InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Lost Souls Found ❯ The End ( Chapter 1 )

 

Author's note: Goddess Takahashi owns all these wonderful characters.

 

 

Lost Souls Found

Chapter 1: The End

 

 

“YES!” InuYasha's voice ripped out of his throat. His victorious growl sounded wrong in his ears. Everything was wrong. His heart beat so loudly that it threatened to drown out all other sounds. His breath was ragged; his hands gripping Tetsusaiga were streaked with purple gashes, matching those on his face and chest, where demon energy had flowed moments before. But worst of all was his clearing head, remembering that in those last moments when he jumped in front of Kagome and Kikyo, both unconscious under Naraku's advance, he had offered his life to protect them. But it was not his life that was taken. It was his soul that was borrowed. Understanding the bargain, his soul for their lives, he had given it freely. The power that gripped him, flowing from elsewhere through him, through Tetsusaiga, was tremendous. But it was not his; he was merely a puppet on its string, played like a toy on a killing rampage.

 

Naraku was no match for it, nor was anyone else. The blast wave knocked Miroku and Sango aside like dolls, InuYasha couldn't even see them from where he stood. Kohaku took a piece of it to the side and lay moaning in a pool of blood. Kilala was unmoving beyond him, laying atop Shippo. The energy would have vaporized Kagome and Kikyo had InuYasha himself not stood before them, somehow having the presence of mind to hold out Tetsusaiga's scabbard to divert the blast. He glanced back briefly to see that both women were still unconscious, nestled against each other in the one untouched area of earth behind him, the surrounding rock fused into glass from the power of his blast.

 

Only the bastard Sesshomaru still stood upright, looking at his half brother with unreadable eyes. A goopy, gurgling sound from below drew their attention from each other.

 

Naraku's shocked-open eye was the last of him to disappear into the molten pool of lava in the volcano's womb. A silence descended on the mountain as they watched the glowing, oozing mass of magma swirl around, digesting its noxious meal. Without uttering a word, they both knew the thoughts they shared. Is he going to come back? Doesn't he always come back? Could he somehow take the very heart of the earth into his damned youkai-amalgam of a body and come back invincible?

 

++++++++

 

InuYasha ignored Sesshomaru, who watched him carefully carry Kagome and Kikyo down off the mountain. He couldn't tell if Kikyo was alive, since she never breathed any more. But Kagome was. He almost broke down when he realized she was not badly injured, stopping only to hold her a moment longer, feeling the warmth of her body and the strength of her heart beat, letting it comfort him and stave off the blackness that was crowding in on him. He laid her down next to Kikyo and carried the image of the two of them as he hurried back up the mountain to bring down the rest.

 

“Why don't you help me, asshole?” he growled at Sesshomaru, who stood by passively. His voice was not back to normal, hurting his throat with its deep, guttural tone.

 

Sesshomaru did not respond with his usual cool retort. He merely watched his brother go about his work.

 

InuYasha ignored him again and found Sango and Miroku behind a boulder. Luckily, his blast had hit the boulder, which unluckily pushed it over on them. InuYasha's heart moved into his throat as he reached down to lift the boulder off their legs. God, had he really done this? He couldn't tell how badly they were hurt, so he tried to be very careful as he lifted them and walked them carefully to where Kagome lay. They made little unconscious pain noises that stabbed him in the heart as he lay them down. Like a warrior feeling for the heartbeat of a downed enemy, he gingerly peeked under the sheilding cloth and beads on Miroku's Kazaana. Beneath the spelled protective layers lay bare skin, smooth as a baby's, which is probably what it had been the last time Miroku hand had been whole. InuYasha breathed a little more easily until he looked again at Miroku's body, and Sango`s next to him. Their legs looked crushed and covered in gashes, and he took that image with him back up to Kohaku, Kilala and Shippo.

 

Kilala had transformed in her unconsciousness and was whimpering softly. He tucked her and the dazed Kitsune into the front of his haori as he moved to Kohaku. The sight of Kohaku's face, blackened skin on his neck and cheek, blood oozing from his shoulder, made InuYasha sick, and the growing blackness came upon him again. With a growl he pushed it back, stay focused, you worthless piece of shit, he thought to himself and lifted Kohaku's light form, trying not to touch the black skin. He couldn't help it and his fingers brushed the wounds, causing Kohaku to cry out and open his eyes deliriously.

