Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Everbody Breaks ❯ Waking up ( Chapter 3 )

Waking Up

By: Kai

 

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, and I don't think I want to… I mean, if I did I wouldn't want to share because I'm possessive and if I didn't share I would be the recipient of many a death threats…. so lets just be thankful that I don't own Gundam Wing - though, I can't say it wouldn't have it's perks if I did.

 

Ratings: NC-17 (language, sexual content)

 

Warnings: Its yaoi so if you don't like that don't read it. It also has sexual content (shower…. Nuff said), and some bad language.

 

Pairings: Established 1x2x5x3x4 but in this one it's 2x5 and a kiss is shared between 5 and two other pilots so I guess that would be 5+3 and 5+1, I think…

 

Summary: Continuation from where Picking up the Pieces left off. Wufei is trying to sort a few things out still and ends up volunteering to give a hand at the circus… I don't think you'll be able to guess exactly what he helps with though… why not make a guess now before you read and then read it and see if you're right. I really hope you like this!!! Oh and this part is dedicated to those who did reviews and e-mailed me: JupiterKnight, Bombayoni, LadyofDarkness, Niere, and Cero as well as the two e-mailers I had.

 

 

Wufei's POV

 

Short of the introduction and the few short words she gave me, Sensei Kim offered me no further direction. So, I chose to run the class, as I would have if it had been mine. I still decided to keep to the way she'd organized the adult class, though. I was sure that if I did something she didn't approve of she would inform me discreetly. The duration of the class was only an hour and a half - half the time of the adult classes, so I had to remember to shorten the time I devoted to each section: warm up, stretching and training.

 

I decided to start with telling them something about me, other than my name. “Good afternoon class. Since I'm new I'll tell you something about myself and I want you to feel free to do tell me about yourselves in the future if you want. As Sensei Kim said, I am Chang Wufei; Wufei is my given name, Chang is my family name. I am a Preventer Agent.” More than a few eyes widened at that, including Sensei Kim's, it might have been a tad childish but I felt a bit smug at having finally surprised her a little. “I am currently on leave from the Preventers and I am staying with friends here on L4. I have been training in the Martial Arts since before I was five. There is nothing I know more about, however, that does not mean that I know everything there is to know about Martial Arts. There is still a great deal that I can learn. Just because one becomes a teacher does not mean that they stop being a student. I'm not afraid to answer questions so if you have questions feel free to ask before class, during break, or after class. I also enjoy learning new things, so, if you learn something new and you would like to teach me - I will be glad to learn from you. To begin our class today, I think we'll go for a quick run outside - three laps. Collect your shoes please.” The adult class was more disciplined so no one had complained but the children's class was less trained and a tad more raw. Though the children weren't loud or rude I could still hear a number of groans and sighs. I had to fight a smile as I led the way out to the track, not bother with shoes having decided to run without them (it was always good to keep the soles of your feet toughened with calluses). I hadn't enjoyed running when I was younger either, couldn't say that that had changed but I had grown to the point where I knew it to be a means to an end. They would too… in time, lots and lots of time. Despite myself, my grin broke free when I was sure no one could see.

 

******************

 

I ran with them around the track, setting them at a steady pace before moving back through their lines until I was keeping pace with the few who were trailing a great deal behind the others. It had happened in the adult class as well - people trailing behind the others but adults only needed a few words to encourage them (at most times), children were different, they needed a presence to make them feel as if they truly had what it took. I gave them my presence and spared them the words, only locking eyes with each of them to ensure that they knew I believed in them.

 

A place like the Community Gym didn't just instruct those who were well off or the best; it instructed those who wanted to learn, in effect they taught those who not only had a passion and interest for what they were doing but those who deserved to learn. It was obvious if you looked at the class I was teaching. It was made up of children who were athletic and chubby, those who were sick - one child was clutching an inhaler tightly in his hand as he ran, those who were graceful and graceless, those who were confident and those who lacked confidence.

 

The thing that took me a little by surprise was that when the five children I was running with finally huffed and puffed across the finish line, the rest of the class was there cheering them on - looking as proud as if those stragglers I had been running with had competed and won gold in and Olympic marathon. Each of the five children was greeted by pats on the back and high-fives. I stayed back to let them enjoy the moment and was surprised when I felt a tug on my sleeve. Looking down I saw one of the more athletic children peering up at me with dark brown eyes. He couldn't have been more than eight years old. “Yes?”

 

“Thank you.”

