Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Crappy Poem Theater ❯ A Wordsworth and his Thorn ( Chapter 6 )

Crappy Poem Theater

A weak imitation of Masterpiece theater theme being played on a kazoo is heard in the background. Vid-cam zooms in on a small library-type room and a comfy red easy chair where Cherry Blossom is currently sitting, smoking a pipe and reading a book.

Cherry Blossom: Welcome back minna! This is the SIXTH episode of 'Theater and I just want to take a minute to thank all my devoted fans.

Wufei: DIEEEEEEEEEE!!!! DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: Er….yeah. Well, I just want you guys to know that I appreciate all the reviews and poems you've sent in, even if the Evil Mr. Thorpe-

*crash of thunder and lightning*

Cherry Blossom: *sigh* Matteo…

Matteo: It wasn't me this time, I SWEAR.

Cherry Blossom: Then who…?

Duo: *up in the sound effects box* Hiyee guys! Nice view! I can see…..the ceiling from here. Hmmm….someone needs to give this place a good cleaning.

Heero: Duo you baka! Get down here, now.

Duo: 'Kay. *tries to exit the sound affects box via the ladder. Ladder falls over. Duo grabs onto the GIGANTIC tree that the Gratuitous Evil Laughter Club has donated for Christmas. Dangles there for a while* Heeeeeeeeeelp!

Wufei: Buahahahahahahaha!! You're such a moron, Maxwell.

Duo: GET ME DOWN!!

Cherry Blossom: *snickers* You look so silly. I need to break out into song….*sings* Ding Dong Merrily On High!

Duo: THAT'S NOT FUNNY!

Quatre: *grins* Yes it is.

Duo: *pouts* Es tu, Quatre?

Wufei: Es who?

Cherry Blossom: *still snickering* Hold on a sec. Matteo, could you get the ladder please?

Matteo: Sure. *puts ladder back up against the tree. Duo climbs down. But not before getting scratched numerous times by pine needles*

Duo: I've got owies. Booooooh ;_;

Cherry Blossom: Aw, c'mon. Cheer up! It's another Episode of Crappy Poem Theater! Yay!!

G-Boyz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: *wincing* I've got to invest in some earmuffs. Well, let's go straight to Reviewer's Corner.

Reviewer's Corner

Vid-cam zooms in on Cherry Blossom sitting at a desk with Matteo with a whole lot 'o letters spread around them. The G-Boyz are sitting beside the desk in comfy leather chairs stolen from Grand and To….uh….someplace.

Cherry Blossom: Whoa. How much you wanna bet we get more mail than Santa Clause?

Duo: Ooooh, that reminds me! I have to mail in my list.

Wufei: *snorts* You actually BELIEVE in that kind of thing, Maxwell?

Quatre: You mean you don't?

Wufei: Of course not!

Duo: Well, I can see SOMEONE'S getting a big ol' lump of coal in his stocking.

Wufei: Feh.

Duo: I want a DVD player and some CD's and ummm…….a Sony Playstation and……POCKY!! LOTS AND LOTS OF POCKY!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Quatre: I need some new shirts. All the ones I have are PINK. Do you KNOW how humiliating it is to have to wear PINK SHIRTS?

Trowa: I just want to get through Christmas without having to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" or "White Christmas".

Cherry Blossom: But Tro~waaa! It's tradition!

Trowa: I hate Bing Crosby.

Wufei: You guys are all nuts.

Heero: I'm asking for a new beam cannon.

Wufei: Heero! You too?

Heero: Hn…

Cherry Blossom: We're wasting time. Matteo, could you begin the letters please?

Matteo: *clears throat* Our first reviewer was Kai who wrote,

LOL!! I would love to cow the better part of Duo...::snickers::

Duo: *blushes*

Wufei: *gags*

Trowa: *looks uninterested*

Heero: *bored*

Quatre: *looks confused*

Matteo: I said 20 rosaries for you, Cherry Blossom, so that you may be delivered from the evil of these evil poems...

Cherry Blossom: Great! Wait…I'm not Catholic…

Trowa: What are you?

Cherry Blossom: Ancient Druid.

Quatre: *big eyes* Really?

Matteo: She's kidding.

Cherry Blossom: *pouts* Spoil my fun. Read!

Matteo: Okay, okay. Sheesh. Ginga writes,

*blinks* I now vow NEVER to read William Shakespeare. EVER. Who in their right mind writes about wind with teeth?

Wufei: Willie never claimed to be in his right mind.

Duo: Nope. He was in the WRONG mind.

Heero: *groans*

Quatre: I guess that would have to be your mind, wouldn't it, Duo?

Duo: *shocked* Quatre!

Trowa and Wufei: *snicker*

Matteo: Oh, and hi Dilly-sama!!!! I WUV YOU!!!!!

Dilly: *from somewhere in the Theater* BUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: He'd better not go near the Christmas tree….*looks of horror* Uh…I'm gonna go check on something. Excuse me. Keep reading! *pops out*

Matteo: Oh, and I wuv you too, Duo!! ^_^ Very funny Cherry!! More!! More!!

Duo: *beams* Everybody loves me!

Heero: *snorts*

Trowa: You're just huffy because there hasn't been any Heero worshipping reviews yet.

Heero: HUFFY?!

