InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ A Fool's Redemption ❯ Shutting Out the Sun ( Chapter 15 )

Chapter 15 - Shutting Out the Sun

It was starting to rain again. Inuyasha could hear the larger drops striking the windows as he climbed the stairs in his apartment. There had been no light left on for him tonight; the entire place was dark. A short walk to Kagome's room and a glance behind the curtains confirmed she wasn't home.

The clock on her nightstand read a quarter past one. Probably out with Sango, he thought, wandering back to his side of the loft and into the bathroom. While a small part of him had been hoping for the opportunity to bully her into another bath with him tonight, the larger part, grouchy from sleep deprivation and sore muscles, was actually a bit relieved to finally get some time alone after having had barely a moment to himself over the past few days. The work had been exhausting, the days too long, and the nights not nearly long enough.

There had been no rushing the repair job. Instead of the simple patching he'd hoped for, the project had turned out to be a complete section replacement. He'd spent much of the last few days slogging through icy mud, thanks not only to the leaking pipe, but also to the blustery, persistent storms that always came through this time of year, heralding the winter season. Luckily, it hadn't snowed, even though it was almost cold enough to, and for that he was grateful.

After peeling off his damp, dirty clothing and leaving it in a pile outside the shower, he walked in and turned the water on and up as hot as he could stand. Even after removing his clothes and stepping under the hot spray, his skin felt clammy and chilled. He hated the cold, but not the simple drop in temperature kind that could be easily guarded against by warm layers of clothes or chased away by a space heater or fireplace. It was numbing cold he hated, the kind that settled deep into the body and bones, chilling so thoroughly that, after a while, one might begin to forget what warmth felt like.

His years in the lab had done just that; years of feeling a cold table at his back, cold air surrounding him, cold instruments on and in his skin, watching the cold faces above him, staring down at the “animal” they'd created. Cold was the key that opened doors leading to darker places in his mind.

Suddenly realizing one of those doors had inched open a crack, he quickly slammed it closed, forcing himself to concentrate on the hot water rolling down his body, letting it melt the aching chill from his muscles. Once he felt his body beginning to relax, he reached for the shampoo bottle and set to work scrubbing away the day's worth of sweat and grime.

*****

She was laying on the bottom of a lagoon, staring up at the churning surface of the water high overhead. Rays of sunlight flickered down through the waves, illuminating brightly colored fish floating through the water around her. She watched as an eel, shots of electric blue pulsing through its body, passed by, disappearing somewhere below the railing of the terrace.

Kagome frowned. That wasn't right. Her head spun horribly as she struggled to sit up and look around, realizing the images around her were nothing more than the illusions of the underground hall. She was on Inuyasha's terrace, sprawled across the couch. Why was she on the couch? How long had she been laying here? And why was she here in the first place?

She squeezed her eyes shut against the dancing lights, cutting off the nauseating effect they were having on her stomach, and tried to remember what she'd been doing before she had—evidently—fallen asleep. She couldn't remember a single thing. Her memory stopped short at the moment she'd stepped into the hall. There was nothing about what had followed except the vague, nagging feeling that something had gone very wrong. Fighting back a panicked whine, she quickly took stock of her condition, and was relieved to find that other than her spinning head, nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary with her physically. Just what the hell had she drank that would put her in such a state?

Home. She just needed to get home. I'll sleep it off and then it'll come back to me, she thought, swinging her legs off the couch, testing them as she stood slowly. They were shaky, but not completely useless. The bigger challenge would be staying upright long enough to get back to the apartment. Doing the best she could with her unreliable legs, she made her way toward the stairs. After a pause on the landing to curse the long iron staircase separating her from the ground floor, she cautiously began her descent, hands tight on the railing. It ended up being easier than she'd expected, so long as she concentrated on keeping her balance and made sure to keep a steady foothold from one stair to the next.

Kagome reached the last step and started weaving her way through what little remained of the earlier crowd, heading toward the elevators. A dull ache had settled between her temples and was beginning to compete with the nausea to see which could make her more miserable. It only increased her desperation to get home and into the comfort of her bed.

