Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ The Edulcoration of Duo Maxwell ❯ Liberty and Prosperity in the Violet Garden ( Chapter 57 )

The Edulcoration of Duo Maxwell - 57/?

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**NOTE: If you failed to read the footnotes for the April 1st post, let me point out one thing.**

IT WAS A JOKE!

I certainly would not cheat you all by falling back on the "all a dream" ploy a la Bobby Ewing's death in Dallas...errr...dating myself now.

My apologies for any distress caused as a result of the April Fool's joke. Most of you were very good sports and I thank you for that!

~~~~~

Warnings: AU, yaoi, coarse language, violence, angst, cliffhangers, red herrings, mention of various vices, random bits of useless knowledge, occasionally explicit sex, enough footnotes to choke an army of horses.

Spoilers: Nah

Disclaimer: I don't really need to be Captain Obvious here, do I? No ownership, no money being made, yadda yadda. Written for fun, not profit.

Pairings: 2x1x2, 3+4, 4x3, 5+M/5xM

Archived at:
http://www.atsui.org
http://www.gundam-wing-diaries.150m.com

Edulcorate (verb) - To free from harshness (as of attitude); to soften

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Just to reiterate - this is the real chapter 57, if you were unfortunate enough to read my (cough) whimsical attempt at an April Fool's joke. If you read a version titled "Bringing Mayflowers" - that's the fake one.

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Chapter 57 - Liberty and Prosperity in the Violet Garden

"I've forgotten you...The way you walked, the way you talked...I couldn't say for sure today whether your eyes were blue or gray...I've forgotten you, I never think of you...oh, what a lie..." - Performed by an unnamed African cabaret singer, Yellow Iris, Agatha Christie

~~~~~

Heero sat on the examination table, wearing the paper gown that had been provided, and looked at the framed degrees and certificates on the wall opposite. Kaydence Stevenson was apparently fairly young, based on the dates of her residency.

A firm knock sounded on the door and he was pleased that he was not kept waiting for very long. He acknowledged the knock to indicate he was ready and was surprised to see a petite woman with prematurely gray hair, pulled back loosely and pinned behind her head. Her face was smooth and unlined, and she smiled at him warmly.

"Heero Yuy," she said, extending a hand. "Kay Stevenson. Welcome back."

He was partially relieved that the normal protocol required the filling out of a standard questionnaire. A complete blood screening would be performed regardless of the answers provided, but the sheet of yes-no questions meant he did not need to enter a discussion of his promiscuity with the doctor. Not with this one, at least.

"One of the nurses will be in to draw your blood shortly," she said. "That provides two witnesses that the blood did indeed come from you." She showed him the vials, explained the battery of tests that would be performed on various bodily fluids.

"I obviously don't need to check for foreign substances on your person," she said, gesturing to his disposable attire, "so you know what to do." She handed him a cup and pointed to a door that was behind a curtain pulled halfway around the examination table. He accepted the container and entered the bathroom, which contained nothing more than a toilet and a toilet paper dispenser.

He brought the cup back and she capped it. "Please note the numbers on the specimen bottle as well as the envelope," she requested, peeling a large strip of adhesive tape off a sheet of labels and using it to seal the jar. She then had him sign his name across the tape after he'd verified the numbers matched.

She added her signature below his and placed the cup in the envelope. As if on cue, a young male nurse entered with a tray containing more of the labels as well as several vials, an elastic band, and a syringe in two individually wrapped sections.

Heero again had to confirm that the labels matched his identification number and they were applied to the vials. Within moments, the band was around his upper arm and the needle inserted intravenously.

He said nothing as several vials were filled, although Stevenson and the nurse made idle chitchat about the weather and similarly innocuous topics. From their conversation Heero gathered the young man's name was Trey.

After Trey removed the needle and Heero was told to hold the gauze in place, Doctor Stevenson sealed the vials with more of the coded adhesive tape and they went into a smaller envelope. Heero signed across the tape on the flap, then both envelopes left with the nurse on his way out.

"Heero," Stevenson said, firmly closing the door before turning to face him. "I understand you have an appointment with Jamie after we're done here, so I won't keep you longer than is necessary."

"Thank you."

"However," she said. "I must review the answers you provided on your health history with you before I can forward a recommendation one way or another. I must ask first; do I have your permission to share information with Jamie if I find anything that I believe would be beneficial?"

Heero frowned. "Beneficial to whom?"

"To you, of course," she said.

"I wish to be informed first and foremost of any results before I can make that determination."

"Understood. Trust me, Heero, patient confidentiality will not be compromised."

There was a bit of unspoken communication, a measuring of each other, before Heero broke the silence.

"I am no longer engaging in risky sexual behaviors."

She nodded slowly. "I rather suspected that was the case." She pulled a pair of glasses out of a pocket in her white coat and put them on. It seemed to Heero as if she were hiding behind them, and he realized he was projecting his fears about the test results onto the doctor's innocuous behavior.

