Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Ranma the Amorous Over-Sexed Nympho ❯ Nekoken vs. the Amapanpando ( Chapter 15 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: WFROSE 
Ranma and Akane are separated in an unfamiliar neighborhood, will the two find each other before trouble ensues?
Anime/Manga: Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Comedy / Adventure / Action | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 11.11.2001 | Pages: 4 | Words: 2.7K | Visits: 792 | Status: Completed
Ranma and Akane are separated in an unfamiliar neighborhood, will the two find each other before trouble ensues?
Anime/Manga: Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Comedy / Adventure / Action | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 11.11.2001 | Pages: 4 | Words: 2.7K | Visits: 792 | Status: Completed
Ranma the Amorous Over-Sexed Nympho
"Candy, now I gots to tell ya, I runs a biznuss hea!"
The almost indecently clad orange haired girl's bottom lip trembled, as she stood facing the man in the red velvet lazy-boy. Earning a reprimand from the boss was serious stuff, she may be able to make by without totally upsetting him if she sat and took it.
"And in my hea biznuss, everbody'z gots an imputent, excuze me, impotent role. Like one of dem, uh.... machine things that go in circles"
"Cogs?" Supplied a statuesque black woman with an afro.
"Cogs, heh, cute word. Yeah, like one of them cog things. Anywayz, you know what happens when a cog don't work?"
The girl named Candy nodded her head, refraining from a verbal answer.
"What? Yo! Speak up ho'!"
"Ye-yes?" the girl replied meekly.
"I starts leakin' money! That's what happens!" the man in the seat clarified, "When I starts leak'n money, I gots ta find where it's leak'n to, ya dig?"
"I dig," replied the woman with the afro.
"So, that brings us to our current perdiment, pardon me, perd-o-ment. You ain't a work'n cog." The man in the seat turned to look at his right hand woman, "Ya see, I likes dat word, 'cog'."
"Cool, cool," the woman replied calmly.
"Since you ain't the work'n cog, I thought I ask you, WHERE'S MY MONEY, BITCH?"
"I-I... ya see, Brotha Jerome, business has been slow and..."
"WHAT? Jo gimme me excuses? Don't make me go upside jo fool haid! Gonna make me waste my talent on yo' tired ass!"
"I... I'll make it up, I promise. I just need..."
"Now you backtalk'n me? Tell me I didn't hea dat!"
"I'm not back talking to you, I..." with impossible speed, a hand struck out and slapped Candy in the cheek, causing her to cry out in pain, yet not leaving a mark.
"Time jo learned jo place! You don't shoot off to the Master of the Amapanpando School of Martial arts! Ya dig?" the Japanese man in the seat stood up slightly bowlegged, carefully combing his afro out, and then running his hand down his polyester outfit to smooth out the wrinkles
"I can dig it."
__________________________________________________________________ _____
Akane and Nabiki arrived at the scene, both shocked and slightly amused with the scene in front of them.
"I'll give it to lover girl," Nabiki said, smirk apparent in her voice, "she does get around when motivated." Various women lay dazed with huge smiles in tattered clothing, clinging to the top of light poles for fear of their lives, or braced against the wall with various weapons at the fore.
"Excuse me, miss? Have you seen a redheaded girl come by here?" Akane asked politely. The woman holding a cattle prod wordlessly pointed down the street, her directions confirmed with a cry of 'what the Hell' in the distance. "Er, thank you. Comon Nabiki..."
"This way?" At least the middle Tendou daughter was taking humor in the situation.
Both girls followed the trail of... well, carnage isn't 'quite' the right word, hoping to catch up with Ranma-chan and find a way of subduing the crazed martial artist before... something... happens. Both feared what that 'something' could be.
"Nabiki, huff, notice that Ranma-sama's only attacked women so far?" Akane asked between breaths.
Nabiki was in much worse shape as she tried her best to keep up with her younger sister, "I've noticed, Ranma's not being very selective either. Did you see that woman with the tube top? Ugh!"
