Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Third Labor (Forward to the past) ❯ Ghost Riders In Disguise ( Chapter 10 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Third Labor: (prologue)

Chapter 10 "Ghost Riders In Disguise"

Disclaimer: y'all know this here stuff, that Takahashi owns Ranma and cast. That fella Skysaber
wrote some of his parts, and that previous chapters can be found at http://www.fanfiction.net and
that all this here writer's tryin' to do is provide some free reads for y'all with things that ain't quite
so fenced in. So set right back, take a load off yer feet, as we take a quick visit down ta the
Ranch...

---------

Akane had passed out as soon as the spell had finished, and currently lay on a futon.

"Her hair turning white is temporary, an effect from channelling too much power." Jared shook
his head. "She strained every resource she had."

"Akane no baka..." Nabiki muttered.

"She thought it *that* important," Jared mentioned, putting a hand companionably on Nabiki's
shoulder. The middle Tendo was obviously having some trouble rearranging her priorities and
dealing with the emotional rollercoaster her life had recently become.

"So, son," Soun had left the unlit cigarette in his mouth. Knowing how Akane had been dead set
against that habit, he'd been cutting back. As much as he could, which wasn't as much as Akane
had wanted. "Which of my daughters will you marry?"

"Akane..."

EVERYONE (except for the passed out Akane) stared at Ranma. "Huh?!" was the general
consensus.

Akane merely frowned in her sleep.

Jared went from staring to trying to suppress snickering. Elves do not snicker. They have more
dignity than that. So Jared rolling around on the ground, making noises that sounded like
suppressed laughter so hard he was shaking, well that must be something else altogether.

"Oh my," breathed Kasumi. Akane had been MOST upset when the subject had come up earlier.
Something to the effect of finding a nice jungle and living on a diet of bugs the rest of her life
being preferable to marrying a guy. That in a choice between fulfilling 'wifely duties' and diving
naked into a pool of pirahna, she'd choose to go swimming. She had been quite vocal on that.

"Interesting," said Nabiki, shoving aside the beating her self esteem was getting again. "Why?"

"Well, uhm," said Ranma, fidgeting. "She's got this smile. And she's a good cook. She obviously
knows martial arts, particularly that ranching stuff. And, well.... her wrists are really tiny."

"HUH?!" Astonishment was no longer sufficient. Boggling was necessary. Jared wondered, not
for the first time, what kind of skewed value system Genma had inflicted on Ranma.

Akane, unconcerned due to sleeping through this revelation, merely began snoring.

--------

Jared took the furo, changing to "Sherry" when rinsing off, and stopping with the rinse bucket still
over her head when she heard the gasp. ~Well, so much for THAT secret. Unless I use the Xi
Fang Gao Shiatsu technique.~

A little storage closet that wasn't in all the Ranma timelines and was too small to be considered
for a normal person had a door that was slightly ajar.

Sherry locked the door in place, satisfied by the pained yelp from within. "Nabiki, Nabiki, Nabiki.
WHAT am I going to do with you?"

"...what makes you think this isn't Kasumi?" Nabiki's voice came from the tiny little cube.

"She's giving Akane a makeover while Akane's unconscious. Yoga training, eh?" Sherry settled
back into the furo, becoming Jared again as the hot water triggered the change. "That closet's
barely big enough for an eight year old."

"After seeing Mister Saotome (ouch) change during dinner, (eeek) my curiosity was aroused,"
admitted Nabiki. "You got evasive when I asked about curses. Figured... (uhmf) that if it were
*that* bad, (aiiii) I needed to find (erk) out... Can I come out now?"

Jared considered the ceiling. "No."

"Aw, come on! You'd have done it too if YOU had strange people (erk) keeping secrets, (aggh)
living in your home. (uh oh) Especially with Akane acting so crazy! (ahhhh!) and you know what's
going on with her too!"

Jared blinked. Admittedly those *were* good reasons. "What makes you think I know?"

"You're that KAMI that showed up! Voice and inflection's the same. Akane's reaction to that
statement you made, that comment about the hair! (ahhhhh!)" The door to the storage chest
creaked as pressure was put against it.

Jared brightened and reached for his pack, carried with him because he didn't want to deal with
the effects of a certain panda finding things. Besides with his chi this low, doing the stuffspace
techniques were tricky. THIS was a way of keeping Nabiki out of his hair until he could think
more about it.

"My arms and legs are asleep, my back's cramping, and I'm..."

Jared wrapped a towel around himself, preparatory to removing the "Porta Wall" blocking the
chest's door. What was the command phrase? Oh yes.

"Pokeball Go!"

---------

Maerklos Trading Coster, City Of Waterdeep, Toril:

"Hey, straw-boss, y'got someone waiting in the lobby fer ye!"

Rigel Maerklos sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose, using the other hand to push away the
ledger. "Well, truth be told, I could use the break. There are times when going back into
dungeon-delving seems like less torture."

"Y'might wanna do that scan-thingie before ye get there, y'honor. Somethin' not right about her."
The man waggled his fingers in what was intended to look like a magical gesture.

Rigel considered the old laborer for a moment, recognizing him as Stander - a fairly reliable if
simple fellow. "It's considered impolite to mindscan someone without permission. And it's
psionics, not magic."

"As y'honor says," Stander said, bowing and leaving the office.

The young businessman groaned again, stretching joints as he got up off the hard wooden chair. It
wasn't as if many people understood the difference. His family did. A family of traders and
entrepeuners specializing in all things magical. Magic and money sung in his blood, though he was
the fourth son of the family and not nearly an heir. More so because he was a disappointment to
the Maerklos line - someone who couldn't cast a spell if his life depended on it.

On the other hand, at the moment of his birth, a whole *lot* of mages and clerics heard his birth
cry - from miles away and through all sorts of barriers. Because he was not a mage and that baby
had not used a spell.

No, he was what they called a psionicist, a Truthseer. Or Mindbender. A Telepath.

During his brief career adventuring, at the behest of an uncle who had thought it would make a
real man out of him, Rigel had learned to use Telepathy, a shortsword, and a hand crossbow with
some precision. Also the odd gift of Psychometabolism - though it was his telepathic abilities that
remained his main strength.

Getting up to where he could glance into the lobby brought a frown. As well as some concern.

*Wisp, are you there?* Rigel Sent. Minds that he was used to contacting, that he was quite
familiar with, he could link to with hardly any effort. A Telepath's familiars were completely
different from the ones a wizard had.

The reply was distant but the mental tone warm. *Rigel?! Ah, ye nae would believe the nonsense
tha' the Mistress...*

*Not now, my love.* Rigel braced against the flood of warmth and confusion that surged back
through the link. It didn't take much imagination to picture her turning pink and stammering. *Do
you see through my eyes? Any clue to the woman's identity?*

*Ne'er seen her before, though she be lookin' familiar.* Wisp's mental voice grew thoughtful. *Ye
best not be looking to be gettin' _too_ friendly wit' the lass, boyo!*

*She looks powerful. Bet she's got Blackwands' attention and is registering on magic detectors
across the city. I hope this isn't another adventure. I can talk to horses fine, it's riding them that
really makes me uncomfortable.*

There was a flash of alarm through the link, and Rigel knew that his short but feisty girlfriend
would be showing up on his doorstep within minutes.

Deciding he'd waited too long, Rigel sent a snippet of thought towards his moorhound and
walked up to the woman. Champ was a lean fast hound who looked big and intimidating. Using
telepathy to train Champ had also bolstered the dog's intelligence.

