Saiyuki Fan Fiction / Saiyuki Reload Fan Fiction / Saiyuki Reload Gunlock Fan Fiction ❯ 'Long time dead' ❯ Premonition ( Chapter 1 )

This is my first ever fic so please don't completely slay me. It ended up much darker than I intended so watch out for alcoholism, a drugs mention, suicide, character death and of course MAN ON MAN ACTION. If you don't like any of that then don't read this K? you have been warned. That really makes it sound angsty and depressing but please read as it is worth it I swear! Please review too as I could really use CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. Thanks, enjoy!

 

I obviously don't own any of the characters they belong to Kazuya Minekura. I also lay no claim to the brand and product names of Smith and Wesson, Marlboro or Fender.

 

XXXXXX

 

 

`Long Time Dead'

 

`And I never felt so lonely

Got the feeling I can't shed

And it might seem like a premonition

But you're a long time dead

Gonna be a long time dead

Misery the devil's in my head'

 

L.A. Guns-Long time dead

 

 

Sanzo took a deep drag on his cigarette, the end flaring brightly in the near darkness backstage. He was thinking not for the first time about how the hell he'd got there. In a few minutes extreme would be going on stage for another of their now legendary shows. He'd never really thought far beyond fulfilling his mission and once his task was complete he'd felt left with no where to go. All he knew was he wasn't ready to return to the temple, not yet anyway. Just as Gojyo had joined them initially because he'd had nothing better to do Sanzo was now staying with the party for the exact same reason, it beat being alone, though he'd never admit it to the others.

He dropped his cigarette to the floor, scrubbing it out with a booted foot he slowly strummed the strings of the black Fender Stratocaster that hung around his neck. He thought of the other band members, the inexhaustible Goku beating the hell out of the drums, Hakkai stolidly keeping the music together with his bass lines, just as he stolidly held the band itself together. Gojyo holding the frontline, a born performer making all the men want to be him and the women want to fuck him. He sighed deeply and began to reach for another fag when he saw the others approaching.

 

`About time' he hissed in annoyance.

`aww come on Sanzo we're keeping the crowd on edge, building it till they want us bad enough' the incorrigible kappa grinned slyly at his guitarist as he swept past him and towards the stage.

`I'm hungry'

`Come now Goku you only ate an hour ago' chastised Hakkai

`Drumming takes a lot of energy!'

`You should try taking the workout I get every night, and then there's the whole performing on stage thing too'

`Shut up Kappa! I don't wanna know!' yelled the youngest band member. Gojyo turned, fist raised but stopped when he saw the look on Sanzo's face.

`I don't give a damn about the monkeys hunger or your own sordid appetite. If you don't get on stage in the next ten seconds you won't get on stage ever again'.

 

Shooting a final discreet glare at the monkey king Gojyo opened the door and the noise of the crowd seemed deafening. It reached a higher crescendo as the red haired singer made his way onto the stage, punching his fist in the air and radiating raw sex for all he was worth. Goku bounced past him and settled himself on his stool, sticks spinning in his capable hands. Flashing a quick smile at the priest Hakkai joined the others.

 

Sighing deeply to himself Sanzo made his way into the glare of the lights. A fresh scream broke from the crowd but he paid them no heed. He enjoyed playing guitar, it gave him some kind of release and he could get enjoyment from something predictable and reliable like his instrument knowing it wouldn't turn on him or cause difficulties. Though he could pour his emotion into it and they'd come out as white hot screams it had none of its own to interfere. He got more than enough attention from the female fans but he wasn't interested, not like Gojyo who was of the opinion he'd died and gone to heaven. People were too complicated, and the groupies shallow attitudes and flirtatious manner just annoyed him.

 

Gojyo eventually tiring of bathing in the fans adoration introduced their fist song and Goku began beating out the rhythm. Sanzo closed his eyes, feeling rather than hearing the deep thrum of Hakkai's bass. He brought his pick down on the strings of his guitar, letting himself fall into his music, playing with all the aggression he used to deal out to his enemies. His guitar let forth a tortured scream and time stopped as reality melted away.