"Never mind that, why do you think that is, though?"
"Well, if she indeed thinks she's a cat, she's acting like a male cat would. Trying to impregnate as many other cats as possible."
"Huh?" Akane asked, "But wouldn't she need different equipment for that?" Akane suddenly stopped, wide eyed; Nabiki stopped also gaining an incredulous expression on her face.
"No way..." Nabiki whispered as she just remembered something. Both sisters looked at their mid-section, then back at each other...
"How... the Hell?" Akane and Nabiki said at the same time.
_________________________________________________________________ ______
Ranma dismounted from another mate, still anxious to carry out her instinctual duty to carry on her species. Her nose perked as she caught the scent of a whole group of females in heat. The redhead turned in the direction her nose followed, salivating in anticipation.
_________________________________________________________ ______________
"This... is just too far out for me," Nabiki said between gasps of air, "there SHOULD NOT be anything there! I KNOW for a fact Ranma-chan was in her girl form before she, um, well, you know..."
"Oh my," Akane's brain had the same phrase looped over and over since they came to the realization of one of Onna-Ranma's many... talents.
"Can't you say ANYTHING else Akane-chan?"
"DIBS!!!!"
"Mou, that's not fair!" cried the older girl.
"Well she's MY fiancée!"
"She hasn't even picked yet!" stated Nabiki, suddenly gaining her second wind as they both cased after their mutual fiancée.
_______________________________________________________ ________________
"Whaja bitch'n 'bout? You say some ho's freak'n all my bitches and cutt'n out pay'n for da services?" Cried Brotha Jerome, "Shiiiit, she gonna learn straight up! Gonna turn her tricks and make her walk da streets fo' me!"
"I hear ya, Brotha Jerome," said the black woman with the beach ball sized afro.
"Foxy Brown..."
"My name... is not 'Foxy Brown'," growled the woman.
"Yo, whateva, I likes dat name fo' you. Take care o' dat bitch fo' me. I know ya do her good like dat, ya dig?"
"I can dig it."
"Cool, cool. That's why you my sista, Foxy. We tight like that, cause we partnas."
"True, true, I'll go catch the little merchandise thief and turn her out before you even miss yo' money.
"Now THAT'S what I'm talk'n 'bout, my bitches! Now why tha rest of yo' sittin' hea? GET OUT THERE AND GET MY MONEY!"
_______________________________________________________________ ________
The Redhead stopped, and sniffed the air again; she was so close to the source she could taste. The pigtailed girl licked her lips in a very feline way, and then caught in her line of sight more females to copulate with. With a territorial growl, Ranma leaped at the startled group of women.
________________________________________________________________ _______
"Thank you, and I'll be sure to give her your number," Akane said to the woman who was gathering herself together. Akane jogged back to her sister to relay the information, "She said Ranma was headed that way."
"That's odd, why would she suddenly change direction like that?" mused Nabiki.
"Hey, little girls! This is my corner! If Brotha Jerome finds out about this..."
"Brotha Jerome?" both girls enquired in unison.
_______________________________________________________________ ________
The tall woman looked down as the redhead finished up with another one of her boss's employees, and skipped off in the general direction of her base of operations.
Ranma paused when she was intercepted by another female, this one seeming to bear malice, "That's far enough honey. You have some dues to pay." Ranma meowed curiously and trotted up the woman, the menacing woman brought her right hand to the back of her head, "And you're gonna have to work off that tab with our establishment." The redhead interpreted the confrontation as the female demanding attention, and attempted to pounce.
"AFRO PICK SHIRUKEN!" A metallic afro comb whizzed in the air towards Onna-Ranma, causing the girl to change force herself to land and change directions. Once the pigtailed girl realized what the other woman's intentions were, her own poise became menacing. Ranma's hackles raised as she hissed at her opponent, to show she was accepting the challenge.
The woman took up a cheesy kung-fu pose, and awkwardly circled around the girl, waiting for a moment to strike; it was not long before she perceived an opening.
