Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ *~DiGiTaL iNsAnItY~* ❯ Suicidal Patamon VS Insane Velgmon! ( Chapter 4 )

"Suicidal Patamon VS Insane Velgmon!"

NARRATOR: - In the last episode Izumi, Junpei and Tomoki got roped into washing stinky stinky trailmon and Duskmon transported takuya into his own badly drawn yaoi comic but thanks to Kouji who gave Duskmon the old very painful "ouch that's gotta hurt" hair tug treatment Takuya was released… only for Kouji to push him in the mud as punishment for making out with Raven from zoids in the comic…

Duskmon is walking through some dark danky place as a strange female voice from nowhere starts singing….

STRANGE FEMALE VOICE -
DUSKMON!
He'll make you play with his star trek figurines
Beware of DUSKMON!
His twisted Pyromaniac ways are his plot to rule the digital world
with Cherubimon's help!
He'll kick your digital ass
Then set something on fire!
But believe me he's getting therapy for iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!!!!
Beware of his Star trek fan nights
Cos he'll insist on watching every video!
And on Fridays Cherubimon wears a dress...
...he loves his flowery dress!

As the singer stops singing Duskmon stops walking and starts yelling, holding his head in his hands as he falls to his knees.

DUSKMON - ARGH! It's happening agaiiiiiiiiiiiiin….

Duskmon suddenly has a flashback…

*Flashback sequence*

Kouichi is stood in the dining room of his home looking at his mother who is sat at the table, looking sad.

KOUICHI - Mum…

KOUICHI'S MOTHER - Yes…

KOUICHI - Why didn't you tell me I had a brother?

KOUICHI'S MOTHER - I dunno…

KOUICHI - And why did he have to go with dad when you guys split up.

KOUICHI'S MOTHER - Well it's pretty simple my boy, we had to make an arrangement you see, your father got Kouji and I got the couch!

KOUICHI - But…? What about me…?

KOUICHI'S MOTHER - Oh you came with the couch, literally! I was vacuuming one day and you were in there, you'd been in there for 3 weeks and by then I'd lost contact with your father so I couldn't pawn him off to you so I got stuck with you…

KOUICHI - That… isn't the kinda thing a kid wants to hear you know…

KOUICHI'S MOTHER - I tell the truth lad. Er… what's your name anyway…?

Suddenly Kouichi's mother passed out and her head hit the table revealing the glass of cheap cola in her hand. Kouichi just shook his head.

KOUICHI - Nothing more pathetic than a cola addict…

AUTHOR - HEY! I was one not too long back!

KOUICHI - (*Looks at author with no real emotion on his face*) I rest my case…

Then the flashback changes to Kouichi standing behind a wall at Kouji's school. Outside he sees his father talking to some strange little kid.

FATHER - So how was school today little Kouji…

LITTLE KID - (*Looking seriously freaked out*) Er… why are you talking to me?

KOUJI - (*Off-screen*) Erm…dad…? (*His father turns around to see Kouji stood behind him not looking pleased as the little kid runs off in tears*) That…wasn't me…?

FATHER - It…wasn't? Then…who are you?

KOUJI - (*Grits his teeth in anger*) Kouji!

FATHER - Oooooooooooooh! (*Pauses and looks confused*) Kouji who?

KOUJI - ACK! YOUR SON DUMBASS!

FATHER - Don't use that word around me young man!

KOUJI - What? Dumbass?

FATHER - No…the word "Your" I hate it!

KOUJI - O_o;; Erm… K?

With that they both walk out of the school and down the road as Kouichi watches from the wall.

KOUICHI - Kouji…

GIRL - (*Off-screen*) HIYA!

Kouichi jumps a mile up into the air and then turns around to see a red haired girl behind him.

KOUICHI - (*Looking quite scared*) Who…are you?

GIRL - I'm one of Kouji's classmates! And I couldn't help noticing that you mentioned his name. Kouji is a cute widdle thing don't you think? But I think he's kinda gay cos I've asked him out on dates millions of times but he's always said no, but you look a lot like him, wanna go on a date huh? Huh?

KOUICHI - (*Looking even more freaked out*) Erm… do you ever take a breath in between sentences?

GIRL - Nope! Why waste time breathing!

KOUICHI - O_o;; Er… k? (*Backs off*) I'll just be…going now!

GIRL - (*Grabbing hold of his arm*) Argh! Nope! Nope! Your staying here with me, we're gonna get married and have 14 children and you will look after them all while I run a very successful business and sleep with several of my employees behind your back….

