Kingdom Hearts Fan Fiction ❯ The Transience of Memory ❯ Where's Roxas? ( Chapter 9 )

Author's notes: Typical disclaimer I own nothing of Kingdom Hearts.

 

Sorry for the late update….

Just- too much stuff going on. Erg. Holidays.

(For those of you who haven't noticed, I usually post Friday nights) ^____^

 

 

Chapter 8:

 

 

Roxas listened to his phone ring again with detached interest. He vaguely wondered how many times it would be this time before the caller gave up. 15… 16……… 20… he counted. It felt odd to him that he didn't feel like answering. Usually the noise would get to him after four or five rings.

 

24… 25…

 

He lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling, drumming his fingers distractedly on the front pocket of his jeans.

 

There. 27. It was a new record.

 

He closed his eyes, contemplating the heavy weight he felt in his chest. Like a band of iron slowly crushing his lungs. There was, jointly, a constricting pain clenching at his heart.

 

It had been like this for a few days now, steadily getting worse. His insomnia was back full force. He spent a lot of the day trying to make up for the missed sleep. His appetite had been flagging as well. Usually, he loved to eat, but he couldn't seem to find the time or energy to bother with it. Sort of like how he couldn't muster the strength or incentive to get up and answer the phone when it was only a few feet away.

 

Was he getting sick?

 

No… somehow he didn't think that was it. Maybe something was bothering him?

 

He frowned. This wasn't getting him anywhere. He rolled off the bed, deciding he was thirsty, and drug himself to the bathroom to get a glass of water. His jeans slid down a little as he walked, and the bottoms of the pant legs shluf-shluffed across the carpet and kept getting caught beneath his heels. Absentmindedly, he tugged them back up, but they slouched back almost immediately.

 

Roxas grabbed the dark blue cup he had next to the sink, and filled it with water. He watched his own tired reflection as he drank, marveling at the dark circles under his eyes, and the hollow expression he couldn't seem to change. He looked like hell.

 

 

The phone started ringing again, and he shut the door with disgust, opting for a shower to drown out the incessant noise.

 

It was faint, but he could still hear it. In fact, he'd been zoning out, counting the rings again unintentionally. 7… 8… 9… He slammed the cup down on the faux marble counter in a sudden fit of anger. Why couldn't whoever it was just leave him alone? He didn't want to talk to anybody.

 

He ripped off his plain red shirt and threw it onto the floor, catching sight of the unidentified `mark' as he undid the button on his jeans.

 

Just a glimpse of it, the reddish bruise branding the skin between his neck and shoulder, made his entire body shake with fine, sickly tremors. He backed up until he felt the cold paper of the bathroom wall on his back.

 

Just like the last few times, he sucked in deep shuddering breaths to calm his rolling stomach, and avert the prickling saltiness in his eyes. To distract himself from the deadening waves of loneliness that threatened to consume him.

 

He slid to the floor, clutching his legs to his chest.

 

It felt hollow, a dark narrow cavern filled with a frantic scrabbling, like clenched crawling fingers trying desperately to escape. It was a desolate confinement, curving walls affected only by the air he breathed in and the dull thudding of his heart.

 

Everything else faded into the darkness of this suffocating stillness, blanketing all of that.

 

 

His face pressed to his knees, barely aware of the hot wet trails forming on his cheeks.

 

 

 

***********************

 

 

“He's not picking up.” Hayner frowned at the cell phone in his hand, before handing it back to Seifer.

 

“Maybe he's not home.”

 

“I've called him like 20 times over the past few hours! Where would he be?”

 

Seifer shrugged.

 

“If he's not out with me, or the guys, he's usually at home…” Hayner flopped onto the carpeted bedroom floor, brooding. He propped his chin on the heel of his hand. “Roxas knew I'd be free later today, since it was the final day of gofering… and it's already 7pm.” He looked troubled.

 

Seifer ruffled Hayner's hair. “Why don't you just stop by his place later, if you're so worried?”

 

“Hey, quit it. You'll make it stick up everywhere.” He swatted half-heartedly at the miscreant's hand. “And who says I'm worried?”

