Hikaru No Go Fan Fiction ❯ For the Love of the Game ❯ Growing Pains ( Chapter 1 )

Title: For the Love of the Game

Author: hostilecrayon

Paring: 2x1

 

Warning: NC-17

Disclaimer: I do not own Hikaru no Go, but oh how I wish I did. The characters are not mine, but the plot, if you really want to call it that, is mine, and mine alone.

 

Notes: This fic is Shounen-ai citrus. Meaning: Sexual intimacy and romance between two males. Don't like, don't read.

 

Also, expect outrageous amounts of fluffiness. Yes, an epic amount of fluff. It's good for the soul.

 

 

For the Love of the Game

 

Chapter one is background plotting, so there really isn't any romance of any kind just yet. But, of course, background is needed to establish a good base to work from. I hope you enjoy it anyway! ^.^

 

Chapter 1 - Growing Pains

 

Damn. Hikaru watched his rival stamp a win for himself… and a loss for Hikaru. Damn.

 

Touya was still ahead. He just couldn't seem to fully catch up. Today marked his fourth straight loss to his raven haired rival this week.

 

It was only Tuesday.

 

They played each other frequently, almost too frequently, and it was obvious that, even though Shindou could still surprise them every once and a while, Touya Akira was still completely out of his grasp. Shindou usually won once every third game, sometimes every fourth, with some intuitive move that Touya hadn't pondered, but today was his fourth straight loss. Was he getting worse? Or was Touya just getting even better? Today was an official match, too. That's just one more win he needed to move up in rank.

 

Shindou Hikaru, now a 4-dan at 18, was still three ranks away from his rival. If he hadn't missed all of those matches during his first year, he could be a rank or two higher… but that couldn't have been helped. At the time, he had to stop, he had to realize, and he became stronger because of it.

 

That didn't stop him from regretting it.

 

Touya's familiar voice broke his thoughts, stating, as usual, the obvious. “That's your fourth straight loss, you know.”

 

“So?” His face grew hot and he looked down at the Goban, carefully avoiding eye contact with his amused rival.

 

“So, I thought you were trying to catch up to me, Shindou. It looks to me that you're getting farther away.”

 

“Thanks for that observation, Touya.”

 

“Just thought you'd like to know. Shall we start the post game discussion?” Touya's tone was flat, his eyes fixed on the board as he lowered himself in his spot across from his opponent.

 

This was a normal occurrence, Touya teasing Hikaru, an argument breaking out during the post game discussion, and Hikaru stomping out of the establishment. But for some reason or another, Hikaru didn't feel like it today. Maybe it was the widening gap between himself and his rival. Or maybe it was his fear of moving out on his own. He couldn't be sure. But whatever the reason, he just couldn't bring himself to fall into their friendly routine. He didn't feel like fighting with his rival, even if the adrenaline rush that followed was always motivating. “I don't want to discuss the game. I just want to go home.”

 

Home. In only a few days, he'd no longer call that place home. It was time to move out, and Hikaru knew that, but… he couldn't explain it well. His eyes grew distant, and an obviously shaken Touya followed Hikaru with his bewildered gaze as he sulked out of the room.

 

***

 

That just wasn't like Shindou at all. Was his teasing a bit overboard? No, that couldn't be it. This was too routine to have bothered him so much. But what exactly was bothering Shindou?

 

Touya sighed as he gathered the stones and put them in their respective goke. He never did understand his boisterous friend.

 

Friend. It was something Touya often used to refer to Shindou in his mind, but he wasn't so sure the other boy felt the same for him. Shindou was Touya's first real friend, and, he mused, it was kind of nice. He would even go so far as to call the blonde banged boy his best friend. They spent everyday together and played at least two games a day. Well, that was all they did together, really. But they met at the Go Salon everyday to play.

 

Well, that wasn't entirely true. Shindou did sometimes take him off to random places with Waya, who hated his guts, and Isumi, who was completely neutral to him. Shindou was very good friends with both of them, but Touya just seemed to… stand out. But the gesture was nice, at least.

 

But Shindou seemed very distant lately, and he missed the simplest of moves during play. It just wasn't like him. Maybe he'd ask him about it at their regularly scheduled afternoon match.

 

Touya pushed Shindou from his thoughts and collected his jacket and shoes. He had a few things to do before their game, and Touya Akira was never late.

 

***

 

He tossed his backpack with lackluster and collapsed on his bed. He stared at the ceiling that, in three more days, would no longer be his own. He turned his gaze to his Go set sitting neatly in the corner. He hadn't used in much since Sai left. The game with Isumi that restored his career and a few games with Akari, but that was it.