 

“Am I dead?” the boy muttered. “Why aren't I dead?” Desperation shone in his eyes, as they hazily came to rest on InuYasha's face where fear took them over; fear and a momentary flash of hatred. Kohaku passed out in his arms. InuYasha moved slowly down the hill again, bearing his burdens in silence.

 

Last was Koga, the unconscious wolf bled trails of blood from his shredded legs. InuYasha carried him carefully and laid him down, giving him a silent word of thanks for his bravery in revealing Naraku's weakness to Sesshomaru's Tenseiga of the Otherworld. Dumb wolf, he thought to himself, I guess we couldn't have done it without you after all.

 

He sat by his friends, holding Kagome's hand and stewing in his self loathing. Please wake up, Kagome! You need to help them. I can't do it. I'm just good for killing. As if called by his thought, her eyes fluttered open and she took him in. He was embarrassed for her to see the demon scars on his face and hands and he looked away.

“What happened?” she said softly, raising a hand to a small cut on her head and wincing as her fingers touched the bruised flesh beneath it. He knew she was asking about him more than the battle, but he couldn't answer her.

“Naraku's gone,” he said in a gravelly voice, “everyone's hurt.” He chanced a look back at her with pleading eyes, “can you help them?”

 

This seemed to help her clear her head and she looked around at the carnage that was her friends. “Oh!” she said. As she moved to get up and reach for her bag, which InuYasha had retrieved, she stopped, and reached out for him. Taking his hand in her own soft, cool fingers, she tried to look in his eyes, but he looked further away.

 

“InuYasha,” she said quietly, knowing something was wrong. “Thank you.”

 

It was too much, and he launched himself away from her, intending to run into the forest and whack down a few trees. Sesshomaru appeared before him, blocking his path. InuYasha growled at him, an animal hatred boiling up.

 

“Witness,” Sesshomaru said simply, but his command for InuYasha to follow was unmistakable. InuYasha wanted nothing less than to follow his arrogant brother, preferring to rip him to shreds. This thought, and the mindless killing instinct which simmered beneath it, frightened him and his anger cooled quickly. He watched Sesshomaru glide back up to the volcano's peak. Seeing where he was headed, InuYasha took the trip in three bounds and was waiting for his kin at the top.

 

InuYasha reached the summit and did a mental inventory of his body as he watched Sesshomaru move towards him. He noted the broken ribs, the buzzing in his ear from a slight concussion and the ripped skin across his shoulder blade from a particularly careless move when he briefly exposed his back. The pain was starting to come, perhaps signaling the return of his normal body, the demon in him receding into hiding once more.

 

Sesshomaru glided past him to hover over the steaming morass below. “Witness,” he said again, pointing down into the maw of the earth. “Is he gone?”

 

“How the hell should I know?” InuYasha stepped up to the rocky lip of the cauldron, placing a foot at the edge to support his lean over. The heat blasted his face, blowing back the hair from his head. It was so intense that it felt paradoxically like a cool hand against his skin for a moment before it became so hot he began to smell his hair singe.

 

“Looks gone to me.” Pulling back, he looked up at his half brother's impassively impatient expression and sighed. “Miroku's Kazaana is gone,” he said, releasing the information he knew Sesshomaru sought.

 

“Naraku has played this trick before,” Sesshomaru said evenly.

 

“Yep,” said InuYasha, “right down to Miroku's disappearing wind hole,” memories of Naraku `dying' to tempt Kaguya out of hiding came back to him too easily.

 

“So we wait,” Kikyo said, arriving on the scene unannounced. She had not a trace of emotion in her voice, InuYasha noticed. He was disturbed by the sight of her, that awful gash in her shoulder, the same one every time. It lay open under her earth-stained shirt, exposing the darkness beneath, soil and bones, not blood and flesh. If Naraku was gone, how long would Kikyo live?

 

“Yep,” said InuYasha again, trying to cover his uncertain emotions.

 

“However …” her voice trailed off and she lifted her chin, almost as though she were straining to hear something inaudible. “Something is different.” She turned to look at InuYasha, and he was surprised to see a look of sadness in her eyes. Sadness for him.

 

“Keh!” He said to deflect the fact that her expression had unnerved him, “whatever.”

 

“Good-bye, InuYasha,” Kikyo said as she turned to move off the mountain slowly, not paying Sesshomaru a passing glance. “We will meet again, when it is time to leave this place.” She stumbled a little.

