Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ zelos ❯ mission ( Chapter 13 )

zelos

by myka

chapter 13

A/N: Well…Here it is. The final chapter of 'zelos'. What can I say, it was great. I hope it was as much a blast for you to read as it was for me to write. In answer to Chibi-chan's question in ch11. Yes, I do plan to write more Weiss fics. Thanks a bunch to all who reviewed, especially all those who took the time to do it after every chapter. Thank you. Hope you like and enjoy.

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I have to go.

It's time.

Omi gave me a spare watch at my request. I realized I've been moping all day like I've lost a lover. But he's not my lover when he doesn't love me.

By six, the ache that had been consuming me finally turned into anger. I want to hurt him. I want to hurt him, just like he hurt me. I know it's childish and stupid and very unlike me and I also couldn't care any less.

I'm going to kick his ass. Then…then I'll have to do my mission. Let's just see if I survive that.

If he's still there that is.

No one had bothered to ask me where I had spent the night last night. So I never told. I heard they were leaving, I'll find out if he's really gone when we get there. Part of me still wants that, to find him gone and out of my life, that way I could forget. That way I wouldn't have to make this decision. And still…I keep having this ominous feeling…like the fates won't be so kind with me.

Everything feels surreal, getting ready, regrouping downstairs, even the drive there. Ken acts normal, which tells me they haven't told him yet. Omi tries to act as normal as possible, but I can feel some sort of resentment towards me. Aya has reached a point where he isn't even looking at me; much less talking. I deserve the treatment; I've been betraying their trust for the past two months, now I wonder if I'll ever get it back.

The car screeches to a halt. I'm the last one out. Someone gives directions and we all part ways. Was I supposed to go through the back or to the roof? Does it really matter? My feet move on their own, in the same direction I went last night. I don't remember going up the ladder, I don't remember opening the window, then suddenly I'm standing in his room again. Dark. The lamp's off. I walk towards it and turn it on. I gaze towards the bed; the only sitting spot in the room; knowing already what I'm going to see.

My hearts skips a beat at the sight of him. I came here with anger, fury; I came here wanting to inflict the same ache I had felt; I came here to kill him.

And unsurprisingly enough; I can't.

But I don't have to do it; sooner or later the others will find this room; all I have to do is not stop them.

"Why didn't you come this afternoon?"

His voice is calm, just like the calm before the storm. It tells me nothing. "I didn't have any reason to go." I answer just as flat.

"You heard…didn't you? You heard what Brad said?"

I keep my mouth shut; he knows I did; he knows I heard. "Weren't you leaving the country this afternoon?" I ask in return.

"You didn't come…"

This time the words show emotion; sorrow, pain. How dare he…

I have the sudden urge to wrap my hands around his throat; so that's what I do. I force him down on the bed, pinning his body with my own; pressing it with all my weight; he doesn't even try to stop me. "Stop…" my voice is forced, dry, I feel the anger rising again "stop talking like you care, you lying son of a bitch!"

Pain forms in his face and I stop immediately without even noticing; just like instinct. I just stopped trying to choke him the instant I saw that pain. The light is creating shadows; I can hear his ragged breathing and suddenly I'm angry with myself. I moved around; getting off him and slipping off the bed, standing up after I do so. I stare at the lamp on the opposite wall, giving my back to him.

"Leave…"

He rises; I can hear it. Why isn't he leaving? I turn around to look at him; our shadows are plastered on the wall; he's staring at mine. My voice comes out clear, emotionless, "The others will be here any second. Leave." He stays still. Why does he keep staring at my freaking shadow? Can't you even face me? I've had enough of this.

I rush at him and grab him by the shoulders, dragging him off the bed and throwing him to the floor. "You got what you wanted, I can't kill you. Leave!"

I snatch the space between his shoulder and his elbow and force him up the floor; dragging him. I know I'm behaving like a bastard…and I don't care. The only thing I don't understand is why isn't he fighting back? Why didn't he leave with the rest of his team? "Go!" I yell. "Inform you boss on how successful your mission was."

I want him out of my sight; I want him to leave out that damn window so I would never have to see him again. So I could finally forget all this; so my pulse will stop accelerating every time I think of him. I still have a strong hold of him when he finally turns around to face me after what seems like forever.

