Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ All I Ever Needed ❯ It's Dark, It's Dark, and I'm Sorry ( Chapter 4 )

Chapter 4: It's Dark, It's Dark, and I'm Sorry

 

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““--it hurts, Haru, please—"

He closed his eyes and tried to focus only on the present

"It's dark, it's dark, and I'm sorry...""

 

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-History, Like Love

Chapter 6: In the Darkness of November

By: Ysabet MacFarlane

 

 

“Have you considered adoption as an option, Ms…uh…?” The man trailed off as he picked up the clipboard that was resting on the desk. The strawberry-blonde haired tough looking woman reached across the desk, and snapped the clipboard back down to the desk.

“My parents don't want me havin' their name and I don't want it. My name's Kyoko, and that's it.” She gave the man an icy glare.

“Okay…Kyoko-san. But have you considered adoption? I mean, no one will think less of you if you chose abortion, but we're just asking you to consider. If you give birth to the child, we can find it a happy home with loving family. If you choose to give your child up for adoption, we promise you, we will make sure that it has a safe, loving home.” Kyoko was silent for a moment, staring into space, but was silent for a long time, but then:

“And what if I decide to keep the baby?” The man's eyes sparked, but then dimmed down, as if trying to shove down his enthusiasm. Kyoko caught it. They don't care at all.

“That would be another choice, Kyoko-san.”

“I was just testing,” she said, and the man's face fell. They just want to get rid of me, so they don't have to deal with the kid. “I don't remember who the father was. Wasn't in my gang anyway,”

“Gang…?” the man whispered. Kyoko waved it away.

“But it was a mistake, anyhow, and frankly I really don't want a kid at this point in my life.”

“We understand completely.” The man said, readjusting his glasses, as if straightening out his affairs in his head. Then the man looked her straight in the eye. “Are you sure you want to have an abortion?” Kyoko thought. They'd give the kid a nice home, with loving parents (something she'd never had). They'd make sure it got an education, and a good life. If she aborted it, it would be over. Kyoko sighed and answered:

“I've decided.” The man seemed to lean in to hear her conclusion. “I've decided to give it up, so it can have the chance at a good life I never got.” The man nodded.

“I have to say, that's the best choice someone in your circumstances could have made. Though we will need your parent's signatures, since you are a minor…”She gritted her teeth, and the man sighed. “They don't know yet, do they?”

“And I don't intend them to know. Please? Is there someway around it where I don't have to tell them? They already hate me as it is.” The man sighed again.

“No, I'm afraid there's nothing I can do about that. You'll have to tell them.” Kyoko sighed.

“I'll just have to deal with it then.”

“All right.” The man thrust some papers at her, and asked her to sign, and she did as he explained everything to her.

Someone in my circumstances… Kyoko gritted her teeth. Everyone always looks down on me. This guy, my parents, teachers, everyone! And I'm sick and tired of it! If I didn't care about the kid, I wouldn't be here at all. I'm only here for my child. Kyoko looked up and the man and he gave her a questioning glance. My child…

Kyoko shook her head. It's my child, but it's going to grow up with someone else who can take care of it properly.

“Can I go see it someday?” The man looked up at her in surprise.

“Excuse me?”

“Can I go to visit it someday when it's older?” The man looked down and readjusted his glasses once more.

“We can arrange to have the parents contact you in a number of years, yes. That is, if they are willing, and your child is also willing to meet you.” Kyoko glanced over at the small window. She was sixteen. Was giving a kid up for adoption. Providing what the world thought of her already, they would just use this as another reason to look down on her. Everyone except Sensei. Honda was his name. Though she wasn't about to tell him. This would be her secret to keep for the rest of her life.

“Kyoko-san?” Kyoko snapped back.

“Uh, yes?”

“You do get to name the child if you'd like.” The man said.

“…name?” She repeated, dazed.

“Yes, the new parents may change it if they choose to, but you can still name it, and there is a chance that the new parents will keep the name you've chosen. So I suppose, given how far along you are…” he paused, his eye flicking to her stomach, the roundness almost concealed by the very baggy shirt she was wearing, then back up to her face, “…you might want to start thinking about it.”

Kyoko stood up from the chair.

“Is that all?” she asked

“For today,” the man answered. “And again, I do say that you've made a very wise choice for you child's future.” Kyoko nodded, shook hands with the man, and walked out of his office.

My child's future…

* * *

A child's cry pierced the midnight air of the hospital room.

“Congratulations, Ms. Kyoko, ma'am!” One of the nurses exclaimed in a tired, but enthusiastic voice. “You'd given birth to beautiful, healthy baby boy!”

“What does he look like?” Kyoko rasped, her throat very dry.

“Brown hair, blue eyes and a little button nose. Oh, he's so cute!”

“Can I hold him?” Kyoko whispered exhaustedly.

“Of course.” The nurse said excitedly, and handed Kyoko the baby wrapped in soft white blankets. When Kyoko took it, the baby stopped crying immediately. She pulled the blankets away from the baby's head and looked into the face, and whispered to him:

“You just came into the world and I already love you. I sorry you won't get to know me that much, but I'll come visit you someday when you're older, and I'll love you every day until then and from then on and for the rest of my life.”

