InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Odds n Ends: General Audience ❯ One That Got Away (Miroku) ( Chapter 8 )

Disclaimer: The characters of InuYasha are not mine, they are property of Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

 

Genre: Character Thoughts

Characters: Miroku, Kagome, Inugumi

Rated: PG

Type: oneshot

 

=#= The One That Got Away =#=

 

What a beautiful woman.

That first glimpse of Kagome's soft, curvaceous form would have stayed with me ever after, even if I had never come to be her traveling companion and friend. How unfortunate to find that she had possession of part of the Shikon no Tama, a necessary acquisition if I was to find and defeat Naraku, and that our next meeting would be under less than auspicious circumstances.

How very interesting to find an opponent worthy of respect in a dog hanyou.

How much I still regret being the bringer of ill will; of being the one to first utter the cursed name `Naraku' to my friends. It was bound to happen sooner or later, their quest for the Shikon no Tama putting them on a direct path towards eventual confrontation with the demon.

That and Inuyasha's revenge.

Still, I cannot help but feel that I have brought the curse of failure with me into our small group. I cannot help but wonder if they would have succeeded by now without my dark presence in their midst.

Who knows how far the extents of Naraku's curse in my flesh reach. How susceptible it makes me and anyone around me to ill fortune.

I have to wonder, if the never ending greed of the Kazanna extends further than just my flesh, into my very soul.

I use people. Take and take without conscience and then regret what I have done.

That taste of bitterness is never enough to keep me from doing it again.

To suck strangers dry and move on is infinitely more comfortable than to face the fact that one day I might truly hurt my friends. That one day I might truly, in the very literal, very real sense of the Kazanna, take everything from them—even their very lives.

Kagome.

After those first few times, I never lay hands on her again. Opportunities abound, but with her, I am always extremely careful.

Inuyasha, Shippo, Kirara…and Sango.

They are all strong enough to withstand my taking. They are all selfish enough to withhold that which they value most from me.

All but…Kagome.

Kagome is a giver.

And I…I am a taker.

Everything. My greatest fear is that I will take everything from her. That I will ask for all of it, and she won't refuse me.

Friends.

I can never be anything more to her than a friend. I am not so thick skinned as Inuyasha; I cannot take without seeing the damage of my taking, without being aware that I am taking and that it is causing pain.

And so I…give. Advice. Laughter. Support. Comfort.

All from a distance.

I do not have to worry about Sango, for Sango can take care of herself. With one hand, Sango takes freely what she needs even as with the other hand she gives freely what I need. Upon the basis of that mutual cooperation is our stable love built.

Ahh, but I will always have a weakness for Kagome.

The one that got away.

The one I could not have.

The one my love might have destroyed, had I let myself love her.

 

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