Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Funky's Special Show - Naruto Addition ❯ Annoying Naruto ( Chapter 1 )

[ A - All Readers ]
Okay, now, I know everyone LOVES Naruto. Everybody except me, because I’m special. But...if you ever wanted to, oh, I don’t know, annoy someone to the point of possible suicide, here’s what you do! Enjoy my scenarios and our special volunteer, Funky Magnum!

Disclaimer: I don’t own Naruto. I don’t own my brother, Funky. He owns himself. And he does a bad job of it, too. Or Quigley Quagmire. I don't own him no matter how much I wish I did! Poor Quigley!

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“Hi everybody! I’m Funky Magnum, Panda’s genius brother! And even though I’m younger than her, I can kick her butt!” Funky Magnum walked out into the middle of a field and waved.

“Not gonna happen, Funky my brother!” called Panda (ta-da, it's-a me!) from somewhere to the left.

“Aaaaanyway, today I have some very cool people with me!” Funky jumped up and down.

Panda’s voice once again came from somewhere on the left. “I knew you liked that show!”

“Shut up! I’M the one who’s supposed to be narrating this story!” Funky threw something off to the left.

“OUCH!”

“ANYWAY, like I was saying, today on Funky’s Special Show,” started Funky.

“I never knew you gave it a name!” Panda called.

“I SAID SHUT UP!!!! Now, our special guests are...Naruto,”

“Hi! I’m Naruto! Believe it!” Naruto came walking from somewhere off to the right.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! MAKE HIM SHUT UP!!!!!!” screamed Panda, her voice fading into the distance as she probably ran away.

“Finally! She’s gone!” Funky wiped his forehead. “And Sasuke...”

“YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” screamed a bunch of girls, running onto the screen of what we now know is the TV show, ‘Funky’s Special Show’.

“Woah! CRUD!!!” Funky squealed as he got run over by a bunch of girls drooling over Sasuke.

“Ooh, we LOVE Sasuke!!” screamed the girls.

“What is it with you people?!” yelled Panda, running onto the screen, carrying a chainsaw. “You’re all CRAZY!!!” She pointed to Sasuke, who was sauntering onto the screen. “HE’S JUST AN IDIOT!!!!! HE’S GOT NO PERSONALITY!!!!”

“Yeah I do,” Sasuke droned.

“YEAH HE DOES!!!!!” screamed the girls, running at Panda, but then being chased away by Rain and her chainsaw.

“Uh, yeah. And Sakura-” said Funky.

“Ooh, TV? I’ve always wanted to be on TV!!!” squealed Sakura, jumping onto the scene.

“Yeah, just don’t turn all split-personality on us,” muttered Funky, before continuing. “And Kakashi!”

“Huh? What?” mumbled Kakashi, who had been sleeping off to the right of the set.

“Well, that’s all our special guests!” Funky clapped. “Now, for out first installment before the commercial.”

“What? What?” Naruto asked, jumping up and down.

Funky checked a clipboard that was handed to him from the side of the screen. “That would be........how to annoy Naruto!”

“Yeah! I-wait, what?” Naruto, finally realizing that he was being made fun of, stopped.

“Yeah! Role the tape!”

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The screen went blank, and all the viewers sighed in disappointment. They had been so looking forward to learn how to annoy Naruto. But then the show came back, and it was just Funky and Naruto. All the other people were gone.

“Yay!” exclaimed Viewer #1.

“All right!” shouted Viewer #2.

“Shh!” shushed Viewer #3.

“And we’re back!” shouted Funky. “With Special Guest Naruto!”

Naruto looked around. “Wait, I don’t want to be-”

“Nonsense!” Funky said. “Now, the first thing you need to know, is that there are MANY ways to annoy Naruto, but this show only shows a few. A few being a lot, let’s begin!”

“Wait a-!”

“Eat in front of him. Better yet, eat in front of him when he can’t get at you.” Two people came and tied Naruto to a chair.

Funky pulled out a bag of chips. “Now, anything edible is good,” he said, munching the chips, “but...” Funky whipped out a bowl of ramen. “Ramen is best! And be sure not to tape his mouth shut, so he can drool.”

“OoooooooohhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!” Naruto wailed, drooling as Funky slurped up ramen. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”

When Funky was done, two people came back and untied Naruto. “Another great way to annoy Naruto is to tell him he’s a loser. Say it like you mean it, people!”

A little kid came running onto the screen. “Hey, you’re dumb!”

“Little kids work best,” said Funky.

“You can’t even beat up a girl!” shouted the little kid, kicking Naruto in the shins and running away.

“All of you who are fans of the show, or know something about it, okay, if you’re fans of the show, you probably aren’t liking this very much, but anyway,” said Funky, “you all know that Naruto HATES being shown up by Sasuke.”

All the viewers (or at least the ones who weren’t yelling swear words and throwing stuff at the TV) nodded.

“He’s right,” said Viewer #1.

“Uh-huh,” Viewer #2 agreed.

“Where did you put my underwear?!?” screamed Viewer #3 from another room.

Viewer #1 and #2 snickered, then turned back to the TV.

“So, always remember to tell Naruto how Sasuke is so much better than he is,” Funky was saying.

Someone walked onto the screen. “Sasuke is so much better than you.”

“Better yet, have Sakura tell Naruto how Sasuke is so much better than he is.”

Sakura walked onto the screen from the right. “Naruto, you’re such a loser.”

Naruto cringed.

“Sasuke is so much better than you are. He could beat you any day.” Sakura then walked off.

“NO!” screamed Naruto. “HE CAN’T BE BETTER! I HAVE TO BE THE NEXT HOKAGE!!!!!!”

“Okay, since Naruto is about to launch into one of his ‘I’m so noble’ speeches, this would be a good time to go to our next guest.” Funky looked behind him, where Naruto was talking and passionately waving his arms. “But first, time for a word from our sponsors!”

The screen went blank.

Viewer #1 sighed. “There should be a sequel to that one.”

Viewer #2 nodded. “That was good.”

Viewer #3 was still running around, looking for the missing underwear.

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Woman: Do you like soap?

Girl: *nods*

Woman: Do you like being SQUEAKY clean?

Boy: *nods*

Woman: Well, I have good news for you!

Boy and Girl: What?

Woman: The price of gas has gone down by .0001 cent!

Boy and Girl: Yay!!!!!

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Well, that’s it for chapter 1! Hey, if you do like Naruto, please don’t kill me. I warned you. I know that...*dodges a stray shuriken*...uh, I said it wasn’t my fault! Talk to Funky! It’s his show! *runs away*

Oh yeah, review, people, or I won’t update it. I’m not going to write a story if I can’t be sure anybody’s even reading it.

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