Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Crappy Poem Theater ❯ The Hentai Episode! ( Chapter 4 )

Crappy Poem Theater

A weak imitation of Masterpiece theater theme being played on a kazoo is heard in the background. Vid-cam zooms in on a small library-type room and a comfy red easy chair where Cherry Blossom is currently sitting, smoking a pipe and reading a book.

Cherry Blossom: Welcome back to the fourth episode of…uh….

Matteo: Crappy Poem Theater.

Cherry Blossom: I KNOW that.

Matteo: Suuuure.

Cherry Blossom: Look, you try writing this stuff on three hours of sleep, okay?

Matteo: You should go to bed earlier.

Cherry Blossom: I would except I had to finish my…er….work.

Matteo: Yeah, playing UNO for four hours straight with Melody-san is a LOT of work.

Cherry Blossom: Bite me.

Matteo: Okay…

Cherry Blossom: Not literally, you hentai!

Matteo: *sulks*

Cherry Blossom: So…all we all ready for another episode of truly horrible poetry?

G-Boyz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Cherry Blossom: Great! But first…

Reviewer's Corner

Vid-cam zooms in on Cherry Blossom sitting at a desk with Matteo with a whole lot 'o letters spread around them. The G-Boyz are sitting beside the desk in comfy leather chairs stolen from Grand and To….uh….someplace.

Cherry Blossom: For those of you who haven't been paying attention, Reviewer's Corner is the part of the show when we find out who reviewed last week's show. As always, my multi-talented muse, Matteo will read the letters.

Matteo: *grumbles* Why do I always have to read?

Cherry Blossom: Just do it! *phrase owned by Nike, have no intention of being sued*

Matteo: *clears throat* Shinimegami Winner writes,

Mwaahahahahahahaaaa... The Goddess of Death has returned... and she has a crappy poem! "I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud!!!"

Wufei: *in horror* No! Anything but that!

Matteo: Mwaahahahahaaha... eh, well, at least I hated it... Anywho continue! I want to see Heero tortured some more!!! Mwaahahahahaha! (Shinimegami

disappears in a poof of smoke)

Quatre: Why can't I disappear in a poof of smoke?

Heero: *whines* Why does everybody hate meeeeeeeeeeeee?

Duo: Oh, I dunno…maybe 'cause you keep threatening to KILL THEM!!

Heero: *thinks a bit* Naaaaaaaaaahhhh.

Matteo: Elentari writes,

Hey, Heero, I'm still alive!And encouraging CherryBlossom to find more poems to torture you guys with! *evil laugh* Byeeee! *Runs off to find

more crappy poems for CherryBlossom*

Cherry Blossom: Arigatou to everyone who sent in poems. I was all set to use them but then my English Prof. came and gave me more of them for an assignment so…we're stuck with those until I run out again.

G-Boyz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Cherry Blossom: *rubs ears* I wish you guys wouldn't do that…

Matteo: Sebien writes,

(Laughs off of chair)Loved this on too please write another if you can!! But still, (gets scary sweet look)be a little more easier on Quarte!! Please!!

Quatre: *all choked up* You like me. You really like me.

Cherry Blossom: What do you think boys? Shall we let him go?

G-Boyz: NO!

Quatre: *pouts* Meanies.

Cherry Blossom: Didn't think so.

Matteo: Corazon del Fuego writes,

*amazed whistle* Profound how mentioning people in the fic gets the number of reviews up, ne? ^_~ And I'll see what I can do about finding some

crappy poetry and/or songs for ya'. Just because Hee-kun deserves it. ^__^

Heero: HEY!

Cherry Blossom: *whistles nonchalantly* Don't know WHAT you're talking about, Corazon-chan. I'm not dropping names just so I can get more reviews. Nuh uh.

Duo: But I thought-

Cherry Blossom: *covers his mouth with her hand* Let's move on to the next letter, shall we?

Duo: Mmmph mmmph mmmph!!

Cherry Blossom: Sorry Duo, honey. Can't understand a WORD you're saying.

