InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ ForgetMeNot ❯ My First Love ( Chapter 25 )

Forget-Me-Not

By: Youkai Yume

Yume: Dude, I've been hit with sudden artistic inspiration lately, and can't keep my pencil off of the drawing paper!

CF: Yup. . .even CF's impressed. {goes through Yume's sketch book} We've got tons of Sess/Kag pics, including one inspired from "Whispered Dreams," a ton of pages from Yume's work in progress Manga, and look! {googly eyes} One of CF! {smiles smugly} In falcon form!

{goes dancing around in her falcon form ::full moon:: can't live with her}

Yume: Yes, I was THAT bored! Stop waving your wings like that! Can't wait till this full moon is over. . .

CF: {offended} Hey!

Yume: There's only one tiny little problem. . .I DON'T HAVE A FRIGGIN' SCANNER! {pants}

CF: Uh. . .please excuse CF while CF tries to calm Yume down. . .in the meanwhile, enjoy the next chappie of ForgetMeNot! Kap-king! ^_^

Disclaimer: If I don't even own a SCANNER---then I definitely don't own Inuyasha. {I need therapy, money will do too. ^^}

Chapter 25: My First Love

Sleep was elusive that night for both the demon lord and the miko. Their thoughts would always wander to the other, and when sleep finally DID overcome them, they were only met with dreams haunted by the object of their obsessions. It was hopeless.

Kagome sat up in her futon, sapphire eyes half closed as she sighed out in frustration. It was no use. . .no matter how much she wanted to escape him she couldn't. He had gotten himself under her skin, and now all she could think about was him.

The miko remembered when she had nearly kissed him on the balcony. Kagome couldn't understand it. . . but at that moment, when it was just her and Sesshomaru under the moonlight, something inside of her got so. . .it was difficult to describe. It was so new, but guiltily, Kagome admitted that she liked the feeling.

It happened so quickly, golden eyes to sapphire, trance-like and tender in each other's gaze, she wanted so badly to see how his lips felt against her own. Before she knew it she was standing on her tiptoes and breathing on his skin. But before she could satisfy her curiosity, a voice had nagged in the back of her head, saying `Too fast,' and her lips found his cheek instead.

Fingers tightened around her covers. `Was it wrong to regret it. . .Just a little?'

Her eyes found themselves staring outside to the midnight scenery, the moon hanging in the still sky. A smile appeared on her face as she continued to gaze at it. The moon. . .it was silver and beautiful as it cast of it's haunting glow into the darkness. It seemed so far away, so mysterious in its' beauty. . .and yet so far out of reach. . .untouchable and almost forbidden. `Just like Sesshomaru,' She thought with a deep blush.

How easily her cheeks would turn their rosy color at the thought of him. How easily her stomach fluttered like butterflies at the sight of him. How her skin would feel like they were set on fire and her thoughts would scatter at his touch. Kagome's cheeks turned an even darker shade of red, `Bad, Kagome! Bad!'

She fell back against the futon, her orbs locked onto the ceiling. The voice had told her `Too fast,' but now that she thought about it, was it really? After all that had happened between them. . .since she had first met Sesshomaru, taiyoukai of the Western lands---the cold, unfeeling, merciless demon lord to the now sweet, kind, and tender man. . .so much had changed. `For the better?' But a part of her still felt loyal to Inuyasha. Even if he didn't love her, she couldn't forget that she loved HIM.

But every time she looked at Sesshomaru. . .it was so easy to forget. Turning over to her side, Kagome slid her eyes shut again, this time forcing herself to sleep. Hoping that when morning comes, her soul would be soothed from her troubles.

~ ^_^ ~

The morning was strangely peaceful the following day. There was the usual chatter between the children and Kagome occasionally, but between herself and the demon lord, not much was exchanged. Especially not the events of the other night, but they were still casually friendly with the other.

The demon lord still felt slightly ashamed for almost taking advantage of her during the training session, and silently vowed himself and to Kaogme, not to make any such advances on her without her consent. He would back off. . .

