InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Fleeting ❯ Distress ( Chapter 15 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: LuxKen27 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Drama / Angst | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 12.11.2012 | Pages: 3 | Words: 3.7K | Visits: 484 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Drama / Angst | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 12.11.2012 | Pages: 3 | Words: 3.7K | Visits: 484 | Status: Work In Progress
un_love_you prompt: #14 – “I’m awake and you’re breathing.”
Arms tightened around her waist as she stirred, and she became aware of the solid warmth at her back. She instinctively burrowed into it as the other quiet sounds of morning brushed against her senses: the steady ticking of a distant clock, the twirl of a motorized overhead fan, the gentle rush of wind through the open window…
My window’s open? she wondered, fighting the urge to open her eyes and check. But I don’t want to get up and close it…I’ve waited too long for this moment…
A low but insistent pounding sensation began behind her temples, robbing her of whatever extra sleep she might have contemplated. At the same time, she felt a hand drifting lightly over her abdomen, the touch almost ticklish against her skin, before settling in soft groove at the underside of her right breast. Warm lips nuzzled her neck, and she couldn’t restrain the sigh of pleasure that escaped.
Yes…
What had she done to make this happen? She wanted to remember for future reference! He’d been so resistant to her advances so far…the last thing she clearly remembered was meeting him at the door in sobs, scared out of her wits after being followed home – it had all become a blur after that…
No wonder I’m have anxiety dreams! she thought to herself. And what horrible ones at that – Sesshoumaru betraying me so callously, and out of the blue! Maybe I should stop eating ramen before bed…
“Good morning,” her companion murmured, his breath warm in her ear as his arms tightened around her.
“Mmm,” she breathed, running her hands over his arms, following them over the curve of her body, finally lacing her fingers through his. He chuckled, low in his threat, the soft sound reverberating through his body, now intimately nestled into hers.
She felt her token resistance crumbling as he nipped on her earlobe, and she shifted onto her back, her lips upturned to greet his morning kiss, visions of being curtained by long silver hair and looking up into the heated golden gaze of her boyfriend filling her mind.
She opened her eyes to greet her lover, and her reality shattered into a thousand tiny pieces as she found herself staring up into brown eyes instead of amber ones, framed by tousled waves of dark brown hair, not silver.
“Oh, my God!” she gasped, pushing Inuyasha away and sitting up, immediately regretting the sudden reaction as the pounding in her head exploded, pain arcing over her scalp. She gathered the sheets around herself, her face flaming as she searched her scattered memories for an explanation.
“Kagome, relax,” Inuyasha murmured, sitting up beside her and sliding his arms around her shoulders. He kissed her softly, and for a moment she melted into the sensation. As his embrace tightened, however, she pulled away, almost tumbling off the side of the bed in her haste.
“Wh-what am I doing here?” she asked, bracing her head in her hands, willing it to stop aching in lockstep with her the frantic beat of her heart.
Inuyasha frowned as he regarded her. “You don’t remember?”
And then it all came back, in a rush, the doubt and desperation and fight, pleading with Sesshoumaru to tell her it wasn’t true – and his adamant refusal to reassure her. The nightmare she wished she’d dreamed was all too real, the pain and hurt and rejection rolling over her in fresh waves as the memories assailed her. She’d been so upset that she’d just left him, standing in the middle of the room she’d forcibly broken into, fleeing into the night in search of comfort and commiseration.
She didn’t remember how she’d ended up at Inuyasha’s place; the entire flight was blind and lost to her now, buried under a barrage of tears and anger. He’d given her just what she’d sought, however, readily opening his arms to her when she needed it the most. How long had she sat there, burdening him with the range of her emotions, from screaming and shouting to mournful sobbing? And he’d taken it all, so calmly, offering her a comforting shoulder to cry on.