Matteo: Juliana Kintobor writes,

Funny! (Those are some STUPID poems!) I've got some to submit sometime ... I'll try to get them to you somehow. [looks at "The Grand Rapids

Cricket Club"] KISAMA POET! SHE STOLE MY NAME (almost)!

Wufei: NEVER mention that unjust poet again!

Matteo: Lig Maxwell writes,

Hahaha!!That was soooo funny!! I love character torturing fics, especially the ones with Wuffie.... *grins*

Wufei: *pouts* I'm always getting tortured by someone.

Cherry Blossom: Don't worry Wu-man. I still luv ya!

Wufei: *grumbles*

Matteo: And hey, I have some REALLY crappy

poems that my teacher gave us. I'll send them to you A.S.A.P. (just try and kill me now Hee-chan!MUAAHAHAHA!!!)Ja ne!

Heero: No…..more…..POEMS!

Cherry Blossom: Too late, Hee-chan. At this rate the show will last forever. ^__^

G-Boyz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: I thought I told you guys to quit that…

Matteo: : Juliana Kintobor writes,

Quatre: Hey, didn't we already hear from her?

Duo: She reviewed again! She's not allowed to do that, is she?

Matteo: I am reviewing again. My computer is screwed and I thus have the power to review twice. (*mwahahahaha*) GOD I LOVE THIS THINGS! ^_^ I love ya, Cherry Blossom. You have very good writing skills -- unlike those poets. Hee hee ...... if you'll excuse me, I have some poets to pushoffacliffandkill -- erm, I mean, meet with ...

Cherry Blossom: Did you hear that? I have good writing skills.

Matteo: Uh oh, swelled head alert.

Cherry Blossom: : p

Matteo: Rebecca the Great (much too lazy to sign in)

Wufei: Apparently.

Matteo: Writes,

Ha! Fei-babe DOES have a cute ass

Wufei: *smirks*

Duo: Now you've done it.

Matteo: (nope, Hee-chan, your's ain't cute, it's just wrapped in spandex, Wu-bear has too much integrity for that ^_~ )

Wufei: *smirk gets bigger* This onna is great!

Heero: *incoherent sputtering noises*

Matteo: I'm considering sending you some really retarded poems to help with your G-boy torture. Oh, and PLEASE don't make Duo sing again. ^_^

Duo: *pouts* And just what is wrong with my singing.

Everybody else: O_0

Cherry Blossom: You have to ask?

Duo: HEY!

Matteo: Kiyone writes,

HAHAHA!!!! I will NEVER get tired of reading these!!! LOL so funny!!!! hmm...i'll go look for some crappy poems around the house... even if it's putting poor Duo though torture! Sowwie Duo-huney!!!! ^_^

Duo: *still pouting* Apology not accepted.

Cherry Blossom: Cheer up. I've got pocky!

Duo: Pocky? Where?!

Cherry Blossom: Here ya go. *gives pocky to Duo*

Duo: YEAH! *scarfs down the pocky*

Matteo: Black Tiger /a.k.a.autumn fowler writes,

HEY CHERRY-SAMMA!

Cherry Blossom: HEY BLACK TIGER!

Matteo: PLEASE LET DUO GO I DON'T THINK HE DESERVES THIS.

Duo: Whooo hooo. Alright. Someone like me!

Matteo: AS FOR HEERO MAKE HIM STAY FOR ALL TIME!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Heero: *twitches*

Cherry Blossom: I know what you're thinking and no, you can't have your gun back.

Heero: Smeg.

Matteo: TROWA AND QUATRE AND WUFIE TOO!BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAH LUV YA

DU-CHAN!(0-^)XXXXXXXXXXXX#X

A VERY angry Quatre and Wufei: EXCUSE ME?!

Quatre: *going zero-y* My enemy…

Wufei: INJUSTICE!

Trowa: …..

Cherry Blossom: Hey, Trowa. Are you okay? You haven't said anything all show.