She joined the small group already waiting for an elevator and focused on trying to keep her body from swaying as she waited. She didn't notice the presence behind her until a hand suddenly took hold of her forearm. Barely managing to stifle a surprised yelp, she turned toward the person, trying to pull away, but only succeeded in throwing herself further off balance. But the hand held tight, joined by another on her opposite arm, keeping her firmly upright until she was able to steady herself.

“Easy. I've got you,” soothed a familiar voice.

Kagome looked up to find red, worried eyes staring down at her.

Naraku.

The unpleasant thing buried somewhere in the back of her mind moved again, struggling to be acknowledged.

Red eyes.

He'd been with her. Had he been with her? She still couldn't remember, but why the hell not?

The grip on her arms softened. “I can't believe you made it down those stairs all by yourself,” he said, casting a quick glance over his shoulder in the direction of the staircase, then turned back to her. “Why didn't you wait for me? I was only gone a minute.”

Kagome stared up at him, trying to dredge up some memory that would explain his words. “What?” It was the only response she could come up with.

“You were dizzy and wanted to lay down for a while, remember? I stayed with you until I left to use the bathroom, and when I came back you were gone,” he said, eying her with concern. He raised a hand to brush his thumb gently along the line of her jaw. “Why did you leave?”

She didn't realize she'd flinched away from his touch until his expression suddenly turned wary. “What's wrong?” he asked.

“Nothing. Sorry,” she said quickly, noticing the elevator was about to arrive. “I just want to go home.” His presence was making her nervous, and the fact that she didn't know why was only increasing the feeling.

“Alright, but let me help you at least,” he said, leading her into the elevator. “You still look a little shaky.”

Realizing she was in no condition to argue, she walked into the elevator with him and leaned against the glass as the doors slid closed behind them. The gentle lurch of the elevator moving upward sent another wave of nausea rolling through her stomach and another shot of pain through her head, but she tried not to let it show. The more aware Naraku was about how much she was struggling, the less likely he would be to let her go home unattended.

He stood quietly by her side during the ride up, letting the conversations of those around them fill the silence. Kagome tried her best to ignore the occasional curious glances being cast their way. It was bad enough she looked like a drunk. People might have ignored her if she'd been alone, but having Naraku there hovering over her only brought more attention. Thankfully, she found her legs working better as they made their way from the elevator into the darkened atrium, but while the nausea had abated some, the pain in her head was still steadily growing worse.

“Don't walk so fast. People will think you're trying to get away from me,” Naraku said as they neared the center of the atrium, amusement in his voice.

Shouldn't she be? It felt like a good idea at the moment, though she still didn't understand why. “Sorry,” she mumbled.

“Kagome, tell me what's wrong,” he said, concern lacing his words again.

When she didn't respond, he added softly, “Please.”

She sighed. She just wanted to get home and be left alone for a while, but that was no reason to give him the silent treatment when he hadn't done anything to deserve it.

“I can't remember,” she said.

“Can't remember what?”

“Anything,” she admitted. “I've lost the entire night.”

He paused for a moment, then asked, “Did you black out?”

“I don't know,” she said. “What happened up there, anyways? You were with me, right?”

His steps slowed and he took her arm, pulling them both to a stop. When she turned to ask why, she was surprised by the expression on his face. He looked completely dismayed.

“You really don't remember?” he asked, the disbelief in his voice mirroring his new demeanor.

“No,” she answered.

It was his following silence that once again stoked the terrible unease she'd woken with on the terrace. He smiled sadly, and she suddenly had a dreadful feeling she didn't want to hear whatever it was he was about to say.

“We kissed,” he said.

She stared up at him, all the progress she'd made regathering and reassembling the scattered pieces of her mind instantly destroyed.

“Or rather, you kissed me,” he amended gently. “I had hoped you'd remember it.”

Her heart was slamming high in her chest as she opened her mouth and struggled for a response. Frantically searching her memory, she again found nothing but a void where the events of the last few hours should have been. “I...kissed you?”