At some point, his flatmate had returned home, and they had decided to move their two-man pity party to a local bar. She remembered finally laughing then, as he’d attempted to distract her with karaoke, daring her to sing cheesy breakup songs. Liberated by the free-flowing alcohol, she finally got up and sang, pouring her heart out to the tune of “Song for the Dumped,” a rousing hit with all the lonely singles in the room. Inuyasha had rushed the stage then, twirling her around, his laughter ringing in her ears –
– and then it was dark, and she was desperate again, pulling at his clothes as he kissed her, the need to feel him inside her clawing at her gut, directing her actions. She was greedy – needy – urgent – insistent. She didn’t care that she was drunk, that she’d walked out on her boyfriend only hours before, or that she’d long ago promised herself she’d not do anything to destroy her friendship with Inuyasha. She needed to feel wanted and desired and loved; she needed this physical act of bonding with another human being, after being pushed away, shut out, and betrayed.
Her face flamed now as she turned away from him, with shame – with regret. Tears welled behind her eyes, only exacerbating the merciless pounding headache of her hangover. What have I done? she wondered wildly, covering her face with her hands.
“I’m sorry!” she burst out, shoulders shaking as she fought to contain her rising panic. Great, just great, she silently berated herself. First I screw things up with Sesshoumaru, and now this. Did I really need a lay this bad – bad enough to ruin a friendship?
“I’m not,” Inuyasha replied, once again wrapping his arms around her. He pried her hands away from her face, gently running the pad of one thumb under her eyes to catch her errant tears as he held her steady.
Kagome rolled her bottom lip between her teeth. He was gazing at her with utter adoration, his touch delicate and loving, as if they’d just spent their first night together as newlyweds instead of engaging in a drunken roll in the hay. Her stomach turned as she contemplated him and his actions. How can I tell him it’s a mistake? she asked herself. “I’m sorry to break your heart, Inuyasha, but it was more of an ‘I’m awake and you’re breathing’ thing for me”??
He shook his head, a slow smile curving his lips. “Don’t think like that,” he murmured.
She startled, wondering for a moment if he’d read her mind – or if she’d said those thoughts out loud. “Like what?” she whispered.
He tucked an errant lock of hair behind her ear. “You feel guilty about last night,” he mused, “like maybe you were using me to get back at him, or using me for your own ‘selfish’ needs.”
She averted her eyes, absently tracing the outlines of his abdomen with her gaze, and wondered faintly just how wild she’d gotten last night. It had been a long drought, after all…
He lifted her chin. “And I’m telling you, don’t. Don’t feel that way.”
“But – ” she began.
He swept down, capturing her lips in a sweet, gentle kiss. “But nothing,” he breathed. “This wasn’t a mistake, Kagome.”
“But our friendship – ” she tried again.
“ – can survive anything,” he interrupted, brushing his mouth against hers once more. “I want this, Kagome. I want you.”
Her heart seized at his words; the pounding in her head sent prickles of pain down her neck. He moved to kiss her again, but she pulled away, shaking her head slightly. “I don’t know.”
The hand at her cheek swept back into her hair. “Just think about it,” he murmured. “We’re good for each other, Kagome, and you know it.”
Suddenly, his embrace felt smothering. She pushed away, moving across the bed. “I should go,” she mumbled, looking around helplessly for her clothes, which apparently had been strewn around the room over the course of the prior evening.
He caught her hand before she could climb off completely. “Just promise me, you’ll give it some thought?” he asked.
She swallowed convulsively, nodding hesitantly, not trusting herself to speak. He darted forward, pressing another kiss to her cheek. “Go wash up, I’ll find your clothes,” he offered, allowing her to escape to the adjoining bathroom.
She was so quick in her flight that she didn’t see him slide off the mattress behind her, a satisfied smirk settling over his features as he sat down in front of his computer.
TO: The Heir [s.taisho AT taishoenterprises DOT com]
FROM: The Spare [i.malliard AT taishoenterprises DOT com]
DATE: 28 March 2009, 06:19
SUBJECT: (no subject)
Checkmate.