Trowa: ……

Cherry Blossom: Trowa?

Duo: I think he's zoned out.

Heero: The strain must have been too much for him.

Quatre: Oh, Trowa!

Trowa: ……

Matteo: Dariana Night writes,

(pulls out Katana and points it at cherry blossom) Be nice to Wu-koi or else! (waves Katana and glares) (puts katana up) other than that good job!

Cherry Blossom: I'm nice to him! Aren't I Wufei?

Wufei: You're making me listen to crappy poems.

Cherry Blossom: Well…yes, but BESIDES that.

Wufei: Hn…

Cherry Blossom: Aw, come on. Just 'cause I said that Zechs had the cutest ass.

Wufei: Hn…

Matteo: Evil Anime Chick writes,

Hmm...how many many crappy poems do I have so far...::counts:: You boys are lucky. I only have four so far...key term: so far. I'm still searching

::grins evily:: 'till then...you live...

Quatre: *shudder* Why am I suddenly filled with dread?

Heero: Three guesses.

Trowa: ….

Cherry Blossom: Would you TALK already?

Trowa: …..

Cherry Blossom: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Matteo: Minuit writes,

Oh, dear. And I thought I had read bad poetry before... *snickers* That was, without a doubt, the worst bunch of utter garbage I have ever read. So

much better than doing my Speech class debate briefs! ^_^() Poor Gundam boys; they're really going through a lot. You always hurt the ones you

love, after all... *pats Quatre on the head* Seriously, though, I love your work. I can't wait to read more! Ja!

Quatre: *starry eyes* She loves me…

Trowa: …….

Cherry Blossom: TALK DAMN YOU!

Matteo: little greeeeeeeeeeen! (Yay!!)

Hello Cheery chan!!! I luuuuv it!! It's so funny when our boyz MST poems, it's as cool as "dear Andrea"! BTW, I agree with them, those poems are

lame... Did you pick in your school stock once more? Please, tell meeeee!!

Cherry Blossom: Yes. Believe it or not these were all poems assigned to be by the….evil Mr. Thorpe!!!

Matteo: [NDLR : Treize sez hello, even if his mouth is currently stuffed with

carrots so I don't understand every word! Actually, we both know he can't talk, unlike Matteo, but the heart is there! ... OMG, I should stop him

now... He looks like his cheeks are gonna explode or something...]

G-Boyz: o_0

Duo: Huh?

Cherry Blossom: Trieze is her hamster.

Wufei: Oh…

Matteo: Ginga writes,

Poor G-boys...

Duo: *kawaii eyes* Yes, poor us.

Wufei: Pity me…

Heero: Omeo o korosu.

Cherry Blossom: Stop…

Matteo: teague writes,

hmm.. duo, babe, you just don't know how completely outta my mind I am... the only thing I got outta the poems was the beer part in the last one... I was like yeah! sumthin along my lines, beer!... anyway.. *cough* I'm gonna go eat some pocky.

Duo: POCKY!! YEAH!!

Cherry Blossom: You already had some.

Matteo: Hinode says,

Ahh, at last, someone who knows the pain of reading crappy poems. This series is absolutely hilarious, and I totally understand the pain. My AP Lit teacher is forcing us to do a unit on sonnets *shudder*. Hehe, there's a thought: the G-boys being forced to sit through nonsensical Shakespearean odes to unrequited (and oftentimes unreal) love. Definately keep this series going!

Quatre: Wasn't Shakespear supposed to be the greatest writer of all time?

Cherry Blossom: You'd think that. But then you'd be wrong.

Matteo: kelly writes,

Another funny one! Yay! We did a poetry project in my class, and sadly this is what most of the poems sounded like *sweatdrop*...Including mine*blush* ...er.. Hope to see more soon! ^_^ Jan ne!

Trowa: …..

Cherry Blossom: God would you just SAY something?

Matteo: Meg Uchuno writes,

Konnichi wa Blossom-san. It was such a nice shock to see my review in your story! ::screams for joy :: I ADORED Duo's singing talents! You RULE Duo-chan!