"Now, Miss, how can I help you?"

Red eyes regarded his own briefly. "You are not he. I have wasted my time here."

"Huh?!" Rigel didn't usually put across befuddled but it took him a moment to come up with a
rational framework for that comment. "Oh, bounty hunter?"

"Something like that." Setsuna replied. She didn't go into details about investigating timelines to
see if Grey had merged with one of his Analogues.

She also didn't realize she had broadcast enough of that for Rigel to catch it.

An old hand saw a flash of black and white and managed to open the door before Wisp could
make a dramatic enterance.

The dimunitive (4'10") elf girl in the dark armor was ready for a fight. "Okay, where is she?
Where's this girl who's planning on taking MY RIGEE on some adventure?"

There was some snickering at this. Wispara Deneuna was tiny by many standards, but acted
generally like she was some massive amazon.

But of Setsuna Meiou there was no sign.

---------

When Akane woke up, she *knew* there was something nobody was telling her. *What* was
uncertain and she was still too drained to cast spells. There was something *more* alarming upon
first awakening to occupy Akane's attention.

Kasumi had dyed Akane's hair during the night, as the white hair had been simply horrible in
Kasumi's estimation. And one thing had led to another... and she just *couldn't* leave a job half
done, could she?

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Akane looked up as the door burst open, bringing a panda, Jared, a sister, and Ranma-chan
(THAT secret hadn't lasted long, just long enough for a panda to throw a certain boy in the
fishpond) to observe...

Akane. Trying to hide in her bedclothes.

Jared, seeing the results and almost falling down. Not laughing. Nope. Not at all.

"Go away..." came Akane's mumbled voice.

"Akane, are you all right?"

"Kasumi. i'll get even with you for this. i'm not sure how. i'm not sure when. But i'll find a way."

Kasumi blinked, not used to being threatened. Nor seeing why.

"Oh, come on, it can't be that bad," said Jared, whipping the bedclothes away from the huddled
mound.

Kasumi was still going ahead with trying to enforce Akane's femininity. It showed.

Jared blinked and stared, then turned away and stumbled down the stairs.
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..." Followed by the sound of someone falling the rest of the way
down the stairs, then landing on the floor with a loud bonk and continued sounds of mirth.

Ranma blinked and stared, then collapsed from nosebleed in a display that would have done
Ryouga right proud.

Akane eeeped and tried to cover herself.

Kasumi had started with dying her sister's hair back to black. It hadn't quite worked, for whatever
reason. Akane's hair was currently black with violet highlights. She'd then decided that Akane
would look better with a little lipstick. Lipliner. Mascara. Eyeliner. A little blush. Manicure. Pink
heart earrings. A black choker. A black teddy. Black lace stockings. Little silvery anklet in place
to further offset the silk.

"But, Akane, you look so cute like that," Kasumi opined.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" A fresh peal of laughter from downstairs.

Akane looked like she was about ready to cry. Or go on a homicidal rampage. Or relocate to a
rainforest somewhere. Or join a Tibetan monastery that didn't require her father's permission. The
little bells on her anklet chimed as she moved. She considered fainting but that might just
encourage Kasumi further. "Uhm. Excuse me, but... if everyone would leave. i REALLY need to
change."

When everyone had finally left, Akane realized they'd left Ranma. So she started dragging him off
to his room. Unfortunately, he woke up, got another eyeful, and passed out with another
nosebleed.

Of course, if Akane had realized that she'd been engaged to Ranma, she might have just settled for
throwing him out the window.

And then moving to aforementioned monastery.

----------

It had taken Kasumi quite a bit of time to do that makeover on Akane. Especially when she'd
discovered that Akane had apparently not been shaving and had rectified that oversight.

Akane had scrubbed and otherwise done her best to remove it within fifteen minutes, but traces
remained and Akane was trying to overcome a mood that was at least foul if not downright
ornery.

Kasumi, of course, still had no clue.

"By the way, where's Nabiki?" Akane finally asked, in between periods of sulking interspersed
with periods of glaring at a befuddled Kasumi.

Jared's eyes popped. "Uhm... I think I hear her!"

Akane blinked as Jared ran off to the side.

*SHOOM!*

"It's about time you... AHHHHH!" Nabiki's voice. Sounded startled.

"We'll fix it later. We've got school soon." Jared, sounding slightly amused.

Nabiki stalked in, flopping down at her accustomed space at the table. Then moving to get her tail
out of the way.

Akane cleared her throat and spoke in Elvish. "That was a Pokeball?"

Jared raised an eyebrow and responded in the same language. "You've got an idea why it did
that?"

Akane nodded. "Sounds like data wasn't cleared from the last use. Don't forget Raphael built
those fake units. Her pattern was corrupted, resulting in catgirl Nabi-Nuku."

"Brings back memories?" Jared asked, trying to ignore the similarities between miso soup and
warm salty spit.

"No... should it? On second thought, i probably don't want to know." Akane shifted back to
Japanese. "i know a way to remove that curse Nabiki. Look on the bright side, other than your tail
and those fangs, you look normal. Oh, and you might want to sheathe those claws."

Nabiki looked at the clawmarks she'd left on the table and whimpered.

Akane frowned for a moment and pulled a small glass and wire brooch out of a pocket. "It might
be easier to conceal it..."

Jared looked at the primitive work. "Spelltrap?"

"It'll hold the invocation long enough- about eight hours if i do this right. i'm pretty drained, but
this much i can do..." Akane switched back to Elvish briefly. "Dragons can recover fairly quick,
but it'll take me quite a period of sleep. And i don't trust Kasumi any more if i'm comatose."

"Understood," said Jared, considering for the first time in his life making a Scroll of Protection
From Kasumi, then privately boggling that anyone should even have need to consider it.

Akane let out a long breath and held her hands over the bauble, the now-familiar stance stilling the
other Tendos as they watched.
"Cloak Of Belonging gather around,
Masking now her sight and sound,
So that by danger she's not found."

Akane handed the brooch to Nabiki and promptly fainted, her head making a large thunk as it
impacted the dining room table.

"She'll be okay," Jared said, recognizing spell fatigue. "Nabiki, if you pin that brooch on, people
won't notice the tail or ears."

Nabiki snatched the brooch with speed beyond what she normally possessed.

---------

Nabiki (on Akane's horse, right behind her sister), Ranma (still not trusting the mare he was
riding), and Jared (on a dang *big* horse) were riding to school. This, in and of itself, was
sufficiently different from most universes to stand out. However, an added element was from
Akane trying to cheer herself up.

They were singing.

And actually sounded good together. Even Nabiki, to her own surprise and delight.

The choice of song was a strange one to be sure, but it was at least one that Jared knew. That was
why Akane had chosen it. Well, that and it looked like a storm was coming.

Akane began, her clear soprano ringing out across the streets.
"An old cowpoke went riding out one hot and windy day,
Upon a ridge he rested as he went along his way,
When all at once a mighty herd of red-eyed cows he saw,
A plowin' through the ragged skies, and up the cloudy draw."

"Yip-i-kai-ay, Yip-i-kai-yooo, Ghost riders in the sky!"

Jared Saotome took the next part, a fine tenor that made a nice contrast to Akane's voice.

"Their brands were still on fire and their hoofs were made of steel.
Their horns were black and shiny and their hot breath he could feel.
A bolt of fear went through him as they thundered through the sky.
For as he saw the riders comin hard, he could hear their mournful cry."

Akane nudged Nabiki who started out reluctantly as they chorused.
"Yip-ii-kai-yaaay, Yip-i-kai-yoooo, Ghost riders in the sky..."

