Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Parenting 101 ❯ Whatever You Are ( Chapter 1 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Parenting 101

Bleeding Ankh

Disclaimer: ..Do I even need to say anything? Well, just so I don't get sued.. which would just give you pocket lint, some string and 37 cents, I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! If I did, then Seto Kaiba would be an angsty person who writes poetry and likes Manson.. evidentially that isn't the case.

Warning: This story contains shounen-ai (male homosexuality), yaoi (guys going at it with other guys), harsh language and violence. No flaming me, or I'll greatly harm you. If you have issues with any of the topics in bold, then go and read a nice G rated piece.

WARNING!!!! WARNING!!! SEX IN THIS CHAPTER, HETEROSEXUAL SEX! (sorry guys, plot development!) YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

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Bleeding Ankh: Ok.. chapter 1! Like I promised! Ok, sorry about the first chapter, I check back for incase people review, and sometimes the page shows everything in HTML format, sometimes it doesn't, and it reads normally. I thoroughly apologize to those who were unfortunate enough to get screwed over with the HTML crap. Just so that doesn't happen again, I'm not touching it. Well, ON WITH THE STORY! ..ahem.

Answers to reviews: You haven't reviewed?! What is your problem?! I asked nicely!!

Rainy- *grins* Interesting? Of course!

Sweets- *laughs* Wow, you can really pick out a plot line! *grins* *imagines little Jonouchi plushies*

Blah- Um.. I'm really sorry, but in Japan they put peoples last names first. (I should know because I have a friend who lives in Japan) since they read from right to left there. Also, in later issues of the manga, they introduce Katsuya Shizuka, his sister. But, thanks for it being interesting!

Al- *grins* Why, yes, yes I do.

Dark Selene- *grins* I love it too. See my response to Blah, for your answer. (You did spell his name right.)

Alostblackcat- No, I don't plan on making it one of those. No real angsty crap, this fic is for people who are tired of depression and want something to lift their day. (like it does to me when I write it!!) *grins*

Muin bien- *grins and laughs* I hope so, or I'd feel bad.

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Key:

"blah" - talking

`blah' - individual thoughts

/blah/ - Yugi to Yami mind link

//blah// - Yami to Yugi mind link

(blah) - Ryou to Bakura mind link

((blah)) - Bakura to Ryou mind link

<blah> - Malik to Marik mind link

<<blah>> - Marik to Malik mind link

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Song: Dizzy By Goo Goo Dolls

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Whatever You Are

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You're cynical and beautiful

You always make a scene

You're monochrome delirious

You're nothing that you seem

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"Fuck! Shit! Damn it!" The mongrel shouted after school let out, soon after the plastic baby started crying.

"Would you shut up?! It cries if we scream!" Seto whispered pointedly, taking the key and turning the baby off. `Damn, a month with the pup. He must be angry with me punching him this morning. ..Just great.'

"Who fucking gives a shit?! I'm stuck with Stick-In-Ass Kaiba for a month!" Katsuya growled out. Seto just rolled his eyes. `This is going to be one hell of a month.'

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I'm drownin' in your vanity
Your laugh is a disease
You're dirty and you're sweet
You know you're everything to me

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"Who's house are we staying at for the month?" The mutt asked. Not that Seto cared, but he didn't like spending his time at other people's houses.

"Well, if you want, you could stay at my house in the guest room." `Right next to my room.' He added silently. `No! Away from your room, on the other side of the house!' "Unless you'd prefer if we spent the month at your house."

"No!" Katsuya almost shouted. "I-I mean, your house is better." `Jonouchi's hiding something from me. But what? .. Why do I care?! Damn it Seto, you're getting too soft for your own good.'

"All right, my house. Get your stuff and arrive at four. It's two-thirty now, giving you more than enough time." Seto stated nonchalantly. He was getting bored, allowing his mind to drift to the golden haired puppy, which was dangerous territory.

"But what about the baby?" Katsuya asked, pointing to the plastic baby still in Seto's arms. Seto sighed. He had completely forgotten about it. `I must be such a great parent.' It was crying again and he turned it off. If things were his way, he'd have thrown this thing in the nearest garbage can an hour ago.