Matteo: SaiyanGrrrl666 writes,

heeheehee!!!! I didn't know that Willie wrote some of the most confusing stories in the history of poems!!! oh well...I still think that if things get out of hand, give Heero the gun back! I still think that Duo needs his scythe! domoreverysoonorI'lldosomethingdrastic!!!!

Duo: Whoa! Calm down! It's only a show.

Wufei: A CRAPPY show.

Cherry Blossom: *pops back in* Hey! I heard that!

Matteo: Evil Anime Chick writes,

Those poems made no since at all. Hmm...if Hee-chan can have water guns...::tosses Heero a Super Soaker (they're the new ones, I forgot what they're called )

Heero: *pumps super soaker* Heheheh…

Everybody else: *inches away*

Cherry Blossom: I just like to remind everybody that these are LEATHER seats. Any water gets on these and I'll squash you like a bug.

Heero: : p

Matteo: Shinigami no Kamikaze writes,

*laughing hysterically* Shakespeare is horrible! Everyone always dies in his tragedies (well, in the three I read). They tend to drop like flies in the last act... *makes a face* not to mention the incest in Hamlet. Anyway, kewl episode. But it's hard to feel pity for them this week when I've had to suffer Shakespeare, too. Oh well.. *throws out pocky to Duo and Wufei* There's the pocky I couldn't give you last week since Hwoarang ate it. He'd be here to say he's sorry, but he's still in traction... *waves and poofs*

Duo and Wufei: POCKY!!! *scarfs down pocky*

Trowa, Quatre, Heero: *pout* Hey! Where's ours?

Cherry Blossom: And me. No one ever remembers the authoress. Boooooooooh ;_;

Duo: *mouth full of pocky* But you can just zap up stuff.

Cherry Blossom: That's not the POINT! *weeps*

Matteo: *sigh* Desperate Angel says,

Mmm...wet Duo. I like the thought of that. *throws a few buckets of water on the poor Shinigami*

Duo: *sputter, sputter, cough* Hey! What's the big idea?!

Matteo: I think everyone ought to have a ma..erm...water gun. It could make things go much easier, ne? *evil laugh* You know, it's funny but I actually sort of....liked reading Willy's plays. I mean, yeah, they were sad as shinola and sometimes incomprehensible, but they had a certain thing going for them.

Wufei: What's shinola?

Trowa: Isn't that the stuff you put on shoes to make them black?

Quatre: *starts laughing*

Trowa: What?

Quatre: *still laughing*

Matteo: Don't know, does that make me weird?

Heero: YES!

Cherry Blossom: I dunno. I liked Macbeth. The witches were cool.

Matteo: Anyway, this is still the funniest thing I've read all day. I just hope the poor G-Boys don't take it too badly. Oh yeah, last thing. If you think Trowa-kun's ticklish, you should try Hee-chan. Oh well, just a suggestion. Ja ne! *glomps Quatre, blows kisses to Duo (then pours a final bucket on 'im), and offers the rest Nilla*

Quatre: Urgh.

Duo: Mmmm….kisses. Next time…CHOCOLATE KISSES!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA-<splash> *cough, sputter, cough* HEY!!!!

Wufei: What's Nilla?

Cherry Blossom: As long as you can eat it, I don't care. Oh…..Heero….

Heero: What?

Cherry Blossom: TICKLE TICKLE TICKLE!!!! *tickles Heero*

Heero: Wait…what are you…BuahahahahahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH A!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!! OMEO O KOROSU!!

Cherry Blossom: *sighs* That was fun.

Matteo: Mistress of Death writes,

Why, Cherry Blossom, why did you take the gun from Heero?

Heero: Yeah, why?

Cherry Blossom: Quiet you.

Matteo: He needed it to kill Shakespeare (die Shakespeare, die), damn torturer of AP English classes. Once again, die, Shakespeare, die, rot in hell.

Quatre: Something tells me that she's not a Shakepeare fan.

Trowa: Whatever makes you say that?

Cherry Blossom: You know, this sarcasm thing is getting waaaaaaaaaaay out of hand with you, Trowa.

Trowa: You think?

Cherry Blossom: Arrrrrrrrrrrrgh!

Matteo: Other than that, thanks for more funny GW boy torture. *evil grin* *slips Heero another gun on the sly*

Heero: GUN! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA<Cherry takes the gun away>NOOOOOOOO!!! WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?!

Cherry Blossom: You're too obsessed with firearms. I bet those aren't even licensed yet! In Canada-

G-Boyz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Wufei: No more "Canada does this" lectures. We don't care if you're a Canuk.

Cherry Blossom: But…Canada….everyone needs to hear about Canada! It's the greatest place in the world!

Duo: Then how come you go to Buffalo to shop, hmmm?

Cherry Blossom: Okay, so we have a minor problem with tax. So what? We've got……..*starts to sing* My country's bigger than most/ And if asked I boast/ 'Cause I'm really proud/So I shout it loud/Though our numbers are few/We will welcome youuuuuuuuuuu!!

Wufei: NO!

Heero: Now, you've done it. You set her off.

Duo: I didn't mean to!

Trowa: Too late…

Quatre: *starts to cry*

Cherry Blossom: Although we don't have history/Gold medal winning teams/Heroes or prisoners/World famous volcanoes/Still what we've got's glorious!!