To the apartment she shared with Sesshoumaru.
Oh, God.
She could feel the stares of her fellow pedestrians as she dodged down the sidewalk; she self-consciously smoothed her miniskirt over her legs and wished she’d somehow had the forethought to grab a coat before storming out yesterday – spring mornings still held a bit of chill in the air. She kept her eyes focused straight ahead as she walked, but couldn’t stop herself from imagining the conversations of those around her.
“Mommy, why is that lady so dressed up this early in the day?”
“Because some people make bad decisions, honey.”
Bad decision, indeed! She didn’t know what to be more upset over – her fight with Sesshoumaru, one that had probably ended their relationship; or her conversation with Inuyasha about the future of their relationship. She didn’t quite know how to take Inuyasha’s insistence that she not be ashamed of their night together. No matter how she sliced it, she couldn’t help but feel horrible. She had used him, despite his comments otherwise, taken advantage of his interest in her to fulfill her lascivious needs. No one deserved to be treated that way – especially not someone who had become such a close confidante.
But he wanted her – and she wanted that, to be desired for who she was instead of what she was. He’d been nothing less than wonderful to her, by her side when she needed him most, cheering her on or shielding her from pain. He made her feel good and light on the inside. Most girls would’ve snapped up such a guy at the first opportunity, without looking back.
Her steps slowed as she reached her street. Holy shit, but she did not want to go back to that apartment and face Sesshoumaru. Anger curled through her at the very idea of seeing him again, so stoic and silent while she raged at him, begging him over and over to tell her it wasn’t true, that he wasn’t just with her because of the power she wielded within her family’s company.
But something else propelled her forward, kept her putting one foot in front of the other – and that was the look in his eyes when she’d left him, a moment of uncloaked anger and distress. It tore at her heart to know she’d been the one to put it there, despite her fury and pain. How long had she worked on him, to break through his icy barriers in order to see the man underneath? He guarded himself so closely that even such a fleeting moment of unbridled emotion piqued her curiosity.
Now that she the time to think about it – he had insisted that he wasn’t lying to her, that he’d wanted the job for reasons other than it merely being a position within her family’s company. He’d sounded so sincere, said it with such conviction and determination – God, she wanted to believe him.
And yet, at the same time – she’d seen this all before, the callous way men used and abused those around them in their quests for power. Sesshoumaru’s father was just like the rest of them, maybe even worse, considering his infamously naked ambition. Her own father had sometimes shared stories about him with her family when she was younger, recounting some of their more outrageous encounters. The apple never fell far from the tree, as they say, and if Sesshoumaru was destined to follow in his father’s footsteps, then she wanted nothing to do with him.
She would be no one’s pawn.
She halted as she came to her doorstep. What now? she asked herself.
Could their relationship be salvaged?
Did she even want it to be?
An overwhelming yes rose in her chest as she contemplated that last question. In spite of everything – the lying, the silence, the misdirection from all sides – some little piece of her simply refused to give up on him. It was the same little piece that had brought her back on New Year’s, the same little piece that made her feel loyal to and protective of him (even though he hardly needed either), the same little piece that had bombarded her with happy memories of waking up in his arms a scant few days before, and had fueled wishful thinking for so much more.
Truth be told, it was the reason why she felt so horrible about what she’d done to Inuyasha – because, deep down inside, she knew she was already too far gone to be saved; she was head over heels in love with Sesshoumaru, and probably had been from the first moment she’d moved into his apartment. Somewhere along the way, her idle lust had deepened into something more, and it was the depth of that love that had ravaged her with pain at the very idea of his betrayal.
She felt like she was drowning in confusion.
Give him a chance, that little voice told her now. Hear him out, and if it’s not to your satisfaction – then just leave, and don’t look back.
She nodded once, firmly, and entered the apartment.