"I'll take it, you're probably less than competent to handle it." Seto replied walking off to his awaiting limousine, leaving the mongrel fuming behind him.

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Oh, everything you are
Falls from the sky like a star
Everything you are
Whatever ever you are

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Seto checked his watch for the umpteenth time. The mutt was late. `Where the hell could he be?!' He already made certain his guards let the dog into his mansion, and that he would be informed immediately, but still nothing. That stupid mutt was twenty minutes late. `Does he not trust me to have a washing machine?! Or is he just taking his sweet time so I have to take care of this metallic crying mass?!' Just then, the baby started crying. "God damn it! Shut the fuck up!!" `Now, I'm screaming at plastic!' He thought as he jammed the key into the back of the baby.

"Sir, a young man who says he's `Jou' is standing outside. He has blonde hair and is carrying a large suitcase." Seto rolled his eyes. `Finally!'

"Let him in." Soon after that command, he heard Katsuya yelling.

"Damn it Kaiba, where the hell are you in this mansion?!" Seto walked into the main foyer and spoke coldly,

"Well, if you don't mind lowering your voice, less the chandelier falls down. Follow me, I'll lead you to your room." `Which one? The one by the kitchens or my room?!' Seto wasn't thinking of where he was going or realizing the fact the Jonouchi was following him and realized he was down the hallway where his bedroom was. `Well, that answers my question.'

Seto opened the door to the guest room. Jonouchi was awestricken. Seto thought the room looked rather plain. It had a king sized bed covered with dark green silk sheets, and about ten pillows with the same covering. The walls were painted white with little roses painted on them giving the illusion they were crawling up the wall. The main lighting was a chandelier hanging in the middle of the room with carvings of roses on the glass plates to match the walls. There was an oak vanity by the door and two oak nightstands on either sides of the bed. There were also a few dark green couches and tables with golden lamps throughout the room as well. There were two walk-in closets and one attached bathroom. The bathroom was painted crème color with splashes of a goldish-yellow color. It had a shower, a bath and a Jacuzzi all in dark forest green. The bathroom also had a counter with marble sinks installed, the sinks matching the crème color of the walls and the counter top matching the bathtub. Seto cleared his throat, and waited for the mutt to pick up his jaw from off of the floor.

"This will be your home for a month."

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I wanna kill at the machine
That made you piss away you dreams
Tear down your defenses
Till there's nothing there but me

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Later that evening, Seto knocked on Katsuya's door to see how he was doing. `It's being a good host. There are no emotions.' When he didn't hear a response, he quietly opened the door and saw the mutt asleep. He smirked lightly, until he saw giant bruises all along Katsuya's stomache. His eyes widened slightly before putting the blanket over Jou before hearing Jou mutter something.

"..I want the candy bar.." Seto almost laughed.. almost. `That dog even dreams about food!'

Slowly he counted to ten in his head before tapping Katsuya lightly on the shoulder. The canine didn't even stir.

"Puppy.. wake up." He spoke sternly. The mutt didn't even flutter an eyelid. Then Seto got an idea. He picked up one of the pillows and smacked the mongrel with it. Katsuya woke up instantaneously.

"What? Where? Huh?" He sputtered out, before realizing where he was and calmed down some.

"Dinner time." Just the thought of food seemed to wake the mongrel up more.

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You're angry when you're beautiful
Your love is such a tease
I'm drowning in your Dizzy noise
I wanna feel you scream

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Katsuya seemed to be cramming food into his mouth at an alarming rate, like he hadn't eaten anything in days. Seto, on the other hand, was taking care of the baby and eating a bowl of soup. He looked down at the still half full soup bowl and felt full.

"Do we have ta' feed that ting?" Seto heard Katsuya ask.

"No puppy, but I can configure it to make it have the capabilities of minor speech." Seto stated. When he didn't hear a response from Jonouchi, he lifted his head to see the mutt looking at him with laughter in his eyes.

"So it can call you mommy?" Katsuya laughed. Seto grinned.

