InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Coda ❯ Bitter ( Chapter 1 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: LuxKen27 
If it came down to a choice between his life and hers...there simply was no choice.
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Suspense / Psychological | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 07.28.2008 | Updated On: 07.31.2008 | Pages: 4 | Words: 2.5K | Visits: 1.1K | Status: Completed
If it came down to a choice between his life and hers...there simply was no choice.
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Suspense / Psychological | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 07.28.2008 | Updated On: 07.31.2008 | Pages: 4 | Words: 2.5K | Visits: 1.1K | Status: Completed
Want to see the ultimate author’s notes for this piece? Visit me at LJ! Explanations, clarifications, spoilers available!
Disclaimer: The Inuyasha concept, storyline, and characters are copyright Rumiko Takahashi and Viz Media
“Inside the Fire” © 2008 Disturbed
“The wish I made on the jewel…was the wish of the jewel itself.” – Naraku’s parting words, Chapter 552
Then the ground rose up to meet him, and all went black.
He cracked open his eyes, pushing hard against the heavy mass that had settled on his chest, rendering him immobile. He had this urge to struggle, and for a moment it was lost on him, why he had to fight. It would be so easy to stop…
…relax…
…breathe deeply….
…but something told him to continue.
Kagome.
His heart seized in his chest as the memory returned. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to forget the horror he’d glimpsed on her face before she disappeared. It was an expression he had hoped to never see cross her lovely features again, not after everything she’d been through this last year. He’d caused her such suffering and misery, and never again did he wish to see her unhappy.
Maniacal laughter rose in his ears. His eyes opened once more, surveying the darkness all around him. There was nothing, no point of reference, no feeling of solid mass below him, above him, around him at all. There was only pressure fixed on his chest, bearing down on him, making it hard to breathe.
And laughter. Endless, screaming, guilt-inducing laughter.
“Who are you?” he managed to choke out between deep gasps of air. “What have you done with Kagome?”
There was no response, save the laughter. Malicious, horrible laughter.
“You won’t defeat me, Naraku!” he grunted, clenching his hands into fists. He felt the hilt of Tessaiga, still warm in his grip. Slowly, valiantly, he lifted the sword; it was heavier than it had ever been, even after it was repaired using his own fang. He turned his head slightly to the right, opening his eyes as wide as possible.
He could not see the blade.
His stomach knotted. Am I blind? he wondered recklessly. Is that why I can’t see who’s laughing at me?
He twisted the hilt in his hand, feeling the pressure of the blade as it moved. A glint of light penetrated his vision, and he blinked.
Once.
Twice.
No, he wasn’t blind. Thank God, he thought, relief washing through him. He could see the head of the sword, where blade met hilt, the place joined by youki-fur. That means…black Tessaiga. I had to use meidou zangetshuha.
“Hell.”
The laughter had stopped; a deep, penetrating voice confirmed his murky thoughts.
“Yes, hanyou, you are in hell.”
The statement resonated in his ears as the pressure strengthened against his chest. It sharpened into a fine point, directed at his sternum. Breathing came easier now. He reached up, finding the movement of his limbs lighter, more natural. He grasped at the point of pressure, half-expecting to find a purifying arrow.
Like one that had sealed him all those years before.
He grasped air, his fist closing, claws meeting flesh.
“Where’s Kagome?” he demanded, his grip on Tessaiga tensing. “Tell me what you’ve done to her!”
“She is not here.”
He growled, a rumble deep in his chest, pierced by the pain of the pressure on his breast.
“She is dead.”
“NO!” he roared, his voice shooting through his throat, erupting from his mouth like lava flow. He heaved a deep breath, ragged to his ears, trying to keep his heart from joining his screams of sorrow.
“I don’t believe you!” he yelled, panic fraying his words. “She’s not dead, she can’t be dead!”
His heart was pounding so hard, so fast, he knew it would burst right out of his chest.
He roared again, gripping Tessaiga with both hands, swiping mercilessly at the air above him. The pressure on his chest dissipated and he sat up, momentarily light-headed as he gained his bearings. Within seconds he was on his feet, Tessaiga in front of him, gleaming as it turned from black to red.
Again, he cut the air in front of him. Over and over he sliced, determined to get out of this void, to get to her before it was too late.
It was all for naught.
No matter what he did…
…no matter how hard he fought…
…nothing happened.