 

Seifer tilted Hayner's head back, his hand still firmly atop the younger boy's head. He peered down blandly at challenging brown eyes. “Runt, it couldn't be more obvious.”

 

“Bah.” Hayner pushed at Seifer's arm, sliding it heavily from his head, and got to his feet again. Restless? he thought. Who, me?

 

But, Seifer was right- worrying was futile. Only- it was one thing to know that, and quite another to be able to stop. He started pacing.

 

 

“Alright,” Seifer announced doggedly. “I'm going into the kitchen. If you're still doing that,” he waved a hand at Hayner's pacing and muttering, ”when I get back, I'm throwing your ass outside.” He turned on his heel and left the bedroom. “Before you drive me nuts,” he added under his breath.

 

“I heard that, you thug,” Hayner retorted.

 

He stopped pacing after a few moments, deciding to follow the miscreant. “And if you're going in there for a beer, I'll just let myself out now,” he called after him obnoxiously, knowing that was exactly what Seifer had gone to get.

 

Seifer reappeared in the doorway to the kitchen, empty handed, giving him a sour look. “What've you got against Hops?”

 

“Everything,” Hayner said airily, moving towards the kitchen.

 

Seifer was currently giving him one of those looks. The kind that he couldn't decipher, but made his heart pulse harder in his chest.

 

Seifer reached out an arm, as he leaned against the doorframe, blocking his entry into the kitchen. “Care to elaborate?” he challenged softly.

 

Ok, now that look was easier to read. It was the `you're about to get jumped' look, if he wasn't mistaken. He swallowed around the nervous fluttering in his stomach. “No.”

 

Seifer hooked his hand around Hayner's waist, pulling him abruptly against his chest. The blonde's hands, which shot out when he tried to keep his balance, were trapped between them.

 

Hayner tested his entrapment, shifting futilely. One of Seifer's arms held him solidly in place as he tried to break free; the other hand tilted Hayner's chin firmly upwards, bringing their faces mere breaths apart.

 

“Are you afraid you'll get drunk?” Seifer murmured teasingly, a smile curving his mouth. “That someone will ravish you when your guard is down?” His lips brushed Hayner's playfully, his tongue flicking out to taste him.

 

Hayner tried to ignore the body he was pressed so fully against, and the tempting mouth vying for his attention so insistently. He tried to ignore the way his knees were going weak. “No.” He was pleased his voice sounded steady.

 

“You should be.” His tongue slid sensuously into Hayner's mouth, making him whimper as it forced his lips apart. Seifer explored him at leisure, their mouths locked hotly in a soulfully deep kiss.

 

His hands wandered down Hayner's back and underneath his pants to squeeze his backside. The movement lightly rocked their hips together. Hayner's nails scraped his chest as they clutched handfuls of his shirt, a muffled moan escaping his otherwise occupied mouth. Damn. If this continued, he was going to have his way with Hayner up against the kitchen counter.

 

But, three times in one day was pushing it. And he hadn't meant to follow Hayner's first time immediately with his second time. He was going to be sore enough as it was.

 

Seifer reluctantly pulled away, vowing to show some restraint. “They'd be on you in an instant,” he said thickly.

 

“You think so?” Hayner murmured, pushing up against him. The evidence was there that he was enjoying this every bit as much as Seifer. “Maybe it's just you who'd try to take advantage of me?” he suggested in a sultry voice.

 

Restraint! Seifer commanded himself as he looked into Hayner's warm brown eyes. “Not a chance. I catch people watching you all the time.” Restraint!! His brain cried weakly as his eyes locked on kiss-bruised lips. He took a deep breath. “But I'm about to take advantage of you again, in a big way, if we don't move from here right now. And I don't think you'll thank me in the morning.” He looked meaningfully at Hayner, making the blonde flush when he realized what Seifer was getting at.

 

Hayner was too adorable for his own good. He ran a hand through the unruly blonde hair affectionately. “Maybe you shouldn't spend the night again tonight,” he said, still feeling the pull of those wide eyes. “I don't think I'll be able to keep my hands off you.”

