Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction / Saiyuki Reload Fan Fiction / Saiyuki Reload Gunlock Fan Fiction ❯ Episode1: Truly,Madly,Deeply ❯ Go Ahead ( Chapter 24 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Befanini 
The demented result of an overactive imagination. The *secret* Saiyuki love affair you didn’t see… Behind the scenes of Reload. Here we go again…
Anime/Manga: Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction / Saiyuki Reload Fan Fiction / Saiyuki Reload Gunlock Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Adventure / Comedy / Romance | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 09.01.2005 | Updated On: 10.02.2005 | Pages: 8 | Words: 5.3K | Visits: 452 | Status: Completed
The demented result of an overactive imagination. The *secret* Saiyuki love affair you didn’t see… Behind the scenes of Reload. Here we go again…
Anime/Manga: Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction / Saiyuki Reload Fan Fiction / Saiyuki Reload Gunlock Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Adventure / Comedy / Romance | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 09.01.2005 | Updated On: 10.02.2005 | Pages: 8 | Words: 5.3K | Visits: 452 | Status: Completed
XXIV. GO AHEAD / REMATCH
In which the stubborn ikkou return to Kami-sama's castle for another helping of brutal red beads. But first they get to “have fun” experiencing all the “attractions”.
A.
The ikkou stand outside the closed doors. A voice startles them from inside. “Sumimasen! Please be advised that this is strictly a non-smoking zone! And guns are *not* allowed either! Arigatou gozaimasu…”
The ikkou flatten themselves on either side of the doors, Goku and Hakkai on one side and the kappa and the priest on the other.
Gojyo snickers. “If cigarettes and guns aren't allowed inside, then I guess Sanzo-sama can't go in…”
“I don't care! It's *your* problem too!” Sanzo retorts. Then he grins. “Well, since both of us can't enter, I guess we just have to keep ourselves *busy* while those three bring back the sutra…” Sanzo jerks his head to the direction of Hakkai, Goku and Hakuryu.
“Ooh, I *like* that idea!” Gojyo waggles his eyebrows.
Goku is ready to pounce the naughty lovers, but Hakkai holds him back.
“Oi!” Hakkai calls to the wickedly grinning duo. “Make sure you make the *most* of it, then, coz I'll be renting us all just ONE room from now on, hai?” Hakkai smiles innocently.
“SPOILSPORT!” Gojyo sticks his tongue out.
“'Ch.”
B.
“Minna! Welcome to Neverneverland!” the two-headed freak gaily shouts to the ikkou. “You are our 48th group of customers! Please refrain from smoking inside the premises! No guns allowed!”
Sanzo and Gojyo yawn boredly.
“Also, no *PDAs* allowed, onegai shimasu! Or the Master will be offended…”
Sanzo glares. Gojyo sweatdrops. And then the doll turns to Goku.
“No—“
“Matte!” Hakkai cuts in quickly. “Don't—“
“--*pets* or children allow—“
BONK!
Goku bops the two-headed dolly over the head, smashing it. Goku cups a hand to his ear mockingly. “No WHATS allowed?” he asks sweetly. But the heap of rubbish on the floor doesn't answer. Instead, Hakuryu gives Goku a grateful kiss.
“Kyuuu!!!”
“Traitor!” Hakkai chuckles fondly.
“We're in the same boat, aren't we Hakuryu my beast friend…”
C.
Huge stone pillars crash down from the ceiling.
“*Thiz* iz wha' happenz iv you brea—break! the rulez…” the bunny-bear rattles weakly.
“Goku! Watch out!” Hakkai cries. CRASH! Goku jumps away just in time. Repeat. Repeat again. Goku looks around frantically, and sees Sanzo and Gojyo locked in a heated embrace, the familiar sounds of passion echoing in the large room.
“Sanzo!”
“Gojyo!”
“Sanzo…”
“Gojyo…”
“OI! Gojyo! Sanzo!” Goku yells desperately, yelping and narrowly avoiding consecutive blocks of stone crashing down on him. “QUIT THE PDA, DAMMIT!!!”
Gojyo pulls away from Sanzo the tiniest bit and frowns. “Don't joke! Why do I have to listen to—“
CRASH!
The kappa and the priest are almost flattened as well.
“This is a *great* welcome,” Hakkai comments sarcastically.
“He's making a fool of us!” Sanzo growls.
“*You're* making fools of *yourselves*, that's why!” Goku exclaims crossly.
“Urusei! Who's the pet, then? Who's NOT allowed?!?”