"I assume your reasons for such activity will be discussed with Jamie later this morning. Now," she said, putting her stethoscope in her ears and moving behind him. "This is going to be cold..."

~~~~~

Two hours later, Heero was seated in Doctor Hunter's waiting room. His hands were clasped hands between his knees and he was looking down at his feet while he waited for the receptionist to indicate that the psychologist was ready to see him.

As he'd expected, his physical health was fine. The only thing unknowns were dependent on the results of his lab work. The drug testing would be done on site, but the other tests would be sent to an independent laboratory. They'd be repeated two more times in the future as well, to insure that he was, indeed, free of any communicable diseases.

Although he was well aware of the risks of any sexual activity, he was not particularly concerned. He'd been more than careful. It had been the feeling of someone pounding into him, letting his mind go in that other place, that had been the driving force. He hadn't been out to self-destruct by way of a compromised immune system or even a fiery burning in his nether regions. He winced at the visual image that those thoughts conjured.

He would feel better, though, once he was sure. Then and only then would he know that he hadn't put anyone else at risk. He wasn't worried about Quatre, as it had been just that one time, and that had happened before he'd accepted other sex partners. He did, however, worry about Duo.

The sound of his name being called pulled him from his self-recrimination. He stood and walked into the room where a middle-aged man was gesturing for him to enter.

Jameson Hunter introduced himself and they shook hands before the psychologist took a seat in one of the armchairs. Heero followed suit and waited for the other man to begin.

"I've looked at your record, Heero," he said. "And I am surprised I haven't seen you in here sooner."

Heero said nothing. He'd already covered this with Quatre. You couldn't get emotionally involved in the cases. Once you started doing that, you might as well turn in your badge.

"Why don't you tell me what I don't see in the file?"

It was easier the second time, to talk about Kitty, although, having an unbiased listener this time around, Heero chose his words carefully. He'd already gone through enough self-flagellation for his misguided attempts to rectify things and was sparing with the information he shared.

It didn't take long at all to explain what happened to Kitty, the thing that broke him when nothing else had. Hunter didn't so much as take notes, much to Heero's surprise.

Of course that was just the beginning. Hunter prodded for more information. Asked him to recall one good memory of Kitty. Asked him how they met. Asked him what the first thing he'd thought was when he heard she was dead.

"No..."

"What was that, Heero?" It was the doctor's voice, calm and inquisitive.

"No," Heero said, his voice a bit stronger.

The psychologist looked pleased. "Understand, Heero, that is a perfectly natural reaction. Denial is a natural reaction to a loved one's death."

Heero knew that. He was well acquainted with the stages of grief. They'd been reviewed with him, as well as a few others, to aid in their dealings with those who'd 'suffered a tragic loss.'

Ironically, the agents had undergone 'grief training' in an attempt to prepare them for retaliation from family members of a well-known drug lord that had died during a skirmish. It was the so-called 'second stage of grief' that most agents were already familiar with. Some of the backlash from family would be due to pride, pure and simple, but heaven help the agent who wasn't prepared to accept a double shot of anger from someone whose identity was known but whose whereabouts were not.

"At what point did you start feeling angry?" the doctor asked, sending a chill down Heero's back as if Hunter were reading his mind.

"When the manager suggested it was Kitty's fault she died."

"Do you know why you are here now, Heero? Now, as opposed to right after Kitty's death?"

"I could not separate myself fully from my job. My performance would have been compromised."

There were several other questions asked, all seeming disjointed to Heero, despite their obvious relation to Kitty.

"Why are you feeling guilty now, Heero?"

"I wasn't there for her," he replied automatically.

Hunter shook his head. "No, Heero. I disagree."

Heero would have gaped at him if he weren't forced to realize the truth of what had been said.

"Heero," Hunter said after an uncomfortable silence. "You have a remarkable understanding of your own mind, your own strengths and weaknesses, and what you perceive as your own flaws. You've done more analysis on yourself during your leave of absence than I could ever hope to accomplish in the same time frame, at least as far as your post traumatic stress.

"One thing to keep in mind. It is not uncommon to have a relapse. Just when it seems that everything is under control, there's something that triggers the onslaught of memories all over again. Seeing someone who resembles Kitty might do it, certainly, but the other senses are just as capable of bringing back painful memories. Voices, background noises, and odors are very powerful stimuli.

"I have no reservations about recommending that you return to work immediately, provided there is no need for you to travel extensively or to bury yourself deep undercover where you will be unable to maintain regular contact with me. I will clear you with that one restriction with the provision that you must continue these appointments twice a week. Failure to attend a single session will automatically change your status to inactive, pending further investigation into mitigating circumstances and a reevaluation of your mental stability. You understand, Heero?"

Heero nodded, but his expression was puzzled. He'd expected he'd be lucky to get a desk job for the next few months. He opened his mouth to speak, then closed it.

"There's something you haven't told me, Heero," Hunter continued. "And I have no desire to force it out of you until you are ready. There are a number of things that it could be, but I would stake my career on the fact that it has little or nothing to do with Kitty.

"However, I do not think it is something that you will allow to interfere with your job performance. You will not empower this issue, and I can tell that you've reached a good number of conclusions about it as well."

Heero didn't know what to say to that. It was almost like speaking with Quatre. His hand strayed to the cell phone at his hip. He touched it lightly then returned his fingers to the arm of the chair.

"We're almost out of time for today, Heero," Hunter said. "Keep one thing in mind. This five-stages-of-grief tripe is not like a recipe. You don't have to get through anger before you become depressed. You may never go through the bargaining stage. The important thing is that you allowed yourself to mourn, although I suspect not in a conventional manner, and you have gotten to where you're ready to accept it and move on. It's not just the acceptance that is important, Heero. It's what you do with it.

"You can accept that your house is overrun with termites, but that doesn't mean the house will be able to remain standing without damage if action isn't taken. You've called the exterminators, Heero. Our next few sessions will not only be to keep an eye on the foundation for signs of a new generation of termites, but to determine if carpenter ants have joined the party."

Heero thought his head might spin, but he nodded slowly, then stood up. Hunter did the same.

"You could put me out of a job," Hunter said, looking altogether serious, although a trace of humor and admiration was in his eyes.

He scribbled on a multi-part form on his clipboard, peeled off the bottom page, and handed it to Heero.

"Welcome back, Special Agent Yuy."

