Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction / Saiyuki Reload Fan Fiction / Saiyuki Reload Gunlock Fan Fiction ❯ Episode1: Truly,Madly,Deeply ❯ Nothing To Give ( Chapter 25 )

XXV. NOTHING TO GIVE

 

In which Genjo Sanzo, 31st in line of the Holy Priests called Sanzo, keepers of the Heaven and Earth Sutras, puts Kami-sama in his place… With the help, of course, of one never-say-die Son Goku, a sternly unyielding Cho Hakkai, and a passionate, steel-willed Sha Gojyo.

 

 

A.

 

“Awesome, huh?” Kami-sama giggles triumphantly as the phantom-dolls overpower the ikkou. “Isn't my Master THE MAN?” Kami-sama gloats. “He said all lives are God's playthings, you know…”

 

“K'so…” growls Goku, unable to bring himself to crush even one of the once-supposedly human toys.

 

Kami-sama cackles madly, but his eyes suddenly pop as the low sound of chanting pierces all the noise.

 

“Noooo…” Kami-sama wails. “NOOO!!!”

 

Sanzo flings off the dolls crawling madly over him. He staggers to his feet. Danger flashing from icy violet eyes, Sanzo cries: “MAKAII TENJOU!!!”

 

…When the dust settles, it reveals Kami-sama with a petulant pout, arms crossed and shaking with irritation. “So THAT'S the magic word!” Kami-sama glares accusingly at Sanzo. “I've tried and tried and I've tried to get it to work!” Kami-sama ticks off on his fingers. “Banish the evil, destroy the evil, ward off the evil, exorcise the evil, neutralize the evil, teleport, distill, holify, sanctify…” Kami-sama stomps his foot. “Even GOODIFY the evil! Darn it!!!” Kami-sama tears wildly at his hair. “Grrr… Why didn't you tell me it was PURIFY! Purify, purify, purify…”

 

“Baka…” mutters Goku.

 

“Yare yare…”

 

“Of *course* it's purify, you eejit. My Sanzo happens to be PURE***,” croons Gojyo, nuzzling Sanzo's ear. “Ne, babykins?”

 

“I don't know about *that*,” murmurs Hakkai.

 

“'Ch.”

 

***A/N: See Taboo, by the same Author.

 

 

B.

 

“MAKAII TENJOU!!!”

 

Kami-sama watches in horror as the Maten Sutra flies from his shoulders and weaves around the possessed toys, making them vanish. Sanzo impressively holds up his hand, and the scripture drops into his palm, neatly coiled. Sanzo advances menacingly to the stricken Kami-sama.

 

“*WHAT* was that you said about a *TOY*?! Damn you!!!” Sanzo snarls. “I've got NOTHING to give to you! Nothing at all!” he growls. “Gojyo is MY boytoy! Mine alone!”

 

“Love you, baby…” Gojyo purrs from across the room.

 

“K'SO!!!” Kami-sama glares wildly, holding up his pretty-boy pulverizer bead-blaster. Gojyo swiftly clasps Kami-sama's wrists.

 

“Uh-uh-uh!” Gojyo shakes his head. “I don't think so…” The red eyes spit fire at Kami-sama. “It was a *long* game of tag, hmm? I've got you now…” Gojyo lifts Kami-sama off his feet.

 

Kami-sama swoons.

 

“Oi…”

 

Click.

 

Gojyo turns swiftly and meets the barrel of the Smith and Wesson aimed between his eyes. “Are you *flirting* with the enemy, pumpkin pie?” Sanzo asks sweetly.

 

Gojyo rolls his eyes, and carelessly tosses Kami-sama away. Kami-sama goes splat! against the wall. “I *swear*, angel, this insane jealousy has *got* to stop!” Gojyo growls.

 

“You—“ Sanzo begins, but Gojyo cuts him off by bending the monk backward over his arm and kissing him thoroughly. They pull apart.

 

“Satisfied?” the kappa smirks.

 

“Mmm…”

 

Goku rolls his eyes. “There's a *fight* left to finish, Romeo and Juliet!” he calls.