Matteo: *sigh* Let's just move on. kelly writes,

Poor Hee-chan! He's my favorite character! Hee-chan needs a hug! *gets evil glint in her eye, then runs and glomps Heero* ^___^

Heero: Urg.

Duo: There you go, Hee-chan. Someone likes you.Heero: *blushes* Hn…

Cherry Blossom: 'Cause we've got /Rocks and trees /And trees and rocks/And rocks and trees/And trees and rocks/And rocks and trees/And trees and rocks/And rocks and trees/And trees and rocks

Quatre: Stop it!

Cherry Blossom: And water ^__^

Matteo: Amalia R James writes,

LOL... must impart the knowledge that Trident means "three teeth." ^_^

Duo: GUM! Wait…there's no gum here. You tricked me!

Cherry Blossom: All right, everyone!

G-Boyz: *groan*

Cherry Blossom: *glare* SING!

Everybody…even Dilly: We've got/Rocks and trees/And trees and rocks/And rocks and trees/And trees and rocks/And rocks and trees/And trees and rocks/And rocks and trees/And trees and rocks

Quatre: And water.

Cherry Blossom: In Canada, Canada, Canada, Canada, Canada, Canada, Canada, Canada

Canada, Canada, Canada, Canada, Canada, Canada, Canada, Canadaaaaaaaaaaa!!

Heero: Please….help us….

Matteo: Cleckmoon writes,

No bashing? Why not? ::hides anvil:: Another kickin segment! Hey look! I'm hamsterdancing! ::hamsterdances::Cherry Blossom: EVERYBODY POLKAMON…er….HAMSTER DANCE! *hamsterdances*

Trowa: This keeps on getting weirder…

Matteo: Anyway... Ooh! So you DO like the Underground!

Cherry Blossom: *stops hamsterdancing to stare in shock* Do I like the Underground?! HELL YEAH!!! I like Flypipe the best. That guy is coooooooooool ^__^

Matteo: Hey, Heero, do you like the Underground? You get a realy cool fake leg and everything! Wear spandex with THAT!

Heero: I could…but it'd ruin the effect.

Duo: *rolls eyes* Whatever.

Matteo: Anyway, I must get started on part 13.

Cherry Blossom: *zero look* Yes, you must.

Matteo: Will that make you happy, Cherry-sama?

Cherry Blossom: MORE UNDERGROUND!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! *runs amuck in extreme hyperness for awhile*

Matteo: BTW! Your exposure of the Underground to the rest of the fic world has increased my hits two fold! But not a heck of alot of reveiws...

Cherry Blossom: All right. Everybody reading this, go out and review Cleckmoon's fics. Now. Go on. Get your buts out of here. Don't worry we'll wait for you. And leave a GOOD review.

Matteo: Anyway, Ya'll love me anyway! -Cleckmoon! The amazing hare person with no life besides the computer, who spends her time writing screenplays about hamsters, and fics about her little world. HEY HO LARRIO!!!

Larrio: *pops in* What?

Cherry Blossom: Dang! That was supposed to be the pizza guy. Oh well…

Larrio: Erm…could you tell me what I'm doing here?

Trowa: None of us really knows why we were thrust into this cruel and uncaring stage called life…

Duo: Trowa…

Trowa: What?

Duo: Quit playing with the guy's head.

Matteo: Hawk writes,

I AM NOT LIKE (SHE WHO'S NAME MUST NOT BE SPOKEN IN HAWK'S PRESENCE)!!!!!* Hawk looks for her newest Hechler and Koch gun. Die accuse me of being like the BiTcH and you will die Heero!

Heero: Huh?

Duo: I think this was from last episode when you said that Hawk was like Rel-

Heero: *claps hand of Duo's mouth* Don't say it!

Matteo: Cherry help! we are suffering the wraith if the evil poetry at our school!!!

Cherry Blossom: Best cure for that is lots and lots of riffing ^__^

Matteo: Don't worry Wu-man, I know that you are one of the smartest, strongest and coolest dude in the world!

Wufei: *smirks*

Quatre: Aw, stuff it pant freak.

Everybody: QUATRE?!

Quatre: What?

Heero: He's been corrupted by all the evil poems.

Matteo: Hey Duo, give This gun i left here to Heero. After all Him and I need to go Relena Hunting. * Hawk leaves a Navy Seal Issue semi automatic here.

Cherry Blossom: *takes the gun away* Honestly people, how many times do I have to tell you? NO GUNS!!

Heero: *pouts*

Matteo: White Blaze Wannabe writes,

Heh...Willie was on crack...or something, most definately. Why did you give Duo sugar? That's just asking for it!

Cherry Blossom: Umm…..cause I thought it would be interesting? I dunno.

Wufei: 'Cause she's an onna. And she likes chocolate.

Matteo: Lucky Yuy and Chetiche Barton write,

Lucky:YAY!My poem got in!YOU OWE ME 20$ CHET!Chetiche:*reluctantly forks over 20$*Why me?Lucky:MWAHAHA!!!!!!!!!I LOVE KEN-CHAN!Chetiche:*sigh*Ever snce the Ken digimon episode on Sat.she's been like this...

Cherry Blossom: I saw that episode. *sniff* It was so sad and mushy *weep*. SAPPYNESS FOREVER!!!