 

I blinked at him, “For what?”

 

He swallowed hard but never looked away, “Carla, Steven, Jihee, Lee and Andy have never run the entire way before. They always walk most of it.”

 

I shook my head. “I didn't do anything.”

 

“You ran with them. You chose to run with them, no one has ever done that before.”

 

“You're wrong, they ran with me.”

 

“Yah, but they wouldn't have if you hadn't let them know that you thought they could do it.”

 

And what was I to say to that exactly? What else - change the subject? “What's your name?”

 

“Simon Nichols, Sensei.”

 

“Go collect the others Simon, it's time to get back to class.”

 

“Yes, Sensei.”

 

He ran off to get everyone heading back to class and gave me the time I needed to swallow the lump that had taken residence in my throat.

 

********************

 

An hour and a half later the class ended and I found myself confirming with Sensei Kim that the children's class was at the same time from Monday to Friday. I'd unconsciously decided to agree with her view about me teaching the class but I made sure to tell her that I wasn't sure how long I'd be able to stay. She didn't seem to mind and encouraged me to continue coming to the older classes or drop in whenever I felt the need. Instead of the taxi ride back to the house I opted to walk. It took me about an hour to get back and I was a little tired when I when I walked through the door. I hadn't truly realized how much an emotional upheaval could affect a person physically but the mind was far more powerful than most people gave it credit for. Moving upstairs I had a quick shower and changed into a new pair of jeans and a white tank top.

 

Barefoot I walked around the house, finding Duo still asleep and the rest of the house deserted. I considered taking a nap but dismissed the idea - I'd had enough sleep already, I didn't need anymore. Instead I grabbed my sketchpad and pencils and moved into the library, where I sat on the floor in the corner of the room. I didn't draw or pick up a book though instead I sat there thinking. I tried not to do that too often because my thoughts didn't always flow as other peoples did. My thoughts always seemed to end up back on my colony or with my Clan. It was always something to be able to say that you were part of something so strong that it lasted through millennia and it's something else entirely when you watch something like that destroyed right before your eyes. The Dragon Clan had once been a Clan of Emperors and so much more and now it was a Clan of one.

 

Twirling my pencil I forced my thoughts to what I needed to think about. What would I do when my leave was over? The others might not realize it but Une needed me at HQ and HQ was on Earth. The others all had their lives on L4. Sure I could move to the L4 branch but new recruits were always trained on Earth and I was needed to train them - there were things only I could teach them, well me and the other Gundam Pilots, but the others weren't interested in becoming part of the Agency. They'd made that clear to Commander Une numerous times. True, they helped out on occasion going on missions that, due to timing, I wasn't able to go on by myself or that the other agents were unable to do due to inexperience or lack of skill. Those occasions were rare though, so the chances of having them on Earth very often would be just as rare. Then, because L4 was on one of the few colonies with limited problems, it would also be unlikely if I found myself able to visit them as well.

 

I rubbed my forehead in an attempt to ease the headache that had formed. My leave would probably be cut short the moment Une realized I was fully operational because she couldn't really spare me yet. After only three or four days without me she was probably already counting down the days till my return. She did give me two months, though and I wasn't planning on contacting her for at least another week and a half. I knew my duty and it was selfish of me but I wanted at least a week of happy memories before I was pulled back into the rountine I'd been living. That was providing she didn't contact me first. I was willing to give her two more days before she caved. The Agency was simply too knew to be almost self-running and she didn't really know how much she relied on Sally, Noin, Zechs and I to help with that and though the others did a lot, they had families and lives outside of work, which until recently, I hadn't. So I'd picked up all of the extra slack without complaint. I doubted any of them realized how much work I actually did but they were definitely finding out. More then likely they were also greatly regretting it.

 

That still left the problems of what I was going to do when I got back. I could go back to how it was, which was exactly what would probably happen when I went back. I didn't want that but I couldn't quit and to do anything else would cause unnecessary problems to the others. It seemed inevitable that my life would return to how it had been.

 

Getting up I put everything on the coffee table by the sofa. The house might be too big for my tastes but I couldn't fault anything in the library. According to my watch it was about six forty-five. I decided to check on Duo and I found him curled around a pillow in his bed.

 

I knew it was ill advised to refer to any male over the age of four as cute, after all - I was one of those males, but I couldn't think of any other word to describe him. I carefully sat on the edge of the bed and lightly brushed his bangs away from his face, thinking he was sound asleep. I really should have known better, he was a Gundam Pilot after all.

