Original Stories Fan Fiction ❯ Gakt ❯ Love Burns ( Chapter 12 )

Loves Burns:

*Meri*

What did I do? I can't understand it. He's always angry at me. Nothing I do is ever right. I keep trying, but it gets worse.

I stare in the mirror at myself. It's like a nightmare from a horror film. My face looks so pale. My cheeks look so puffy and broken. My eyes are black and swollen. I have a hand print across my face. All from last night.

Why does he do this to me? Why does he hate me so much? He says he loves me, but the way he acts scares me. I'm always coming “home” in fear. No! This is not home! This is not my home! This is a prison! A fucking prison! Home is with momma, daddy, and Lori. I haven't talked to them since we first moved to Okinawa. They are probably worried about me. I miss them so much. I wish I could see them. I want to call them. But warden Gakt took my phone. He took it three works ago. Some boy called my number by mistake. Gakt didn't see it that way. He accused me of cheating. I tried to tell him the truth, but he wouldn't hear it. Gakt beat me with my own phone and took it from me. We don't have a house phone either. His phone is well-hidden as well.

I trembled all over. I feel sick. Everyone whispers about me. I can't take it. I can't take any of it anymore. The anger, the fights, the beatings, the staring, the pain, the loneliness. I can't take it anymore.

But where could I go? Gakt won't let me leave. He has my keys and phone. He is always watching me. My family had tried to reach me, but he turns them away. I suffer because of it. He gets mad when he sees my dad. I only saw daddy once. I woke up one night to someone shouting. I crept down the hall and peeked into the living room. Gakt and my into the living room. Gakt and my dad were shouting at each other at the front door. Daddy wanted inside, but Gakt wouldn't let him. I knew I shouldn't be here. But, I couldn't turn away. Maybe, I wanted to be found. I didn't quite understand it myself.

Finally, dad looked up and saw me. His eyes looked so tired. I almost didn't recognize him for a second.

“Meri?” Daddy asked. “Meri? Meri, it's me, dad! I've come to take you home!” My eyes flashed panic. Oh no! I'm in for it now! Daddy pushed by Gakt and rushed over to me. My warden ran after the room I shared with him. Daddy caught up to me. I felt him grab me by the wrist and try drag me out of the room. I fought to stay in.

“No!” I screamed. “Just go without me!”

“I won't!” he yelled back. “I'm taking you home!”

“No, no!” I pleaded. By this time, Gakt made it to the room and tried to pull Daddy off of me. I kept screaming and begging the whole time. Daddy fell backwards with a plop. It took another to chase my father out of the apartment. Gakt beat me once again with my cell phone and an extension cord. That was last night. I'm still sore and bruised all over.

My eyes really hurt now. I think my tears are trying to fall. I'm crying, I can feel it. It is then I realize something. I want to die. I can't take this hell anymore. I can't get away. Gakt has me trapped here. Death is my only way out.

I gripped the sink under me. No! He needs to die! He put me through this hell and he needs to pay for what he has done! I looked behind me out of the bathroom. The devil is still asleep. I could kill him now.

I paused. Could I do it? Could I actually bring myself to pull out a weapon and kill my boyfriend?

I trembled again at my questions before I leave the bathroom. I do not return to bed, however. I sit up against the wall and watch him with my hate burning in my eyes.

Love is Just a Bloodsport