Yami No Matsuei Fan Fiction ❯ Hanging By A Moment ❯ One-Shot

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Ok, this is my first YnM/Tsu x Hi fic.... it's also a
lemon... I suck at characterization, IMHO, but I hope
this is not too terrible. ::places fic down and runs::


Title: Hanging By A Moment
Author: Shinigami's Angel (Shi-chan) -- utenakat@yahoo.com
Archived: Promise of Darkness
Category: Songfic, Yaoi, PWP(?)
Pairings: Tsu x Hi
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Lemon
Disclaimers: I do not own YnM, wish I did, but, alas,
I do not. But I guess, since I get no money from this,
I can play with the characters. Song belongs to
Lifehouse.
Summary: Tsuzuki and Hisoka have a fight over
something that happened during a mission. Tsuzuki
makes a retort that strikes a nerve in Hisoka and the
boy runs off. Now Tsuzuki must find him and figure out
some things for himself.....



Hanging By A Moment
--------------------------

Tsuzuki sighed as his partner continued to rant on
about his childishness, when he himself was showing
just how young he really was. All he'd done was stop
at the cake shop they passed and bought himself a
snack. What was so childish about that? "Yare yare,
Hisoka...."

Jade eyes narrowed and that pout of irritation, that
Tsuzuki had come to adore, appeared on the coral pink
lips. "Baka yarou.... why can't you grow up!"

Tsuzuki sighed. "Why can't you?" (Uh oh, bad move,
baka.) Tsuzuki thought as the evergreen eyes glazed
over in anger. Tsuzuki was sure Hisoka would yell at
him for that, but instead the younger shinigami just
turned and stomped out of the room.

"Oiya.... Ne, what was all the ruckus about?" Watari
asked, popping his head into the room.

"Hisoka's angry again."

Watari sweatdropped. This was a daily ritual between
the two shinigami. Tsuzuki would do something and
Hisoka would yell at him for it, but eventually they'd
cool down and, sometimes, even apoligize. Their fights
were often heated, prooving to Watari beyond a doubt
that the two were meant to be together, but they
usually didn't end in Hisoka running off. Watari
sighed and adjusted his glasses on that pert nose of
his. "Tsuzuki, you need to go after him. Apoligize."

Tsuzuki sighed. Watari was right, and it was his fault
that Hisoka had run off. "Damn..." he muttered,
grabbing his coat off the rack. Vaguely he heard
Watari sing-song a cheerful good-bye, but his mind was
on finding his missing partner.


Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started
I'm chasing after you


Where had the baka gone? Tsuzuki'd looked all over the
place, everywhere he thought the boy would be.
Sighing, he sat down on a park bench to think. (Where
could he be?) he thought to himself, resting his
forehead on his folded hands. (Why do I want him to
come back so much?) The answer was easy. He liked
Hisoka... really liked him. He'd been chasing the boy
ever since they'd met, from the moment jade locked
with violet and the worlds had stood still. It wasn't
just the boy's beauty, though that was wonderful and
breath-taking. It was the person Tsuzuki knew was
behind that cold facade. The scared little boy who'd
been deprived of love, affection, life... and had died
all too young. Yes, he knew he loved him.... had known
it.... but now he wanted to act on it.

"Yosh!" he said, standing up. "Now to find him!"

-----

Tsuzuki searched the city, high and low... looking
every place he knew the boy could go. (Where are ya,
partner.... please... I'm sorry....) he thought as he
hurried down a busy street.

"Sumimasen," came a quiet voice as he nearly tripped
over a passer-by. Startled, Tsuzuki grabbed the person
by the shoulder, turning the boy to face him.

"Hisoka..." Tsuzuki sighed in relief.

"Hanase..." Hisoka hissed, shaking the hand off.

"Hi-hisoka.... I--"

"Leave me alone...." Hisoka interupted, walking off.