Jared *and* Akane sang the next verse.
"Their faces were gaunt, their eyes were blurred,
Their shirts all soaked with sweat,
They're riding hard to catch that herd, but they ain't caught him yet.
They've got to ride forevermore on the range up in the sky,
On horses snorting fire... and as they ride, I hear them cry."

Ranma reluctantly joined the chorus with the rest this time.
"Yip-ii-kai-yaaay, Yip-i-kai-yoooo, Ghost riders in the sky..."

Nabiki read the paper Akane handed her, only stumbling once as she sung. Oddly enough, because
the verse seemed to concern HER and her recently developed fears.
"And as the riders loped on by he heard one call his name,
If you want to save your soul from Hell a ridin on the range,
Then cowboy better change your ways or with us you will ride,
Trying to catch the devil's herd... across the endless skies."

"Yip-ii-kai-yaaay, Yip-i-kai-yoooo, Ghost riders in the sky..."

There was much staring as the three horses and riders pulled into the schoolyard.

"Fess, y'all get Ranma's horse to the Ranch, y'hear?"

*SHOOOM!* Jared held out a Pokeball and returned Wildhorn to storage.

Ranma looked around. "Hey! Where's Nabiki?"

Jared grimaced, fished out the Pokeball for Wildhorn, returned him, then released Nabiki from
HER Pokeball.

Nabiki staggered a bit. "Please don't do that."

"Could be worse," pointed out Jared.

"Meow," said Nabiki, her ears flattening.

Jared made a note to throw Nabiki a catnip mouse later and see how she reacted.

"Hey, Akane, will you be making that dessert again?"

"It's called a dutch apple pie, Yuka." Akane smiled and tipped her hat. "Sure, if y'all want some, i
can whip up a batch during home ec.

"They're not all avoiding you?" Jared was a little surprised.

"Well, they're not happy with the lifestyle, and MOST are keeping their distance," said Akane,
"but since Akane's grades in English, Home Ec, and Swimming went up they've been slowly
beginning to speak to me. *Especially* after i started showing new recipes to the teacher that
didn't have the effects of the old Akane's cooking."

"Such as?" Ranma got a little closer. His fiancee was a really good cook?

Akane shivered at some odd chill but nodded. "Firecracker chicken, lemon chicken, did ya know
that i can't find *any* turkey 'round these parts? Found a crockpot and gimee a couple days and
i'll make a spaghetti sauce that'll knock your socks off. Roast garlic potato soup. Dutch Apple pie.
Heck, they didn't even know how to make smores 'round here! So's i showed the teacher i could
make the dang sugar cookies, then rustled me up a fine plate of grub that was considered
downright exotic by local standards. Teriyaki beef. If ya crockpot the meat in water and diluted
sauce for a couple days, the meat gets all tender and the flavor cooks all the way through - but ya
knew that, right?"

Jared nodded. Ranma wondered what a crockpot was. Nabiki looked thoughtful as she made her
way to class.

They reached the classroom long before the bell rang.

---------

One of the thugs was tall and thin as a rail. "So, boss, what we gonna do, what we gonna do?"

Black Bart twiddled his long thin moustache and grinned evilly, his black cape fluttering in a
breeze that hadn't been there a moment ago. "Patience. Our revenge on Akane Tendo will be
accomplished soon. Everything must be in its proper time and place."

The other thug was short and almost round. "Why not just hit 'em now?"

*BONK!*

Black Bart shrugged as he removed the gavel from the thug's head. "Because, Okie. It's the Code
Of The West." He noted that his two subordinates had followed his lead, doffing their hats and
holding them over their hearts while looking solemn. An errant beam of sunlight broke through
the clouds to bathe them.

Oklahoma nodded after a moment. California smiled. He loved dramatic moments. That's why he
was one of the Dozen Thieves. Besides, it beat working at Quickie-Mart.

"If she don't sign me over the deed to her Ranch, or dojo, we'll have to get..." Black Bart paused
dramatically, "...creative."

"Should we use the sawmill, the abandoned mine with the explosives, staked out for the cattle
stampede, or..." California nodded his head towards the building nearby.

"Yes," said Black Bart, his teeth gleaming in a quick grin. "That should do nicely."

The muffled figure of Sancho Pablo Juan Enrique Martinez Esteban Villalobo III (also known as
Oregon) came running up. "Hey, there's a couple of guys applying for the town drunk position!"

"Two?" Black Bart snickered. "Only one Town Drunk's needed. What's the other going to try for,
the Sherriff position?"

Everyone looked momentarily startled at the thought. That WOULD be typical, wouldn't it?

"Well, we ought to go make the acquaintance of this hombre, shouldn't we?" Black Bart tipped
his hat back. "Let's mount up, we gotta ride."

--------

Gosunkugi watched. There was his Akane. They'd not driven her insane, he knew that.

No, he would save her. For he knew the TRUTH. One of his spells had gone wrong. It had
combined with the effects of the Chem Club's pepper bomb and somehow had turned dear sweet
(though violent and monomaniacal) Akane into a... whatever she was.

It had taken all of his money to afford it, and he'd even sold some of his precious picture of the
pre-bomb Akane to help, but he had the ticket to bring back the old Akane.

And then she would be his.

--------

Sitting Pretty, a handsome woman in her late 30s, was the defacto sensei of the Old West style of
Martial Arts Indian Wrestling. (Her husband, Chief Daikawa Bungo, had passed on long ago
while trying to master the legendary technique "Ghost Dance" - unfortunately Bungo had two left
feet...) Her son, the almost terminally shy Plenty Bull, was the designated Heir.

"Plenty Bull shall marry Akane," Sitting Pretty said, passing the pipe to Soun who grabbed the
tobacco product with all the force of a deprived addict.

"...but she's already engaged to Ranma, the Houses must be joined," said Soun in between greedy
puffs.

"Do you not have other daughters who may fulfill this pledge?" Sitting Pretty inquired, placing a
few coins in a single neat stack on the table.

"...Now, Soun, old buddy. You *do* have two daughters who could do!" Genma eyed the coins
greedily, though his drunken blur made it a little difficult to count how many coins there actually
were in that pile. Or was it two piles. Damn that "rotgut" was strong... what did they call it?
Whiskey! That was the strange term. Good stuff though.

"Unnnnn," said Plenty Bull, happy that things could be so amicable.

"Yes, I suppose you're right, Saotome. Both of you." Soun had only had half a bottle to Genma's
two. His first jolt of the stuff had numbed his throat and curled his moustache. Then he'd made the
mistake of coughing up little sprays of the drink while leaning close to a candle. This nice lady had
informed him his moustache would grow back in a couple of weeks. Still once she'd seen how
crazy Akane was, Soun was sure she'd drop it.

"Though seeing how popular Akane is, maybe you should make it a contest. Winner gets Akane."
Genma thought this was clever. Ranma would win, Akane would be grateful about being rescued
from marrying Grunting Mountain or whatever his name was, and the Houses would be joined!

Wyoming, one of the Dozen Thieves, used his "Dirty Sidewinder" stealth manuever to leave his
place of concealment. The Boss needed to know about this!

-------

For absolutely no reason, Akane shivered. Must be a side effect of the vitamins Kasumi insisted
she take at every meal.

"Something wrong, Akane?" Yuka asked, concerned. Akane wasn't acting normal, but at least she
was stable and not suicidal. She'd decided a few days ago to try to be friends with Akane again
and see if she could help Akane recover from her ordeal. Of course, she'd also discovered
something in that time.

