Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Everbody Breaks ❯ Finding His Center ( Chapter 4 )

Finding His Center

Continues from where Waking Up left off.

By Kai

 

 

Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own Gundam Wing - and trust me - the boys are VERY thankful for that fact.

 

Ratings: NC-17 (language, sexual content *lemon/lime - or your favorite type of citrus*)

 

Warnings: Yaoi, 1x2x5x3x4 is already established, this part has 3x5 action in it though

 

Summary: Fear of loss, fear of the unknown and life lessons from children… in the end Wufei runs and finds what he hadn't known he needed… cryptic, *GRINS*, makes me feel powerful… just remember, don't kill the writer or you won't get any more!!

 

 

Finding His Center

Wufei's POV

 

Things settled down soon after that. After lunch we helped the Circus pack up for their return trip to L3. I wasn't able to stay the entire time since I had to be at the Community Gym at 3:00 and I had to go back to the house to change. Heero offered to drive me but I told him I'd take a taxi and though he didn't look like he liked the idea he didn't argue - didn't even tell me to take it easy; none of them did but they didn't have to their looks said it all. It wasn't until I was warming up in the dojo that I realized I hadn't gone through any of my katas that morning. According to the clock on the wall though, I was twenty minutes early, so I had plenty of time to do a few (I'd had an interesting cab driver - one whose ambitions seemed to include aspiring Nascar driver). I knew I wouldn't get through all of them so I took my time and just allowed myself to flow into them.

 

I became aware of someone watching me and decided to finish what I was doing before turning around and seeing who it was. I was a little surprised to find the entire class, including Sensei Kim, watching me with slightly wide eyes. I was caught a little off-guard by it - when you grow up in a place where nearly every person who sees you do katas or sparing has at least a third or fourth degree black belt you don't see looks of awe very often. In fact, I didn't think I'd ever seen anyone look at me like that before. It was just a bit nerve-wracking and I had no idea how to wade through the situation to the point where I had solid mental ground to walk on. Thankfully, Sensei Kim snapped out of it and pulled the room to order.

 

She ran the class this time, which gave me the opportunity to wander around the dojo helping the students individually with their stretches. I didn't say anything to any of them when we went for the run - four laps this time - but I stayed back and matched Steven, Jihee, Lee, Andy and Carla. They ran the entire way and I didn't congratulate them verbally but I gave each of them a nod of approval and that appeared to be enough as their classmates proudly encircled them. I certainly didn't expect anyone to give me much notice but I felt a tug on my sleeve and had another flash of déjà vu. When I looked down though, I was staring into green eyes not brown and those eyes belonged to a little girl not a little boy. “Yes?”

 

“Will I be able to do what you did?”

 

Okay, that didn't make any sense to me at all, but when in doubt, clarify. “What do you mean?”

 

She fiddled with her belt; I noticed it was white. “The, uh, the dance…”

 

She was new and younger than Simon - six was my guess - so she didn't have the terminology yet, but dance was an apt way of describing it. “The `dance' is called a kata. You learn one for each belt you get, so if you practice a lot you will be able to do them very well one day. No doubt, even better than me.”

 

“Really?” She looked so anxious and hopeful as she asked it that I wondered if I'd ever cared about something as much as she appeared to care about this.

 

“If you work hard, of course. I can only do them because I practice everyday.”

 

“You still practice?”

 

I nodded gravely and seriously as I squatted down so I could meet her eyes. “Yes. If I didn't I wouldn't be able to do it very well but I don't mind - I actually like to practice. When you really want to do something it doesn't seem like work, does it?”

 

It took her a minute as she though about it. “No, it doesn't. It's just fun. If it wasn't fun I wouldn't want to do it and I would be bad at it like my brother, Ian… he doesn't like piano so he doesn't play and he'd bad at it when mom makes him. He hurts my ears.”

 

The class started back into the Gym after Sensei Kim and she grabbed my hand and began to drag me behind her.

 

“It's like when Mom worked at the restaurant - she didn't like it so she didn't do a good job and she was unhappy. She told me she had to though, cause we needed money to live, so I asked her why she didn't find a job she liked and she didn't know why. So she looked for a new job and now she works with old people. She says she likes it a lot. Do you like being a Preventer?”

 

She spoke so quickly that it took me a second to understand what she said and she still hadn't let go of my hand, something I wasn't quite sure what to make of. I thought about her question a moment and was a little surprised when I could honestly say that I did. I didn't like the paper work or the red tape and I wasn't sure I could claim to like the missions but I did like training new recruits and demonstrations. “Yes.” We were almost to the dojo so I did my best to cut off the flow of any more words. “May I ask what I am to call you?”