Lucky:I CAN FLY BECAUSE I'M SHIMEGAMI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*falls off cliff*Chetiche:O.OYeah...and she just had chocolate from an advent calender...........Lucky:*smashed*Ow...Chetiche:The only thing that doesn't keep her from killing herself*motions to cliff*is Crappy Poem Theater...Lucky:Hello?OW! Chetiche:Yeah...I'm gonna take her to a hospitable...keep writing...she might knock some sense into her...Lucky:*dazed*I'm SHIMEGAMI!!!!!!!!!!!!Chetiche:Yeah..well umm...Ja ne!

Wufei: See all the trouble your series is causing?

Heero: Yeah, I think you should stop the pain now.

Cherry Blossom: *thinks a bit* Mmm…no.

Matteo: Lig Maxwell writes,

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh god,these just get better every time! And Dilly-san was in it too! Yay!*grins* You HAVE to do more of these..or else!*holds up gun and throws it to Hee-chan*now you don't have any reason to kill me!*grins*

Cherry Blossom: *snaps her fingers and the gun turns into a box of socks (what Cherry-chan got for Christmas last year ;_; Booooooooooh)*

Heero: Hey!

Matteo: Oh,and for Duo-koi...*throws him 10 boxes of pocky*Love ya lots,Du-chan! Ja ne!

Duo: *heart eyes* All this pocky. All for ME!!

Quatre: You could share….

Matteo: Valwen Isilme writes,

*patpats Quatre* Sorry about the Songs of Innocence mention last review. Good as always Cherry keep them coming ^^ *hands a box of Pixi Stix to each of the guys* the tide ya over, have fun! ^^v

G-Boyz: PIXIE STIX ^__^

Cherry Blossom: *pouts* And again I am forgotten.

Matteo: Jillypuff writes,

This series is great so far! Especially this episode. Those Shakespeare poems were definately not his finer moments (especially 'Blow Thou Winter Wind'- we had to sing that in choir, and it was mildly frightening.)

Wufei: *chokes on Pixie Stick* Sing….?

Matteo: Keep it up. Oh, and give poor Trowa some pocky.

Trowa: Yeah, give poor Trowa the pocky.

Cherry Blossom: You've already got Pixie Stix. There are starving kids in Africa, ya know.

Trowa: And your point is…

Matteo: Teague writes,

hehe... what can I say? Hey, isn't Shakespeare supposed to be a GOOD writer??

Quatre: Even the best can have an off day.

Heero: And Shakespeare was having a reeeeeeealy off day.

Matteo: Hmm.... oh, well... and wufei, I saved that strawberry pocky just for you! Aren't you glad?

Wufei: Strawberry pocky is an injustice. Everyone knows that chocolate pocky is the BEST.

Matteo: Caro-chan writes,

Yaaaaaaaaaay! I've been waiting all week for episode 5 to come up! It was worth the wait! (Evil grin) Can you ask Dilly-sama if he could be my accountant, too? There's nothing better than the smell of torched bills.

Dilly: *locked in a room far FAR away from the Christmas tree* BUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRNNNNNNN!!!!

Matteo: Duo, if I had my way, I'd give you all the pocky in the world. (Blows him a kiss)

Duo: *dreamy look*

Cherry Blossom: *hums "Sweet Nothings"*

Matteo: I like strawberry pocky! (Then again, that's the only kind I've ever had... ;_;)

Wufei: *shocked* Somebody get this girl some chocolate pocky NOW!

Matteo: Keep on pumping out these CPT's, Cherry-sama! You rule! (Bows deeply)

Cherry Blossom: I RULE! *dances around the room* I ruuule. I ruuuuule. I ruuuuuuuule!!!!

Matteo: Salior Anime/Wufei's Onna write,

Oh my GaWd....How can you sit there and do that to the poor Gboys and my poor Koi???? Probally very easily...... Fei... You've definatly got the cutest ass!!!!!!! Just wanted you to know that koi...I miss you.. (Meet ya afterwards..K???)

Everybody: *stares at Wufei*

Wufei: *blushes* What?

Gboys your all really cool ,But I just love my koi ^_^ Heero ,I got more guns for ya> Quatre>Here ya go*Hands Quatre some earplugs* Duo>Here's your christmas present >*Holds out a cross* Trowa> *Holds out Pocky boxes* Cherry Blossom :Keep it up girl, ya know you're cool so I don't have to say it Matteo>You're just hilarious Keep it up you guys!!!!!! Wufei ...Koi ..LOve ya babe *blows kisses*

Duo: PRESENTS!

Cherry Blossom: I'm thinking special Christmas addition next week.

G-Boyz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: Can I use your ear plug, Q-chan?

Matteo: sabacat writes,

Boy does Duo have the sweet tooth from hell or what?!? Since you refuse to toss him Hilde as a treat to munch on *POUT* maybe you should look into some low fat pocky or some slim-fast! *holds out cherry cordial to Duo, then tosses it out the door where he follows and is promptly pounced on by Hilde* ^_~ *Hilde sticks tongue out at Cherry-chan*

Cherry Blossom: Oh no you don't. *boots Hilde out the door*

Duo: B-but-

Cherry Blossom: Silence! You guys can get together later. Like in my next part of Just Another Phase (shameless plug). For now, we have work to do.

Duo: *pouts*

Cherry Blossom: Y'know. She's right. You guys are getting a little chunky. NO MORE POCKY OR SWEETS!!