Sesshomaru was glad that at least she would look at him instead of avoiding his gaze like dinner yesterday. And perhaps it was his imagination, but she flashed him more and more smiles lately, even if they were still a bit saddened, he could tell they were less based on her pain, and more on her uncertainty. He was sure he had to do with that uncertainty, but he also felt warmth and contentment from her smiles as well, and for now, that would satisfy the demon lord.

Needless to say, Sesshomaru thought Kagome was in far better condition than when he first brought her here. She didn't flinch upon hearing his brother's name, the scent of tears no longer tainted her scent as much, and she looked genuinely at peace when she was with the children, or even just with him. Yes, the taiyoukai felt satisfaction in that fact the most.

"Sesshomaru," His thoughts were interrupted at the sound of her angelic voice. He looked at her, nodding to show his attention. He watched as she shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. "I, I still can't thank you enough for all that you've done for us."

Kagome's hand went to ruffle Shippo's hair, who giggled while still having piece of shrimp stuck in his mouth. His impassive face continued to stare at her.

"And I know we've been a bit of trouble. .."

"I assure you," He interrupted almost immediately, "I did not find you to be troublesome at all, in fact. . ."He paused, mulling over his next words, "I enjoyed having you here. It is the least I can do after you have shown me hospitality in your world, Kagome." She nodded, smiling at the memory.

"Arigato, but I think. . ." Her eyes lifted to meet his, "I think I'm ready now." He stared at her in confusion.

"Ready for what?" Sesshomaru asked stoically. She bit her bottom lip, not sure of herself if she was truly ready for whatever it was that she was supposed to be ready for. Finally, she let out a sigh and nodded at him.

"I'm ready to go back," Sesshomaru looked at her with shock, though his mask still stayed in place. He wasn't the only one, Shippo was in shock as well.

"Really momma? Are we really gonna go back with the others?" He chirped. Kagome nodded at him, but her attention was quickly averted to Sesshomaru when she felt his hand upon her shoulder. She was mildly surprised to see that his golden orbs flickered with concern.

"Kagome," He said her name firmly, "Are you sure?" It had been three days since he had taken her away from the object of her pain, and to him, it seemed rather soon to have already recovered. Still, she looked at him with honest eyes and placed a gentle hand over his clawed ones on her shoulder. She took in a deep breath, nodding in resolution.

"Yes, I am sure." Kagome answered, giving him a reassuring smile. A growing warmth grew within her at the touch of his hand, and she smiled at her sudden realization.

The demon lord withdrew from her, never breaking away from her gaze. He inwardly sighed. He was glad for her. . .glad that she was no longer hurting and ready to face her fears. But. . .a part of him sort of wished he could have him a bit longer to himself. That little selfish pup that he knew to be inside himself. However, he knew Kagome was like a bird---meant to fly free, and he could not keep his sweet nightingale to himself forever.

Her eyes showed such resolve, he knew she had decided, and would not back down. Still slightly baffled at how much she matured in such a short time, he only sighed and complied.

"Very well then," He said to her stiffly, "I will take you to your friends tomorrow." He turned back his attention to his half-eaten breakfast, and avoided looking at Kagome. However, that didn't last long, because moments later, he felt a warm hand covered over his own.

He looked up to see kind eyes staring back at him.

"Thank you, Sessho-kun."

~ ^_^ ~

He watched from afar as she played with the children, inwardly smiling when they tackled her to the ground and tickled her mercilessly. Sesshomaru debated for a while whether to save her from them or not, and decided to let the children have their fun with her a little longer. Besides, he quite enjoyed the sound of her laughter ringing in the sakura blossom wind.

The demon lord furrowed his eyebrows together in thought. Like the time in Kagome's era, he found himself dreading tomorrow, when he'd have to return her to Inuyasha. He wondered with an aching heart, if the reason why she wanted to return so soon was because she missed seeing HIM. Even more so, he wondered if it was because his little display of affection the other day was what pushed her away.

