Trigun Fan Fiction ❯ Life Thereafter ❯ Regret ( Chapter 8 )

Disclaimer: How I wish I owned Trigun. Sadly, I own it not.

 

A/N: Over 3000 words AGAIN! I am spoiling you guys. Hehe... Anyways, it has come to my attention only a day ago that Reviewer Correspondence has been forbidden. Therefore, since I now have a cronic fear of infractions, I won't post any. If you have questions, I will be happy to email you with answers.

And now, on to the fic!

 

 

Regret

 

There was a loud rapping on the door.

“Sempai? Are you in there? Why aren't you up yet?”

Meryl groaned and turned over onto her back, face turned towards the ceiling. The warm, smooth sheets felt so good. Meryl didn't want to get up yet. It was too early. The pillow underneath her head was so comfortable, her shoulder-length black hair spread across its surface.

She opened her eyes blearily, searching the small room for some indication of the time. Meryl looked out the small window of her room. She sat up straight in bed in shock when she saw both suns had risen above the horizon and were already travelling across the sky in the westward direction.

How long have I been asleep? Meryl slipped out of bed but stumbled as she let her weight fall on her heels. Not long enough it would seem, she thought wryly.

She clasped her hands together and stretched them above her head, yawning widely. She ran her hand through her hair absentmindedly before walking over to the door, her bare feet padding softly on the wooden floor.

As Meryl walked, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. A petite, black haired woman in a long white T-short that reached midway down her thighs stared back at her. She paused, leaning closer to get a better look. A slight frown marred her smooth features as a closer inspection revealed shadowy bags underneath her violet eyes. Again.

She sighed. I guess it's to be expected. I really didn't get much sleep last night.

“Sempai?” The loud rapping came again. “Are you alright in there?”

“I'm fine, Millie,” Meryl called from within the confines of her room before padding over to the door and unlocking it.

The door swung open, revealing a fully-dressed Millie in her usual outfit. That in itself was puzzling because Millie usually wore overalls. Her work at the well required such clothing.

“Millie, why are you dressed like that? Don't you have work today?”

Millie shook her head. “No, Sempai. Today's my day off. I just thought I'd go out and buy a few extra things we might need.”

Meryl blinked. “Didn't you finish shopping for groceries yesterday?”

“Oh, yes. But I think we might need some other things. Like clothes.”

“I see. But you usually don't get up until much later than this on your days off, Millie.”

Millie looked puzzled. “But Sempai, it's a few minutes after noon right now. I get up around ten.”

“WHAT?”Meryl squawked. “It's after NOON?”

Millie nodded. “Sure it is, Sempai. Didn't you know?”

Meryl shook her head, stunned. She never slept past noon. Never. Even when she had been a child, she had never slept in like that. Meryl had always been an early riser. She had never gotten into the habit of sleeping in at any time in her life because she had worked through her teen years and early twenties for her education and later for her job at Bernardelli. So, sleeping past noon was unheard of for Meryl.

Well, I guess that's what I get for not being able to sleep until 5AM. Crying until you have no tears left can do that to you, she thought dismally.

“So, why did you wake me up by banging on the door?”

“Well, I was wondeing if you would go with me, Sempai. But I'm a little confused. Don't you have work today?”

Meryl's throat tightened. “No.”

“Huh? Why not, Sempai?”

Meryl took a deep breath. “Mr. Johnson gave me a week off,” she said, feeling slightly guilty about the half-truth she had just told.

“Oh, wow! That sure was nice of him, wasn't it, Sempai?” Millie said happily.

“Yes.”

“Well then, that's perfect! You can come with me, then!”

“Millie, I don't know if-”

“Hurry up and get ready, Sempai! We have to hurry if we want to avoid any crowds!” Millie called over her shoulder, already on her way down the stairs.

Meryl sighed and closed the door to her room once more. Millie seemed to be in one of those moods where she wouldn't take no for an answer. It was rather annoying at times, but Meryl knew Millie was only doing it out of concern for her friend. Millie was sure to have noticed something different about Meryl for the past day or so. It probably seemed perfectly reasonable to Millie to insist that the two of them to go out and do something fun together. They had done so in the past with some degree of success. Still...

Meryl began to pull on her usual attire. The same white uniform that she had always worn. It was in relatively good condition but only barely. She would either have to have a new one made or scrap it entirely and get an entirely new look.

The corners of her lips twitched upward. Perhaps this trip to town wasn't going to be so bad after all.