G-Boyz: Wha?????

Cherry Blossom: *replaces all sugary-junk with healthy stuff*

Wufei: Yogurt….INJUSTICE!!

Duo: Noooooooooo! My pocky!! *weeps*

Heero: Omeo o korosu!!

Trowa: I'm NOT chunky.

Quatre: Booooooooh ;_;

Cherry Blossom: Stop whining and have a low-fat carrot stick.

Heero: *grabs a carrot stick and munches on it VERY LOUDLY*

Matteo: Rebecca the Great writes,

Teeheeteehee! Hilarious MST, as always! ^_^ Good gods does Shakespeare have some crappy ramblings. But why is everyone so mean to Fei-babe in reviews? He may be a bit of a chauvanist, but underneathe it all he's just a big ol' teddy bear! ^_~ Luv ya, 'Fei, and your pants are COOL, no matter what Dark Heart says! ^_^

Wufei: Yes my pants ARE cool and…..TEDDY BEAR?! INJUSTICE!!

Heero: *CRUNCH, SNAP, MUNCH*

Matteo: Corazon del Fuego writes,

Alas, poor Shinigami... I knew him, Matteo. *would continue mis-quoting Shakespeare if not for the fact he has seen _more_ than enough olde English for one day* -_-' tsk, tsk you are being soooo mean Cherry-sama. First, you take away Heero's gun (leaving him open and defenseless to sudden Bitchcraft attacks). Then you cut off Du-chan's supply of pocky. It's *whispering so Wufei can't hear* an INJUSTICE!!!!

Duo: *sulking* Damn right.

Matteo: ^_^ heh, love ya' Wu-man. Well, that's pretty much it for me. Until the next episode adou, parting is such sweet... awww smeg, there I go again.

Cherry Blossom: The more people who say "smeg" the happier the place will be.

Heero: Riiiiiiight.

Matteo: Juliana Kintobor writes,

You know what? I hope this thing gets to episode 1,999,999 and a half ... sorry G-boyz but it's so funny to see you tortured like that ... heh heh heh ...

[looks at Heero who is pointing a gun at her] Uh, heh hee hee ...?

Cherry Blossom: *poofs the gun out of existence* What did I tell you about guns?

Heero: Smeg.

Matteo: Shakespere and his damn iambic pentameter are EVIL, man! I'm gonna go with Dilly here ... BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURN! You know who's poems you should MST? E. E. Cummings. His poems look like puzzles. If you can find "Old Age Sticks", it'd be a good one to MST. (I can't e-mail it to you 'cuz my parents don't let me e-mail people I "don't know".) Anyway, I love these things ... ^_^ Keep it up!

Cherry Blossom: That's funny…I don't know ANY of the people I e-mail.

Matteo: Treize (not the hamster) writes,

Excellent, dear lady *gives her a rose*

Cherry Blossom: *sniffs rose* Awww…

Matteo: But I _DO_ wish you would spare Wufei-san this torture. It affects his performance in bed, and myself, Zechs, Lady Une, and Sally Po sincerely wish him to be up to his *raises one eyebrow* maximum potential. *waves at Wufei* Good luck, my Dragon! *jumps into bed with the three previously mentioned figures* We'll be waiting for you!

Everyone: O_0

Duo: WU-MAN!!

Wufei: I didn't do it! I didn't do it!!

Cherry Blossom: Ew….that's gross.

Matteo: But I thought you liked yaoi.

Cherry Blossom: Yeah but…..this is Trieze, Zechs, Lady Une, and Sally Po. They're….OLD.

Matteo: Little green writes,

Hello! I see Treize did a good job at ensuring the security!

Cherry Blossom: Yep. Trieze was the best bodyguard I ever saw.

Quatre: He bit us!!

Cherry Blossom: Yeah….so?

Matteo: Also, you were right! NO POCKY FOR TROWA!! And Matteo... Poor, poor Matteo... I don't know which is worse : being forced to wear a traditional costume or being molested by Treize... So I suggest you keep doin' him both!!!! BWUAUAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! And as for Heero... Wheeew... Did he actually do a... JOKE??? O_O I wanna see that again... Just to be sure...

Duo: Heero did a joke? Where?!

Heero: Hn…

Matteo: No more costumes. Or hamsters.

Cherry Blossom: Sure, sure *crosses fingers behind back*.

Matteo: Meg Uchuno ( again, you people must be really tired of me now, ne? )

Trowa: Yes.

Matteo: Ossu minna-san! I can not get enough of these poems! They are soooooo crappy! Gomen for sending Relena into this. I thought it would be funny! ::looks to see the g-guys glaring at her:: I THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY! ::sigh:: you people have no sense of humor what-so-ever. Well, i have to go, but i want to give a shout out to Duo ( the best damn pilot even though he looks like a girl ),

Duo: Thanks! *thinks a bit* Hey, wait a minute…

Matteo: Wufei ( Mr. I-love-Nataku-and-I-probly-wear-tighty-whites )

Cherry Blossom: Do you?

Wufei: Do I what, onna?

Cherry Blossom: Wear tighty whiteys?

Wufei: *blushes, sputters* That's none of your business!

Cherry Blossom: *thinking of ways to find out* Hehehe…

Matteo: and Matteo ( the guy who deserves to be better treated by Blossom-san! ) Well, thats it! Sayonora! Come out with the next part quicky!

