Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ *~DiGiTaL iNsAnItY~* ❯ Data Wars! Kouji fights...a lot... ( Chapter 12 )

"Data Wars! Kouji fights …a lot…"

NARRATOR: -
In the last episode Kouji and Kouichi made out a lot… and…er…that's all I remember… ^_^;; Oh well anyway in the skipped episodes…the children lost to the royal knights…a lot! And there were a lot of cute digimon…blah de blah…
…(*Pauses*)…Kouji and Kouichi…man that's all I can think about (*Screams*) GET THE AWFUL IMAGES OUTTA MY HEAD!!!!!! (*Runs off crying*)

The sun is shining, the rocks are dirty…and some Knightmon are assisting the funky Royal Knights in getting them some data….

GOTSUMON: - (*Trying to protect those funky looking stone head things*) You ain't getting this data you freaks…. I'll eat worms on a fly sandwich before that happens…(*The Knightmon don't listen and Gotsumon prepares for the worst*) …Guess I best prepare for the worst…

Then he hears a voice out of nowhere.

????: - Something or other THUNDER!!!! (*------ Can you tell I don't know the attack :p*)

Lightning comes out of nowhere making the knightmon and the gostumon fall down…

GOTSUMON: - Whoever did that should watch where they're aiming!

????: - GOTSUMON!!!!

GOSTUMON: - (*Looks up*) wha! (*Sees Kouji on the back of Vritaramon as they fly over da sea*) It's Kouji YAY! My savoir!

KOUICHI: - YAY! Lets do some damage I'm in an extra destructive mood today…

KOUJI: - ^_^;; And that's never a good thing…

KOUJI, KOUICHI, TOMOKI: - SPIRIT EVOLUTION!!!!

WOLFMON: - WOLFMON!

LOWEMON: - LOWEMON!

CHAKMON: - CHAKMON!

LOWEMON: - Whahahahahaha! EAT LIGHTER YOU FOOLS!!!! (*Starts trying to set the knightmon on fire*)

WOLFMON: - Time to bring out my light sabres (*Whips them out of nowhere then whacks the knightmon with it*) MAN! I am DAMN GOOD!

CHAKMON: - (*Freezing a knightmon*) I eat Knightmon Popsicles for DINNER!!!! (*Starts foaming at the mouth*)

VRITARAMON: - Whoa! Chill Chakmon!

CHAKMON: - DON'T TELL ME TO CHILL!!! WHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

BLITZMON: - Yeah…whatever…

FAIRYMON: - I'm just gonna stay here out of the way… and not fight… cos I'm useless…

Suddenly the freaky stone heads explode behind the Gotsumon and LordKnightmon appears…

LORDKNIGHTMON: - Whahahahahaha! Lookie who's here again…

WOLFMON: - Oh damn it…they're so much like Team Rocket they just NEVER go AWAY!

DYNASMON: - (*Smashes a red jewel thing and starts collecting data*) Yeah well we're more successful than Team Rocket… I mean look at us…you haven't even defeated us once yet….

LOWEMON; - Oh come ON we're building up to it…I think…so…ner…(*Pulls a face at the Royal knights*)

FAIRYMON: - (*As the ground beneath them turns to data*) Oh dear…better fly away…

All the digimon go up into the air as the data is completely taken and the Knightmon fall to THEIR IMPENDING DOOM!!!!!

WOLFMON: - You two make me sick…

DYNASMON: - Oh I'm glad we do, thrown up anything nice lately…

WOLFMON: - Oh for the love of…you know what I meant you stupid flashy "Oh look I think I'm such a bad ass when really I'm really in denial that I'm Gay" stupid piece of crap useless excuse for a DIGIMON!

Everyone remains silent…

DYNASMON: - Ouch…that one actually hurt a little bit…

LORDKNIGHTMON: - Anyway enough of the name calling for now it's time for our motto…

FAIRYMON: - (*sighs*) Oh no, not again…

DYNASMON: - Prepare for trouble your losing to us

LORDKNIGHTMON: - So pack up your bags and take the bus….