Duo: *kawaii smile* Thank you.

Matteo: I think Wufei-chan also rules. ::winks::

Wufei: I know.

Quatre: Modest, aren't you.

Wufei: Yes…

Quatre: *sweatdrops*

Matteo: Um... Heero can go to Jigoku as far as I'm concerned ( ya hear that Heero! Just TRY and KILL me! I dare you! Say, didn't Blossom-san take away your gun? ::insert evil laugh here::)

Heero: *pleading look* Pleeeeaaaaase?

Cherry Blossom: No.

Matteo: Um...Trowa sucks and Quatre has the mind of a 4-year old.

Quatre: HEY! I'm the strategist around here you know!

Cherry Blossom: I'm sure she didn't mean it Q-chan.

Trowa: *zero-look*

Duo: Uh…Trowa?

Matteo: I know of one poet that has enough crappy poems to last you a lifetime. Her name is Emily Dickenson. Her poems SUCK. sorry for the insanity. oh wait. i'm not sorry for the craziness. Ara ore Kami-sama, Maybe you should included Relena in these. Not so you can torture her but so you can torture Heero! ::insert evil laugh here :: Ja ne!

Heero: Pleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssseeeeeeeee?!!!

Cherry Blossom: No…

Trowa: *starts to shake*

Duo: Trowa?

Matteo: Caro-chan writes,

YAY!!! More tortured bishounen! ^_^ Sorry Duo, I love you, but this is too funny to give up! Please post more, Cherry B! (ducks as various objects are thrown at her by the G-Boys)

Wufei: HA! You're aim sucks, Heero.

Heero: You missed as well.

Wufei: ….

Matteo: Hawk writes,

Oh my God! ( Not you Duo!)This is so funny!!! * Turns to chibi form* Wu-man, I can call you Wu-Man cuz I'm AN 'ONNA' and you are an idiot, and Wu-man you are weaker than a woman! * Returns to normal teenaged girl form* Luved the torture session! Want more now!

Wufei: *looks like he's going to cry*

Duo: Uh oh. Now you've done it.

Wufei: T-that…onna…j-just said…

Cherry Blossom: *quickly feeds him some pocky* Alright guys, no more bashing in the reviews. I have to work with these guys, you know.

Matteo: Valwen Isilme writes,

I so love this! Keep it up! Sorry Guys but this is to good of a thing ^^ *waves* the dare's still open to Heero.

Heero: Hn…

Duo: You're losing your edge.

Heero: Shut up.

Matteo: Shinigami no Kamikaze writes,

I hope someone sends ya more poems. I'd help, but I don't want Duo too angry with me, and I didn't lug my lit book with me from school. *shrugs* You can decide which is the main reason why I won't be helpin' you out... Wufei, you're as kind as a hungry, constipated mountain lion with cubs. But I won't think of any more impromptu torture, okay?... *evil grin* My torture will be methodically planned out... *sighs* To think, I found your ass finer than Heero's. Maybe a re evaluation is in order (but I doubt an honorable guy like you cares about such vain things, am I right...?). This is still as amusing as ever, Cherry Blossom ^_^

Wufei: *lower lip trembles*

Cherry Blossom: Aw smeg. *stuffs him with even more pocky* C'mon guys, she didn't, mean it.

Matteo: Dark Heart says,

That was sooooo funny! I thought the pimpley-dimples poem was the worst. Poor G-boys! Oh, and just because I love Heero and dislike Wufei:

HEERO HAS THE HOTTEST ASS EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Um, yeah. Anyway, I love these! MORE, MORE, MORE!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: *covers Wufei's ears* No more bashing.

Heero: I'm glad SOMEBODY likes my ass.

Duo: No comment.

Trowa: …….

Duo: Exactly.