KOUICHI - (*Thinking about that situation*) Erm…that doesn't sound all that good…

With that he reached into his pocket and pulled out the only thing he could, one single match…which lit up like magic. He waved it in front of the girls face to scare her off but some of the flames flew off and landed in her hair, setting her hair on fire… she runs around screaming like a headless chicken and finally puts it out by dunking her head in the fountain. Although when she pulled her head out…she as completely bald so she screams and runs around again.

Kouichi is just watching her holding the now flame free match in his hand.

KOUICHI - I set fire to her hair… (*Face turns all evil*) …and I liked it!

With that he goes through the whole school and burns it down…

KOUJI - (*Looking back at the burning school from up the street*) Huh? The school is burning down again…that's like the 5th time this month… (*Turns to a group of fire-fighters who are all stood outside a fire station in front of a tent.*) Aren't you gonna go and…er…put it out or something?

FIREFIGHTER ONE - Nope… we're on strike!

GROUP OF FIREFIGHTERS BEHIND HIM - (*Chanting while holding banners*) "Today is nice and very sunny, so we want a ridiculous amount of money!"

Then suddenly kouichi runs past and sets their tent alight making the fire fighters panic.

FIREFIGHTERS - (*While prancing about*) Argh! Argh! Fire! FIRE! Call the fire brigade!!!!

KOUJI - You ARE the fire brigade!

FIREFIGHTER ONE - Oh your right…we are…

FIREFIGHTER TWO - But..we're on strike…

They all stand there for a while looking confused then they all start panicking and prancing again.

FIREFIGHTERS - FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!

Kouji just sighs and wanders off rolling his eyes.

*Duskmon comes out of flash back*

Duskmon stands up and shakes his head…

DUSKMON - Boy! That was the longest flashback I've ever had…

Duskmon continues on his walk through the dark danky place…but only takes a few steps before collapsing to his knees and holding his head again.

DUSKMON - ARGH! Not another one!!!!!

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Meanwhile…not to far from Duskmon… the kids are all travelling together as usual, but Patamon isn't looking all too good as he rides on top of Kouji's head.

PATAMON - (*Sighs*)

BOKOMON - (*Looking up at him*) What's wrong my little Oka-chan!

PATAMON - Oh nothing… (*Sighs*)…it's just…once I was one of the great angels and now I'm a little flying pig travelling with crazy losers…

JUNPEI - Hey! I'm not crazy or a loser… Izumi is!

IZUMI - (*As Junpei sniggers at his own joke*) Take that back JERK!

Izumi then gives Junpei one hell of a strong punch in the stomach making the boy fall to his knees in pain as Izumi storms off.

TAKUYA - You know… if you want to insult Izumi instead of date her your going about it the right way…

JUNPEI - Yeah I think I've just realized that… (*Lays on the floor*) now I'm just gonna lay down here on the floor and wait for this internal bleeding to pass…

TAKUYA - K… (*walks off*)… have fun!

Suddenly they all hear screaming that gets their attention.

TAKUYA - That sounded like…

KOUJI - …Duskmon!

TAKUYA - (*Looks at Kouji*) Lets roll!

The two then run off into the darkness like true super heroes…leaving the others (*Except Patamon who was still on kouji's head*) behind.
A sudden strong lonely breeze blows past them as the place goes deathly quiet.

JUNPEI - (*Breaking the silence*) So…what do you guys wanna do for lunch?

All the others fall down anime style.

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KOUJI - (*As he, Patamon and Takuya arrive to where Duskmon is*) So we meet again!

DUSKMON - Hold on, hold on!

The confused kids and flying pig watched as Duskmon took a bottle of pills out from nowhere, on them read "Flashback Gone, for people who have trouble with stupid long flashback sequences" With that Duskmon took one of the pills out and swallowed it with a glass of water he had also gotten from that wonderful place called nowhere. He then put everything away and turned to the others.

DUSKMON - I'm ready now.

TAKUYA - (*Scratching his head, looking confused*) Er…K?

KOUJI - Guess we should do the evolution thing…

TAKUYA - Guess so…

KOUJI AND TAKUYA - Double spirit Evolution!

KOUJI - Beowulfmon

TAKUYA - Ardhamon!

DUSKMON - Your fancy tricks cannot stop me Whahahahaha! (*Suddenly his eyes light up as he sees something n the floor*) Awww…wow! A limited addition star trek Figurine!

With that Duskmon jump ontop of the figurine and starts admiring it with a whole bunch of "Oooooooooohs" and "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhs" Beowulfmon looks up at Ardhamon who is sniggering away to himself.