 

No sooner had I brushed his bangs out of his eyes then I found myself pulled fully against him as he rolled so that he was lying fully on top of me. I could have done a number of things to prevent it or stop it but I forced myself to relax. It wasn't that I was in danger because I was but I wasn't in physical danger and seriously hurting Duo wasn't an option. When his lips found mine I didn't hesitate to return the kiss as good as I got, fully enjoying the taste of him as I did. A part of me still found it a little hard to believe that I was actually able to touch him like I was, part of me - like when I was with Heero - kept trying to insist that they were off limits and I was committing a truly heinous act against two I loved. Thankfully the part of me that was jumping around gleefully wasn't paying any attention to it.

 

He pulled back slightly and I felt a bit of a thrill when I noticed the flush on his cheeks, a flush that I had put there. Duo gave me a crooked grin. “I could really get used to waking up this way.”

 

I found myself pressing my hips into his, revealing in the feeling and his gasp. I might be wearing jeans but he was only wearing boxers - not much of a barrier. “Me too.”

 

He groaned above me as he rubbed our hips more firmly together. “I need to have a shower, want to join me?”

 

My stomach tightened at that idea, the last two times I'd been with any of the others I hadn't been `seen' by them or, at least, my mind hadn't considered it that way. They first time, being blindfolded, I hadn't had to think of them looking at me for very long and with Heero I'd only managed to strip so easily in front of him because he had done it first and I had owed it to him to reciprocate. I didn't want anyone to see me naked, especially the other pilots. I was nothing compared to them - not in looks. But I found I could deny Duo very little when he was looking at me like a hungry tiger. I only nodded but he was more than satisfied as he hauled me off the bed and to the bathroom in mere seconds.

 

My clothes were off before I had a chance to register what appeared to have been a ripping sound and the feel of Duo's lips on my neck as he pinned me to the bathroom wall and his hands blindly played with the knobs to turn on the water.

 

He pulled back from me once the water was running. His violet eyes trailing over my body had me instinctively trying to cover up and retreat so that he couldn't see me. Duo's hands reached out and caught my wrists, moving me gently so that he could fully look at my exposed front. “Wufei, don't do that. Don't shield your body from me. I want to see you - all of you. I've wanted to see you since the first time I saw you in person. The vid screen only ever shoed a gorgeous face but in person - in person you are very much like a dragon.”

 

“I'm scaly.” I hadn't meant to say anything but my words eased some of the tension I was feeling and it seemed to lighten Duo's mood a little.

 

Moving into my personal space he ran his callused hands roughly up and down my chest. “No, not scaly. I didn't mean you looked like a dragon Fei. I meant that your presence, your determination, your convictions, your honor and everything that makes you, you radiates outward with your every movement. Drawing the eye to you as surely as if you were a Dragon among thousands of people. Do you know that I can find you in any crowded party that Relena or those other political headliners throws within seconds of arriving? You pull me to you Fei.”

 

His eyes were so intense as he said that that I couldn't look away. “When I see you that's what I feel as well but you're more like a Griffin. Pride in every angle of your body - in every move you make. So much has happened in your life and yet you seem to continuously dare the world to throw more at you. You're not ashamed or uncertain of who you are. You embrace yourself and celebrate every moment of life as you do.”

 

One of his roughened hands cupped my cheek, suddenly gently and I found myself thinking that there was never meant to be a single ideal beauty in the world, but many. A different beauty for every individual thing in the world and combinations of those single beauties for the individuals that were more complicated. “What do you want Wufei? Ask, and I'll give you anything I can.”

 

Words could be my ally but in matters such as these they seemed more likely to desert me. In the end I only needed five of the traitors and they jumped to the front lines and held their own. “To feel you in me.”

 

Once again his hands were on me, seeming everywhere at the same time. I tried to mirror where his hands moved but it was hard to concentrate. Somehow he got us into the shower, he might have lifted me in but I couldn't be certain.

 

Water cascaded down my back and shoulders as Duo gracefully kneeled in front of me, taking me into his mouth. After a few minutes it was a struggle to keep my body still. I had to choose between remaining still or remaining silent because I couldn't do both and remaining still won because I didn't want to hurt Duo by accident. It was a little surprising to me the sorts of sounds that tumbled from my mouth and throat. I hadn't thought I was capable of any of them except the groans an pants but Duo seemed able to drag certain noises from me by doing a variety of little things - like caressing the backs of my knees or dragging his teeth lightly along my erection.