Matteo: Cleckmoon writes,

Ahyayahhhhh!!! Great way to make me laugh. Hey! Woofie! You were right! I AM a nutty onna! And i have a nutty boyfriend, and nutty friends, and nutty teachers, who all go to a nutty high school... Peanuts! Pistacios! Casaba Melons! (I was sick of the protiens). Anyway... Nice MST's. -Love from, the crazy anthropomorphic hare girl that lives down the block and likes to stare at you with her super high powered deer hunting binoculars, and believes that if someone is pointing a laser at you, duck, because yer gonna get shot at.

G-Boyz: O_0

Quatre: Okaaaaay.

Cherry Blossom: Thanks for the advise, CM. When's the next chapter of The Underground coming out anyway?

Matteo: Lucky Yuy and Chetiche Barton write,

Lucky:Like I said b4 It's not so bad to be killed by Heero...Chetiche:Just because you wrote a romance with him and You and had a dream about him doesn't mean he won't kill you. Lucky:Hmph...

Heero: O_0

Duo: *snickers*

Matteo: Great Story!Ohh I have a crappy poem!I wrote it myself so it has to be crappy!And I really want this to go on!Chetiche:Yeah!!!!Lucky:By the way since you blabed I Liked Heero(which I do and I REALLY had a dream about him)I get to say...CHETICHE LOVES*chetiche's hand covers her mouth* *Lucky gets away*SHE LOVES TROWA!!MWAHAHAHA!!!Chetiche:DIE!!! Lucky:Yipe!

Trowa: *looses the zero look…actually SMILES*

Cherry Blossom: There you go, Trowa. Someone loves you.

Trowa: Thank you.

Duo: And he talks! It's a miracle!

Trowa: *glares* Shut up.

Duo: Eep.

Matteo: Like I said Great Series!!!!*runs*Chetiche:Yeah great..come back here so I can kill you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh we had waaayyy to much Pepsi and Cherry you're on our Fave author's list and this story is on our fave story list and we worship you like My sister worships Wufei!(Lets not go there)JA NE!

Quatre: You have worshippers, Wufei?

Wufei: Doesn't everybody?

Quatre: *sweatdrops*

Matteo: Desperate Angel says,

Oooh..I never thought watching people suffer could be so much fun *goes evil chibi* Hmm..almost makes me want to dig up my old Lit book out and find some really good ones. *evil laugh* Hmm..I do kind of feel bad for Wu-fee. Quatre too. They really don't deserve this sort of treatment. *grins* They deserve some of the poems I had in my Contempt Lit class. MWAhahahaha *coughspurt* Erm..anyway. Keep on the good work! ~DA~

Quatre and Wufei: *blinks* Huh?

Matteo: Sabacat writes,

boy i hope those poets didn't get paid for that crap.... if they did, then i'm in the wrong business. ---that was funny once again! love it!

Cherry Blossom: Unfortunately, since all of these poems were published it's safe to assume that the writers must have gotten SOME money for that trash. But hopefully, they're all dead now and have no use for money.

Matteo: Starwolf Magic writes,

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! i feel sorry for the g-boys... then again maybe not. lol ^_^; Please write more!! Hey Heero, if you try to kill me i'll give you your own "Death Glare!" HAH! take that. *smiles innocently*

Heero: PLEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEE??!!!

Cherry Blossom: *thinks* No.

Matteo: If i can find one of my own crappy poems i'll send it in. anywho... Can't wait till next week!!

Cherry Blossom: And that does it for Reviewer's Corner.

Matteo: *gasps for breath* Need…water…quickly…

Cherry Blossom: On to the main event!

Crappy Poem Theater (for real this time)

Scene changes to a darkened theater where five familiar figures are seated.

Cherry Blossom: *pops in out of thin air* Guess what guys-

G-Boyz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: *pouts* I haven't even said anything yet.

Trowa: It doesn't matter. We know you have some more crappy poems for us, right?

Cherry Blossom: Well…yeah. But only a few.

Wufei: Not comforting.

Cherry Blossom: These poems are different. These are…………hentai poems! *crash of thunder and lightning* Okay, who keeps doing that?