 

xxxxxx

 

The show was over and the fans had long since filed off home, except for the select, or not so select few that Gojyo had persuaded to come back to their suite to celebrate with him. Goku was stuffing his face and Hakkai was as usual immersed in a book. Sanzo could never understand how he did that, went from the adrenaline and raw power of being on stage to calmly reading a book. Then again he couldn't talk, he coped with alcohol and lots of it.

 

He was never drunk on stage but as soon as they were back at the hotel he had a bottle in his hand, normally whiskey. He glanced morosely down to see his current bottle was nearly empty. Across the room Gojyo was busily chatting up the latest batch of girls, not that he had to try very hard. Downing the last of the booze Sanzo got unsteadily to his feet and headed for his room If he were lucky he might get to sleep before the moans and screams began to issue from next door.

 

Hakkai worriedly watched their old leader slowly stagger out the room. He was worried about him, he was going to drink himself to death at this rate, he couldn't remember the last time the priest had gone to bed sober.

 

xxxxx

 

Sanzo lay on his back staring at nothing, thinking of nothing, trying to block out the sounds form next door. Gojyo was apparently giving the girls a night they wouldn't forget in a hurry. He couldn't care less, except when it stopped him sleeping, then again he didn't sleep too well these days anyway. He swung his legs of the bed and reached underneath it for his guitar case. He never let the roadies transport his instrument, never let it travel with the other equipment. He reverentially picked it up, running his pale hands over the shining black lacquer that reflected the tiny bit of light that slipped through the curtains from the street lamps outside. The guitar had a custom finish, skillfully painted bullet holes with ragged edges made it appear as if the guitar had been victim to a drive by…or Sanzo's temper.

 

There was a tentative knock on the door followed by its opening and a pretty blonde pushing her head through. She pouted at him and began to cross the space between them. Her slinky walk came to an abrupt halt as the priest picked his Smith and Wesson from the bedside table and fired a shot into the door frame centimeters from her head. With a high pitched scream she ducked out the room and disappeared along the corridor. Placing his gun and guitar back down Sanzo moved across and shut the door. He knew he shouldn't have done that but he didn't give a damn, Gojyo could keep his whores to himself.

 

He sat back on the edge of his bed, picking up his gun and slowly filled the recently emptied chamber with a fresh bullet. He snapped the cylinder shut and stared at the weapon in his hands, remembering his motivation for having chosen it all those years ago `it's the perfect size for me to put a hole through my skull at anytime'. The Orange light from the streetlamp reflected dully off the worn metal. The cold weight of it in his hands was comforting and he contemplated the feel of it against his temple and the ease with which he could pull the trigger. Too easy. He laid it back on his table and instead reached for his guitar.

 

xxxxx

 

The priest had the top floor suite to himself the next day as the rest of the band members went to a signing to promote the release of their new album. They were playing the same venue again that evening and with nothing to do Sanzo resorted to watching television. The lack of anything related to the band was a relief, Hakkai must have once again pacified the petrified girl that had flown form his room. He was getting quite good at it.

`If you at least locked your door they couldn't get in in the first place' the quiet man would scold him but it was he who always handled the press, stopped there being more lawsuits filed against Sanzo then could be helped. Gojyo's protests that his friend from another band had said at least eleven court cases were needed to make a band went unheeded. The television did little to distract him and he spent the next few hours pacing around the bands rooms like a haunted man, occasionally stopping at the window to gaze down at the fans clustered outside the hotel, waiting for just a glimpse of the band.

 

His life wasn't his own anymore, if he wanted to nip out and buy cigarettes he simply couldn't unless he wanted to be mobbed to death or spend the next five hours signing autographs or rather avoiding signing them. It had occasionally been like this when they were on their mission for the sutra but Sanzo felt it was somehow more understandable then. They were trying to sort out Shangri La and bring peace to the world, combating the threat to people's lives. Now they did nothing at all and people were clamoring for them, it was pathetic.