 

I nearly collapsed when he finally pulled away but luckily the bathroom wall hadn't melted when my legs had. Duo seemed to be fumbling with a bottle of what looked to be body lotion and I found myself raising an eyebrow in question as my brain cleared slightly. Duo shrugged, laughing a bit huskily as he did. “One of Quatre's sisters left it here a few weeks ago… we've been putting it to good use ever since.”

 

He propped one of his legs on the bathtub's edge and lifted mine so that it rested on his. The movement had the breath taking effect of bringing our erections into full contact and I almost missed the feel of his finger sliding smoothly into my rear as my body shuddered in pleasure. I was a virgin when it came to this and I couldn't seem to voice that to Duo but his eyes told me he already knew. When he added a second finger to the first my body tensed at the intrusion and I had an almost panicky urge to pull away but Duo's other hand circled my shaft and it served to focus my attention on Duo's face. “It feels weird at first but I promise you it'll feel better. You just have to trust me.”

 

Taking a deep breath I concentrated and my body relaxed slightly. What Duo did next would have been impossible for anyone who wasn't ambidextrous. While his one hand moved inside me his other caressed my erection. Only when he removed the hand he had coiled around my erection did I notice that there were three fingers inside me. When he removed them I found myself understanding why Heero had wanted to hurry through me preparing him. It wasn't that I felt empty; it was the anticipation of something more. Some people will claim that being attracted to the same gender is unnatural but even though I'd never slept with a man in such a way before my body knew what it wanted even if my mind didn't fully know what to expect. Duo shifted, lifting me as he did so that he was holding me above his waist and against the tiled wall that was shockingly cold against my wet and bare back. His arms trembled slightly as he did, lifting any type of weight for an extended length of time would do that - all you had to do was hold a pencil in each hand, arms straight out to the sides for five hours and you would know - he was strong though, stronger than his appearance led people to believe and he removed one of his hands to position himself until the head of his erection was inside me before he used both hand to slowly lower me onto him. I had put my hands on a bar conveniently located above my head and the showerhead (I'm not sure I wanted to know why it was there, much like the handcuffs on the bed but I wasn't going to complain) and managed to take some of the strain off him as he did.

 

Having him inside me didn't feel good so much as it felt right.

 

At first we didn't move, just stayed there like that and then Duo was thrusting slowly and shallowly into me, as my body loosened his thrusts became a little harder and faster - reaching a bit further inside me, or so it seemed. Then as he thrust up into me one of my hands slipped and I fell down onto him at the same moment and I forgot to breath, couldn't see, couldn't hear or smell - all I could do was feel. It seemed like hours when a heard Duo groan and begin thrusting wildly into me, I found myself pushing down onto him so that he was as far inside as he could be and every time I managed to get a lungful of air I lost it as pleasure robbed me of everything else, bringing my world to an existence that began and ended in those moments. When I cam, I cam in an all-encompassing darkness of pleasure and that's where I remained for a duration of time I couldn't have hoped to have identified.

 

When my senses were functioning I found myself sitting on the bottom of the tub between Duo's legs as he washed and conditioned my hair. By the time he'd finished I had found enough strength to do the same for him.

 

While we were drying off he gave me an amused grin. “You know, if we hurry, we can make the Circus before the show starts, help Trowa set up and watch the acts.”

 

I hadn't seen Trowa in two days and I found my chest tightening slightly when I left myself realize how much I missed him. “I'd like that. I'll get dressed and meet you downstairs.”

 

“You got it, we'll take my motorcycle - it'll be quicker than one of the cars or a taxi.” I nodded and moved towards the door but he caught me and pulled me into a deep kiss. When we broke apart his hand caressed my swollen lips - almost as if he were the one dazed. “I love you Chang Wufei.”

 

For the life of me I couldn't say it to him, the words stopped in my throat and all I managed to say was a mumbled `Same to you Duo.' Before I speed-walked from the room, after all Chang Wufei doesn't run away.

 

**************************

 

The ride on Duo's motorcycle would have been better if my ass hadn't been sore but I gritted my teeth and dealt with it. The trip wasn't that long, which was due in large part to the fact that Duo drives like he pilots - like a certified psychopath with ideas of invincibility and grandeur. After he parked, we moved to the concession booth, the place was deserted but according to the posters the show wouldn't start until 9:30 so we still had plenty of time to find Trowa.

