Trigun Fan Fiction ❯ Tolerant Patience ❯ Past Pains, and a Moment of Clarity ( Chapter 4 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Author's Notes:

Disclaimer: Hello! ^_^ I don't own Trigun!! ^_^ I don't get any profit (unless reviews count -_- () )... I don't own Trigun.

This is a permanent key....

\Insert noise\ = Mechanical devices "Insert word(s)" = Talking
-- Insert thought(s) -- = Thoughts directed to certain telepathic people aimed to be picked up. I.e. hold a conversation without moving lips.

/ Insert thought(s) / = Captive person's thoughts.
>Insert thought(s) > = Intruding thoughts pushed in from telepathic person.

<> Insert thought(s)<> = Rin's skimming frequency... those thoughts she picks up. (other symbols may be added to show a distinct feel to different people's, unless of course they all feel the same, which generally happens with people Rin doesn't know too well... random townspeople for instance...)

!! Be on the look out for Japanese words !! :
Tousan-- Father (A more formal way of saying father would have an 'O' before it making 'Otousan')
Tongari-- Airhead
Itai!-a sound to mean Ow! Or Ouchies! Or Ouch! Or... well you get the picture.

Pronounciation key:

'Tousan' is "Tohh-sahn". It's kinda hard to explain inflections, but do make the 'Oh' sound longer than the 'Ah' sound.

'Itai' is "Ih-tye"... .. 'Ih' short 'I' sound. ...

Hehehehe, Yesss.. Story shall continue!!


Warning! Some violence ahead.

Any and all Nick's past are purely theoretical on my behalf, except for the idea of killing his father with a gun at the age of 7 ... I just made a workable excuse for it.

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She was avoiding the question.

That's fine by me. I leaned back letting my stomach settle from eating. I wasn't expecting her to answer any of my questions.

And while she seemed hesitant, I'm sure that she was completely honest with me.

Which made me feel rotten.

I wasn't exactly truthful on the issue of my parents.

My mother had been an attractive woman, petite with a smile that brightened anyone's lousy day. My father. I don't really remember much, other than he was a good two head's taller than Mom.

He was a nice guy, before his drinking addiction began.



When he found himself jobless, my father turned to drinking.

He often only came out of his fixed drunken stupor when he needed to get another drink; but, usually, because of our financial instability he couldn't find one.

He'd lash out at anyone within arm reach; generally, I was always there at the wrong place, at the wrong time.

I'd get the shit beaten out of me. After he was finished, I'd limp back to my room to hide.

Surprisingly, he never touched my face. So I continually hid it from Mom.

She was out because she had found a job as a waitress to try to bring food to the table.

But, things got only progressively worse.

We started having barely a scrap of a meal two times a day.

And then she found out.



Lately, I had been avoiding skin contact. Mom took it as a phase at first. But I flinched, when she raised her hand to place on my shoulder; she knew something was wrong.

She tried coaxing me out of my shirt, at first. I wouldn't. She backed off.

The next time it happened, she didn't.


I was cornered, curling into a tight ball and shaking.

She tentatively touched my upper arm, and when I showed no sign of pushing her away, she firmly held me, whispering soothing words to me.

I relaxed, finally, and she pounced onto that opportunity.

Before I quite knew what was happening, I was shirtless (and pantless); she was stifling a sob.



"Who did this to you?"

I looked away. I couldn't stand how she looked at me. Those eyes.

I couldn't bring myself to say anything.

She looked closely at me. "It's that drunken bastard, husband of mine, isn't it?" She tried to peer into my downcast eyes. "Isn't it?"

I shook my head at her.

"Oh, it's not?" She stopped my head shaking. "Then, why don't you meet my eyes, and tell me that, hm?"

I meekly raised my eyes. "Tousan's not.." She raised her hand, (I flinched again) to smooth my hair down.

"Did he threaten to hurt you more?" She asked softly. I didn't answer.

She tilted my chin with her finger, and held my gaze. "Don't worry about doing any chores tonight. I think I can handle them." She placed a kiss on the top of my head.

She left.

I felt a chill go down my spine.



The next thing I knew, she told me that we were leaving. When I seemed rooted to the spot, she grabbed her bag and my arm (only gripping some old bruises), dragging us towards the back door.

Father saw us. And tried to stop her.

They fought.

That's when he became so angry he grabbed a knife... and...

Diced her. Over and over again.

Blood. Screaming. Was it my own?

My field of vision was red.

There's my mother's fear-filled glassy eyes. Staring at me. She's mouthing at me.

Ru..n.. Aw...way.

I heard a strangled gurgle.

She's dead.

I looked up to see the murderer. His crazed eyes and grin.