 

Sai, what would you think of me now? So terrified of moving out on my own that I can't even play Go correctly…

 

Things wouldn't be so bad if Sai were still around. He was sure that Sai could at least give him some advice and make the move smoother. But the What If's weren't going to help him any. He forced himself to get up and set himself in front of the TV. He grabbed his Gamecube controller and began pounding away at a much neglected game of Tales of Symphonia. He didn't have much time to play his games now that Go had taken over his life. Thanks to Sai. He reminded himself.

 

Well, he couldn't blame it entirely on Sai. Sai gave him the push, but Hikaru chased Touya with his own determination. And in the process, he had developed his own love for Go, a love that rivaled Sai himself, but not quite for the same reasons. All the same, his goal was and always had been to catch up to Touya.

 

Touya… Damn! He leapt from his game and ran out the door. He had almost completely forgotten about the game with Touya. At this rate, he'd be more than a half hour late. Pushing himself faster than he could go, he almost tripped down the stairs, thrust his feet into his shoes, and dashed out the door.

 

***

 

Touya looked at the clock again. It was already 5:35. Shindou was supposed to be there at 5. He was often late, but this was getting ridiculous. Did it have something to do with the distance he felt from his friend? If so, he still could have called. But good manners aside, it was quite unnerving.

 

For the third time since he arrived, he began to place the stones in the order of a game long since past, analyzing each move as he placed it. He was trying with all his might to concentrate and not keep throwing glances at the door.

 

This ate here was premature. The play on this move should have been to protect the upper right formation. This is why black lost.

 

He looked up again. It was 42 after, and Touya sighed as he cleared away the stones. Maybe Shindou wasn't coming after all.

 

Just as he was getting ready to excuse himself from the Salon, he heard familiar harsh breathing. He looked up to see a two toned head looking at the floor panting like he'd just ran a marathon. It took him several minutes to recover before he finally approached Touya.

 

“Sumimasen.” Was all he said as he took the chair across from his rival.

 

Touya was quite irritated, but he held his tongue at his friend's lack of explanation. Usually Shindou burst out into a long, complicated explanation about why he was late, trying desperately to convince Touya that it was not his fault at all. But there was nothing.

 

And the distance grew.

 

“Shall we Nigiri?” Shindou nodded. “You're black.” Another nod. Shindou played an upper right Hoshii. Touya played a lower right Hoshii. Shindou didn't move. “Shindou, it's your turn.”

 

“Oh.” He took a stone and placed it on the board with absolutely no feeling.

 

“Shindou?”

 

“I already went.”

 

“I know that. You just don't seem to be yourself today. Is something wrong?”

 

“Hmm?” Shindou's eyes never left the board, though Touya was sure he couldn't see it.

 

“There's no feeling in your Go lately. Is there something wrong?”

 

“I don't want to talk about it.” His tone was cold and flat, nothing like the loud mouthed kid he usually was.

 

“Sumimasen, it isn't my business to pry, but…” But what? What could he say to Shindou? He felt like he knew him well enough to be able to at least ease this pain a little. But Shindou was completely shutting him out.

 

“Then don't.” Touya's eyes narrowed as his friend stood up and walked out of the Salon. How ungrateful, I was only trying to help and he just walks out on me, in the middle of a game no less! Touya was half fuming, half worried as he replaced the couple of stones that were played.

 

What the hell was wrong with Shindou?

 

***

 

He should have just told him. He was polite enough to ask, but that's probably all it was. Touya only thought about the game. If the game wasn't going how he wanted, it was only natural for him to try and make it the way he wanted. But, it really was a friendly gesture. Hikaru could have at least tried to explain.

 

Not that Touya would have cared. He thought bitterly.

 

Touya had moved out a year ago. He'd probably tell Shindou he was being irrational and that living alone is only natural for someone his age. And he'd probably make some snide comment. Shindou didn't want to deal with that. He wasn't in the mood for Touya's taunting. He turned the corner, finally walking down his own street.

 

He didn't care if Touya thought he was being immature. Touya Akira had always been independent. He couldn't understand how he felt. He wasn't even sure Touya felt anything outside of the Go world. They often played together, but neither of them had ever been to the other's house. They had each other's cell phone numbers, but Touya only ever called him to play Go. Shindou, on the other hand, invited him out with Isumi and Waya frequently. But somehow, he always managed to look like he wasn't enjoying himself at all.

 

He could see why Waya detested him so much.

 

But then, Waya didn't know Touya quite like Shindou did. He sighed. He was being too hard on Touya. He knew why Touya didn't enjoy their outings. He was uncomfortable. He wasn't used to the setting, and Waya made it very obvious he wasn't wanted. Isumi was just plain indifferent. But then, Isumi was always like that. He had ever watchful eyes, and he could somehow see moves far ahead, on and off the Goban.

