InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ People Involved ❯ Alone in the afterglow ( Chapter 2 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Inuyasha… but you already knew that.

People Involved

Ch. 2

By Lara Winner

The study date went off without a hitch and now I can breathe a sigh of relief as I take my time walking home.

I met Kouga at the library for seven like we agreed. I read over his paper, pointed out a few mistakes and made couple of suggestions. I was impressed at the effort he put into his work. But then he confessed that was his last chance to pass history so he couldn't afford to screw it up.

That's typically Kouga. He's not stupid, not by a long shot. He just has a bad habit if goofing off and then waiting to last minute to worry about the consequences. He's also the fastest runner our high school's track team has ever seen so he can get away with slipping grades. It's a small price to pay for making it to the finals three years in a row.

All the praise does go to his head and he gets so cocky sometimes that I want to smack him. But deep down he's not a bad guy. We've been friends since freshman year. That was before the ego trip, back then he was just my lucky lab partner who got to dissect a frog with me and watch as I turned some very interesting shades of green. For some reason he thought that was hilarious.

I think that's one of the reasons I like Kouga. He always manages to give my spirits a boost with his infectious good humor. He makes the classes we share bearable and he's even been there for me when I'm down in the dumps.

Or pissed at a certain hanyou.

I'm not playing favorites here and I don't go running to Kouga every time Inuyasha jumps my case. But there have been occasions when the only thing that's stopped me from clobbering the overbearing bastard was Kouga. Inuyasha should thank him.

But this is where it gets complicated. Kouga likes me. I mean really likes me. He asked me out a twice and both times I've turned him down. He knows that I have certain issues to deal with before I can take him up on his offer. He just doesn't know what those issues are.

I have a few reasons why I'm not sure seeing Kouga is a good idea. Inuyasha isn't the only one but I can't deny that he is the main one.

How am I supposed to get serious with a guy when my best friend hates him?

I feel like I'd betray Inuyasha if I were to go out with Kouga. Sometimes I think I push the boundary with Kouga being my friend. After all, that is the one person Inuyasha has a serious problem with. I don't why but he does. So is it really fair to force him to accept Kouga into his life because of me? Would a real friend be that selfish?

Sango has told me before that Inuyasha's opinion of who I like shouldn't make a difference, and for the most part I agree. Under normal circumstances I'd tell him to grow up and deal with my choice.

But this is not normal. Inuyasha can not tolerate Kouga. I'm having sex with Inuyasha. Both factors change everything.

It's complicated. So for right now I've settled for thinking about it later and turning Kouga down. I know he's disappointed when I say no but that's okay because if nothing ever becomes of this attraction then no body gets hurt. He likes me but he's not in love with me. And that's a good thing because I like him but I'm not in love with him.

The messed up part is that I'm not in love with Inuyasha either…

I kill that train of thought before it can get started down that particular track. What I feel for Inuyasha is best left alone for right now. I'm not in love and that's all I need to know. If I try to piece together anything else it might not be a good thing.

It's easier to just enjoy what we do when we do it. I can think about everything later, after something gives. I know the sex is not going to last and I don't ever want to regret it.

I guess it's a good thing that I'm not letting myself think about it because as soon as I round the corner I see Inuyasha sitting at the bottom of the shrine steps waiting for me.

I can't say I'm surprised. I expected a visit or a phone call. That's the way we are. We can never stay mad at each other for long and we know each other too well to hold silly grudges. Truthfully, I'm not even angry about today.

In my way of calling a truce I take a seat on the step beside him, close enough to touch but not. He doesn't look at me. His golden stare is fixed on the cement a little beyond our feet. He's hunched forward, elbows braced on his knees in a negligent pose that's belied by the thoughtful frown on his face. I wait for him to speak first.

"Well?" he prompts suddenly.

I smile. "Well what?"

"Feh. I know you want to give me the third degree so go ahead. Get it over with already."

He's giving me the option to pick a fight or settle for his version of an apology. I'm not in the mood to argue so I joke, "Why would I do that?"