Matteo: *from sound effects box* Sorry.

Heero: Hentai poems? You can't be serious.

Cherry Blossom: Oh, I'm very serious…or not. It doesn't matter. All that matter is……WE NEED TO MST THESE POEMS!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Duo: O_0

Trowa: Have you had any sugar today?

Cherry Blossom: Noooooooooo……..why?

Wufei: You're acting hyper that's why.

Cherry Blossom: I am NOT HYPER!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Trowa: Suuure.

Cherry Blossom: *whines* I am noooooooooot. I just had some tea with Q-chan and-

Heero: How much tea?

Cherry Blossom: Um…I don't know…how much tea did we have Q-CHAN!!

Quatre: Uh…2cupsofearlgrey3cupsofblueberrymadness3cupsofredrose5cupsoforange peking2cupsofrussianlemon-

Wufei: Heeelp.

Trowa: Don't worry. It'll wear off.

Heero: When?

Trowa: Uh…later.

Duo: *sweatdrops*

Cherry Blossom: Enough of this lollygagging around!! Let's get to the POEMS!

Wufei: Lolly..what?

Cherry Blossom: POEMS!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Matteo: WAIT!! Disclaimer first.

Cherry Blossom: Huh? Oh yeah. CUE THE DISCLAIMER!!

Disclaimer: I own EVERYTHING!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

G-Boyz: O__0

Cherry Blossom: My GOD that was BRILLIANT!!

Trowa: Riiiiight.

Cherry Blossom: READ THE POEM!!

Matteo: *clears throat*

Look, the Lambs Are All Around Us!

Quatre: Noooooooooo!!! *weeps* It's the sheep I tell you! THE SHEEP!!

Cherry Blossom: Don't worry Q-man. I'll protect you from the bad sheep.

Trowa: I have a bad feeling about this.

Duo: Trust the force, Trowa.

Everybody else: O_0

Duo: What?

By: Irving Layton

Cherry Blossom: Yet, another male poet.

Heero: Shut up.

Your figure, love,

curves itself

into a man's memory;

Wufei: *gag*

Heero: Could we adjust the heat in here?

Cherry Blossom: Just wait. It get hotter.

G-Boyz: *scream*

Or to put it the way

A junior prof

at Mount Allison might,

Helen with her thick

Absconding limbs

Duo: O_0

Quatre: What does absconding mean?

Wufei: You do NOT want to know.

Quatre: Yes I do.

About the waist

Of Paris

Did no better

Duo: Um…the girl's got her legs wrapped around the city of Paris?

Cherry Blossom: No, no, no. Helen and Paris are people in Greek Mythology.

Wufei: Very kinky people in Greek Mythology.

Cherry Blossom: And that's enough out of you.

Hell, my back's sunburnt

From so much love-making

In the open air.

Duo: Wait a minute. They're doing it outside? EWWWW!!!

Cherry Blossom: Ecchi, ecchi, ecchi!!

Quatre: *big eyes*

Heero: Must…get…gun….

The Primate (somebody

Made a monkey of him)

Duo: *flatly* Ha ha. That was so funny.

And the Sanhedrin

(long on the beard, short

on the braid)

Trowa: Wow. That's harsh.

Dilly: *pops in outta nowhere* BUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNN!!!! *pops back out*

G-Boyz: O_0

Heero: What the hell was that?

Cherry Blossom: Cameo appearance. He does my book-keeping.

<heard somewhere in the theater>

Dilly: BUUUUUUUURRRRRRRNNNNNNNN EVIL TAX BOOOOOOOKSSSSSS!!! YES, LOVELY!!! BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNN!!!!

Cherry Blossom: Er…yeah.

Send envoys to say

they don't approve.

Quatre: Well they should. Making out in public like that…

You never see them, love.

You toss me in the air

With such abandon,

Trowa: Either Irving is a very light man or his lover is extremely beefy.

Cherry Blossom: Trowa! Was that a joke?

Trowa: ….

They take to their heels and run.