Naraku gave her his sad smile again. “You leaned into me before I had the chance to react. I'm sorry. I should have realized you still weren't in your right mind. I didn't know you'd had that much to drink.”

“I can't remember...”

He was quiet for a moment before saying, “That's a shame. It was a very nice kiss.”

There was the charm again. He was using it in an attempt to console her. Burning with embarrassment, she covered her face with a hand. What had she done? It wasn't like her to drink herself stupid and then get frisky with the first man to come along.

And with Naraku! Of course she admired him, especially after the attention he'd shown her lately. With his outstanding looks and debonair charisma, who wouldn't? But she hadn't taken his advances very seriously. How could she, especially after Inuyasha had begun opening up to her?

The distress must have been showing on her face. “Does it repulse you that much?” Naraku asked.

“No!” she said quickly, looking up at him. But the disappointment in his eyes made her glance away. “That's not it.”

Another pause, and then, “You're thinking about Inuyasha, aren't you?”

She wasn't entirely sure what she was thinking about. There were too many things spinning through her head at the moment to focus on just one. She didn't give him an answer. Once again, they stood in silence, until Naraku finally let out a heavy sigh and took her hand, resuming their trek across the atrium toward the elevator.

What a cruel girl she was. He'd been making his intentions known for a while now, and instead of giving him a response one way or the other, she'd dragged her feet. And even though it hurt to admit it, she knew it was because she didn't want to turn him down until she knew for certain whether or not things with Inuyasha would work out. And now it had completely blown up in her face. First she'd made him think she was interested, and now she was telling him, in so many words, that the whole thing had been unintentional, a drunken mistake. Thoughtless, selfish, stupid girl.

“I'm so sorry,” she said as they reached the elevator, swallowing her shame and looking up at him.

“I'm not,” he answered, reaching out to push the call button.

She blinked up at him, surprised by his response.

The lighting in the atrium was so low that the bright blue of the illuminated button lit up his face, and she saw that a new expression had settled there. The disappointment had turned to determination, but there was still a hint of sadness in his eyes. “Though, I am sorry for misinterpreting the mood,” he continued, meeting her gaze directly. “We'd been getting along so well lately that I thought perhaps you and I wanted the same thing. That's why I didn't stop you.”

He paused for a moment, looking as if he was carefully choosing his next words. “However, I won't apologize for kissing you, Kagome. It's not my intention to come between you and Inuyasha, but I wanted to at least try, before he stole you away completely.”

His words seemed to suck the breath from her chest. How was she supposed to respond to something like that? She stared up at him, frozen in place as he lifted a hand and reached behind her.

“Elevator's here,” he said.

Glancing over her shoulder, she realized he was holding the door open for her.

“Thank you,” she said softly, backing into the darkened elevator.

Instead of following her, he stood where he was, keeping the door open. He reached, pressed the button for the top floor, and said, “It's been my pleasure, Kagome. I hope that, perhaps, there was some pleasure in it for you as well. Good night.”

Before she could respond, he stepped back and the door slid closed with a soft mechanical hum. Her legs had gone weak again, and the sudden uplift of the glass enclosure made her lean heavily against the railing for balance. She watched him as the elevator lifted away, leaving him in the deep shadows of the ground floor. He'd turned away and was heading back the way they'd come, his normally confident posture withered slightly. Naraku wasn't someone who walked with his head down, and to see him do so now stabbed at her with fresh guilt.

As the elevator reached the middle of the tower, Kagome's mind began swimming again. The stimulating rush of endorphins that both waking on the terrace and Naraku's confession had provided was wearing off. Whatever it was in her system that had caused her to pass out the first time around was threatening to do so once again. She groaned and willed the elevator to go faster, eager to get her feet back on unmoving ground. Damn it, she thought. Please, just let me get home and in bed.