"Just felt like something terrible is going to happen," Akane glanced towards the window. "You
know, that feeling of 'looming impending doom' like..."

"Like when Kuno's getting up to give a speech?" Yuka supplied playfully.

Akane actually smiled at that. "Yeah, something like that."

"So, how did you..." Sayuri gestured at the mountains of pies, cakes, cookies, an orange glazed
duck, and where a pot of tea was now steaming on the oven.

"Martial Arts Cooking, a subdiscipline within Martial Arts Housekeeping." Akane eyed the
mound a little uncertainly herself. "Guess i just started going on automatic and..."

"Something you learned in a previous life?" Yuka guessed.

"What is *that* supposed to mean?" Sayuri eyed her longtime associate. If the madness was
spreading was something bizarre going to happen to HER now?

"I listened. Akane's made several references over the past week to skills like that shrine priestess
stuff that she's picked up in 'previous lives' - when it all clicked." Yuka nodded, watching Akane
carefully. Akane *used* to be able to do a decent "poker face" but since the bomb had become
*very* easy to read. And Akane had never lied, not to her friends at any rate.

Akane looked back, uncertainty and a touch of fear there. "So you know?"

Yuka nodded. "Hey, I may not be a juku student, but I'm not an idiot. You have trouble
remembering a lot of things Akane used to know off the top of her head, but manage to do them
easier when you're distracted. What I want to know, is Akane still in there?"

"Yes. i thought she was dead. Instead she's apparently in a coma, late effects of the bomb, taking
too many antihistamines at once, and drowning in the bathtub." Akane sighed, both glad that the
secret was out and nervous about this. Would she be shunned again now that someone knew? It
had been getting nicer, "Akane's" newfound skills at cooking had been a draw, while the boys had
largely still been afraid that hitting on her (literally or figuratively) would bring the suicidal Akane
back.

Yuka nodded, having put together comments over several days. "And you can't get out on your
own?"

Akane's eyes widened. Was Yuka a telepath in this timeline?

Yuka nodded, "Akane's" expression giving answer enough. "That's pretty much what I figured.
Hmmm. What's this stuff called?"

"Raspberry cupcakes... you're taking this awfully well." Akane had expected screams, wooden
stakes, crowds of torchbearing Nerima citizens, any number of things. One of Akane's friends
nibbling on a cupcake was NOT something she had anticipated.

"I've been watching you," said Yuka between munches, "we share classes. I've been around that
temple you've been working at. Even that study session we had Friday. Akane would never have
been embarassed and refused to look at the girls in the locker room. My goodness, I was wearing
a t-shirt when I tried to talk to you on Friday and you still turned red and wouldn't even look in
my direction. I have trouble picturing a demon of some kind getting embarrassed just because I
was flashing my legs. Heck, even most guys would have just enjoyed the view."

"...it wouldn't be right..." mumbled Akane, just the memory causing a blush.

Sayuri finished freaking out. "I *missed* all that?"

Yuka preened. "Guess reading all those Encyclopedia Brown novels finally paid off. But that does
leave one mystery."

Akane blinked, impressed. "What's that?"

Yuka gestured. "What are you going to do with all this food?"

----------

Jared blinked as the Junior Home Economics class just prior to the Seniors lunch period brought
out staggeringly huge amounts of mainly Western style food.

"Looks like Akane's did it again," said Hiroshi to Daisuke as he passed by the space near a tree
that Jared had staked out. That they were Juniors and should be in Tetsuhara's Study Hall was
ignored, at least by them.

"Damn, have you tried this 'Firecracker Chicken'?" Daisuke responded, his voice muffled by the
amount of food crammed in there.

"Mrrrrrr?" Nabiki purred and rubbed her cheek against Jared's chest. The experiment: "what
would happen if Nabi-neko were presented with a small amount of catnip" had been irresistable.
Jared scratched the catgirl in his lap behind one ear and stroked her back with long even strokes,
and was rewarded by a rumbling noise that shouldn't have been humanly possible. Well, that and a
Prefectural Magical Catgirl that was sort of bonelessly slumped across his lap.

True to the effects of the brooch and the "Cloak Of Belonging" spell, people were commenting on
Nabiki seeming unusually affectionate or that Nabiki had *finally* found a boyfriend and maybe
now people didn't need to fear the blackmail of the mercenary and heartless IceQueen anymore.

Jared spared a glance at the contentedly purring Nabiki as she mewed and rubbed a cheek against
his stomach. IceQueen? What IceQueen? He didn't see any IceQueen here. No sign of a heartless
mercenary either...

"Well, isn't this something," commented Akane as she approached with a tray full of...

"Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou. Gimmee!" Jared could eat rice, miso (shudder), and a
number of other foods native to the region. Being presented with the scents of four quarter-pound
cheeseburgers and a small mound of fries that seemed awfully thick and coated with some
powder. "You *bake* French Fries?"

"With some spices, yes. Frying them gives you horrible amounts of cholestorol. Besides, after an
accident earlier this year, Akane isn't allowed near the deep fryer." Akane held a fish biscuit in
front of her sister and waited for the catgirl to take it. "Nice to see she's adapting."

"Catnip cures a *world* of feline ills," explained Jared. "Almost looks like she's learned the
Catfist. She's been rubbing up against me. Scent glands in the forehead and cheeks have marked
me as her territory. Which is terribly In Character for her, don't you think?"

"Yeah well, she's Nabiki. Just has feline mannerisms now. Not too bad. She was going through a
lot of angst and such prior to this. Whereas she certainly looks happy with the way things turned
out. Oh, gotta get going. THEY think that all this food would go to waste. i explained we have
the Seniors and Juniors. And that there's Ranma. Also that any of the girls can strike up a
conversation with the boy of their choice by presenting them with some excess food." Akane
shrugged. "Speaking of which, i see Ranma. All i should need to do is point him in the right
direction."

Jared watched Akane go, ignoring as best he was able the catgirl happily munching a fish shaped
biscuit that was still in his lap. Then his Elven hearing pricked as he heard two girls talking.

"Yuka! How can you trust her? She's possessed Akane!"

"He. And..."

"HE?!" Sayuri covered her mouth as she realized how far that had carried. "B-b-but..."

"Like I've said, I've been watching. She's really uncomfortable being a girl. Doesn't like it at all.
Just going to the bathroom embarrasses her. Even a week later. That's why I thought maybe it
wasn't intentional."

"She... he... arghhh. IT possessed Akane by accident? How the hell do you accidently possess
someone?!"

"Sayuri, hush." Yuka held up a finger and looked smug and the two started whispering in a lower
voice that even Elven hearing couldn't pick up without a spell.

"So someone else's figured it out," said Nabiki as she stretched.

"You knew?" Jared raised an eyebrow. ~Trust Nabiki to put together the pieces of a puzzle.~

"That's not the whole answer though. It's not just this fellow, it's my sister in there too.
Expressions, odd little habits, body language. I never completely bought Kasumi's explanation.
And that girl couldn't conceal what she's feeling if her life depended on it."

Jared nodded. "You feeling better now?"

"Better than I have in quite some time," Nabiki admitted as she lazily flicked her tail. "Well, I'm
going to class before the bell rings. You coming?"

"Just a moment," Jared began munching in true Saotome fashion. No point in letting food go to
waste, after all.

---------

The classes had ended and school was at a close when four youths were approached by a single
other.

Jared shifted his balance slightly on seeing Tatewaki Kuno on an intercept course. A good fight.
Just what was needed.