When she had finished, Meryl pushed the door open slightly and peered around the doorway. The hallway was empty, and except for sounds that seemed to be coming from the kitchen, the entire house was still and quiet. It was a little disturbing, but Meryl slipped through the opening into the hall, flinching slightly as the door creaked shut. Then she tiptoed past Vash and Knives's room and went down the stairs.

Millie was bustling about the kitchen when Meryl entered. Millie turned, a big smile on her face.

“Sempai, I fixed some leftovers for you! Here you go!” she chirped, pushing a bowl of steaming spaghetti and a glass of water into Meryl's hands.

Meryl smiled. “Thank you, Millie.”

“No problem, Sempai! But you have to hurry, or the shops will be much too crowded!”

Meryl nodded and took her seat at the table. She blew on the food lightly before twirling the pasta around the fork and taking a bite. Flavor exploded in her mouth, a mixture of hot tomato sauce and soft, ground meat with whispers of different spices and seasonings. Meryl savored it, thankful for being taught how to make this dish several years ago before leaving home.

As she ate, Meryl began to ponder last night's events. Her memory was hazy beyond the confrontation with (or flight from) Vash. She didn't even recall going to bed. She had assumed it was 5 AM since the tiniest rays of light had begun to sneak over the horizon. It had still been mostly dark outside, though.

Meryl sighed and pushed her plate away, which was almost immediately scooped up by Millie and washed. Meryl sat back in her chair, her stomach full. She twirled a finger about a lock of black hair, her expression pensive.

I don't understand. What Knives said about Tessla... They had a sister? I never knew...

She swished the water around inside her glass before taking a long, cooling sip. It was refreshing. Yet, she still couldn't help but wonder. So much had happened in the past few days, and Meryl found herself in one of the most bizarre positions imaginable, not to mention stressful.

Let's recap, shall we? I have a 130+ year old Plant living in my house who may or may not have feelings for me. And let's not forget the homicidal twin brother with a God complex who thinks all humans are insects. Oh yes, and he tried to kill me. Plus, (and I think I might be going crazy here), I feel like I'm more afraid of Vash than Knives right now. Seeing him that day was...frightening.

Meryl frowned slightly. Speaking of whom... “Millie?”

“Yes, Sempai?”

“Where are Vash and Knives?”

“Oh! Well, Mr. Knives is still in the room. I think he's asleep, but I don't know. I'm worried, though, Sempai?”

“Why?”

Millie hesitated. “Well, I heard loud voices upstairs and a door slamming so I went upstairs last night. Mr. Vash was slumped against your bedroom door. When I asked him what was the matter he looked at me and smiled faintly. His eyes, though Sempai, they were so...haunted.”

Meryl's throat tightened again. “And...what else happened?”

Millie looked thoughtful. “Well, I offered him his plate of food, but he wouldn't take it. Then he got up and went outside to the rocking chair. Last time I checked, he was still there, asleep with Kuroneko on his lap.”

Meryl nodded, unable to speak. It hurt her that Vash was so upset. Knives's last comment last night had been really heartless and just twisted the knife further. Yet, that's what Knives did. He was a cold, heartless bastard. Meryl knew that. But, she just couldn't bring herself to talk to Vash.

Meryl had known the instant Knives had crossed the threshold of her door that he would be difficult, that he was a murderer, and that he would sooner see her dead than look at her. His Plant-ness, as it were, was plain for all to see. But, when Vash has begun to Angel Arm in front of Meryl, she had just lost it. Vash had never displayed anything like that before. Despite the fact that Meryl had known Vash was a Plant, seeing it for herself when she had never seen any indication of it beforehand was quite a traumatic experience.

I wonder if I'll be able to bounce back from this. I know I've done it before, but after all this...can I still do it?

“Sempai? We really have to go!” Millie's voice carried from the door.

Meryl blinked. “Oh, sorry, Millie. I'm coming!”

Meryl followed Millie quickly out the door. As she took her first step off the porch, Meryl saw Vash still sitting in the rocking chair. He was slumped a bit forward in the seat, his right arm wrapped around Kuroneko, who was curled up around his arm. Yet, she saw him staring at her from behind his drooping golden blond hair. His aqua eyes were dull, and they pleaded with her. A shudder went down her spine as Meryl quickened her pace away from the house.

Millie led the way through town, Meryl walked by her side. The two were together. A team. Yet, for some reason, Meryl felt like something had come between them. It was more than the fact that they rarely saw each other because of their jobs. It was because both seemed to have their own emotional burden to shoulder and deal with on their own. Neither of them shared their problems with each other anymore.

Well, maybe we can change that today.

“Oh, Sempai! Let's look in there!”