By the time the chime sounded signaling she'd reached her floor, she was already at the door, waiting for it to open. She leaned back as it slid aside, and stepped into the long curved hallway, heading as quickly as she could toward the last door separating her from the refuge of the apartment. She didn't think about the stairs she still had to climb to get to her bed. She'd worry about those when she got to them. And if Inuyasha was home, maybe he could help her...

That though was disregarded almost as quickly as it came to her. The last thing she wanted right now was for Inuyasha to see her in this state and lay into her with questions. She doubted she'd be able to stay conscious long enough to try answering, anyway.

Reaching her apartment and silently blessing whoever had thought up the keyless entry system, she placed her hand on the rounded device beside the door and pushed her way inside.

The apartment was dark. Either Inuyasha wasn't home yet, or he was and hadn't bothered to turn on any lights. Knowing him, it was probably the latter. Usually she could at least rely on the natural light from the stars to give her some help getting around, but not tonight. It was still overcast outside. The small amount of light that did make it through the windows was murky, created by the outside city lights reflecting off the low clouds.

Kagome made her way to the base of the stairs, trying to be as quiet as possible. Thankfully, the path between the apartment door and her stairs was relatively free of obstacles. Most of the furniture on the bottom floor was situated in the sitting area in the middle of the room, well out of her way. She climbed the stairs carefully, keeping her eyes focused—for what it was worth in the near-darkness—on the placement of each foot, and her ears open for any sound that might alert her to Inuyasha's presence. It wasn't until she reached the top that she looked across the loft and noticed the light seeping out from under his bathroom door. So that's where he was.

The small exertion of traveling up the stairs was beginning to make the room spin, and it hadn't done anything to help the pain in her head, either. She sat heavily on the bed, fully intending to at least take off her boots, but the need to lay down was too great, and she fell back onto the bed without a second thought.

*****

“Much better,” Inuyasha sighed, rubbing his hair roughly with a towel. He was no longer cold, but he was still tired and sore, and all he wanted was to curl up in his bed—preferably with Kagome beside him—and sleep for a day or two.

Where the hell was that girl, anyway? He knew she wasn't home yet. She would have let him know if she was. He glanced at a small clock he kept on the counter next to the sink. It was already after three.

Dragging a pair of sweat pants in one hand and yanking a comb through his tangled hair with the other, he nudged open the door and stepped out into the cold air of the loft. As he'd expected, the place was still dark. He moved toward the heater by his bed, entertaining the sudden mischievous idea of crawling into her bed to wait for her, wearing nothing but his underwear. Her reaction to finding him mostly naked in her bed would be good for a few laughs.

As he reached for the switch at the top of the heater, he paused. A light sound, familiar but unexpected, had caught his ear. No way, he thought, pulling on the sweat pants and hurrying to the other side of the loft. He pushed aside the curtains of Kagome's bedroom enclosure and stared at the dark figure laying on the bed. Her chest rose and fell with each soft breath that met his ears.

“Kagome?” he said, frowning when she didn't respond.

“Hey,” he tried again, walking to the side of the bed where she lay, switching on the heater as he passed it. It glowed to life, washing them both in soft red light. He sat down beside her and looked her over carefully. Other than the fact that she appeared to have fallen into a very deep sleep while still fully clothed, nothing appeared to be wrong.

Drunk? he wondered incredulously. She got tipsy from time to time, but he'd never known her to get completely wasted. Leaning over her sleeping form, he took in a curious breath, concentrating on separating and identifying the many different scents she'd come home with. There was a hint of liquor on her breath, but it was faint.

She must have spent time dancing in a big crowd tonight. He could smell the different perfumes and colognes of the people she'd brushed up against. One cologne seemed a bit stronger than the others, but he couldn't be sure. There was something else there as well, on her breath, something he couldn't identify, that was even more faint than the liquor scent.

He sighed and stared down at her. What the hell did you get into tonight? he wondered silently, brushing a few stray hairs from her face.

“Kagome?” he tried one more time. When she didn't respond, he decided to give up. She probably just needed to sleep off whatever it was that had put her in this state.