"God, Yohji…I love you"

He pours everything he is into those words; I can tell…but I refuse to believe. There just have been too many lies…I won't believe.

"I don't believe you"

He grabs my hands and holds them between his own. "Then why am I still here? Why didn't I leave along with the rest of my team?"

"Lack of good judgment?" I mock softly.

He ignores my words and just holds my hands tighter. "Listen to yourself! I'm trying to tell you that I love you…just like you love me."

A sudden surge of anger consumes me and I instantly shake his hands away. "And I'm telling you that I don't believe you!"

"Then why did I sleep with you?"

I open my mouth to mutter a reply but nothing comes out. I close my eyes, wanting everything to disappear. I open them instantly when I feel his touch again.

"If you don't believe my words, believe this." He throws himself at me and kisses me; and along with the kiss come the visions. He's doing exactly what I told him not to do ever again. I'm not ready. They come crashing like this immense weight full of everything; regret, anger, pain and love. I see and feel everything he wants to show me; I can't avoid it, I can't escape it. I see when his boss found out, I see when he refused to take an order to kill me. I see how the Oracle told him that he wasn't Schwarz anymore if he stayed. But most of all; I feel what he felt when I first kissed him; and how he discovered for himself that he loved me when I was inside him.

He breaks the kiss, still holding to my neck as for dear life. I take a deep breath once the visions stop, but the emotions still remain. I open my eyes slowly and look at him. He loves me…just as much as I love him. I wrap my hands around his waist and kiss him back as pure bliss overpowers me. I have the urge to thank someone, anyone. He's mine…I'm never letting go.

"What the hell's going on here?"

My eyes snap open and the kiss is broken at once. I turned around to face my teammate.

"Ken…"

Schuldig and I let go of each other and I position my body in front of Schuldig, placing myself between him and Ken. Siberian stares at me in disbelief, he was the only one that didn't know anything, this must be a shock to him. His voice expresses that shock. "Omawe…you dis…traitor."

"Wait Ken"

"Get out of the way Yohji!" it's an order, one that I should and would've obeyed any other day. But this is not any other day.

Ken…even after what you just saw…even after that…gomen ne…

"No"

"What?"

"I'm not moving."

He pulls out his claws and gives a step forward. "Move Yohji!"

"No!"

He gives another step forward and I prepare myself, ready to defend the one I love. "Listen to me Ken! It doesn't have to be this way! Just listen…"

He moves another step forward, then another, then suddenly he stops in mid-step, his body suddenly frozen, a glaze look on his face. His eyes close and his body falls to the floor with a loud thud. I go to him and check his pulse. Strong and steady; he's just unconscious.

"We better get going before the others arrive." I glance over at Schuldig who just spoke.

"You did this" I say in form of a question. He nods. "He'll be up in an hour…we better hurry Yohji, if someone else comes I won't be able to do that again. This is a one time trick." I stand up, taking up what his words mean. And yet I still need to know, I want it all to be clear, this is a big decision.

"Are we running away?" I ask at the same time I look at him straight in the eyes. He walks towards me and grabs my hand making me look at him. "What other choice do we have?" His words sink in, he's right. Right now running is the only way we can be together. He starts to pull me away and I give one last look at Ken before following him.

So this is it, isn't it? This is what I have to choose isn't it? My family or my lover. It can't be both, not now, maybe not ever. This love I feel right now; it may end someday. But all I have is now.

We go out the window and down the fire escape in a matter of seconds. The fire ladder ends up at the end of the alley. The alley feels cold and something sends shivers down my spine. It feels like we're being watched.

"Yotan…"

I glanced over at Schuldig to find an uncertainty in his eyes; but he's not looking at me. I turn around without hesitating, just towards the alley's only exit.

Aya…

Our only way out is blocked.

"Aya"

My eyes lock to the self declared leader of Weiss, and he stares back. His face tells me nothing as he slowly raises a hand and places it on his katana. A panic devours me.

"He isn't Schwarz anymore…Aya!"

Aya grapples his blade instantly and begins to pull it out slowly out of its sheath until the katana is completely exposed. I'm being ignored. My voice comes out urgent, desperate as my pulse fills with dread.

"Aya listen to me!" My fingers touch my watch instantly; it's a reflex, an unavoidable one. But using my weapon is the last thing I want to do right now, using it means force, violence…this isn't about that. I don't want to use it. Aya starts to run.