G-Boyz: RUN AWAY!! RUN AWAY!!

Cherry Blossom: This Monty Python Moment was brought to you by the makers of Crappy Poem Theater.

Heero: Wouldn't that be you?

Cherry Blossom: Well…yes.

I tell you

Each kiss of your

Is like a blow on the head!

Duo: And this guy's had waaaaaaaaaay too many kisses.

What luck,

Wufei: I wouldn't call it that…

what luck to be loved

by the one girl

in this Presbyterian

country

who knows how to give

a man pleasure

Heero: *gags*

Cherry Blossom: I'm gonna file that under "Things I did NOT need to know".

Quatre: *sobs* Scarred for life.

Wufei: I hate you, Cherry.

Cherry Blossom: HEY!

Trowa: *weakly* Let's just move on.

Cherry Blossom: NEXT!

Matteo:

Study:

Cherry Blossom: Nooooooo!! I don't wanna study! The test is still a week away! Math suuuuuuuuucks!!!

Trowa: *sighs*

Heero: I don't think that's what he meant.

The Bath

Cherry Blossom: Oh. Hehe. Silly me.

Trowa: *rolls eyes*

Cherry Blossom: Watch yourself, clown boy.

By: Raymond Souster

Cherry Blossom: Which proves beyond the shadow of a doubt that only men can write hentai poetry.

Wufei: *snorts*

Heero: Hn…

Trowa: It's you girls that always write the smutty romance novels.

Quatre: And how would you know that, Trowa?

Trowa: *blushes* Er-

In the almost subdued light

Duo: How can light be almost subdued?

Wufei: Baka. It's poetry. It's not supposed to make sense.

Of the bathroom a woman

Duo: *stare*

Trowa: I don't like where this is headed.

Towel around her shoulders.

Wufei: Because when you're naked, naturally you'd want to cover up your SHOULDERS!

Quatre: N-naked?

Heero: Uh oh.

Drops of water glisten

On her body, slight buttocks,

G-Boyz: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quatre: AH, MY VIRGIN EARS!!

Wufei: I want OUT!

Cherry Blossom: Just think how I felt. They made us read this out loud. In CLASS. With the TEACHER listening.

Neck, the tight belly

Quatre: *REALLY big eyes*

Duo: Whoa…

Wufei: This is entirely inappropriate.

Cherry Blossom: You sound like my principal.

Heero: Must…shoot…poet…

Fall at intervals

From the slightly plumed

Oval of crotch

Everybody: O_0

Quatre: I'm scared!!

Trowa: Just don't look.

Wufei: *blushes*

Heero: Too much information!

Neck bent forward

Eyes collected

All her attention gathered

Everybody: O_0

At the ends of her fingers

Everybody: *sighs in relief*

Duo: Phew. For a minute there I thought he was going to say-

Cherry Blossom: DON'T say it.

As she removes the superfluous

Dead skin from her nipples

Everybody: *blink* EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: That's too hentai. Even for me.

Duo: Did NOT need to see that.

Wufei: I wanna go home.

Heero: *zero look*

Trowa: *tries to comfort Quatre* It's okay, little one.

Quatre: *sobs* No it's not. It'll never be okay again!

Cherry Blossom: *in shock* I think that's quite enough for one night.

Wufei: I think that's quite enough for a lifetime.

Duo: *snorts* Not bloody likely.

Heero: Since when did you become British?

Duo: Huh?

Cherry Blossom: Let's just go.

Quatre: I need to shower.

Cherry Blossom: If you want to send me poems-

Heero: No hentai ones….please! I don't think I could take it.

Cherry Blossom: Write to chibicherryb@hotmail.com. Thanks for watching Crappy Poem Theater.

Wufei: *bitterly* Yeah. Thanks a bunch.

Cherry Blossom: Jaa!!

Matteo: Wait! Aren't you forgetting something? What about meeeeeeeeee?

Cherry Blossom: Oh, yeah. Clean up around here, will ya? 'Night.

Matteo: *pouts*