InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Waiting For Kagome ❯ Wishes At the Well ( Chapter 8 )

Three days after his return, Inuyasha found himself at the well. He'd used an excuse that he needed to patrol outside the village for youkai, to leave the hut despite the pouring rain. He had done so, but as his run took him near Goshinboku, he couldn't help detour to the well.

Standing by the well, he looked down into the depths, which smelled of nothing but soaked wood, damp stone, mud, and water. He put one foot on the wooden ledge, thinking to try the well, but then, he hesitated. Instead of jumping, he dropped down to his knees. Folding his arms on the ledge, he rested his chin on them, squeezing his eyes shut against the sting of tears. He fought them down, and then swallowed hard, and opened his eyes to look down the well.

"Kagome," he whispered. "Are you feeling okay? You looked so tired when I found you. You jumped into your mama's arms as soon as you saw her...they must have been waiting three days, just like Shippo and Miroku and Sango waited on my side. Yeah... they were waiting--for you and me both, I guess, but they just got me. Miroku--I was so tired--he kept the runt from bothering me, took me back to Kaede's ... he's been looking out for me. Kind of annoying, the way he keeps watching ... but it feels kind of good, too. I have friends--friends who care..."

Three days after her return, Kagome crept out of her house under dark, rain-heavy clouds, to go to the well. Heavy-eyed and still feeling exhausted, she hesitated a long moment, before sliding back the shoji. Entering the building and sliding the door back, she looked towards the stairs and the shadowed well, and froze. It's so dark!

Her heart leaped into her throat, and she felt a spike of fear. The dark! She had been all alone in the dark, with only the taunting, glittering Shikon no Tama for company. Tempting her, taunting her, urging her to wish. She had resisted her fear and the whispered promise of a return to normalcy, but it had been so hard! If she hadn't heard Inuyasha's voice, she might have given in. Given into the jewel which, she was certain, would have twisted her wish, turned it on her, would not have granted her true desires. Just as it hadn't for Naraku. Just as it hadn't, she suspected, for any holder of the jewel.

But she'd been so scared! So scared, and her dreams the last three nights kept turning into nightmares. Nightmares where she was in the dark, falling, falling, falling, until she woke up, screaming. Her mother had tried to comfort her, but Kagome could only shiver in her arms, throat too tight to explain, unable even to cry.

If only Inuyasha were here! He'd rescued her from the dark, returned her to her time, and then vanished. If only he could have stayed! If only he could come back!

But he couldn't. She didn't know why she was so certain, but she knew he could not come back to her. If she were to see him again, it would be because she went to him... if only she could!

Her hand left the door handle. Fighting her fears, Kagome forced her legs to move. Step by step, she forced herself to the top of the stairs. With even more effort, she forced herself down the stairs. But, as she stood by the well itself, and stared into the darkness, her determination crumbled. Collapsing into a heap, she clung to the wooden wall, shaking. "I can't!" she wailed, breaking into sobs. "Inuyasha--I'm sorry, I can't! It's so dark!"

Inuyasha didn't know how long he talked to the girl living in the future. Running out of anything to say, he pressed his forehead against his arms, not wanting to look at the featureless depths any longer. He still felt tired, though he didn't know why. And he felt afraid--afraid that he'd never see Kagome again, never be with her. Part of him wanted to pull out Tessaiga, create a meidou and jump in again. It had taken him close enough to her time that he could hear her family's frantic voices; close enough that they could hear him. If he could do it once, couldn't he do it again, cutting back out of the meidou in her time?

But what if he couldn't? He had ended inside the Shikon no Tama last time, and it had been Kagome's voice--Kagome's need--that had revealed where to cut, to leave the jewel and find her. Just as it had been Tensaiga's light which had guided him the first time. Totosai's remark, that it had not been his own power which led him out of that first meidou ... What if he failed? He would die, and if she ever did make the well bring her back, she would find him dead and be broken-hearted.