He stopped, breathing heavily, his ears flat against his skull, his grip firm on his sword.
“Show yourself, dammit! Is this Naraku? Is this your final wish, you cold-hearted son of a bitch?”
The question echoed, fading into darkness.
The only sound was that of his breathing, his heart pounding, the blood rushing through his veins.
“You will not defeat me! I will never believe she’s dead, I will never give up hope of finding her!”
The laughter started again, punctuated by the deep, pitiless voice. “I am not Naraku. That foul half-breed served his purpose, and was rightfully disposed of.”
A vision seared his eyes: the pure Shikon no Tama shone brightly against the dark nothingness of the void. It was whole, perfect, glowing pale pink…then it changed. Something akin to oil was poured over the surface, devouring the pale light, suffocating the purity of the jewel. It became opaque, only the bare outline visible.
“I am the darkness of the jewel,” the voice announced. The outline began to pulse with life as the words resonated through the void.
“I don’t give a fuck,” he cried, slashing at the jewel with the ever-changing blade of his sword. “Give me Kagome!”
“She is dead.”
Anger, frustration, helplessness boiled just beneath his surface. Emotions thrummed through him, eating away at his sanity, at his control. “No,” he argued through clenched teeth.
“She is human. She cannot survive here.”
“NO!” he raged, lifting his arms to swing his sword, feeling himself being thrust forward toward the jewel.
It laughed at his struggle. “She is just another lost soul about to be mine again,” it taunted him. “Leave her. We will receive her. It is beyond your control, if you ever meet again.”
“I’ll never give up! As long as I draw breath, I will fight for her!”
It was his vow, it was his mantra.
He would survive this.
He would find her.
He would never let her go.
“You wish to save her soul?”
The question caught him off-guard. He couldn’t reply, simply dumbstruck at the about-face.
Another vision appeared before him. Surrounded in blue light, Kagome was quite still, as if suspended in animation. She did not move, did not breathe as she lay there. Her hands still gripped her longbow, her memento from Kikyo, her ultimate weapon.
She lay in repose, as if she was merely sleeping.
“You wish to save her soul?” the voice repeated.
“Kagome!” he cried, reaching out for her. His hand landed, gripping her wrist.
Panic and fear flooded through him.
She was cold.
She was so, so cold.
Her warmth, her vitality…it was gone.
She lay lifeless before him, her features drawn in innocence. She felt no pain, no fear, no horror.
She felt nothing.
He felt everything.
It was all too much to bear. Everything rose up inside him, overwhelming him. Emotions, feelings, thoughts, actions he had no words for, things he’d never felt before, things that had plagued him all his life. Everything converged in his head, bathing his vision in red, making him hot, cold, clammy, acrid all at once.
Ultimate failure.
He embraced her cold, dead body, dragging her against him, letting the sleeves of his haori engulf every visible part of her. He loved her so fiercely, and yet had failed her so completely. He couldn’t protect her, in life or in death. She had been stolen from him, cut down in her prime.
Sobs welled up within him. He cried silently, tears streaking down his face, his body trembling violently as the ache of loss tore through him. She was unmoving, unyielding in his arms.
What he wouldn’t give to breathe life back into her body…
What he wouldn’t sacrifice to have her whole again…
“You’re just another lost soul about to be mine again. You’ll never free her…you must surrender it all if you’d like to meet again.”
The haunting words of the voice penetrated his lamentations. Through a film of tears, he glanced up, struck with slight awe as the jewel pulsated in front of him.
“Give your soul to me, for eternity. Release your life and begin another time with her,” it commanded.
The words wrapped around him as he held her.
“End your grief with me. There’s no other way. Release your life and take your place inside the fire with her.”
“What are you saying?” he whispered, clutching her close.
“Give your soul to me. Take your place inside the fire.” The voice was pertinent, mesmerizing.
The words struck deep in his heart. “She will live again?” he asked in a hushed tone.
“Give your soul to me, for eternity. Release your life, and begin another time with her.”
Another time with her. Another chance to get it all right.
“You must surrender it all if you’d like to meet again.”
Another time, another place. Was he willing to risk it all?
“Release your life and take your place inside the fire with her.”
Suddenly, her body was engulfed in flames, even as she lay pressed to his chest. She coiled into a ball, releasing horrible screams of fear, of pain, of dying hysteria. She thrashed against him, her anguish and torment palpable.