~~~~~

"It's a pleasure to finally meet the infamous Heero Yuy," Sally said, shaking his hand. "Sally Po, Mid-Atlantic Lab Rat."

Heero accepted the gesture in a firm handshake, not realizing that it no longer bothered him as much as it used to. Noin, who did notice, quirked her eyebrow at the minor change in her partner's attitude.

"Infamous?" he asked in an amused tone.

Sally rolled her eyes. "How do they love thee? Let me count the ways," she drawled. "I was getting tired of the lovesick sighs I heard every morning. Apparently your arrival at the start of the workday was the highlight of the entire day for the front desk clerks."

"You're exaggerating, Po," Noin snorted.

"You think so? I swear, I thought the two of them were going to start wearing black arm bands," Sally said. "You didn't hear anything because you weren't the one taking his place. I suppose if I looked like your former Adonis," at this Noin rolled her eyes, "then at least they'd have had someone else to drool over. Although they seem to be fickle. After they tired of wishing I was Yuy, they seemed to find another man they'd met to rave about. They're probably tired of mooning over Blondie, though, so I'm sure they'll be thrilled that the original stud is back."

Sally leaned forward and peered into Heero's eyes. "You don't mind, do you?"

He met her gaze curiously as her brows crinkled in thought.

"Po, what are you doing?" Noin asked.

Sally's eyes moved to Heero's spiky bangs. "Hmmm," she said. "Just wondering what kind of chocolate this is. Not milk...must be dark. A lot of people don't like dark chocolate. They think it's too bitter."

It was Heero's turn to snort. Despite Sally's deliberate meandering from the topic, he knew what she was talking about. The two youngest members of the predominantly female clerical staff weren't exactly discrete. The fact that they seemed to be on permanent assignment at the reception desk was either a sign of brilliance or immense stupidity on the part of the DEA.

"Still not sure about the eyes, though," she mused. "So far they've been described using three different gemstones, two of the four elements, a country, two international cities, a vanquished kingdom, and four different flowers. Have you made a habit of flirting with them, Yuy?"

He almost recoiled at the idea, but managed to glare at Sally instead.

She glanced at Noin and gave her a sympathetic smile. "Guess I know what the grapevine will be saying tomorrow."

Noin waved her hand dismissively. "Doesn't matter. There are worse things to be accused of than getting hot and heavy with Yuy here."

Heero looked dangerously close to blushing.

"Hey, Yuy," Sally said, apparently not quite done with her light-hearted tormenting. "I don't suppose you have a platinum blonde Marilyn Monroe wig in your repertoire, by chance?"

'Lorelei Lee,' he thought, then blinked at her.

Sally shrugged. "Ah, well, I suppose they will have to content themselves with only one of their blue-eyed fantasies, then. Besides, you're just not tall enough." She ignored the confused expression on Heero's face and changed topics abruptly.

"I can't tell you how glad I will be to crawl back to Largo," she said. "And use a computer with a REAL keyboard."

Heero perked up immediately, all traces of embarrassment gone. "What's wrong with mine? It's orthopaedically neutral!"

Sally laughed. "I'm not arguing...it's just abnormal."

Noin half expected Heero to swoop down on his keyboard and cradle it protectively. Instead he walked calmly over to it and demonstrated the benefits by tapping on the keys, explaining to Sally all the ergonomic advantages.

Sally actually looked interested, even though she once looked over at Noin and gave an exaggerated roll of her eyes. Heero nudged her hip with his elbow to indicate he'd caught her.

Noin laughed. "It's your turn, Po. You should have seen him the week before it arrived. I think I knew the specs in my sleep by the time he got it hooked up."

"Yuy," Sally said. "It's not natural to type with your palms facing each other. It's like you're ready to hug the computer." She glanced at Noin, who held in the snicker that threatened to erupt.

Heero turned and glared at both of them. "You don't know what you're missing," he huffed. "If you want to develop a cumulative trauma disorder-"

Sally leaned over and put her lips close to his ear. "Yes, dear," she soothed. "Whatever you say." Then she leaned back and fanned herself, winking at Noin as she did so.

Heero glowered, causing Noin to let out another burst of laughter. "Neither of you are acting very professionally," he muttered.

"Pouting isn't exactly befitting a federal agent, either, but you manage to pull it off quite nicely," Noin said. She reached one hand toward his face.

"If you pat me on the cheek, you can forget that neck massage," he threatened.

Sally shook her head. "I don't know how anyone who spent any time with you two could think you were sexually involved. You act like brother and sister. Or maybe an old married couple, because you know they never have sex, either."

Noin sighed. "If you say so." Her tone implied she'd never personally know one way or another.

This time it was Heero and Sally who exchanged glances. Sally looked at her bare wrist. "Will you look at the time," she exclaimed. "I really should get packing. My flight leaves in the morning."

Noin looked surprised. "I thought you weren't leaving for another week."

Sally smiled at her. "I've managed to finagle a way to mix business with pleasure," she said. "How's the weather out west, anyway?"

"Iria?" Noin asked.

"Bingo. The two of us have only spoken on a professional basis since..." she noticed Heero's look of surprise. "Oh, sorry, Yuy. Iria Winner is a former schoolmate of mine. She's been kind enough to act as an external resource while I've been stuck here as a field agent."

"Iria Winner," Heero said. He shook his head and repeated her name. He shook his head a second time, then got up and made a show of checking Sally's sleeve and collar as if expecting to find something there.

"Do you think I'm wearing a wire?" she mused. "Want to pat me down, Yuy?"

