Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Easily Broken ❯ Desperate Pleas Of The Weak ( Chapter 3 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

I don't know why I allowed myself to be so weak in front of him. He managed to carefully pull me from my protective shell, piece by piece. To say at the very least, I hate myself more for it. I know that things will eventually change. And for the worse. If I allowed myself to be vulnerable and open, the more pain would be in store for me. I really believe it is better for me to continue my terrible rain, even if for just a few days. A change now would be devastating.
If I had already made up my mind, then tell why it is I've let Shigure continue to hold me. He still held on tight for dear life, and my tears had slowed by such affectionate contact. I burned with hatred now more than ever. I was allowing him power over me. By just this one simple action, he had managed to turn this whole situation upside down. My weakness was visible and now easy to access. With a role of the tongue to form a hurtful sentence, I could be brought to my knees. Yet, at the same time, I am relieved to have opened up even just a little bit. I now had a shoulder to cry on and a friend to depend on. Despite my liking, it was true. I, the forever destined lone wolf, had a friend and an amazing one at that. Why is it such a situation as given me both joy and sorrow? In the words of my ancestors, such circumstances are considered...bittersweet.
I had drained myself of tears and had grown tired and woozy. Without warning, those same safe hands that had brought me to self-realization, had so carefully pulled me down and laid me across the floor. It was certainly a first for me; my head was securely settled on soft, smooth legs. A new experience; having my head on another's lap as he calmly stilled my violent tears with tender strokes of shoulder length black hair. If not for Shigure's serene aura, I would have never drifted to sleep so easily. The first time I had cried myself to sleep...and it wasn't spent alone. My steamed thoughts had dissipated with gentle caressing of my hair. So I spent that night of first tears, with peaceful dreams in the end.
What is it that causes a man to change his whole out look on life in such quick time, without warning of this inevitable change? I have never been good at literature, so it would take me years to find the actually term. So in a brief one word summary I will call it...Shigure.
My mother; I am reminded of him every time I look into Shigure's soft brown eyes. But unlike my mother, Shigure held me. There were times in my youth, I sort my mother's comfort, but never were there times she assured me it would be okay. I loved my mother, regardless of her absence. I tried to understand why she avoided affectionate contact with me. And I eventually found out one day...
"Mother..." I pleaded seeking her warm hand in mine. I haven't seen her all day, and I merely wanted to see the kind expression on her face that told me...'I'm here for you'. So I searched the many wings of the endless dwelling, but found it hard to spot her out when every hallway looked the same as the one collected to it. Eventually I heard her voice shyly conversing with a stranger. She was in the large study accompanied by my father, who held a stern look.
Not wanting that hateful glare directed to me, I didn't enter the room. I cracked the door slightly open, just so I could see them with one eye. I had never seen the man they were talking to. But by the familiarity with him, I guessed he was a Sohma. He had short blonde hair and cold blue eyes that spoke submissive evil. I quickly learned from their conversation, the history of the Sohma curse. I had known about the curse and simply ignored it, thinking it had nothing to concern me. I was born with the ability to change into an animal when hugged by the opposite sex. But I was terribly wrong, for that day I found out exactly how I was greatly connected to this curse.
"I take it your son is seven now." The blonde remarked seriously. My father nodded in response. "Seeing how he roams the house like he's an explorer, I expect you didn't tell him." Tell me what? My mother nodded remorsefully and held a frantic tear. "Are you sure it is wise? The longer you wait the more uncooperative he'll be."
"You can't expect me to be eager to tell my only son he will die for the good of the Sohmas so carelessly, do you?" My mother said rashly with a glare.
At hearing this my eyes widened and my face burned with fear and sadness. This must be a joke! They probably know I'm eavesdropping and doing this for my being nosy. This can't be true! It can't be!
I had lost all common sense, and strutted into the room. All eyes quickly darted toward me in shock. If they knew I was listening, then why do they look so surprised? Unless...they really meant it... "Die?" I repeated shakily. I looked at my mother for assurance, but received nothing more than watery amber eyes much like my own. "Mother?" I shivered when she turned her look to the floor.
"Akito...don't be...angry with me..." She said painfully.
I shake my head viciously and make a run for the door. I rushed down the hallway and kept till I found an abandoned storage room. Quickly, shutting myself inside, I sat in the corner, hugging my knees and cried desperately. Nothing could heal this new found pain, nothing! It all became clear to me. Why mother never held me close like I've seen other parents do. It'd hurt too much...to become attached to a worthless cause. So why is it I feel...betrayed.
"Mother..." I cry pathetically, alone as it was to be the story of my life. Why did it have to be this way? I don't understand! Just kill me now...and end this pain!
"Akito..." I hear a frail voice say my name fearfully. I look from my pitiful position, and am surprised to see someone there. Someone had found me...but why? It was a small boy, slightly older than me. He was shaking nervously, clutching his small, delicate hands together. His sooth, curious brown eyes watched me intensely. His black hair was only at his ears, but I could tell it would eventually grow down to his shoulders.
"What do you want?!" I rushed to my feet, quickly wiping the tears from my eyes. "Who are you?!"
He just stared at me. Tears much like mine collected in the corner of his eyes. Why was he crying?! Was it for me? Was it pity for me? But I don't need his pity! I don't! I don't need his or anyone else's! I don't need anybody! He looked down painfully and smiled. "I'm sorry...my name's Shigure Sohma..." He glanced back at me. "Will you allow me to be your friend?" He asked cheerfully, though there was still grief and sorrow behind his gentle eyes.