She spotted him before she had fully prepared for it, thinking she’d have to meet him on his reclaimed turf. Instead, he sat casually on the sofa in the common room, in profile to the rising sun, a substantial stack of papers resting easily in his lap. She stopped short, involuntarily drawing a breath as her eyes swept over him, looking every inch the ice prince he’d always been accused of being. His beauty was almost ridiculous, really; even his silver hair glittered in the sunlight.
He turned his head when he heard her enter the room, pinning her with his golden gaze, his features set in his usual impassive expression. “Kagome,” he said, his tone even, neutral.
With a rush, it all returned, as if she hadn’t spent the night with another guy, or crying over this one. That same frustrated, needy ache returned with a vengeance, threatening to overwhelm her, turning her knees to jelly and constricting her breath in her chest. Logically, she knew – she shouldn’t feel this way; she might not remember all of it, but she damn well knew she’d spent the better part of the previous evening exorcising personal demons.
But it didn’t matter. None of it mattered as she stood before him now. All that mattered was the truth – and maybe she was ready to hear it, all of it.
Gathering every shred of nerve she possessed, she moved forward, coming to an abrupt halt at his side.
“What am I to you?” she inquired quietly, forcing herself to hold his gaze.
He inclined his head, looking up at her thoughtfully. “I believe you became my ex the moment you slept with my brother,” he replied.
His words sliced straight through her. “W-what are you talking about?” she murmured, her stomach tightening into a sickening knot.
“You were with Inuyasha last night, yes?”
She furrowed her brow. “Why do you think that?” she asked casually, worrying the hem of her skirt.
He handed her the paper from the top of the stack in his lap. “He told me,” he replied plainly, indicating the page she now held. A hint of wry touched his features. “I suppose he couldn’t resist gloating.”
Her hands became clammy as she glanced over the cryptic one-word email that Inuyasha had supposedly sent him that morning. “This doesn’t prove anything,” she contended, feeling puzzled as well as anxious.
A thicker stack of papers, this time encased in an olive-colored file folder, appeared in her line of vision. “Inuyasha Malliard is the bastard son of my father, the result of an illicit union with a Frenchwoman eighteen years ago,” Sesshoumaru informed her.
Kagome opened the folder, her heart beating rapidly as she glanced through the material – birth certificate, passport, letters and emails detailing Inuyasha’s entrance into the country, and old correspondence between his parents. “I don’t believe this,” she breathed, on the edge of tears for the second time that morning.
“There’s more,” Sesshoumaru murmured, drawing her attention once again. His mouth was set in a grim line as he eyed the information she held. “My father is positioning him to take over the company that was slated to be my inheritance – if not the entire enterprise – upon his retirement. He has taken many steps towards this goal, some of which I’m only now becoming privy to.” He handed her another set of papers. “Inuyasha has also put in for that position at your family’s company, probably in a bid to thwart me.”
Kagome’s mouth went dry as she glanced over the evidence – more emails, and a copy of Inuyasha’s partially filled-in application. “Why would you say that he’s only doing this to thwart you?” she choked out, too shocked to contemplate any of the rest of it.
“Because he’s applying everywhere that I am,” Sesshoumaru responded grimly. “It doesn’t matter that he’s too young, or too inexperienced, or lacks the education – he won’t seriously be considered for any of the other posts.” He raised his eyes to hers. “Except yours.”
Kagome felt her entire world crumbling around her. Her hands began to shake as Sesshoumaru added the last pieces to the stack she held before standing himself, crossing his arms over his chest. She stared at him, her breath heavy and raspy, a thin sheen of sweat beading on her forehead as she realized the full consequences of her actions.
Oh, God.
“Can we save this?” she suddenly burst out. “Any of this?”
He frowned as he regarded her. “Is there anything left to save?”