"Yohji don't!"

I embraced my lover instantly, ignoring his words and placing our foreheads together, giving my back to Aya as I do so. I'm not loosing him; I force him into a corner; the only way to him is thru me. I shut my eyes. He has to stop, he will stop, Aya is my family, he's the only family I've had in a long time…I trust him.

I feel nothing, then suddenly something pours over me like fire, and no matter what I do I can't stop it. I open my eyes slowly and gaze at my lover just to find pain flowing through his eyes and the tip of a blood soaked katana. He parts his lips gently and his body shakes; he gags, and a small drop of blood falls from the corner of his mouth.

Why, Aya?

The katana is pulled out and immediately Schuldig's body slumps forward, immense pain and sorrow flaring through his eyes. He holds on to me with all his strength and everything I have goes out to him, to keep him in my arms and to remain standing up.

"Yohji…"

"Shh…don't talk. Keep your strength Schu."

"Why Yohji?"

"Hush…"

"Aishiteru"

My legs finally give up too and I fall to my knees, still managing to keep my hold on my lover. I shift his head in my arms to look at him better and find his eyes closed.

"Schuldig…Schu…"

I lower him towards the floor slowly, placing his head softly against the concrete floor and placing my hand on his forehead. I close my eyes and take a deep breath; and for the first time since all this started; I'm crying.

I cover my mouth with my other hand to try and silence the sobs coming from my lips. I feel Aya besides me and listen to the sound of his katana being placed back in its sheath.

"Aya!"

I listen to the new voice now, alienated from it; the sobs refuse to stop. It can't be Ken, Schu said he wouldn't get up in an hour, must be Omi.

"Aya! What happened here, did you find…" There's a pause. "Yohji!"

Why is he calling me? Why does he sound worried?

"Yohji! You're bleeding! What happened Aya?"

Bleeding? Me? No…it's not me…Schu…Schu won't open his eyes when I call him. It hurts so much. Why is it hard to keep my eyes open? I feel something, something warm…here…

I touch my side; just where I feel the warmth coming from; and stare at my blood soaked fingers; soaked with my own blood.

That's right…Aya.

Aya chose to run me through in order to get to Schuldig.

"We have to get to a hospital now!"

