Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Third Labor (Forward to the past) ❯ Meanwhile Back At The Ranch ( Chapter 9 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Third Labor chapter 9
"Meanwhile Back At The Ranch"

WHAT'S TRANSPIRED: Grey & Ami set out to accomplish Grey's third labor- correction of a
timeline that had been altered by both the forces of Hell and the Knights of The True Continuua.
They got sidetracked. Not once but several times. The fiancees/wives scattered, Grey's attempts
to correct things were put further on hiatus by his "quantum leap" into a recently drowned Akane
Tendo where he's become "stuck." Determined to make the best of a bad situation, "Akane" has
become the star pupil of Kreiger in Martial Arts Ranching and is unaware of the plots and plans of
the Indian Wrestling sensei Sitting Pretty, or of Kasumi's plans, or of who this extra Ranma is.
She also has (from previous incarnations/analogues) the spellcasting abilities of a cleric
(Frostbite), the knowledge of a variant of Ranma (Amazon wu shu and Anything Goes), some
weapon and combat skills (incl the "Whatever Works style of Engineering Martial Arts") from the
identity of Grey. Meanwhile the identities of several other Aspects have gathered in the
marionette known as Ginseng.

Jared (Pheonix Mage) Saotome is fleeing some well intentioned but not really competent (and in
some cases sadistic) nurses and has been hidden in the shape of "a" Ranma. Ranma-n (native) and
Genma have been glamouried to believe that Ranma-Jared (Ranma-j) is actually Ranma's twin.
However, having seen the power of the Martial Arts Ranching (a subdiscipline within Martial Arts
Old West) - particularly the warpspace technique of "Little Homestead On The Prairie" - both
Ranmas are currently interested in learning more.

Oh, and a certain panda has gotten hogtied and branded.

--------------------

Looking out into the dark where a huge warrior had vanished, Kreiger blinked a couple of times.
"Oh well, Akane, it's getting late."

"Yeh, ah better mosey on home 'afore my folks git all worrisome." Akane picked up her hat and
cocked it at a rakish angle. "Say there, young ladies. Y'all welcome to stay out here if'n you like."

"How was this place constructed anyway," the elven looking version of Ranma said, looking
about. Even with the current low power level, Jared could tell that folded space was in use.

"Why that's the Master technique of Old West style Martial Arts," said Kreiger with a wink. Then
he nodded proudly towards his newest pupil. "The technique's called 'Little Homestead on the
Prairie'. Akane just learned the Old West manuever called Cattlepunching, so she'll be ready to
learn Cowpoke any day now. At her rate, she might be ready for Mastery in another five years!"

Ranma couldn't keep his mouth shut. "Bet I could learn it in a week."

Akane had been holding herself up a little straighter at the praise, then slumped and gave a dirty
look to Ranma at the comment.

"What are those other manuevers," Jared asked, curious and not really wanting to see yet another
Akane vs Ranma fight.

"Cattlepunching is a massive powerpunch, one blow can stop a raging bull. Cowpoke is both a
speed and strength training technique." Kreiger turned his attention to Akane. "The training must
be accomplished at night, Akane. You must come back when the herd's asleep and be able to push
over a cow with one hand."

"'Cow-tipping?'" Jared wasn't sure she had heard right, then she understood. "I get it. Strength
technique because you have to be able to push over a steer with one hand, concentrating more
and more strength until you've done it. Speed because when the bull's woke up you've got to get
out of the pasture before you get trompled or gored."

Kreiger tipped his hat. "You've got it one, miss. Not bad."

"See y'all tomorrow then," said Akane, wheeling her horse up and around.

"That's not a real horse," Ranma-j said, the feeling that something was wrong about Akane's horse
finally going click.

"Sadly, no," agreed Kreiger. "We only got a couple of horses around to spare, and Akane said she
didn't feel right about putting nobody out 'cause she needed something to ride. Well, that young
filly done put together a shop in that there shed, then she pulled an all nighter and darn if she
hadn't *built* herself that horse."

Jared's eyes widened and she *almost* charged into the indicated building. Only the certain
knowledge that there would be some sort of anti-theft/anti-tampering device prevented her.
"Uhm, I don't suppose she left you a key."

"Yup, but she be back tomorrow after school. Think she'd be right happy to give ya a look."
Kreiger seemed to consider the two briefly, then went back to checking the fire.

---------

"Howdy, Kasumi," Akane took off her hat and bowed respectfully, the cowboy boots were put
aside a moment later and the slippers/uwabaki were donned. "Brought y'all a little something."

"Oh, what?"

"Ah had a chance to do some cookin', ran into some folks who was lost, and got 'em settled in up
at the Ranch." Akane handed a large iron kettle with a lid to her sister who eyed it uncertainly.

Nabiki stared a moment too. "You cooked?"

"Well sure. Mind ya, it ain't nothing fancy. Just a beef stew." Akane shrugged. "Y'all know ah
don't care fer beef meself, and even with two of them eatin' like that, they didn't finish it.
Landsakes they must have been starvin' to put away that much."

"Errr. And they're OK?" Nabiki continued to eye the kettle as if she expected tentacles to shove
aside the lid and start groping around.

"Why, sure. Say, Nabiki-CHAN, i think y'all could probably help me with it."

"Nononononono!" Nabiki backed away, shaking her head.

Kasumi set the container down, opened the lid, and took a deep breath of the odors. Then,
puzzled, sniffed at it again. Taking a spoon she scooped a little of the still-warm mixture up.

Nabiki saw this and almost panicked. "No, Kasumi! You'll die! Errr." The hurt look on Akane's
face was horrible to see. "Uhm, wait Akane, I didn't mean."

Kasumi's eyes got large. "Akane! This... this is good."

"Well, it ain't nothing on your cooking, oneechan!" Akane acknowledged the braver of her two
sisters.

Nabiki tried it and stared anew at her sister. Akane had cooked. It was not only edible, but fairly
tasty. Probably be decent as a rice topping. "Akane, YOU made this."

"Yeah," Akane looked sad for a moment. "Oh well, ah might've made a couple more friends
today. Have to go back to the Ranch tomorrow after school and see how they's doing."

"Don't forget you've got to go with me to the doctor tomorrow, Akane," Kasumi spent a few
moments staring at the kettle of stew then back to her sister.

"Yup, that's right. Okay, AFTER we visit the sawbones." Akane nodded. "Gonna use the furo
now, sis. It's been a long ride on a dusty trail today, y'hear?"

Nabiki waited for Akane to get out of sight. "Sis. She cooked! And it's not making me sick! What
does this mean?"

"That Akane may be having these mental problems, but they're not entirely bad?" Kasumi frowned
ever so slightly. "We'll see what the nice Doctor says tomorrow, ne, Nabiki?"

---------

Ranma-chan for once was feeling a little intimidated.

No sooner was it determined they were going to stay the night than her more attractive twin had
set out with an empty pail and come back with it full of frothy milk. This had been worth some
amount of drool on Ranma's part. But instead of drinking it her twin had poured it into this
wooden bucket-thingy with a pole sticking out of it and began plunging away.

Kreiger had put his boots up and watched this with an eye of fascination as the girl had churned
butter, ground wheat, baked a few loaves of bread (somehow acquiring a long dress with a hoop
skirt, apron, gloves and western bonnet in the middle of this) and was now making soap out of
grease left over from cooking and ashes from the fire, pouring the mix in a mold and setting it up
on a shelf out of the way to set.

The old rancher just played with his mustache and nodded.

Jared sat down, smoothed her skirts, and began to card wool.

Kreiger just kept nodding to himself all the while.

Ranma-chan was feeling mystified. Breaking stuff she could handle, this was something else, and
it felt like it was WAY outta her league. Jared broke into her train of thoughts. "Ranma, this is
why it was once said: A woman's work is never done. She has to keep the entire family fed and
clothed, and make most of her own tools and ingredients from scratch. She makes her own lace,
turns wool into cloth then into garments and blankets, makes her own soap for washing, grows
herbs in a garden for flavorings and for medicine..." She leveled her eyes in a challenge to the
other Ranma. "Truly, it is a grueling regimen of strict endurance and toughness training."