Cherry Blossom: Wow, Matteo. You're getting quite a following. Maybe you should get your own show.

Matteo: Do you mean it!

Cherry Blossom: ….no.

Matteo: *pouts* Corra Mereel writes,

ROTFLMAO!!! That was SOOOOOO funny!! I'll never look at English class the same again. Yes!! Canadians RULE!!!! Oh, and stop picking on my poor Duo *;-}

Duo: Yeah, stop picking on Duo.

Cherry Blossom: CANADA!! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *sings*We're proud to be Canadian (Proud to be Canadian)/We're awfully nice to strangers, our manners be our curse (Can I get the door for you, Ma'am)/It's cool in many ways to be Canadian (It's cool 'cause it's cold up here)/We won't say that we're better (no), it's just that we're less worse/We won't say that we're better, it's just that we're less worse!

Quatre: What's wrong with her?

Trowa: Went to an Arrogant Worms concert. Got hyper.

Quatre: Oh.

Matteo: Dariana Night writes,

*glomps onto Wu-koi and kisses him while he tries unsucessfully to pry her off with a crowbar*

Wufei: Get….this…..onna…..OFF ME!!!

Duo: *snickers* I think you're stuck like that Wu-man.

Matteo: Black Tiger writes,

HEY CHERRY-SAMMA! (STARTS TO CRY) I'M SO WEAK-HEARTED! AFTER THE LAST STORY I HAVE COME TO THE CONCLUTION I CAN ONLY HATE WOLFY. HEERO'S ASS IS TOO CUTE, DUO'S TOO KAWII, QUATRE REMINDS ME OF A BEAUTIFUL ANGEL,AND TROWA'S QUIET DEMENER MAKES HIM TOO ADORABLE. WUFIE CAN THANK GOD(YES I MEAN DUO)I DON'T KILL HIM.I TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID ABOUT HEERO,QUATRE,AND TROWA LUV YA BEYZ BlackTiger

Dariana Night: *deathglares* Don't diss my Wu-koi.

Cherry Blossom: Er….I think it's time for you to go. Goodbye! *zaps her out of the fic*

Matteo: Elentari writes,

Hi, Dilly-sama! I'm a psychopath too! (just a really hyper one) And here I thought Shakespeare was a good writer...Yes Heero, I am having fun! Wind with teeth. THAT is going to give me nightmares. Canada rules!!!!! You can get pocky there too. More!!!! Ja! *disappears in a poof of smoke*

Cherry Blossom: Yes you can get pocky in Canada. I get mine from………..LONGOS!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Matteo: The_Wise_Insane_one writes,

You have a talent ;_;

Duo: Why's he/she crying?

Cherry Blossom: *sniff* I'm overcome with emotion too. *weeps*

Trowa: *sighs*

Matteo: Kiyone writes,

HAHAHA!!!! i love these things!!! lol Yea! Go Dilly Go!!!! *stands up and cheers* lol keep writing more!! umm... sorry Duo! ^_^ i still luv u!!!

Trowa: Whoo hoo. Yeah. Go.

Cherry Blossom: ENTHUSIASM!!

Trowa: : p

Matteo: Nightheart writes,

I love these poetry MST's, they're wonderful! I cannot wait to read your next one! Write again soon, I'll be watching for it! ~Nightheart.

Quatre: This is soon enough.

Wufei: Too soon.

Matteo: TrowasGirl writes,

k...I'm not sure is ive ever ever heard of the word 'unthrifts'. Also i Have to Agree with Cherry-san Canada Kicks A.S.S!

Cherry Blossom: *opens her mouth*

G-Boyz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: *closes mouth*

Matteo: Oh yeah i have some crappy poems i'll send in. Love ya lot's Trowa! Love ya Heero! Love ya Duo! Love ya Quatre! Love ya WuWu! But of coruse I love Trowa the most! *hands Trowa a few daggers* Keep on tourting them Cherry!

Trowa: Hmm….

Cherry Blossom: No sharp things! *takes them away*

Matteo: Dark Heart writes,

Okay, okay, I won't do any more Wufei bashing... I happen to like Shakespeare, but those were probably his worst. Still funny, still want more... Bye the way Heero *sneaks him a gun* go kill "your stalker" for me, would you? She has been getting on my nerves lately.

Heero: *pockets gun before Cherry can take it* Hehehe…

Cherry Blossom: Aren't you forgetting something, Heero?

Heero: Like what?

Cherry Blossom: *shows bullets she has zapped out of the gun*

Heero: Smeg.

Matteo: Shinimegami Winner writes,

MWahahahahahahah!!! ADVENT CALENDER!!! ADVENT CALENDER!!! WHOOOOOOOO!!! Erm... sorry... (Nanashi Neko appears: "This is the Goddess of Death on Chocolate and Caffeine... Any questions?" Shini bonks the cat-muse in the head) Sorry... Whooo, you must continue! I can't begin to express how funny this is! Oh, and Wufei... My pet bear, Teddy, wishes to meet you! Oh well... I'm off to eat some more chocolate... I think I'm getting one of those little boot thingys... Ciao! (Poof)... (Repoof) Oh, and my I recommend a VERY crappy poem...'tis entitled "Terrence, this is stupid stuff" Believe me... It really IS stupid stuff... (Poof, once again)...