 

Hayner stood on tiptoe, planting a loud kiss chastely upon Seifer's mouth, and grinning like a little beast. “Done.” He cocked his head to the side and said wistfully, “Though I'm not sure I care about how I'd feel in the morning.”

 

“C'mon, you.” Seifer pushed off from the doorframe and headed for the door, pulling Hayner along with him, before he could change his mind. “Let's get you home.”

 

 

 

*********************

 

 

“I wanna stop by Roxas' first.” Hayner stopped at the crossroads, turning to him. “You mind?”

 

“Nah.”

 

They walked to the horrifically colored apartment complex in near silence. Seifer was surprised Hayner wanted him along. He wasn't certain or anything, but he'd thought that Hayner might not want to divulge the nature of their relationship to his best friend. At least, not right away.

 

He would appear suspiciously like moral support as he hung back and waited for Hayner to try and get his friend to answer his summons. And today was the last day of reconciling the bet. After this, people might talk…

 

Seifer felt the sudden urge to pinch the bridge of his nose in an attempt to thwart the oncoming pressure between his eyes. Things had somehow gotten unbelievably complicated. He wasn't sure what exactly the repercussions would be once everyone got wind of this.

 

The whole thing was going to be a lot of grief.

 

There'd be the people who thought he was less on his game now, that a relationship with a boy would make him less tough, less dangerous. That gang from before was a good example. He shook his head. It was beyond him why people thought who you slept with made such a drastic change to your personality.

 

Then there were the people who just wanted to get a dig in. They'd try to knock Seifer down a peg or two, by challenging him indirectly. Of course the little fuckers would be oblique about it. He frowned. Hayner would be an exceptional target now. Especially if they found out.

 

They reached some stairs, which apparently led to Roxas' apartment, as Hayner promptly ran up them. Seifer chose to wait at the bottom.

 

The sound of knocking reached his ears. Then silence. A long silence, then the knocking again. Well, either Roxas was out, or he didn't feel like answering. Seifer took a few steps back to see which door Hayner was pounding on. It was the unit on this side, so his windows would be… there. Seifer could see that a light was on. Roxas probably was home then.

 

Hayner scowled as he trudged back down the steps. “I can't believe he's ignoring me. Me! I thought I was supposed to be his best friend or something.”

 

Seifer quelled the urge to sling an arm around Hayner's shoulders. It would've distracted him from his rant, surely, but it was also the sort of thing he needed to avoid in public from now on. The sooner people caught on, the sooner Hayner's safety might be compromised. He felt the rage boiling up like it did that last time, at the fight. If those punks, or anyone else for that matter, did even a fraction of the things they'd threatened to do to Hayner that night, he'd kill them. Literally. And that was only after they speculated about what Hayner was to him. Wouldn't they plan worse if they knew for sure?

 

Seifer shoved his hands in his pockets, scowling. Why did everything worthwhile have to be so difficult?

 

“Do you have to make that face? People are gonna think you're out for blood.”

 

He slanted a sharp look at Hayner, gauging his reaction. “Maybe I am.”

 

Hayner scoffed, “Well, not right now, you're not.”

 

“Hn.”

 

“Just be sure to tone it down a bit if you ever meet my Grandma, okay?”

 

Seifer raised a brow. “Were you planning on introducing me?”

 

“Maybe…” Hayner scuffed his feet on the pavement. “I just thought- well…” he stopped, regarding Seifer with one of the most serious faces he'd ever seen on the boy. “Does that bother you?”

 

Seifer was surprised, to say the least. He was an unsavory sort of character. Not exactly the type you brought home to mom, or grandma, in this case. “No, not at all. I'll try to be civilized for you.” He smiled a little to take the sting out of the words.

 

“I'm not asking you to not be yourself.” Hayner veered into him lightly, hands also in his pockets, bumping him with his shoulder. It was a cute, haphazard sort of interaction. One that said everything that needed to be said, but wasn't as easily perceived through other eyes. “Just ratchet down the bloodlust a little.”