He saw me, and, in his blood glazed fury, came after me.

I ran to his room, heard him stumble after me, and grabbed a loaded gun lying precariously on his desk, jumping out of the room through the only window.

I crouched behind a trashcan nearby.

He came barreling through and accidentally tripped into a garbage pile on the other side of the window.

Cursing he tried to stand back up, but found he couldn't.

I chose this moment to reveal myself.

When I saw recognition click behind those dim eyes, I lifted the gun and shot him through his black heart.



That's all it took to stop him.

A bullet.

Yep, and I could see Tongari get all upset over it too.

Enough reminiscing. I had washed my hands of my bloody past along time ago. The only thing left to do was to let it go. Besides, that airhead made me promise not to kill anyone ever again.

Yes, I did wonder if Rin's hands were clean of bloodshed. And if she blindly followed whoever taught her her morals, like Vash.

I got up and started clearing the table.There hadn't been any incidences where she had to defend herself, so I can't tell. I don't even know if she can use a gun. My best guess is that she is just as stubborn as Vash about not killing, but not afraid of taking the lives of dangerous, insane criminals.

I put away the extra food in separate containers and placed then in the fridge. She had said to make enough for three people.

I plugged the sink, started the water, and added some soap.And Knives, I believe, would definitely fit under the 'dangerous and insane' category, and, so would Legato. But she hadn't raised a finger to harm either one of them. But then again she frequently tells herself out loud about 'keeping a promise'. Maybe to remind herself??

I waited for the sink to fill and began washing dishes.

Maybe she just gives everyone a second chance. Heck, most of those kids in the Half-way house she takes care of, probably wouldn't have been touched with a ten foot pole by normal orphanages. Most have serious mental problems or other psychotic-related illnesses.

And I'd hate to admit it, but if there was anything to be salvaged of Legato, that Rin's his best hope.

Of course, her mental powers help alot. And then she has that natural ability to read people. And I don't mean just with her telepathy.

She promised to pick up only loud thoughts directed at her, and yet, she continually reads me like an open book.

She always keeps her promises.

So, I trust her not to delve to into my head without permission. After rinsing the last dish, I placed it in the dish rack and unplugged the drain. I removed the food that got trapped and threw it away.

After washing the remainder of soap off of my hands and out of the sink, I turned off the water and picked up a towel to start drying.

The only thing I can get from this whole thing, is that it has to do with Plants. But what exactly? I heard Vash stopped an unstable Plant when the technicians all thought there was no hope in Inepril, and then he destroyed Augusta...but there was July City before that...

I looked at the last dish in my hands that I had been turning over with a towel in my hands. I placed the plate in the stack and put away the dishes.

Feh, I'm doing menial labor. What has she done to me? I think I'm enjoying it a bit too much.

I turned off the light and walked into the darkness of the living room. I knew the place by heart so- ITAI!! Damn, coffee table.

I groped out and felt the couch. Collapsing onto it I tried to get comfortable on the thing but failed. I was not used to sleeping out of my bed.

Why is she sleeping in the guest room.?--To see to Legato if he needed anything. You know, for being old she should know better than to sleep next to a psychotic person.

Wait, no he's a sociopath isn't he? He realizes what he's doing... but I don't think he thinks its wrong. What would you call that?

Rin deals with psychotic kids all the time; Legato shouldn't be any different, would he?

I mentally frowned.

And what's with those scars? They reminded me of Vash's.

And Legato's left arm?

Vash was missing his and had it replaced... how had he lost his left arm?

Different complexions. Scars about where Vash had his mechanical arm attached.

I grimaced, kneading my left bicep.

Legato always seemed to think it was funny when he termed himself "Knives' left hand man".

I eyebrows furrowed.He.. He.. What?!

Knives did that to the most loyal of all his 'pets'?

It didn't make any sense. Why would Legato stick around, unless he...

Cloaked by darkness, I rested my hand on my face.

Could it possible that a twisted creature such as Legato was in love?

Oddly, it made sense.

Legato had his own sense of selflessness. He did anything that would please Knives.

Anything. Including killing. Repeatedly if only to make him a little content.

Because if Knives wasn't satisfied, he was irritated, angry, or extremely pissed.

I still couldn't believe that I had played like a puppet into his hand either.

I sighed, turning onto my side.

After about 8 minutes of moving around trying to get comfortable, I sat up, leaning backwards. Damn, can't get any sleep.

Heaving a sigh, I dejectedly climbed the stairs and sat my butt next to her closed door, making sure I was out of the way and folded up in a comfortable manner against the wall.

And, the saddest thing is, I thought, grimacing as I nodded off to sleep,is that I don't think Legato even realizes it.

That he's fallen in love with the puppetmaster.