Ranma's eye's sparkled in defiance. She pointed a thumb toward her chest. "Oh yeah? I'm ready
for anything!"

~Got ya!~ Blue eyes twinkled merrily. She cocked her head. "Well, evening has set in. What say
we have a cloth making contest?"

Ranma stared at the wide wicker basket full of wool and had doubts. "Uh, okay sure. Um, how do
you, uh..."

Jared-chan checked the room. "Well, we have only one set of carding boards and one spinning
wheel, so instead of a contest how about a game? I'll show you how to card wool, then you see if
you can do that faster than I can spin it. Deal? I'm no expert, but the basics are worth learning.
We'll see if you can stay ahead of me. Loser works the Weasel."

Ranma-chan sweatdropped.

"That thing." Jared pointed to a wooden contraption set up in the corner whose purpose and use
totally mystified Ranma. "Children can do it, you'll be fine. Or maybe I'll be fine if you card faster
than I spin. But you've heard the nusery rhyme: Round and round the mulberry bush the monkey
chased the weasel? That's the weasel they were talking about, and the monkey referred to the
child that would turn it. That song was meant to time their work, and when all ten verses were
done they had a skein of yarn. Now look here, you hold the carding boards so their bristles rub
against each other, with the wool held between. Then with long, smooth strokes you pull the wool
so the fibers all align with each other, like you were brushing hair. It takes some time, but the
better you do it, the smoother the yarn I spin will be. With yarn we can knit it into clothing
directly or spread it on the loom, which is that thing over there, to make cloth like you're more
familiar with, but we'll probably want to dye it first. Mint makes a nice green color."

Ranma moved her chair over and knocked over a thing that looked like a wooden ginger bread
man holding a rope in each hand. Jared looked up. "Oh, Ranma-chan, could you please hang that
on the wall? It really doesn't belong on the table."

The perplexed redhead was staring at it dubiously. "What is it?"

"It's a toy used to teach children how to milk cows. I could show you how to use it."

Kreiger hid a grin and got up to go out, putting on his hat. "I'll go check on the herd. You gals
stay here and make yourselves to home."

-------------

"Why are we doing this?" Ranma-chan asked, as the two girls walked up from the stream bed
holding a wide tub of water between them.

Jared raised her eyes to look at the brightening glow of the sunrise. "Because Ranma, a man can
hold practically everything he needs in his mind except food and pants. Besides, and more to the
point, these are the skills to make something out of nothing, and a man who can do that can never
be poor. Here we have dirt, and water and trees. If we don't know more than Genma or a modern
world teaches us those remain fairly useless, but a little bit of skill makes those into food, warm
homes, furniture, metal, clothing, even decorations and pretty things." She paused and bent down
to scoop up a handful of sand, letting it dribble between their fingers as they walked. "Take this
for an example. What use is sand? Pops would have us train on it, most people would spread a
blanket or a beach umbrella over it. But give me a little fire and this is glass. Glass can be made
into bottles, windows and even musical instruments. A few glass jars and we can preserve food so
that spring berries last us all winter long as jam. A glass window and we have light in our homes
without summer's hot breezes or winter's chill storms. Music makes the days roll spritely by,
gladdening our hearts and making us merry. All from a handful of sand."

The pair of them reached the farmhouse and set down the tub of water. Jared pointed over to a
red hill. "See that rock? There's iron ore in that. That green rock's copper. Over there, if you'll
look down in that valley, that's a hint of coal. If you and I take that dead tree over there I could
make a fire with just a few branches that would start some coal, using coal we'd melt the metals
out of those rocks. using a little more fire we could make anything you could imagine: Copper
cookware, iron stoves, horseshoes, tools and so many things I could scarcely *name* them! The
first CARS were made by blacksmiths pounding metal together, and lightbulbs were fashioned of
a hint of copper, a simple filament, and a bulb of clear, blown glass from a glassblower. There is
scarcely a spot on this earth that doesn't have something a knowledgable person can use to make
wealth, and by that I mean those things that make life easier or worth living." The redhead held
her arms wide and spread them, swinging wide in a circle. "The *entire world* is a place FULL of
those things that a person with knowledge can turn to their benefit and the betterment of others!
How many times did Genma use the excuse that we had nothing as justification for stealing
something? Well, the only excuse for having nothing is knowing nothing. It is a lowly worm that
spins the threads from which we make silk, an ugly rock is polished and cut to make a diamond!"

She stopped spinning and turned to face her twin. "If you know how to make things then you can
lose *everything* and start again! And ranching is one of those areas that teaches you to make
things." She smiled. "Here's a quote I think you'll like: To the extent to which we are dependant
on others for our daily living, is the extent to which we have lost our freedom." She shrugged.
"Good quote. Because if you *have* to have a paycheck to meet your bills then you are a slave to
the one who gives that check. If you lay down a credit card then you are in bondage to that
company until that debt is paid off, because there are choices we can't make until that is done.
Freedom is nothing more than the ability to make your own choices. Do we want to have that
right and then let Genma make them for us?"

Ranma's eyes were so wide it was a wonder she didn't catch bugs in them.

Jared turned away from her and began to fill a water pot from the tub they'd carried. "In ranching
it's women who make the clothes, so for now we'll learn that. Then from that point on if you're
washed up naked on a beach somewhere you can take fiber of any kind and make your tools and
make your cloth and have clothes. As men we'll come back and learn farming, blacksmithing,
carpentry and probably a passel load of other things." She gestured inside with the now full
cooking pot. "I'm going to make soup, we can talk in there. Anyway, in our martial art we learn
to do without the crutch of weapons, using skill to replace the need for them. Well, in ranching
we learn to do without the crutch of things made *for* us, using skill to make our own. What a
wonderful independence that is! Being able to say: I have no need of that from you. Yet knowing
you also won't do without. It brings back the ability to make choices, rather than simply paying
whatever price the vendor asks."

She laughed. "You could go into bondage to get a cooking pot, or simply make your own. It's
that easy, and you'll probably be happier with the one you make because it's YOURS."

-----------

The horse looked up as Akane came out to "feed" the horse in the morning.

"How y'all doing, Fess?"

"Systems operational and values are within tolerable levels. Though the dew makes my skin
itchy."

"Well we can't have that." Akane started sluicing water off the marionette horse's artificial hide.
"You wanna head up to the Ranch for the day, keep an eye on the Ranma Twins?"

"Affirmative, mistress." Fess didn't notice Akane's flinch at that term. "Though earlier you
indicated that there would be only one Ranma."

Akane completely dropped the Western-speak, after all, it was only her and Fess. "Only thing i
can think of is that the original Ranma fell in Spring Of Drowned Girl, then Spring of Drowned
Twins - resulting in nearly identical Ranma twins. Though that *still* doesn't cover all the
questions. Why is one so much better looking? Why does the good looking one have pointed
ears? Where was that flash of demonic presence coming from and how did it manage to hide
again? Why is one Ranma about what i'd expect, and the other seems to have a touch more grace
and speed?"

"Did you use any of your spells?" Fess had trouble with the whole magic concept, but had to
admit that Akane was able to do *something* that did not fit into any other explanation. The very
thought made his central processor hurt.

"Only one. Spellcasting on people without their permission is pretty impolite at the very least. i
used 'Detect Evil' and neither came back as bearing more than normal taint. Though the pretty one
is *carrying* something with a dark aura. Not enough of a reading to indicate more. i had to do it
pretty subtle, if one *had* been a demon then i'd have needed to prepare better to fight it. i still
remember being that cyborg when i fought alongside the Pheonix Mage. Only magic or some
*major* firepower can injure a youma. i tried depleted uranium rounds against a youma and i
might as well have been throwing rocks."

Fess nodded as Akane finished wiping him off. "I shall endeavor to keep an eye on them while you
are at school. If one turns out to be demonic, than I shall inform you."

"Good enough," Akane said, "i'd trade you if i could. Japanese history test today and that's one of
my major problem subjects."

------------

The bishonen lad on the train took the letter out and reread it again. It didn't matter that much, it
had been read so many times that it was practically burned into memory. The black pen marks
were firm and straight, somehow seeming masculine in their structure.


