InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ "Shards of Our Memories": The Soap Opera ❯ Chapter 10: My Guiding Light ( Chapter 10 )

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Inuyasha…

A/N: Whoops! Well it's been almost a month since I posted last chapter, but being so busy with school and all, plus writing three other plot lines at the same time, means that I have less time for this story (though I still love it! My wonderful brainchild!) It took me a while to figure out exactly how to write this chapter, but I'm glad it turned out the way it did. It's quite normal- no huge cliffhangers or anything- but prepared for the doozy next chapter…it'll get a little more emotional…

And, right now…the new set of nominees for Season 5 of Fanfiction Elimination is now pending…this story may end up being nominated for the competition…so, if I do get to go head-to-head with other fics, I hope you'll all follow the link in my profile to vote for me! If I do get through, I'll probably repost this chapter so you guys will be notified.

Please review! Thanks!

"Shards of Our Memories"

CHAPTER 10: My Guiding Light

Had he been thinking about her all weekend, the way she had thought about him? Kagome had spent her time shopping with Rin, talking to her mother over the phone, doing menial chores at home…but her mind had been preoccupied throughout each task. She had an undeniable pang of desire to see Inuyasha again…more than ever, every time his picture floated into her mind, so did other thoughts….the feel of his fingers on her arms, her waist, in her hair. The caresses of his demanding lips.

Kagome felt that she was good at not lying to herself. There had been a connection, right? Otherwise all those things, all those feelings…she wouldn't feel them so strongly. Her heart fluttered with a small excitement. Inuyasha and her would be acting in a scene together today. She would ask him….well, she didn't know quite what her plan was, but she knew that her spirits were soaring at the moment.

And Sango…I wonder if she's recovered yet from the shock of Miroku on a date.. she hadn't spoken to her friend either…not since the afternoon before their date. She hoped deeply that Miroku had been intelligent enough to reveal his beautiful side to Sango, and her the same. She had noticed that they both had a bad habit of letting their insecurities get the best of them, and closing off their real selves to those around them. They deserved each other.

Rap, rap.

Kagome saw it was Kouga at her doorway, through the mirror's reflection. He looked hesitant, moody, his deep blue-green eyes flashing.

"Hey, Kouga…." She said, brightly, waving him in. "Know your lines for today's shoot?"

He nodded with a small pout. Great…he and Inuyasha really are too much alike sometimes…

"You know, Kagome…" he said, the wavering in his voice belying his bravado. "I…really like you…"

She nodded slowly. She was wary of what direction her was heading in.

"But, you're interested in….Inuyasha….aren't you?" He tried not to sound disgusted when he said it.

Kagome flushed. Nobody except Sango really knew the truth about her feelings. Had it been obvious to everyone around them, or was Kouga just extra-perceptive because of his crush on her? She hadn't even admitted her feelings for Inuyasha out loud yet. She gulped, Kouga's eyes pleading for an answer.

Was this what would show him that she wasn't interested in anything from him other than friendship? She smiled regretfully as she nodded. "I do…like Inuyasha….a lot…"

Kouga nodded reflectively in response, looking a little dejected. Then, his old shine returning to his face, he grabbed her hands, squeezing them tight between his own. "Well, then…I just hope you know that relationships don't always work out the way you want them to…so if that jerk Inuyasha tries anything stupid….I'll always be here for you…" He aimed for a cocky grin, but failed.

Kagome grinned gratefully. He was actually letting her go- she couldn't believe it. "Of course, Kouga…thank you for understanding…" her voice was sweet and he blushed under her thanks.

He dropped her hands after a moment, and edged awkwardly towards the door. "So….be careful…."

"I will….thanks…"

"So, see you out at the stage." He lifted his hand in a wave that tried too hard to be casual, and then he left.

Kagome stared after him, her mind still processing exactly what had taken place. And, she blew out a sigh of relief. She really did like Inuyasha…she had actually admitted it aloud.

"Outta my way, wimp…"

"I'll walk wherever I want to, asshole!

"Feh!"

SLAM.

Kagome rolled her eyes, as she heard the two macho voices drifting from down the hall, followed by the slam of the door. Obviously, Inuyasha's here. Despite her exasperation at his normal daily rudeness, her mind was recalling all the reasons she had been awaiting his arrival. Rolling off her chair, she quickly made her way to her doorway so she could meet him between their doors.

He didn't notice her as she watched him rush to his dressing room door.

"Hey." She said, lightly.

He spun around, looking surprised to see her there.