 

 

 

******************

 

 

Roxas woke up, his cheek pressed uncomfortably against the cold hard tile of the bathroom floor. He raised his head blearily, trying to get his bearings as he breathed through a slightly stuffy nose.

 

His head felt as if it were full of cotton. The kind of cotton that made you disoriented, and vertically challenged. If there were such a thing. In any case, it was unpleasant.

 

The bathroom looked rather different from down here. The lights and the ceiling seemed miles away. Even the countertop seemed impossibly far. It was like he was only a foot tall, staring up at the vastness of someone else's oversized world.

 

His eyes drifted to the tub. Its white porcelain side rose dauntingly high before him.

 

He pushed himself erect and, too exhausted to just stand, slid-pulled himself to it. He flung a lethargic arm weakly over the edge, and rested for a moment before attempting to crawl over the side. His throat felt raw, and his stomach fussed with hunger or some such thing. Appetite… indigestion… it was hard to tell. He hadn't felt hungry for days.

 

He contemplated the tub, wondering why it had to be so freakishly high. How much water did you need? (Nevermind that he usually wished it was a bit bigger so he could lie in it without his knees breaking the surface of the water.)

 

 

He surveyed the sad scene of himself, in this space. Lamenting the hugeness of a tub that was quite small, as he lay draped over its edge and across half the floor. His shirt was crumpled against the far wall, landing like a broken toy where he'd flung it. His jeans were twisted a quarter turn past where they should be, tightly binding his legs as they rode exceedingly low. His stomach burbled angrily.

 

Maybe he should hold off on that bath for now. At this rate, he might drown.

 

 

 

**************

 

 

“Hayner! Boy, where have you been!?” a voice shrilled as soon as Hayner opened the door to his house. He had to stop himself from reflexively slamming it closed. Rather, Seifer's hand shot out to keep it from doing just that.

 

“Get in here,” his grandma huffed. She looked and sounded more like a mom, he thought. She was incredibly young for her age.

 

 

Seifer decided it was time to go. He gave Hayner what he hoped was an encouraging look as he went to go, but he suspected it was more of a grimace.

 

“And you too,” she added sharply, making Seifer jump.

 

It was amazing how quickly he felt on edge, as if he were younger again, and it was his own parents about to chew him out for something. He turned to see a spry looking woman of around 60 years of age. Her hands were on her hips, and she regarded him with sparking brown eyes. She had to crane her head a bit to do so, as she was even shorter than Hayner.

 

He considered his options. He owed no allegiance to this woman, so he had no reason to sit through a tongue-lashing. On the other hand, she was Hayner's guardian, so that garnered her some respect. Besides, he knew she was important to the blonde. He didn't want to make an enemy of her by simply being dismissive.

 

He slunk guiltily after Hayner, and into the house, the closing of the door sounding like the sealing of a tomb.

 

 

“You never came home last night.” She started in, glared at her grandson.

 

Seifer tried to blend into the background as inconspicuously as possible. Family spats were something he'd never been good at dealing with. You always had to play by such a complex set of rules. Especially if you cared about them. Although, he'd stopped caring about his parents when they threw him out. Fifteen is a young age to be cast into the world.

 

They started sending him stuff a year later when they discovered he was no longer speaking to them. The ceramic dishes were one of those… reminding him of a time before his family had failed him. When he still believed that they were there to protect him. He'd laughed bitterly when he realized he was too sentimental to throw it back in their faces.

 

“Nanna, maybe you shouldn't be out of bed,” Hayner said worriedly.

 

“And maybe you should keep your word,” she coughed, raising her voice was seemingly difficult on her. “You said you'd let me know where you were, so I could have some peace of mind!”

 

Hayner looked imploringly at her, “I'm sorry, Nanna, I…”

 

”I was worried about you. I even called Roxas' house, thinking maybe you were over there again, but there was no answer. And you know how quickly he always picks up-”

 

“Not lately, he doesn't,” Hayner grumbled, cutting her off.

 

“If you were there, you would have answered then. Where have you been?”