"EBONY QUEEN KICK!" 'Foxy Brown' leapt into a jump kick, only rivaled in cheesiness of her kung fu stance. Onna-Ranma found herself actually pressed to dodge it, and before she could land, the redhead had to maneuver out of the way of several more afro-shurikens.
Ranma decided to go on the offensive and ran towards the tall statuesque woman to pounce, but had to redirect her attack when she got within range.
"BEAUTIFUL MOTHER-LAND EMPTY HANDED CHOP!" The karate chop barely missed the redhead's neck, instead hitting her shoulder and forcing her to move off target. Without losing momentum, Ranma raced into a wall, and rebounded off it, then bounded off of another wall, faster than her opponent could see.
The woman gasped as her back was captured by the feral redhead.
______________________________________________________________ _________
"Damn, tricks is tak'n too long! Yo check dis, nights goin' busted! Now how's a dawg gonna be earn'n his keep if you peeps ain't shak'n tha bac'n and bringing back chedda?" The few girls that stayed to assist the Japanese man in the Lazy-Boy looked hesitant to answer.
"Ey, yo, don't sweat it, now I know deres dem bad night's 'n' all, so I'm cool, ya hea? Thea's no needs to prospain, I mean, procreate befo' Brotha Jerome fo' mercy. Tho when that trick who dare sample my products without da propa donation meet wit' Soul Bro, she gonna learn why I'm the master of the Amapanpando Ryuu, ya dig?"
Brotha Jerome waited for a reply, forgetting he sent his right hand woman off on a mission.
______________________________________________________________ _________
"So, Saotome, how do you think their date is going?" enquired Soun as he moved another game piece.
"Honestly, Tendou, I don't think they made past the gate as guy and girl," Genma responded, contemplating his own next move.
"Sigh, I suppose you're right. I guess it was just too much for an old man like me to hope."
"I suppose," Genma decided on his next move, then acted, "Wait? Isn't that my wayward son in his cursed form with a strap-on?"
Rather than look, Soun shot to standing and ran, screaming like a little girl and kicking over the go table in his haste to make a run for it.
"Hmm, I guess that wasn't the best distraction I coulda used at that moment..."
____________________________________________________________ ___________
"Hey, yo girl? What took you so long?" Brotha Jerome watched as the silhouette of his number one woman came into the light, and gasped. She had a bright but dazed smile on her face, as her clothes were shredded to ribbons.
"DAAAAAYYYYYYYMMMMMNNNN! What happened to you, woman?"
The woman looked towards her boss's general direction, her eyes not focusing, "K-kitty," with that, she fell to the ground and passed out.
"Kitty? What da HELL she talk'n 'bout?" His reply was answered by a feral growl.
________________________________________________________________ _______
"Man, can you imagine if it actually swells up that big?" enquired Nabiki, thinking of the mouthwatering possibilities of Ranma-chan's newfound abilities, "Not only that, her stamina seems to be in overdrive when she's like this."
"That's enough Nabiki!" commanded Akane, "I'm soaked enough as it is." Both stopped, their destination now within sight. Akane and Nabiki walked up to the gaudy looking, but rather large house with a sign on the front, "Brotha Jerome's Crib, no Solicitation, just Patronization, Ya dig?"
_________________________________________________________________ ______
"Oh, you done screwed up now, girl! I ain't even got to hit dat shit yet!" exclaimed the tacky dressed man, "You com'n and challenging Brotha Jerome, the undisputed master of the Amapanpando Ryuu. An ancient art passed down from Pimpdaddy to Pimpdaddy, used to keep thea bitches in line. Now you come and poach on my territorie, you best be prepared for its awesome might! Ya dig?"
"I can dig it," replied the sleepy voice passed out on the ground.
"Ranma!" Akane and Nabiki arrived just in time to witness the showdown between the redhead girl and the Pimp of the establishment.