He did not let her go. He held her even more tightly, wishing for her to stop, to be lifeless once more, free from this agony. Each shriek of terror tore through him, reminding him with ever-growing force that he was powerless to comfort her.
“Release your life. Take her place inside the fire, hanyou.”
It laughed.
“Save her, if that is your fervent wish.”
Wish…upon the Shikon no Tama…
He could wish to save her soul.
Watching her suffer like this made him feel like he was dying inside. How much more could he take?
“Give your soul to me. Release your life. End your grief with me.”
The words bore down on him, repeating in a seductive tone, moving in and out of his ears, swirling around him.
“Kagome,” he muttered, raising his hand to stroke her cheek softly. She was quiet again, her body exhausted from her screams, lying listlessly in his arms once more. “I’d do anything for you.”
“There’s no other way. Give your soul to me, for eternity.”
He pressed her close, squeezing her as hard as he could, trying to imbue her with his love, his devotion, his heart, his soul. Once upon a time, he’d wanted nothing more than a return of this embrace, a reciprocation of his feelings and actions.
Things were different now. If it came down to a choice between his life and hers…
…there simply was no choice.
“I’ll do it.”
The solemn vow was quiet, even to his own ears, barely audible below the chorus of commands that he’d just agreed to.
The world was silent for one eerie, solitary moment, and then…
…and then…
…it was the end.
He was expelled from the void, hurtling through space faster than he ever imagined possible. Dark became light, and he collided with another body.
Yet it was not enough to stop his momentum.
He cracked his eyes open, finding himself staring at the green portion of Kagome’s uniform top, his head lolling in the crook of her shoulder. They were moving so hard, so fast, that he almost couldn’t make out her voice.
Almost.
“Inuyasha!” she cried, her arms sweeping over him. He glanced down, watching with dumbstruck fascination, wondering why he didn’t feel her movements against him. He tried to respond, but his body betrayed him. His throat wouldn’t move, his hands wouldn’t move, his head wouldn’t move.
He could only stare.
Faintly, he became aware of the incredibly acute angle of his vision.
Dimly, he realized what was going on.
Inwardly, he screamed as they burst out of the meidou, her very warm, very much alive arms wrapped around his broken, lifeless body.
Disclaimer: The Inuyasha concept, storyline, and characters are copyright Rumiko Takahashi and Viz Media
“Inside the Fire” © 2008 Disturbed
“The wish I made on the jewel…was the wish of the jewel itself.” – Naraku’s parting words, Chapter 552
~
It was only flashes of memory; when he looked back on that moment, the moment his life forever changed, he could never completely remember what happened. There was a sparkle of purity as the jewel was pierced, as Naraku’s body was pulverized by the force of the arrow. A fleeting wisp of relief, a surge of horror as the meidou yawned open, pulling her beyond his reach. The look of abject fear in her eyes, of despair as she disappeared into the void.Then the ground rose up to meet him, and all went black.
~
Weight.He cracked open his eyes, pushing hard against the heavy mass that had settled on his chest, rendering him immobile. He had this urge to struggle, and for a moment it was lost on him, why he had to fight. It would be so easy to stop…
…relax…
…breathe deeply….
…but something told him to continue.
Kagome.
His heart seized in his chest as the memory returned. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to forget the horror he’d glimpsed on her face before she disappeared. It was an expression he had hoped to never see cross her lovely features again, not after everything she’d been through this last year. He’d caused her such suffering and misery, and never again did he wish to see her unhappy.
Maniacal laughter rose in his ears. His eyes opened once more, surveying the darkness all around him. There was nothing, no point of reference, no feeling of solid mass below him, above him, around him at all. There was only pressure fixed on his chest, bearing down on him, making it hard to breathe.
And laughter. Endless, screaming, guilt-inducing laughter.
“Who are you?” he managed to choke out between deep gasps of air. “What have you done with Kagome?”
There was no response, save the laughter. Malicious, horrible laughter.
“You won’t defeat me, Naraku!” he grunted, clenching his hands into fists. He felt the hilt of Tessaiga, still warm in his grip. Slowly, valiantly, he lifted the sword; it was heavier than it had ever been, even after it was repaired using his own fang. He turned his head slightly to the right, opening his eyes as wide as possible.