 

He opened yet another packet of cigarettes and quickly lit up, inhaling deeply and trying to clear his mind. He wished there was something more productive he could do to pass the time. Arranging himself comfortably on the couch he opened the papers, hoping there'd be no mention of the band. He began to read, blocking out the world. Living the rock n roll high life sure was fun.e wished he could do somthignheheHirvnfwhifhnehghtgjcjvj

 

 

xxxxx

 

The show had gone well that evening, another sell out and half the kids in the audience having already attended the night before as well. Gojyo lapping up the hero worship as usual, playing to the crowd. Strutting back and forth wailing into the microphone or using his deeper, rougher voice. Alternatively serenading the fans or telling them to get lost, to pick up their weapons and fight the powers that be or live in peace together. Then there was that song about food that Goku had written that was surprisingly popular. Sanzo just hated the mixed messages and the falsehoods, he came up with his own riffs but refused to contribute even one word to the lyrics.

 

He just played away, sullen as ever. The papers alternated between judging him as cold and detached or a sexy loner depending on how they were feeling and who they wanted on side. So fickle. The crowd was responsive though all he could see beyond the glare of the stage lights was a single writhing mass. He never could understand how Gojyo saw through to the crowd in order to make eye contact and truly drive the girls wide. Goku practically destroyed a drum kit every show, he didn't really care about the crowd he just liked playing and got over excited. No one knew how Hakkai felt about anything, a true enigma his feelings (if he even had any) were locked deep inside. This was where the mighty Sanzo had got to, playing shows with a bassist more suited to the library then the stage, a barely tamed pubescent and a man so up his own ass it was a wonder the girls could get down there. Why did he even bother?

 

xxxxx

 

`I'm taking Goku out to get something to eat'. Gojyo looked up incredulously `at this time?'

`I told you cockroach drumming is hard work, I gotta eat and I'm sick of the hotel food, plus they never give me enough'. The youngest band member bounced off down the corridor towards the lift.

`Watch out for the press' warned Gojyo

`We're only getting some food, I'm sure that's not too fascinating'

`Smokes' interjected Sanzo before glancing down at the near empty bottle in his lap `and whiskey'. Hakkai left the apartment muttering under his breath about skivvies, following Goku's impatient shouts for him to hurry.

 

`That was harsh you know Sanzo, Hakkai didn't deserve that, your equals, we're not your supposed `slaves' anymore, we ain't even your subordinates now'. Sanzo's violet eyes fixed on the red of Gojyo's.

`You aren't surrounded by your normal pack of whores'

`stop changing the subject'

`And for future reference don't take the liberty of sending them round to mine when your finished with them' Sanzo watched his band mate's face, expecting to see his brows come down and anger line his handsome face but it didn't happen, there was something else there though, concern.

 

`We're worried about you Sanzo, you've just fallen to pieces. You barely talk except to demand fags or booze. You're drunk every night, not that I have that much of a problem with that but it isn't making you happy. I hear you at night playing that damn guitar, you never sleep.'

`I can still play guitar can't I? That's what's important for the sake of this goddamn band isn't it?

`No Sanzo your important, not just the fuckin band. At this rate you're going to kill yourself.' The priest suddenly laughed something Gojyo had never heard before and never wanted to hear again. He'd never heard such a mirthless laugh, totally devoid of human emotion except perhaps for mockery. Then the part youkai suddenly realized the significance of it.

 

He sat in silence his mouth open in shock, he got to his feet and moved across the room towards the priest, his eyes never leaving the intense purple of the guitarist's.

`You've thought about it haven't you? How close have you friggin come? Thought about it? Held that damn gun in your hand, placed it to your own temple?'

`Why the hell is it any concern of yours?'

`I care about you!' Gojyo broke off, embarrassed, `the whole band cares'. For the first time Gojyo saw the mask slip, saw the anguish in Sanzo's eyes and it scared the shit out of him, he seemed….empty. Sanzo sighed.

`It's fine for you! You like being in the band, you're a born performer, your getting the respect you never had before because your taboo, you have those women screaming out their love for you'. Gojyo scoffed

`You think they love me? Even if they did I wouldn't want their love, its just sex, besides maybe that there's someone else I love.'

 

Sanzo failed to pick up on the deeper meaning of the kappa's words, didn't see the look in his eyes or the unusually serious nature of his expression.