"Behold, Beiotch, the power of AMAPANPANDO, THE WAY OF THE BITCH SLAP!" Brotha Jerome stood heavily bowlegged now, with the heels of his platform shoes almost together. His left hand had been tucked into his back pocket, and his right hand bouncing by his ribcage. The final touch was made as the theme song to 'Dolemite' kicked in the background.
Ranma-chan sensed a male challenger to her dominance over her newly acquired harem, and poised for attack; her ki-claws becoming visible, as well as another appendage formed from ki.
Both Akane and Nabiki's eyes grew wide as saucers.
"I... fit all that into... there?" Akane said with a little awe
"My, our Ranma-chan does have an ego, doesn't she," commented her older sister, "but I think a little bit of it is just the light corona."
"That's still not much, wow."
At an ungiven command, both combatants raced at each other and met somewhere in the middle. Ranma-chan's 'paws' flailing like an angered tiger, while Brotha Jerome's right hand flailed wildly.
"Hehh hehh hehh," Jerome chuckled, "The secret of the Bitch slap is move in ways they ain't expect'n without givin' yo' polezition away. It's capable of crushing bone without harming flesh; perfect for punishing bitches who try to con thea pimp outta his chedda."
If Ranma were capable of higher levels of coherence, she would have had to agree with the technique's formidability. Her cat fist technique couldn't get through what seemed like a solid wall of arms, but at least she managed to keep his attacks at bay.
Both broke off the stalemate to gain a breather, Onna-Ranma emitting a low growl as the pimp breathed in deeply to replenish oxygen.
"Don't think you gonna win dis match!" stated Jerome confidently, "I hadn't even broken out all my repotoo-ar yet! Behold, the Amapanpando super technique, HYPERBITCHSLAP!"
With a renewed speed, Brotha Jerome rushed at the redhead, almost catching her off guard as his arm melded into an almost solid haze. The pigtailed girl returned with half the speed, catching a few licks here and there for her troubles.
On the sidelines, the two sisters and a few others of Brotha Jerome's employees observed the battle. Suddenly after contemplating the match, Akane pounded her fist into her other hand.
"That's it! Ranma-sama's gonna win this match!"
"Huh? How can you be so sure of that, sis?" Nabiki enquired, "Ranma can't even keep up with that speed."
"But you see? Brother Jerome is starting to slow down. Such a fast paced technique has to take lots of energy, and Ranma-sama seems to be in top form."
"Huh?" Nabiki enquired, and then turned back to the fight. Sure enough, the middle Tendou sister could see beads of sweat streaming down from the afro-headed man.
Finally, the pigtailed girl gained and opening, and swung; Brotha Jerome squawked as two rolls of socks and a fourteen inch steel bar fell from his pants.
"What? HEY! He's been playing us!" Shouted one of the prostitutes.
"No wonder it felt so... artificial. I thought he was just on the pump."
"Eternal hard-on my elastic ass," growled another. All of Brotha Jerome's employees, along with Ranma-chan, started stalking the now frightened man.
"Oh, comon girls, I'z just play'n, ya dig?"
"No, we can't dig it!" cried a chorus of angry women.
"Yo, Foxy, come and put these bitches in line!"
"I told you," said the black woman with a voice of distain, "my name's not 'Foxy Brown."
Brotha Jerome let out a whimper before he was dog piled.
"Well, I guess that's that..." Akane commented; as she watched Ranma preen herself, then go to sleep to the sounds of heavy pummeling.
____________________________________________________________ ___________
"So... how was your date last night?" enquired Soun over the morning newspaper.
"Oh, it was great! We even helped a bunch of women out!"
"That's good, it's the path of a martial artist to help the weak," Soun commented, not entirely paying attention.
"Yup," Onna-Ranma piped in, "they even gave us coupons! Wanna go with us and try out this family discount?"
"Sure, sounds like fun," said Soun, not realizing what he just agreed on.