 

A girl about our age was readying things inside the concession booth and the first thing I noticed about her was her hair, not surprising, since it was long and neon pink. The second she saw us her face broke into a wide grin. “Duo! It's nice to have you back! Trowa'll be glad.”

 

“It's good to see you too Cherry. You wouldn't know where I might find that daredevil lover of mine would you?”

 

She glanced down at her watch and bit her lower lip as she thought about it. “Well, he should be done with the lions by now… you might want to check the elephants or the Ringmaster's Trailer.”

 

“Sure thing beautiful. Thanks.” He flashed her a quirky grin as he led me behind the main tents to where the real work was done. He didn't need to ask for directions as he wove his way through tents and trailers to where a secured area was set up for the animals. We spotted Trowa at the same time but we both knew better than to yell around the animals, they might have been used to loud noise in the Big Top but why force them to endure more if they didn't have to? When Trowa had firmly locked the elephant enclosure Duo went over to give him a quick hug and kiss and I felt at a loss as to what to do. I wasn't ashamed but I didn't like to draw unnecessary attention, it was improper - fine for Duo and others but not for me - I knew it was a double standard but a lifetime of training couldn't be forgotten or unlearned in the blink of an eye. Thankfully Trowa seemed to understand that and gave me a small smile but made no move to touch me. Strangely enough, it was that unconditional understanding and acceptance that spurred me into kissing his cheek. I couldn't quite look at him after and my face felt as if it were on fire but I could honestly claim that I didn't regret it.

 

“We came early to see if we could help you out a bit. So how about it Tro, need a few extra hands?”

 

“Well, I was on my way to check in with Catherine and the Ringmaster to see what else needed to be done…”

 

“Sounds good, right Wu?”

 

My body was back under my control again and I met Duo's gaze as I nodded in answer. He flashed me a grin and darted in front of Trowa and myself - entertaining himself be doing cartwheels and flips. I couldn't help but shake my head at his antics, though I couldn't keep a smile from tugging at my lips. He seemed to have a well of untapped energy; my guess was that it was hidden in his braid.

 

To my left, I heard an amused snort and looked to find the same soft smile I knew was on my face reflected on Trowa's. Without words I could tell he felt the same way I did. There were very few people that I had ever been able to do that with. I could count them easily and the number came out to twelve. One was dead, seven I currently worked with and four I had fought a war with. Some people are able to do it with classmates, friends, co-workers, immediate family as well as extended family members. It sort of surprised me that it was still possible between Trowa and I, even after a year of almost entirely being separated.

 

Things got a little more complicated when we entered the Ringmaster's trailer. I had realized the Circus was a bit short-staffed but I hadn't realized that it was as bad as it was. Trowa was already covering about four acts: the elephants, the lions, the trapeze and the knife throwing act with Catherine. That would have worked out but the person who did the high-wire act was suffering from food poisoning and there was no one who had the skills to fill in for her except Trowa. The problem with that was that there was no one but Trowa who could fill in for the other acts to free Trowa to do the high-wire and he couldn't manage all five acts with the way everything was set up. They might have been able to pull an act but all of them were advertised on the posters and doing that would cause a public relations nightmare as well as the very real possibility of starting a riot, and canceling the entire show could cause either of those possibilities to occur and it would deprive the circus of much needed revenue. If time had permitted they would have been able to call in a few favors to solve the problem. There weren't any easy solutions that anyone could come up with. I listened silently to all of them: Catherine, the Ringmaster, Trowa, and Duo as they discussed it.

 

“I'll do it.” It took me a moment to realize that I had been the one to say that. Since I had though, I refused to back out of it.

 

Catherine eyed me skeptically for a moment. “Without a net?”

 

“Yes.” My voice was confident because I was confident.

 

“You're sure you can do this?”

 

I didn't bother to look at Trowa or Duo, I already knew they were shocked by what I'd said and by the time they managed to recover I would already be firmly committed, so I met Catherine's searching gaze and the expectant and relieved look the Ringmaster threw my way dead on. “Of course, I would not have suggested it otherwise. If you will find a costume that is at least a bit modest, I'll go and inspect the high-wire's set up. It's located in the Big Top I presume.”

 

The Ringmaster nodded, “Yes it is and thank you very much young man.”

 

I left the trailer before Duo or Trowa could stop me. If it had been anyone else except me, despite the consequences, neither the Ringmaster nor Catherine would have agreed so easily but they had met me before and they knew I was Gundam Pilot. They also knew that Gundam Pilot's did not accept failure easily and despite the reputations of some of us we aren't careless or foolhardy; what we are is coldly practical and realistic. Add that to the fact that most people will not question me if I claim to be able to do something (not even Une) and their agreeableness becomes understandable.