 

Hakkai shrugs. “Ayayay…”

 

 

C.

 

“I've got you now…” Gojyo growls, lifting Kami-sama off his feet. Kami-sama drives a string of beads into the kappa's chest. Gojyo flings Kami-sama off, clenches his teeth, grasps the string of beads and pulls it out. He collapses. Behind him…

 

Goku charges. He is blasted with beads as well. He pays no attention, and sends Nyoibou crashing down on Kami-sama. And then he grins. He collapses too. Behind him…

 

Hakkai cups his palms, summoning a chi ball. Kami-sama holds up his weapon. But suddenly Hakkai snaps his fingers, dismissing the energy. The healer's body is pummeled with beads as well.

 

“N—nande?!” Kami-sama gasps in shock. “Why did you stop attacking? Why didn't you block the beads?!” he demands.

 

Hakkai winces. “I… I ran out of juice…” Hakkai staggers weakly. “Somebody plug me in…” Hakkai sways, and collapses too. Behind him…

 

Sanzo runs his hands down his face. “Baka yarou… All of you!!!”

 

 

D.

 

“You used one of your men as a shield?!” Kami-sama gasps in disbelief at the monk's utter ruthlessness. Sanzo tilts his jaw and arches golden eyebrows.

 

“There's a word, `Emptiness'… My master left it to me,” Sanzo says, casually reloading the gun. “Live without being captured or bound by anything…” He finishes reloading and spins the barrel shut. Sanzo sighs. “But my Master never counted on the power of one irresistible, sinfully sexy, passionate kappa…”

 

Gojyo blows Sanzo a kiss.

 

Sanzo shrugs. “What can I say? *Omnia vincit amor*. My `attachment' to my baby might render me weak on one hand, but his love makes up for it, on the other hand.”

 

Gojyo sniffs and wipes off a sentimental tear or two. Goku and Hakkai roll their eyes.

 

“This maddening rascal gives me strength,” Sanzo declares. “And so I don't hesitate. I have my own way of living. My own `Emptiness'!”

 

“We know, we know…” Hakkai murmurs.

 

“The *Rogue* Priest, blah-blah-blah…” Goku mutters.

 

Gojyo frowns at them both, and sticks his tongue out.

 

“I don't understand. I don't understand that at all!” Kami-sama wails, digging his fists into his eyes. “You have so much - you have your pumpkin pie who's wildly obsessed with you, you have your own private cook-executive secretary-nurse-personal assistant- chauffer-babysitter…”

 

“Yare yare, when you put it *that* way…” Hakkai rubs the back of his neck.

 

“…And you have your very own *kawaii* pet monkey!”

 

“Grrr…”

 

“AND the coolest transformer toy I've ever seen…”

 

“Kyu!!!” Hakuryu preens proudly.

 

“IT'S NOT FAIR!!!” Kami-sama whines. “Ne, let me have them, hey?” he begs. “Keep your silly cupcake. All he does is talk about you anyway.” Sanzo gives a satisfied grin. “But please pretty please give me the monkey?! I *promise* to take good care of him….”

 

“GRRR!!!”

 

Sanzo clamps a placating hand on Goku's shoulder as he walks over to Kami-sama. Sanzo drops down on his haunches before the figure on the floor.

 

“You want what I have?” Sanzo drawls in a low voice.

 

“Hai,” Kami-sama replies eagerly.

 

Sanzo ponders for a moment. Then his lips quirk. “Okay… Let's see you sing `I'm Too Sexy' while doing the moonwalk, then…”

 

Kami-sama pouts. “You're a bully!”

 

 

E.

 

The ground rumbles underfoot, and the walls start to collapse.

 

“NANI?!” Goku cries.

 

“Earthquake?!” Gojyo exclaims, holding up an exhausted Hakkai.

 

“Sou ka…” Kami-sama sighs. “Game over…”

 

“Game?” Sanzo inquires.

 

“It's a game me and my Master are playing… If I lose, then the game is over.”