"Is this true?! Akane Tendo, please tell this noble samurai that the scurrilous rumors flying about
are correct?"

Akane blinked. "Which rumors are those?"

"That you are once again interested in the male gender, pursuing the correct sort of relationship
for a beauteous (if bizarre) young maid such as yourself." Kuno appeared to be weeping in joy at
the thought.

Akane blinked again. "*Where* did you get an idea like that?"

"This engagement you have to this Ranma Saotome!" Kuno turned to Ranma. "Ah, bless you, for
bringing the fair maiden back to the proper path!"

"B-b-b-b-b-but..." Akane spluttered.

"Well, uhm, thanks man." Ranma tugged at his pigtail and looked embarassed.

"B-b-b-b-b-but..." Akane continued, her face turning pale as she started twitching.

*Snort, chortle, snicker.* Jared's calm and dignified Elven poise was in danger of crumbling away
entirely. Not that he was laughing. Nope-nope-nope.

"I approve. I approve most heartily," Kuno exclaimed.

"B-b-b-b-b-but..." Akane repeated, her face a mask of horror and mind shut down from the shock
and nausea.

"Aw, she's speechless," teased Nabiki, unable to resist. "They make such a cute couple..."

"B-b-b-b-b-but..." Akane considered fainting. ~This can't be happening. Please let this not be
happening.~

A smoke bomb exploded. Nabiki hissed. Jared reached for his Nerd Toy. Ranma coughed a lot.

"B-b-b-b-b-..." Akane's voice abruptly cut off.

As the smoke cleared, Black Bart twirled his moustache from atop the school wall. "Nya ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha! Akane Tendo Will Be Mine!"

"We'll see about that," Jared said, leaping to the chase. After all, a villain needed pummelling. Just
what he needed after a truly boring class in Japanese History. Who the blazes *cared* who
Ieyasu's son's third mistress' grandchild was?!

Ranma gradually stopped coughing.

"Daddy?" Nabiki and the crowd of Furinkan youths looked on the man in a brown gi walking up
with a panda.

"It's true," Soun said. "The agreement is that whoever rescues Akane gets the Deed To Her
Ranch as well as marries Akane. Ranma, we're counting on you!" ~So much so that we've got a
priest on standby to perform a quick ceremony.~

"Hey, who says I want to get..." Ranma ate dirt as he was suddenly being stepped on by a large
crowd of youths who had sampled her cooking. Besides, each knew in THEIR heart that all
Akane needed was someone like themselves in order to be healed of her mental aberrations.

"So, Akane will marry whoever rescues her," said Gosunkugi. First he'd get rid of the demon,
then Akane would be HIS!

"Yes," agreed Soun a little uncertainly.

"Yeahhhhhhhh!" The crowd of boys raced out the gates. They had no idea where to look, but
little facts like that couldn't stand in the way of love. Or lust. Or the true Hell that was "Akane's"
life.

--------------

Shan sped in and finally penetrated the blue-haired girl's defensive fields.

Sakyo took the android's head in her hands, got a partial download, then transferred data to Shan.

The Ifurita unit broke the hold and with a snarl turned to destroy the Ukyo-clone.

Shan blew it apart with a small gesture. "That's four less of the evil units."

Sakyo nodded with a happy noise. "Master will be *so* pleased."

--------------

Ranma ran, not that he was really interested in getting married. No, not at all. But Akane was HIS
fiancee and he wasn't gonna let any of those hentai touch her! "No way!"

Jared ran. There was a villain to beat severely on. JUST what he needed. Akane? Well, Akane
probably didn't need rescuing. No doubt she had them right where she wanted them. The problem
was, where would Black Bart have taken Akane? Of course, if he had known of Soun's
proclamation, he might have stayed at the school.

Tatewaki Kuno ran. Now that Akane was able to appreciate men again, it was time for him to
accept her adoration. For how could she resist him now? And once he had captured the maid, he
had parental permission to wed her! "I'm coming my love! Though all the forces of Hell may seek
to bar me!"

Nabiki ran. Or it may be more correct to say that she leapt, and ran, and climbed. She'd changed
from her unflattering and unpractical school uniform to a pair of tight shorts and a tight shirt. She
was also determining that there was a lot of FUN to be had after her transformation. Making
twenty foot leaps, running at speeds well in excess of anything she previously could have attained
on a bicycle, these were all a heady rush of power. Every so often she'd come to a stop, sniff the
air, and listen. Jared would be HER fiance. Or maybe if she could get him over the Akane
obsession, Ranma. She HAD to rescue Akane before any of them or a hentai did since she was
about the only one out there to rescue her sister that wouldn't end up marrying her.

Kasumi stuck close to the priest. Akane would be getting married soon! And then there would be
children, and Akane would get over her little mental aberrations.

The priest asked for the fortieth time where the sake was.

Soun cried. His little girl was getting married! (Happy tears!) His middle daughter was a catgirl!
(Sad tears!) His eldest daughter had hidden the sake! (Despairing tears!) His old buddy had gotten
the job as Town Drunk! (Envious tears!) And Soun himself had gotten a job as a Saddletramp but
apparently it was only a few hours a week and didn't carry nearly the benefits. (Ambivalent tears!)

The horde of hormone crazed boys were each convinced of a single thing: only himself was
allowed to approach the beautiful and delicate (if insane and weird) Akane Tendo. Each individual
was convinced that he was capable of taming that shrew, of returning her to normality, and that he
alone was capable of keeping up. Everyone knew that violent girls were really really passionate in
bed. Or at least that was what Daisuke had said before his "accident". Each had an image of the
smiling bride beside him, and most had the idea of screwing her brains out as a method of
returning her to normal. That this wouldn't work had absolutely no impact on them, after all. They
were teenagers.

Ryoga Hibiki scratched his head and wondered where the heck he was and since when was there a
desert in Japan?

Plenty Bull... well, he didn't run. He *couldn't* run. If he wasn't darker skinned and hairier, he
would have been mistaken for some guy named Umibozu or "Falco" - he had trouble fitting
through doorways, and trying to get him inside a little Japanese car was futile. So Plenty Bull
lumbered through the Ranch area, as quickly as a nine foot tall, six foot wide, heavily muscled mix
of Ainu and Amerind (Comanche) boy could. He knew that Akane was just the sort of girl he
needed. Nice, cute, fairly intelligent... and she was tough enough that if he hugged her she
wouldn't go squish. (Something that figured in his nightmares regularly.) And while he was nearly
terminally shy, Plenty Bull was also the affectionate sort and could picture lumbering off into the
sunset with his wife (sitting on one shoulder).

Chaos, by its nature, does not require a recipe. All one needs are the ingredients, which were in
place.

---------

"...Do you, Black Bart - Heir to Old West School Of Martial Arts Villainry, swear on your
larcenous and scoundralous heart to take this here woman as your lawfully wedded wife. To slap
your brand on here filly. To have and hold her, to dominate her in a proper manner, and to..."

"Yes, yes, I do and all that." Black Bart twiddled one end of his moustache.

"And do you, Akane Tendo, take this scalliwag to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and
to hold, in sickness and in health, to obey and follow his villainous orders, to be loyal unto him
above all others..."

*Ding Dong!*

More than a few wondered when the proprietor of the Acme Warehouse had installed a doorbell.

The Dozen Thieves looked up from their ambush positions. Standing behind the half built wall of
barrels his station would be concealed behind and where he was to man the trap door lever,
Wyoming leaned out and hissed. "Could be we got a hero coming!"