 

I was inside the tent testing the tautness of the ropes and wires when both Duo and Trowa came charging in. Charging may not have been the best word for it though; it was a mix of worry, anger, determination, uncertainty, and `mission-mode. I wasn't lying when I said that most people don't question me after I day I can do something. Most don't. A few ignorant people have and have been shown their grave error in thinking that way but the ones who have done it the most with the least anguish are those I can claim being in a relationship with. And they only had that freedom because I had it with them as well.

 

“Wufei, what the hell do you think you're doing? You've never even been on a high-wire before have you?” Whenever Duo was upset his eyes would change color between blue and violet. I hadn't meant to upset him but I was the only option the Circus had right then.”

 

“Actually, I have.”

 

Duo gaped at me. “What?! When?!”

 

I shrugged, “It was part of my training when I was younger. The part that was geared towards balance and maintaining your center and focus at all times. I doubt I'll be able to show the same level of skill that Trowa would on the high-wire but since I do not have training as a clown, a lion or elephant trainer or a trapeze acrobat I can not replace him on any of those, however, what I am capable of is the high-wire and what I know should do.”

 

He just stared at me before he sighed heavily, running a hand through his bangs. “You are an altogether too stubborn and logical person and if you get yourself killed I'll follow you to the grave and torment you for all eternity with a never-ending rendition of `This is the Song that Never Ends'.” He moved over to the wires and ropes I'd already checked and began checking them himself.

 

“Duo, I already checked those.”

 

He smirked at me but his eyes were dead serious, “So?” Then he went back to double-checking them.

 

“Wufei?”

 

Turning to Trowa I glared at him, the last thing I needed or wanted was another argument, “Yes?”

 

“I trust you to know your own abilities but please keep in mind that only a few days ago you weren't strong enough to get out of bed on your own. If your body feels weak or you feel light-headed or nauseous cut the act short. It isn't worth your life, some things might be - I can understand that - but this isn't one of them.”

Yep, just that easily, I went from feeling self-righteous to feeling like the most uncouth person in the world. “I will Trowa.” And, forcing myself not to look around us first, I leaned forward and kissed him because I owed it to him, because I wanted to and because I need to.

 

********************************

 

I hadn't lied when I said that the high-wire was a part of my training but… I did conveniently forget to mention that the wire had only been seven feet off the ground, that the last time I'd done it was about five years ago and that I'd only ever performed in front of five others at most. That as it was, I still felt I could do it. I just had to forget where I was. I little difficult to do when hundreds of people are creating noise only a few yards from where you're waiting to go on.

 

People like Duo, Quatre and Trowa - maybe even Heero - might be energized by it but for a person like me it was just another obstacle to overcome. It was, however, almost a welcome distraction against the outfit Catherine had inflicted on me. I wouldn't go so far as to call it hideous but it was so close it might have appeared next the word in a dictionary once. It was yellow and black with no sequence or extras that could catch onto the wires or ropes and if that were all it were it would have been satisfactory but it wasn't the material I had the problem with it was the design. Whoever came up with it had to have been certifiably insane, high on LSD or both when they created it. It was one piece, made from spandex with no sleeves and a plunging neckline that plunged so far that it nearly reached my bellybutton and the legs were so short they could have easily passed for swimming trunks. Most acrobats wore slippers on their feet but I never had and starting at this performance would have been foolish, when confronting the unknown it is always best to stick with what is known; it is very unwise to compound unknown variables if it can be avoided.

 

I chose not to watch Trowa on the trapeze with the Scheler Siblings - well the Scheler Siblings minus the one who was sick that Trowa was filling in for. As soon as they ran by me at the end of their program the Ringmaster would announce me or to be precise he would announce the Solitary Dragon (it would have been unwise if I had used my true name; besides, it was Duo's idea - not mine) and it would be my turn.

 

So far everything had gone well. After I was finished Trowa would do the elephant act as the finale and I could forget about the whole thing. I was trying to be relaxed about the whole thing, after all - I had volunteered, I'd even let Duo pick the music I would perform to, I'd expected something with throbbing and headache-inspiring screeching but he'd surprised me by picking `Breathe' by Michelle Branch. I normally wouldn't use music, some performers don't, but I wanted a distraction from the crying babies, scolding mothers and oohing and ahhing. I'd never heard the song before but it touched cord in me after I heard it and I listened to it on repeat while warming up for the show. I hadn't done more than walk across the high-wire a couple of times to get the feel of it, everything else I'd done on the ground. Perhaps not what most would do but everyone prepared for things differently.