"Ranma-sama, about the cat fist. Do you remember how you used your ki to make claws and endow yourself?" asked Akane, hopefully.
"'Fraid not, though I swear this; I, Ranma Saotome of the Anything Goes School of Martial arts WILL master the Cat Fist! Now let's get upstairs so I can get to work on mastering it!"
Akane graciously let herself be lead upstairs; Nabiki asking herself to be excused as she quickly went to follow.
"Candy, now I gots to tell ya, I runs a biznuss hea!"
The almost indecently clad orange haired girl's bottom lip trembled, as she stood facing the man in the red velvet lazy-boy. Earning a reprimand from the boss was serious stuff, she may be able to make by without totally upsetting him if she sat and took it.
"And in my hea biznuss, everbody'z gots an imputent, excuze me, impotent role. Like one of dem, uh.... machine things that go in circles"
"Cogs?" Supplied a statuesque black woman with an afro.
"Cogs, heh, cute word. Yeah, like one of them cog things. Anywayz, you know what happens when a cog don't work?"
The girl named Candy nodded her head, refraining from a verbal answer.
"What? Yo! Speak up ho'!"
"Ye-yes?" the girl replied meekly.
"I starts leakin' money! That's what happens!" the man in the seat clarified, "When I starts leak'n money, I gots ta find where it's leak'n to, ya dig?"
"I dig," replied the woman with the afro.
"So, that brings us to our current perdiment, pardon me, perd-o-ment. You ain't a work'n cog." The man in the seat turned to look at his right hand woman, "Ya see, I likes dat word, 'cog'."
"Cool, cool," the woman replied calmly.
"Since you ain't the work'n cog, I thought I ask you, WHERE'S MY MONEY, BITCH?"
"I-I... ya see, Brotha Jerome, business has been slow and..."
"WHAT? Jo gimme me excuses? Don't make me go upside jo fool haid! Gonna make me waste my talent on yo' tired ass!"
"I... I'll make it up, I promise. I just need..."
"Now you backtalk'n me? Tell me I didn't hea dat!"
"I'm not back talking to you, I..." with impossible speed, a hand struck out and slapped Candy in the cheek, causing her to cry out in pain, yet not leaving a mark.
"Time jo learned jo place! You don't shoot off to the Master of the Amapanpando School of Martial arts! Ya dig?" the Japanese man in the seat stood up slightly bowlegged, carefully combing his afro out, and then running his hand down his polyester outfit to smooth out the wrinkles
"I can dig it."
__________________________________________________________________ _____
Akane and Nabiki arrived at the scene, both shocked and slightly amused with the scene in front of them.
"I'll give it to lover girl," Nabiki said, smirk apparent in her voice, "she does get around when motivated." Various women lay dazed with huge smiles in tattered clothing, clinging to the top of light poles for fear of their lives, or braced against the wall with various weapons at the fore.
"Excuse me, miss? Have you seen a redheaded girl come by here?" Akane asked politely. The woman holding a cattle prod wordlessly pointed down the street, her directions confirmed with a cry of 'what the Hell' in the distance. "Er, thank you. Comon Nabiki..."
"This way?" At least the middle Tendou daughter was taking humor in the situation.
Both girls followed the trail of... well, carnage isn't 'quite' the right word, hoping to catch up with Ranma-chan and find a way of subduing the crazed martial artist before... something... happens. Both feared what that 'something' could be.
"Nabiki, huff, notice that Ranma-sama's only attacked women so far?" Akane asked between breaths.
Nabiki was in much worse shape as she tried her best to keep up with her younger sister, "I've noticed, Ranma's not being very selective either. Did you see that woman with the tube top? Ugh!"
"Never mind that, why do you think that is, though?"
"Well, if she indeed thinks she's a cat, she's acting like a male cat would. Trying to impregnate as many other cats as possible."
"Huh?" Akane asked, "But wouldn't she need different equipment for that?" Akane suddenly stopped, wide eyed; Nabiki stopped also gaining an incredulous expression on her face.