And once she did, he'd never let her hear the end of it. The thought brought a smile to his face as he stood and set to work removing her boots. He considered her outfit as he worked, but realized that removing any more clothing, whether it was for the sake of her comfort or his enjoyment, would put the serenity of the coming morning at risk. So he left the rest of her clothes alone and pulled her further onto to the bed with him. He drew the covers up over them, and paused a moment before settling in.

“What a pain,” he murmured, leaning over her, feeling very clever for turning the words back on her. But they elicited no response, not even the smallest sign that she'd heard him. He gave a huff of frustration and collapsed onto the bed.

*****

Everything was fine for a while as Kagome floated back and forth between dreaming and waking. Then the sound of Inuyasha's breath drifted past her ear, and it was just enough to pull her out of her peaceful limbo. Sunlight burned her eyes as she blinked unhappily at the uncovered windows. The remote for the blinds was on the other side of the loft beside Inuyasha's bed, and she must have forgotten to close them the night before...

And then the fog of sleep finally lifted from her mind and she remembered why. Last night nothing had mattered, least of which the blinds, other than getting upstairs to the safety of her bed. She didn't even remember taking her shoes off, which had obviously happened somehow. Most of the details of the night before were still hazy, as if she'd only dreamed them. But the dull ache in her head was still there, and even though it was significantly weaker now than it had been before, it was still a painful confirmation that everything she did remember had been very real.

Waking on the couch was still her first memory of the evening. As much as she'd been hoping a little sleep might help her remember whatever it was that had happened before that, there was still just empty time where, according to Naraku, something very important and very disconcerting should have been.

Slowly, she turned her head to look at Inuyasha, his sleeping face inches from her own. Guilt sliced through her and panic began to take over. She'd kissed another man. Why had she done that? What was she going to do now? What was she going to say? What could she say? Silently, she berated herself with every combination of curse words she could think of until realizing the tension was causing her to hold her breath. Letting it out slowly, she shut her eyes and struggled to calm down.

It's alright. It'll be alright, her inner voice soothed. It was a misunderstanding, a mistake, a moment of weakness. Whatever. Inuyasha will understand. He'll understand. She opened her eyes and stared at his handsome face, set with eyes that were just now beginning to look at her with affection and, most importantly, trust. Despite working so hard to gain that trust, it was still thin as glass and easily broken. Her hopes dissolved with a shuddering breath.

He won't understand. He'll be mad. He'll think I betrayed him. He'll hate me again. He'll...

She buried her face in the pillow, willing the inner voice to silence.

Shut up, she told herself. Calm down and think straight. There was nothing she could do about the situation while laying in bed. Glancing at the clock, she realized it was almost time to get up for work, anyway. Might as well start a little early. It was better than laying there and dwelling on things she couldn't change. What she could do was go find Naraku the first chance she got and try to clarify, with a sober mind, just what had happened between them. But it would have to wait until her work shift was over.

In the meantime, she would have to hope that Inuyasha wouldn't get curious and start asking questions. It would be better if she just managed to avoid him as much as she could. Which wouldn't be easy with him sleeping right beside her. Slowly, so as not to wake him, she sat up and edged her way off the bed, turning off her alarm clock as she stood.

“Where you goin'?”

Damn. So much for not waking him. “Bathroom,” she answered, heading around the bed toward the bathroom door, praying he'd go back to sleep.

“'Kay,” he mumbled.

She couldn't help but smile at his morning dopiness. The smile faded though, once she found herself staring straight into the face of her own reflection in the bathroom mirror. Her eyes were red-rimmed and framed in dark circles, and her hair looked as if she'd fought her way through a hurricane to get home the night before.

“Ugh,” she groaned and headed quickly toward the toilet. After relieving her bladder, she reemerged from the small side room that housed the toilet and grabbed a brush, trying to smooth out her hair before she had to face her image again. She pulled it into a loose twist to keep it out of her way, then turned back to the mirror to deal with her face. She hoped a little soap and water would help perk up her reflection.

Halfway through her normal washing routine, just as she was getting ready to rinse her face, she felt another presence move into the bathroom. Her eyes were tightly shut but she could still sense he was there.