`Then aren't you the lucky one' he sighed bitterly `I haven't known love since my master died, and I never will again, it's not worth the effort' he paused slightly, staring into the middle distance, his eyes looking at nothing. `It's not worth the pain'.

`You know love doesn't always equal pain Sanzo. You've got to allow yourself some feelings, there what makes us human'.

 

`I can't believe I'm sat having a heart to heart with you of all people.' The priest shifted as if to get to his feet `I hope you at least find happiness with whoever it is you've fallen for'. Before he could get to his feet Sanzo found himself held back by Gojyo's hand on his arm.

`In that case' said Gojyo softly his wine red eyes focused intently on the purple of his band mates, holding him in place with his gaze. He leaned forward and his lips brushed Sanzo's cheek, ghosting down to his mouth where he planted a gentle kiss. He felt the cold metal of the Smith and Wesson resting against his temple. The part youkai pulled back but didn't remove his hand from where it rested lightly on the priests arm.

 

`What the fuck was that' Sanzo's voice wasn't at all heated, he barely sounded angry but the coldness was far worse. Smart mouthed replies came to Gojyo's mind but he decided that saying them while a gun was pointing at his head would be a decidedly un-smart thing to do. `Get your hand off my arm' the voice dripped with menace but Gojyo knew he had to push this, he hoped Sanzo wouldn't kill him, he'd likely maim him but hopefully not kill him. He had to drive this point home.

`I'm not messing around Sanzo, I'm not going to fuck you over.'

`Get your hand off my arm'

`We traveled together for months, I stepped into deflect attacks from you countless times, I saved your life and you saved mine. I stopped you from falling to your death, isn't that proof enough that I won't drop you now? I've been there for you through all that, and you were there for me, I won't let you fall! For once in your life can't you let someone else help you, let yourself rely on something other than your gun?'

 

Silence stretched between the two young men, Sanzo's purple eyes boring into the half demon.

`Let go' the priests words were punctuated by the click of him cocking his gun. Gojyo relinquished his grip, casting his eyes down as the monk stalked away towards his own room. He leant back running his hands through his hair. There had to be some way of getting though to the miserable bastard and his motivation wasn't purely altruistic. He hadn't been able to take his eyes off the beautiful young man lately and his deepening concern about the monk's state of mind made him realize just how much he cared about their past leader.

 

xxxxx

 

Sanzo's heart was still racing as he made it into his room and slammed the door behind him, a solid barrier between him and Gojyo to replicate the barrier in his mind to block out his emotions. Only it wasn't working just now. All he could think of was the touch of the damned kappa's lips on his own and the sincerity in those warm red eyes. He closed his eyes and leant back against the door forcing his breathing to steady. He opened them slowly and his gaze slid to the still cocked gun in his hand. He raised it to his face, staring down the barrel, that single unblinking eye.

 

xxxxx

 

Gojyo was opening a fresh bottle of beer when he heard the gunshot, the bottle dropped to the floor, smashing and sending its contents washing around the youkai's feet. He sucked in sharply and spun round, sprinting towards Sanzo's room, thoughts rushing through his head. He practically ripped off the door handle in his haste, flinging it open he stumbled into the room. Sanzo stood with his back to the door, his smoking gun still leveled at the mirror, or what had been a mirror, its surface was now pocked and cracks radiated from a single bullet hole.

 

`Shit Sanzo you scared the crap outta me! And that's seven years bad luck' he added flicking a finger at the broken mirror and trying to keep the shake out his voice, his legs felt weak. He tried to pull himself together noticing for the first time that his friend's shoulders were shaking uncontrollably. A single sob escaped the priest and it was an even worse sound than his earlier cynical laugh. Gojyo had heard the screams of men dying, demons in agony, the tortured cries of innocents but this was somehow far worse. This sudden emotion from a man who better resembled a wall. A sob that was so pitiful and so much a cry for help.