Meryl looked in the direction that her partner was enthusiastically pointing at. It looked like a small clothing shop. Nothing fancy would be found there. However, Meryl didn't look for glamorous clothing when she shopped, which was not often. She looked for something practical.

“Alright, then, Millie. Let's see what they have.”

“Great! Let's go!” Millie chirped happily as she grabbed Meryl by the arm and began to pull her into the shop.

“Millie! I...can...walk...there...my...self!” Meryl huffed, attempting to yank her arm out of Millie's grasp.

“Come on, Sempai! Where's your sense of fun?” Millie asked mischeviously, eyes twinkling.

Buried six feet under... “Seriously, Millie, let go!” Meryl protested, beginning to feel a bit amused despite herself.

“Never!” Millie joked.

The two of them continued to bicker good naturedly as they entered the shop. However, they didn't care. It was good to goof off a bit with each other again even if their antics DID earn them some odd stares.

“Can I help you, madam?” a very formal clerk asked.

“Yes, you can, as a matter of fact! Will you get this overgrown child off of me?” Meryl groused, her arm still clasped firmly in Millie's hand, who was laughing silently.

The clerk raised his eyebrows. “Perhaps madam would prefer if I put her in time-out?”

Meryl saw Millie stuff her free hand into her mouth to stifle her laughter. “No, thank you, sir,” Meryl said, her face growing warm as Millie let go of her arm.

“Very well, then. What can I do for you?”

Meryl looked at Millie expectantly. “Oh!” Millie said. “Yes. Well, I need some casual clothes for men.”

The clerk nodded. “How large, madam?”

Millie gave him the exact sizes for Vash's shirts and pants. “Oh, and could you get two of each one, please, sir?”

“Certainly, madam. I will be right back,” the clerk said before leaving to search out the clothing.

Meryl looked at Millie quizzically. “How did you know Vash's size, and why did you get two of each?”

“Well, Sempai, Mr. Knives can't share Mr. Vash's clothes all the time so I decided to get him some. I just assumed they were the same size since they're twins. I got the sizes from doing Mr. Vash's laundry. He was never any good at doing it himself.”

“That's true,” Meryl agreed, her countenance drooping a little at the mention of Vash's name.

Millie didn't say anything for a while either. The silence between the two lengthened until the clerk finally returned with the clothing.

Millie had apparently ordered clothes for Vash and Knives from a catalog that had one come in the mail. The shirts were a variety of colors, but the color Meryl liked the most was a blueish-green color. Plus, Millie had also purchased some casual pants for Vash, including jeans and kackies.

“Millie, how much is all this going to cost?” Meryl asked, her eyes widening at the amount of clothing.

“Don't worry about it, Sempai! I got a raise from the foreman the other day.”

“Well, alright,” Meryl said hesitantly. “But don't spend too much!”

“I won't! Oh, Sempai! Look at these!” Millie said excitedly.

Meryl followed the path of Millie's gaze towards a rack of overalls.

“Wow! I've been wanting a new pair for ages, Sempai! Can we go look? Please?”

Meryl sighed. “Alright. But that doesn't mean we're getting anything!”

“Sure thing, Sempai!” Millie said happily before rushing over to look at them.

The selection wasn't that great. However, it wasn't because the overalls weren't nice looking (although some were really ugly). They were impractical. For example, who would buy a pair of multi-colored silk overalls? The answer would be: No one practical.

Meryl shook her head at some of the other ones. So ugly, some impractical, some practical but ugly, some skin tight, some too baggy, some just completely and totally bizarre. It was ridiculous. In addition, whenever Meryl found one she liked (even though she wasn't technically supposed to be looking for overalls), they were too large for her.

“Millie, I think you're going to have to give up on another pair of overalls.”

“Oh, Sempai! What about this one?”

Meryl looked at the one Millie was indicating. It was nice. Meryl had to admit that. It was a faded blue jean pair of overalls. They were a little worn but still in relatively good condition. Meryl looked at Millie.

“These are nice.”

“Aren't they, Sempai? And look at this pair I found for you!”

Meryl looked. The overalls were petite, a good size for her. They were also a sandy color, a few shades lighter than the desert sands of Gunsmoke. As she lifted the overalls off the rack, drew them close to her, and looked down, they seemed to be a perfect fit.

“Oh, Sempai! That would be great for you!” Millie said.

“Millie, I shouldn't.”

“Nonsense, Sempai! It'll look great on you, especially with a black shirt!” Millie insisted.

“Well...”

“Come on, Sempai! Don't be such a party pooper!”

“Ok, ok! I'll get it!” Meryl said hastily.