He snorted again. "Just looking for any stray threads."

"Threads, huh?"

He nodded, then smiled. "Red ones."

Noin interjected with, "he does that a lot. Says something enigmatic. He thinks he's the Dali Llama or something at times, I swear."

Sally nodded. "Except I get what you're saying, Heero," she said. "Po isn't exactly an Irish name, you understand. I received my obligatory jade stone, too. Think you and I are destined to be together?" She tried to bat her eyelashes flirtatiously, but couldn't pull it off.

"I'd love to chat with you both some more, but I am sure you have a lot to catch up on," Sally said. She reached over and pulled a yellow Post-it note off the side off the bottom of the flat screen monitor and handed it to Heero.

He saw nothing but rows of tally marks and raised his eyebrow in question.

"I started keeping track of every time someone came in here looking for you," she replied.

Noin made an impatient sound. "That's an exaggeration," she said.

Sally shook her head. "Not at all. I'm not saying that they came in and asked for Yuy. They just poked their heads in and saw me, then got this puzzled frown on their face before leaving. Didn't make a big announcement that you were taking a leave of absence, did you?"

Heero shook his head, then frowned. "That reminds me," he said. "Alvarez, you remember him, Noin?"

She put her thumb and forefinger under her chin and closed one eye. "Oh, yeah. You worked with him when you went undercover about a year ago."

A dark look crossed Heero's face. "He needs to be reminded that he could have blown my cover, had I been undercover."

Sally showed no signs of leaving, despite her earlier comments.

"Tell me he didn't," Noin said.

"Apparently someone thinks that it's acceptable to approach another agent and identifying him for all and sundry."

Sally sighed heavily. "A rookie?" she asked.

"Yes," Heero said, at the same time Noin replied "no."

"He's an older agent," Noin clarified.

"Inexperienced," Heero followed up her comment immediately. "Age is irrelevant. He should know better. For all he knew, he could have caused irreparable damage to a case."

"You're going to tell Une," Noin concluded.

"Damn right," he muttered.

"Before I go," Sally interjected. "I wanted to let you know I left you a present." Her words were directed at Heero, who winced as she gestured to the computer screen.

"All the files I've been working on reside in Noin's network directory."

Noin nodded in agreement, then Sally shook her hand firmly. "I'll miss working with you."

"You don't think you're getting out of this that easily."

Sally laughed, a deep, hearty sound. "I do expect to see your ugly mugs via teleconferencing on and off over the next few months." Her face sobered for a moment. "I'm concerned. This substance is still showing up. Someone is carefully engineering its release so the occurrences are seeping primarily into the college sect."

Heero frowned, and Noin took a deep breath. "I hope you've eaten a hearty breakfast," she told him. This could take a while."

Sally bade them farewell with promises to call them from Nevada. As soon as she departed, Noin turned to Heero and gestured to the computer screen.

He sat at his computer, his fingers dancing over the keys quickly as he logged into the intranet. Much to his relief, his password hadn't been reset, although it did prompt him to enter a new one.

With Noin's running commentary, Heero spent the next two hours reviewing Sally's notes, ranging from transcriptions of emergency room cases and electronic sticky notes Sally had used to keep track of comments her lab colleagues had made off the cuff. A copy of the fax Iria had sent recently had been scanned and saved electronically as well.

"The question is," he said, pushing his chair away from the computer and leaning back, rubbing a hand over his face, "whether nor not Romefeller is a cover for another income generating operation, or if they merely have knowledge of what's going on. Either way, it looks like this has the potential to spread nationwide very soon, if it hasn't already."

"You were, of course, the person Relena hinted about," Noin said. "I wish I could say I figured it out myself when she called me with the information the other day. Damned Zechs," she muttered. She returned to her own desk and started powering it down. Her finger was on the monitor's power button when she turned her chair to face him.

"It's good to have you back, Yuy." Noin's tone was matter-of-fact, but her eyes lit up warmly as if suddenly realizing it was the first time they'd seen each other in months. She looked far more tired than he, and Heero felt a twinge of guilt that she'd been dealing with this while he'd been...he tamped down on that thought.

He stood up and crossed to her chair, then spun it so it was facing away from him. He put his hands on her shoulders and started working on the tension there.

"It's REALLY good to have you back," she groaned in satisfaction. "If ever you need to take a second job..."

He grunted.

"I was worried about you. Wondered how you were doing. I should have known you'd find a way to stumble upon a potential case. Oh, right there," she sighed as one of his thumbs worked on a knot near her shoulder blade.

"Relena's a sweet kid. I'm sure you thought so, too," she continued.

He made a sound that she assumed was agreement.

"Something bothering you, Yuy? You're not usually this monosyllabic." His fingers slowed down for a moment before he resumed his work on her neck and shoulders.

"Relena Peacecraft is the type of person you want to protect, even though you know she has the strength to stand on her own. She just needs the opportunity to exercise it."

"See? And you only knew her for what, a day? Zechs never could see that she couldn't be shielded from reality forever. In another time, another era, he'd epitomize chivalry, I think, with a generous helping of aristocracy. He never pulled that protective male crap with me."

"He knew better."

She laughed. "Damn it, Heero," she said, leaning her head forward into her right hand. "I can't believe I went to see him."

"You're a good friend, Noin."

She groaned again, but not as a result of anything Heero was doing. He removed his hands and moved to the edge of the table where their printer resided, leaning against it so he was facing her. He crossed his arms over his chest and waited.

She looked up at him, taking in the eyes that Sally had apparently heard more about than she'd ever want to. Noin's own grew wide as something occurred to her.

"Noin?" Heero prodded.