But. . .he wasn't sure, but something in the way she looked at him, touched his hand, and kissed him tenderly on the cheek, told him that he was going in the wrong direction. Sesshomaru's gaze returned to her form just yards ahead, plopping down into the shade and laughter dying down. She turned to his direction and he heard her call out his name in light mirth.

His uncertainty would not leave him, and now he had to know for himself what it was that TRULY made her decide with such resolve and confidence. Sesshomaru approached the maiden sitting patiently under the swaying sakura tree.

She looked up with bright blue orbs at his towering silver form and patted at the spot beside her. Kagome watched as he gracefully sat down next to her, the both of the staying in complete silence as they stared off in the direction of the playful kitusne and little girl---torturing a screaming Jaken.

Sesshomaru, finally being able to sort out his thoughts out into words, was about to finally speak when Kagome beat him to it.

"I'm over Inuyasha for real, if that's what you're thinking. . ." She started, and Sesshomaru was surprised at her start of conversation. An amusing thought came into his head if she had an ability to read minds as a part of her miko powers.

"Are you?" He ended up asking, earning a look that said, `What made you think otherwise?' But her expression softened to one of understanding.

"Yes, and I'm not sure how or why I did so quickly. . ." Kagome outstretched her hand, catching a fluttering sakura blossom as it fell from its' perch on the branch. "But I think being here has a lot to do with it. . ." Sesshomaru's eyes focused on her hand that fingered absently at the pink petal.

He remained silent, waiting for her to continue. He anticipated the answer, but at the same time dreaded it. It was so complicated.

"You know, I came here hoping to forget all about that baka. . ." Kagome said with a bit of fondness at the word `baka,' "That was fruitless." Her fingers dropped the petal, and she stretched out her hand once more for more petals to fall into her waiting palm. "But it DID give me time to think about my feelings for him."

"And, what ARE your feelings for him?" He questioned cautiously. She almost chuckled at the words.

"Oh! Where do I start?" But the feeling of sadness overcame her once more, "I loved him. . .simple as that," She admitted honestly, and Sesshomaru felt a pang of hurt and jealousy consume him. He felt like blocking her out after that, but something forced him to remain as he was, listening patiently. "Well, at least it SHOULD be that simple. . ."

Kagome's voice became laced in sadness, "I don't even know when I had begun to fall for him, but I never expected it. . .Inuyasha was the type of guy farthest from my dream prince," She said with slight amusement. Sesshomaru nodded, understanding where she was coming from. Afterall, he himself had never expected to fall for a human, and Kagome nonetheless, but it was ironic how these things worked out. He never expected to fall for anyone at all.

"But that doesn't really matter, all that did was I loved him. . .but Inuyasha, I knew I meant something to him too. But I also knew that he could never look at me without seeing HER." She looked away from Sesshomaru for a minute, "It hurt at first. . .more than you'll ever know, and I should be mad at him. . ."

"But you're not," Sesshomaru finished for her. She nodded in agreement.

"No, I'm not," Kagome picked at the sakura blossoms in her hands, "It took me so long. . .but I finally realize, that I could never blame him for loving Kikyo any more than I can blame myself for loving Inuyasha. She was his first love, he could never forget about her. And it was not my place to ask for his love in return, for you see, she was there first. Who am I to get in between them?"

Sesshomaru's cold exterior slipped a bit, and his anger slowly melted away only to be replaced with a growing need to comfort her, to tell her that she more than deserved love. But he remained silent.

"I'm not mad at Kikyo either, she only wanted to be with him. . .even in death. All I ever wanted was for those that I loved to be happy, and being here made me see. . .that because I loved Inuyasha, I will let him go, even if it meant a lifetime of unhappiness for me. I'll be okay," Kagome finally released all of the petals into her lap, and locked gazes with Sesshomaru's golden depths, "Because I have you. . .and so many others to help me move on."

Sesshomaru sat, shocked as she leaned against him, her head resting on his shoulder. Slowly, and hesitantly, he wrapped his arm behind her back, pulling her closer. She was so strong. . .for a human girl, and he so admired her for it. But her answer left him with another question.