 

Duo had stuck by me at first but I had had to send him to help out elsewhere because he was too much of a distraction.

 

From the ring a roaring applause sounded and my stomach twisted, making me wonder why I had volunteered to do what I was. I remembered a minute later when Trowa jogged lightly towards me, a soft smile molding his lips. I was doing it because it was important to those that Trowa considered family and friends - partly because it was a duty to Trowa but strangely, the larger part was because I also wanted to. They had helped me once and they hadn't had and reason to.

 

Trowa did little more than nod and walk by close enough that out shoulders brushed against each other but it was all I needed to help re-center me as well as my wayward thoughts. From the ring I heard the Ringmaster announce me and I squared my shoulders and ran out into the ring as the music started. I continued running, and ran up the wire until I was high above the ground, standing on the one of the platforms (not easy but not entirely impossible if you know how). I had time to give the audience a quick bow before the tempo of the music increased. As it did I cartwheeled across the wire to the other side and let myself go as I recalled a number of patterns that had been specifically created for the wire. I performed front flips and back flips, flying kicks, rapid punches and blocks as well as combinations of all of them. My body just flowed into it and my thoughts flowed out with the music allowing me to not think about what I was doing. I did a final back flip as the song ended and found myself on the platform I'd started from and barely kept from stumbling. It might not seem like much but three minutes on a high-wire can be the same as a half-hour of rapid training exercises on the ground. My heart was hammering in my chest and I was a little dizzy so instead of walking back down the way I'd gotten up as I intended I used the rope to lower myself. On the ground I bowed again but my legs were shaking - not visibly but I knew I'd pushed it too far for the day with my morning, training, the training at the dojo, walking home, the shower with Duo, practicing for the show and then the performance.

 

I made it to the side of the Big Top, where I had been waiting earlier, and went to the corner I'd used to change. I had sit down to change since I almost fell over a couple of times. I just finished changing when my cell phone rang. I felt a strange sense déjà vu as I answered it.

 

“Chang, here.”

 

“Wufei!” Yep, it was Quatre.

 

“Hello Quatre, what can I do for you?”

 

“Well, we found your note.”

 

My mind was a little slow and it took me a moment to recall what note he was referring to but then I remembered leaving them a note when I went to the dojo. I'd completely forgotten about it. “Oh sorry. I forgot to throw it away when I got back. I was, uh, distracted.”

 

“Did the distraction have a braid?”

 

I felt myself blush before I was growling. “Quatre…”

 

He laughed. “Sorry. So where are you?”

 

“The Circus.”

 

“Oh? Do you think you'll be coming back to the house or staying there for the night?”

I blinked at the question because I hadn't expected it. “I don't know. I can ask Duo. Trowa is for sure - he called earlier to tell us but as to whether Duo and I will as well I cannot say. I can call you as soon as I know if you like.”

 

“No Wufei, that's fine. Heero and I are going to bed as soon as I hang up, if you're not here in the morning we'll assume you stayed over.”

 

“Everything back to normal at work then?”

 

“As normal as it ever gets I suppose. The emergency has been dealt with at least.”

 

“Good to hear. Get some rest.”

 

“Sure thing love. See you tomorrow.”

 

“See you.” I hung up and felt strangely light, Quatre had called me love but it wasn't the word so much as the sort of soft way he'd said it. The way he said it had left no room to doubt that he meant it.

 

“There you are.” Duo was standing in front of me when I looked up after putting my phone in my jacket pocket. “So it would appear.” Duo frowned but I wasn't surprised because I'd sounded exhausted. “Quatre called to see if we would be staying here or heading back to the house and to let us know he and Heero were going to bed.”

 

“What do you want to do Fei?”

 

“Well… I don't want to intrude on them but if given the option I think it might be best if we stayed the night here. I'm afraid I pushed myself harder then I'd realized today and I don't believe riding on the back of a motorcycle at this time would be wise.”

 

He nodded, “Alright, let's get you settled in Catherine and Trowa's trailer and I'll speak to Trowa later.”

 

“I'll be fine until he's finished Duo.”

 

“No, you won't Wufei. You're so tired that you're almost falling off the chair. Now stop arguing and do what I tell you.”