He could not see the blade.
His stomach knotted. Am I blind? he wondered recklessly. Is that why I can’t see who’s laughing at me?
He twisted the hilt in his hand, feeling the pressure of the blade as it moved. A glint of light penetrated his vision, and he blinked.
Once.
Twice.
No, he wasn’t blind. Thank God, he thought, relief washing through him. He could see the head of the sword, where blade met hilt, the place joined by youki-fur. That means…black Tessaiga. I had to use meidou zangetshuha.
“Hell.”
The laughter had stopped; a deep, penetrating voice confirmed his murky thoughts.
“Yes, hanyou, you are in hell.”
The statement resonated in his ears as the pressure strengthened against his chest. It sharpened into a fine point, directed at his sternum. Breathing came easier now. He reached up, finding the movement of his limbs lighter, more natural. He grasped at the point of pressure, half-expecting to find a purifying arrow.
Like one that had sealed him all those years before.
He grasped air, his fist closing, claws meeting flesh.
“Where’s Kagome?” he demanded, his grip on Tessaiga tensing. “Tell me what you’ve done to her!”
“She is not here.”
He growled, a rumble deep in his chest, pierced by the pain of the pressure on his breast.
“She is dead.”
“NO!” he roared, his voice shooting through his throat, erupting from his mouth like lava flow. He heaved a deep breath, ragged to his ears, trying to keep his heart from joining his screams of sorrow.
“I don’t believe you!” he yelled, panic fraying his words. “She’s not dead, she can’t be dead!”
His heart was pounding so hard, so fast, he knew it would burst right out of his chest.
He roared again, gripping Tessaiga with both hands, swiping mercilessly at the air above him. The pressure on his chest dissipated and he sat up, momentarily light-headed as he gained his bearings. Within seconds he was on his feet, Tessaiga in front of him, gleaming as it turned from black to red.
Again, he cut the air in front of him. Over and over he sliced, determined to get out of this void, to get to her before it was too late.
It was all for naught.
No matter what he did…
…no matter how hard he fought…
…nothing happened.
He stopped, breathing heavily, his ears flat against his skull, his grip firm on his sword.
“Show yourself, dammit! Is this Naraku? Is this your final wish, you cold-hearted son of a bitch?”
The question echoed, fading into darkness.
The only sound was that of his breathing, his heart pounding, the blood rushing through his veins.
“You will not defeat me! I will never believe she’s dead, I will never give up hope of finding her!”
The laughter started again, punctuated by the deep, pitiless voice. “I am not Naraku. That foul half-breed served his purpose, and was rightfully disposed of.”
A vision seared his eyes: the pure Shikon no Tama shone brightly against the dark nothingness of the void. It was whole, perfect, glowing pale pink…then it changed. Something akin to oil was poured over the surface, devouring the pale light, suffocating the purity of the jewel. It became opaque, only the bare outline visible.
“I am the darkness of the jewel,” the voice announced. The outline began to pulse with life as the words resonated through the void.
“I don’t give a fuck,” he cried, slashing at the jewel with the ever-changing blade of his sword. “Give me Kagome!”
“She is dead.”
Anger, frustration, helplessness boiled just beneath his surface. Emotions thrummed through him, eating away at his sanity, at his control. “No,” he argued through clenched teeth.
“She is human. She cannot survive here.”
“NO!” he raged, lifting his arms to swing his sword, feeling himself being thrust forward toward the jewel.
It laughed at his struggle. “She is just another lost soul about to be mine again,” it taunted him. “Leave her. We will receive her. It is beyond your control, if you ever meet again.”
“I’ll never give up! As long as I draw breath, I will fight for her!”
It was his vow, it was his mantra.
He would survive this.
He would find her.
He would never let her go.
“You wish to save her soul?”
The question caught him off-guard. He couldn’t reply, simply dumbstruck at the about-face.
Another vision appeared before him. Surrounded in blue light, Kagome was quite still, as if suspended in animation. She did not move, did not breathe as she lay there. Her hands still gripped her longbow, her memento from Kikyo, her ultimate weapon.
She lay in repose, as if she was merely sleeping.
“You wish to save her soul?” the voice repeated.
“Kagome!” he cried, reaching out for her. His hand landed, gripping her wrist.
Panic and fear flooded through him.
She was cold.
She was so, so cold.