 

For some reason, Touya never turned Shindou down in spite of how he felt.

 

Damn it. He stopped in front of his house and pulled out his cell phone. He didn't want to be at home, to sit in the place he knew he had to leave. He dialed Waya's number.

 

“Yeah, hey Waya. What? Oh, nothing. I'm just a little down. Yeah, still worried about the move. Well, what would you say to a round of mini-golf? Yeah? Alright. Tell Isumi-san. I'll call Touya. Yes, he has to go. Shut up Waya, he's going. Alright, yeah, meet you in front of the snack bar. Yeah, okay. See you there.” He clicked end call and walked away from his house.

 

He walked a couple blocks before dialing Touya's number. He still wasn't sure what to say. He felt pretty bad about just leaving him there.

 

It rang three times before he picked up. “Hello Touya. Um, I apologize for earlier. I've just been feeling really down lately. No, it's nothing serious. Hey, I was wondering if you'd like to come with us to play mini-golf. I figured it might help me release some stress, and I want to make it up to you for earlier. Yeah, we're meeting in front of the snack bar. You'll come then? Good, I'm glad. I apologize again. See you there.” He clicked his phone off and headed towards the Putt and Play.

 

***

 

Touya sighed heavily. Another night out with Shindou and company was not at all what he wanted to be doing. It wouldn't be so bad if it was just Shindou, but he really didn't know how to act in front of the others. Not to mention, he'd never played miniature golf before. He just happened to know where it was. Why couldn't they just play a nice, quiet game of Go?

 

He couldn't say he was completely ungrateful for the call though. It meant that Shindou thought of him as more than just a rival. And he always seemed to feel more like a kid with them. They acted so childish, and yet, it was something Touya secretly liked. He had never experienced things like that until he met Shindou. He was always surrounded by adults. He couldn't really say he completely hated their outings. He even secretly waited for those phone calls, even if he usually ended up feeling out of place in the end.

 

He wanted to be able to let loose like the others, but it just wasn't him. He couldn't do that. Not Touya Akira, the one said to have the most promising talent in the Go world. Not Touya the 7-dan. But he wasn't just Touya the 7-dan. He was Akira the 18 year old. Somehow, no one seemed to notice.

 

As a matter of fact, only his parents and some of the adults in his life even called him Akira. Not even Shindou, the best friend he'd ever had, ever called him Akira. It felt… a little lonely. Of course, he didn't call Shindou `Hikaru', but… well, it just didn't feel right. What if Shindou was offended? What if he didn't want to be that good of friends with him? Well, Shindou called Waya and Isumi by their sir names as well, so I guess it wasn't something to worry about. But he'd like to think that he knew Shindou better than Waya and Isumi.

 

He shrugged it off as he walked through the doors and was hit by a gust of cool air. It only took him a moment to spot the snack bar, and Waya and Isumi standing in front of it. Great. Shindou isn't here yet. He prepared himself for Waya's dirty looks as he approached the two boys.

 

He bowed politely. “Konbanwa Isumi-san, Waya-san.”

 

Through clenched teeth, Waya replied, “Konbanwa, Touya-san.” It was obvious Waya didn't like addressing Touya with any sort of respectful title, and Touya just ignored him.

 

“Konbanwa, Touya-san.” Isumi said calmly.

 

“Shindo hasn't arrived yet?” He looked around hopefully.

 

“No, but he should be here soon.” Isumi politely responded. Waya just grunted. “So how have your matches been going? Good I hope?”

 

“Yes, I've been doing well. I had my 13th straight win on record today. Though I think that perhaps it may have been a loss had Shindo not been so distracted. You, Isumi-san?”

 

“I've been doing quite well myself. I was promoted to 5-dan today.”

 

“That's wonderful.”

 

“Has Shindou talked to you at all about what's been bothering him?”

 

“Not at all. He left our afternoon match only moments after it started. He said he didn't want to talk about what was bothering him.”

 

Isumi pulled at his chin. “Just as I thought. He thinks you'll make fun of him.”

 

Touya was taken aback by this statement. “Make fun of him? Why would I?”

 

“Because you're the great Touya.” Waya said disgustedly. “You always look down on Shindou, and the rest of us for that matter.”

 

“I do not!”

 

“No, I suppose you don't. You look at him as an equal that you want to squash sounds a little better. Don't you think so, Isumi-san?”

 

“That's enough Waya.” Isumi's voice was firm, but calm. He turned his attention back to the emotionally ruffled Touya. “Shindou is moving out of his house. He doesn't want to tell you it's bothering him because you moved out a long time ago. He thinks you'll tell him he's stupid and immature.” Touya gave him a puzzled look. As an afterthought, Isumi added, “He cares a little too much what you think of him.”

