Digimon Fan Fiction ❯ +Yama Sutra+ ❯ Infiltration ( Chapter 1 )

Title: YAMA SUTRA

Chapter: One ~ Infiltration

Author: Burned Vamp

Disclaimer: Mine.

Date: March 26th, 2003

Warning: If you STEAL MY IDEA OR my title, I'll put a HEX on you so strong that ... your loved ones won't recognize you from the bowels and entrails in which you'll lay!! Also, M/M love, Yaoi, I might sora bash, I love to do that... Like her, it's just so easy! I love my DD bishies and I love to see them squirm!! ^.^ It's so... delicious. *evil cackle* Cussing. I love to cuss. Just four letter words and no combinations there of. Dammit. No straight out lemon. This is a no NC-17 zone and that would be WRONG. *maddening grin*

*****

Taichi Yagami has been in love with a certain blue-eyed blonde, ever since he could remember. Which was about as far back as when he was 11/12 years old. Since said blue-eyed blonde occupied his thoughts nearly all the time, he hadn't bothered to spend much time remembering any time that didn't involve...

Yamato Ishida. Resident blue-eyed blonde sex god. And the love of Taichi Yagami's life.

Which is what prompted him to write the research paper titled, 'Yama Sutra. The Positions of Yama.' Thus prompting him to remember that research papers require... well... research.

Which brought him, grinning like a mad man, onto Koushiro's doorstep.

Koushiro raised an eyebrow. "No, Tai."

"Awww! Come on!! You don't even know what I'm going to ask!!"

"You're correct. And I'm not even going to wager an assumption. But I am going to tell you 'no.'"

"Hear me out at least!! PLEASE, Kou-koi!?"

Koushiro turned beet red. "Where did you hear that name from?"

"Let's just say the next time Jyou comes to visit you in the middle of study hall, you need to make sure the computer room door is locked." Normally this probably wouldn't phase Koushiro, but the accompanying photographs melted his resolve rather quickly.

"What do you want," he growled out, his glare boring into Tai's thick skull.

"Well, I figured if ANYBODY had a minature camera, it would be my dear friend, Kou-kun!" And up with the maddening grin again.

"Are you going to be engaging in illegal activities?"

"Nooooooo! Well not QUITE illegal, well I don't think it is... possibly.. maybe... but ONLY if I'm caught." At least Tai seemed satisfied with his answer. Koushiro seemed a little skeptical. "At any rate," he continued as he rifled through the pictures and pulling out one VERY interesting one, "I'm pretty sure THIS breaks a few laws somewhere, besides all the laws of physics." Tai stared at the picture then turned it upside down. "And gravity."

Kou smacked his forehead and invited the brunette in.

*****

Phase Two... infiltrating wanted blonde's room and setting up the equipment. Luckily he had blackma--- 'hired' Koushiro to help him out. And thus they were standing on the blonde's doorstep, Tai with his maddening grin, and Koushiro with his look of doom. Luckily, Tai's hair was mostly encompassing Kou's defeatist glazed over expression.

Yamato raised an eyebrow. "Whatever it is, the answer is 'no,' Tai."

"Yaaaaamaaaaaa," Tai ignored his growl, "you don't even know what it is I'm going to ask!"

"Ah, so you DO want something. No."

"PLEASE!?!?!?" When Tai dropped to his knees, Yamato could see Koushiro, who quickly slapped a happy grin on his face.

"You guys are scaring me... Tai! Let go of my leg!"

"Not until you listen to me!!"

"Fine! Get up, get in! Hurry up!" he ushered the two quickly inside, glancing about to make sure no one had witnessed Tai's scene.

"THANK YOU, YAMA!!!"

Tai found one of Yamato's couch pillows thrown to his face, and a scowling blonde when it landed on the floor. Taichi merely gave him the TM'd 'you-know-you-love-me' grin.

"Baka," Yamato muttered. "Would you like anything to drink, 'Shiro?"

"Hey! What about me!?"

"No thank you, Yamato."

"Yama! What about me??"

"What about you? What are you doing here?"

I'm here to set up some surveillance equipment to hopefully catch you in the act of talking to yourself/Takeru or indulging in a bit of self Looooove!

"Tai, stop mumbling! What did you say?"

Koushiro smacked his forehead.