"Will you ever forget about Inuyasha?" He asked impassively. A sigh reached his ears, and he gazed down at her face, a serene expression on it.

"No," She answered.

"Why not?" Tracing small circles on the grass, Kagome shrugged and sorted out her thoughts into words.

"Because he was my first love. . ." was her simple answer, "and you can never really forget your first love, even if you've moved on. . ." Sesshomaru nodded after a while. She was right. . .deep in his heart he knew she was, for it spoke the same about himself as well. And after hearing her confront her feelings like she had, he had to conclude that he was not angry at her for loving his half-brother either.

It was then that both of them noticed the silence of the air, and the darkness of the scenery. Sesshomaru looked up from his stare at the miko's face to see that the night was quickly coming upon them. His ears caught the sound of Kagome's soft giggles as she pointed in the direction of the children.

There, in the middle of the field they lay, sleeping soundly with a pretty much unconscious Jaken beside them.

"Let's get them inside," She suggested, and he nodded, slowly getting to his feet and offering her a hand to get up. She gladly took it, and was almost disappointed when he had let go to get the children.

~ ^_^ ~

"Man, those kids can sleep through anything!" Kagome said in a light tone as she walked down the halls with Sesshomaru. He had to agree with her on that. Shortly after they carried the children back inside and placed them on the futons, Jaken had come bursting through the door, screaming about abandonment and torture. Sesshomaru did well to silence the shrieking toad before the children awoke, but was surprised when they didn't even stir at the sudden disturbance.

Now, he was walking down the hallway with Kagome, enjoying her presence for the remainder of the day before he would have to take her back to Inuyasha tomorrow. When they had finally reached her shoji door, Kagome went inside and immediately started packing.

Sesshomaru watched her with interest as she laid out a now clean uniform on top of her backpack as she finished.

"Well, all set for tomorrow," She said with a sigh and seated herself onto the futon. Kagome looked up to see him staring with intense, molten gazes at them. Blushing, she found a new interest in the stitch work of her blanket.

There was that feeling again, and it was more intense than she had ever remembered. Kagome felt more at ease with him than before after telling him her feelings on Inuyasha in the garden. It was strange how much she was able to share with him, and she wondered to herself if Sesshomaru felt any different after their conversation as well. He was still as silent as ever, but she could sort of tell. . .from the way he looked at her, and even now, that he understood.

"Till tomorrow then," Sesshomaru said, nodding at her, and turning to leave. It was almost with a heavy heart that he left her, knowing that tonight, he'd once more return to the confinements of his chambers longing that Kagome was there with him.

"Wait. . ." Kagome cried out, and he stopped halfway through the door, glancing back at the miko he secretly loved. She blushed. `What am I doing?' She thought, why did she not want him to leave just yet? But deep within, she knew the answer. For some reason. . .tonight she wanted just a little more time with the demon lord. "Can you just. . .stay a little while longer?"

Sesshomaru looked at her confusedly, golden eyes widening when she edged a bit closer to the edge of the bed and leaving a large space. Her hand was gently placed on it, and she gave him a pleading look. Did she. . .?

"Kagome, I don't think that we---"

"No," She started gently, "It's just. . .I don't want to be alone tonight," Looking up at him, sapphire eyes shining with trust, she fumbled with the blanket clumsily. "What I mean is. . .can you just. . ." She blushed at the next words, ". . .Sessho, can you just hold me?"

Silence engulfed the room, and the demon lord remained glued to his spot by the doorway for several moments before he came out of his stupor. Stepping inside, he closed the shoji door quietly behind him, and smiled softly at her.

Kagome felt relief wash over her as he kneeled down beside her, and promptly sat next to her on the futon. Without thinking, she immediately leaned into his firm chest, cuddling into his tail and sighing in contentment. He seemed rather shocked that she was being so affectionate, but soon eased, giving into the warmth that enveloped him at having her in his arms and wrapping her in an embrace.