Tsuzuki was getting irritated. Here he'd come to
appoligize and Hisoka was being unreasonable....
Jogging to catch up, Tsuzuki grasp the young
shinigami's shoulder firmly and drug him into an
alley. "Now you listen," Tsuzuki said, pressing the
boy up against the brick wall. Shocked evergreen eyes
blinked at him. "I came to apologize and you shrug me
off like I've beaten you, well you're gonna listen."

"Tsuzuki..." Hisoka breathed.

"I'm sorry for making that comment earlier.... I've
been looking for you ever since," Tsuzuki said,
releasing the boy. He looked down, then back into the
bottomless green eyes.


I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held on to
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you


"I love you."

Hisoka's face drained of color, shocked by Tsuzuki's
words.

"I've loved you since we met," Tsuzuki said, violet
still locked onto jade. "You've shown me there was
something to live for... or at least stick around
for..." Tsuzuki tried to joke. He placed his hands on
either side of Hisoka's head and slowly, ever so
slowly, lent in to place a soft, chaste kiss on the
stilled pink lips.

Hisoka didn't move as Tsuzuki lowered his lips to meet
Hisoka's own. He didn't move when Tsuzuki pulled back
ever so slightly, his warm breath tickling and sending
shivers down Hisoka's back. "I'm not moving until you
make me...." Tsuzuki whispered.

Hisoka didn't move. Fear was gripping him, his insides
screaming at him to run, fast and far.... but his mind
was yelling back that this was Tsuzuki... and he... he
loved him. That last clicked in Hisoka's mind and his
knees buckled. He was sure he'd hit the ground, but
Tsuzuki was there to catch him. He was always there to
catch him. (He loves me...) was his last thought
before the dark of unconsciousness claimed him.

-----

Tsuzuki looked down at the boy once again occupying
his bed. (Though not the way I wish....) he thought,
then mentally thwapped himself for his hentai
thoughts. (He's not ready for that.... and if he even
feels the same as I do, it will be a long time before
we get that far....) He sighed, brushing a lock of
golden hair back and tucking it behind an ear.

"Nnnn," Hisoka murmured, turning into the feathery
caress.

-----

For once, Hisoka's dreams were not filled with the
horrid touches and smirks of Muraki, but with soft
endearments and feather-light caresses of someone
else... His partner, Tsuzuki Asato.... He sighed, a
faint trace of a smile gracing his lips.... Tsuzuki
loved him... that's what he'd said. He could feel that
love when they touched, the warm throbbing, pulsing
like a heartbeat. He liked the feeling of being
loved.... it was... new and pleasant. Slowly, hesitant
to leave the wonderful dream for fear that reality was
not as he remembered, Hisoka woke.

-----


Forgetting all I'm lacking
Completely incomplete
I'll take your invitation
You take all of me now


"Morning, sleep head," Tsuzuki said, smiling down at
the blinking jade eyes. "Have a nice nap?" HIsoka
nodded, which surprised Tsuzuki for usually the boy
woke from terrible nightmares, trembling with fear.
"That's good!" He said cheerfully.

Hisoka sat up slowly, blushing when he found himself
once again in Tsuzuki's bed. "Na, Tsuzuki...."

"Hmm?" the violet eyed man asked, his violet eyes
shimmering in curiosity.

"Did you mean what you said in the alley?"

Tsuzuki smiled mentally and decided to have some fun.
"What, about being sorry? Hai. I'm sorry...."

"No... not that...." Hisoka fidgited with the hem of
the sheet.

Tsuzuki looked curiously at him, enjoying watching the
blush rise to those alabaster cheeks. "What then...?"

"When... y-you said... you-you loved me..." the last
was whispered, barely audible, as Hisoka stared down
at the covers.

Sliding closer, Tsuzuki lifted the down turned chin.
"Hai...." he whispered, leaning in to place a kiss on
soft lips. Before he could, though, Hisoka pulled
back.

"Ya-yamero...."


I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held on to
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you


"Gomen.... I should ask first...." Tsuzuki said,
running his thumb along Hisoka's bottom lip.