DYNASMON: - To get all the data that we can

LORDKNIGHTMON: - After that a victory song will be sang

DYNASMON: - Lucemon will soon be right here

LORDKNIGHTMON: - Ruling this world with lotsa fear….

DYNASMON: - Dynasmon!

LORDKNIGHTMON: - I'm Lordknightmon and I have a rose…

DYNASMON: - Standing here in all our glory!!!!

LORDKNIGHTMON: - And that's the end of our little story

VRITARAMON: - You guys are getting SO repetitive an annoying…anyway I have a question…

DYNASMON; - If it's about you and your little lover boy twins I don't want to know…

VRITARAMON; - Actually I wanted to know…if your resurrecting lucemon by getting all this data then what's the point of resurrecting him cos he won't have much of a digital world to rule with pain and darkness after you two have finished…

LORDKNIGHTMON: - Actually that's a good point…

DYNASMON: - Pah! This is an anime kid! Things don't have to make sense…so until we meet again…goodbye… (*They vanish*)

GOTSUMON:- ARGH! THEY DESTORYED MY HOME! Oh…watch out…cos I think I'm gonna faint… (*Falls over*)

WOLFMON: - Quit playing around we gotta go and save what's left of the digital world and…(*pauses*) …Gotsumon…go…gotsumon…(*Pokes him with his lightsaber*)…. Oh dear…

***********************************

GOTSUMON: - (*Opening his eyes*) Augh! Where the flippin' heck am I?

He sees the image of the six chosen children standing over him.

KOUJI: - (*Looking pretty concerned*) Hey! Are you okay?

GOTSUMON: - (*Groaning as he sits up*) Oh man what did I do? I feel like my head got run over by several trailmon then stamped on a few times… (*Looks at the others nervously*)…er…I didn't get drunk and erm…try anything…did I…? Cos I've been told I do that…a lot…

TOMOKI: - Nope you didn't get drunk! ^_^

IZUMI: - Hummm…. But you did call out kouji's name a few times while you were asleep…

JUNPEI: - (*Imitating the Gotsumon*) Kouji…oh Kouji…

GOTSUMON - Hehehehehe! Oh…er…oops ^_^;;

TAKUYA: - (*More to himself than anything*) Humph! Stupid Gotsumon, first Kouichi now him…who else do I have to lose Kouji too…

IZUMI: - (*Puts her hand up*) Er…me…

JUNEPI: - (*Puts his hand up*) Hehehehe…me too…

Neemon proceeds to put his hand up but Bokomon slaps it down making the kangaroo bunny thing sulk…then patamon puts his arm up.

TOMOKI: - What you too patamon…?

PATAMON: - Well if I HAVE to live out my life with you JERKS I might as well have a crush on the only cute guy in the group…

KOUICHI: - HEY! What about me? Lordknightmon said I was delicious looking…

PATAMON: - Oh come on Kouichi he thinks ANYTHING that even slightly resembles a guy is "delicious looking"

KOUICHI: - I'll pretend I didn't here that (*Puts his fingers in his ears and starts singing loudly*) LA LA LAAAA I CAN'T HEAR YOU! LA LAAAA! I'M DELICIOUS! LA LA LAAAAAA…..

PATAMON: - Oh I wish he'd just drop dead… Or better yet I wish I would just drop dead…

GOTSUMON: - Oh man this is going to be a LOOOOONG episode… (*Brings a can of beer out from behind his back opens it and downs it in one, he then starts to walk about wobbling a bit*)…I lovth you KouJI … lovthly little Kouji…wit his pwetty hair…(*Grabs hold of Kouji's leg and starts to hug it tight*)…I'll neverth let you go , KouJI…

KOUJI: - Er…okay… O_o;;

TAKUYA: - ACK! Now why didn't I just try getting drunk and attach myself to Kouji's leg… :p

JUNEPI: - So where are we going now?

