Sonic Series Fan Fiction ❯ "Whose Line is it Anyway?": Sonic Style ❯ Weird Newscasters ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: The show "Whose Line is it Anyway?" is an official Hat Trick production, owned by Warner Bros. Thus, I don't own it. Any of the Sonic characters used in this story (with the exception of Pyra the Hedge-bat, Analog Hedgehog, Sparky the Chao, and Electrode the Hedgehog) are the property of Sega Sonic Team. The restaurant mottoes used just below are the property of Burger King, McDonald's, Wendy's, and the Olive Garden.

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(*cc*, or crowd cheers)

Host: Gooooood evening, everybody, and welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway?" On tonight's show, (camera faces Sonic) "Have it your way," Sonic the Hedgehog! (camera faces red hedgehog with bat wings) "I'm lovin' it," Pyra the Hedge-bat! (camera faces a purple hedgehog) "It's better here," Analog Hedgehog! (camera faces a Hero-Running Chao) And "when you're here, you're family," Sparky the Chao! (camera faces a dark-gray hedgehog, with black-and-red striped gloves, on the audience stairs) And I'm your host, Electrode the Hedgehog! C'mon down, let's have some fun!

(Electrode sits down at his desk)

Electrode: Welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway?," the show where everything's made up, and the points don't matter. That's right, they don't matter, just like popguns to the Mafia. (*cl*, or "crowd laughs") Now, if you've never seen the show before, what happens is these guys on the stage have to make up stuff for you right off the top of their heads. And at the end of each game, I give them points; I don't know why, just a little gag to hold the show together. And at the end of the show, I pick a "winner," and the "winner" gets to do something special with me. (*co*, or "crowd `ooh's") So that means Sonic, brace yourself. (*cl*)

Sonic: Say WHAT?!

Electrode: Never mind. Anyway, let's get started on our first game, which called "Weird Newscasters." This is for all four of you.

(*cc*; Sonic and Pyra get two stools from the side of the stage; they put them in the middle, while Analog goes to their right and Sparky to their left)

Electrode: Here's how the game works. Sonic, you'll be the anchor of a news show. Pyra, you are the co-anchor, and you discover that the news-board typist is typing random things on the board, but you follow along anyway. (*cl*) Analog, you will be doing sports, and you were a former host of the show "Unsolved Mysteries." (*cg*, or "crowd giggles") And, Sparky, you'll do the weather, and you are about to be the victim of a voodoo attack. (*cl*) So, whenever you here the music Sonic, take it away.

("Weird Newscasters" news-music plays)

Sonic: Hello, and welcome to the 6:00 news at - (looks at "watch") - 6:00. (*cl*) I'm Sonic the Hedgehog. Our top story tonight: 9 out of 10 people agree that 1 out of 10 people will always disagree with the other 9. (*cg*) Pyra has more on this story. Pyra?

Pyra: This story started out small, but then got way out of hand and grew into mass hysteria that unleashed Chaos into the world to destroy all lab test mice and - huh? (*cg*) - grow into a vicious, carnivorous plant that can also eat missiles, bombs, and tanks with ease. (*cl* during this) O shizl gzngahr, btttttttt-btttttt-btttttttttttttttt adflokarht baorthartva defurbvartnvo eeblocken-brackt - (growls) That's it's, you're gonna pay, you God-damned typist! But first, let's check what's going on in sports, with Analog Hedgehog. Analog?

Analog: (speaks in a slight monotonous tone) This is Analog Hedgehog for Unsolved Mysteries. (*cg*) Today, a strange force of nature dominated the minds of football players on the New York Jets. While in the middle of the game against the Giants, an argument broke out on the field, and left most of the Jets severely injured. No one knows how it started. Some believe it was because a Giants player slipped into the Jets huddle during the middle of a timeout. (*cl*) Others believe it was because one Jets player spoke his mind about the new stadium, saying it is a bad idea. (*cg*) But the head manager believes it was because they were planning a mutiny against him, and planned to replace him with Amy Rose. (*cl*) If you have any information concerning this disaster, call the WPLJ radio station. (*cg*) You know their number. (*cg*) I hope. (*cl*)

Sonic: Thank you for that scintillating report. And now, let's see what the weather has in store for us. Sparky?

Sparky: Boy, is the weather going to be nice this week. As you can see where my arm is pointing, there is a mass of warm settling in over us, and - (moves arm up and down; *cg*) wait a minute. Why is my arm moving uncontrollably? (punches himself in the head) Ow! (*cg*) It's voodoo! (does jumping jacks) Oh no, not jumping jacks! Anything but that! (*cl*) (punches himself over and over in the head) Ow! Ow! Ow! Make it stop! (runs over to Sonic, jumps up, and punches him; rolls around on floor) Who would force me to do that?

Sonic: Thanks a lot, Sparky. I'm guessing Eggman.

Sparky: (gets up and runs like Sonic toward exit) And he's bringing me right to him! Nooooo, I'm screwed!! (runs out of sight)

Sonic: This just in. Network executives change name of this show to "Scary Movie 4." (*cl*) I'm Sonic the Hedgehog, saying until next time, don't eat the Mystery Meat! (*cl*; *bzzz*, or "buzzer pressed by Electrode"; *cc* Sparky runs back on stage; Pyra and Sonic put the stools back; everyone sits down)

Electrode: Ok, 1000 points to Sparky just for hitting Sonic in the head. (*cg*). About time somebody hit him. (*cl*)

Sonic: No fair.

Electrode: And 1 point to Sonic for being the helpless victim. (*cg*; *cc*) We'll be right back for more "Whose Line?" Don't go away!