Hisoka shook his head, "It's not that.... it's....."

"Shhh," Tsuzuki cooed. "I know, I understand...." he
drew the boy into a comforting embrace. He felt the
boy relax against him, letting himself be held....
Tsuzuki sighed, it felt right to hold Hisoka that way.
(I'll never let go... as long as it's what he wants
I'll never let go.)


I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and I question where to go
And I don't know what I'm tapping into
Just hanging by a moment here with you


"Tsuzuki..." Hisoka whispered.

"Hmmm....?"

"I.... I'm afraid...."

"Of what?" Tsuzuki asked, holding Hisoka away just
enough to where he could look into the deep evergreen
eyes.

"I want to love.... to..." he blushed, "But...."

Tsuzuki chuckled and hugged him close. "Don't worry
about that...."

"Muraki, he...." Tears welled up in Hisoka's eyes at
the memory.

"I know...." he soothed. "I know...." (How do I
convince him love's not that way?) He kissed the crown
of Hisoka's golden-brown hair, breathing in the rich
scent of his shampoo. "I'd never hurt you, Hisoka....
never...."

"I'm afraid.... but... I-I want to know...." What
exactly did he want to know? He wanted to know that he
wasn't worthless because of what Muraki had done to
him. He wanted to know what love was.... what it felt
like to be with the one you loved. He realized that he
did love Tsuzuki. He'd known it deep inside for a long
time, but only now knew how to recognize it.... He
recognized it because he felt the thrum of it all
along his nerves, in his mind, the repeated mantra of
affection and devotion.... it was enough to make him
cry for joy. "I... I love you..."

Tsuzuki heard the whispered words and his heart
soared. Hisoka loved him. He was so elated, he pulled
the boy closer basking in the knowledge that his
beloved returned the sentiment. They sat there, just
feeling. Hisoka had opened up and they were one...
synchronized, heartbeat for heartbeat.... breath for
breath....

"Will you... let me show you how good it can be?"
Tsuzuki asked cautiously. He watched as Hisoka thought
it over, uncertainty flitting over the delicate
features. Then, much to Tsuzuki's delight, he nodded.


There's nothing else to lose
There's nothing else to find
There's nothing in the world
That can change my mind
There is nothing else
There is nothing else
There is nothing else


Slowly Tsuzuki lowered Hisoka back on the bed. Slowly,
button for button, he removed his soon-to-be lover's
shirt. He continued to move slowly, teasing the flesh
he exposed with butterfly kisses. Hisoka arched up
into the fleeting caresses. (This is nothing like
then.....) he thought way in the back of his mind. All
other thought ceased as Tsuzuki brushed a slightly
caloused thumb over his nipple, the tiny nub pebbling.
A whimper escaped his lips and Tsuzuki leaned up to
swallow his whimpers and moans as he teased his lower
body.

Tsuzuki reached the button of Hisoka's pants, slowly,
as not to startle the boy he loved with all his heart,
he undid the clasp and teased the zipper down. Hisoka
started when he felt the fabric slip down his slim
hips, but reminded himself that this was Tsuzuki and
he wanted it and that Tsuzuki loved him and would not
hurt him.... Soon, Tsuzuki had his erection freed of
the confining fabric and the boy lay gloriously nude
before him.

"Kirei...." Tsuzuki breathed, ravaging Hisoka's
perfect body with his violet gaze. He was rewarded
with a crimson blush and lust glazing those emerald
depths. That lust gave the shy boy a burst of
confidance and he sat up, tugging at Tsuzuki's
clothing.

"Please..." he breathed, untucking Tsuzuki's shirt and
fumbling with the small buttons. Tsuzuki brushed the
slim, fineboned fingers out of the way and quickly rid
himself of the offending garment. Just as quickly, he
was out of his pants and they were both under the
covers, hands roaming.