Even if he took the risk and succeeded, then what? Could he really ask her to abandon family and friends and her own time, just for him? She'd paid so much already... how could he be selfish enough to ask her back?

And to live with her, in her time ... what would he do, what would she do with him? She had tried to keep him hidden, tried to restrict him to the shrine grounds during those visits--for his own safety, he'd finally figured out. How could he learn to fit in--there was so much he didn't understand! And all the noise, and the horrid smells, and the weird metal monsters...

He could do it, if he had to. Would do it, if she asked him. But, to risk his life, to go, when he didn't know whether she'd want him to stay, when he knew she wasn't in danger ...

"Kagome," he whispered, "I'm sorry. I--I'm not sure I can get back to your time. I don't--if I failed, I'd hurt my friends. I'd hurt you, if you ever learned. I guess ... I'm stuck here. In my time." He swallowed against the tightness of his throat.

"But--don't feel you have to come back, just for me," he continued. "You're safe. I--rescued you. It's enough for me. Just--be safe. And happy. I want you to be happy."

Kagome didn't know how long she cried, great heaving sobs that left her throat and face raw. Tears exhausted at last, she leaned against the well, feeling more tired than ever, but oddly, less heavy. "Inuyasha," she whispered hoarsely. "Kami ... if only you were here, I wouldn't be afraid. Of the dark. Of the dreams... when I saw you disappear ... we didn't even get to say goodbye ..." Another sob broke through her throat, and two fat tears slid down her sore cheeks. "I'm sorry ... I'm sorry..."

A hand touched her shoulder. "Kagome? Are you all right?"

"Oh, mama." She felt her mother kneel beside her, and released her hold on the well to lean against her. "He saved me. From the dark--I was so scared, and sad, and lonely!" Words tumbled out, as she finally described the horror the Shikon no Tama had held her in. "He came, and I wasn't afraid, I knew what I had to wish, I told the jewel to disappear, and it did. And then, we were back here, and oh, mama, I was so glad to see you!"

"And we were so glad, too--we'd been so worried, when the well vanished," said her mother, tightening her embrace. She sighed. "I just wish Inuyasha could have at least heard our thanks."

Grief rose. "Oh, mama, I wish he could have stayed!"

"I know, Kagome, but if the well had closed with him here, would that have been best for him? He was never really comfortable here. And your friends would never have known what happened..."

Kagome's eyes opened. "No," she whispered past the new knot in her throat. "He's better ... better off ... back there. He has friends ..."

"And he wants what is best for you, doesn't he?"

She nodded, remembering the time he had shoved her down the well, knowing now, with her greater experience, that he had done it for her. "He wants me to be safe..."

I want you to be happy.

Kagome closed her eyes. The words had come to her mind. She could just see him, in her imagination, looking down the well, amber eyes wistful, speaking that wish. She knew him, knew that he would want what was best for her, no matter what it cost him.

Oh, Inuyasha, she thought. I want you to be happy, too.

Inuyasha took one more look down the well. Be happy, Kagome, he thought again. He imagined her in his mind, smiling and happy, going to that "high school" she'd worked so hard to get into.

I want you to be happy, too.

He blinked as he saw his mind's image smile back at him, and 'heard' her voice. "Keh," he whispered finally. "I'll try." Pushing back from the well, he discovered that the rain had ceased, at least for the moment, so he shook himself off, and returned to his patrol.

And if a tiny smile hovered on his face, there was no one around to ask him why.

Author's Note: This was going to be an entry into one of the LiveJournal challenges, but I put the date down wrong in the spreadsheet I use to track all the contests! It didn't get entered, 6/29/09, is the first publication date.

Because of the particular community I was writing this for (FirstTweak), I wrote the piece from the viewpoint of both Kagome and Inuyasha. (The community is Inuyasha-Kagome-centric.) Since the intent of this serial is primarily to write about the folks in the Fuedal area who are hoping for Kagome's eventual return, her actual appearance in this series will be rare, until the final chapter when she returns. (Which will be a while, so don't get impatient!)