To:Ukyo Kuonji
9-53-104 Shinonome-cho
Izumiootu City, Osaka 595

Please read this letter in its entirity before engaging in rash acts, Kuonji-san.

It has come to my attention that a grievous breach of honor has been used to harm you. A
decade ago, Ranma Saotome was engaged to you without his knowledge.

That's right. Without his knowledge. As a shrine maiden, i understand the importance of
maintaining one's karma. He needs to find a way of making reperations for the tangle of
obligations that his father inflicted upon him.

He is engaged to my eldest sister due to a pre-existing arrangement. Your engagement is also a
concern, as the dowry that his father stole roughly equals the strength of the claim that he should
marry a Tendo. There is one other claimant with a roughly equal claim, and in addition another six
that i have learned of through fire readings.

Even with all my skills in fire reading and speaking with the spirits, i have not found an easy
solution. It is my hope that i can confer with you and the others and find a solution that satisfies
all.

By Tuesday, Ranma and his father will be in Nerima at the Tendo Dojo. Take what vengeance
you will on the guilty, to follow your own karma, but first be certain of who is truly guilty.

Akane Tendo
Tendo dojo
31, Takahashi
Furin-ken, Nerima-shi
Tokyo 260-801

Ukyo fidgeted slightly. Akane Tendo, the shrine maiden. Oh yes, she'd heard of her. Some said
she was mad. Others spoke of a 'divine madness' where she healed the sick with a touch or viewed
the future within the shadows of a flame. It was talked of everywhere. Prior to getting this letter,
she'd thought of visiting anyway. If this Akane could see things like that, maybe she could have
found her targets.

And now, now, she had a chance of closing the circle by this girl's intervention.

Well, shrine priestesses tend to be meek and ladylike, (or so she'd heard) so Ukyo wouldn't do
anything too upsetting where the girl could see.

---------

"Are you sure about this, Great Grandmother?"

"That's what the letter says, and it is certainly *possible*, Shampoo. If it is as this 'Akane Tendo'
says, then your strategy will have to be rethought."

Shampoo frowned then brightened. "Maybe he's better looking than Mousse?"

"Well, we'll see. Fortunately you hadn't left the village for pursuing him when the letter came."
Cologne looked on the city they were approaching and smiled. And if this 'Akane' had *those*
sorts of psychic talents, well, maybe she'd have to make her an honorary Amazon.

There were all kinds of strength, after all.

---------

The crowds avoided Akane. Even boys that were willing to throw themselves onto her fists a
mere two weeks previously were loathe to approach her.

The *old* Akane would have hit them for trying to grab or defeat her. The *old* Akane would
have accepted the idea that one of them beating her then got to date her. The *old* Akane acted
cute and smiled and was a typical cute Japanese girl - but with that fierce and violent nature that
promised she'd be an especially passionate lover.

That Akane had died. Killed, or so Nabiki spun the tale, by their enthusiasm and Kuno's ideas of
the fierce descendent of samurai ancestors that Akane was.

The *new* Akane would... well. Daisuke had groped her, assuming that Akane had been
sufficiently depressed that she wouldn't even notice. The good news was that the surgical
reattachment *had* been successful and Daisuke would not be sterile. The *new* Akane had
threatened to shove a hot branding iron up the butt of the next person who tried something like
that. If it was a bluff, it was a darn good one. The *new* Akane rarely smiled at school and had
an intense air about her. And she was a powerful shrine priestess. One who performed miracles
regularly.

The girls avoided her too. Unless they needed or wanted something. Even then they did not
approach Akane until *after* school. DURING school everyone got the impression of a caged
and restless and not entirely sane tiger.

AFTER hours, well, if she was in Shrine Maiden garb they'd approach her. The Red Rider would
be avoided like the plague.

Akane bided her time, took the damn classes, ignored the idiocy and found herself wondering if
anyone ever expected this stuff to get used in real life. And even after a lifetime *as* a Japanese- a
lot of this kanji still gave the being known as Grey trouble.

Grey wondered *why* he couldn't leap into Dragon Shiryu or Phoenix Ikki or Detonator Orgun
Tomoru or someone whose skills he could use in the upcoming labor. Heck, just someone in the
right timeframe would have been logical. No, he got one of the anime characters he most disliked.
And now he was beginning to suspect that Akane *wasn't* dead- further complicating things.

During lunch, Akane tried a quick spell and confirmed it. Akane had come near death. Another
five seconds of breathing water and she would have drowned. Then Grey had found himself
assuming her form and identity. And more and more of Akane seemed to be awakening but was
held under by Grey's presence. So there was an Akane Tendo slumbering within.

The problem was, what to do. As far as clerical spells went, about the top she could manage was
Abjure. Even if using some form of exorcism, which one would be dispelled? If someone external
could do it, it would likely be Grey. If HE did it, it would likely be Akane. Killing the body was
no longer a consideration because the original Akane may have merely had Rage Disorder or be
something besides an evil psychobitch. Well, that and she'd promised.

This was rather like the time he'd been on a mission in a fusion timeline where the heroes of
"Sailor Moon" had been up against the villains of "Saint Saeya." Usagi hadn't lasted long at all.
The feeling of helplessness was similar, though it seemed unlikely that he'd have to go around
burying friends. Grey hoped.

He'd died at least ten times on that timeline. If it were possible to will the Binding over to
someone else so that they would resurrect instead of him, it would have happened there. There
were nights he could close his eyes and still see... Akane shuddered. She expected that memory to
be one of those that would become erased by the Binding to keep the madness at bay.

Now as Akane, she was trying to learn skills that would be useful in the Labor (providing he
could ever reach it). The Old West style of Martial Arts had several special manuevers that would
be *incredibly* useful in Colonial America. "Boom Town" allowed buildings to be erected
overnight (though they'd fall apart within a few years), "Infinite Six Gun" could... well maybe it
could be adapted to muzzleloaders.

Once adapted to the idea of being stuck here, doing something to at least prepare for rescue had
seemed logical. Hence the marionette workshop and Martial Arts Ranching and attempting to
research the period. Though the Furinkan Library had darn little that dealt with American History,
and what little she could find was likely skewed by the alterations in timelines.

Akane rubbed her forehead. This hurt. Heck, even that test on the Reformation period was
looking better than this.

----------

"I don't get it. WHY do we have to remain GIRLS!" Ranma was getting disgusted with all this,
though he had to admit that on some level he would find it difficult to listen to his father talk
about women being weak or pathetic. Keeping house was HARD WORK.

"First, this is the Rocking Fist Ranch. Built as a dojo for practicing all manner of Old West
Martial Arts. No modern plumbing. Effort to duration equation states that it's not worth it to cart
the water, heat it on a fire, use that, then get splashed. This is Nerima. And, as I've told you
repeatedly, DON'T MAKE THE CURSE OBVIOUS!! If caught in a situation where you are one
gender, stay that gender until you can leave, then do the switch out of possible sight."

"Yeah well..." Ranma grumbled.

"Because of it's very unusualness, people won't naturally assume what is happening unless you
grind their faces in it, and here's the clincher - then they will pity you."

Ranma frowned. Pity wasn't something he was familiar with or wanted.

"Consider it an exercise in Martial Arts Self Control. You did a ton of other things that were
unpleasant or even downright nasty, and lived through them for training. This is no different. Until
it can be totally resolved, the harder you fight, the worse it will hurt. So the hard thing to do is
actually let it happen without struggling, but to control it at the same time. Think for a minute
about fighting the rush of a river. Even if you beat it for a few minutes or even hours, the river
doesn't ever tire and will soon dash you on the rocks and snares downstream. But if you ride with
it you can get moments of rest and use your strength to choose your path around the dangers. The
Curse has too much energy for us to will it not to change us, but by accepting that and riding
instead of fighting that power, we can help keep it from changing our lives or destroying us."

Jared gave Ranma a searching look. "Can you understand that? View it like a battle. We can't beat
this right now, so we'll train until we CAN. Until then we just do the best we can to minimize the
damage."