Her warmth, her vitality…it was gone.
She lay lifeless before him, her features drawn in innocence. She felt no pain, no fear, no horror.
She felt nothing.
He felt everything.
It was all too much to bear. Everything rose up inside him, overwhelming him. Emotions, feelings, thoughts, actions he had no words for, things he’d never felt before, things that had plagued him all his life. Everything converged in his head, bathing his vision in red, making him hot, cold, clammy, acrid all at once.
Ultimate failure.
He embraced her cold, dead body, dragging her against him, letting the sleeves of his haori engulf every visible part of her. He loved her so fiercely, and yet had failed her so completely. He couldn’t protect her, in life or in death. She had been stolen from him, cut down in her prime.
Sobs welled up within him. He cried silently, tears streaking down his face, his body trembling violently as the ache of loss tore through him. She was unmoving, unyielding in his arms.
What he wouldn’t give to breathe life back into her body…
What he wouldn’t sacrifice to have her whole again…
“You’re just another lost soul about to be mine again. You’ll never free her…you must surrender it all if you’d like to meet again.”
The haunting words of the voice penetrated his lamentations. Through a film of tears, he glanced up, struck with slight awe as the jewel pulsated in front of him.
“Give your soul to me, for eternity. Release your life and begin another time with her,” it commanded.
The words wrapped around him as he held her.
“End your grief with me. There’s no other way. Release your life and take your place inside the fire with her.”
“What are you saying?” he whispered, clutching her close.
“Give your soul to me. Take your place inside the fire.” The voice was pertinent, mesmerizing.
The words struck deep in his heart. “She will live again?” he asked in a hushed tone.
“Give your soul to me, for eternity. Release your life, and begin another time with her.”
Another time with her. Another chance to get it all right.
“You must surrender it all if you’d like to meet again.”
Another time, another place. Was he willing to risk it all?
“Release your life and take your place inside the fire with her.”
Suddenly, her body was engulfed in flames, even as she lay pressed to his chest. She coiled into a ball, releasing horrible screams of fear, of pain, of dying hysteria. She thrashed against him, her anguish and torment palpable.
He did not let her go. He held her even more tightly, wishing for her to stop, to be lifeless once more, free from this agony. Each shriek of terror tore through him, reminding him with ever-growing force that he was powerless to comfort her.
“Release your life. Take her place inside the fire, hanyou.”
It laughed.
“Save her, if that is your fervent wish.”
Wish…upon the Shikon no Tama…
He could wish to save her soul.
Watching her suffer like this made him feel like he was dying inside. How much more could he take?
“Give your soul to me. Release your life. End your grief with me.”
The words bore down on him, repeating in a seductive tone, moving in and out of his ears, swirling around him.
“Kagome,” he muttered, raising his hand to stroke her cheek softly. She was quiet again, her body exhausted from her screams, lying listlessly in his arms once more. “I’d do anything for you.”
“There’s no other way. Give your soul to me, for eternity.”
He pressed her close, squeezing her as hard as he could, trying to imbue her with his love, his devotion, his heart, his soul. Once upon a time, he’d wanted nothing more than a return of this embrace, a reciprocation of his feelings and actions.
Things were different now. If it came down to a choice between his life and hers…
…there simply was no choice.
“I’ll do it.”
The solemn vow was quiet, even to his own ears, barely audible below the chorus of commands that he’d just agreed to.
The world was silent for one eerie, solitary moment, and then…
…and then…
…it was the end.
He was expelled from the void, hurtling through space faster than he ever imagined possible. Dark became light, and he collided with another body.
Yet it was not enough to stop his momentum.
He cracked his eyes open, finding himself staring at the green portion of Kagome’s uniform top, his head lolling in the crook of her shoulder. They were moving so hard, so fast, that he almost couldn’t make out her voice.
Almost.
“Inuyasha!” she cried, her arms sweeping over him. He glanced down, watching with dumbstruck fascination, wondering why he didn’t feel her movements against him. He tried to respond, but his body betrayed him. His throat wouldn’t move, his hands wouldn’t move, his head wouldn’t move.
He could only stare.
Faintly, he became aware of the incredibly acute angle of his vision.
Dimly, he realized what was going on.
Inwardly, he screamed as they burst out of the meidou, her very warm, very much alive arms wrapped around his broken, lifeless body.