"Zechs," she breathed. "He knew you had blue eyes." Her brows furrowed as she recalled Sally's comment earlier. "I never told Sally what he looked like, either. Son of a bitch! He was here, damn that asshole. I could wring their scrawny necks."

"Lucy and Ethel?" Heero asked, referring to the indiscrete clerks at the reception desk.

Noin was livid. "Yes, those two addle brained gossipmongers. Unprofessional. Damn them. Damn him." Her features alternated between fury, disappointment, hurt, and a little bit of that schoolgirl crush that Sally had affected earlier.

"I'm a complete idiot. Tell me, Yuy."

"You're an idiot," he repeated automatically. Then he repeated the comment in both Spanish and Japanese.

"The point is that he didn't trust me, though. Right? It's not going to change anything, just because he came here to see me. I'll bet it was when we were in Buffalo. Damn it."

She bit her lip and worried at it before releasing it.

"Heero," she said tentatively. "Be honest. Not that I think you won't be, but don't try to avoid hurting my feelings, okay? Tell me the truth."

He looked at the pleading expression in her eyes and nodded.

"I shouldn't even be considering giving him another chance, after he made me feel like a nymphomaniac who couldn't maintain a modicum of professionalism. I should castrate him for even thinking I'd consider throwing away a relationship I invested a hell of a lot of time in - more than he ever did. I should be hog-tied to prevent myself from doing something stupid like calling him.

"We loved too young," she said. "Too young, too hard, and too much. At least on my part. Too damned much. I suppose the circumstances under which we met weren't exactly conducive to a typical wining and dining romancing, but I don't think I'd have thought of him the same way if it had. Comrades before lovers, though - wouldn't you think that would have set a solid foundation?"

She closed her eyes and massaged her temples. "I dislike this feeling...this temptation...to just forgive him anything. It's like there are two sides of my brain at war. One side remembers what it was like working with him, before the physical attraction kicked in. We worked together well, Heero, much like you and I do. You know what I'm thinking half the time before I finish forming the thought."

She looked up at him and he nodded.

"I think if it had started from simple infatuation," she said with a frown. "This wouldn't even be an issue. I respected him as a soldier first, then as a man. He respected me as well, but perhaps not as a woman.

"Then I continue to make these allowances for him, Heero," she sighed heavily. "It's got to be love, or extreme stupidity, because I seem incapable of letting him go, despite the fact that he's a pompous ass."

She went on in that vein a while longer, and Heero prompted her at various intervals with nods and grunts. It was apparent when she was done that she was more than aware of all of Zech's faults, as well as taken her share of the blame when it came to having a chip on her shoulder, as a woman in the military and as Zechs' rival. That comment reminded Heero of Meiran Long and Wufei Chang, although through most of it he felt the way he imagined Jameson Hunter must have earlier, watching someone work through their problems on their own.

It convinced him all the more that he'd made the right decision in California.

Noin seemed to come to a conclusion of her own. "Is it giving up too much of myself to offer him a chance to walk all over my feelings again?" It seemed as though she were asking herself, then she looked up at her partner.

"Tell me one thing, Heero. If I do give him another chance...give our relationship another chance...will you still respect my ability to make decisions in a crisis?"

Her words reminded Heero of another question.

//Can you imagine anyone going to the lengths Christine did for the man she loved? Could you ever be that devoted to someone?//

He reached over and nudged Noin on the shoulder with the thumb side of his fist.

As their eyes met, she noticed that his lit with determination.

"Yes."

~~~~~

Duo scratched behind his left ear as he signed the last form on his desk, then threw the pen down with a sigh of relief.

He had slept away most of the previous day, after arriving in New York at six in the morning. By the time he'd gotten home from the airport, he hadn't even unpacked before dropping his clothes haphazardly as soon as he crossed the threshold of the bedroom. He'd collapsed on the bed and fallen into a dreamless sleep.

The first thing he'd done when he woke up was call Wufei, who hadn't seemed at all surprised that Duo wasn't at the office yet. He'd suggested that Duo come back the following day, and he'd be more than happy to teleconference with Duo if he wanted.

Duo had declined. He'd unpacked his carryon and then remembered he still had luggage somewhere at LaGuardia. He'd showered and dressed, then transferred the contents of the pockets in the pants he'd dropped on the floor to his jeans. The dirty clothes went either in the hamper or on hangers for the dry cleaner, and he drove to the airport, stopping for a cup of coffee and a bagel on the way.

It had been grueling, dealing with the less-than-perky employee in baggage claim, but fortunately his suitcases had been easily located among the "unclaimed." Unfortunately the contents had been searched thoroughly as part of increased security measures, and he'd almost snapped at the airport official who'd insisted on seeing every form of identification Duo possessed before he was allowed to reclaim the disarray that was his luggage.

Then he'd gotten home and tackled the unpacking chore once again.

When his fingers had made contact with one of the cardboard boxes, he'd withdrawn his hand with a slight hiss. He'd shaken his head at the ridiculousness of his reaction and placed the two boxes in the closet of one of the spare rooms. The one furthest away from his.

His right hand had slid into his pocket for a moment. He'd pulled it out, along with some pocket lint, and scratched his head. He'd then realized the bagel hadn't been sufficient nourishment at all, and he'd ordered delivery food for lunch.

The last chore he'd decided to tackle was his grocery shopping, and after that he'd plopped on his sofa with the remote control. He'd forced himself to watch another recycled movie plot before turning off the television all together.

The night had seemed to drag, Duo remembered, rubbing his temples rather vigorously. It was good to be in the office, where things were back to normal. Wufei had acted as if it were just another day, and for that Duo was grateful. The only thing he couldn't pretend didn't exist was their latest acquisition. That, and Meiran's suggestion for relocation.

His cell phone rang, and he picked it up, noting the phone number on the display with surprise. He stood up and placed his right hand in his pocket, the left one holding the phone to his ear after he accepted the call.

"What's the matter?" he asked gruffly. "Thought of a few more things you forgot to tell me?"

"Duo," she said. "I'd like to see you."

Duo closed his eyes briefly, then opened them. He supposed he was curious, more than anything.

"Fine."