"Yeah. But I still don't like it." Ranma grumbled and looked to where his baka oyaji was heating
some water.

"Oh, on *that* we can quite agree."

----------

Sabre Marionette Timeline:

Ginseng had thrown herself into developing techniques on accelerating fetal development,
artificial wombs and birth creches. She'd redesigned marionette ligaments and muscle cables.
She'd pulled up new designs for artificial hearts and lungs encountered in previous lives and did
everything else she could think of. One of which had increased the efficiency of marionette
construction so that a basic unit with a fairly sophisticated neural network (able to perform fairly
complex commands and interpret involved commands) could be popped out of the factory every
half hour.

The kids were the real time consumer. After one month, over thirty girls had been born using the
new creche. While some were going to be small and frail, the process would be perfected in future
births. Of that thirty, twelve had skin the color of milk chocolate, white hair, amber eyes, and
lightly pointed ears. Another forty were planned for later.

The first such one, a little baby who had learned to gurgle a giggle and tugged at Gennai's beard
constantly, was named Chocolatte (with two T's and pronounced as if it were a French word) had
become everyone's darling almost immediately.

Ginseng expected Jared to pop a blood vessel on seeing dozens of drow girls laughing and playing
underfoot. If he returned.

She'd run into the followers of Eilistraee before, and the basic concepts that she knew were
transferred to computer files. Not her choice, but it was better than some of the alternatives. She'd
build a temple/gym later.

It was better than focussing on your current appearance.

It was better than acknowledging that by some weird twist of spell or technology that you were
now a completely biological human woman, and just happened to be a dead ringer for a walking
disaster area named Mihoshi.

It was even worse to hear people talking about "biological duty."

Yes, far better to concentrate on work.

-------------

Jared found her way into the workshop, with Kreiger watching, and immediately gestured to keep
Ranma silent. Suspicions formed instantly.

Everything was constructed of native materials, which meant roughhewn wooden tables, troughs
made of hammered metal plates, and three Mac computers cobbled together into a strange mass.
There were wires and scrapped parts from a dozen sources.

Jared had learned enough about marionette construction to divine most of the purposes, but her
attention was really riveted by the two costumes hanging from pegs. One was a *very* ersatz
Sailor Mars suit, one that incorporated karate gear into it. The second was a replica of a
Devilhunter Yohko costume.

Jared looked around the equipment and further noted an attempt to build an electronic doorframe.
And that! That looked like the beginnings of some Knight Sabre-like powerarmor. Though the
yen symbols were definitely NOT what he expected. "Akane built all this?"

"Yup," indicated Kreiger. "Akane said something about needing this space away from her home as
her family getting all sorts of ideas."

"One, two, three, four, five, six crossover elements." Jared hmmmed and nodded. ~This confirms
that Akane is *not* Akane. But who? The time is obvious, a few days before my arrival the first
time, Nabiki had stated something about Akane going nuts and trying to kill herself. So a
dimension traveller, one who's been around, one who dislikes Akane, one who is gadget oriented,
has some cooking skills, prone to depression... Of course! Who ELSE has luck that bad?~

The native Ranma examined the odd suit of armor and wondered who was supposed to wear
THAT. Too big for his cursed form, and the interior was definitely shaped for a female anatomy.
"Hmmm. Do ya think this is Akane's?"

"No, it's built for someone taller than Akane..." Jared quickly matched the size up with individuals
he'd met. "I'd say that's for Sailor Mercenary!"

Nabiki sneezed abruptly in class and wondered if she was getting a cold.

---------

An EVA crossover world:

"Let me get this straight," said Misato to the odd holographic projection. "The person we knew as
Shinji was actually a dimension traveller named Grey. That we all have these different Aspects like
facets on a gem, and that each of us is a seperate individual. Shinji vanished because he was pulled
OUT of this universe when this guy Grey was summoned because he was the closest version of
this guy to where he was being summoned."

Edema nodded and responded with her soft Southern drawl. "Yes. That's it."

"THAT'S CRAZY!"

Edema rolled her eyes. "Nonetheless, that's what happened. Then Shinji died and was..."

Ami shrieked and fainted.

"He's DEAD?!" Misato asked, feeling a little faint herself.

"Yes, but he gets better very quickly." Edema wondered why human women did that. It didn't
seem to have a useful function. "Oh well. So... he's alive on the same timeline, but there's a
complication."

"He died and he came back?" Makoto asked, then her eyes rolled up and she fainted.

Edema stared for a moment. "Errr. Yeah. Anyway. Because of a teensy tiny mistake on my part,
he's now a girl in her mid twenties."

"You turned him into a girl?!" Usagi leaned back as if she was about to faint, then fell over and
clunked her head into the floor.

Edema had heard that humans made poor slaves. If they reacted this way just to a simple
explanation of Grey's problems, no wonder this was the case. "Uhm... anyway. He's supposed to
be accomplishing Twelve Labors except he got kinda messed up and we're still trying to find out
where he went. Or rather where half of him went."

"Eeeep!" Minako pictured all sorts of gory and disgusting visions dealing with guys turned into
girls and then ripped in half. She didn't faint, but looked quite ill.

"Is something wrong?" Edema didn't get it for a moment. THESE were the tough power armor
troops who had fought against the yoma? Or no... these girls had been normal and thrown into
battle against inhuman beings. They had thought everything had settled and been done with. Now
this.

"You tell us Shinji's dead and that Grey isn't just a nickname that Ami gave him years ago but
some sort of alternate being, that he's been split into two beings and the only one you can locate is
a GIRL?! What kind of reaction did you *think* you'd get?"

Edema waited idly until the others had awoken. She especially wanted the one wearing the plain
gold band on her finger to hear this. "Look, there's something you should know. I know Grey,
and he'd gladly spend the rest of his days being happily bored with any or all of you."

"...bored?" Makoto said, frowning

"gladly... happily?" Ami repeated, a little light coming back into her eyes.

"Well, except for the age difference. Most of his Aspects are older than yours by a couple of
decades. Oh, and that y'all's other selves been friends of his, in some cases really close, but you've
either dumped him later or died."

"Dumped him?" Makoto said, flinching for some reason.

"Died?" Ami frowned, shaking her head to clear it.

Setsuna stepped forward, bringing her staff up, the orb at the top glowing. "Close your eyes and
see for yourself."

They saw images of the Silver Millenium, where the Knight Of Duty and the Princess Jupiter
parted when the Princess saw someone else who was cuter. And of the Knight then being
discarded by Princess Pluto, ironically enough for duty.

The images changed and where the earlier had been a montage, this was a single scene from a
different life.

"This is a timeline where he violated orders to stay by your side. He became friends with all of
you, and helped you survive your earliest battles against the dark forces arrayed against you. All
to naught, however. That's a variation of Ami dying in his arms, by the way." Setsuna winced. She
hadn't been too happy viewing this timeline either.

Ami watched the seifuku-clad version of herself reach up and wipe her friend's tears away, leaving
a streak of blood. Then, after her other self had fallen limp, the vision of Grey laid her tenderly
down, closed her eyes, and charged up a set of broad stone steps.

"He only remembers bits and pieces of a number of previous lives, though emotional memory is
slightly more complete," Edema cautioned. "I'll tell y'all something up front, if you go getting all
competitive or too aggressive with him, you'll frighten 'im off."

"Actually he liked me being aggressive with him," Ami said in a quiet voice.

"Ohhhhh?" The chorus was from a number of girls suddenly focussing on Ami.

"ah ahhhhhhh, I mean, that is, well...." Ami started stuttering and playing with her fingers, turning
cherry red in the process.

Edema's image nodded approvingly. "Well, that's quite a bit further than usual."

"In any case, there is a possibility of seperating the Shinji-albino from the rest of him."

Ami interrupted, glad of something else to focus on. "You know, Shinji Ikari was just his legal
name. The real Shinji was a little boy who died in childbirth. In OUR world at least, Grey was
genetically engineered from over a dozen genetic sources including the Dark Angel 'Adama' much
like the second version that Gendo pulled out after Grey's death."