BEOWULFMON - Great idea with the star trek figurine diversion…

ARDHAMON - (*Now in fits of giggles*) Hahahaha! I didn't do that! I'm just laughing cos there's a bunch of killer digital worms climbing up my leg (*With that he falls over still laughing*) Hahahahahaha! Oh good god I'm gonna die! Hahahahaha!

BEOWULFMON - (*Sighs*) Whatever!

Beowulfmon runs up to Duskmon and give him one hell of a good elbow to the chest making the evil dark hybrid roll over in pain…then Beowulfmon stepped on his figurine… he moved his foot again and a sweatdrop appeared on his head.

BEOWULFMON - Aw, man I'm sorry…

DUSKMON - (*Now quite angry*) You will die for that!!!!

The two digimon start fighting as Ardhamon and Patamon are watching on the sidelines.

PATAMON - (*Sighs*) Can't we all die yet…?

DUSKMON - (*Who has hold of Beowulfmon's hair and Beowulfmon has hold of his*) Let go jerk ass!

BEOWULFMON - No You let go Pansy!

With that both let go and Duskmon steps back.

DUSKMON - That's it! Duskomon, Slide evolution….

VELGMON - …Velgmon! (*Flying towards Beowulfmon*) You will now die for destroying that limited edition star trek figurine!!!!!!!

When he was just inches from Beowulfmon's face patamon flies in front of him.

PATAMON - Pleeeeeeeeeeease! Velgmon! Kill me! I don't wanna live my life as a flying pig anymore!!!! (*Cries*)

VELGMON - I don't wanna kill you…

PATAMON - (*Getting angry*) Then face the wrath of PATAMON! ARRRRRRRGGH!!!!!

Patamon proceeds to attack Velgmon and is actually making a good job of it. Beowulfmon joins Ardhamon and both look up watching the little flying pig make mincemeat of Velgmon.

BEOWULFMON - Feisty little thing, ey? (*The Beowulfmon blushes as he notices Ardhamon is holding his hand*)

JUNPEI - (*As the others arrive*) Geez! You two just get a flippin' room.

ARDHAMON AND BEOWULFMON - (*Happy*) OKAY!

They walk off happily but Izumi grabs their arms to stop them.

IZUMI - Oh no! You two are staying right here in case Patamon gets into trouble…

ARDHAMON - (*Sulks*) You NEVER let us have ANY fun!

BEOWULFMON - The little guy is holding his own fine up there anyway!

BOKOMON - (*Panicking like hell*) ARGH! My little baby….

PATAMON - TAKE THIS VELGMON! ARGH!!!!!

Patamon gives Velgmon one final blow and the evil hybrid begins to glow and the Darkness spirits begin to remove themselves leaving none other than Kouichi to fall to the floor.

PATAMON - (*Doing a little dance*) I'm Good! I'm Good! Oh yeah! Yeah!…(*He then stops dancing and sulks*) But wait…I'm the one that wanted to be defeated and die… (*Looks angry*) …DAMN IT!!!!!

Kouichi, looking all dazed, stands up.

KOUICHI - What the heck happened…?

JUNPEI - (*panicking*) ARGH! IT'S AN EVIL KOUJI CLONE!!!!!

With that he proceeds to hit Kouichi with a chocolate bar.

KOUICHI - (*As he gets continually hit by the chocolate bar*) Ow…ow..OW…would you quit it! That chocolate is surprisingly hard y'know!

Junpei stops hitting the boy with his chocolate bar and steps back to take a look at the human boy with the others. As Kouji and Kouichi exchange harsh glances at each other a strong wind and tumbleweeds pass by in the silence.

JUNPEI - (*Breaking the silence again*) So… what are we doing for lunch again?

Everyone falls over anime style.

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PREVIEW OF THE NEXT EPISODE:

TAKUYA - Now we have Kouichi on our side, yiiiiipppeeeeeee!

KOUJI - Takuya, if you even THINK of making out with my brother I'll seriously hurt you…

TOMOKI - Cerubimon makes an appearance and he's kinda scary.

JUNPEI - Hey! Don't be such a wimp, he's not all that sca… (*Cerubimon eats him*)

IZUMI - Serves him right!

KOUICHI - And I get to show of my hella cooooooooooool new evolutions which are not I repeat NOT evil Whahahahahahaha!

TAKUYA - Next time on Digimon Frontier it's "Lowemon and KaiserLeomon, Finally a Leomon which won't DIE!!!!" Keep watching, we'll promise to get junpei out of Cerubimon by the next episode…

IZUMI - What's the rush?

TAKUYA - Good point…

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Did ya like it? Hate it? Wished Patamon succeeded in his quest for a quick suicidal death…
…of course not…he's too damn cute for anyone to wish that upon him… ^_^