“You should get some more sleep,” she said, being careful not to get soap in her mouth as she scrubbed. Go away, she thought at him.

“Probably,” was his yawning reply. “I've got the day off, so I'm not worried.” He was silent for a moment until she began reaching for the faucet. “So what the hell did you get into last night?”

Kagome froze, fear suddenly twisting her gut. But his tone was passive, almost uninterested. There was no anger in the question, only what sounded like mild curiosity.

“Nothing,” she lied, recovering enough to turn the handle and begin splashing water over her skin. She quickly tried changing the subject. “How'd the repair go?”

It was a poor attempt at diversion, and when he didn't answer right away, she cringed. She didn't need to look at him to know he was watching her with suspicious eyes. Damn, he caught it.

“Fine,” he said slowly, as if deciding whether or not to call her on the evasion. “You look like hell.”

“Gee, thanks.” Please, go away.

“Too much to drink?”

Maybe. “No.”

“What was it then?”

With her eyes still shut to keep the water out, she reached for a towel, but her fingers closed around empty air. Fighting back frustration, she swiped the water away from her eyes and opened them to find the towel no longer on the rack where it had been a moment before. She turned to Inuyasha, who'd casually leaned himself against the counter beside her, smirking as he flipped the cloth over his shoulder.

“Gimme that,” she said, grabbing for the towel, but he dodged his shoulder away, keeping it just out of her reach.

“Tell me what happened, first.”

“I told you, nothing happened!”

“I don't believe you,” he sing-songed, allowing her to back him into a corner as she continued to advance and grab.

“Knock it off, Inuyasha! I'm not in the mood to play right now.”

“Ask nicely,” he said, unable to retreat any further when his back hit a wall. He lifted the towel high above her head and held it there.

She jammed her heel onto the top of his foot. He winced but didn't lower his hand.

“That hurt,” he growled.

“That was the point.”

Before she had time to react, he snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her against him.

“If you're gonna get physical,” he said, dipping his head, “at least do it with your mouth.” He covered her lips with his in one swift motion.

Instantly overwhelmed, she could only stand there as he pressed their mouths together, his tongue wasting no time in emerging for a taste, asking to be allowed inside. Instinct shouted at her to open for him and let him take what he wanted, but instead her body went ramrod straight as desire and shame began struggling for dominance in her mind. All she wanted to do was melt against him and let him have his way, but the guilt wouldn't be pushed aside. You can't! it shouted. You can't give in to him until you know what happened!

Enjoy it, the other side coaxed. Who knows if you'll ever be able to do it again.

She stifled a frustrated moan as his tongue continued to search for a way in. What if this was the last time she would ever be able to kiss him? What if, once she did tell him, he wanted nothing else to do with her?

Her indecision seemed to be frustrating him. She hadn't steeled her lips against him, but she wouldn't open them either, and he didn't like it. The kiss became more insistent.

Too hard. It was just too hard to deny him. Three long days had passed since the last time she felt his mouth against hers, and no matter how busy she'd tried to keep herself in the meantime, the memory of their gentle kiss in the greenhouse and the promising words he'd spoken had haunted her mercilessly. She wanted more, and he appeared ready to give her just that once he returned. That was why she'd gone out the night before, to distract her mind, to still her nervous anticipation. But then he'd found her, alone on the terrace...

Her mouth began to open.

Wait. No. They hadn't kissed since the day he began working on the repair, but somewhere, deep in the shadows of her mind, it felt as if there had been another time, more recently. His lips, his hands, sweet words she couldn't remember. There was something else, some thought, some memory, lurking at the edge of darkness, just out of reach.

Red eyes.

Suddenly kicking into a fit of back-pedaling panic, she choked back a yelp and turned her head away. “No!”

He stilled against her. “What's wrong?” he asked.

Shit, she thought. What was that?

“Kagome?” he asked again, and his voice refocused her mind on the problem standing before her. She had to get him to go away.

Scrambling for an explanation, she said, “Morning breath.” It was a lame excuse, and he didn't buy it.