"Hey…are you OK, Inuyasha?" She noticed almost immediately how drawn and pale he looked, his eyes red-rimmed and strained. But, his face warmed as he looked down at her, a small smile pulling at the corners of his lips.

"Yeah…" he said, in an uncharacteristically soft fashion. "I'm just…tired…that's all."

"Are you sure?"

He snorted a little at her tone. "Yeah….yeah…I'm a barrel of monkeys, I'm so full of fun…thanks for asking, though…"

She glowed. A `thanks' from Inuyasha was truly a miracle.

There was a brief silence in between them, as they searched for words to say. They both knew what they desired to tell the other…they just weren't easy words to speak.

"So…" she began, nibbling a little on her lip. She might as well come out with what she wanted to say. "Are you busy tomorrow night?"

His bright eyes widened in surprise. "Yeah…No…I mean…." He rolled his eyes at himself. "No, I don't have any plans tomorrow night. Why…?" The question was hopeful.

She smiled in a quiet way, and he watched, fascinated, as her cheeks turned slightly pink. "Do you….want to come over to my place for dinner? I was planning to make something special…and there's no point in just cooking for one…"

Oh God, Kagome…you sound so desperate, she berated herself.

He smirked slightly, but nodded his acceptance. "I'd like that."

She felt a surge of happiness run through her. "Of course….if you're not feeling well, we can wait.." she stammered.

He held up his hands to silence her. "No, I really mean it…I feel just fine." A half truth.

And, without warning, Kagome placed her small, cool hand against Inuyasha's forehead. "You're sure that's not a fever? You look so flushed…"

Inuyasha wanted to respond that he wasn't blushing because of sickness.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

So, there he stood at her doorway, tempted to run away. Though the idea of being invited over to Kagome's apartment, to see her outside of work, and to be given an opportunity to further their relationship sounded utterly appealing…the truth was that he was frightened. It felt as if one false move on his part would make her realize what a big phony he was. He certainly wasn't any kind of dream man that Kagome deserved.

Besides, he still felt guilt lingering over him. Despite the excuse he had told Kagome about being "tired," his momentary lapse into his old depression weighed down on him. It was as if Kikyo's memory had a hold on him that he couldn't shake…was he really ready to shake it?

Raising a hesitant hand, he gently knocked on her door with his knuckles. Was he too early? Too late? Maybe this was a pity dinner….

And then, all of his fears were suddenly at ease. Kagome stood in front of him, looking the same way as she always did- fresh and beautiful. She was smiling sweetly, and the butterflies in his stomach settled down as he stepped inside.

"Can I take your jacket?" She asked, automatically reaching up to his shoulders to pull off the light windbreaker.

"Sure," he said, wriggling out of the coat with ease.

She disappeared into the hall closet, slipping his jacket onto a hanger. "I hope you don't mind a little bit of a mess!" Her muffled voice sounded from the hall. "I didn't have much time to clean up. And…I'm sure it's a bit smaller than what you're used to…" she blushed, self-consciously, "but, I think it's cozy."

He looked around at the soft portraits of beach landscapes, light blue furniture, and scrubbed floors, squeezed in between the apartment walls. It was warm and welcoming, no matter how small it was. "No…I think it's nice." In fact, Inuyasha was sure he already liked it much better than being alone in his own sprawling house.

Smiling gratefully, Kagome clasped her hands together. "I'm glad! Well, I was just beginning to make dinner, so if you want to help me…" She bustled into the compact kitchen, and Inuyasha followed.

He grinned at her back, watching her fumble through the back of her refrigerator shelves to find various ingredients. "What are we making?" he asked, lightly, fingering the chipped edge of the countertop tile.

"Salmon and pasta…" she replied, pulling out of the fridge. "It's my favorite meal…I hope it's fine with you…"

He nodded reassuringly. "I'm not much of a cook, but I can do whatever you need me to help you with."

Kagome smirked teasingly. "You can boil water at least, right?"

Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "I'm not that bad…I've cooked ramen a couple of times.." he returned, looking overly pleased with himself.

She smiled to herself. She liked the way he was now. No inhibitions or clouded words…alone, he was truly a different person. And even- dare she say it- charming?

"What are you smiling about?" he asked, gruffly.

She shook her head lightly, setting out all the ingredients in a line. "OK, first you're going to fill up the pot over there with water…" She pointed to the silver cooking pot that sat on the stove. Inuyasha followed her directions as she instructed him on cooking the long sticks of pasta.

