Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction / Saiyuki Reload Fan Fiction / Saiyuki Reload Gunlock Fan Fiction ❯ Episode1: Truly,Madly,Deeply ❯ Chase ( Chapter 20 )

XX. CHASE / OVERTURE

 

In which the ikkou capitulate, after a lot of internal struggle, and thanks to a very well-aimed pillow from the innocent, candid Goku. They retrace their steps to go after “that damn water cockroach” so they can “kill him” for causing them so much trouble. Meanwhile, a very *sexy* kappa with stubble on his jaw steps up to the entrance of the shrine. “You'd *better* be ready, kami-sama…”

 

 

A.

 

Jeep. Hakuryu carries three. Hakkai wears an anxious face. Goku looks sad. Sanzo sits stony. Goku casts a sorrowful look at the empty space beside him.

 

“Maa, hara—“ Goku begins.

 

“—hetta? Poor monkey. Here. I saved you some pancakes from breakfast.” Sanzo turns from the front seat, offering the food to Goku with an encouraging smile.

 

Goku's eyes bulge. He cowers back in his seat, legs coming up to lean as far back as possible. “H-Hakkai?” Goku stammers, sliding terror-filled eyes to the healer.

 

Hakkai glances sideways at Sanzo and shrugs. “Can't be helped, Goku. The clinical term for it is denial.”

 

“I didn't *hear* that,” Sanzo grins through clenched teeth.

 

“Exactly,” Hakkai reiterates.

 

Sanzo takes a deep breath. Goku yelps and covers his head. Even Hakkai cringes a little, expecting the harisen to land on him for the first time.

 

Sanzo exhales. “Ten… nine… eight…” he counts, taking deep, steadying breaths.

 

Hakkai's eyes widen. “This is bad. B-A-D,” he murmurs in a worried voice.

 

“Kyuuu…”

 

Goku whimpers.

 

 

B.

 

-FLASHBACK-

 

“Nani?! Gojyo is *missing*?!” cries Goku. “Let me guess. He went after that weirdo, didn't he?”

 

“Probably.” Hakkai slides worried eyes to Sanzo. “Let me ask, just in case. What do we do, Sanzo?”

 

Sanzo crushes the note in his hand, and lights a cigarette. He drags deeply before replying. “I don't care. We leave at noon,” he forces out through the lump in his throat.

 

Hakkai shakes his head. “I knew you'd say that.”

 

Goku objects. “Nanda to?! Are you *really* just going to turn your back on your pumpkin pie?!”

 

“'Ch. He left me first.”

 

“That's because you broke up with him!” Goku says hotly.

 

“What are you defending him for, anyway?!” Sanzo glares. “I thought you hated his guts! You two do nothing but quarrel!”

 

“I *don't* hate his guts! He's my quarrelling buddy!” Goku declares, his lower lip quivering. “He's annoying, but in a good way! The day doesn't feel *right* unless he pisses me off!”

 

“You're certainly full of oxymorons,” Hakkai comments.

 

“Who are you calling a moron?!” Goku scowls, nudging up his diadem the tiniest bit.

 

Hakkai raises his eyebrows, and reaches up to finger his power limiters too.

 

“'Ch.” Sanzo ignores them, instead handing Hakuryu the AnEx card with instructions to but two bottles of cognac and five packs of Marlboro. “And don't loiter, either! There are *no* chocolates in bars, you got that?!”

 

“Kyuuu…” Head bowed, Hakuryu hurries on her errand. Sanzo knocks over a number of cans by the kappa's bedside until he finds one that's half-full. He ignores the monkey throwing a tantrum on the other bed, and the healer trying to reason with him. He throws his head back and guzzles the tepid beer, then collapses back on Gojyo's bed to wait for the dragon's return.

 

 

C.

 

“This town is quiet,” comments Hakkai, busily perusing his shopping list.

 

“Aa,” rumbles Sanzo distractedly.