“The Rogue Priest and his Lover! That's who's NOT allowed!”
“Or *maybe* the KID MONKEY!!!”
“Yare yare…”
D.
A doorway opens. The ikkou rush up. And up. And up.
“Ano…” Hakkai pants. “Is Kami-sama *really* waiting at the top floor?”
“'Ch. Of course!” Sanzo declares smugly. “Fools and smoke prefer high places.”
“OI!”
“A *dominant*, sexy kappa exempted, of course…” Sanzo purrs.
“That's better…” Gojyo grins.
Hakkai shakes his head. “You two are *terrible*!”
“That's us…”
“Hehehe…”
“Nani? Nani?” Goku demands, puzzled.
“Nevermind…”
E.
“Who knocked down the dominoes?!” Hakkai cries.
“Ah… Hehehe… Weren't we *supposed* to?” Goku grins sheepishly.
THWAK!
“We're not here to *play*, bakazaru!” Twitch.
“But me and Hakkai had the *longest* time looking for you and Gojyo in the maze…” Goku whines.
“That's coz we lost ourselves on *purpose*, baka,” Gojyo mumbles with a naughty twinkle in his eye.
“NANI?!” Hakkai glares.
THWAK!
“URUSEI! Fool…” Twitch. Guilty blush.
“Ow, that *stings*, buttercup…”
“Serves you right!” Goku crows.
“Well, it was the only way to avoid a PUBLIC display of affection!” Gojyo scowls, rubbing the abused arm.
TWITCH.
“Yare yare…”
F.
“CONGRATULATIONS! You have the best record for the race to the top!” the two-headed dolly cheers.
Blink-blink.
“Why are YOU here!” Gojyo points an accusing finger.
“I came up with the elevator!”
Blink-blink.
“*Why* are you *here*!” Goku demands. “I just *destroyed* you!”
“Oh. No you didn't…. I'm *child*proof.”
“Grrr…”
“This is a GIFT!” The doll quickly shoves forward a small box.
“Doumo, doumo!” Hakkai bows. He opens it. It contains a stamper and a stamp pad. The stamper spells S-U-C-K-E-R.
“Eh? Stop joking! Where's Kami-sama?!” Gojyo demands.
“In the basement.”
SWISH!
The floor opens up. The ikkou scream. They fall… and fall… and fall…
After a few hours, Goku taps Hakkai. Sanzo and Gojyo are blissfully asleep in each other's arms, despite the situation. Yes, they are *still* falling.
“Nani?” Hakkai yawns.
“Look…” Goku points up. Rapidly descending is a sneaky, malicious-looking man with oily hair, stubble on his chin, and grimy spectacles. He is dressed in a lab suit. He is carried by an enormous Bunny.
“Oh no, oh no, oh no, I'm *late*!” the man frets in a nasty, unpleasant voice. “Hurry up, Bunny! Or the *Queen* will cut my head off!” The two figures brush past them and disappear into the blackness below.
“That's strange…” murmurs Hakkai, scratching his head. And then he gasps, and grabs Goku, who is rapidly *shrinking*.
“What happened, Goku?!” Hakkai asks frantically.
“I… I ate some of the cake…” squeaks Chibi Goku in a tiny, tinny voice. Chibi Goku is now just one foot tall.
“*WHAT* cake?!”
“The cake on the shelves…”
Hakkai looks over and sees one and grabs it. There is a note: “Eat with water.” Hakkai the kindergarten teacher suddenly remembers all the stories he had read to his little pupils. “Oh *SHIT*…” he curses.
Up in Tenkai, Kanzeon Bosatsu laughs her head off. Jiroushin scowls. “I thought we had repaired the dimension breach?!” the manservant demands. “Now there are *three*!”
“The Valar must have screwed up and *opened* another, instead of closing the one,” Kanzeon Bosatsu declares with an incorrigible grin.
Jiroushin bites back a retort and marches off to take care of the situation once and for all. “You want something done, you gotta do it yourself…” he mutters.
“You have NO sense of humor,” Kanzeon Bosatsu drawls.
G.
“Welcome to my Toybox!” Kami-sama cackles mockingly. “You guys are really something else, I must say. Nobody ever took such a short time to—“ He stops talking abruptly as he realizes that he is talking to air.
For the ikkou, all coming from deprived childhoods, are busy *playing*.
Hakkai has found an Easy-Bake Oven and is eagerly making patty-pan cakes.
Goku bounces around crazily on a pogo stick, making a racket.