Black Bart straighten up from where he'd been going over the ceremony with the Justice of the
Peace who was going to hitch him and the damsel in distress. "Couldn't be." He remarked,
twirling his mustache for effect and glancing from a clock to where half of his Dozen Thieves
were still assembling the Great and Triumphant Final Trap and Escape Route where he and his
new bride would be whisked away simultaneous as the party of rescuers were dropped in a pit of
crocodiles. "It's still *far* too early. Have them wait and come in later."

The door to the hideaway cracked open and a black, ten gallon hat obscuring all features the
scruffy beard didn't poked in. "Scuse me, have I got the right place? I'm with Masterminds
Quarterly, and we're doing a survey of all of the unrecognized geniuses in villainry." The hat
(presumably attached to a man, though it was hard to tell as with beard, hat and chaps it was
impossible even to tell what color shirt he was wearing, or if he was wearing) moseyed on into the
hideout. "Are you Black Bart? Well, iffn you are yer in luck, as you're the top of our list! Could
you take a moment out of your devious and poorly-recognized schemes to grant a small interview
for our readers?"

The master villain stroked his long mustache thoughtfully while his damsel in distress struggled
against her bonds. "Mmrff!" Keeping in mind that she likely knew the Old West Style of Martial
Arts Special Manuever "Call In The Calvary" or something similar, and that her strength was
considerable, she had first been wrapped in a thick rope (using the Old West Villainry Rope
Technique - Distressed Damsel slipknot), then a set of chains, gagged, and finally the whole mass
had been tethered to a support beam.

The stranger pulled a list out of where hat met chaps. "We've got a list here of all the stages worth
holdin' up, trains worth robbin', and cattle what needs rustling in your area for the next year, as
compensation iffn y'all is interested. 'Course iffn you've got other tastes we can send more'n a few
lowbrow scoundrels who're lookin fer a good leader yer way as henchfolk."

Black Bart tossed an elegant eyelash upward in a refined gesture of villainy. "You wouldn't, by
any chance, happen to be here to rescue this maiden, would you?"

The black hat shook calmly back and forth. "Nope, and I ain't lying neither." The hat was removed
and held over the heart to reveal a much shorter individual still hid behind a beard and scruffy hair.
"It'd be against The Code of The West."

Several henchpeople held their hats over their hearts in a similar gesture of respect to the phrase.
Black Bart himself touched his heart and looked skyward a moment, while Akane still struggled
and bounced by the spot she lay bound.

"'Sides," the ten gallon hat got replaced, again concealing all trace of a head. "I see ya'll got a
weddin' going on and wouldn't want ta interrupt."

Black Bart nodded. "Yes, well, I've taken a fancy to the young thing here. 'Sides it's proper
villainry to take her off to her honeymoon while the heroes are facing my deathtraps."

Akane had stiffened in fright, and now resumed wildly thrashing while the figure of Sancho Pablo
Juan Enrique Martinez Esteban Villalobo III (also known as Oregon) stood nearby practicing a
high-squeaky imitation of her voice saying "I do."

The ten gallon hat over a pair of ridiculously high chaps moseyed on over and sat on the maid in
question, producing a notebook and stylus. "So, like was sayin', ain't no way *I'm* gunna rescue
her. So why don't y'all tell me about some o yer nepharious deeds?"

"Hey, boss?" California pointed out, shoving a finger in the stranger's direction. "A piece of paper
dropped out of his pocket right where the girl can see it!"

"True enough." The stranger allowed, moving slightly so as not to be suspect or in the way as
Black Bart snagged the offending slip of paper.

The villain read it and waved it about. "So what does, 'Spirit Ward, Yes or No' mean?" He
glanced down and frowned to see his victim still rapidly nodding.

The stranger was unmoved and stoic. "Left over from an interview I had just yesterday with an
evil necromancer. Wanted to know if these here thangs would stop the undead and what to do
about 'em iffn they did. See these?" A slip of paper was pulled out of that mystifying zone
between hat and chaps, then a hand smoothed the ward across its own hat in the general vicinity
of where a forehead should be. "Can be a big problem with magical villains, heroes carryin 'em
everywhere they go and putting ta stop months of work. No harm to 'em iffn ya got no curses er
spells fer 'em ta unravel. See?" The same hand slapped a second one onto Oregon's face. "Y'all
there have any mysterious need ta do good er repent o yer wicked ways?"

Oregon frantically shook his head, and the stranger calmly pulled the ward off again. "See? And
they come right off as well. Ain't no more harm to em than that is what I was sayin', lest yer a
necromancer."

"Evil Necromancer?" Black Bart grinned. "That wouldn't happen to be Haiti Largo, would it?"

The hat nodded.

"Well, if'n you see 'im again, tell him old Bart says howdy!" Black Bart tipped his hat,
considerably more at ease now. "That old voodoo hoodoo ain't done an honest lick a' work in his
life. An inspiration, he is."

The stranger stood up again and pocketed the notebook, accidentally spilling half a hundred of the
wards out of his pocket in the process. "Ooops. Well, no one oughta notice the mess. Look here,
yer a busy villain and here I is interrupting a good clean plot with mah ceaseless prattle. I'll come
back when y'all've got them heroes in the dungeon and can tell me of yer success."

And with that, the stranger moseyed on out of their lives, with the deed to Akane's ranch in his
pocket. Akane was now struggling frantically not to be noticed as she attempted to wiggle so she
could slam her head down onto one of those wards.

Black Bart sighed deeply. "Oregon. Start sweeping up all this trash. If there's one thing I can't
abide, it's a villainous lair that looks more like a pig sty."

*SHING!*

A single weapon slammed down from the shadows, cutting through a loop of rope. Akane spit the
gag out without hesitation and called out a quick spell.
"Allies come ye to my side,
Now tis time to turn the tide!"

"Oregon, replace her gag," ordered Black Bart, then whirled about as...

a calvary bugle could be heard in the distance.

Then a figure, masked and dressed entirely in black, dropped from the rafters.

-----------

Jared sat back with a smirk, waiting for Akane to wander in after having freed herself.

He *hadn't* expected this!

Akane was rather groggy and so the handsome bishonen started explaining what had happened.

The young hero type (dressed in a similar manner to Zorro) had come to the Ranch because of a
letter sent by Akane last week. He had followed a suspicious looking character to the warehouse,
then attacked when it was obvious that these were indeed villains.

A fight had broken out while the Calvary rode in, and when those worthies joined in it became a
general brawl. Especially as Plenty Bull, Tatewaki Kuno, and a number of hentai boys had
apparently also found the warehouse at that time.

Apparently Akane had still been wrapped in ropes and chains when a five hundred pound barrel of
"Old Fireball" brand whiskey had been knocked down onto her. It had travelled a good twelve
feet in its fall, with predictable results.

The damsel had found herself flattened and drenched in a sort of "whiskey" that made a darn good paint remover. Then she'd rolled, still encased in ropes and chains, into the alligator infested pit. Many of said alligators having died just from the fumes coming off Akane at that point.

"OoooOOOO. Gimmeee a Coney Island special, Ed. i'm having a baaaaaad day," announced
Akane.

Soun approached his daughter, and absent-mindedly lit a cigarette.

*BOOOM!*

The Zorro bishonen stepped over to Akane and kindly patted out the fire in her hair before
everyone realized that the priest was asking him a question.

The fellow blinked. "Yes?"

"In the power invested by me by the Japanese Government, I now pronounce you man and wife.
You may kiss the bride and someone can show me where the sake is!"