15. Distress
Kagome jolted awake, blinking rapidly and taking a deep breath. What? she thought drowsily, squeezing her eyes shut against the glare of the sun as it streamed, unfiltered, straight into her eyes. She rubbed her temple, relaxing again as she realized there was no immediate threat. Must’ve been a bad dream, she sighed, tucking her head closer to her chest.Arms tightened around her waist as she stirred, and she became aware of the solid warmth at her back. She instinctively burrowed into it as the other quiet sounds of morning brushed against her senses: the steady ticking of a distant clock, the twirl of a motorized overhead fan, the gentle rush of wind through the open window…
My window’s open? she wondered, fighting the urge to open her eyes and check. But I don’t want to get up and close it…I’ve waited too long for this moment…
A low but insistent pounding sensation began behind her temples, robbing her of whatever extra sleep she might have contemplated. At the same time, she felt a hand drifting lightly over her abdomen, the touch almost ticklish against her skin, before settling in soft groove at the underside of her right breast. Warm lips nuzzled her neck, and she couldn’t restrain the sigh of pleasure that escaped.
Yes…
What had she done to make this happen? She wanted to remember for future reference! He’d been so resistant to her advances so far…the last thing she clearly remembered was meeting him at the door in sobs, scared out of her wits after being followed home – it had all become a blur after that…
No wonder I’m have anxiety dreams! she thought to herself. And what horrible ones at that – Sesshoumaru betraying me so callously, and out of the blue! Maybe I should stop eating ramen before bed…
“Good morning,” her companion murmured, his breath warm in her ear as his arms tightened around her.
“Mmm,” she breathed, running her hands over his arms, following them over the curve of her body, finally lacing her fingers through his. He chuckled, low in his threat, the soft sound reverberating through his body, now intimately nestled into hers.
She felt her token resistance crumbling as he nipped on her earlobe, and she shifted onto her back, her lips upturned to greet his morning kiss, visions of being curtained by long silver hair and looking up into the heated golden gaze of her boyfriend filling her mind.
She opened her eyes to greet her lover, and her reality shattered into a thousand tiny pieces as she found herself staring up into brown eyes instead of amber ones, framed by tousled waves of dark brown hair, not silver.
“Oh, my God!” she gasped, pushing Inuyasha away and sitting up, immediately regretting the sudden reaction as the pounding in her head exploded, pain arcing over her scalp. She gathered the sheets around herself, her face flaming as she searched her scattered memories for an explanation.
“Kagome, relax,” Inuyasha murmured, sitting up beside her and sliding his arms around her shoulders. He kissed her softly, and for a moment she melted into the sensation. As his embrace tightened, however, she pulled away, almost tumbling off the side of the bed in her haste.
“Wh-what am I doing here?” she asked, bracing her head in her hands, willing it to stop aching in lockstep with her the frantic beat of her heart.
Inuyasha frowned as he regarded her. “You don’t remember?”
And then it all came back, in a rush, the doubt and desperation and fight, pleading with Sesshoumaru to tell her it wasn’t true – and his adamant refusal to reassure her. The nightmare she wished she’d dreamed was all too real, the pain and hurt and rejection rolling over her in fresh waves as the memories assailed her. She’d been so upset that she’d just left him, standing in the middle of the room she’d forcibly broken into, fleeing into the night in search of comfort and commiseration.
She didn’t remember how she’d ended up at Inuyasha’s place; the entire flight was blind and lost to her now, buried under a barrage of tears and anger. He’d given her just what she’d sought, however, readily opening his arms to her when she needed it the most. How long had she sat there, burdening him with the range of her emotions, from screaming and shouting to mournful sobbing? And he’d taken it all, so calmly, offering her a comforting shoulder to cry on.