Tsuzuki's nimble fingers sought and found Hisoka's
tender spots, his weak points and watched as the boy
squirmed under his teasing. He slowly stroked the
sleak back, massaging the tense muscles there. Hisoka
practically melted in his arms, arching up against him
and rubbing their erections against each other,
causing both to moan as the electricity to thrill
along their nerves. Tsuzuki was finding it difficult
to hold back, but he wanted Hisoka enjoy their first
joining....

"Mmmm.... Tsu... zuki.... Mmm, please!" Hisoka moaned,
his hips grinding against Tsuzuki's. So much for
waiting for Hisoka. He bent his neck, kissing the
blond boy passionately before rolling them over,
placing himself on top. He kissed his way down the
boy's muscled chest, paying extra attention to the
pert little nipples. Hisoka gasped, his head thrown
back. Tsuzuki's arousal throbbed as he watched his
love feel the pleasure he was giving him. Quickly, he
reached to the stand beside the bed, grabbing the
little jar of Vaseline sitting there.

He watched the green-eyed boy's face as he slid a
finger into his right, puckered entrance. Watched the
surprise, then pleasure as Tsuzuki began to stroke
him, stretch him. He took extra care to stretch his
love fully so it would be as painless as possible, he
didn't want Hisoka to concentrate on the pain, only on
the pleasure. He was pleased to hear the whimper of
distaste when the fingers left the boy's passage. Even
more so by the gasp of pleasure as they were replaced
by something far larger.

Slowly, ohhhh sooo slowly, Tsuzuki pressed himself
into Hisoka's channel. Hisoka was sure he'd die of the
torture if Tsuzuki didn't hurry up and get in there.
It was like heaven and hell. He couldn't help but
remember when Muraki'd.... but then here he was with
Tsuzuki and it felt.... it felt like he was on fire
and frozen all at once. His nerves were singing and
sizzling with the energy he felt from their joining
and his mind was a fuzzy white noise, blinding in its
haze. Then he felt Tsuzuki stop, fully seated in his
passage. He wanted to scream at Tsuzuki to do
something, move, and now! But he knew that Tsuzuki was
allowing him time to adjust and that Tsuzuki would
only move when he knew it would cause Hisoka no pain.

Tsuzuki felt the muscles surrounding his member relax
and he knew then that he could move. And move he did.
He pulled out to where the tip of his swollen erection
was sthe only part of him in that tight, pleasurable
heat, then slammed back in.

Hisoka was blinded by the pleasure that surged through
him. His vision swam and all he saw was sparks. His
mind was so gone all he could do was focus on the
intense pleasure radiating from deep inside him and in
his groin. Just when he thought it couldn't get and
better, Tsuzuki hitting that pleasure spot with every
thrust, his lover reached around to grasp his weaping
erection in a long fingered hand and began to pump in
time with his thrusts.


Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started
I'm chasing after you


Pleasure, sensory overload.... Hisoka came violently,
crying out Tsuzuki's name. The clamping of his
internal muscles around Tsuzuki's turgid member sent
him chasing after his beloved. Somehow, he kept
himself from collapsing long enough to pull,
hesitantly, out of Hisoka's tight channel and lay
beside his lover. He pulled the panting boy close,
kissing him deeply. "Mmm, love you, 'Soka-chan...." he
murmured into sweat dampened hair.

Hisoka was too exhausted to reply, instead he just
snuggled against the sweaty chest, sinking into a
blissful sleep.


I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held on to
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you


Tsuzuki watched as the boy slept, curled against him.
He smiled as a soft whisper of a smile ghosted the
young shinigami's kiss bruised lips. (I made him
smile....) he thought blissfully. He continued to
watch the boy until the sun peaked over the horizon
then let himself follow his love into dreamland, happy
in the knowledge that he was the one to make the
normally cold boy open up, love, and smile.


I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and I question where to go
And I don't know what I'm tapping into
Just hanging by a moment here with you

Just hanging by a moment
Hanging by a moment
Hanging by a moment
Hanging by a moment here with you


Owari