 

Touya pondered this for a moment. “But why is he so scared to move out of his house?”

 

“That's why he didn't tell you! Someone like you could never understand!”

 

“Waya, I said that's enough!” Waya cringed under Isumi's piercing gaze. “It's simple really. He doesn't know how to take care of himself. He's never had to. He can't do laundry, grocery shop or even cook. He doesn't know what he going to do without his mother.”

 

It was true that Touya had always been independent. His father was often visiting other countries or going out of town for tournaments, and his mother would accompany him at times. He learned to cook at a very young age, and he could do everything from the shopping to the laundry by the time he was 12. It never really occurred to him that other people didn't have to learn. “I see.” He said slowly. “Well, I could always teach him some things.”

 

“What are you going to do? Move in with him and be his mother for him?” Waya scoffed, then quickly hid from Isumi's gaze.

 

“Well, Waya has a point. If you don't live close, it would be rather difficult.”

 

“I hadn't thought of that.”

 

“Just try to be sympathetic to Shindou about his position, even if you can't understand why he is so upset.”

 

“I will. Thank you for telling me.” He gave Isumi a small bow.

 

“Hey guys! I'm here! I hope you weren't waiting too long.” Shindou skidded to a halt in front of the three boys. He flashed one of his winning smiles. “Let's play!”

 

***

 

All in all, the night had gone pretty well. Touya had been a little frustrated with the game, and it was obvious he had never played, but even he seemed to have fun.

 

Shindou stretched out on his bed, chuckling to himself at the night's events.

 

“What's with that scary face, Touya? It's just mini-golf! You don't have to be so competitive about it!”

 

“No no, you have to bounce it off the side at an angle like this, see?”

 

Yeah, it was fun. Shindou drifted to sleep, feeling much better, almost not worrying about his problem. Almost.

 

***

 

The fateful day had arrived at last. As he placed the last of his boxes in the moving van, he looked back at his house with a burning regret. At least his friends were being supportive.

 

He looked over at the three of them, Touya, Isumi and Waya, waiting for him to finish his slow movements and get in the car to leave. Touya had been exceptionally supportive, which was a little odd, but reassuring all the same. They hadn't had any fights over the Goban, and even when Shindou would tell him a move was stupid, he'd just accept it and agree.

 

Even Waya was trying his best not to be mean to Touya today. He was very greatful.

 

“You ready?” Waya said as he approached.

 

“…Yeah, I guess. Let's go.” He gave one last look of longing towards what used to be his bedroom window before he climbed into the backseat of Isumi's car with Touya.

 

It was a short drive, less than 15 minutes, when they pulled up next to an apartment building.

 

“You're moving in here?” Touya asked.

 

“Yeah.” Touya's eyes widened, but Shindou was too involved with his own thoughts to notice.

 

It only took two hours to move all of his stuff in, and the four of them sat on his new floor unpacking boxes together.

 

“Don't worry Shindou. It's not that bad living alone.” Waya said with a grin.

 

“That's easy for you to say. Isumi-san lives with you.”

 

“Well, I moved out on my own first, you know!”

 

“Yeah, and you lived off fast food and mooching off your parents.” Shindou chuckled half-heartedly, desperately trying to ease his own tension and failing miserably. “You didn't even have a place to do your laundry!”

 

Waya blushed slightly. “Well, I was only fifteen. There's nothing wrong with that!”

 

“Except you still can't do your own laundry.” Isumi chimed in.

 

“You do his laundry for him?” Touya gasped.

 

“Yeah. I guess it's not too bad though. I make him do the dishes. Then again, he's constantly breaking them. I'm surprised we still have dishes.” The four of them chuckled together, all of them having fun, except Shindou. His laugh was hollow, and he was realizing more and more all of the things he couldn't do by himself.

 

“Isumi-san, do you… um… think you could maybe teach me how to do laundry?” Shindou's face reddened considerably.

 

“Why don't you have Touya teach you? His apartment is across the hall.”

 

Touya looked up at Isumi with surprise. “You knew?”

 

“Well, after that conversation we had, I decided to look up where you lived relative to where Shindou was moving. It's a simple matter of getting it from the Go Institute. I must say, it's a stroke of fate you guys live across from each other.”

 

Shindou brightened up considerably. “Would you really teach me how Touya?”

 

“Yeah. I can teach you how to cook and some other things as well if you wish.”

 

For the first time that day, a real smile broke out on Shindou's face. “I guess moving out won't be so bad. This will give us a chance to get to know each other better, too.” He grinned despite Waya's angry scowl. Touya flashed one of his rare smiles, and the rest of the day went smoothly.