 

She came to a sudden stop and I had to side step to avoid stepping on her. I might not have grown much since the end of the second war but I was still a good hundred pounds heavier than she was. “Oops. Mom says I shouldn't talk so much cause if I do I forget my manners. I'm Keeley Dawn, Sensei.” She looked about to launch into another verbal attack and we were almost at the dojo so… an intervention was necessary, in order to proceed with a extraction - namely me from becoming the unfortunate target of yet another verbal assault.

 

“We should hurry or we'll be late.”

 

She let out a bit of a yelp and took off like a whirlwind, black braid swinging as she did. The braid made me think of Duo and my suspicions of him containing a well of energy in his braid. It seemed that I'd inadvertently gained even more proof of that.

 

Not wanting to be tardy myself I hurried after her, trying to force the smile I was wearing into something more serious.

 

***************************

 

After the class I chose to once again walk home and was a little surprised to find Trowa waiting for me at the door. He smiled at me when he spotted me. My eyes roamed over him and I had a sudden urge to kiss him in a way that would leave him weak with need. It wasn't easy to push the urge away. Luckily I had a distraction suddenly pop up in front of me.

 

“Sensei Chang!”

 

Once again I found myself staring down into wide green eyes. “Hello Keely Dawn. What can I do for you?”

 

She motioned for me to bend down, so I squatted in front of her - only to find myself in a strangle hold of a hug. “I'll practice really hard. I promise!” It was barely above a whisper but she said it directly into my ear so I couldn't have missed it.

 

Awkwardly I patted her back, I wasn't used to dealing with adults in situations like this, let alone kids. “Glad to hear that.”

 

She pulled away, flashed me a grin that lacked a couple of teeth and ran to take the hand of a woman who may have been her mother. The woman gave me a nod in farewell, which I returned, before to two of them walked out the door leaving me to try and get my confused state of mind back under control. What had I done to gain such affection from the girl? The answer eluded me.

 

“Do I get a hug as well?”

 

I blinked at Trowa. He'd asked the question lightly but his eyes said he meant the request as anything but a joke. I'll admit, I hesitated, showing affection - even in private - was somewhat difficult for me and we were in a public place; a place I consider to be a work place. In the end, when I saw the slightly pained look flash over his face briefly, I squared my shoulders and stepped forward to tightly wrap him in my arms.

 

When I stepped back I ignored the heat in my cheeks as best I could. “What are you doing here?”

 

He shrugged, hands sliding back into his pockets - where they'd been before our brief embrace. “We thought it would be nice if someone were to pick you up and since you and I have spent the least amount of time together it was suggested that I come. The others are finishing up at the Circus they should be done in a couple of hours. The two of us are supposed to see about arranging something for the five of us to do tonight.”

 

I couldn't have said why exactly but I felt a little nervous about the five of us doing something together. So I didn't address it right away. “How did you get here?”

 

“Taxi.” The way he said the word implied the `why'.

 

“I wanted to walk to the house, would that be okay with you?”

 

He nodded, “Of course.”

 

I bid farewell to Sensei Kim and the two of us left. We walked silently until we were on the Winner grounds (the house was surrounded by a large brick wall and a small forest of trees to try and ensure some privacy to the occupants). We weren't even halfway up the drive when I came to a complete stop. For some reason I didn't want to go to the house just then.

 

“Wufei?” Trowa's voice sounded a bit puzzled, almost on the verge of worried.

 

I rarely acted on my impulses but I found myself grinning at him, in a way that wasn't what one could call happy or joyful - maybe manic would have been the right word. “Catch me.” And then I was running, dancing in and out of the closely planted trees.

 

I wasn't entirely sure what I was running from. It could have been that I was so close to having everything that I had ever wanted and I was scared that I would loose it before I even had a chance to hold onto it for even the briefest of moments. It could have been that I hadn't spent time with all of them when I was well and I didn't know what they expected. It could have been any number of doubts or fears. But by the time Trowa caught me and we tumbled to the ground together I was full out crying and trying not to. It's a truly scary thing to have your heart's deepest desire offered to you because no one expects it so they can't help but wonder when they get it if they'll wake up and find themselves without it; to truly see how far away it is. I was no different.

 

Trowa held me for a while but having him hold me wasn't enough, I needed more than that. I needed to know it was more then what I'd had since the beginning of the first war, hell, since the beginning of my life. I was kissing him before he realized that the situation had changed. Kissing him roughly, so fierce that I couldn't believe it was me doing it but unable to stop myself. I wasn't really thinking; just reacting to my panic and desperation. He slowed it down by pinning me to the ground and kissing my face and neck until my breathing had leveled out. When it had he moved to pull away and I followed, crawling into his lap once he'd settled.