She noted how lost he looked in the middle of a kitchen. Maybe all he ever did cook was ramen….

"So, you know that Miroku and Sango went out together Saturday night?"

Inuyasha grunted in surprise. "Sango? On a date with him? What'd he do- blackmail her into it?"

Kagome giggled. "Something like that….I think they really like each other, though."

Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "I don't believe it….he's far too much of a pervert for someone like Sango."

Kagome clicked her tongue in disagreement. "I think you'd be surprised, actually…."

"Sango likes perverted guys?!"

The disgusted incredulity in his voice made Kagome laugh aloud. "No, not that. He's just different around those he feels comfortable with. Now, there's no doubt that he certainly is quite the perv…" Inuyasha snorted. "But it's not his entire personality." Kagome slipped out the fish fillets from the refrigerator, setting them on the countertop. "In fact, when I talked to Sango last night, she sounded kind of dreamy…"

Kagome noticed how Inuyasha was staring at the fish as if it were the most perplexing item in the world. "What are we supposed to do with these?" He asked.

"I take it you don't cook much at all, do you?"

She took his silence as a `yes.'

She produced a small knife from a door beside her, handing it to him. "For now, just cut it into smaller pieces." It looked like the directions had been good enough, as Inuyasha began, almost expertly, paring the pink meat into tiny slices.

Kagome watched his work with a close eye. "And I think Rin has a thing for your brother…" She giggled.

Inuyasha almost dropped the knife. "Sesshomaru?!" His exclamation sounded like a mix between a bark and a laugh.

Kagome laughed at his reaction. "I almost said the same thing when she told me all about it. She thinks he's just so cold because he's shy….like he's some prince charming in disguise, or something.."

"Huh….well, my brother's not exactly a romantic guy, I can tell you that for a fact. I can't remember him ever caring about girls…or guys, for that matter. Anything that doesn't factor into strictly business, is usually not worth the second glance."

"I had gathered that. It's a hero-worship thing, though. I think she might like him even more than she likes the show…"

Inuyasha smirked as he worked on the fish. "You certainly seem to get into this kind of thing…"

She grinned. "I think it's all so romantic though…and, it's such a natural part of life…."

He paused for a moment, and looked straight at her. She raised an eyebrow, silently asking why he had stopped. "…You're right…it is…" She frowned in confusion as he turned to the food once more. For whatever reason, Inuyasha seemed to have reached a conclusion inside his mind.

She shrugged it off, as she noticed some tiny bones sticking out of the fillet. Inuyasha was trying to flick them out with his fingertips, and wasn't getting very far doing so. "No…not like that…" she said, softly. Carefully placing her hand over his hand that held the knife, she demonstrated how to nick fast at the small bones to cause them to slide out.

He flushed slightly, her small hand splaying over his with ease, and her front pressed against his arm. She, very quickly, noticed what she had been doing, and her hand left his immediately. The kitchen was silent for a moment, as Inuyasha began to hurriedly flick at the fish again, and she moved to check the cooking pasta.

Their backs were turned to each other in the small kitchen, though Kagome would have noticed the small smile on Inuyasha's face, had she been still standing next to him. He slowed his work on the food, thoughts racing through his head.

Kagome had commented that romantic thoughts and actions were a natural part of life. He had come here tonight, with memories gnawing at the back of his mind, loyalty to Kikyo pulling at him, and fear of making a fool of himself in front of Kagome. He had truly thought that it wasn't proper of him to let go of his past, and to become closer to Kagome. But, it feels too right.

She wasn't, could never be, a replacement for Kikyo.

No matter how much they looked alike, Kagome was Kagome…and something about her was calling him to her.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

A/N: So, what'd you think? I know…I know…it's not exactly the most romantic setting….holding hands over…..raw fish. But, real life doesn't make much sense anyway, I suppose. Yay! Inuyasha is opening up some more…trying to let go of those pesky memories! (screw the past!! XD )

Might want to bring some tissues for Chapter 11, called "Dynasty of Memory." I'm not done with it yet…but it promises to be somewhat of a tearjerker…

And a note to everyone who asked: Yes, this story will remain at 12 chapters. Why? Cause I planned it out that way. ; ) I outlined it from the start to end at twelve, and that's what I'll write. But, don't worry, if you REALLY want more of my stuff, I have more stories (shameless plug). I'll be coming out with a really exciting/darker fic called "Unforgiven" in a month or so….or you can try out "A Match Made in Heaven"- InuKag goodness all the way!! (endless shameless plugging)