I slump forward and fall on top of my lover. My eyes are closing and my breath slows down, it's getting darker…and still the tears won't stop.

~~~

Everything's a blur. Whatever I'm looking at; it looks like a room. A pasty colored, mildly depressing room. Hospital.

Little by little things start to come into focus and I see the roof, the bed, I glance to my right to find a lamp, the table its on and Omi starring at me.

"Good morning."

I glance away, not being capable to face him. I open my mouth and find my voice, dry and horse, but still there. "How long was I out?"

"Two days."

I'm afraid to ask; but do so anyway. "What happened?" I glance at him again, making sure to make eye contact and letting a rising anger flow out of my voice. "Why did Aya stab me?"

He blinks slowly, his eyes hold a secret, he sighs. "Aya, Ken and myself were told to watch out for other Esset assassins that were hanging around Schwarz's quarters. We were also told that three Schwarz members had left the country earlier that day."

"Give me the short version" I interrupt as I start to take wind on what's been really going on. He sighs again.

"We knew Schuldig was left behind and that Esset had sent spies and assassins near his location on what we believe were orders to kill him…and you."

"Why did Aya stab me? Why did Aya killed…"

Omi grabs my right hand and I hush. "Please understand our position Yohji; we didn't know why you had been meeting with the telepath, but we figured that it began when you started going out with such frequency. Kritiker believed you were planning on betraying us, that you were selling us out to Esset."

"I would never…" He lets go of my hand and signals me to be quiet, so I do.

"Let me finish" he orders. I nod. "Me and Aya refused to believe that, and that was the point of the mission. Not to kill Schwarz; but to see were your loyalties laid."

Huh?

I glared at him instantly, feeling very, very angry and hurt too. Hurt that they didn't trust me enough to confront me directly.

"You should have killed me too."

"I thought I told you to let me finish." He added. I let out a grunt, still pissed at them all. "That new watch I gave you contains a small microphone. Aya and I heard everything you talked about."

The heat crept up my face instantly and I suddenly wanted to vanish from existence. "Everything?" I asked awkwardly.

He smirked. "I have to admit we weren't expecting that." He said with a touch of humor to his voice, one that suddenly turned serious. "Do you really love him? Do you really love Schuldig?"

The question catches me by surprise and my chest tightens at the mention of his name. Schu…

The mention of him causes it. Causes me to remember everything about that night. I have the sudden urge to dig my head into my pillow as I try to avoid the tears that promise to come any second now. Everything comes back to me, all the pain, blood and fear. But also the love…

"Aishiteru"

I took a deep breath and tried unsuccessfully to keep the hurt out of my voice. "You didn't have to...Why did Aya…" Then the hurt was replaced by anger and frustration, a boiling anger that rose until it was all I could feel. I sat up in a flash, ignoring all the pain; directing all that anger at Omi and saying a silent prayer thankful that Aya was not the target of that anger. "Why'd you killed him? To spite me? Why? You didn't have to kill him!"

Angry tears pour out of my eyes and I am unable to stop them. Omi is suddenly there, holding my wrists, trying to calm me down.

"Yohji!" He's almost screaming, digging the words into me, but I don't want to listen, they took him away from me. He's very persistent. "Our orders weren't to kill Schuldig but to take him in!"

I stop. Repeating his words over and over in my head. Take him in…

Something tells me to turn around and I do so.

Schuldig lies in the bed just a few feet beside mine. Instant relief pours over me, relief combined with a type of joy I've never felt before. I immediately throw my feet to the side of the bed and stand up, removing the I.V from my arm in a painful pull. I stand up and the second I do so, me legs give out.

"Yohji! You're going to pull your stitches out!"

I cursed at myself and at my body for not being able to support me. I ignore everything and drag myself up, reaching my goal.

I stare. My hand ends up on top of his forehead and I swipe some of his hairs away. I lay my head on his chest; it's vital for me to hear his heartbeat right now, I need to feel his chest rising up and down for every single breath he takes.

"I'm sorry Yohji"

I raise my head slowly and turn to look at Omi, who stands by the end of Schuldig's bed. "Why?" I ask, sensing something in his voice.

He takes a deep breath and I try to ready myself for what's coming. "In order to get rid of Esset, we had to make sure they believed you and Schuldig didn't pose a threat to them, and in order of Esset's usual ways to get rid of threats, that meant killing the both of you." He stopped and I glanced at him waiting for him to continue.

"You're dead again Yohji."

"What?"

His face forms into what could be consider a smile. "You even had a funeral and everything." I gave him a confused look.

"Funeral?"

"Yes…small, family only, secret; I didn't know Manx could cry on queue. Also; our spy inside Esset has informed us that Schuldig's 'death' has been officially declared too. They won't be coming after you anytime soon."

Pure relief fills me. I feel like laughing; we are dead; this is wonderful. I grab Schuldig's hand and place a soft kiss on it. Thank you…

Omi touches my shoulder, making me look at him. The look on his face drains every sip of joy inside me. He speaks slowly, emphasizing every word. "Aya avoided every single major organ when he ran his katana through you both. But…"

He pauses and it's killing me…just tell me. "But what?"

"He's in a coma Yohji."

~~~

Schuldig was fine; physically at least. He just wouldn't wake up. The worst thing is, we don't know what's wrong. It's been three days since that night; barely twenty-four hours since I woke up. I finally got the green light from the doctor to step out of bed and sit by Schuldig's side two hours ago. That's where I've been ever since, which means I haven't slept in twenty-four hours.

They've raised theory's that the reason Schuldig's not waking up has something to do with his telepathy. Even though his vitals and brain waves are fine. That, for some reason he shut down his mind. That's the theory…and in some way I know that it's true. I was there. I remember how it felt…and that explains why I didn't feel any pain when Aya's katana ran through me. He took it all, took it all into himself, took it all for me.

And now he's not waking up. I hold his right hand between mine, twirling my thumb slowly over his fingers. Hoping…praying.

A door opens and I look over towards it; it's Ken. Kritiker has ordered us; well, me; to stay inside this structure. I'm under an official house arrest. Which is fine by me; I wouldn't leave Schu's side either way.

"How's he doing?" Ken asks softly.