BOKOMON: - There won't be many places left to go if you freaks keep messing up (*Whacks Takuya over the head with his green book*)

TAKUYA: - OW! HEY! Why do that just to me?

BOKOMON: - Cos you're the leader asshole! Now where are we going next?

TAKUYA: - Erm…(*Thinks*)… well I'll go on a hunch and say that place Seraphimon died…

PATAMON: - GREAT! I get to go to the place I DIED…(*Thinks*) …hey do you think we could resurrect mercureymon somehow and have him kill me again…? (*Nobody replies*) Well fine…

JUNEPI: - great so we'll just go there then…

KOUICHI: - (*Still singing loudly and is now prancing around the others with his fingers in his ears*) LAAAAAAAA LA LAAAAAAAA! I'M DELICIOUS LOOKING! LA LAAAAAAAAA… ARGH! (*Izumi trips him up and Kouichi lands flat on his face*)…Oh…ow…

***********************************

At Seraphimon's castle…

DYNASMON: - ARGH! DAMNIT! There's a forcefield around it! (*Turns to the knightmon*) Slice through it you fools!

The knightmon try and slice through it but it doesn't work so they start wondering off…

DYNASMON: - HEY! WHERE ARE YOU GOING!?!

KNIGHTMON ONE: - Heh! Ain't working so we're off to the bar to play strip-drinking games…

KNIGHTMON TWO: - (*As they start to walk off again*) Ooooooh! I wonder if that cute Gatomon will be serving again today ^_^

DYNASMON: -_-;; I'm surrounded by idiots…

LORDKNIGHTMON: - Hummm…how about we knock on the force field instead… someone is bound to answer it… OR we could get that lovely little delicious looking boy from that gang of children to help…he seems to know a lot about space stuff…

DYNASMON: - What!?! We're not going to ask our ENEMIES for help you dofus… and how did YOU know he likes space stuff…

LORDKNIGHTMON: - I read his mind ^_^

DYNASMON: - You can DO that!?!

LORDKNIGHTMON: - Oh yeah…. (*Gets uncomfortablely close to Dynasmon*) …and your mind is telling me you'd rather spend a nice candlelit romantic night with me tonight rather than collecting data for Lucemon… what about it, ey Dynasmon-Chan ;) (*growls*)

DYNASMON: - Get any closer and I'll break your neck….

LORDKNIGHTMON: - (*As Dynasmon returns to try and break through the force field*) Oh he loves me really ^_^

From a tree the chosen children are watching the two royal knights closely…

TAKUYA: - Gee those two are way screwed up… (*He looks at Kouichi who's not paying attention and his playing with his star trek figurines…then at Kouji who's trying to pry the Gotsumon off his leg with a crowbar*)… heh reminds me of two others I know…(*Gets his digivice out*)…oh well I guess we'd better hyper spirit evolve and kick their asses….

KOUJI: - ACK! NO!

TAKUYA: - And WHY no?

KOUJI: - Cos we actually need to think up a strategy this time…and…well I wanna get all the glory this time…. Just cos I feel like it…

TAKUYA: - But what about ME I'm the leader I should get SOME credit…

KOUJI: - I'm going alone takuya…

TAKUYA: - Bu…

KOUJI: - And don't argue with me!

TAKUYA: - But pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!!!! (*Pulls a puppy dog face look*)

KOUJI: - Don't you dare try the puppy dogface look on ME Takuya, it may work when you wanna go make out in the bushes or something but it won't work now…

TAKUYA: - DAMNIT!

With that takuya hits the branch he's sat on with his fist making it shake. Kouichi then accidentally drops his Picard figurine, which lands on the floor beneath them.