Sanzo is absorbed unlocking Rubik's Cube after Rubik's cube, white hands flashing as he races against an egg timer.
Gojyo whistles, busily undressing a whole neighborhood of Barbies and Kens. He dips the Barbies' heads in red ink, then paints a tiny red dot on the Kens' foreheads, and happily pairs them up, arranging them in scandalous poses.
Kami-sama blinks. Even the dragon is playing jackstones. Kami-sama walks over. “Can I play with you?”
“Kyu!”
H.
BANG! A bullet frees Hakkai from the stranglehold of red beads. The healer falls to the floor, wheezing.
Kami-sama whips around wildly, and encounters Goku, Gojyo and Sanzo staring at him down their noses.
“Why do you look at me like that?!” Kami-sama demands in a terrified but defiant screech.
“Coz you have some green stuff coming out of your nose,” says Goku.
Kami-sama hastily swipes his nose with his sleeve.
“And your hair is sticking up, just over there…” Gojyo drawls.
Kami-sama jerks a hand up and frantically pats his hair down.
“And you have pink frosting smeared across your cheek,” Sanzo informs him.
Kami-sama reaches up to wipe off the imaginary icing, but stops short as the three explode in hysterical laughter.
“What a moron!” Goku chortles, clutching his stomach.
“You owe me one, angel… You're my slave tonight…” Gojyo chuckles. Sanzo is laughing too hard to answer.
“GRRR!!!”
I.
The ikkou all stagger up defiantly in the wake of blast upon blast of the brutal red beads. Sanzo's cold words ring in the silence.
“Yes we are different. For you life and death is just for fun. But what we do is `gambling'.” The priest spits out a thin stream of blood. “What we bet is not a life.”
“No? What *do* you bet, then, pray tell?” Kami-sama challenges haughtily.
Sanzo nods at the ikkou. They empty their pockets one by one.
Hakkai pulls out safety pins and rubber bands and a few matchsticks for cooking, some string, his migraine and ulcer pills, and a handful of nuts and dried fruit he keeps for the dragon.
Goku produces a pack of melted, gooey M&M's, some marbles, a packet of Lifesavers, a couple of granola bars, licorice ropes, a handful of sticky jelly beans and gummy bears, and a crumbled fruit tart and some crushed cookies.
Gojyo digs around and comes up with a few sticks of gum, a rainbow assortment of flavored condoms (“Oops!”), handcuffs (“Hehehe…”), a crushed pack of Hi-Lites, his trusty Zippo, five or six snapshots of Sanzo, a picture of Jien, and a small bottle of oil.
Hakkai raises his eyebrows. “Always prepared, huh, Gojyo?”
“Baka! I use it for Jakujou!”
“Suuurrrrre…”
Kami-sama looks on in utter bewilderment.
Goku helps him out. “Eejit. You think we carry cash around? Sanzo takes care of all we need.”
Kami-sama looks over to Sanzo. Sanzo arches golden eyebrows. Held up between index and middle finger glitters the AnEx card.
“Feeding the bottomless pit for a day: $570. Fees for professional therapy: $250 an hour. Times five. Six hours a week. Equals: $9000. The droll expression on Kami-sama's face: Priceless.”
J.
“Your master was Ukoku Sanzo-Houshi,” Sanzo states confidently.
“Are you a mind reader?” Kami-sama gasps.
“Sanzo-Houshi?!” Gojyo exclaims.
“No way!” Goku protests. “You mean this nincompoop is a real Sanzo-Houshi as well?!”
Kami-sama laughs triumphantly. “I told you! I told you!” he gloats. “I'm a REAL Sanzo-Houshi!”
Sanzo narrows his eyes. “I wonder if that's true…” he murmurs insinuatingly. “Where's the sutra you're supposed to inherit, then? You stole *mine* and put it on!”
“Urusei…”
“You *have* no sutra!” Sanzo accuses.
“Urusei!”
“You don't even have a holy name!” Sanzo spits. “You *CAN'T* tell us your name, *can* you?! That's why you call yourself Kami-sama!”
Kami-sama stomps his foot. “That's *NOT* why I call myself God!” he denies.
“Why, then?” Hakkai asks placatingly.
“*When* did I realize I was God, you mean,” Kami-sama says, pursing his lips thoughtfully. “Well… I was in a very pious mood one day… and I was praying aloud, and I suddenly realized I was talking to *myself*. That's when I knew I was God!”
Blink-blink.
“Ohhh…”
“Sou ka.”
“You don't say…”
“'Ch. BAKA!”