~~~~~

They hadn't been at this restaurant for nearly a year, Duo realized, as they took their seats at what had been their favorite table. It was funny how the little details seemed obvious now. How long had they missed out on doing things they used to enjoy?

"Are you feeling OK, Duo?" she asked, concern etched on her features.

"Worried I'm languishing over a broken heart?" he asked, his eyes narrowing.

"No!" she said. "No, of course not. You just seem tired."

He rubbed the back of his neck. "I am tired, Hilde. I spent a week tap dancing around the whole Peacecraft issue, and for once things didn't go quite the way I envisioned."

"So Meiran said," she replied carefully. She took a sip of her drink. Her moistened lips glistened. "That's not necessarily a bad thing, Duo."

"Stop putting words in my mouth," he growled.

She put down her glass and sighed. "Duo," she said. "I would never dream of trying to anticipate what will come out of your mouth."

"I certainly don't proclaim that I'm an expert at what comes out of yours, either."

She frowned slightly. "I'm sorry, Duo. That's why I wanted to talk to you. About that phone call -"

His eyes grew wide and he raised an eyebrow. "You want to get back together?"

She laughed, ignoring the scowl that resulted. "Don't be ridiculous, Duo. If it didn't work the last twelve times we tried, what makes you think it would work this time?"

"Thirteen is a lucky number," Duo said.

"Duo," she said, her smile turning wistful. Her right hand reached over to grab his left. "I am sorry I broke up with you the way I did, over the phone. It was cowardly of me, I suppose, but I didn't want to wait until you came back. I felt that would be almost like lying, to pretend I'd be there waiting, the faithful puppy, eager to see her master again."

"I've never treated you like that."

She nodded. "I know you didn't, Duo. That's not the point and you know it. I just thought you'd like to know as soon as I did."

"Why then?" he asked. "Why not before I left for California?"

She blushed slightly. "This will sound stupid."

"I'm used to that from you," he said, his grin appearing almost genuine. She lightly kicked him under the table.

"I didn't know, Duo," she confessed. "I thought everything was fine. Then you left, and I realized I felt relieved."

"Relieved."

"Yes," Hilde nodded again. "It was like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Not that you are a burden, Duo, but I wasn't as tense as I had been." She shook her head. "This is not coming out right. I just knew that it was a good thing you were gone, and that isn't how it should feel when someone you love is away."

"Someone you love," he repeated slowly.

She winced. "I do love you, Duo. I think part of me will always love you. It's just...take Meiran for example. She and I see each other rarely, and we only know each other through you and Wufei. Yet I enjoy spending time with her when our paths cross, like they did this morning, and once in a while I think it would be nice to do it again, but I can't say I actually miss her." She picked up one of the forks off the table. "I felt that way when you were gone. I love you, Duo, but...I guess the thing is...I've realized I'm not IN love with you."

She set the fork down, and Duo noticed it was bent slightly.

"You love me, but aren't in love with me."

"That's right."

"What about sex, Hilde?"

"What?"

He leaned over the table slightly. "You're saying that you want us to remain friends, I assume."

"Of course, Duo."

"With benefits?"

If he'd hoped for a stunned reaction, he was disappointed. "If I thought you could handle it, Duo, sure."

He sat back. "Sure?"

"You're a good lay, Duo," she said with a shrug. "You know that, because I don't fake anything. The thing is, Duo, that sometimes sex makes you think that there is more to a relationship. I think it would be a mistake to resume the physical side of ours until we are comfortable with our new status as friends." She eyed him carefully. "Then, maybe, with benefits."

~~~~~

Duo wasn't sure what Hilde meant by all that. That was to say, he did, but for some reason he had a hard time applying her logic to other...situations.

There was too much going on at the office, he decided, that was making it difficult to focus. Wufei had been making arrangements to fly back to California to keep an eye on Sanquhar's development, and apparently Meiran was planning to meet him there in a few days to scope out living arrangements. It was almost a done deal, Wufei and Meiran moving out West.

It saddened Duo a bit.

"Duo, your hair," Hilde said, breaking him out of his reverie.

"My hair?"

She nodded, reaching out to touch some of the stray wisps near his temples. "It's a mess, Duo."

He bristled, running a hand over the length of the tightly braided hair. "It is very neat."

"I know," she agreed amiably. "But the texture...did they stop making that conditioner you swear by? It's rather lifeless and dry looking."

He shook his head. "I switched to a different brand."

She frowned. "It took you forever to find one you liked."

"It was time for a change," he snapped. When he'd realized he must have left it at the hotel in Beverly Hills, he decided it was a good time to explore a lot of new things.

"And you have dandruff, Duo," she said.

He rubbed his hands through his hair, and she looked surprised. "Duo."

"What now, Hilde?"

"The dandruff."

"You said that already."

"No, Duo, I mean...it's still there."

~~~~~

The following afternoon, Hilde was wearing the thickest elbow length rubber gloves she could find. She was busily massaging medicated shampoo through Duo's hair. She sighed when she had to open a second bottle, and again when she got to the third.