"No way..." Nabiki whispered as she just remembered something. Both sisters looked at their mid-section, then back at each other...
"How... the Hell?" Akane and Nabiki said at the same time.
_________________________________________________________________ ______
Ranma dismounted from another mate, still anxious to carry out her instinctual duty to carry on her species. Her nose perked as she caught the scent of a whole group of females in heat. The redhead turned in the direction her nose followed, salivating in anticipation.
_________________________________________________________ ______________
"This... is just too far out for me," Nabiki said between gasps of air, "there SHOULD NOT be anything there! I KNOW for a fact Ranma-chan was in her girl form before she, um, well, you know..."
"Oh my," Akane's brain had the same phrase looped over and over since they came to the realization of one of Onna-Ranma's many... talents.
"Can't you say ANYTHING else Akane-chan?"
"DIBS!!!!"
"Mou, that's not fair!" cried the older girl.
"Well she's MY fiancée!"
"She hasn't even picked yet!" stated Nabiki, suddenly gaining her second wind as they both cased after their mutual fiancée.
_______________________________________________________ ________________
"Whaja bitch'n 'bout? You say some ho's freak'n all my bitches and cutt'n out pay'n for da services?" Cried Brotha Jerome, "Shiiiit, she gonna learn straight up! Gonna turn her tricks and make her walk da streets fo' me!"
"I hear ya, Brotha Jerome," said the black woman with the beach ball sized afro.
"Foxy Brown..."
"My name... is not 'Foxy Brown'," growled the woman.
"Yo, whateva, I likes dat name fo' you. Take care o' dat bitch fo' me. I know ya do her good like dat, ya dig?"
"I can dig it."
"Cool, cool. That's why you my sista, Foxy. We tight like that, cause we partnas."
"True, true, I'll go catch the little merchandise thief and turn her out before you even miss yo' money.
"Now THAT'S what I'm talk'n 'bout, my bitches! Now why tha rest of yo' sittin' hea? GET OUT THERE AND GET MY MONEY!"
_______________________________________________________________ ________
The Redhead stopped, and sniffed the air again; she was so close to the source she could taste. The pigtailed girl licked her lips in a very feline way, and then caught in her line of sight more females to copulate with. With a territorial growl, Ranma leaped at the startled group of women.
________________________________________________________________ _______
"Thank you, and I'll be sure to give her your number," Akane said to the woman who was gathering herself together. Akane jogged back to her sister to relay the information, "She said Ranma was headed that way."
"That's odd, why would she suddenly change direction like that?" mused Nabiki.
"Hey, little girls! This is my corner! If Brotha Jerome finds out about this..."
"Brotha Jerome?" both girls enquired in unison.
_______________________________________________________________ ________
The tall woman looked down as the redhead finished up with another one of her boss's employees, and skipped off in the general direction of her base of operations.
Ranma paused when she was intercepted by another female, this one seeming to bear malice, "That's far enough honey. You have some dues to pay." Ranma meowed curiously and trotted up the woman, the menacing woman brought her right hand to the back of her head, "And you're gonna have to work off that tab with our establishment." The redhead interpreted the confrontation as the female demanding attention, and attempted to pounce.
"AFRO PICK SHIRUKEN!" A metallic afro comb whizzed in the air towards Onna-Ranma, causing the girl to change force herself to land and change directions. Once the pigtailed girl realized what the other woman's intentions were, her own poise became menacing. Ranma's hackles raised as she hissed at her opponent, to show she was accepting the challenge.
The woman took up a cheesy kung-fu pose, and awkwardly circled around the girl, waiting for a moment to strike; it was not long before she perceived an opening.
"EBONY QUEEN KICK!" 'Foxy Brown' leapt into a jump kick, only rivaled in cheesiness of her kung fu stance. Onna-Ranma found herself actually pressed to dodge it, and before she could land, the redhead had to maneuver out of the way of several more afro-shurikens.