I'm leveled with an exasperated glare through the corner of his eye. "You're gonna make me say it, aren't you?"

"Its your conscious not mine."

"Keh." He looks back toward the street but he's not really seeing the cars pass. After a long moment he sighs. "I was a major dick today. I should've kept my big mouth shut."

He's not going to actually say the words "I'm sorry". Inuyasha never apologizes in the traditional way. It's one of the things I've learned to accept about him. He's got a heart of gold hidden under that gruff exterior and if I'm patient enough to take the time and look it shines through.

This is the boy that saved me from drowning when I was six and wouldn't let me leave the pool till he taught me how to doggy paddle. He saved up his allowance for three months so he could buy me a pair of roller blades for my eleventh birthday and then spent an entire week helping learn to balance on them. He's the one who snuck ice cream into the hospital for me when I had my tonsils removed. And this is the same guy who abandoned his date at last year's prom after-party to sit by my side and hold my hair back when I got sick from too many tequila shots.

Inuyasha has been good to me and I try to be good to him too.

I reach over and give his ear a gentle tweak. "Forgiven."

He smirks, ducking his head away. He's always had a thing about people touching his ears. I'm the only one allowed that privilege and even then he's got to be in the right mood. I know it turns him on so I'm not about to over do it. He deserves some dignity.

"Come on. Let's go inside." I suggest.

"I can't." He says, glancing down at his watch. "I was supposed to be at Miroku's a half hour ago."

"Then you better get going."

"Yeah…" He rises to his feet and then grabs my hand pulling me up too. "Will I see you later?"

My pulse jumps at what his innocent question is hiding. For a second I wonder what he would do if I said no. Would he pout? Or maybe he'd blow it off? I'd like to know but I enjoy what we do a little too much to find out. Instead I play it cool, trying not to sound too eager.

"Possibly."

But Inuyasha is not a patient puppy tonight. "Yes or No bitch."

I hate when he calls me that. It took me the longest time to realize that he didn't mean it in a derogatory way. Even though I now know among inu-youkai a female is referred to as a bitch, I still get miffed when he lets it slip.

"You might want to try that again."

"Huh…?" he's looking lost until he realizes what he said, then he growls grumpily. "Yes or No?"

"What time are you picking me up?" I ask, giving him an answer without obeying him. My point is clearly made.

He's glaring daggers at me. "Around one-ish?"

I give him by best innocent smile and start up the stairs, calling out over my shoulder, "One o'clock. Don't be late."

~ ~ ~ ~

As it turned out he ended up waiting for me.

I couldn't help running late. It's difficult to sneak out of the house on the weekend. It takes practice and skill not to be seen when my bother and sister are lurking about the house somewhere.

With no school Souta stays up late and plays his video games in the den. Mom and grandpa aren't that much of a problem but since Kikyo started college she keeps odd hours and sometimes she stays up all night to study.

Tonight I had to wait till she went up to her room to finish cramming before I felt I could make a safe get away. Naturally she took her time and I didn't make it out of my room till twenty after. The minute Inuyasha saw me coming down the shrine steps I knew by the look on his face what he was going to say even before he said it.

"What the fuck took you so long?"

That's my Inuyasha. Doesn't know the meaning of the word patience. So I explain, "I had to wait for Kikyo to go upstairs. I came as soon as I could."

"Excuses! Excuses! You're still late!"

"What else was I supposed to do? All it's gonna take is for my Mom to catch me sneaking off in the middle of the night and I'll be grounded till I'm thirty."

He's knows how overprotective my Mom is. Bless his heart, he's even taken the blame for things I've done so she wouldn't completely freak. She has a soft spot for Inuyasha and he gets off the hook with a lot more than I ever could. My Mom can't help mothering him though and it's been that way ever since Inuyasha's mother died.

"You need to relax. If she knew you were with me she'd be okay with it." he brags confidently.

"Yeah okay." I laugh. "That's why I'm not allowed over at your house without another female present."