After the seventh sigh, this one because she was trying to juggle holding the hair aloft and rubbing it with both hands while keeping it from dripping past the drop cloth they'd spread on the kitchen floor, Duo growled slightly.

"I'm sorry, Duo," she said, not sounding very apologetic. "But it takes a while to work it through all the strands, and I still have to comb it through to the ends. You could do it yourself, you know."

"And have that shit drip in my lap? I think not," he snorted. "Maybe I should just cut it all off," he added bitingly.

She snorted right back. "Yeah. I see that happening."

He bit back a reply and thought about it. Why not? What purpose did it serve, really? He'd grown it out to spite a woman he hadn't seen in nearly ten years. It was a bitch to care for, and it had taken him a long time to find just the right conditioner to get it to remain smooth...

"It makes me look gay."

Her hands paused in their ministrations, and she sighed again.

"Duo, I'm really sorry I said that to you. Maybe I was a little bit angry, and said things I didn't mean."

Like we've always done to each other, she added mentally, finishing the last of the application and picking up a fine toothed comb, starting at the top.

"Really," he said, wincing as she hit a snag, but not wanting to interrupt her train of thought by correcting her technique.

"I don't know, Duo. Maybe I meant it, a little. The reason I called you yesterday is because I want to clear the air. You and I have known each other a long time, even before we got physically involved. I guess I hoped we'd still be friends, the way we were..."

The way we were before. The way we were when we weren't together. The way we got along when we were in between 'being together.'

Not necessarily 'with benefits.' She grimaced at the thought. Maybe that would be a mistake. A security blanket for both of them.

"I think you were right," he said.

Her hands stilled. "You what?"

"I think you were right," he repeated.

"Oh." She finished combing the shampoo all the way through his hair without another word, stripped off the gloves and set the timer for twenty minutes, then sat down.

"It stings," he commented. It took her a minute to realize he was referring to his head.

"Tell me again how this happened," she said, gesturing to thickly covered hair she'd piled on top of his head.

"I don't know," he shook his head, then stopped when she frowned at the motion. It toppled anyway, the wet mass making a smacking noise as it hit the back of the chair and the towel over Duo's shoulders. "The nurse I spoke to thinks I got it from the airport pillow." And I should have done more to it than rip it to shreds, he thought viciously.

She laughed, and he scowled darkly. "It's not funny, Hilde."

"I know," she said, trying to sound soothing but failing miserably. "But Duo, no one catches head lice from airport pillows."

"They DO," he insisted. "Apparently the damn things can live long enough to transfer from head to pillow to new head."

She started to put a hand over her mouth to control her snickers, then remembered that she might want to wash her hands first, despite the gloves she'd used. "I've never heard of anyone catching head lice that way. In fact, I've never heard of anyone catching them past the third grade."

"Well, apparently I'm special," he groused.

"Aw, Duo, don't sulk," she said, her tone light and infectious.

"You're lucky I love you, Hilde."

She stopped breathing for a second. "What did you say?"

"You're lucky?"

She made a sound of frustration. "You're impossible, Duo Maxwell! Do you realize it's the first time you've ever said that to me?"

"It is?"

She shook her head. "Outside of the bedroom, yes. You were never in love with me, were you, Duo? This, it's easy for you to say it now, because you mean it. Just...just not the way I'd once hoped you did."

"I'm sorry, Hilde." Duo's voice was very quiet.

"It's okay, Duo," she said softly. "You're just lucky I love you, too. And maybe...just maybe, I felt this way much longer than I realized."

They fell silent until the timer went off, and then Hilde put the gloves back on. She gathered the coated strands of hair and held as much as she could in her hands, then walked Duo to the sink where she rinsed his hair carefully.

"Hey, Duo?" she said, as he toweled his hair briskly.

He peeked at her from underneath the terry cloth hood.

"I was hoping perhaps you'd be willing to accompany me to a networking event I have to attend."

He grinned at her. "Friends with benefits?"

She punched him in the arm, recognizing it as a joke. "Beast."

"You and Meiran have got to start acting more ladylike," he complained, rubbing his arm and looking wounded. The towel covering his bangs ruined the effect.

"You know you don't mean that."

"When's the big gala event?"

"Don't worry, Duo, you'll have plenty of time to eradicate your little parasite problem by then. Unless you catch herpes from a toilet seat, or something," she teased.

Duo was in the middle of draping the towel over the back of a chair and picking up a wide toothed comb when her words registered.

He hadn't thought of that. Hell, what if he had caught something?

"Duo?"

He shook his head and started combing, snapping a few of the wet strands by tugging a bit too hard. Her hands were on his shoulders, pushing him back into the chair. She took the comb away, washed her hands, and began running it slowly and carefully through the strands, starting at the bottom this time, to assist him in the arduous process of detangling his hair.

"Tell me about this thing you're dragging me to," he said, his voice cheerful.

She fell for it. She always had, Duo noted almost sadly, as they entered into light banter about networking in general, sycophants, and the difficulty in feigning interest in what most of the attendants had to say.