"Yeah, but Sephiroth had *nothing* in common with him. Other than some aspects of
appearance, that is," Makoto said with a growl. She'd never liked Sephiroth's holier-than-thou
attitude. Especially after his attempt to find and utilize the Silver Crystal. "Hey, waitaminute, if
Grey's out there then..."

Edema nodded. "Oh yes, there is a version of Sephiroth out there as well."

----------

Akumakun/Ranma timeline:

Akane traced the pattern in the dust, mumbling a prayer. From above, one could realize that it
was a Seal Of Solomon. Then making a gesture and channelling power, Akane cast the spell.
"Twelve spirits guard the way,
Your assistance lend today,
Bypass barriers of time and space,
Come ye here to this place,
i call your name- TORIOHIME!"

A cute green haired girl in a red dress formed out of the swirl of dust within the Seal, her wings
fluttering behind her. "Ah, Akane-kun! What is it? I'm rather busy at the moment."

Akane prepared to reverse the spell and send her back. "Oh? Fighting the Darkside?"

"Actually I was getting ready to watch the 'Skysaber' episode for today. Today's episode has him
trying to deal with a telemarketer who won't take no for an answer."

"As fascinating as i'm sure that would be," Akane said drily, "there's a brief need for you. Can you
go up to the Rocking Fist Ranch and take a look at the two Ranmas? Your magical senses might
see something Fess would miss."

"Doubtful. Wind's my ability. I'll look." The wind-princess flew off and back a moment later.
"You forgot there are wards up around the Ranch."

"Eeh. You're right. i DID forget." Akane sighed and leaned back against the wall. "Okay, well,
maybe i can perfect the D-Gate and get out of here before they marry me off to one or both of the
Ranmas."

"BOTH?! You're kidding..." Toriohime looked a bit distressed at that thought.

"Trust me on this. With SOME people, two Ranmas mean they'd BOTH end up married to
Akane." Akane shook her head. "And as it looks like there's a real Akane to take over, the sooner
i leave the sooner she gets her life back."

---------

She was the Ice Queen, the terror of Furinkan High, the heartless Mercenary Girl, the soulless
Iron Bitch. She had been called all these and more and worse.

Ever since the death of her mother, she had been someone of iron control. Someone who had
worn an iron mask and pretended she WAS the mask. A wonderful game where she held all the
cards and had proven her intellectual superiority over the mass of students at Furinkan. Tiniest
effort - greatest reward. Her major joys had been in exercise, eating, and her "game."

Between her sister's revelations, and seeing herself as part of some Heavenly Host, and some
serious soul searching... Nabiki was uncertain of many things...

But she was sure she could be nice. She could be loveable! And when this 'Ranma' showed up,
she'd *prove* that she could be just as kind and friendly and cute as EITHER of her sisters! And
more so than one!

---------

RIFTS Earth:

There were those who would say that in the future, with advanced weapons technology, war
would be eerily silent.

**BOOM!**

Then there are those who feel that in the future, there will be no more wars, that a truly advanced
civilization will find other ways of resolving disputes. These persons will also argue that
technological advances will make it too costly to pursue violence. Besides, violence never solved
anything.

**BOOM!** **FRAK!** **ZAP!**

The person confronted with the reality of something like a squad of winged powerarmor who
were more than willing to shoot first and then examine the corpses for answers would likely tell
the first two groups that they were idiots.

**BOOM!**

Minako's Boomgun was considered a slow weapon, both for purposes of actually hitting
something and for reloading. Each of the sonic-boom-producing shots that *did* connect,
however, crippled one of the SAMAS (Strategic Armor Military Assault Suit) following.

**ZAP!**

Setsuna was a Mystic, a spellcaster with some odd clairvoyant abilities. She threw lightning. And
magic nets. She also used a TechnoWizard enhancement on her staff that threw sparkling blue
missiles that chipped and gouged cerametal armor. Unfortunately, her range was the least of any
of them, which led to her frustration at not being able to contribute more. Especially as her own
energy weapon was being used by someone else.

**FRAK!**

And while Makoto Kino, aka Apple, aka Princess Jupiter didn't know much about energy
weapons, she was very enthusiastic about the idea of not being killed. The infrequent blast of
Setsuna's (Wilk's 227 pulse) laser pistol was heard more through burning the air in the path of the
blast than the cracking noise caused by the infrequent hit.

Ami looked out the windshield of the battered truck and gasped as the air seemed to split in front
of them.

---------

Three figures rode out of the sunset and the afternoon light.

On the left there was a bouncy redhead, wearing chaps and a Stetson over her regular Chinese
clothes, holding the reins of her dappled mare and eyeing it as if afraid of what it was going to do
any moment.

In the center there was Akane, sitting easy in the saddle. She rode on, ignoring the gasps and
startled noises of the few pedestrians as she passed them. She'd thought they'd have gotten used
to it by now.

"Hey, Akane! Would you like a cuppa..."

She'd also thought the various guys hitting on her would have gotten the idea by now, but this
*was* Nerima. The periodic off-and-on drizzle was also ignored. It was the whole purpose of
Western clothes to be rugged.

On the right was the huge horse, one that reminded those looking at it of the horse that Raoh rode
a decade ago in a television series called "Fist Of The Northstar." A Clydesdale on hormones
thirty hands tall if he was an inch, and a stallion of glossy white coat with a black star patch over
one eye. He was also the meanest horse in these here territories, he'd dang near killed the last
eight men who'd tried to ride 'im.

Now it'd been something of a local bet, the saloon'd give a quart of whiskey and a pound o gold
to anyone daring to make the attempt.

This here redhead'd walked clear up to the thang wi' nary a concern in her sweet little head and
mounted him straightaway, bareback even, and he'd been gentle as a schoolgirl's kiss to her ever
since.

Kreiger had gone on and on about how gawl dern *appropriate* it was that a right fittin hero
should have a horse that no one else could ride, and adopted the sweet little chickadee into the
Old West School o Martial Art Ranching straightaway. She now wore an outfit similar to
Akane's, though her skirt was longer and she had a blue bandana tied over her face so as not to
excite the locals with her downright outrageous beauty.

Trailing behind, slung over the back of a jackass, Genma moaned with a pillow tied to his rump,
that end sticking in the air. An empty quart jug o' whiskey trailed from the end of his fingers.

Akane had been unsatisfied with the quality of the first brand and had had to redo it.

The group pulled to a stop at a street corner as a yellow blur buzzed by at several hundred miles
per hour, followed in seconds by a racing Thundertank full of a good half dozen shapely female
Thundercats and their theme song.

"What was THAT?!" Ranma-n in chaps and Chinese clothes squeeked.

Ranma-j turned her head to look over at the Cat's Lair being built where the old scrap yard had
been. "Don't ask, they're obviously looking for something." ~Specifically *ME*, but by Thundara
Snarf is the least medically fumble fingered of the lot of them and he makes Akane seem
coordinated with a scalpel! When I can get back safely I'm going to see that some of them get
remedial first aid training, at least!~

"Ought to put up a Wanted poster." Akane snorted and produced a guitar out of nowhere.
"Hmmm. You know, i think something nearly *demanded* by this scene? Y'all join in. Audience
participation section."

Ranma-j blinked. Ranma-n stared. Genma-h winced.

"Riding down a western trail,
under skies of blue,
swayin' in the saddle all day long,
life will always be a song,
Riding the range with you..."

Akane stopped when her companions kept a blank look. "Y'all don't know that one, d'ye? How
about something more upbeat:
Come a tie-yi-yipee-ai-o,
come along o' doodle-e-day,
o-whoa- oh doodly yay,
in old Oklahoma they tell of a land,
that's famous for lizards and white diamond sand,
they climb for their water and dig for their wood,
on 10 million acres that ain't any good,
Come along with me,
to a land that is fair,
where the ants and the grasshoppers nest in your hair,
where they drink from the jug and they shoot from the hip,
and they have lots of fun on the Cherokee Strip..."

Akane stopped strumming. "Y'all don't know 'Riding The Range With You' or 'Cherokee Strip'
eh? Well, we'll have a chance tomorrow at school maybe."

"Maybe," agreed Jared.