"Your Mom trusts me well enough. She just knows better then to trust my brother." He counters. "Hell, I don't even trust the bastard. You think I'd leave you alone with him?"

"Considering why I have to sneak out of the house to begin with, I don't think Sesshomaru is the one to worry about."

"Keh. Like I'd ever do anything..." he trails off quite suddenly, his cheeks turning pink. I'd love to know what he's thinking and I think I have a pretty good idea as he opens the car door with a hard jerk, "Shut up and get in!"

The sexual tension continues to build during the drive to his house. I'm anticipating his touch and my excitement is something tangible that he can smell in the close confines of the car. I bet the fact that I'm wearing a skirt tonight makes it even tougher for him to ignore…

~ ~ ~ ~

After the sex is always interesting.

Sometimes I can't bring myself to care about anything but the stated feeling that fills me. Other times I'm drained and exhausted ready to drift off to sleep in his arms, if he'd let me. More often than not I'm just relaxed and momentarily content. And there is the rare occasion when I feel very guilty and a little empty because I can't ignore the possible repercussions of what we're doing.

Guilty and empty… That's the way I feel tonight.

I can't seem to get my earlier musings out of my head. It was okay when I had desire to distract me but now that the passion is spent there is nothing to keep me from facing the many reasons that having sex with Inuyasha is wrong. Very wrong.

There is no help for it. I can already feel myself getting tense as the lazy afterglow quickly fades in the wake of harsh reality. I open my eyes to find Inuyasha watching me intently with an expression that is unreadable. Something is happening, I can tell and I'm frightened because I don't know what it is.

Inuyasha must have sensed my inner disquiet. Maybe he caught a whiff of it in my scent. Or maybe he's feeling the exact same way. I'm not sure. All I know is that he's never looked at me like this before, like he's looking through me to my soul.

What does he see? Uncertainty. Fear. Longing. Regret…

No, not regret. I may have contrary emotions about this new level of intimacy we share, I even have reservations, but that's not the same as regret. I'm not sorry about what we've done. I'll never take back a single moment I've shared with him.

I'm just very afraid that Inuyasha and I are putting our life long friendship on the line for meaningless sex.

Suddenly his golden eyes begin to shine with worry as his dark brows lower in a thoughtful frown. Almost hesitantly he asks, "Kagome… are you okay?"

How do I answer that? I'm surrounded by him. There is no space to think when I'm in his room, lying on his sheets, pressed against his side as the warmth of his skin seeps into mine. He's overwhelming me. If I answer I know I'll blurt out everything I'm feeling. I'm not going to be the one to say too much.

"Are you?" I ask in return, averting my gaze. It's not really a question, but more of a sarcastic accusation.

It takes him a moment to give me an answer and I'm a little surprised at his honesty when he admits, "I don't know."

Oh gods… It's happening. I'd hoped we'd never have to have this conversation. I thought we could wait it out and maybe by then we'd have our hormones under control and there would be no need to say anything because the sex would be behind us. Yeah, that was wishful thinking. This little talk has been long over do.

I can feel his eyes boring holes into my head but I refuse to look at him. This is already difficult enough. I'm scared to see what he's thinking.

"Why are you afraid Kagome?" The hurt in his voice makes my heart wrench. "Is it because of me? Did I do something?"

"It's not you." I whisper.

"Then what is it?"

"We're changing." The words spill out of me and I can't stop them. "Everything is changing. I don't want it to but it is."

It's not what he wants to hear and his walls slam back into place with ruthless efficiency as he scoffs, "Oi, nothing has changed. We're still the same."

For some reason his nonchalance sparks my anger.

"Then look me in the eye and tell me that what happened today has nothing to do with what is going on between us!"

"Goddamn it!" he curses, abruptly sitting up and glaring at me over his shoulder. "You're still going on about today! I thought we were past that shit!"

"We are. I'm just trying to make you see that we act differently toward each other now. Maybe I'm wrong but I know you and I know that before we started having sex you would have trusted me when I said I wasn't going on a date with Kouga. But now you don't and it's not just that, it's all these little things that have been happening for a while now."