After she left, he called and made an appointment with Oliver Gibson.

~~~~~

"So, Duo, explain to me why you are here," Gibson said, leaning back in his chair casually.

"I have engaged in some rather high risk sexual practices," Duo said, meeting his physician's eyes without blinking.

"And you wish to be tested for sexually transmitted diseases."

"Yes."

"I will need to ask you a few questions, Duo, to assess risk and determine incubation time. We can decide then what you'd like to do."

"I expected as much." Duo was embarrassed, but he didn't plan on showing the doctor he felt that way.

"I assume you have not been monogamous."

"No. Not really." He realized that was evasive, and he clarified. "Two partners."

"And these two partners...what time frame have you been involved with them?"

"I was monogamous with the first until about three weeks ago. The second was a week ago."

The doctor made some notes.

"How active were you a week ago?"

Duo glanced at the pamphlet in his hand and looked at the list of various activities, ranging from no risk to high risk.

"Very."

"Which activities have you engaged in?" Gibson gestured at the pamphlet.

Duo didn't need to consult the list anymore. He again looked right at the doctor and rattled off the pertinent items.

"Receptive oral sex with protection. Insertive oral sex without. Insertive anal sex with protection. Receptive without."

There was a moment of silence in the examination room, and Gibson frowned slightly. He opened his mouth as if to say something, then closed it. Duo's gaze was almost unnerving, and he cleared his throat before speaking again.

"What do you know about your recent partner's sexual history?"

"Receptive oral and anal sex with protection. Multiple partners, history unknown."

"Are you sure, Duo? Has your partner always used protection previously?"

Duo didn't hesitate. "Positive."

Gibson made another note on Duo's chart, then closed the folder.

"I am sure you don't need me to tell you that your recent sexual practices have included the one act that ranks highest for the risk of transmitting..." he trailed off as he saw Duo's eyes narrow. "There is a window, Duo, which you are currently in at the moment. To test now would be inconclusive. The earliest I could test would be after six weeks-"

"I will come back then."

"Hear me out, Duo. That might be enough time for some conditions to test positive, but a negative result at that point would not necessarily mean you haven't been exposed. I would need to repeat the tests again after three months."

"Then we will repeat them." Duo stood up. "I'll make an appointment with the secretary on my way out. For the laboratory tests in six weeks and in three months."

Gibson sighed. He was well aware that Duo had the money to pay for the blood work. He circled some numbers on the standard patient diagnosis sheet and handed it to Duo. "Give her this and she'll make sure you're scheduled for the full gamut of tests."

"Thank you," Duo said stiffly. Just before he left, he heard the doctor say, under his breath, "I just hope that you don't regret what happened."

I already do, Doc, he thought. I already do.

Liar, another part of his brain whispered.

He handed his paperwork to the appointment secretary and told the voice in his head to mind its own business.

tbc

~~~~~

Copious footnotes and apologies and explanations, sorta...

My thanks to all whom were kind enough to tolerate my impishness with the April Fool's chapter ("Bringing Mayflowers") posted a few days ago. Sorry to make you wait so long for this. RL hasn't been cooperating with the muse.

If you missed the April Fool's chapter and really want to know what prompted the virtual thwaps, glares, confused looks, and death threats I received, you can read it here:
http://home.comcast.net/~mookietwinkie/edulcorationaprilfool.htm

Would it make up for anything if I said that all the comments I received on Heero's little, ahem, daydream-slash-fantasy, from Chapter 53 (Thursday's Child) prompted me to commission a print, or would it make me sound egotistical instead? Either way, if you'd like to view the artwork done by Kracken, it can be found at
http://home.comcast.net/~mookietwinkie/heeroduoshooting4.jpg.

Aga in, my thanks to Kracken for taking on this commission piece!

~~~~~

I referred to the television show Dallas at the beginning of the chapter, when I was reiterating that the previous post was a joke. In case you have no idea who Bobby Ewing is or what Dallas is besides a city in Texas, it was a prime time soap opera back in the late 70s (it ran 1978-1991) that starred Larry Hagman as the infamous J.R. Ewing. At least J.R. was infamous at the time...the whole "Who Shot J.R.?" was quite a topic of discussion and speculation during the second season hiatus (1980).

What has that to do with the April Fool's chapter? Bobby Ewing, one of the main characters was killed off, then the actor (Patrick Duffy) decided to come back to the show, so the writers turned the entire seventh season into a dream. You can read a bit about the pickle that created, if you really want to know, by going here: http://www.ultimatedallas.com/newdream/faq.htm

For info on the show itself, check on the International Movie Database:
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0077000/
- or - The Official Series Website here: http://www.ultimatedallas.com/

~~~~~

Paris blue, Berlin blue, Chinese blue - all synonyms for a very well known color in the GW fandom, one that is named after a now defunct kingdom that at one time included regions of modern day Germany, Poland, and the Soviet Union.

I'm sure almost everyone is familiar with the four elements - air, water, fire, and earth - once believed to compose the physical universe. The twelve signs of the Zodiac are categorized into these four elements.

If you're curious about Heero's keyboard (and darn it all...some day it will be mine...maybe) you can see what it looks like here: http://safetype.com/

Note on head lice: I am taking some minor liberties with the onset of symptoms for the parasitic Pediculus humanus capitis. In order for nits (eggs) to be visible, a female louse must first lay the eggs. It is highly unusual for symptoms such as itching to appear in such a short period of time, and itching in general is dependent on one's sensitivity, although some people are able to feel the lice moving before they realize that's the tickling sensation on their scalps.

Can lice be transferred via airline pillows? Yes, but only within a specified window of time after an infested person uses the pillow. There is no cleaning of the pillows in between flights, although some airlines do toss them at the end of the day. It really is a very low risk, but it's possible. And in the world of fiction, that's all that's needed, regardless of how improbable it may be.

By the way, ever wonder what a "cootie" really is? It's a body louse, which is a different parasite than a head louse. Head lice are marvels of environmental adaptation, as their legs are evolved to the point where they grasp the hair shaft - they ain't goin' nowhere unless they want to. So most kids don't usually get "cooties" in the literal sense, but head lice are another story!

And no, you can't catch herpes from a toilet seat.