At some point, his flatmate had returned home, and they had decided to move their two-man pity party to a local bar. She remembered finally laughing then, as he’d attempted to distract her with karaoke, daring her to sing cheesy breakup songs. Liberated by the free-flowing alcohol, she finally got up and sang, pouring her heart out to the tune of “Song for the Dumped,” a rousing hit with all the lonely singles in the room. Inuyasha had rushed the stage then, twirling her around, his laughter ringing in her ears –
– and then it was dark, and she was desperate again, pulling at his clothes as he kissed her, the need to feel him inside her clawing at her gut, directing her actions. She was greedy – needy – urgent – insistent. She didn’t care that she was drunk, that she’d walked out on her boyfriend only hours before, or that she’d long ago promised herself she’d not do anything to destroy her friendship with Inuyasha. She needed to feel wanted and desired and loved; she needed this physical act of bonding with another human being, after being pushed away, shut out, and betrayed.
Her face flamed now as she turned away from him, with shame – with regret. Tears welled behind her eyes, only exacerbating the merciless pounding headache of her hangover. What have I done? she wondered wildly, covering her face with her hands.
“I’m sorry!” she burst out, shoulders shaking as she fought to contain her rising panic. Great, just great, she silently berated herself. First I screw things up with Sesshoumaru, and now this. Did I really need a lay this bad – bad enough to ruin a friendship?
“I’m not,” Inuyasha replied, once again wrapping his arms around her. He pried her hands away from her face, gently running the pad of one thumb under her eyes to catch her errant tears as he held her steady.
Kagome rolled her bottom lip between her teeth. He was gazing at her with utter adoration, his touch delicate and loving, as if they’d just spent their first night together as newlyweds instead of engaging in a drunken roll in the hay. Her stomach turned as she contemplated him and his actions. How can I tell him it’s a mistake? she asked herself. “I’m sorry to break your heart, Inuyasha, but it was more of an ‘I’m awake and you’re breathing’ thing for me”??
He shook his head, a slow smile curving his lips. “Don’t think like that,” he murmured.
She startled, wondering for a moment if he’d read her mind – or if she’d said those thoughts out loud. “Like what?” she whispered.
He tucked an errant lock of hair behind her ear. “You feel guilty about last night,” he mused, “like maybe you were using me to get back at him, or using me for your own ‘selfish’ needs.”
She averted her eyes, absently tracing the outlines of his abdomen with her gaze, and wondered faintly just how wild she’d gotten last night. It had been a long drought, after all…
He lifted her chin. “And I’m telling you, don’t. Don’t feel that way.”
“But – ” she began.
He swept down, capturing her lips in a sweet, gentle kiss. “But nothing,” he breathed. “This wasn’t a mistake, Kagome.”
“But our friendship – ” she tried again.
“ – can survive anything,” he interrupted, brushing his mouth against hers once more. “I want this, Kagome. I want you.”
Her heart seized at his words; the pounding in her head sent prickles of pain down her neck. He moved to kiss her again, but she pulled away, shaking her head slightly. “I don’t know.”
The hand at her cheek swept back into her hair. “Just think about it,” he murmured. “We’re good for each other, Kagome, and you know it.”
Suddenly, his embrace felt smothering. She pushed away, moving across the bed. “I should go,” she mumbled, looking around helplessly for her clothes, which apparently had been strewn around the room over the course of the prior evening.
He caught her hand before she could climb off completely. “Just promise me, you’ll give it some thought?” he asked.
She swallowed convulsively, nodding hesitantly, not trusting herself to speak. He darted forward, pressing another kiss to her cheek. “Go wash up, I’ll find your clothes,” he offered, allowing her to escape to the adjoining bathroom.
She was so quick in her flight that she didn’t see him slide off the mattress behind her, a satisfied smirk settling over his features as he sat down in front of his computer.
TO: The Heir [s.taisho AT taishoenterprises DOT com]
FROM: The Spare [i.malliard AT taishoenterprises DOT com]
DATE: 28 March 2009, 06:19
SUBJECT: (no subject)
Checkmate.