I give him a pleading look. "I can't pin-point everything and it's so hard to explain. I guess it's like in one way we've become closer and in another way we're growing apart and I don't know if I'm okay because I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about it. The only thing I do know is that we were never this complicated before."

For being the one not wanting to talk I sure said enough for the both of us. Silence falls and I wait for him to say something, anything that will give me a hint as to what he's thinking. It's a short eternity before he can bring himself to speak.

"So what are you saying? Do you want to stop, is that it?" he asks miserably.

"No." I whisper.

Inuyasha looks torn. He knows as well as I do that this should stop. What we're doing is asking for trouble and I really don't think we could handle the consequences that this could bring. But at the same time I need this and I think he does too. I can't say I love him, at least not the way a sexual relationship should insinuate. I don't think he feels that kind of love for me either but there's something that holds us like this and it's not just the sex.

I sit up holding the bed sheet over my nakedness with one hand while I place the other on his bare shoulder. He accepts the gesture of comfort with a small smirk.

"So what do we do?" I ask leaving where we go from here in his hands. He knows I won't refuse him or whatever he decides.

"I don't know Kagome…" he looks away with a blush as his hand comes to rest on top of mine. " Do we have to decide? Can't we just see where this goes?"

When he finally manages to look at me the conflicting emotions in his eyes set some of my worries at ease. He's not sure where we're headed any more than I am but I know that I wouldn't do this with anyone else. Inuyasha is the only one I trust this much. Maybe that's why we don't need definite answers. It's the comfort level we share. After all the crap we've been through and all years we put in this friendship, he's become my other half… with out me even realizing it.

Our faces are incredibly close and his eyes are boring into mine. I can tell he wants to say something more and I hold my breath in anticipation. Then moment is shattered by the shrill ringing of a cell phone.

I can't help but chuckle when he curses angrily. With a growl he leans over the side of the bed and rummages trough the pile of our combined clothes pulling out my offending phone from the mess and handing it to me. "Here answer the damn thing!"

Glaring at him to be quiet, I flip the mobile open and give a cheery, "Hello?"

"It's a good thing I found your room empty instead of Mom."

My entire body goes completely still as Kikyo's smooth voice comes through over the line. She's got me and she knows it. Biting back one of Inuyasha's curses, I ask, "Are you going to tell her?"

"No I'm not, but you better come home now. You and I need to talk."

She doesn't bother waiting for my response and the line goes dead as I pull back the phone and look at it angrily. Kikyo's using her big sister tone, the one that means I'm about to get one hell of a talking-to.

Heaving a frustrated sigh, I turn to find Inuyasha watching me intently. His smirk is back but this time its full of sympathy. "Busted?"

"I'm not sure. Kikyo wants me home now." I reply.

He climbs from the bed, naked and not at all modest. I admire the view as he leans over and grabs my clothes from the pile, tossing each article at me separately. I can't help but blush when he lifts my underwear and twirls it around his finger twice before deliberately handing them to me.

My face is hot and I'm sure I've turned an unbecoming shade of red.

He laughs. "Stop acting all embarrassed and get dressed already. It's time to face the music."

Funny he should say that because I can already hear my sister's disappointed voice ringing like a dean knell in my ears.

~ ~ ~ ~

The ride home was quicker than I would have liked. I told Inuyasha that I didn't need a referee but he insisted on walking me up to the house. I figured Kikyo might have had the entire place in an uproar with my absence and I half expected my mom to waiting on the porch looking like a mad woman.

To my utter relief there was only Kikyo sitting on the porch swing rocking gently while tapping her manicured nails against the cordless house phone sitting in her lap. She couldn't appear more poised in boxers, a tank top and socks.

The rest of the house was in darkness and my mother was no where around so that meant she'd kept her word and said nothing. I wonder what I owe her for this. She's going to demand something in return for covering for me like this. After all, I've done it to her.