KOUICHI: - ARGH! TAKUYA! YOU MADE CAPTAIN PICARD JUMP TO HIS DEATH (*As the stick*) And on our honeymoon too…oh well I'll just make out with Riker now (*puts Riker and the stick together and starts making kissing noises*)

GOTSUMON: - It's okay! I'll go and get it for you! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee! (*With that the Gotsumon jumps out of the tree but lands on the ground flat on his face*) Hehehehehe! Getting hurt tickles…

KOUJI: - (*To himself as he shakes his head in disbelief*) Oh just Five more episodes to go after this…just five more to go…(*With that he gets his D-Scanner out*) HYPER SPIRIT EVOLUTION!

MAGNAGARURUMON: - MAGNAGARURUMON!

LORDKNIGHTMON: - Wheeeeeeee! Lookie Dynasmon-Chan we have company (*Claps his hands together*) Should we invite them for tea?

DYNASMON: - (*Groans*) No we fight them stupid… I'll leave that up to you while I continue to break in here…

LORDKNIGHTMON: - Awwwwwwww… breaking and entering is illegal…

DYNASMON: - Well no duh!

TAKUYA: - Okay while Kouji and the drunk Gotsumon keep them busy we need to find a way in to the castle…

KOUICHI: - But breaking and entering is illegal…

TAKUYA: - Oh just shut up (*Whacks Kouichi over the head making him drop the stick and his riker figurine*)

KOUICHI: - ARGH! NO NOW THEY'RE ALL GONE! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS TAKUYA!

Kouichi pounces on takuya knocking him out of the tree (*well it's actually a bush in the actual episode but who cares…I say they're in a tree*) They land on the ground with takuya on top of Kouichi.

KOUICHI: - (*Suddenly changing his tune*) Ooooooh! Takuya I didn't know you cared…;)

TAKUYA: - (*Quickly getting off him*) Man! Weren't you originally supposed to be the straight one…

KOUICHI: - (*Shrugs*) Yeah… but it depends on what mood the author is in…

TAKUYA: - Okay we'd better get to the castle…

Everyone walks off as Kouichi quickly picks up his stick and star trek figurines and follows. They soon get to the castle and the force field.

TAKUYA: - Hummmm…so how do we get in here…

KOUICHI: - (*Touching the forcefield*) Hummm… dunno…this thing is like level 12, very powerful

JUNPEI: - Heh! What do you know…Kouichi finally made a sane comment…

KOUICHI: - (*Whips out a phaser*) Heh! If I set this thing on maximum kill it may blast through it…

EVERYONE ELSE: - ARGH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

All of them suddenly pile on top of Kouichi knocking the phaser from his hands.

KOUICHI: - ARGH! GET OFF ME! YOUR CRUSHING AREAS I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I HAD!!!!

Everyone gets off him and they look at the forcefield again.

IZUMI: - Hey! Maybe KasierGreymon can get through it

TAKUYA: - YEAH!

He holds up his D-Scanner but it suddenly starts glowing.

TAKUYA: - Huh what the…? It shouldn't be doing that…

TOMOKI: - ARGH! IT'S GONNA BLOW UP!!!

Takuya screams like a girl and throws his digivice to the floor, it then explodes creating some very scorched looking chosen children looking quite annoyed.

TAKUYA: - Kouichi…?

KOUICHI: - Yeah…

TAKUYA: - Did you put explosives in my Digivice?

KOUICHI: - ^_^;; Heh yeah!

TAKUYA: -_-;; Great!

KOUICHI: - Well it blasted through the forcefield didn't it?

Kouichi points to a hole, which is now in the forcefield.

TAKUYA: - Yeah…sure…whatever….

So they all wonder in.

*************************************

LORDKNIGHTMON: - (*To MagnaGarurumon*) Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee! I'm so glad we get to fight again!

MAGNAGARURUMON: - Er…yeah…sure… O_o;;

GOTSUMON: - Kick his assth KouJI! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!

MagnaGarurumon then sheds his plane like armour stuff, making the Gotsumon look up at him in amazement.