 

“Well, you see…” he started with some difficulty, and a lot of gesturing.

 

“And who is this?” She peered at Seifer, scrutinizing and dissecting him with her gaze. He was glad he had opted for a simple shirt and jeans when he dressed. He failed to think how his normal attire would inspire confidence in the woman. Though, she was still staring at the skully and boots in disdain.

 

“A frie-”

 

“Come with me,” she snipped at him, temporarily ignoring her grandson, “and take that silly thing off your head.”

 

“And you,” She threw a withering look at Hayner as she stalked into the kitchen. “Go to your room.”

 

 

Hayner watched Seifer drag the skully off his head, running a hand through his light blonde hair as he followed Nanna out of the room. This was unexpected. Totally unexpected. And nerve-wracking. He'd sort of imagined himself being there, when they met and talked for the first time, not sent to his room for confinement.

 

He trudged up the stairs to his room, wishing there was some way he could hear what was going on in the other room, and feeling like he was abandoning the miscreant rather unfairly. But there was nothing he could do. Nanna's word was law.

 

But, now he wondered if she knew somehow. With whatever sixth sense maternal figures always seemed disposed to, knew the recent turn of events that had changed their relationship into something more.

 

He hadn't expected that the first `girl' he brought home to meet his Gran wouldn't be a girl at all. The only thing remotely feminine about Seifer was perhaps the elegant refinement of his face. But it still seemed misplaced to call if that. Seifer had a wild, savage sort of appeal. Like the beauty of a panther as it stalks towards you, ready to rip your throat out.

 

To top it off, he'd slept with someone he'd purposely avoided mentioning before, for fear of upsetting her. How… inopportune.

 

He wondered how she was going to take it.

 

 

 

******************

 

 

Thelma bustled into the kitchen.

 

“Sit,” she ordered, turning to busy herself with something at the counter.

 

Seifer gingerly took a seat at the dark oak table. The chairs were old-style. Wooden backs curved, extending wooden armrests, not a cushion in sight. They were questionably comfortable.

 

“How do you like your coffee?” she inquired. “Black?” Her tone had a testing quality to it. Most likely she was thinking of the age-old saying: Never trust a man who drinks his coffee black. It was another one of those spotty sort of stereotypes- Extremely accurate in some instances, but utterly failing in others. Like horoscopes. In any case, it didn't apply.

 

“Not if I can help it,” he replied amicably. Hayner said he could be himself, so he would. Only, he'd try to be more sociable than usual.

 

She glanced at him, appraisingly, before turning back to the coffee.

 

A minute or two later, she approached the table with two steaming beverages. Unfortunately, the coffee was being served in a teacup and saucer with a prolifically flowery motif scrolling around them. Seifer congratulated himself on not reacting.

 

She set them down, sliding one across the table to Seifer.

 

“I'm sorry,” she apologized evenly, “but all the mugs Hayner uses are dirty.”

 

“It's not a problem,” he said valiantly, as he picked up the dainty cup, managing not to sneer. Why did people even bother with these things? It only held a few mouthfuls worth of whatever you put in it. Pointless.

 

He took a sip. Light on sugar, heavy on creamer. She'd guessed his preference accurately. Impressive.

 

He put the cup down and searched her face. She didn't appear all that angry, like she had before. Instead, she was sipping her tea with an air of fabricated serenity, only a slight frown marring the effect.

 

“You really care about him, don't you?” He asked wonderingly. Even though he's not your son…

 

She nodded. “And so do you, if I'm not mistaken,” she said, meeting his eyes.

 

He'd almost gone for more coffee just then, and was glad he hadn't. It would've been all over the table.

 

“He's a good friend,” he managed, breaking the intrusive gaze.

 

“Don't be obtuse, you know what I mean.”

 

She set down her cup, and settled back into her chair with a sigh. “You're the one he's been running around with lately?” She pursed her lips disapprovingly. “He should have just mentioned it instead of being dishonest.”

 

So, Hayner had avoided mentioning him…

 

He'd be lying if he said it didn't sting a little.