"Well, this here's my home, y'all c'mon in," Akane said, leading the three through the gates, under
the sign that now read "Tendo Dojo and Livery Stable." Though the "and Livery Stable" was
usually pried loose by Soun who didn't truck with the idea of "corrupting" the pure style of
Anything Goes with such things. The gate had been redone and was now of a style more suitable
for riding through, though it gave Kasumi some pangs as it was *not* Japanese.

The three rode through, dismounted and Akane showed the native Ranma how to tie her mare to
the hitching post that had been conveniently set up in their front yard. "We'll come out and set 'em
up fer the night proper, but ah ain't rightly sure iffn Kasumi needs us ta go out fer a spell and pick
her up some ingredients fer supper. We all'll go in an see, ah reckon."

Native Ranma remained still for a moment and then guiltily turned her back and began to flip
through the Pocket Dictionary of Old West Slang.

The *other* redhead had gone over to the jackass, removed the pillow from the *other* jackass
the horse-shaped one was carrying, and gave him a mighty slap with her hand on his rump. "Hey,
paw!"

The bellowing scream of pain could be heard clearly three blocks away over the noise of the
raging Thundertank.

The gorgeous girl smiled prettily at the man while holding the pillow to her chest. Inhaling, she
bellowed. "Foolish boy! A TRUE Martial Artist is willing to regard any misfortune as training!
The greater the pain, the greater the anguish, the more suffering and toil, the more pure his
dedication to the Art."

Genma glared at her rebelliously with petulant little eyes.

Ranma-chan stared at all this, then snickered. "You got the tone just right. Oyaji, how many times
have you told *me* that?"

The Tendo household had sprouted eyes. Soun came racing out of the lower floor to embrace his
dear friend, and ended up accidentally forcing him back against the hitching post where the
wooden pole poked into his friend's hind end.

Fishermen in the Sea of Japan looked up and wondered what that noise was, thunder?

Soun hadn't noticed, and continued holding his dear friend as Genma began crying for some
inexplicable reason. Well, Soun could join him! What a happy meeting it was!

Nabiki removed her hands from her ears and waited for her hair to settle down. Leaning out of
her window, she asked. "Hey Akane, who are your guests?" ~Could it be she's made some friends
at this ranching stuff?~ Nabiki tried to ponder whether that was good or bad. Hopefully they
didn't share little sister's "hobby."

Kasumi was peering curiously out of the kitchen window drying a dish with a towel. She also was
wondering, but concluded that Akane having friends couldn't be a bad thing if it made her want to
go on living.

Ranma-n was trying to untangle herself from the unfamiliar accouterments, having gotten her
spurs caught on the rope that hung from the horse's saddle, and was now getting caught up in the
hitching reins. Quickly she removed the spurs and tossed them aside on the grass, getting the rest
of the mess swiftly untangled.

Whimpering, Genma got Soun to release him and lowered himself to a seat on the nice, soft grass,
intending to ask his friend for a pillow.

Jets passing in and out of Hong Kong airport were shuddered in the unexpected turbulence of
what sounded oddly like a bellow of pain.

Genma was lying on his belly on the ground, crying softly into the lawn as Ranma-chan's spurs
stuck out of a tender part of his anatomy. Ranma-j tossed the other two girls a wink. "Y'all know
them there spurs gotta come out?"

She was greeted by two nods. Akane smirked.

The trio turned to surround the panda-man. Ranma-j leaned over to where she could see his face
and remarked. "Hey there, paw! Ain't ya always tellin mah sister and me that REAL men don't
ever cry?"

Genma glared hatefully at her and Ranma-n snickered into full blown laughter. Akane took this
opportunity to set her boot on the rump and yanked them spurs out!

One Cosmonought turned to the other as their space station unexpectedly vibrated. {Did you feel
that?}

The other cosmonought shrugged. {Maybe something came loose? It sounded like a scream of
pain. We should check the support struts.}

Genma was blubbering softly on the grass, having yanked up double handfuls of it and twitching
as he lay on his face. Soun was looking on, wondering what was wrong. Both Ranmas were
feeling this warm glow of happiness deep in their hearts.

Jared took off her hat, smoothed her long hair back out of her eyes and replaced the headpiece.
Hands folded demurely before her, she bowed to Akane and shone brightly toward her. "Thank
you for inviting us out to your ranch. We had great fun. We'd like to visit again, if we may. But
for right now we've got relatives we have to see in the area."

"We do?" Ranma-chan asked, only to get elbowed by Jared a moment later.

"Sure." Akane mumbled, suspicious over why this Ranma was making an exit speech when they'd
just got here. They weren't planning to bail this early, were they? What if she were here to get
Ranma and Kasumi together? And relatives in the area? She hadn't seen *that* before. Well,
except for that timeline where Ranma had been related to the Emperor (by a son that hadn't been
there in other timelines three generations back, and tied to one of the upper rank families until
Nodoka had defied her father by marrying Genma... oh dear.)

Genma and Soun were both building up to questions, but the perky redhead smoothly turned them
off that course by taking out of her purse a rolled up sheet of yellow paper, which she handed to
Genma. "Mr. Saotome, I was picking up my reward for Wildhorn here when the saloon keeper
gave me this to give to you. He said he'd never seen a man who could guzzle whiskey like you did
and he wanted you to know that if you're interested you've got the job, said he'd never seen
anyone more qualified." At Soun's prompting, Genma had unrolled the scroll of paper. Inside it
read:

---------EXPERIENCED VAGABOND WANTED---------
for position as Town Drunk,
Martial Arts Ranching Town.
Must be disreputable and unsavory looking
Able to remain drunk from noon until sundown
Odious personal habits, drunken rants required
Groveling necessary, but will train.
Costume and liquor provided.

Soun's eyes were round as he read with delight over his friend's shoulder. "Why, that's *you*,
Saotome!"

Gena was thoughtfully scratching his chin. "Liquor provided? Hmm, I wonder what the pay's
like..."

Kasumi and Nabiki, who'd come out to participate in the discussion, gave each other a glance that
plainly spoke about their opinions to their father inviting a vagabond and a drunk over. And their
fiance(s) were such a person's sons?

Jared pivoted to take her sister by the hand as the two old men were distracted. "Come on,
Ranko."

"But I..." Ranma-chan stammered.

Jared fought the urge to sigh and wished she'd taught this Ranma a little Battlesign. A simple
'Explanation after action' signal could be passed so easily here without arousing suspicion. As it
was she had to lean close to whisper. "I was thinking we could go and find ourselves a couple of
boys before we go where we have to be this evening."

"WHAT??! NO WAY! I mmmmfrggghhh!" Ranma found her mouth interrupted by her "sister's"
hand and a few whispered comments. Ranko's face spread wide and *beamed!* "Hey! I think
that's a *great* idea!" She even summoned the will to giggle.

Akane's face was flat with doubt. Something was up here, and it *wasn't* Genma's blood-alcohol
level... yet, though from the way their parents were going over that poster the two would
probably both show up together to apply. Too bad there was only one slot open, don't need any
more than one Town Drunk, after all. Though Soun would probably get fleeced by Gambler
(practitioner and Heir to the Old West Style Of Martial Arts Cardsharking.)

Ranko and her sister were up on her stallion and riding away with waves of their hats before
Akane realized that *she'd* been distracted by this job for Genma, too. Long enough for them to
slip away at any rate.

"So, Akane, you've got friends now. That's so nice!" Nabiki, the helpful and supportive sister that
she was *trying* to become, was nonetheless suspicious.

"Sort of," said Akane. She wouldn't bust their plans wide open. Though the temptation was to do
so was quite strong. So instead she'd be a little less so. "Oy, Kasumi-oneechan. Their Dad's here
so ah would expect yer fiance to be showin' right soon. Why don't y'all get that formal teaset
ready?"

Nabiki and Kasumi blinked at this, startled by Akane's solemn look.

"On the other hand, ah'll be setting up a ritual in the backyard. Somethin' ah been thinkin' of for
awhile." Akane winked and cocked her hat at a rakish angle. "Y' might do it up twice, after all,
Nabiki might be gettin' engaged soon herself."