 

“Wait, Kikyo!” InuYasha bounded to her, supporting her and blocking her path. “Won't you let Kagome heal you?” Part of him realized that he wasn't really sure Kagome would want to heal Kikyo, but he could see her weakening and wanted to do something.

 

“This place in me will never heal, InuYasha,” she said, again with no emotion. “Kagome needs her energy to heal the rest.” She stood again with some effort. “I can keep the darkness away a bit longer, until I am sure he is truly gone.” She raised a hand to InuYasha's check, brushing her finger lightly over his demon scars. He flinched under her touch, “then I will come for you.”

 

A chill ran through his veins at her words Come for me ... is she still planning to kill me? He let her stumble away from his supporting arms, seeing her in that new light, the same light that had shone on her when he realized she intended to sacrifice Kohaku. But this time, a certain symmetry struck him about their circumstance. The sweet, but deadly Miko he had turned into a monster with his distrust so long ago, was now truly his equal. The monster and the monster. Perhaps there was balance in her plan after all.

 

“Kikyo,” he called after her. She stopped and turned to him, waiting. “Thank you for sparing Kohaku.” Something in him wanted her to know that they didn't both have to be monsters. She stared at him, as though he were a child who did not realize the truth of things.

 

“It was not by my will that he lives,” her words were carefully chosen. “I leave him in your care, and … InuYasha, I do not know that Kohaku has been spared.”

 

Watching her walk slowly away, he puzzled on her words and said quietly, “good-bye, Kikyo.”

 

“You are a sentimental fool,” Sesshomaru's voice had the stealthy ring of a taunt. “Perhaps I should take you down right here. Send you to join Naraku.”

 

“Right,” InuYasha shook himself from his dark thoughts, his voice becoming casual and dismissive with true effort. He was no fool. He did not turn his back on his brother, but moved a bit further away from the edge to position himself out of sword's reach. “You are a real bastard, you know that?”

 

“I am not the bastard in this family,” Sesshomaru cracked what almost looked like a smile, if you counted rows of pointed sharp teeth as a smile. “We will have our reckoning someday, little brother.”

 

They looked at each other, both expressions hard to read. Despite the challenging words and unfathomable faces, it was clear to them both that there was no fight left in the Demon Dog clan today.

 

Sesshomaru ascended slowly to drift out over the valley, following the wind as it played with his hair and cloak.

 

++++++++++

 

InuYasha could not bring himself to return to the group. Rationalizing that Kagome would need water, he ran down to her and grabbed the water jug without looking at her or any of the broken bodies in his wake, heading off before she could do more than call his name.

 

His body was returning to normal. He could feel the healing begin; the purple on his hands and chest were fading, his head was clearing, his skin was mending itself. But his heart was still sick. Now that he was alone, the sickness spread until he roared into the forest, letting loose a rage he had only dimly sensed bubbling below his consciousness, lying in wait within him.

 

How in all hells did this happen? He had been holding Tetsusaiga! He had been willing to give his life to protect Kagome and Kikyo, but even that was not enough. He felt ill again, and his empty stomach churned. He would have vomited out his insides if he could have. Why couldn't his life have been enough?

 

He slumped onto the moist ground, letting the cool wet smell of moss fill his nose and calm him with its comforting scent. The fresh memories came to him unbidden, bringing fear to his heart and tears to his eyes. He had been violated from within, used and forced to watch his body as it did another's bidding. When the demon, his demon self he realized with a fresh wave of nausea, took his soul, he had been helpless to control it, helpless to stop himself from almost killing his friends. The other times, he'd found out later what had happened, but this time he'd had to watch as the other took over. He'd had to watch as he turned murderous energy on Sango, Miroku and Kohaku. All the screaming in his head could not reach them with a warning.

 

And the worst vision came then; he knew with certainty that if Kagome had been standing in front of Naraku, his demon soul would have killed her too. Your demon soul, not your soul, a little voice said. He growled at it, who the fuck cares? She'd still be dead! This thought brought another roar to his lips and he screamed it into the silent forest until his throat was raw.

 

Was there no way to banish this demon from him forever?

 

+++++++++

 

It had been two days since the battle, and Kagome was exhausted. She'd been tending Kohaku day and night, the burns keeping him in constant agony. She was so befuddled with the sleeplessness that she didn't know if it was weariness or the emotional exhaustion of hearing his constant whimpering and crying that had worn her down so terribly.