 

“Yes sir, Mr. Maxwell, sir.”

 

“Damn straight.”

 

Somehow Duo got me on my feet and to the trailer but the second my head touched the pillow sleep dug it's claws all the way in and held on.

 

*****************************

 

I was woken up by arguing but decided to remain still until I knew what my situation was.

 

“I still can't believe you let him to do that! What if he'd fallen? He could have been severely injured or killed!”

 

I was pretty surprised because that was definitely Heero's voice. He must have been pretty upset because normally it doesn't take him long to know when someone is asleep or faking it. There was also the fact that Heero should have been at the house with Quatre.

 

“He insisted Heero and I watched his entire performance. He didn't falter until the very end. I don't think he even realized he'd done too much today and he looked fine to Trowa and I, not too mention the Ringmaster and Catherine. Trust me, if we had had any doubts we wouldn't have let him.”

 

That was Duo and he sounded upset though I couldn't be sure why.

 

“Wufei performed well. He did almost as well as I would have or Tria would have if she hadn't been sick. He wouldn't have appreciated it if we had wrapped him in blankets and locked him away. You know that if we even tried such a thing he would fight us with everything he had - he wouldn't hurt us if he did but he would hurt himself without intending to. Duo's right, he insisted. Second guessing all of Wufei's decisions and choices isn't the way to show how we feel.”

 

“I know that Trowa. It's just that… we waited so long thinking he couldn't have feelings for us and we almost lost him because we weren't there. Now that we have him… we could have lost him again. It took us almost a year to come to terms with the fact that we loved each other and to get it all to work. And even though we'd come to realize that, it still wasn't until a month ago that someone was willing to bring up how they felt about Wufei.” Heero really did sound upset.

 

“I brought it up because I didn't want to hide how I felt and you deserved to know. It was a bit of a surprise for me to find that I wasn't the only one of us that felt like a part of me was missing. Unfortunately we can't always protect Wufei - just like we can't always protect each other. It's more true for Wufei then the rest of us though, he's a Preventer agent, a bit of a loner and his first instinct will probably always be to put his duty before himself. I've had to accept that about all of you already. When you act as my security I know that you could die trying to protect me. I don't like it but it's something I've come to accept because it's part of who you all are - it's part of why I love each of you.”

 

That had been Quatre; so they were all there. My eyes were closed so I wasn't sure where we were exactly or what time it was.

 

“Maybe Quatre, but we can also count on you to watch our backs if something happens, Wufei doesn't have one of us to do that for him.”

 

“No Heero, he doesn't but he hasn't had any of us to do that for him for over a year, and since none of us wants to join the Preventers on a more permanent basis, that is how it's going to stay. We're just going to have to trust him to take care of himself and Noin, Zechs, Sally and Une to do it when he can't.”

 

“He's been asleep for twelve hours…”

 

Heero didn't seem to want to just let it go but I couldn't hear a note of acceptance in his voice. The comment about my being asleep for twelve hours threw me a little, since it was around eleven pm when I went to sleep that would make it eleven in the morning… no wonder he was upset, I hadn't slept that long since I'd broken down.

 

Duo snorted, “He's Wufei. He's been pushing himself too hard. He did it during the war too. It's just how he is. To be honest I think we should just be thankful that he willingly admitted he did too much yesterday. During the war he wouldn't have done that, most of us wouldn't have either but he did it for the whole war and from what Sally, Tabitha, and Alisa have told me he does it with the Preventers too. If he'll willingly tell us, that's a major step in the right direction of putting our minds at ease don't you think?”

 

“Duo has a point, as does Quatre, Heero. We have to trust him to do the right thing.”

 

“I do Trowa, I just…”

 

“Worry. We know. You're a worse mother hen than the rest of us put together.” Duo was laughing and the tension in the room seemed to have eased.

 

I figured that `waking up' then might be the best idea. Besides, I was hungry and lying in bed all day was never really something I could do. I shifted a bit and blinked my eyes open, trying to adjust to the dim light in the trailer.

 

“Wufei?”

 

I turned my head a little to the left to meet Heero's piercing blue eyes. “Yes?”

 

“Are you awake?”

 

That had to have been one of the stupidest questions I'd ever heard and deserved something similar for the answer so I pulled him into a kiss, using everything I'd learned and when I pulled away he looked like the one who had just woken up - eyes half closed, face flushed. “I am now.”

 

**If you want another part to this let me know.