 

“Oh! I found an octopus shop!” Goku yells excitedly.

 

THWAK!

 

“Don't shout in my ear, bakazaru!” Sanzo growls, clutching his temple.

 

“Itte itte itte…” Goku mutters. “It's not *my* fault if you have a raging hangover…”

 

“U-ru-sei…!”

 

 

D.

 

Lunch at the restaurant.

 

Goku gives a satisfied sigh, holding his stomach. “I haven't eaten a meal like this in a *long* time!”

 

“Well,” Hakkai replies, “you had no one to fight over it.”

 

Twitch.

 

“Quit rubbing it in, dammit!” Sanzo snarls. He clamps a cigarette to his lips and fumbles. “OI! Lighter!” he barks.

 

Awkward pause.

 

“Er…”

 

“Ahahaha…”

 

“FUCK!!!” Sanzo yells, crushing the cigarette. CRASH! He pushes the chair back roughly and stomps out.

 

“*Somebody's* at the breaking point…”

 

“Uh-huh…”

 

 

E.

 

“I'd say we've come halfway,” Hakkai says. The map is spread before them on the table.

 

“Aa. Unless there's any unnecessary trouble, there's no problem at all,” Sanzo replies dully.

 

“Riiiiight…” Hakkai rolls his eyes, then fans the air furiously. “Don't you think you're smoking too much?”

 

“So open a goddamn window!” Sanzo snarls, glaring. “Coffee!” he barks, banging his mug impatiently.

 

“Yare yare… the best cure for alcohol overindulgence is lots of water and sleep,” Hakkai clucks.

 

“Urusei! I *can't* sleep, alright?!”

 

“Well no *wonder*, this is your third pot!” Hakkai scolds.

 

“Eh, he's missing his *pillow*, that's what it is…” Goku mumbles.

 

“Say that again, bakazaru…” Sanzo growls dangerously.

 

“I SAID you miss your cupcake!” Goku yells defiantly. “Why don't we just go and bring him back anyway?!”

 

“You impertinent ape! I don't give a *shit* about a selfish bastard who goes missing by himself!”

 

“Oh, why don't you speak honestly for once!” Hakkai chides. “Honesty is the most important factor in a loving relationship, that's what Dr. Phil says…”

 

“I thought it was *trust*, Hakkai?” Goku inquires.

 

“That too…”

 

“Grrr…” Sanzo trembles, teeth and fists clenched.

 

“Ne… Let's go find Gojyo,” Goku insists.

 

Twitch.

 

“Don't *say* that name, bakazaru!”

 

“Why NOT?!”

 

“Because… hrrr… because I MISS HIM, dammit!”

 

“Progress at *last*,” Hakkai sighs.

 

“Urusei! Mind your own business! If that goddamn bastard thinks he's going to replace me with that deluded copycat, he's got another think coming…”

 

CRASH! The youkai barge in.

 

“Ha! Sanzo-ikkou! We're under direct orders from Her Royal Creepiness! Today, we take your lives, and the sut—“

 

BANG-BANG-BANG!

 

“NA-nani?!” the spokesman sputters.

 

Goku smiles grimly. “Let me tell you, Sanzo is in a *really* bad mood right now…”

 

“Yup,” Hakkai adds. “Hell hath no fury like a kappa-deprived, insanely jealous Sanzo…”

 

 

F.

 

Forest. Gojyo sprawls by the riverbank. “Harahetta…” he murmurs. He plucks a grass stem and chews on it. The *sunshine* glitters and refracts on the water, blinding him. He swallows convulsively. He leans back, and the sweet scent of *buttercups* assail his nose. He winks hard. Then he snaps off a bloom. “He loves me, he loves me not…”

 

G.

 

“Was this mountain's entrance like this before?”

 

“Iie. The forest wasn't this thick.”

 

“But there's no mistake it was here. We'll know once we're inside. Ikuzo!” Goku plunges into the bushes. “Yaaahhhhh!!!!!”