“Ms. Kyoko, ma'am?” The nurse said, stepping tentatively forward. Kyoko looked up at her and nodded with an expression that said, “Yes?”.

“Have you decided on a name yet?” Kyoko looked down at her baby, and then looked back up at the nurse.

“Yes. His name will be Kunimitsu.”

* * *

“Tohru!” Kyo shouted out into the rainy darkness. He'd been out there for an hour, and still no trace of her. “Tohru! Where are you?!” Despair started to fill him to the core when the worst case scenario resurfaced for the third time, before he smashed it down deep inside him once more. That can't happen, he thought, it won't! It can't happen! I haven't told her yet! I haven't told her anything! It can't happen when she still doesn't know…

His mind raced, matching the speed of his legs as they sped desperately through the murky woods. A tree branch shot out of no where and scratched his cheek. He ignored the instant stinging pain as he pressed on.

I have to find her, and tell her everything. I promise! He prayed his bargain. If I find her, and she's okay, I promise I'll tell her everything.

“I promise!” he whispered harshly to the shady tree shapes that whipped past as he ran. “I promise I'll tell her everything!”

The he raced past the trees, scanning the landscape ahead of him and beside him, for any trace of a human.

“Tohru!” he shouted, and then had to stop, placing his hands on his knees for support and breathing heavily. “Tohru…please…” he whispered to the trees “please be okay…”

* * *

“Mom…” Tohru wandered around the pitch black void she was in, her mother's voice echoing around her. “Mom, where are you?” She would catch a flicker of movement in the corner of her eye, but when she would turn to see what it was, it would disappear entirely.

Am I dreaming? The thought had crossed her mind twice, but she'd ignored it, the drive to find her mother in the darkness stronger than common sense right now.

“Mom?” Tohru called.

“She's gone, Tohru…” an undistinguishable voice whispered.

“No!” Tohru cried. “It can't be! She was just here a minute ago!”

“I- I want to go see him. I wanna go see Katsuya…”

“No! Don't say such things. Don't go away like Dad… Don't give up. Please…don't leave…I still need you…I still- I still-”

“No matter what, I'll always love you, Tohru…”

“I still love you, Mom, and it hurts!”

* * *

“Mom!” A voice echoed through the trees. “Mom, where are you?”

“Tohru?” Kyo barely allowed the word to escape his lips. “Tohru?” his voice rose a bit.

“No! It can't be, she was just here a minute ago!”

“Tohru!” Kyo said, following her voice up the trail. Crunch! Kyo looked down, and saw he had stepped on some sort of thing in a package. He couldn't tell what, the wrapper was too covered in mud. He looked up the trail, and saw all manner of groceries scattered through the mud. He ran.

“No! Don't say such things. Don't go away like Dad…”

There she was. Lying in the mud, soak through to the bone.

“Tohru!!” Kyo cried and ran to her side, and grabbed her hand. She was as cold as ice. He placed a hand on the back of her neck, trying to warm her up without actually embracing her. He would be no help to her then.

“Don't give up. Please…don't leave…I still need you…I still- I still-”

Despite the rain, the mud, and the tracks of water that were undoubtedly tears not rain, she was still as beautiful as ever, but her face was pinched in an expression of pain.

“I still love you, Mom, and it hurts!” The cry startled Kyo, as Tohru broke down into sobs, her whole body shaking tiredly. Kyo could feel her muscles quivering. She'd pushed herself to the brink of exhaustion. He placed a hand on her forehead, and then jerked it away as if he had been bitten. In extraordinary contrast to the rest of her body, her forehead was burning up. She had a serious fever!

“Tohru,” he said, straightening up a bit, and looking around into the shadowy trees. “It's gonna be all right,” He pulled her closer, but not close enough to set off the curse. “It's gonna be all right.”

“I'm so cold…” she sobbed almost inaudibly.

“I know…” Kyo rubbed his thumb across the back of her hand. “I know, just hold on.”

“It's dark…It's so dark…” she said, her eyebrows furrowing as another round of tears sped down her cheeks. Kyo wiped her eyes as best he could, after pushing the dripping strands of hair from her face.

“Shh…I know…” he repeated before stroking her cheeks; burning with fever, the only comfort he could give her now.

“It's dark, it's dark, and I'm sorry…”

 

End of Chapter 4:

“It's Dark, It's Dark, and I'm Sorry”

 

A/n: Okay, revise that. This was the most fun to write so far! ^_^ they get better and better as I get further into the story! Again with the title swapping. But I'm not going to tell you the alternate titles this time, because I'm going to use them later in the story, so you'll just have to guess. ^_^ anyway. I hope you're enjoying yourself. This story has given me writing fever! I wrote the last half of chapter three yesterday, and I wrote this entire chapter today! (Wooow …I need to get a life!) …but anyway. The main plot of the story is starting to come out, and we're getting into the meat of the story. So join me next chapter! Bye! ^_^

 

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