Having placed the bishonen's voice, Jared twitched briefly. "Uhm... would you excuse me?"
*snicker* *snort*

"...what?!..." Zorro seemed befuddled.

"I'm counting on you to take care of my little girl!" Soun clasped the dark-clad fellow's shoulders briefly.

"...b-b-b-b-but..." Zorro stammered.

"Oh my! How nice." Kasumi nodded. Now her sister would have plenty of children. Seven or
eight ought to do it.

"...b-b-b-but..." Zorro looked at Akane (still smouldering and comatose) then helplessly around. "But I'm just here because..."

"There's a problem with that," Jared pointed out, trying not to laugh. "Can Akane marry another
girl?"

Soun stopped cavorting. Kasumi's smile froze. Jared took one look at Soun's face and had to
excuse himself so he could go have a good laugh.

"How'd you know?" Ukyo asked.

"...i'm sorry Mako-chan but in my last life i adopted you as my daughter and it's difficult for me to think of you as a girlfriend..."

Kasumi considered fainting. Soun began bawling about his daughter being a pervert. Ukyo
sweatdropped.

"Okay, I now pronounce *you* husband and wife."

"Stupid drunk priest! Does Shampoo *look* like anyone's husband?"

"BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!" Jared fell over, having realized that the inebriated priest had just
married (still out of it) Akane to both (in denial) Ukyo and (distinctly unhappy) Shampoo.

Which was when Plenty Bull, Tatewaki Kuno, a hentai horde, and Hikaru Gosunkugi arrived on
the scene.

"There she is!" The horde descended on Akane, a pair of hands (Tatewaki's) lifted the fair maid to
safety.

*RRRRRIIIPPPPP! THUD!*

Tatewaki held Akane's schooldress in his hands where the fabric had given way under way too
many assaults lately. Neither the bra or panties had fared well either, the caustic solution of
moonshine combined with shards of wood, attacking alligators, and the sudden firebomb caused
by the remaining fumes of alcohol had taken their cumulative toll.

Twelve of the horde fainted dead away with massive nosebleeds fountaining outward as they saw
Akane lying on the grass. Wearing a few cuts and bruises, some burns and the bits of Kasumi's
makeover that had not been removable within that short timeframe. And with the disintegrating
pieces of what had once been lingerie lying nearby, many of them were getting their first view of
the human female anatomy that was not found solely in a textbook or ecchi magazine.

Tatewaki seemed to have become petrified.

Jared stuck his head up, then felt momentary nausea upon seeing a naked Akane, then started
laughing again when it became apparent that nobody present really knew what to do.

"Errrr. Mouth to mouth?" One of the boys suggested, which caused ANOTHER fight to develop
as the decision as to who would do this came to mind.

"Unnnnnn." Plenty Bull merely looked acutely embarassed and pulled off his shirt to cover Akane
with. He ignored the attacks of the Blue Thunder among others. Heck, he'd gotten worse from his
mother when he had stolen a few cookies from the jar.

"...if you have any feelings for me, you will not make me eat sashimi..." Akane mumbled.

Soun went to Demon Head, but was knocked unconscious by a flying Kuno. (Plenty Bull had
finally decided that his knees had taken enough beatings today.)

Hikaru Gosunkugi, unnoticed during all this, took the opportunity. Also a long nail, a mallet, a
straw doll and a spirit ward.

*WHAM!*

"Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Akane shrieked, a spirit ward slammed onto her forehead and a straw
doll being nailed onto her chest.

*WHAM!* Gosunkugi winced as he hammered the nail home. ~She isn't supposed to be
screaming is she?~

A silver winged shape erupted from Akane's forehead and was lost to the sky in an eyeblink.

Akane continued to scream, having two inches of nail imbedded in her chest, and being naked
underneath a shirt that hadn't been washed in at least a week. Having somehow appeared here
after just resting her eyes for a moment in the furo.

Can you blame her?

-----------

Asgard:

"We've got a trace," Ami said, brushing hair out of her eyes.

"Looks like he was there in that AK-RN line and now he's in there. Got it!" Setsuna nodded.
"Unfortunately, it appears there was another problem. Looks like his identity is submerged."

"Well, we can at least get a lock on. Now all we need to do is figure out how to get him out."
Celeste leaned back in her chair. "This'll go a *lot* easier."

----------


Usagi shook her head. Something had suddenly caused her to get this curious dislocation feeling.

"Usagi, Usagi... Come in, Usagi!"

Usagi noted idly that her watch was talking to her. Remembering that it was a communicator
watch, she finally flipped it open, to see Ami's face on it. "Ami-chan?!" Usagi looked from the
Ami in the sidelines to the Ami in the watch-face. "What the ?!"

"Usagi, please listen. You're in a dimension that's close to your homeplane. Grey's also there but
somehow he got submerged in the identity of the one who's native to that plane. I'm guessing that
it is because of strong emotion or strong drives in the native. You've awakened because he's met
you again anyway."

Usagi looked around. "I know this place. This is the Tenkaibudokai. The 'World's Strongest Man'
Competition. I've fought here before. And this is... everything's a little different."

"What can you tell me about your surroundings? It may be important!"

Usagi nodded with an "unn" sound. "I'm at the Tenkai platform, near the sidelines. The priests are
replacing some of the tiles out on the arena area."

"Got that. The Tenkai competition is a round robin fighting competition, the winner from one
fight going on to fighting the winner of another match. Single combat. What else?"

"I remember this fight. Piccolo was ready to conquer the world. I'd just been trained by Endymion
and reunited with my friends. Rei-chan had just beaten this cyborg guy named Count Pai Pai.
Then I got into some fight with a guy I didn't know, but I beat him pretty easy and never did find
out why he was angry with me. It was... strange." Usagi glanced up at Endymion's younger evil
twin Piccolo.

"Hmmm. You're not in your own past, so you don't have to worry about paradox."

"I wasn't," Usagi assured the other Ami, not having any idea what a paradox was.

"Excuse me," an announcer beckoned to Usagi, "you're up next, miss."

Usagi took her place at the end of the platform, the angry-looking guy taking the other side.

Priests began playing their drums, a slow beat gradually increasing in pace.

Usagi blinked. Was he actually growling?

"ANNOYING!" The boy said staring directly at her.

"Huh?" Usagi didn't understand it *this* time either. Things were subtly different, the crowd and
all, but some things were going *exactly* how she remembered it.

"You are so bloody annoying!"

"Excuse me, what's your problem?" Usagi was aware she was repeating herself from that previous
time but wasn't sure what else she could do.

"Forgetting me, forgetting your promise, you are *so annoying!*"

Usagi blinked at that but started checking out the guy's chi, instead of what she'd done the last
time which had been to ask if this guy knew her. It was stronger than she expected, but there was
a pattern there that looked like... "GREY!"

"Is that someone else you've dumped?" The boy seemed to calm for a moment. "And your
promise?"

"What promise?" As soon as she saw the anger return, doubled, Usagi knew she'd said the wrong
thing.

There was muttering from the Kamesennin and Ami, with an "Aha!" from Oolong as he figured
something out.

"Oh well, no point in holding off," the announcer finally declared. "In this corner... oh, hey, I
wasn't finished!"

Grey launched himself across at Usagi, lashing out with a rapid strike technique. Usagi, of course,
dodged all of it.

"What are you so mad about?!" Usagi squealed. This was *still* going exactly how she
remembered it.

Grey threw a flying spinkick, reversed direction with an elbow spike, then went back to using the
rapid-strike technique.