"I said, 'eeek! There's a bug!'"

SMACK! "There... got it."

Taichi rubbed his sore forehead. "Oooowwww Yama-chan!" He glared at his love's triumphant smirk.

"So, Koushiro, what's up?"

"AAAAAHHHH!!! I know nothing!!!!"

Tai made a slashing motion across his neck at the psychotic Koushiro but dropped his arm quick and grinned his grin of the mad man when Yamato turned his suspicious glare on him.

"Okay, someone better spill the beans now!"

Taichi ran up behind Yamato and wrapped his arm around his shoulder, indulding inwardly at the delight of having soft golden hair tickling his arm. He steered him towards the kitchen. "You see, 'Mato mah man... it's like this... um... well... it's kinda embarassing," he giggled as he motioned his partner in crime towards Yamato's bedroom, as the kitchen door closed, cutting the pair off from the living room.

"What is it, Tai," Yama asked, skeptical that anything could be found embarassing by his friend.

"Yeah well, mom's been trying to teach me how to cook, yeah that's it!"

"Oh dear Kami NO!"

"Yeah, she wants Kari and I to start helping out with making dinner. In exchange for a couple of our other chores. And if I don't show her that I know HOW to cook, she's going to take away my weekends to show ME how it's done. You can't let her do that, Yama!!" he shook his friend by the shoulders.

"All right, Tai, knock it off!" He swatted his hands away. "I'll show you a few simple recipes... I have to make dinner tonight anyway. What's with Koushiro though?"

"Oh, him? Uhhhhh well, he's going to help me with some chemistry homework later, and so he came along! Thought maybe you could use some help too!"

"Tai... I took chemistry LAST year. That's the only class you DON'T have with me this year."

"Hey, that's right, how come you don't have it this year?"

"Because unlike YOU, I decided not to take my toughest courses in my senior year."

"Oh yeeeeaaaaaahhhhh...."

"Any rate, let's get started."

"Do I get a pink apron, too?"

Yamato scowled. "No, Tai. Only *I* get the pink apron. YOU get your clothes dirty."

"No fair!"

"Bite me."

KAMI, would I love to!

"What was that?"

Tai poked his head out of the fridge. "I said, 'this hamburger smells like an old shoe,'" he stated, holding up a suspicious looking loaf of ground beef.

And so as Tai and Yama whipped up something edible in the kitchen, Tai trying to delay the process as long as possible, Koushiro bugged Yamato's room. It took him a while to figure out the best place to put the mini microphone and camcorder, but eventually he decided on the rim of the mirror on the wall opposite the bed.

He just hoped that Taichi didn't have time to make copies of those pictures. But at least now he had a birthday present for Jyou.

+++++*****+++++

You're either gonna review or you're not. I'd rather you did, but it's not like I'm holding an update to your head and saying, 'do it now!!!' Although... that DOES bring up some interesting ideas for later chapters....

Anyway, I'm new to the digimon fanfiction world in the ways of writing, but not reading. I've been thoroughly entranced by other writers. Of course, I hear a lot about Empress of the Eclipse and Suicidal frog named bob... and with good reason, they are excellent... I love humor above all other genre's. And I LOVE TAITO!!!!!!!!!!!! Actually I love Yama with just about every male digidestined... JUST about. I WOULD have to say though... that Yamasuke is VERY yummy. Eeeehhh I'm getting off track here....

My coming out of the digiwritingcloset is inspired by such authors like Crysie, Debra, Ashna, Butterflie, Nine, libek, NT, Aero-Grrl, Darth Furby, allekto, and EOTE and SFNB to name just a few of my favorites.

But most especially, I would like to dedicate this fic to a writer who's two digimon stories I've read awhile ago, and have stuck with me. I love her style, her humor. I love her stories. The authoress is Rzrblade33 and the stories are Untouched and Alive (I found was brilliant, and probably my favorite digi story ever) and the other is Hello World (which needs an update.) Both are Yamasuke. Both are beautiful. Hello World just so happens to be funny as hell.

And now, if you're wondering why you aren't on the list above, take this simple test... 1. Did you pair Sora with any of the male digidestined and end it with that pairing happily ESPECIALLY with the two most popular male dd's? Yes? There you have it. Otherwise I might not've found your fic yet... I'm not halfway through the list yet...