GOTSUMON: Er…Are we playing strip fighting games now… *hiccup*

MAGNAGARURUMON: - Nah! I'm just gonna try out my new weapon on lordKnightmon…

LORDKNIGHTMON: - (*sniffs and pretends to wipe away a tear from his face*) I'm so honoured ^_^

Just then MagnaGarurmon has some strange Grey thing pop out from a compartment in his arm and when he catches it turns into a new and improved Lightsaber with all the *whoosh, Whoosh* sound effects too… ^_^

GEORGE LUCAS: - (*Standing by one of the camera men off set*) Oh it's so beautiful…

OBI WAN KENOBI: - (*Looking really pissed off*) I don't see why he should of got MY lightsaber…

LORDKNIGHTMON: - (*Getting excited*) Awwwwwwwwww… WOWIE! Where'd you get that! I've been looking for one for AGES!!!

MAGNAGARURUMON: - heh! Came with the outfit…

LORDKNIGHTMON: - If I destroy you…can I get your light saber?

MAGANGARURUMON: - (*shrugs*) Heh! Sure!

LORDKNIGHTMON: - Yipieeeeeee!

***********************************

Back with the other kids…as they enter a chamber…

IZUMI: - So is this where the data is kept?

TAKUYA: - Either that or it's a very shiny closet

JUNPEI: - Huh?

TOMOKI: - What?

KOUICHI: - I want to burn something (*sulks*)

Suddenly there's a large bang as Dynasmon cracks the forcefield.

DYNASMON: - Whahahahaha! I knew that no fancy pants level 12 forcefield could keep me out for long! Cos I am just that good! (*starts to do funky dancing in the sky*) Uh-huh! Uh-Huh! I'm DAMN GOOD! Okay one last attack should do it…

Dynasmon fires his last attack and causes light to fill the room the kids are in, but when it clears they see they're still alive…

TAKUYA: - Hey how come we're still alive…

KOUICHI: - I dunno about you but I think I'm invincible

JUNPEI: - Yeah right!

IZUMI: - Hey look at that

Izumi points to the ghost of sorcerymon who is protecting them.

IZUMI: - It's that funny freaky Sorcerymon

PATAMON: - YAY! He was my very first bitch!

JUNPEI: - Er…yeah…

PATAMON: - And he used to always help me with my dance moves back when I was a happy groovy Seraphimon (*Does "Stayin' Alive" moves*) Ah! Ah! Ah! Stayin' alive! Stayin' Alive! (*sighs*) Now look at me…I'm a flying pig with no groove (*cries*)

GHOST SORCEYMON: - Okay I'm just gonna leave now…

He vanishes.

TAKUYA: - Well that was rude…. He didn't even say "hi"

DYNASMON: - Whahahahaha! Finally I have found the data…

TAKUYA: - You'll have to get through KaiserGreymon first you freaky royalknight thing!

DYNASMON: - You boyfriend is better at insults…

TAKUYA: - Yeah well I'm better at kicking Royal knight butt! HYPER SPIRIT EVOLUTION!

KAISERGREYMON: - KAISERGREYMON!

*********************************

Back with Magnagarurumon and LordKnightmon…

*whoosh, whooosh, whoosh*

MAGNAGARURUMON: - (*Looking at the author who's doing the sound effects*) Nice Lightsaber sound effects…

AUTHOR: - Why thankyou, I've been practising all week ^_^ (*Suddenly starts to hum the Star wars theme*) Da, da da da DA da, Da da da DA da, dadadada…

MAGNAGARURUMON: - Okay that's enough now…

LORDKNIGHTMON: - Join the dark side MagnaGarurumon for I am you father…

MAGNAGARURUMON: - NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (*Pauses*) Wait! No your not…my father is back at home probably sat on the couch wondering who that boy is in all the photos… (*Looks at author*) and that's the second time you done that jo…

AUTHOR: - (*Whacks MagnaGarurumon around the head making him fall to the ground dazed*) Oh stop picking out that I like to repeat myself…silly digimon…

MAGNAGARURUMON: - Ow…

LORDKNIGHTMON: - Oh wheeeeeeeeee! I get to destroy you now…

MAGNAGARURUMON: - Oh great! (*To the author*) Now look what you've done…

AUTHOR: - (*Shrugs and walks off*)

GOTSUMON: - Whaaaa!!! My ickle KouJI is in trouble…I muth helpth him ARRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!! GOTSUMON EVOLVE TOO…

INSEKIMON: - INSEKIMON!!!!