She watches us approach, her cool blue eyes taking in my appearance. Giving Inuyasha a once over, her mouth set in a disapproving frown. She's not stupid. She can give an educated guess as to why my hair and clothes are rumpled and so are Inuyasha's.

Kikyo pins Inuyasha with dry smile. "I should have known she was with you."

"Damn straight." He smirks back. "Where else would she be?"

I glance back and forth between them judging the exchange with a keen eye. My sister is goading him and Inuyasha is playing along. It's usual behavior between them but I can remember not so long ago when Inuyasha had the worst crush on Kikyo. He pinned over her for months and she was all I heard about. I'm not sure how but I finally managed to make him see that not only is he two years younger than her but she had a boyfriend and was completely oblivious to his existence. It was quite an experience and sometimes I think he still likes her a bit.

Of course how could I blame him. Kikyo is perfect while I'm… just me.

Reality calls as Kikyo turns to me, her smile slipping a notch. "She could have been anywhere. I wasn't aware Kagome made a habit of sneaking off in the middle of the night."

Before this turns ugly and I started a ruckus on the porch I needed Inuyasha gone. Giving him by best smile with a pointed look that said 'back off for now" I insisted, "You better go. I can handle it from here."

"You sure?"

I wave away his concern. "Yup. I'll call you tomorrow okay?"

He stared at me for a second as if debating if he should go or not but then he relents. "Yeah all right." He starts down the walk only to turn back giving us a mock salute. "G'night ladies."

I waved and waited until he was out of sight before turning back to my sister. She was giving me "the look" and I suddenly felt as if I were ten years old and getting caught playing with her make-up or something. Clasping my hands behind my back, I offer her a weak smile. "I don't suppose I can just go up to my room and we can forget about this?"

Kikyo responds by patting the spot next to her. I knew my fate was sealed. Doing as bid, I took a seat beside her and sighed.

"So," she began conversationally, "I take it you were with Inuyasha?"

"Yes."

"At his house?"

"Yes."

"Please tell me the two of you used protection."

I flinch. "We're not that stupid. Of course we did."

Her gaze slants to mine, looking a little surprised but mostly resigned. She didn't think I'd readily admit to anything, but oddly enough it felt good to have someone else know.

"How long has this been going on?" she asks quietly.

"About three or four months."

This time her surprise is evident. "You've been hiding it well. Does anyone else know?"

"No." I give her a meaningful look.

"Does this mean the two of you are seeing each other now?"

It's the natural question to ask and I still feel ashamed saying, "No."

Kikyo nods her head, looking off into the darkness beyond the reach of the yard light. "So you've become fuck buddies then."

To hear her say it like that makes it seem much worse than what it is. But she's right. We have sex with no emotional attachments. What else can I call it?

"I guess so… I don't know." I moan dropping my head in my hands. "I'm not sure how it got started. I don't know why we did it. It just happened."

Kikyo gives a half-hearted laugh. "Actually, I can't say that I didn't see this coming. With the way the both of you are glued at the hip I always assumed you would end up together one day."

"Yeah well, it certainly caught me off guard." I snap. She's still watching me through the corner of her eye. I've held out this long but now I need to know. "So are you going to tell Mom?"

"No. This doesn't concern Mom. But I am taking you to see a doctor."

Wha.." I blink. "Why?"

"Because you need to get on the pill as soon as possible. Condoms are not fool proof and you do not want a child right now." She's got her 'it's for your own good tone' in full effect and I'm not about to argue. She's got a very good point.

"I'll can my doctor and make an appointment. I'll even go with you if you want."

Hearing this, coming from my sister of all people, makes me laugh. The thing about Kikyo is that she's not overly affectionate and she doesn't coddle anyone. Every now and then she comes down to earth and has a moment of humanity. Never in a million years would I have thought I could depend on her for this.

"You'd do that for me?"

Kikyo cracks a small smile. "Yes."

"All right I'll go, but only if you come with me."

A.N. - Ex girlfriends, fights, a kiss… stay tuned next chapter. Enjoy!