 

“No shit, Sherlock,” Goku mutters. “That's not right! You should tell your sensei to get an updated version, or the sequel…”

 

Kami-sama ignores him. “Hayaku. You should get out, or you'll be crushed when the castle collapses.”

 

Gojyo curses, letting go of Hakkai. THUD! “Ow…”

 

“Baka!” Gojyo grabs hold of Kami-sama. “You're talking selfishly. It's annoying! You're no better than Kinkaku and Ginkaku!” The soft-hearted kappa tightens his grip on Kami-sama. “Ikuzo! You're just a kid…”

 

“Oi…” Sanzo drawls dangerously. “Just *forget* about it…” he warns.

 

“But angel—“

 

Violet eyes glitter coldly. “We. Are. NOT. Adopting. That. Brat.”

 

“Just for a little—“

 

“IIE.”

 

Gojyo shrugs at Kami-sama. “Gomen.”

 

Kami-sama sighs. “You're kind.”

 

“Whatever.”

 

F.

 

Ni Jenyi saunters in cockily through a secret side entrance, preparing a good lecture in his mind. But he never gets to deliver it.

 

“Kami-sama? Yoo-hoo! Where are you…” Ni Jenyi pokes around the corners, narrowly avoiding getting crushed by the collapsing ceiling. He straightens up, scowling. “Where has that eejit gone to…” he mutters, kicking aside rocks and chunks of cement. And then he sees it, the note. He stoops, retrieves the note, and reads.

 

“Sensei: I am turning over a new leaf. Sorry, you'll have to find yourself a new plaything. Neverneverland is no more. I'm off to take refuge in Graceland, instead. At least Lisa Marie still has a soft spot for me. Plus, Sanzo-chan said there are lots of kawaii monkeys over there. Sayonara, Kami-sama.”

 

Ni JenYi crushes the note in his hand, trembling with fury. “Damn you, Genjo Sanzo!!!”

 

-FLASHBACK-

 

“Just for a little—“ Gojyo begs.

 

“IIE!”

 

“But angel, we can't just leave this fool here to die!” Gojyo pleads desperately. “Look at him! He's just a child…”

 

“'Ch.” Sanzo pinches his nose tiredly. “I swear, baby, if I didn't love you so much…”

 

Gojyo yelps in delight, rushing over to rain kisses on Sanzo. “Thank you thank you thank you sweetie…”

 

“We're NOT adopting him!” Sanzo scolds, yanking Gojyo's hair. “I've thought of someplace he can go instead…”

 

“Where's that, Sanzo?” Goku asks.

 

“A place where my master used to love spending his vacations…”

 

 

G.

 

The ikkou sprawl on the ground, perfectly aligned head-to-head like the four points of the compass. Neverneverland is in ruins around them.

 

“Are you alive?” Gojyo drawls lazily.

 

“Hai… Just barely,” mumbles Hakkai.

 

Gojyo shifts. “Itte itte itte… It's when you relax that it starts to hurt… Oi!…” he purrs suddenly, feeling Sanzo groping around in his jeans pockets. “Out here, babykins? My, you *are* kinky…”

 

“Baka!” Sanzo growls, finally coming up with the thing he was searching for.

 

Click!

 

“Let THAT teach you to leave me behind again…” Sanzo drawls, as he clamps the handcuffs shut around each of their wrists. “Hmmm?” Golden eyebrows levitate mockingly.

 

Gojyo groans. “Sanzo! Angel…”

 

“Baby…” Sanzo purrs back.

 

“Yare yare…” Hakkai sighs, standing up and dusting himself off. “You two are *worse* than ever…”

 

“Nothing like near-death to fan the flames of love…” Gojyo croons.

 

“Shut up and *kiss* me!”

 

Goku stretches and yawns mightily. “Hara—“

 

“—hetta. I know. You're worse than ever too,” Hakkai grumps.

 

“Anooo…” Goku whines.

 

“I need a vacation…” the healer mutters.

 

“Kyu!”

 

“Preferably with the voluptuous, sweet Yaone…” Hakkai sighs.

 

“Sanzo!”

 

“Gojyo!”

 

“Sanzo…”

 

“Gojyo…”

 

“HARAHETTA!”