I glowered at him and walked toward the door. Standing right beside him, "I don't need a friend." And like that I left. Back then I hadn't realized exactly how serious he was. He was persistent. He tried countless times to earn my trust. And without knowing, I had finally gave it to him. He was and always will be my only friend.
Of course I still dispise him. He was a Sohma, one with the curse. So he would go under the catorgory of people I must die for. Why is it I must die for the stupid Sohma curse?! I'm sure any other person would be safist enough.
It hurt so much to wake from what I had hoped to be a dream. Even if I had manage to slip away from the truth as I slept, it would always return with more suffering the moment my eyes lifted from their peaceful slumber. It all seemed like an unrealistic dream...finding out my fate...and being held in the arms of another. It seem so impossible. A dream out of reach. I know it happened...but my heart refused to believe such things were possible. How could anyone care for someone like me? Just the thought of having his arms around me, made me quiver.
He must have been disgusted to have had to comfort me. I can feel his unwillingness to embrace such a revolting monster, only out of pity and duty, had he did so. If I had not been so important, he would toss me aside without another thought. If I had been any other person...he would have ignored me. I know it...he had to be appalled by me. I am simply a lost cause, a hopeless spirit, a sickening creature, looking for a reason. I wouldn't blame him if he ignored me like my parents...like everyone else.
He had left before I awoke, not like I'd expect anything else. This was merely his display of great pity for me and yet...I felt more from his words.
"It's okay Akito, it's okay. Because you don't have to be alone anymore. We can hope together..."
I hear his voice in my head repeatedly. And it aches to think of those words meaning. Is there any truth to this, or just selfless pride backing them up?
I don't know what to do or say now. If I am to see him again...I don't know how I should act. Would he acknowledge my weakness and tease me or will he thoughtlessly pretend it never happened. It would be better that way. To forget...to pretend nothing had changed. It would make life all that more easy to face. If I confront him...I know it will only end in pain.
"Shigure?" There was no response, so Tooru repeated herself. "Shigure." She replied more loudly than before. But like her other calls, this one was ignored as well. "Shigure!" She said finally, raising her voice just enough not to draw other attention besides her original target.
"Huh? Oh, Tooru..." Shigure spoke shyly, slightly embarrassed by his unresponsive state. Giving a phony smile, he laughed to himself. "Sorry about that, I was just-"
"Daydreaming." Kagura growled in frustration, walking into the room with a frown. "What's with you today? Ever since you got back late last night, your head has been in the clouds. What happened at Akito's?" She questioned inquisitively, her right brow raising in suspicion.
His head quickly fell, merely daggling from his neck as a pained sadness illuminated from him. "I don't really know myself. I guess I did something really stupid back there...and now I'm worried about the consequences. Akito is going to have to face me eventually, but I don't know what to say when he does."
Not quit getting Shigure's words, Kagura leaned in closer for better understanding. "What did you do? Knowing Akito, he's just going to ignore you if he's offended."
"I don't think he can..." He sighed remorsefully and smiled weakly, looking back at Kagura and Tooru. "Instead of leaving this up to him, I might as well make the first move." Standing up from the chair he sat in to enjoy a wonderful breakfast, prepared by Tooru for them both, Shigure headed for the door.
"I still didn't get an answer." Kagura groaned unsatisfying. "How can I help him if he won't even let me in on this secretive meeting?"
"Just let it go, Kagura." Tooru said cheerfully. "I sure Shigure is just embarrassed with being around Akito. He certainly goes over there enough. I'm sure they're getting along." She smiled, causing Kagura to sigh in defeat.
"I hope you're right, Tooru. I hope you're right."
Timid, shaky hands clutched into protective fist, pressing hard into the floor boards. A fearful voice stuttered an almost inaudible request. "W-we h-humbly ask if y-you would..." And gathering what like strength he possessed, he hurriedly finished, "allow us to marry!" Such a brief moment of courage had quickly pasted as I delivered a severe glare to the nervous man before me. It had token all of his power to not run if fear of my deadly look, yet he had failed to contain the uneasy shivering. I stood from my spot on the lonesome floor and stared coldly down at the man in his quivering obsession.
"Do you know what you ask of me?" I asked eerily, a frown remained on my emotionless face.
He bowed his head, so that it met with his knees to the floor and anxiously spoke again. "Forgive me for my boldness, but-"
I hadn't given him the time to finish before I had so quickly clutched into his throat with my pale hands. I jerked him from the ground, placing now two faint colored, skinny hands around his thick throat. I let him squirm in my grasp as my grip tightened with ease. Terror rose in his eyes, as my sadistic smirk reflected in them. He was more amusing than I thought he would be. He grunted and gasped for fear that I would squeeze the life out of him. But I would never...allow him to get away that easily. It would be so much more enjoy to watch him live a pathetic life knowing he could never be with the one he loved. Just like all the rest...I would make him fear to love. Only them will I be satisfied with my hunger for equity. He must suffer as I have.
"Please, let him go!" The cowering woman behind him exclaimed, tears flowing from her hazel eyes. It pained her more so, to see me treat him this way. But it is their punishment for requesting such things. I ignored her simple pleas and swung the man violently to the floor, kicking him in the ribs just as soon as he hit the ground. "No! Stop it!" She cried, jumping to his side, throwing her body over his in a pathetic attempt to shield my vicious beatings.
I smirked wickedly, enjoying her resistance to move when I demanded it. It would only make the punishment more fun. I reached over and pulled the girl up by the hair, her loud frail screams echoed in the small contained room. I would have thrown her across the room and returned to kicking the man, but the door came flying open the very next moment.
"Akito!"