MAGNAGARURUMON: - (*As both he and Lordknightmon look at Insekimon*) What!?! To help me you evolved into a bigger whiter version of YOURSELF!?! That's USELESS!!!

INSEKIMON: - Heh! Whatever… (*Takes another swig from a beer can then collapses unconscious to the floor*)

MAGNAGARURUMON: - Man I have to do EVERYTHING by myself….

*********************************

Back with the others…

IZUMI: - Man I feel so useless not being able to spirit evolve…

KOUICHI: - You're useless anyway….

IZUMI: - WHAT!?! TAKE THAT BACK YOU FREAK!!!

KOUICHI: - (*Giggles*) Freak…

IZUMI: - O_o;; Man he's annoying sometimes…

EVERYONE ELSE: - (*Except Kouichi and Izumi*) SOMETIMES!?!

KOUICHI: - Awwww… man Kaisergreymon is doing squat up there…I'll help him…

With that Kouichi whips out his phaser and fires it into the sky before the others can grab it off them. It narrowly misses both Kaisergreymon and Dynasmon but then they all hear a squawk and a very burnt and dead looking birdramon falls from the sky and lands in front of Kouichi and the others.

KOUICHI: - (*Hides the phaser behind his back*) ^_^;; Oh…erm…ooops…(*Runs off*)

JUNPEI: - Oh well at least we won't go hungry tonight…

DYNASMON: - Ack! Your all boring I'm just gonna get the data now…

And he does just that…

DYNASMON: - (*As he's joined by LordKnightmon*) Until next time freaks… goodbye…

LORDKNIGHTMON: - (*As they fly off*) Now…about that candle light dinner…

*************************************

As the sun sets the kids are boarding a trailmon. Kouji is stood by the door saying by to his little Gotsumon friend.

KOUJI: - So this is goodbye…

GOTSUMON: - Yep…oh and I apologize for being drunk and disorderly…I'm gonna quit drinking right here and now… (*Suddenly he brings a can of beer out from behind his back and starts drinking it*)

KOUJI: - Wait! You just said you've stopped drinking…

GOTSUMON: - Wha? Me don't be silly pretty bunny…

KOUJI: - `Kay…we're going now…

With that the door closes and the trailmon rides off into the sunset.

*********************************

NEXT EPISODE:

TAKUYA: - Fight! Fight! And Fight again…that's all we seem to do and it doesn't get us anywhere….

JUNEPI: - Well at least we planned out a tactic this time…

KOUJI: - But…we still lose…

JUNPEI: - But we PLANNED out a TACTIC!

KOUJI: - But we STILL LOSE!

KOUICHI: - And I find out that I'm a spirit and I'm not really here…. Spoooooooky….

IZUMI: - Great! That's just what we need in addition to his start trek obsession and pyromania…him being a ghost….

KOUICHI: - I RULE!

TOMOKI: - (*Points to Kouichi*) ARGH! I SEE HALF DEAD PEOPLE!!! (*Screams and runs away*)

TAKUYA: - Oh well next time it's "Our silly Tactics get us nowhere! The day Kouichi found out he wasn't really here!" Keep watching or we'll send our pyromaniac ghost after ya!

KOUICHI: - That would be ME (*Looks proud*)

TAKUYA: -_-;; I think they know…

************************************************

Drunken Gotsumon! Got ta love it ^_^ Oh well five more episodes and the show is over…possibly for good… (*Sniff*)…I gotta go…I….I got something in my eye…