"What exactly are you planning, Akane?" Nabiki asked her sister.

"Well, sister, y'all know them clerical spells ah be castin' lately?" Akane smiled slightly at Nabiki's
vigorous nod. "Well, one o' them is a curse removal spell, an' ah got's me a feelin' that if ah do it
exactly right, it'll make a darn fine dowry for one of y'all."

-----------

*SHOOM*

Jared smiled and put the Pokeball containing Wildhorn in a pocket. Typical of the Rival Relief
Office tendency to scavenge timelines for handy little things that they could then use to address
the dichotomy between their average power level and the level of missions/other agencies. He
briefly wondered if the next youma he encountered could be shoved in one.

Ranma disdained such things but kept an eye on them. You never know. Some of this stuff might
be handy, though relying on them was obviously a weakness.

Jared finished that, begged two cups of hot water from a vendor, and returned to the alley with
Ranma. A double splash quickly followed.

"Am I glad to finally get out of there!" Ranma was busily divesting himself of anything remotely
female, though as he'd never acquired any to begin with this was a little hard.

"I think what you really mean to say is that you're glad to be able to shuck the disguise, and I
don't blame you." Jared said, as he made the switch between ladylike to masculine in everything
from attire to actual fact, also disposing of Western gear in the process, getting into a more
Chinese costume, similar to Ranma's. "And I don't blame you, it's unnatural and uncomfortable to
be something you aren't."

Ranma made a noise that more than backed that statement up.

Jared was lacing the ties of his sandals up his calf. "But the way I understand it, there's a time
share thing going on with our curse that will only allow us to spend half our time as our true
gender. Since we've just put a day and a fraction into that other role, we ought to have a
reasonably approximate time as ourselves before we become water magnets."

"Huh?"

One twin met the other's puzzled eyes. "Ranma, do you remember China? When we first *got*
those curses we could hardly spend a moment out of them. It would rain or drizzle at the most
unexpected moments, we'd get splashed by shopkeepers and water would seemingly come out of
nowhere to get us. The curse is MAGIC! It doesn't obey normal rules. According to normal
science, if a thing has a trigger you just fail to trigger that and you'll be okay. According to magic,
if a curse says that you will spend half of your time female, then the trigger will appear all by itself
to make sure that you get your time quota in. Being careful won't stop it, only more magic."

"So what we gotta find is more magic." Ranma reasoned, flexing his muscled arm and enjoying
the feel of being *him* again!

"In martial arts there are a ton of special, esoteric maneuvers that just any counter won't stop,
you've got to have the *right* one to do the trick. Rushing headlong isn't going to help any, and
the only magic we've encountered so far is these curses. It seems likely there are more curses out
there. So rather than get another one lets be careful, okay?"

Ranma unconsciously tugged on the end of his pigtail, victim of a Dragon's Whisker Soup curse,
and laughed self-consciously. One could see some of his heedless haste die.

Jared stood up, now wearing standard Ranma silks in yellow and green, one of those wicker hats,
and two swords that most people would automatically convince themselves couldn't *possibly* be
sheathed in pearl, and it had to be white enamel. He flung the other Ranma a key to the apartment
he'd just rented. "You go on ahead. That will break up the 'two leave together, two
arrive together' connection, and make our disguise a little easier. Don't let Genma blow the whole
secret, and you *know* he'll try to."

"Huh? Why would he do that?" Ranma asked, honestly puzzled, catching the key one handed.

Jared sighed, beginning to fit small objects into his sash where they would be concealed, yet
ready. "Because, Ranma, he's going to get a wealthy retirement if he marries us off to that man
you saw's daughters. He's in 'Sell out my sons' mode, and that means he's more his friend's
ally than ours. Oh, tuck that key on the inside of your pigtail, would you? If you hide it anywhere
else either Genma or Nabiki is going to get ahold of it and we'll have to change hiding holes."

Ranma slipped the key into the appropriate hiding place and still looked puzzled.

Jared only sighed and shook his head as he busied himself with other things. "Oh, Ranma. Just be
on your guard when you get there, alright? Genma will try and turn you into a girl, they will *all*
try and marry you to Akane, which you must avoid or catastrophe will result, and generally stay
on your toes, okay? Trust me, you'll be glad if you did. If you go into that situation trusting
Genma will be nice you're in for a few nasty shocks."

The native Ranma looked skeptical. "Well, okay. If you say so." He hopped out of the window
and was off, racing the two blocks to get there.

Behind him Jared was waiting for a few (not many) moments, intending to get there about a
minute after Ranma did and before they could hail him with two many questions he still wasn't
clever enough to answer.

Opening up a jewelry case, he selected a magic ring (a Ring of Utmost Weapon Harm, come to
think of it) and slid it on the ring finger of his left hand, pausing a moment to admire it. "Heh. I'm
sorry, but I can't get engaged, I'm already married."

Then he began to apply putty to his face to reduce his good looks.

-------

Back at the ranch, errr, Tendo dojo, the residents had been plying their guest with food and
comfort and now the old man was swaddled in cushions, just beginning to sip a cup of delicious
tea as he lay prostrate by the table with his old friend.

Nabiki was feeling a trifle rebellious, as the pillow that usually graced her behind was tucked in
with the mass surrounding that town-drunk-to-be, and while Kasumi wouldn't mind ordinarily,
going out of her way to make this disreputable type of man at ease was something she might well
develop a facial tick over.

"So Tendo," whimpered Genma when he'd recovered enough. My sons..."

"Hey pops!" Ranma shouted, appearing in a leap over the wall of the yard. Dodging instantly to
the side as Genma (who had feigned far more incapacity than he felt in order to achieve more
solace) charged him with a bucket of water.

"Foolish boy! Why did you run off and leave me like that? Are you a coward?" He began to cry
false crocodile tears as he berated his offspring. "Or is it that I have FAILED!?! Both of my sons
are willing to abandon their only parent. Surely I have failed to instill any kind of
honor." He dropped the crying act and began to shout in Ranma's face. "Ranma! Running away
from your responsibilities isn't... Urk!" The elder Saotome found it difficult to speak with his son's
foot in his mouth.

"Isn't too unlike you, pops." Ranma completed dryly.

*Ding Dong*

"That must be the front door. I'll get it." Nabiki was off, having beaten her older sister by virtue of
not having been holding a pot of tea when the bell rang.

The stranger at the door had his hat brim low so Nabiki couldn't see his face, but he asked her. "I
take it this is the Tendo place? I trust Genma and my brother are already here."

That was worth a moment of blinking. Nabiki cocked her head aside (trying to get a look under
that hat) and asked. "Isn't Mr Saotome your father? Why do you refer to him by his first name?"

"Because I do not respect him." Was her simple answer, as the head came up to reveal a boy not
unlike Ranma in appearance, though something about that seemed out of place. Shrugging, Nabiki
stood aside to let him in. In moments everyone was gathered around the dining room table.

Genma, still enthroned as a king in all of the cushions available, cleared his throat and started.
"My name is Genma Saotome, and these are my sons..."

"Ranma Saotome." Ranma bowed from where he was seated.

"Jared Saotome." supplied Ranma-j.

"JARED?!" Akane yelped as if someone had branded *her* posterior.

Jared merely raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure you're alright, Akane? You look a little Grey. Still
it'll be a lovely Knight for Moonlight, wouldn't you say? Maybe that'll give you a little extra
Serenity, then we can all go Scout out something to do. Maybe go Sailing, or I could show
you gals Mercury or Venus. I don't know if we'd have the Time to do Pluto, but the Silver Moon
is always nice." He snapped his fingers as if in discovery of a new thought. "Hey! I think they may
even have that new Skysaber game in the arcade!" ~And if they don't, I can *add* it.~

The look Akane shot Jared was full of meaning, one of which was active displeasure. ~He
KNEW?! And still put me through all that? Damn elves!~

Nabiki was disappointed. There went her chance to prove that she could be a nice supportive
fiancee! One was an uncouth brute, and the other had lost serious points with her by his treatment
of his father (though she had to admit, there was a decent chance that it was deserved) and was
now coming onto her younger sister! Though Akane didn't look too happy about it.