Usagi didn't bother to block. A normal person wouldn't have been able to see all the punches
heading her way. Usagi dodged as if they were in slow motion. Of course, to her, they were.
Finally she had been cornered on one edge of the stage, so she leapt and flipped over Grey,
wondering why this all had to go like the first time. In a minute she'd tire of this, casually
backhand him into the stands. Then he'd vanish and she wouldn't see him again.

Again the boy came charging forward. "You annoying... fight me if you won't keep your
promise!"

"But I don't know what you're talking about," wailed Usagi, dodging a knee strike, another
barrage of rapid punches, an attempted legsweep and a hand-spear thrust.

"GIRLS! You make promises you have no intention of keeping! You just flirt with whoever you
like and leave broken hearts behind you!"

Usagi dodged a long series of chained roundhouse kicks, flipped backwards and then to the side
to avoid a flying dragon stamp. "But... waitaminute! If you'd just *tell* me..."

Rei from the sidelines was saying something about men who couldn't take a hint and staying
dumped. Lita pointed out that it wasn't a problem any of *them* had had before.

"This seems more than the usual grudge match," said the announcer, still holding the microphone.

"Can words explain ten *wasted* years? Can words heal ten years I've waited for you to keep
your promise?!" Grey launched another long set of attacks that came within inches of Usagi all the
way.

Usagi leapt up, just as she had the last time, reaching the same height she had during the last
battle. "But I don't understand!"

"Why do you torment me like this?!" Grey leapt up four stories and flipped at the apex to intersect
Usagi's course. Again she dodged a long series of punches and kicks.

"But..." Usagi thought about it, and decided on a course of action. They landed a few feet apart,
Grey breathing hard and absently wiping sweat off his forehead.

"And what of your desire to be a bride?" Grey snarled.

Usagi knew from the last time, but this time actively decided to follow the pattern, as it had
actually calmed him momentarily during the original fight. "Rei! What's a 'bride'?!"

A large number of people, including her opponent, fell over in shock.

"A bride means a girl who has been married," Rei shouted from the sidelines.

"Oh, you mean like 'boyfriend-girlfriend' or something?" Usagi nodded. "That's not so bad."

"No, not just that, it's more of a commitment!" Makoto yelled, having shoved Rei out of the way.
"A married couple is committed to one another exclusively. They stay together, support each
other, raise a family." Makoto's eyes were sparkling by the end of her speech.

"But what and why? And..."

"So... defeat me, and I'll tell you."

Usagi smiled. Finally events had diverged! Previously she had said that she wouldn't marry some
idiot guy like that when she had her Mamo-chan! Her opponent had gotten even angrier, launched
an all out attack, and she'd launched him into the stands. Now, answers!

Grey went into a modified cat stance, ready to block and counterattack the moment Usagi made a
move. Or so he thought.

Usagi simply raised a thin thread of chi, and threw a punch from fifteen feet away. The wind
swept her opponent off his feet and flung him off the stage. She crossed the battlefield, crouched
on the edge and regarded him as he got up. "Are you okay?"

Grey rubbed his head. "Owie. Still, you're as good as you were back then."

"So you'll tell me now?" Usagi was eager, this would get a mystery of her own past resolved.

Rubbing his head and returning to irritated, the boy nodded. "Tsue."

"TSUE!" Makoto, Minako, Rei, and Usagi exclaimed. Similar exclamations were coming from
Ami and the Kamesennin. "So that's it!"

"Tsue?!" Usagi held her hand knee high, remembering the little tool using prince she'd briefly
known when they were both kids. The son of the Ox King. "You're little Tsue-chan?!"

Tsue reminded Usagi of riding Kinton cloud, how she'd grabbed his crotch and exclaimed that as
she'd thought, he was a boy. And of later how she'd said they ought to get together and that he
was a lot of fun. And since he was learning to cook, maybe she'd keep him around so he could
cook for her always...

"But that isn't what I meant!!" Usagi felt *very* guilty all of a sudden. Had the Tsue in her
world... but he must have, and that meant... Oh dear.

"So you say now."

"It would have been criminal to make a promise like that without intending to follow through,"
Usagi said, her thoughts whirring.

"What? Criminal?" Tsue faltered. "Then, then, you really didn't..."

"Well that being the case. Promises are important. So..." Usagi thought for a moment more. She
*had* really liked Tsue. "So when's the wedding?"

"Aa?!" Tsue blinked... "you... YES!!"

As the two hugged and the audience cheered, the announcer got the last word. "Everyone! A
first! A first! This the first time for a grudge to be settled like *this* here!"

----------

The air shimmered and Grey stepped out alongside Usagi. Usagi briefly kissed his cheek, then ran
off. Ami watched curiously for a moment before Grey rejoined her.

"Where did Usagi go?" Ami asked finally.

"She realized that back in her homeworld, *her* Tsue may still be waiting for her to fulfill a
promise." Grey said, his own eyes flicking to where the Sailorjin had exited. "She has to go back
and find out. To honor a pre-existing promise if it is so..."

Ami nodded and wished Usagi well. "Where next?"

"Now i try to get on with that Third Labor. It shouldn't take long." Grey sighed. This hadn't gone
*nearly* the way he wanted.

"Was that thunder?" Ami looked to the skies.

"Probably just Thor again," Grey grabbed his pack and sauntered for the gate. "If i wait, i'm sure
the gremlins will muck this attempt up too."


===========

the scene with Rigel and Wisp was to establish what others were doing during all this.

for the gamers:
Rigel Maerklos (hm, LN(G), hp 39, Psionicist 8, Telepathy (primary), Psychometabolism
(2ndry).) As a son of the noble family Maerklos in Waterdeep, is expected to use his talents to
further the family causes before all. A disappointment to many in his family due to the utter lack
of skill with magic. A fairly powerful telepath, however, is deemed useful by the remainder of his
family.
Wispara Deunana (ef, NG(L), hp 36, Fighter 6/Thief 7) once a bitter and lonely outcast, who was
the target of a mindlink from Rigel when his adventuring group was surrounded by evil drow. In a
moment of mental contact, each found in the other a soulmate. Wisp accompanied the group back
to Waterdeep and was immediately the center of a scandal. She is often referred to as Rigel's
shadow- so closely does she stick to him. The scandal is largely the result of the interracial nature
of the pairing. Some of Rigel's family approve (his Uncle Reim heartily approves and sees the two
as a reflection of a brief love he'd had in his youth) while others such as his mother quite
disapprove. Wispara doesn't give a flying pig about her own family though the priestesses of the
Undercity (Eilestraee) seem divided on this matter themselves. In both cases "racial purity" and
the subject of children figure heavily.

Akumakun was done by the same person as GeGeGe No Kitaro. There is a definite resemblence
between Komorineko (BatCat) and Genma- in personality. Tarume (i think) is the pudgy green
thing with beagle ears and dozens of eyes, also gullibility factor 9. Padju (?) is a big flying
rutabaga with windows. It's *not* a series i'd expect to come across the pond. Despite one noted
writer's comments, there were *no* plans for Ranma to fall in Spring Of Drowned Green-haired
Winged Wind Princess. THAT would have predictable and unimaginative - one might as well
write Akane + Ranma matchups.

Which curse to remove from Ranma? The votes were: Catfist 8, Genma's Influence 6, Jusenkyo 2,
Temple Theft 2.

Votes for when Grey gets into the timeline: 1640 AD - 6, 774 AD - 7, 100 AD - 3, 1500 BC - 3,
150,000 BC - 4, age of dinosaurs - 4.

==========