"Or.. it can call you mommy." The puppy looked at Seto with utter astonishment.

"You're smiling!" He cried, making his half smile grow. Seto tried to suppress his grin, but could still feel the laughter in his eyes.

"In rare moments, yes, I do smile, and even more rare, I laugh." Seto stated matter-of-factly, but his laughing eyes gave him away and Katsuya laughed. `If only he knew how beautiful his laughter sounded.' Seto thought and mentally sighed. `Just shut up, you don't like him and for the last fucking time, he's not beautiful!' Seto knew he was gay, it occurred when he was fifteen.

She was the most popular girl in Domino High. She was also the most beautiful. She must have had the aura of an angel. Blonde hair that fell softly down to her waist along with crème colored skin and bright green emerald eyes made her any guys dream date. Luckily for Seto, she liked him and wanted to date him, only she was a senior and he was a sophomore. Her name was.. H? Hiromi? Hiromi Vasquez! That was her name. Seto thought he felt some emotion toward her, until that day.

"Oh come on Seto, just once, I'll teach you how, I promise." She squealed.

"But.. shouldn't that be something you save until you're married?"

"Stop acting like a fucking ten year old and come on!"

"Fine." He sighed. She was leading him into her room and smiling the whole way there. Did she think just because he.. to put it blatantly, fucked her, means she gets half of his corporation to own?

"Oh, whoops, I forgot the condoms! Silly me! Now we don't have any protection." That was exactly her plan. `For a senior, she is one fucking idiot.'

"Don't worry, I have some. We'll use those." `I'm a fifteen year old and they give out free condoms at the nurse, does she expect me not to carry one around?' She looked crestfallen.

"Oh.. all right. Come on then." `I know I'm going to regret this.'

She moved over and cupped his chin with her hand. She slowly placed her lips to his and kissed him. Seto moved to deepen the kiss, by asking for permission to her mouth with his tongue. He had heard somewhere that when you kiss a person like this, they were supposed to have this magical taste to them, that was so indescribable, like sunshine. Seto tasted nothingness. In fact, what he tasted he didn't like.. he hated it. She was running her hands up and down his sides, tickling him, though he didn't laugh, not when kissing Hiromi disgusted him. She moaned and pressed her chest to him.

He broke the kiss for air and figured that Hiromi wanted him to touch her breasts. `Why would I want to touch those?' He thought before grabbing one and kneading it. She moaned again. `Gods is that noise annoying. If she doesn't shut up, I'll shove my fist in her mouth!' Then, it was back to the torturous kissing. She was becoming sloppier at it, probably becoming more aroused; he'll have to fake an arousal to get past this. He slowly pushed down the strap of her spaghetti strap tank top, soon followed by the other, as she slowly unbuttoned his dress shirt. Soon, the other strap to the tank top followed the first.

He bent his head and suckled her, she moan, loud and annoying. He did the same treatment to the other side, yet again, the loud and annoying moan. He really hoped she was faking it, because if she wasn't he'd never want to have sex with her again. He slowly unzipped her capris as she kicked off her high-heeled sandals. She unbuttoned his pants and he kicked off his shoes. He lifted his head from her chest and she in turn got on her knees and proceeded to give him the worst blowjob of his life. She must have eaten something cold, because it felt like his member was in a freezer.. not pleasurable. He thought of other things that would arouse him. That kid in his math class, he was attractive. He had jet black hair and scarily light hazel eyes. The black hair only brought out his eyes more, and vice versa. He was very quiet, but very kind and never hurt anyone's simple emotions. He was tall and muscular, most likely on the football or soccer team. But, unlike the usual stereotype, this boy was very smart. He could understand problems Seto understood. Of course it took him slightly longer to grasp, but not that much longer. Wait.. he was having sex, and judging a boy's intelligence at the same time. But he was very handsome. `He?! He?! What the fuck are you thinking Seto?!' He screamed at himself, but he didn't care any more. Boy or girl, it got his mind off this hell he had to deal with. He came, thinking of that one boy in math class. She laid him down and he took one of his fingers and pushed them inside her, she was hot, wet and disgusting. `Kid in Math class. It's him, not Hiromi. Him.' He removed his fingers. She positioned herself over him before he cleared his throat.