“Hurray!” Millie cheered. “You need a new outfit, anyway, Sempai. Besides, it's more casual.”

“Millie, this is not something I could wear to work.”

“I know, Sempai, but you already have a specific uniform for your waitressing job. Loosen up a bit!”

“Well,” Meryl said, slightly mullified, “alright. But just this once.”

And with that, the two friends added three more items to their already large pile of clothes, two pairs of overalls and a black T-shirt to go with Meryl's pair. The two left the shop, each heaving a few bags of clothes. After all that, Meryl decided to treat the two to ice cream.

Meryl ordered a banana sundae, but Millie just wanted some chocolate pudding. When the ice cream man said he didn't have any, Meryl had to restrain Millie from jumping on the poor fellow. So, she had to settle for chocolate ice cream instead.

Meryl smiled as he ate her sundae. It really had been an enjoyable day. She had almost forgotten what shopping for clothes was like. It had been such a long time. Of course, Meryl had never been much of a shopper, but she still enjoyed the relaxed feeling she had when she went on an outing to buy clothes. They had spent a few hours in the store. The time had gone by quickly. And now the suns were setting.

Meryl took another bite of her sundae. “Millie, thank you for bringing me with you today. I really enjoyed it.”

Millie smiled. “No problem, Sempai! You need to get out once and a while. All work and no play isn't good for you!”

Meryl chuckled. “That's true, I suppose.”

There was a companionable silence until...

“Hey, Sempai?”

“Hmmm?”

“Can I ask you something?”

Meryl blinked. “Sure.”

“Well,” Millie hesitated, staring down at her ice cream, “I was just wondering why you and Mr. Vash won't talk to each other?”

Meryl stared, almost not believing what she had just heard. “What makes you think we won't talk to each other?”

Millie sighed. “Sempai, how could I not notice? Both of you are miserable, but neither of you will tell me what's going on. I'm worried.”

Meryl sat very still. “Millie, I just-”

“No, Sempai! Let me finish!”

Meryl gaped at Millie. Her friend looked like she was ready to cry. Her shoulders were heaving as her lower lip quivered ominously. Millie's sky blue eyes were growing teary.

“Why can't you talk to me?” Millie demanded, her voice thick. “I know you think you're shielding me, but you're only making the pain worse by bearing it alone! And you're making it harder for me because I have no idea what's wrong with my best friend!”

Meryl was aghast. “I'm so sorry Millie! I didn't know you felt that way! Why didn't you tell me sooner?”

“Because,” Millie sniffled, “I thought you and Mr. Vash would work things out on your own last night. Why couldn't you two talk to each other?”

Meryl hesitated. “Millie, I...”

“Sempai, I just can't stand to see the two of you apart like this! I know how you feel about Mr. Vash. Why don't you act on it? My Big Big Sister always told me to never hold back in matters of the heart. Sempai, that's what you're doing!”

Meryl looked down into her sundae. “Millie...I just...I can't...”

Millie looked near tears again. “Sempai, it's not right! Do you know how much I wish I had the opportunity that you have with Mr. Vash?”

Meryl snapped her head up, her gaze meeting her friend's grief-stricken eyes.

“I only had one night with Mr. Priest before he left us! And now, here you are with the perfect opportunity, and you're letting it slip away from you!”

Millie stood up abruptly, knocking her chair over as she raced away, sobbing her broken heart out.

Meryl sunk her face in her hands, regret etched on every line of her face. She really wished it were that simple. She really wished she could turn back time so that one thing had never happened. She really wish she could stop Millie's tears. But she couldn't.

Her own frail weaknesses that marked her as a human prevented that. Her own insecurities, her own fears, her own humanity kept her from doing it.

Maybe Knives is right after all, she thought darkly. Maybe we do deserve to die. Yet we still cling to life on this rotten piece of dirt.

Meryl sat there for long time, not even caring that the suns were beginning to set. Her mind went blank as she stared off into the distance. The last thought that entered her mind was how she was going to carry all the clothes bags home by herself.

 

 

-sniffle- Oh, the drama!

Knives: Tcch.

-glares- You shut up! I'm being sad for the characters right now!

Knives: You're such a sentimental fool.

You know what, Mr. God-Complex, I think the gavity of your offense calls for a more heinous punishment.

Knives: I locked Kuroneko in a closet so he is of no use to you, pathetic human!

Hehe... Who said anything about Kuroneko being your punishment? I have a herd of tomases!

Herd of Tomases: -charge at Knives-

Knives: I DESPISE YOU! -runs all around trying to escape the stampeding herd of tomases-

Muwahahaha!