She smiled, her sapphire irises flickering in revelation. This feeling of completeness whenever she was with him. . .the feeling of want and need that rose within her chest at the sight of him. . .the feeling that she knew only Sesshomaru could give her---the feeling of bliss when he simply held her. Like the fool she was, the fool who had long suffered from her heartaches and never learned from her pain. . .

`I love Sesshomaru,' Kagome held onto him tighter, basking in the feeling of having his arms and tail wrapped loosely around her petite frame in a protective manner. `It wasn't too fast, I had started falling for him since the day I gave him that forget-me-not flower,' Inhaling his fresh scent of the forest and brisk autumn air, she sighed in contentment.

It had taken Inuyasha's betrayal to make her see. . .but it was also Inuyasha's betrayal that held her back. `What if he doesn't feel the same way? What if I end up crying again? I have no one else to run to. . .' Her fingers gripped on his tail almost painfully, and Sesshomaru had to loosen it himself.

Looking worriedly down at her, he lifted her gaze to his, only to see her sapphire orbs plagued with worry, confusion, and a soft, tender emotion that he saw more and more of lately.

"Kagome, daijabou?" He asked her softly. Kagome's eyes lowered to his hands, and she delved deeper into her thoughts. `But what about all that he has done for you?' A voice reminded, `He would not have if he didn't care. . .and that time in the dojo. . .my house. . .and even when I got hurt from Naraku and he treated me. . .' Could just be lust. . .a nagging thought resounded. Her hopes faltered. `Yes, it could be just lust. . .'

But when she gazed at him once more, his golden eyes betrayed no emotions that flashed across them, and her conflicting thoughts vanished. Leaning back into his warmth, she shook her head. `Doesn't matter, I'm content with him just holding me like this. . .'

"Nothing's wrong. . ." She whispered sleepily, snuggling closer into his fur and smiled.

He saw it. . .she smiled, for the first time truly smiled. . .his clawed hand came up to brush her ebony bangs, and he smiled himself. Something in her answer told him that her feelings for him changed somewhat. . .it held the same tenderness and affection that he spoke to her with at times.

Sesshomaru felt it again, the familiar urge---the need to confess to her his feelings. . .but he knew he couldn't do it. Not after what she had said in the garden. It wasn't because he was worried about her still being attached to Inuyasha, because she said so herself, she would move on. . .

No, the reason was because Kagome knew how it felt when the person you love didn't love you back. . .Sesshomaru's heart clenched painfully. If he told her, she would worry about hurting him. . .so. . .

`So I won't tell her. . .' He thought sadly, holding the girl closer. `At least not yet. . .' He placed a soft kiss on her forehead, and letting sleep overcome himself his mind grasped onto one last thought.

"You can never really forget your first love," Her voice echoed in his head, and he smiled. `I won't forget mine. . .my Kagome. . .'

~End Chapter ^_^

Yume: Okay, for all of those people who were hoping for a lemon. . .Sorry to disappoint you.

CF: {laughs weakly} We had you going. . .what with Sesshy climbing into bed with her and all. . .

Yume: NOTHING HAPPENED! The lemon will come, that I promise, but I still think it's too soon for one. Especially not after Kagome just realized her feelings for our demon lord.

CF: Yume, CF thinks readers are getting pretty pissed. . .

Yume: (ulp) You're right! Gotta run!

CF: {all alone} Uh. . .please review, and we know it's hard, but try not to flame us! ^_^;

Review Responses:

~Fanfiction.net

unhappy elf child; JadeBlueAfterGlow1; Rhexi; Orchidacae; ptbear; Black Blade; LilAnimatedGrlN'Pink; iNUYASHASDEMONGRL1; Akina Tsukana; White-Crystal; angelkitty77; dreamcathcher5; Jyderman; PeachesDani; aqua gurl; Shallneverknow; Wake-Robin; courtney; Katrina14love; Yuuka Yagami; spirit element; bloodbunny; Sanosuke Hidane; fire goddess5; Lady Kaela; Ana; duchesscarml; Kagome loves Inuyasha; Cutiepie99; The Fallen Angel of Death; Teru04; ForgetMeNot Fan; Zaki-chan; tessa3; HellzAznGrl; grey tears; trihn; Silver-Blue-Eyes; anonymous; Kitsune-minkchan; XxMarkzxX; Seungmina1991; MidnightDragonShadow; spirit detective Mae; I stalk sessy on weekends; Tsuki Yume; KougasMyMan; Daisyladyofthewestgate; Shadow Guardian24; MoonlightPrincess; Lady Shippo; wolf; Kore Yan; Noir12; flare2; Lady Icykimi; Ryoko3600; Sesshomaru luv you; blzing kodachi; Nymph Demon; Stardreamer090; Thesta; Rin6; Inulover626; Ali B; Rabid-Inu-Girl; amyfushigiyugi; Blue Demon Dragon; KawaiiLil-InuGurl; animeactionfan; Fushigi Wolf; Defafaeth Mechqua; THANKS AND I'M COMING AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!

Namesake: Thanks for the review! I liked the song as well, oh, that link you sent me. . .is it like a pic or is it a web page? I'm sorry, it won't load. . .but I wanna see it!

DarknessGuardian: lol. It would be cool if my story could be made into an alternate ending for Inuyasha ne? One could only dream. . .

AnImEfReAk81: Oh, a harry potter fic? I wanna read! Hehe! Good for you on the whole posting thing!

Miscreant: Yes, the song is cheesy, but I'm a sucker for fluff and cheesiness. Just call me the queen of fluff! Lol.

Angel Lymisty: I'm glad my fic could pull you into the Sess/Kag world! If you need anything, just holler!

Katani Masaya: Aw, what's wrong Naraku, a lil' shy? Lol. I just scored a 10 on the freakishly creepy scale.

Minni May Yukibara: Hey! Glad I can help! {blush} Muse? Me?

Whysper: Glad that you understand, and as for the training thing. . .it's not like I know any attacks or proper techniques anyway. . .so I'd only kill it. Lol.

Perro: Hey! I know the kids are darn annoying, but hey! That's what I keep them around for! {to spoil fluffy moments} lol. Thanks for the review!

Kiwi93089: Aw! Gir is so cute! {snuggles} Naraku calm down! You get your fair share of evilness already! Share!

DarkPyroPlanet: CF: {sweatdrops} Um, yo? Homey G? hehe. Yume: lol. Thanks for the support! I'm glad to have you as a reader, and I'm very flattered that FMN has become your favorite---or was, either way! CF would be lonely without Emera.

~Mediaminer.org

Awaikage; cassiegurl; japanese_angel12; InuGirl0509; jocie; 12blue12; StormAZ; Kitsune Bi; tgyf; nightmareofcat; RavenCrow16; Sundragon; RBM; Fasha Youkai; Fenikkusu Ice; Medatsu-chan; ErehwonDreamer3013; THANKS FOR ALL THE SUPPORT!

InusDemoness: Thanks for the tips! I'll be sure to use them! ^_^

B.W.authoress: Well, I'm glad my fics can give you that warm fuzzy feeling! ^^

Inuyashas kagome: Nice pics! I've seen them all! I like the one with Sess Kag and Inu the best! Lol.

Striking Falcon: Oh! In love with my fic? CF: {jumps up and down} When's the wedding?! Yume: Hush, child!. . .when's the wedding? Lol. CF: We're sorry your trip sucked, here! {pokes cheesecake at SF} eat! SF-sama will feel better! ^^

IsisTheEgyptianGoddess: I'm sure Jaken won't be necessary. ^^; Oh, and Sess wasn't taking advantage---merely lost in the moment! ^^

END NOTE!

Yume: {yawn} Need sleep. . .

CF: Yume can't sleep now! Yume has to play with CF while CF can enjoy her full moon!

Yume: Go play with the puppies! {grumbles}

CF: O_O But Yume! They like to chew on fluffy things!

Yume: So?

CF: {hugs tail and wings} * whimper *

Yume: {sigh} Fine. I'll stay up. . .

CF: Yay! Oh, go and review! No flames! Kap-king! ^_^

Ja Ne! ^_~