Ranma decided to go on the offensive and ran towards the tall statuesque woman to pounce, but had to redirect her attack when she got within range.
"BEAUTIFUL MOTHER-LAND EMPTY HANDED CHOP!" The karate chop barely missed the redhead's neck, instead hitting her shoulder and forcing her to move off target. Without losing momentum, Ranma raced into a wall, and rebounded off it, then bounded off of another wall, faster than her opponent could see.
The woman gasped as her back was captured by the feral redhead.
______________________________________________________________ _________
"Damn, tricks is tak'n too long! Yo check dis, nights goin' busted! Now how's a dawg gonna be earn'n his keep if you peeps ain't shak'n tha bac'n and bringing back chedda?" The few girls that stayed to assist the Japanese man in the Lazy-Boy looked hesitant to answer.
"Ey, yo, don't sweat it, now I know deres dem bad night's 'n' all, so I'm cool, ya hea? Thea's no needs to prospain, I mean, procreate befo' Brotha Jerome fo' mercy. Tho when that trick who dare sample my products without da propa donation meet wit' Soul Bro, she gonna learn why I'm the master of the Amapanpando Ryuu, ya dig?"
Brotha Jerome waited for a reply, forgetting he sent his right hand woman off on a mission.
______________________________________________________________ _________
"So, Saotome, how do you think their date is going?" enquired Soun as he moved another game piece.
"Honestly, Tendou, I don't think they made past the gate as guy and girl," Genma responded, contemplating his own next move.
"Sigh, I suppose you're right. I guess it was just too much for an old man like me to hope."
"I suppose," Genma decided on his next move, then acted, "Wait? Isn't that my wayward son in his cursed form with a strap-on?"
Rather than look, Soun shot to standing and ran, screaming like a little girl and kicking over the go table in his haste to make a run for it.
"Hmm, I guess that wasn't the best distraction I coulda used at that moment..."
____________________________________________________________ ___________
"Hey, yo girl? What took you so long?" Brotha Jerome watched as the silhouette of his number one woman came into the light, and gasped. She had a bright but dazed smile on her face, as her clothes were shredded to ribbons.
"DAAAAAYYYYYYYMMMMMNNNN! What happened to you, woman?"
The woman looked towards her boss's general direction, her eyes not focusing, "K-kitty," with that, she fell to the ground and passed out.
"Kitty? What da HELL she talk'n 'bout?" His reply was answered by a feral growl.
________________________________________________________________ _______
"Man, can you imagine if it actually swells up that big?" enquired Nabiki, thinking of the mouthwatering possibilities of Ranma-chan's newfound abilities, "Not only that, her stamina seems to be in overdrive when she's like this."
"That's enough Nabiki!" commanded Akane, "I'm soaked enough as it is." Both stopped, their destination now within sight. Akane and Nabiki walked up to the gaudy looking, but rather large house with a sign on the front, "Brotha Jerome's Crib, no Solicitation, just Patronization, Ya dig?"
_________________________________________________________________ ______
"Oh, you done screwed up now, girl! I ain't even got to hit dat shit yet!" exclaimed the tacky dressed man, "You com'n and challenging Brotha Jerome, the undisputed master of the Amapanpando Ryuu. An ancient art passed down from Pimpdaddy to Pimpdaddy, used to keep thea bitches in line. Now you come and poach on my territorie, you best be prepared for its awesome might! Ya dig?"
"I can dig it," replied the sleepy voice passed out on the ground.
"Ranma!" Akane and Nabiki arrived just in time to witness the showdown between the redhead girl and the Pimp of the establishment.
"Behold, Beiotch, the power of AMAPANPANDO, THE WAY OF THE BITCH SLAP!" Brotha Jerome stood heavily bowlegged now, with the heels of his platform shoes almost together. His left hand had been tucked into his back pocket, and his right hand bouncing by his ribcage. The final touch was made as the theme song to 'Dolemite' kicked in the background.
