Urusei Yatsura Fan Fiction ❯ Ataru's Onihood... ❯ Prologue... A morning of ominous portents ( Prologue )

Disclaimer: I don’t own Urusei Yatsura. UY belongs to Rumiko Takahashi, VIZ and some such.
“Spoken”
-Thought-
*Sound FX*

Urusei Yatsura: Ataru’s Onihood…

Prologue: A morning of ominous portents

Moroboshi Ataru woke up to a normal morning. First things he became aware were Jariten, who was squished under his elbow, and the alien princess Lum who was staring at him from the closet in which she usually slept in. Ataru frowned at this unusual scrutiny and demanded “What are you staring at?” with a tone that was mixture of irritation, satisfaction and worry.

The green-haired girl blinked before smiling prettily at her ‘husband’, who was at the time deliberately squishing the squirming Jariten with his elbow, and said “Darling… I was just thinking about how nice it is to see you first thing in the morning…” Ataru only grunted while dodging a small blast of fire from the irate Ten. He lost his concentration when Lum innocently added “It would be so much nicer just waking up next to Darling… wouldn’t it.”

The momentary loss of concentration cost him a rather ‘warm’ breath straight to the face, to which he reacted by grabbing the conveniently placed frying pan and batting Jariten to the wall. Lum simply sighed at the usual morning antics of her cousin and ‘Darling’ who were now engaged in a fierce fight in which insults, flames and miscellaneous flammable and non-flammable objects were thrown whichever way. She sighed again before making her way downstairs and to the inevitable warzone that was the Moroboshi breakfast table.

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Ataru was absently kicking a small pebble that was on the road as he walked towards Tomobiki high school with Lum hovering several meters to his right. The breakfast had been as per usual with him and Ten fighting but that really wasn’t the thing that bugged him. Rather it was the fact that he had lost concentration from a simple remark from Lum. He wasn’t attracted to the Oni girl… not in the least… nope… not at least until he graduated from high school… until then Lum was simply a nuisance that hampered his skirt chasing.

Not that he would admit it to anyone, even to himself, but after that incident with Prince Rapa, Rupa or whatever his name was, Ataru had cut down his skirt chasing with almost one third with the intention to quitting it altogether after graduating. If cornered by his own conscience he would argue that Lum was a princess and thus marrying her would secure his own future without the need for boring things like school and the like… but that was the only reason, seriously. Of course that particular train of thought would imply that he was in someway or form interested in marrying Lum, which was of course untrue… entirely untrue.

His internal debate was rudely interrupted when a certain bald and wrinkled excuse of a monk popped in the middle of his field of vision. Ataru let out a loud yell of “KYAAA!” followed by some hacking and wheezing as he tried to regain his breathing and stop a major cardiac arrest before it claimed his life. After a tenuous moment he whipped out a large wooden mallet and smashed the monk with it. “Damn it Cherry… quit it already with the close-ups on your hideous face… you nearly gave me heart attack.”

The monk, Cherry, simply pointed a finger at Ataru’s face and said “You… there’s an ominous shadow on your face… something bad will happen to you if…” He got no further when Ataru again swung the wooden mallet and sent the monk sailing towards the horizon, all the while yelling “And quit with the ominous shadow crap too…” As Cherry vanished in a blink of light Ataru cursed inwardly about -Damn that monk… he just lives to make my life miserable… and now the morning is ruined and everything… damn him.-

There was light at the end of the tunnel however, as an opportunity in the form of a young lady presented itself. Faster than normal eye could track Ataru appeared next to the said lady with a pen and notebook in hand and cheerfully questioned. “Ne, Ne, Ne… What’s your address and phone number?” This was all done while creeping closer and closer to the unfortunate girl.

This did not sit well with Lum who became angrier by the moment and soon enough the smell of ozone began to permeate the morning air. With a loud yell of “Darling repent!” and a crackle of electricity, one Moroboshi Ataru received his first ‘Zaks’ of the day. After few moments of electrocuting her errant ‘husband’ Lum decided simply to leave the writhing ‘Darling’ and turned to fly towards their school while muttering to herself about ‘Darling no Baka’.

Ataru on the other hand wasn’t too fazed by the electrocution, he was used to it after all. He did decide to abandon his skirt chasing though, as his target had fled while yelling “It’s still alive… it’s not human… it’s a monster” Ataru sighed, another misunderstanding… it wasn’t like it was his fault that he had built up a resistance to Lum’s ‘Zaks’. Or perhaps it was, but only slightly… Lum was overreacting to everything as usual. Speaking of Lum… Ataru glanced at the direction she had flown to and suddenly paled.

With speed no one would have believed him capable of Ataru ran towards the righteously pissed off Lum who was still preoccupied with the earlier incident and blissfully unaware of the impending doom that was closing on her in the form of an errant truck. With a loud yell of “Luuummm!” the famous lecher of Tomobiki high lunged forward to propel the alien princess clear of the trucks path…

There was a sound of metal meeting flesh, a crack of bones and then a loud scream of “DAARRLLIIING!!!!”

A certain airborne monk heard the loud cry and mumbled to himself. “It’s fate… Naman da… Naman da…”

A/N:

Post Manga/Anime fic, uses manga as base but will have Lum’s stormtroopers (Megane, Chibi, Perm and Kakugari) in this along with Kosuke.