 

He's horrible at it, you know,” she said, as if in confidence. “He gets all antsy and still at the same time, and very solemn. It's so pitifully transparent, that sometimes I just have to humor him,” She shook her head. “I knew those borrowed clothes he had the other day weren't Roxas'. They must have been yours.” He found himself caught again in that stern gaze. He couldn't tell if she liked him or hated him.

 

“They were,” he said casually, hoping he wasn't implying anything further with his tone or expression.

 

From the look on her face, she wasn't far from guessing.

 

“Just what are your intentions towards my boy?” she blindsided him.

 

Fine. Drag it all out into the open. This was going to become complicated indeed if she was against it. He wondered how much sway she had with Hayner, if she'd be able to convince him to stay away from him…

 

“I think you've guessed,” he said as calmly as he could, trying not to grit his teeth. “Why don't you tell me what you think about it?”

 

“Calm down, dear,” she placated. “I'm not against it… I'm just… surprised. Especially since he never mentioned you. I don't see why- you seem like such a nice boy.”

 

“Because I'm a thug.”

 

“With that hair? Please. I wasn't born yesterday.”

 

Seifer scowled before he could stop himself, and crammed the skully back onto his head.

 

“Ok, I can sort of see why you wear that thing now. It helps you look the part.” She tilted back slightly in her chair, leaning it just barely onto the back two legs, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. She was definitely teasing him.

 

“You two are disturbingly similar,” he muttered.

 

“I'll take that as a compliment, dear.”

 

She looked seriously at him, analyzing his molecules, or something. It was a very deep gaze. “I'd be completely against it if I didn't think you were serious,” she informed him sternly. “As it is, I'm surprised he brought a boy home to me…”

 

Seifer opened his mouth to say something.

 

“But I can see the bond between you two,” she continued doggedly, “and I would never try to take something like that away from him.”

 

She reached across the table with a warm smile, patting Seifer's hand in a gesture of acceptance and affection. “Just try not to hurt the little beast, and we'll get along swimmingly.”

 

 

 

 

___________________________

 

TBC

 

Damn. It's like… 8 am.

 

Why am I up so early? X_x

 

 

Ok. A short nod to the reviews:

 

Sennenricecooker: thank you. I'm glad you like the lemons!

 

Arching fluids… I know some people describe stuff like that, so I hope none of them takes too much offense. I've just read a few fics where it's done *verrry* graphically? >_< but I've seen it done well too. I was just poking fun ;P

 

 

Deidara: omg you get the award for longest, most gushing, and detailed review ever! (I ate it up!) I don't have time to respond to it all right now, as I'm supposed to leave in like 15 mins… but everything you said meant a lot to me. Really.

 

“You dragged it out, but God was it worth it, you built to it. Not like alot of other authors who just lay the scene and get it over with. You made them dance around each other…”

 

-but I have to say this part especially, made me smile. I know people are impatient for characters to hookup, but the lead in is what makes the rest worthwhile, IMHO.

`Dance around each other' the way you put that tells me that their interactions are coming across exactly how I wanted them to! ^__________________^

 

Again, sorry I cannot write more. I'm gonna be late, and I need to post this darn thing. But your review was awesome, and I hope you'll write again

 

 

AmytheYu: “I thought that the whole Akuroku part was kinda rushed”

Yes, and that was intended. Keep in mind those two had a history prior to all of this. Roxas would never let just anyone jump him like that. Think of it as, he emotionally remembers Axel…

 

“you make Seifer/Hayner so cute” :D I try (hard to do cute, and shirk `sappy'. I cannot have them get sappy! lol)

 

Final exams… pffft. Just kidding. But it's pleasing to know you let my fic drag you away from important stuff!

 

 

Number VIII - Axel: “Seifer did always strike me as the type to hit it as much as he could in one night.”

Sooo true! I kept laughing over this all week. You have a way of stringing words together, m'dear ;)

And more Roxas, just for you! er… even though he is angsting himself into oblivion. *hides*

 

 

Thanks again for reading, everyone!