 

 

H.

 

“Doushite?!” the Rogue Priest snaps, an arm draped sexily over the steering wheel. “Get in,” he orders. The ikkou blink stupidly at him. He glares. “Are you getting in or not?!” he barks.

 

“Whew…” the Rogue's Lover purrs, red eyes gazing hotly at the priest. “What's gotten into you, baby? You're so *dominant*, all of a sudden…”

 

“Exactly,” the Rogue Priest growls, “I'm in a hurry to get to the next town, and a nice *big* bed… And I have no intention of risking our necks letting half-dead guys like you drive. So get your asses in!” he orders impatiently.

 

The Rogue Priest's PA whistles mockingly. “In that case, we appreciate your offer…”

 

The Rogue's Lover clambers eagerly to the front passenger seat. The Rogue Priest shoots him an imperious look. “You. Get in the back seat, where you belong.”

 

“But angel!” the Rogue's Lover pouts. The Rogue Priest swats him away impatiently. “Go, you fool! I can't concentrate on driving with the distraction…” The Rogue's Lover steals a quick kiss before obeying happily, a smug satisfied smirk on his face. “Hurry up, then… night will fall soon…” he croons, waggling wicked crimson eyebrows.

 

“Do you need a map?” the executive secretary inquires as the Rogue Priest revs the engine.

 

“Iie.” Purple eyes narrow. “Only one direction we're heading… And that's West.”

 

“With a few *steamy* detours along the way, of course…” the Rogue's Lover grins.

 

The Rogue's Pet rolls his eyes. “I'm starving… I'm dying… I'm not sure I can take this,” he mumbles.

 

“How about a bet?” the Rogue's Chef asks merrily, infected by the lunatic mood.

 

“Nani?”

 

“The first one to die before we reach the next town is a loser,” the Rogue's Lover suggests.

 

“Huh. What's the punishment, then?” the Rogue Priest drawls.

 

“Handcuffs *and* blindfolds…” The Rogue's Lover leers, winking naughtily at the Rogue Priest. “Ready to die, angel? Or I could go first… Yeah, I think I'd rather…” he grins wickedly.

 

“How about,” the babysitter cuts in, shaking his head ruefully, “we leave the annoying rogue and his lover in the main street, naked?”

 

“Oh yeah, oh yeah!” crows the Rogue's Pet, golden eyes gleaming with glee. “That's *priceless*, Hakkai!” he chortles.

 

The lovers ignore them. The Rogue's Lover leans back happily in his seat, folding his hands behind his head. He whistles. “One, two, three, fou-our! Gojyo's gonna *score* some mo-ore!” He winks. “With my baby, of course…”

 

“Yare yare,” The Rogue's Pet's babysitter sighs. “You call *that* a victory cheer?”

 

“Harahetta!!! Harahetta-harahetta-harahetta…”

 

“Is this the gas pedal, then?” the Rogue Priest asks flippantly. “Ikuzo!”

 

SCREEEEEE!!!!!

 

Up in Tenkai, Kanzeon Bosatsu yawns. “They got moving at last…” she drawls lazily. “That nephew of mine sure lands himself in bizarre Twilight Zone situations…”

 

Jiroushin sweatdrops, observing in the lotus pool as the Rogue Priest turns dangerously from the wheel to give his lover a lingering kiss. “Um, speaking of which,” he ventures,” Now I understand why Konzen-sama was never seen with ladies up here in Tenkai…”

 

“Yep,” Kanzeon drawls. “That nephew of mine is so blatantly, overpoweringly male, no *woman* could ever tame him…” She turns deep indigo eyes to Jiroushin. “It takes that irreverent, ultimate epitome of the red-blooded male Kenren to reign in and claim that dazzling brilliance. Makes perfect sense, don't you think?”

 

“You mean, only Sha Gojyo can melt that ice, and only Genjo Sanzo can quench that fire, ne?”

 

“That's what I *said*…” Kanzeon Bosatsu growls.

 

“Hai-hai…” Jiroushin muffles a chuckle.

 

 

-owari-