G-Boyz: O_0

Quatre: Oookaaaaaay.

Matteo: Tsuki Yuuki writes,

*LMMFAO* my English teacher would like that one. wanna hear an injustice? a painting of a hippy Willie!!!! itz truly scary!!!!!!

Wufei: Nooooooooo!! Hippies!! Killthemkillthemkillthemkillthem!!!

Matteo: GeminiTiger writes,

Hey, Heero, too bad Shakespeare's dead, huh? You can't kill someone who's already dead. And please don't make fun of Wufei. He's so cool, and I haven't been to China yet, but I want to, and China sounds like a cool place to visit. Oh, I have a Japanese friend, too! Her name's Ayako. She's cool. Anyway, Quatre, you should come to my house for tea. How about Raspberry Zinger? It's my fave. Well, this is too long, so I'm leaving now. Bye!! I

Quatre: Tea….

Matteo: LOVE YOU, WUFEI!! YOU KICK ASS!!!

Wufei. Yes…I do.

Matteo: Ryoko, P-Chan, Kizuchi, Kaori, and Onna Deathsythe write,

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! We can't stop laughing! Kaori has some crappy ancient egyptian poetry she wants to send you....whenever she can find it.

Cherry Blossom: Egyptian poetry, eh? Can't wait.

Don't worry boys the Relena Haters' Club is working on a way to get you out of there.

Heero: Work FAST!!

Cherry Blossom: *creepy voice* There is no way out. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Matteo: And finally, Toucan writes,

HOLY $HIT!! I'M THE 40TH REVIEWER!!!

Cherry Blossom: No way! Forty reviews? *looks up and counts all the reviews she just did* WOW!! I feel so loved *sniff*

Matteo: OO Ok, I have just read through these from the first to the fifth, and I can't wait for the next one!! ^^ And, uh, DUO-SAMA RULES!!!! ^^ Also, we studied poetry for the whole first quarter of the school year, BUT NONE OF THEM WERE AS HORRIBLE AS THOSE!! And maybe one of the effects of Shakepeare's pot (besides the poetry ^^;;) was the funky clothes. POOR MATTEO!!! Ja ne!

Cherry Blossom: Jaa!!

Matteo: Yes…poor Matteo. I need a drink.

Cherry Blossom: Have some tea.

Quatre: TEA!!

Duo: Well that took forever.

Cherry Blossom: Right. We're wasting time. Let's get on with the show.

Crappy Poem Theater (for real this time)

Scene changes to a darkened theater where five familiar figures are seated.

Cherry Blossom: *pops in out of no where* Hiyee!! Time for another crappy poem! This one is…..well it sucks. And it's really long!

G-Boyz: *groan*

Cherry Blossom: First of all, the disclaimer.

Disclaimer: Everybody who thinks that I own anything should be drug out into the street and shot. Thank you.

G-Boyz: *blink*

Cherry Blossom: Right! Snap ass, people!

Duo: Huh?

Cherry Blossom: We need to get this show on the road. So without further ado, I give you……….Matteo!

Matteo: *clears throat*

The Thorn

Wufei: *chokes* Someone wrote a poem about a….thorn?

Trowa: Apparently.

By: William Wordsworth

Quatre: Wait! I know that name! Hey..he was supposed to be a good poet.

Heero: So was Shakespeare.

Part I.

Duo: There's so many lines that he has to separate them into parts?

Trowa: I don't like this…

There is a thorn; it looks so old,

Heero: And we care………why?

In truth you'd find it hard to say,

How it could ever have been young,

Duo: How it could ever have been so young. Nope, I didn't find that hard to say.

It looks so old and grey.

Quatre: Whoa, déjà vu!Not higher than a two-year's child,

Quatre: *disgusted* Two-year old's can't have children!

Trowa: I think he means a two year old child.

Quatre: Oh. Then why doesn't he just say that?

Duo: 'Cause that would make sense.

It stands erect

Duo: *opens mouth*

Cherry Blossom: NO BAKA HENTAI!!

Duo: *closes mouth*this aged thorn;

No leaves it has, no thorny points;

Wufei: Wait, wait. The THORN has no THORNY points?

Trowa: That's what he said.

Cherry Blossom: This is so confusing.

It is a mass of knotted joints,

A wretched thing forlorn.Cherry Blossom: Reminds me of my Home Ec teacher. Quatre: Cherry! That's meeeeeeaaaaaaaaan!

It stands erect, and like a stone

Duo: *opens mouth*

Heero: *deathglareX100*

Duo: *closes mouth*

With lichens it is overgrown.

Wufei: *imitates Spock* Fascinating…

Part II.

Everybody: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Like rock or stone, it is o'ergrown

With lichens to the very top,Quatre: Didn't we just hear this? Wufei: I'd like to think that I haven't but….

And hung with heavy tufts of moss,

A melancholy crop:

Duo: How can moss be melancholy?

Trowa: It's called personfication.

Duo: Whatever.Up from the earth these mosses creep,

Wufei: Ooooooooh. Creeping moss. Big Whoop.

Cherry Blossom: That's whoop. As in "Whoopie!".

And this poor thorn they clasp it round

So close, you'd say that they were bent

With plain and manifest intent,

To drag it to the ground;

Quatre: I thought the thorn was already on the ground.