 

“Trowa… love me… please, I need to know… I…”

 

His large hands cradled my face and the look in his eyes stole my clumsy words from me. There was nothing but love for me in those green depths. His lips brushed mine in a light caress before he pulled me tightly against him. His breath near my ear sent a pleasant shiver down my spine. “Loving you is a pleasure I would give my soul for, but for people like us words aren't always enough so I will make love to your body in such a way that neither your heart nor your soul will have room for doubt, only room for the knowledge of the depth and strength of my love for you.”

 

His lips moved until he had my earlobe between his teeth and when he sucked it into his mouth I melted into him, unable to stop moaning as his long fingers gently moved over my shirt - barely touching. Heero had given himself to me to show his love, Duo had met me in a clash of passion that branded us as each others but Trowa was slow and careful - in a way that proved to me how much he cherished me, how much I meant to him.

 

His hands moved over the muscles of my shoulders and back in a half massage the minute my shirt drifted to the ground and I wanted to fell us - skin against skin - but I couldn't bring myself to force him to pick up the pace. Slowly his clothes left him - until the only thing between us was my underwear. He was above me on all fours as his mouth and hands made love to my body. Shifting he brought one of his legs between mine and rubbed his thigh against my erection and I choked on my gasped breath as he continued to massage my cock through my underwear. He'd reduced me to only being able to ride the sensations he sent coursing though my body until my whole body was rocking into him - trying to gain the greatest amount of contact with him that I could. I wasn't ready when he removed my underwear and slowly began to lower himself onto my erection. He couldn't have prepped himself before hand and I found myself trying to stop him before he hurt himself but he paused and held my hands to his chest - supporting himself with his legs alone - and met my concerned gaze with a look of such happiness, longing and desire that I couldn't find it in me to argue anymore. “Wufei, let me love you. Trust me and trust yourself.”

 

I gave him a tight nod and he kissed my hands as he continued his slow decent. Once he was seated I refused to move, he wanted to love me so I would let him do just that. He did. He rode me. There was no way else to explain it. He moved in such careful precision - like he was posting in a saddle - never once did our eyes loose contact and not one did his rhythm change. It was slow, careful and so beautiful. The light that made it through the leafy canopy above us, painted him in such a way that his skin seemed to glow when it hit the seat on his skin and I couldn't look away, couldn't move for fear of missing even a second of what he was giving to me. It was a gift so precious that it was beyond the wording of even the greatest of poets. When we came we came together, locked as one by a force greater than any other know to man and afterwards I could only hold him to me, never wanting to let go.

 

***************************

 

Eventually we did have to get up and when we did we dressed each other. It was strangely intimate but in no way sexual and I just couldn't stop touching him. A part of me was always in contact with a part of him and I was fairly certain that my face was permanently stuck in a little half-smile that I just couldn't get rid of.

 

When we got back to the house we ended up just lying on the couch leaning against each other. The TV was on but I didn't watch any of it - I was fairly sure he didn't either.

 

By the time the others got back we had already reached the point where we were able to organize a few things. The arrangements involved removing Trowa, Duo and hero from the house as they arranged things for our evening together and left me with Quatre. We would be alone for an hour - Trowa swore it and I knew he meant it.

 

The second they left to do the `shopping'. I cornered Quatre in the living room and prayed I'd have enough guts to do what I needed to do.

 

When I cam in he looked up from the TV with a frown on his face. “Is something wrong Wufei?”

 

I nodded seriously, “Oh yes. You see, I'm afraid I've been very naughty.”

 

His eyebrows rose in surprise, “Oh? And why do you say that?”

 

“I'm not wearing any underwear and I was thinking of naughty things. I think I need to be punished.” My face was red but I knew what I was saying was the right thin to say because of the sudden desire in his eyes. I hadn't forgotten his comment about being a bit sadistic and after what Trowa had done for me I wanted to do it for one of the others and I had a feeling Quatre needed to release from reality more than the others did. I just wished my face would stop feeling like some sort of beacon.

 

Thankfully Quatre is an extremely quick person and caught onto the game right away. An evil grin was on his lips and a dangerous light was in his eyes. “Yes, punishment is definitely called for, I believe.”

 

 

*GRINS* My turn to be evil… cliff-hanger *cackles wildly*. Oh and be kind, I didn't have a beta-reader for this part of part three….