"The same" I answer back earnestly. Ken was also kept in the dark on the real objective for that night's mission. They wanted to test my reaction under the scrutiny of one of my teammates. That meant Ken was kept in the dark so his reaction would be natural; he wasn't very happy about that. Aya received a good old punch in the face when he told Ken about it. Fine by me…when I saw Aya with a black eye I told him that he was lucky he didn't have two black eyes. But he just grunted and ignored me. It's good to have the same old Aya back.

Ken slumped against the opposite wall and shut his eyes. I glanced at him as a soft smile formed on my face. "You're still weird out by all this aren't you?"

"Yep" he replied quickly, and I let out a laugh. He sighs and I can feel his indecision. "Come out with it Ken" I push.

"We have a mission tonight"

"Let me guess…I'm not counted in it am I?" I ask, surely of the answer.

"No…not for a while" he answered. "At least not until Esset is gone; we can't run the risk of them seeing you when they're still active."

Point taken. "I understand; anything else?"

He gave a step forward, detaching his back from the wall. "You should get some sleep Yohji; it's not healthy."

"He's like this because of me…I want to be here when he wakes up." Ken opened his mouth and I give him a look to show that I'm serious; he closes it nodding slightly then leaving the room.

I turn my head towards my lover. Please Schu…can you hear me? Please open your eyes.

Ken's right I should get some sleep, I'm exhausted. I rest my head on my lover's chest and close my eyes letting the comforting darkness known as sleep take over me.

~~~

"Yohji…"

"Nani?"

"Yohji…"

"Schu? Schuldig is that you? Where are you? Why won't you wake up?"

"I need your help Yohji"

"Tell me, tell me what to do, I'll do anything!"

"It could be bad Yohji. It will hurt."

"I don't care! I just want you to open your eyes!"

"Then you should have fallen asleep sooner."

My eyes snap open and I stand up instantly. My head full of knowledge on what I had to do. I go to the door and lock it, no interruptions whatsoever. I walk the few steps back to Schuldig, sitting down on the bed then sprawling myself on it. I lay on my side, beside my lover as I grabbed his hand and held it. I grappled his body, turning him on his side so we were facing each other. I stared at his closed eyes and his expressionless face for a long second before joining our foreheads together. Then I do what he told me to.

I think of him, only of him. I linked us together. Our minds, our bodies, I give myself out to him.

I feel a small prick at my side and suddenly it's that night all over again. A psychic flashback.

I see myself going for my watch, then hesitating, then choosing to protect Schuldig with my own body instead of fighting Aya. Then it happens again, but this time, when Aya's katana pierces me, I feel it all.

I scream.

I knew that in order to wake up Schuldig I had to relive that moment; I just never though it would hurt this much. This is what he chose to take for me, all this pain. Now it's my turn to take it for him.

When Aya pulls out the katana, I scream again. Somewhere distant I hear yells, orders and a frantic knock on a door; but right now they don't matter.

I fall on my knees again and hold my lover's head once more, I remember not seeing his eyes. But not this time, this time pools of emerald return my gaze.

"Hello kitten…"

~~~

Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep…

I slammed my hand forward, successfully killing the clock by my bed. I hate morning shifts…

Don't we all?

A body stirs beside me and I turn to loom over Schuldig who was smirking at me. I frown.

"It's your fault I'm tired, you kept me up all night."

"Yeah…well, I didn't hear you complaining." He said with a touch of humor to his voice.

I grunt, sitting up and throwing my legs over the bed, towards the floor. He sits up too, wrapping his arms around my bare waist. He presses his chest against my back and kisses the spot between my neck and shoulder.

Life's good. Yeah…we hid and we lied and we had to be pierced by a blade in order to be free. I should know, I have the scar to prove it; one that matches his own scar every time we make love.

It's still weird for them; Aya, Ken and Omi; living under the same roof as an ex-Schwarz member. Sometimes Ken still jumps at the sound of his voice. A habit that usually leaves Schuldig laughing his ass off. They'll eventually get use to his presence; but I don't think they'll ever get used to the fact that he's my lover. Especially the noises; I'm thinking of giving them all earplugs for Christmas.

Working on the flower shop has become a full time job, now that I can't join the rest on my team on missions. At least not until Esset disappears. This is fine by me; that means every time Aya, Ken and Omi are out on a mission Schuldig and I have the house all to ourselves.

And right now…I wouldn't have it any other way.

~~~

~fin~