 

“—Aaaahhhh!” Goku emerges from the brambles. He blinks.

 

“Hrum, hoom! Very odd indeed, my young hobbits! *Very* odd!” rumbles the huge, tree-like creature. “Here, it seems, is another one of you! And a very *hasty* one, I might add!”

 

Goku stares into two impish, cheerful faces. “Sonna…” he breathes, awed.

 

“He seems *familiar*, Merry,” says one of the creatures.

 

Merry elbows him. “Of course he does, silly! Don't you remember, Pippin? Sam told us he'd stumbled on this fellow a few chapters ago.”

 

“That's right!” Pippin's face lights up. “How do you do, mate?”

 

Goku shakes hands all round, still dazed.

 

“…And this is Treebeard,” Merry introduces. “He has the most *amazing* drink - it will make your hair curl!”

 

“Ah, n—no, thanks,” Goku mumbles.

 

“How come you're in Middle Earth anyway?” Pippin asks.

 

“Did you lose your master again?” Merry puts in.

 

“Well…” Goku scratches his head. “Actually, we lost my master's pumpkin pie…”

 

“Eh?” Treebeard furrows his already wrinkled forehead.

 

Pippin smacks his lips. “Ah, pumpkin pie…” he sighs.

 

Merry scoffs. “You and your sweet tooth! Bacon and mushrooms are the best!”

 

Pippin nods. “Yes, yes!”

 

“You guys ever tasted sukiyaki? Or shabu-shabu?” Goku contributes eagerly.

 

Up in Tenkai, Jiroushin sweatdrops. “We really ought to do something about that breach between dimensions…”

 

“'Ch,” Kanzeon Bosatsu drawls lazily, “let the Valar take care of it…”

 

Below…

 

“Goku? Goku!!!!”

 

“Bakazaru…”

 

H.

 

“Yaaahhhh!!!” Goku emerges from the thicket. He is back in the forest with Hakkai and Sanzo. Goku blinks. “Are?!” he turns around and crashes into the bushes again. Repeat. On the third try, Sanzo grabs his cape.

 

“That's ENOUGH!” Sanzo barks. Then his eyes narrow. He sniffs Goku suspiciously. “Oi. Bakazaru. You smell like beer and tobacco,” he growls, purple eyes snapping.

 

“Hmm…” Hakkai sniffs too. “Actually he smells like old-fashioned English Ale and *pipeweed*,” the healer corrects. “And look… his hair is curly, too.”

 

“What have you been up to?!” Sanzo demands.

 

Goku giggles. “Ah… Hehehe…”

 

 

I.

 

“Anyway, a psychic physical attack should break the psychic barrier!” Sanzo declares. He strikes a pose and fires three shots into the trees.

 

Arrows hail back at them. They bump heads, diving for cover. Hakkai casts a force field at the last minute. When the dust settles…

 

Sanzo, Hakkai and Goku look up and encounter a white-robed, silver-haired, gray-bearded, wizened old man. He taps his staff impatiently.

 

“FOOLS!” Gandalf hisses. “Guns and bullets are *not* allowed! We fight with swords and bows and arrows and catapults!”

 

“Er…” Saruman taps Gandalf's shoulder.

 

“Right… occasionally with magic, too.”

 

The rest of the cast of LOTR peep over the wizards' shoulders. Goku waves weakly. Hakkai stares. Hakuryu hides behind Hakkai.

 

Sanzo gets up, unimpressed. He brushes himself off. “Where's Legolas?” he demands. “Step forward!”

 

Legolas steps forward with a haughty look. “Yes?”

 

Sanzo looks him up and down approvingly. “You'll do,” he declares.

 

“Sanzo?!” Goku and Hakkai gasp. “What about Goj—“

 

Sanzo ignores them. He announces to the disdainful elf: “I'm taking you to Lirin.”