 

InuYasha came up, carrying Sango in his arms. He had not slept either, silently doing her bidding to bring water, move bodies, build fires, cook food, bring healing herbs from the village. She was grateful for his help, but in her weakened state, she recognized a brewing anger at him too. He would not look at her, would not comfort her. She knew he was hurting for some reason. His demon self had been brought forth, but he would not talk about it, would not let her comfort him. She was feeling alone, tired and terribly worried about Kohaku, and he would not reach out to her at all. He was happy to run around doing things, but he refused to feel anything at all - or at least would not tell her about it. And he wouldn't let her talk to him about her feelings either.

 

As InuYasha approached with Sango she heard them talking softly, and now he laid her gently down next to Kohaku so she could prop herself up on her elbows, her left leg still useless.

 

“Kagome-chan,” her friend said carefully. Kagome was still in a fog and did not respond right away. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Sango look up at InuYasha, with a little affirmative nod. “Kagome-chan. InuYasha is worried about you.” She reached over Kohaku's still form to touch Kagome's hand, bringing the tired girl somewhat out of her unfocused state, “let me watch Kohaku for a while. Please get some rest.”

 

InuYasha stepped around Kohaku's inert form, coming to her and reaching down to take her hand. “Come with me, Kagome,” He seemed sensitive to her weakness, and knelt to take her in his arms. She put her arms around his neck and let him carry her. She had forgotten how much she needed the feel of his body. He did not take her to a quiet place to let her lay down, as she expected. Instead, he walked slowly up to the volcano's cone. She could feel that he was tired too. His wounds had healed, but he had not slept. Again, she worried for him. She didn't understand what was tormenting him, and didn't have the energy to ask the question she knew he wouldn't answer. So she contented herself with holding on to him as he walked.

 

They arrived at the top, and he leaned over so they could look into the maw of heat and death, seething below. No sign of anything but the earth's very blood. He stepped back down away from the blasting heat and sat heavily, resting her in his lap and his arms. He held her to him.

 

“Kagome,” he said distractedly, “are you sure you can't feel any trace of the jewel?” His voice sounded uncertain, as though he did not really want to know the answer to his question.

 

Her heart sank a little; some little part of her had expected him to expound on his feelings for her, apologize for being so distant, tell her he loved her ... she took a breath and lifted her chin up, realizing the adventure really wasn't over yet, and she had to stay focused. InuYasha was right to worry. She closed her eyes and searched the Otherzone, which is how she thought of the place only her heart could feel, the place between life and death, between earth and sky, between dark and light. The place where the jewel lived.

 

“Only Kohaku-kun's shard,” she reported, opening her eyes. “But …”

 

“What?” InuYasha looked at her briefly, quickly looking away before their eyes met.

 

“Well, when Naraku disappeared to trick Kaguya out,” Kagome's eyes took on a faraway look, remembering her bondage, and her one kiss with the half demon holding her now, “the jewel felt `gone.' But when Naraku came back, I realized it hadn't really been gone at all, but sortof `masked.' If that makes any sense.”

 

InuYasha looked up at the clouds, listening.

 

“This time it feels more `-- gone,” she said.

 

She saw InuYasha absorb this information. To her surprise, he didn't look happy in the knowledge that their quest to annihilate Naraku was probably successful. The news didn't seem to bring him joy or excitement. Quite the opposite, she realized ominously. She suddenly became aware that what she saw in his face was fear, fear and uncertainty. This scared her.

 

“Won't you tell me what's wrong?” she put all her anger at him aside and tried to let her heart reach out to him through her voice, and the light touch of her hand on his cheek.

 

He reacted to her touch as though she hurt him, jerking his head away from her fingers, clearly upset. No words came from his mouth, only a strangled sound from his throat, and he just shook his head. He would not answer her in words, but he held her more tightly to him.

 

What had happened in this battle? What could she do? Was it Kikyo? What had happened before she left?

 

He took a deep breath and regained some of his composure. Still not looking at her he said, “it's nothing, Kagome. I'm fine.”

 

But he wasn't' fine. She knew something was terribly wrong. The hollowness in his voice was unbearable; sounding the tone of a broken spirit. She leaned her head against his chest. Closing her eyes, she listened to his heart.

 

To be continued …