 

He stepped forward and slowly, giving him chance to resist, folded the monk in his arms. Sanzo just seemed to collapse, turning round and folding against the red heads chest. Golden head bowed, body shaking from the sobs that racked his body. Gojyo just held him, not knowing what to say or do. He wasn't good at expressing his emotions in words, his speech of a few minutes ago having taken all he had. Sanzo solved the problem for the both of them. Tilting his tear stained face upwards his eyes stared unblinking into the depths of the half demons. He seemed to find something there that satisfied him. He raised his hand to the kappa's cheek, marveling at the warmth of the blush that spread beneath it.

 

Their lips locked together as Sanzo moved his hand from the singer's cheek, slipping it around the back of his head, entwining his slender fingers in the red of Gojyo's hair, pulling him closer. The kappa had never felt such need in a single kiss, the heat of Sanzo's lips and the gentle pressure of the fingers against the back of his head. He tensed with surprise as he felt the priests tongue slide along the seam of his lips, looking for entry. He slowly opened his lips and the blondes tongue slid against his own with an urgency that shocked and aroused him. He'd wanted Sanzo for so long, even if he'd only recently admitted it to himself and he had to restrain himself from guiding the monk back and throwing him on the bed.

 

The guitarist had his own idea's, throwing his gun to the side he clamped a hand on each of the lapels of Gojyo's denim jacket and pulled him forcefully back until they both tumbled onto the bed in a jumble of limbs. His fingers tugged fiercely at the kappa's clothes, wrestling him out of them while trying not to break their kiss. His mind was blank and strangely peaceful, in complete contrast to his demanding body that quickened with every moment that passed and every time he touched Gojyo's burning flesh.

 

The kappa savored the soft lips of the normally unyielding priest and the feel of his cool fingers against his skin. He began to unbutton Sanzo's shirt, baring the taught muscles of his chest and sending erotic thoughts chasing through his mind, so what if he was a pervy kappa? Both of them craved more contact and the warmth of the others skin. Sanzo's hands dropped lower, fumbling with his belt and trousers. The priest released a small sigh as the part youkai helped him slide his pants down, relieving the pressure on his growing erection. Gojyo broke their kiss, glancing down he gave a whistle of appreciation.

 

The glare Sanzo gave him reminded him of the tenuous nature of the sudden bond between them but as he pulled away the slight growl that broke from the monk's throat warned that stopping now would be a very bad move given that the banishing gun was not all that far away. Gojyo smiled at the need he'd awakened in the violet eyes and he swiftly dropped his lips to Sanzo's neck. Gently but insistently he sucked at the skin, bringing the blood to the surface, branding his new lover. He moved lower, his eager lips ghosting over pale skin.

 

Sanzo moaned at the onslaught, never had such emotion been sucked up from so deep inside him, or at least never such a powerful emotion that was not negative in nature. He'd let his guard down and for a second the darkness returned to his soul and he shuddered. Thinking it a shiver of pleasure Gojyo doubled his efforts. The kappa gently sucked on Sanzo's nipple, rubbing his tongue around it's nub he nibbled gently on it, pleased by the reaction it produced. The priest squirmed against the sheets, all dark thoughts slipping from his mind. Raising his arms he wrapped them around the kappa, slowly sliding them down his back, his fingers went further. Reaching inside his pants he squeezed Gojyo's firm ass.

 

It was now the half demons turn to moan in pleasure at the tight feel of the blondes fingers cupping his ass. Sanzo nudged him with his knee, rolling him over until he was on top. Planting one last kiss on the red heads lips he moved down, his hands quickly unzipping Gojyo's pants and stripping him fully. He took Gojyo into his mouth and slowly began sliding up and down his length, his skilful tongue only serving to increase the friction. The only sound in the room was the two men's heavy breathing and Gojyo's deepening moans as Sanzo increased his pace until the demon shuddered and released. Sanzo pulled back, swallowing before moving up and kissing Gojyo, insistently pushing his tongue into his mouth so he could taste himself.

 

Sanzo lay back against the sheets and slowly rolled onto his side, facing the kappa. Gojyo stared back, taking in the blonde's beautiful body before moving closer, pressing his body against him and seeking out his mouth. He could feel Sanzo's unsatisfied cock pressing against him and he lifted his head to whisper in the blonde's ear. `You know I'd do anything for you, you can have me anyway you want me'. Sanzo knew it was submission, how the hell did the damn kappa make it sound so much like a challenge?