Duo: Well you thought wrong.And all had joined in one endeavour

To bury this poor thorn for ever.

Heero: And still no one has told me why I should care.

Part IV.

Trowa: What happened to Part III?

Cherry Blossom: I cut it out. It wasn't relevant.

Wufei: And the rest of it IS?

And close beside this aged thorn,

There is a fresh and lovely sight,

A beauteous heap, a hill of moss,

Duo: This guy had a thing for moss.

Quatre: And thorns.

Cherry Blossom: And pointless, meaningless poems. I'm just gonna cut out the rest of this stanza because it's too stupid.

Part V.

Trowa: This is getting tiresome.

Duo: How many parts does this thing have anyway?

Cherry Blossom: Ummm….*checks* 23.

G-Boyz: *in horror* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: Don't worry. I'll cut out most of it.

Ah me! what lovely tints are there!

Of olive-green and scarlet bright,

In spikes, in branches, and in stars,

Green, red, and pearly white.

This heap of earth o'ergrown with moss,

Quatre: *sobs* No more moss!

Duo: This guy is obsessed.Which close beside the thorn you see,

So fresh in all its beauteous dyes,

Is like as like can be:

But never, never any where,

An infant's grave was half so fair.Everybody: O_0

Cherry Blossom: Whaa?

Part VI.

Now would you see this aged thorn,

This pond and beauteous hill of moss,

You must take care and chuse your time

The mountain when to cross.

Wufei: "Chuse"?

Quatre: Maybe he means "choose"?For oft there sits, between the heap

That's like an infant's grave in size,

And that same pond of which I spoke,

A woman in a scarlet cloak,

And to herself she cries,

Heero: *as woman* GET ME OUT OF THIS DAMN POEM!!

"Oh misery! Oh misery!

"Oh woe is me! oh misery!"

Heero: Close enough.

Part VII.

At all times of the day and night

This wretched woman thither goes,Quatre: Thither? Where's that? Duo: Oklahoma. Quatre: Really? Cherry Blossom: He's kidding, Quatre.

And when the whirlwind's on the hill,

Or frosty air is keen and still,

And to herself she cries,

"Oh misery! oh misery!

"Oh woe is me! oh misery!"

Trowa: Redundancy is an art.

Duo: And this guy's Picasso.

Part VIII.

"Now wherefore thus, by day and night,

"In rain, in tempest, and in snow,

"Thus to the dreary mountain-top

"Does this poor woman go?Duo: Didn't he just say that she went to the mountain-top? Wufei: Maybe he's just making sure…

"And why sits she beside the thorn

"When the blue day-light's in the sky,

"Or frosty air is keen and still,Cherry Blossom: Who knows? Sitting by a thorn isn't MY favorite passtime.

"And wherefore does she cry? --

"Oh wherefore" wherefore? tell me why

"Does she repeat that doleful cry?"

Heero: Kill meeeeee……..

Part IX.

I cannot tell;

Wufei: Thank God!

Duo: Welcome.

Everybody: Not you!

Duo: sheesh.I wish I could;

For the true reason no one knows,

Duo: Who knows? The Shadow knows! *evil laugh*

Everybody else: O_o

Duo: What?But if you'd gladly view the spot,

The spot to which she goes;

Wufei: We don't care.The heap that's like an infant grave,

Quatre: What's WRONG with this guy?

Heero: Has to be drugs. Lots and lots of drugs.

The pond -- and thorn, so old and grey,

Cherry Blossom: Ah crap. This is getting too repetitive. Look, I'm just going to skip to the last stanza, 'kay?

G-Boyz: Yay!

Part XXIII.

I cannot tell how this may be,

Trowa: Then don't!

But plain it is, the thorn is bound

With heavy tufts of moss, that strive

To drag it to the ground.Wufei: Arrrrrgh!! This is the exact same thing he said in the FIRST stanza!! Cherry blossom: It's like being stuck in the Twilight Zone or something.

And this I know, full many a time,

When she was on the mountain high,

By day, and in the silent night,

Cherry blossom: *sings* Silent night, holy night…

Wufei: INJUSTICE! How dare that kisama use such a beautiful carol in his baka poem?!When all the stars shone clear and bright,

That I have heard her cry,

"Oh misery! Oh misery!

"O woe is me! oh misery!"

Trowa: Riiiiiight.

Duo: That was stupid.

Cherry Blossom: I know. Remind me never to read his stuff EVER.

Quatre: I want to go home.

Heero: Hn…

<ding dong>

Cherry blossom: Matteo, can you get the door?

Matteo: *grumbles* I do everything around here.

Cherry Blossom: *deathglareX20* What was that?

Matteo: Er…nothing. *opens door*

Pizza Guy: You order the pepperoni and mushroom pizza with extra cheese?

Duo: PIZZA!!! *grabs box. runs out of the room* MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Quatre: Wait Duo! I want some!

Pizza guy: Where's my money?

Cherry Blossom: Dilly-sama can you pay the nice man, please?

Dilly: BUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!! *points flamethrower at pizza guy*

Pizza Guy: *frieeeeeees*

Cherry Blossom: He's just SO damn useful. ^__^ Join us next time on Crappy Poem Theater. And if ya wann send me poems write to chibicherryb@hotmail.com. Jaa!!