And she'd been hoping for cute, too.

"Oops," said Akane, flipping a cup of iced tea towards Jared.

"Clumsy of you," said Jared, catching then redirecting the cup with such skillful control that it
caught all of its original contents and was set down nicely on the table without spilling a drop.

"Oops, sorry about that." Akane shook her head with a glower toward Jared. "Well, y'all can git
better acquainted while ah busy myself in that there kitchen."

"So, son," Soun was preening. "It'll be my youngest daughter then."

The boy mentioned took a calm drink from his glass of water (he didn't drink tea, and by so saying
he lost points with Kasumi and was rapidly pacing himself out of this race - which he felt was all
for the best, really). "Sorry, Mr Tendo. There's a very long list of things I'd rather do than marry
Akane. It includes leaping from the tallest structure in Japan without any safety devices and being
thrown in a cage of wild maneaters, and both of those are toward the *top* of the list. Arm
wrestling with acidic slimes is down further but still on there, and I
think she feels the same."

"Y'all got *that* right!" Came a voice from the kitchen, accompanied by the momentary view of
Akane's head, still appearing slightly furious.

"Well, it's obvious," said Soun. "Akane is not well. That leaves two daughters. You have two
sons. The solution is mandated by the Heavens themselves!"

"Wouldn't work. I'm already married." Jared lifted his hand to show off the ring.

"And just where is this wife of yours, boy?" Genma challenged. "We've been on the road. You've
never even *met* anybody! And don't tell me you got married without my consent."

"You could annul that." Soun nodded seriously toward his friend.

Jared was sending out little sweatdrops. ~Ooops! Can't call on the wives, as they'd *nurse* me.
Hmm, next course of action... Uh, help?~

Ranma rolled his eyes and leaned back. "Nice try, bro."

Akane's head popped out, a wicked gleam forming in her eyes. "Ah think i saw that in a fire
readin'. Ain't there a little filly named..."

Jared had a Silence 15' radius aimed at the kitchen before he realized he was still out of spell
points.

"...Ukyo Kuonji?" Akane finished.

"SAOTOME! What is the meaning of this?" Soun began going to Demon Head.

Akane saw this and wondered what would happen if she threw a few spirit wards at it. Hmmm...

"Uhm, well, gee. I haven't heard from Ukyo..." Genma began throwing greasy little sweatdrops in
all directions.

Ranma unexpectedly gave Genma an out. "Ucchan? Isn't Ucchan a boy?"

"That's right! So we can just go ahead and engage your daughters to my sons!" Genma finished.

"This does not bode well," said Jared.

"Yeah." Nabiki was beginning to think she was upset with this person. She checked her clothes,
one of her favorite outfits- a two hearts sweater and some jeans that were tight where they did the
most good. Yet she'd been dismissed like cafeteria food. "Very flattering." Or had her reputation
preceeded her here as well?

As much as it pained him, Jared could see that he wasn't going to succeed in this course of action,
and was rapidly
making enemies out of people he'd hoped to be friends with over the rest of his healing period.
~Time for a change in
plans.~

He looked around sheepishly. "I'm not going to get out of this, am I?"

A chorus of shaking heads was his reply, including every member of both families. Except Akane,
who had finished in
the kitchen and was now out doing something with chalk lines and faintly glowing water in the
yard.

"Oh well!" He chirped. "It was worth the effort, anyway. Scuse me." He reached up to his throat
and took hold of the
skin there, starting by peeling that away, then tearing the false flesh mask off entirely.

And Nabiki discovered the Cute requirement was **MORE** than fulfilled. A dozen times over
and with change to spare.

"Oh My." Soun choked, considering if he should perhaps engage *both* of his eligible daughters
to this son.

Kasumi was busy loosening the suddenly far-too-tight collar of her dress so she might breathe
again to speak, though the
flush traveling up from her neck to her hairline did a fair amount of speaking for her.

Genma caught Ranma's collar as the boy tried sneaking out, as both were now used to what they
might expect when females first saw Jared. Age didn't even seem to serve to provide any
immunity, as proven by numberless shopkeepers and at least one 300 year old Amazon.

Jared, who was more used to the reaction he received than they, eyed the door and considered
escape, but it was too late.

"Ranma," Akane called from the back yard. "i'm ready to try and remove your curse now."

"Remove..." Jared said, distracted enough that he finished peeling off his mask without
considering the effects of a 25 Charisma against a stay-at-home Japanese housewife or her slightly
more jaded sister. Akane removing a hangnail level curse was difficult to believe. Grey? Powerful
enough to budge a Jusenkyo curse?

"...my curse?" Ranma finished. He'd never been as comfortable with the female form as Jared had
been. Now this girl who'd been so nice to him was going to cure the curse?!

"ah've been accumulating spell energies for this and casting divinations on what ah needed for a
week," Akane said, her hair whipping around in a breeze that only seemed to affect her. "Get in
that there circle and don't disturb the outer lines. This is the only shot ah got to do it."

"...cured...?" Genma said, looking covetously at the circle the girl was indicating.

"Waitaminute, even so, do you think you can do this?" Jared exclaimed. "Jusenkyo curses are
equivelant to 7th level magic at least!"

"As a Healer, my specialty is White Magic. Curses are Black. Now, Ranma - hurry. The amount
of power i'm drawing is a difficult bronco for me to ride... All i ask is that you treat my big sister
right."

"She's talking normally," Kasumi noted, her hand going inside the apron pocket to the little bottle
of pills she'd gotten from that doctor. "Well, mostly."

Akane had started floating, head thrown back and eyes closed, the circle she stood in illuminated
as if by a searchlight.
"i whom am not worthy of thy power,
naeless call upon it in this hour,
angels of healing, angels of light,
intercede that things be set aright,"

Jared winced as he saw the sparks and flames begin erupting from her clothes. She was
channelling more power than she was really able to handle. Obviously counting on the removal of
the curse relaxing enough of the insanity that Ranma wouldn't feel as much of a need to prove he
was a guy by being a jerk.

"and the black threads now be unbound," Akane gasped as a plume of white fire built.

Jared interposed himself between Soun and Akane when he saw the Tendo patriarch about to rush
forward. "MISTER TENDO! Interfering now puts Akane in MORE danger. She's currently
weaving a White Magic clerical magic that could easily burn her to ashes if you break the circle of
light around her now."

"Akane!" Kasumi winced, her own attention derailed from where she had been merely staring at
Jared.

"Ranma! Get in the circle!" Akane gasped and her back arched within what was now a nearly
blinding pillar of light. "Decide which curse you want removed! Hurry!"

"Which curse?" Ranma was puzzled and hanging just outside the circle that Akane had indicated.

"You bear several black band weavings, curses. Genma has passed on to you the hereditary curse
of male pattern baldness. The Dragon's Hair, Jusenkyo, the Cat Fist, a curse from a temple that
your father stole from... ah! Certain other influences of your father fit... i can't unbind them
alllllll." Akane's face twisted and she was obviously wracked with pain.

There was a loud *CLANG!* and a certain large martial artist's sneaking towards the spot Ranma
still hesitated to enter was interrupted.

Nabiki lowered one of Kasumi's frypans and looked towards Ranma. "GET IN!"

Ranma nervously got into the circle. "In that case, I choose..."

===========

Old West School of Martial Arts Ranching
special manuevers: Rowdy Roundup, Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport, Both Guns Blazing, Infinite
Six Shooter, Boom Town, Little Homestead On The Prairie, Cowpoke, Cattlepunching, Better
Than OK Corral, Git Along Little Doggies, Call In The Calvary

and "Riding The Range With You" and "Cherokee Strip" are both old Singing Cowboy songs.

Kasumi's voice: "Oh my, which curse will Ranma choose to have cured? Jusenkyo? Cat Fist?
Dragon's Hair? unspecified curse? Male pattern baldness? Oh dear. Akane, your hair's turned
white!"
Akane's voice: "After *that*, you better treat my sister my right, Saotome! ?!? Whatta ya mean
you choose ME?!"



====================