`Got any lube' he replied at length

`In my room but that's just too far away, I want you now and I want it rough'. He rolled onto his back before reaching out for Sanzo's fingers and slowly beginning to suck on them.

 

Sanzo moaned at the pleasure generated just by Gojyo's tongue caressing his fingers but it was nothing to the moan given off by the red head as Sanzo inserted his first finger. He quickly prepared the kappa, waiting for him to relax before adding another finger. He stared down into those burning red eyes and for the first time truly allowed himself to take in the beauty of the sharp lines of Gojyo's face, the strength of his jaw and the hint of a smile that haunted his full lips. His hair and eyes, the colour of blood or wine might be a mark of taboo but they were undeniably beautiful, the fine scars accentuating his delicate cheek bones. He moved between his tanned thighs, closed his eyes and slowly slid into him.

 

Gojyo gasped and involuntarily tensed, Sanzo's hands caressed his ass relaxing him and comforting him. The kappa was already growing hard again and he reached down to stroke himself in time with Sanzo's thrusts. He groaned from the mix of pleasure and pain, clenching his teeth against the discomfort that soon passed. Sanzo quickly picked up the pace, urged on by the part demons rough caresses and drawn out groans. With a final moan of satisfaction the priest came, feeling the spurting inside him pushed the kappa over the edge and he released only seconds after, over the blondes chest.

 

Sanzo wanted to savor the feeling of being inside the arrogant front man, to enjoy the feel of Gojyo's ass clenching on him but the kappa had other ideas. He pushed Sanzo away, sighing as the monk slid out of him. He pushed Sanzo onto his back and began to lick at where he'd cum on Sanzo's pale stomach. Finishing his work he languidly laid himself out on top of him, pushing his face against Sanzo's chest and slowly licking at his nipples. Sanzo sighed wrapping his arms around the kappa in a contented and almost painfully tight embrace.

 

Sanzo was angry with himself, he couldn't justify his actions or why they felt so right. What felt alien to him was that he was enjoying not just the fuck but the fuck being Gojyo, this disturbed him more than he liked to admit. His passion spent he didn't want this time to end, he was content just to touch Gojyo's warm skin, to lick the salt of his sweat and feel his body pressed against him. The kappa folded his arms around the vulnerable blond, gently kissing him and savoring the smell of his hair.

 

With sudden urgency the priest leapt to his feet, snatching a blanket up to cover himself.

`Get out' he hissed with a vehemence that shocked and hurt his new lover.

`Geez Sanzo, way to make a guy feel used'. The monk leaned in and planted a lingering kiss on Gojyo's eager lips.

`We don't have a choice, the others will be back any minute, your rooms on the other side of the main suite, there's no possible excuse for you being over here.' Though he hated it Gojyo could see the obvious truth in the words. Grumbling to himself he collected his scattered clothing and hurriedly dressed. Sanzo hovered nearby, idly playing with the gun he'd retrieved from the bedside.

`Don't even think about it anymore Sanzo, I know you're a bastard but I'm sure even you wouldn't leave me hangin after that. We'll find time together away from the monkey and Hakkai.'

 

Gojyo opened the door and the two came together for one final kiss, warm breath and hot lips. As Gojyo pulled away, looking down into the blonde's eyes he was relieved to see some of the tension gone, some of the distance. For the first time in a long time Genjyo Sanzo was looking out though those eyes. A noise in the main corridor sent the kappa sprinting across the living room bringing a rare smile to Sanzo's face as he then turned and nonchalantly walked back to greet Hakkai and Goku. `I had meat buns! Lots of em' and beef and…'. The eager monkey's voice was cut off as Sanzo shut the bedroom door behind him.

 

He looked across to the bed, messed up by their love making and he smiled. Loving Sha Gojyo was going to be hard, keeping it a secret from Hakkai not to mention the music industry was going to be harder still but the young priest knew it would all be worth it. He had something to hold onto now, someone to help him and he was finally ready to accept that help.