“I don't care,” he said, leaning down toward her again.

He was being persistent, and that, combined with her now frantic need to escape, renewed her temper. As soon as he was close enough, she bit his lower lip.

“Ow!” he cried, yanking his head back, almost banging it against the wall. “What the hell was that for?”

“There! I used my mouth this time,” she snapped. Shoving at him, she added, “Now can I get some time alone?”

Inuyasha gaped at her. “I've hardly seen you at all in three days.”

“That doesn't mean you can come in here and start smothering me as soon as you get back!” It was the wrong thing to say. She knew it the moment the words started tumbling out of her mouth. But she was so desperate that she was latching onto anything that might drive him away.

One of his eyebrows shot up and the mirth faded from his face as if she'd slapped it away with a hand. “Huh,” he grunted thoughtfully. There was anger in the sound. “Didn't realize that's what I'd been doing. Sorry about that.” He dropped the towel on her head and walked out the door.

She stood there for a moment, staring at the wall he'd backed himself against. She'd gone too far, carelessly trying to repel him with angry words. Apologize.

“Hey,” she called, poking her head around the corner just in time to see the door to his own bathroom sliding closed behind him.

Damn it. Kagome, you idiot. Now he was angry at her before she'd given him real reason to be.

She sighed and buried her face in the towel. The air had almost completely dried her skin by now, but she didn't care. She rubbed her face with the soft material, trying to take comfort in the feeling. It didn't work, and she lowered the cloth and turned back to her reflection. She still looked awful, but she couldn't imagine she'd be able to look at herself with any kind of approval for a while.

I'm sorry, Inuyasha, she thought to him. Just give me some time to straighten things out and I promise I'll make it up to you. As she pulled her hair down and started to work on untangling the mass of knots, she tried not to think about what might happen if she wasn't able to make good on that promise.

*****

He was back in his own bed by the time she reemerged from her bathroom and headed down the stairs toward the front door. Glaring at her retreating figure, he thought of all kinds of snide, antagonizing words to throw at her, but spoke none of them. It was hard. He wasn't used to keeping his mouth in check. But there was some satisfaction in knowing that he'd been able to control his temper.

At the sound of the door clicking shut, Inuyasha reached for the remote lying on his nightstand. With the press of a button, the shades slowly began rolling down over the windows, blocking out the morning sky. Sunshine didn't fit his mood at the moment. As the blue sky and clouds disappeared from sight, he wondered what had just happened.

He'd been gone for days. They'd hardly seen any of each other in that time. Even before that, they hadn't been spending any more time together than usual. In fact, they'd been together less in the last few days than they had since she'd started working for him. So why was she so desperate for privacy now? Was three days all she needed to change her mind about the shift in their relationship? Or was it simply a case of nerves?

He'd never seen her so prickly in the morning. Maybe she really was just hungover. She wasn't a drinker, except for special occasions, and even then she always cut herself off before getting to the point of being drunk. From what he'd seen, anyway. But even if it was just a bad hangover, that was no reason to be such a brat. He'd just been playing around, it wasn't cause to bite his head off.

Inuyasha sighed and stared up at the ceiling. She had reacted to him walking in on her as if he'd been a snake ready to strike, and when he asked about the night before, she'd tried to avoid the question. The moment he'd sensed her evasiveness he'd started pushing back without thinking. He hadn't meant to make her mad.

But what really bothered him was when she'd turned away from his kiss, and again after she'd bit him. There had been fear in her eyes, fear like he'd once seen in a child's face when that child had broken something that didn't belong to her. His insecurities suggested she'd done it out of disgust, but his rational mind pushed the thought aside and told him there was some other reason for the sudden rejection. He just had no idea what that reason might be.

He growled and slammed a fist down against the bed beside him. This wasn't at all how he'd wanted things to be when he came back. He'd been entertaining all kinds of naughty daydreams over the past few days of what they might have the chance to do once he returned. Now it appeared as if daydreams were all they would remain until he could figure out what was going on. He knew he'd find out eventually. It was damn near impossible to keep a secret in this city.