Ranma-chan sensed a male challenger to her dominance over her newly acquired harem, and poised for attack; her ki-claws becoming visible, as well as another appendage formed from ki.
Both Akane and Nabiki's eyes grew wide as saucers.
"I... fit all that into... there?" Akane said with a little awe
"My, our Ranma-chan does have an ego, doesn't she," commented her older sister, "but I think a little bit of it is just the light corona."
"That's still not much, wow."
At an ungiven command, both combatants raced at each other and met somewhere in the middle. Ranma-chan's 'paws' flailing like an angered tiger, while Brotha Jerome's right hand flailed wildly.
"Hehh hehh hehh," Jerome chuckled, "The secret of the Bitch slap is move in ways they ain't expect'n without givin' yo' polezition away. It's capable of crushing bone without harming flesh; perfect for punishing bitches who try to con thea pimp outta his chedda."
If Ranma were capable of higher levels of coherence, she would have had to agree with the technique's formidability. Her cat fist technique couldn't get through what seemed like a solid wall of arms, but at least she managed to keep his attacks at bay.
Both broke off the stalemate to gain a breather, Onna-Ranma emitting a low growl as the pimp breathed in deeply to replenish oxygen.
"Don't think you gonna win dis match!" stated Jerome confidently, "I hadn't even broken out all my repotoo-ar yet! Behold, the Amapanpando super technique, HYPERBITCHSLAP!"
With a renewed speed, Brotha Jerome rushed at the redhead, almost catching her off guard as his arm melded into an almost solid haze. The pigtailed girl returned with half the speed, catching a few licks here and there for her troubles.
On the sidelines, the two sisters and a few others of Brotha Jerome's employees observed the battle. Suddenly after contemplating the match, Akane pounded her fist into her other hand.
"That's it! Ranma-sama's gonna win this match!"
"Huh? How can you be so sure of that, sis?" Nabiki enquired, "Ranma can't even keep up with that speed."
"But you see? Brother Jerome is starting to slow down. Such a fast paced technique has to take lots of energy, and Ranma-sama seems to be in top form."
"Huh?" Nabiki enquired, and then turned back to the fight. Sure enough, the middle Tendou sister could see beads of sweat streaming down from the afro-headed man.
Finally, the pigtailed girl gained and opening, and swung; Brotha Jerome squawked as two rolls of socks and a fourteen inch steel bar fell from his pants.
"What? HEY! He's been playing us!" Shouted one of the prostitutes.
"No wonder it felt so... artificial. I thought he was just on the pump."
"Eternal hard-on my elastic ass," growled another. All of Brotha Jerome's employees, along with Ranma-chan, started stalking the now frightened man.
"Oh, comon girls, I'z just play'n, ya dig?"
"No, we can't dig it!" cried a chorus of angry women.
"Yo, Foxy, come and put these bitches in line!"
"I told you," said the black woman with a voice of distain, "my name's not 'Foxy Brown."
Brotha Jerome let out a whimper before he was dog piled.
"Well, I guess that's that..." Akane commented; as she watched Ranma preen herself, then go to sleep to the sounds of heavy pummeling.
____________________________________________________________ ___________
"So... how was your date last night?" enquired Soun over the morning newspaper.
"Oh, it was great! We even helped a bunch of women out!"
"That's good, it's the path of a martial artist to help the weak," Soun commented, not entirely paying attention.
"Yup," Onna-Ranma piped in, "they even gave us coupons! Wanna go with us and try out this family discount?"
"Sure, sounds like fun," said Soun, not realizing what he just agreed on.
"Ranma-sama, about the cat fist. Do you remember how you used your ki to make claws and endow yourself?" asked Akane, hopefully.
"'Fraid not, though I swear this; I, Ranma Saotome of the Anything Goes School of Martial arts WILL master the Cat Fist! Now let's get upstairs so I can get to work on mastering it!"
Akane graciously let herself be lead upstairs; Nabiki asking herself to be excused as she quickly went to follow.