~*~
Kagome’s mind reeled as she started the long journey home. She’d opted to walk the distance from Inuyasha’s apartment to hers, alone, even after he’d offered to see her safely to her door. She’d begged off; she needed time to process everything that had happened in the last day and a half, the whirlwind of events that had led up to this moment: this ultimate walk of shame, back to her home.To the apartment she shared with Sesshoumaru.
Oh, God.
She could feel the stares of her fellow pedestrians as she dodged down the sidewalk; she self-consciously smoothed her miniskirt over her legs and wished she’d somehow had the forethought to grab a coat before storming out yesterday – spring mornings still held a bit of chill in the air. She kept her eyes focused straight ahead as she walked, but couldn’t stop herself from imagining the conversations of those around her.
“Mommy, why is that lady so dressed up this early in the day?”
“Because some people make bad decisions, honey.”
Bad decision, indeed! She didn’t know what to be more upset over – her fight with Sesshoumaru, one that had probably ended their relationship; or her conversation with Inuyasha about the future of their relationship. She didn’t quite know how to take Inuyasha’s insistence that she not be ashamed of their night together. No matter how she sliced it, she couldn’t help but feel horrible. She had used him, despite his comments otherwise, taken advantage of his interest in her to fulfill her lascivious needs. No one deserved to be treated that way – especially not someone who had become such a close confidante.
But he wanted her – and she wanted that, to be desired for who she was instead of what she was. He’d been nothing less than wonderful to her, by her side when she needed him most, cheering her on or shielding her from pain. He made her feel good and light on the inside. Most girls would’ve snapped up such a guy at the first opportunity, without looking back.
Her steps slowed as she reached her street. Holy shit, but she did not want to go back to that apartment and face Sesshoumaru. Anger curled through her at the very idea of seeing him again, so stoic and silent while she raged at him, begging him over and over to tell her it wasn’t true, that he wasn’t just with her because of the power she wielded within her family’s company.
But something else propelled her forward, kept her putting one foot in front of the other – and that was the look in his eyes when she’d left him, a moment of uncloaked anger and distress. It tore at her heart to know she’d been the one to put it there, despite her fury and pain. How long had she worked on him, to break through his icy barriers in order to see the man underneath? He guarded himself so closely that even such a fleeting moment of unbridled emotion piqued her curiosity.
Now that she the time to think about it – he had insisted that he wasn’t lying to her, that he’d wanted the job for reasons other than it merely being a position within her family’s company. He’d sounded so sincere, said it with such conviction and determination – God, she wanted to believe him.
And yet, at the same time – she’d seen this all before, the callous way men used and abused those around them in their quests for power. Sesshoumaru’s father was just like the rest of them, maybe even worse, considering his infamously naked ambition. Her own father had sometimes shared stories about him with her family when she was younger, recounting some of their more outrageous encounters. The apple never fell far from the tree, as they say, and if Sesshoumaru was destined to follow in his father’s footsteps, then she wanted nothing to do with him.
She would be no one’s pawn.
She halted as she came to her doorstep. What now? she asked herself.
Could their relationship be salvaged?
Did she even want it to be?
An overwhelming yes rose in her chest as she contemplated that last question. In spite of everything – the lying, the silence, the misdirection from all sides – some little piece of her simply refused to give up on him. It was the same little piece that had brought her back on New Year’s, the same little piece that made her feel loyal to and protective of him (even though he hardly needed either), the same little piece that had bombarded her with happy memories of waking up in his arms a scant few days before, and had fueled wishful thinking for so much more.
Truth be told, it was the reason why she felt so horrible about what she’d done to Inuyasha – because, deep down inside, she knew she was already too far gone to be saved; she was head over heels in love with Sesshoumaru, and probably had been from the first moment she’d moved into his apartment. Somewhere along the way, her idle lust had deepened into something more, and it was the depth of that love that had ravaged her with pain at the very idea of his betrayal.
She felt like she was drowning in confusion.