Sleep, he told himself. You're still exhausted. You can think about it when you wake up. He closed his eyes, but after a few minutes he gave up, knowing it was useless until his mind calmed a bit more. Turning onto his side, he faced the front of his apartment, his back to the shuttered windows. The front door wasn't visible from where he was lying, but he spent a good portion of the morning staring in its direction, wondering what had gone wrong.

Continued in Chapter 16 - Distortion in the Mix

A/N: I know what you're thinking. This looks awfully damn short for OVER A YEARS worth of work. The explanation for which is this: There I was, merrily typing my way through chapter 15, relieved almost to tears that it was nearly finished, when I remembered that it had been a while since my last page count, so I kicked it back to print layout and counted. This bitch was 25 pages long. Twenty. Five. Pages. And I wasn't even finished yet! Yeahno. Hell, it's my story and even I don't want to read something that long. So, even though I really didn't want to (I have very specific places I've planned to end each chapter), I made the difficult decision to split the thing in half and end it there, rather than keeping it in one piece and ending up with damn near 30 pages. Honestly, the thought of editing and polishing a chapter that long turns my stomach, not to mention it would have pushed out the release by at least another month. I didn't want that, and I didn't think any of you would, either.

And so, after a year of dicking around with my stupid brain, I finally nailed my ass to my computer seat and got back to work. I am TERRIBLY sorry it took so long! I've realized that, as I illustrated above, I make chapters way too long, and even though I know some of you like those monster updates, I don't write as fast as I used to, and that means long swaths of time between releases. I'd stated in a previous author's note that I was going to begin shortening chapters for the sake of getting them out faster, and we see where that got me: the two subsequent chapters were 17 and 18 pages long. So I'm going to make a point now of keeping things shorter, which will hopefully result in less time between releases.

I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter. My brain, while much improved, is still in a rather rusty state, so I apologize for anything that doesn't make sense and for any mistakes I missed. I'm sure there's a few.

And thank you again, SO MUCH, to those of you who reviewed the last chapter, and to everyone who has sent me reviews, messages, and emails since then, inquiring about AFR. Each and every one encourages me to keep going, so please don't think you're pestering me. I love to hear from you guys!

Liked the chapter? Peachy! Let me know. Hated it? Not so peachy, but let me know anyways.

And as requested, a couple more book recommendations:

- Karen Marie Moning's Fever series, beginning with Darkfever. A modern day paranormal romance based heavily on Irish lore, that focuses on the Fae side of otherworldly-type things (which is refreshing, cuz God knows there's enough vampire and werewolf garbage out there right now. Yes, I'm biased. I work in a book store that's full of the crap. /end rant). I've thoroughly enjoyed reading it so far, even though every book (4 released so far in a series of 5) ends right where you absolutely DON'T want it to. It's one of those series that raises more questions than it answers, but I'm sure the author will tie up all the loose ends in the last book. And Jericho makes me drool on the pages.

- Eyes Like Stars by Lisa Mantchev. An absolutely stunning debut novel. Her writing makes me squirm with envy. I'm not a huge Shakespeare/theater person, but this book nearly succeeded in turning me into one, and it may still, as I'm currently making my way through the second book in the trilogy, Perchance to Dream. I haven't even finished it yet and I'm already chomping at the bit for the third one to be announced. And the writer is, like myself, a huge Cirque fan, so you know she's got excellent taste in inspiration.

Influential music for this chapter

Allergo - Bear McCreary, Battlestar Galactica Season 2 OST

Gaeta's Lament (Instrumental) - Bear McCreary, Battlestar Galactica Season 4 OST

Hitori Heya no naka de (trans: Alone in a room) - Hasegawa Tomoki, NANA 707 soundtracks [Limited Edition]

Nephilim - Abingdon Boy's School, Nephilim single

Everloving - Moby, Play

 

(note: You'll probably be seeing a lot of BSG music from here on. Bear is utterly phenomenal composer!)