Give him a chance, that little voice told her now. Hear him out, and if it’s not to your satisfaction – then just leave, and don’t look back.
She nodded once, firmly, and entered the apartment.
She spotted him before she had fully prepared for it, thinking she’d have to meet him on his reclaimed turf. Instead, he sat casually on the sofa in the common room, in profile to the rising sun, a substantial stack of papers resting easily in his lap. She stopped short, involuntarily drawing a breath as her eyes swept over him, looking every inch the ice prince he’d always been accused of being. His beauty was almost ridiculous, really; even his silver hair glittered in the sunlight.
He turned his head when he heard her enter the room, pinning her with his golden gaze, his features set in his usual impassive expression. “Kagome,” he said, his tone even, neutral.
With a rush, it all returned, as if she hadn’t spent the night with another guy, or crying over this one. That same frustrated, needy ache returned with a vengeance, threatening to overwhelm her, turning her knees to jelly and constricting her breath in her chest. Logically, she knew – she shouldn’t feel this way; she might not remember all of it, but she damn well knew she’d spent the better part of the previous evening exorcising personal demons.
But it didn’t matter. None of it mattered as she stood before him now. All that mattered was the truth – and maybe she was ready to hear it, all of it.
Gathering every shred of nerve she possessed, she moved forward, coming to an abrupt halt at his side.
“What am I to you?” she inquired quietly, forcing herself to hold his gaze.
He inclined his head, looking up at her thoughtfully. “I believe you became my ex the moment you slept with my brother,” he replied.
His words sliced straight through her. “W-what are you talking about?” she murmured, her stomach tightening into a sickening knot.
“You were with Inuyasha last night, yes?”
She furrowed her brow. “Why do you think that?” she asked casually, worrying the hem of her skirt.
He handed her the paper from the top of the stack in his lap. “He told me,” he replied plainly, indicating the page she now held. A hint of wry touched his features. “I suppose he couldn’t resist gloating.”
Her hands became clammy as she glanced over the cryptic one-word email that Inuyasha had supposedly sent him that morning. “This doesn’t prove anything,” she contended, feeling puzzled as well as anxious.
A thicker stack of papers, this time encased in an olive-colored file folder, appeared in her line of vision. “Inuyasha Malliard is the bastard son of my father, the result of an illicit union with a Frenchwoman eighteen years ago,” Sesshoumaru informed her.
Kagome opened the folder, her heart beating rapidly as she glanced through the material – birth certificate, passport, letters and emails detailing Inuyasha’s entrance into the country, and old correspondence between his parents. “I don’t believe this,” she breathed, on the edge of tears for the second time that morning.
“There’s more,” Sesshoumaru murmured, drawing her attention once again. His mouth was set in a grim line as he eyed the information she held. “My father is positioning him to take over the company that was slated to be my inheritance – if not the entire enterprise – upon his retirement. He has taken many steps towards this goal, some of which I’m only now becoming privy to.” He handed her another set of papers. “Inuyasha has also put in for that position at your family’s company, probably in a bid to thwart me.”
Kagome’s mouth went dry as she glanced over the evidence – more emails, and a copy of Inuyasha’s partially filled-in application. “Why would you say that he’s only doing this to thwart you?” she choked out, too shocked to contemplate any of the rest of it.
“Because he’s applying everywhere that I am,” Sesshoumaru responded grimly. “It doesn’t matter that he’s too young, or too inexperienced, or lacks the education – he won’t seriously be considered for any of the other posts.” He raised his eyes to hers. “Except yours.”
Kagome felt her entire world crumbling around her. Her hands began to shake as Sesshoumaru added the last pieces to the stack she held before standing himself, crossing his arms over his chest. She stared at him, her breath heavy and raspy, a thin sheen of sweat beading on her forehead as she realized the full consequences of her actions.
Oh, God.
“Can we save this?” she suddenly burst out. “Any of this?”
He frowned as he regarded her. “Is there anything left to save?”