"The condoms." She huffed, but let him up. He reached into his pant pocket and took one out. He wrapped it around his member and walked back to her. `It's the kid in Math class. Hiromi is not here. The kid in Math class!!'

He entered her. She made a gurgled moan. `How disgusting.' Slowly, he reached the hilt, and it felt disgusting. There was too much moisture, way too much moisture. `The boy in Math class just got water spilled up there.' `That doesn't make any sense.' `It doesn't have to make sense!! It just distracts me from this hell!' He argued with himself as he started to move in and out of her. He saw the boy's eyes instead of Hiromi's empty blue eyes. The hazel eyes full of love and passion. The hazel eyes he wanted to be gazing into right now, the hazel eyes that reminded him of.. the mutt. He picked up his pace deep inside Hiromi, she was moaning insanely. If she didn't stop, he would grab a sock and shove it into her mouth.

She moaned.. very, very loud.. in his ear. `If I'm deaf in that ear, I'll punch her.' He had realized she'd come and thought of the hazel-eyed boy. Cheeks flushed and moaning softly and he whispered Seto's name over and over. Seto growled low in his throat and came. `I can't believe I just played out one of my sexual fantasies in my head while fucking this "angel".'

"That was so good, Seto. Gods, I didn't know fifteen year olds could be that skilled." Damn it. She spoke. Destroying his damn sexual fantasy of the boy.

"Yeah. I thought so too." `Bull shit.' He lied to her, but didn't care. He still couldn't believe he came over a boy.

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Oh, everything you are
Falls from the sky like a star
Everything you are
Whatever ever you are

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Seto and Chihuahua were sitting there talking. A civilized conversation! Who would have thought?!

"So, what's ya favorite color?" The mongrel asked him.

"Blue. It reminds me of the ocean, and I used to always want to go to the ocean as a child. Yours?"

"Gotta be green. It reminds me a' da' Earth. An' things growin' and becomin' more special and advanced dan ba'fore." `..Did Pup just say something intelligent?! ..Wow. That's a first for me.' Seto thought after the canine answered. But, Seto just nodded.

"So what's ya favorite seasin" Puppy asked. `Why's he asking all of these somewhat personal questions?'

"I guess it would have to be.." Seto thought for a moment. "Winter. Definitely winter. It has the exterior of icy-ness, but underneath it has spring on the way, where everything blooms and is alive. So, beneath that cold outside there's life and that life is so beautiful for everyone. But, people hate winter because it's too cold, why hate it, when it's a wonderful season. What about you?" Katsuya looked like he just got smacked. His jaw was almost to his knees, and if he wasn't cradling the baby, he would probably have his hands slumped to the floor.

"Um.. uh.. it's.. it's.. summer. Yeah, summer." The mutt shook his head slightly as if to clear his thoughts, but looked like a dog shaking off water from it's fur in the process. "Summer, because, it's really bright and cheerful, and even though it seems to not have a deep surface, under it is still all of the hardships winter faced and leading to all of the death autumn offers. So, it has scars, but people always seem to over look them." `Just like those bruises on his chest' Seto thought. `He's describing himself to summer, like I did to winter.'

"Yes, and winter and summer are exact opposites, but could never survive without the other, fighting it out with one another, and they seem really compatible. And you know what they say, about opposites attracting, funny how it's just like summer and winter." Seto added.

"Yeah. And the same goes wit' blue n' green." Puppy paused. "Like blue representin' da ocean, n' green, representing forests. They fight wit' eachotha' ova control o' da' Earth, but need eachotha' to coexist. As Yug' tells me." `Did he have to mention shrimpy?' Seto still hadn't gotten over his dislike for Yugi Mutou. It was hard to forgive after you were the supposed `best of the world', then some shrimp beats you.

"Yes, now, it's getting late. We'd better go to our rooms. We've got a busy day tomorrow." Seto stated icily, thinking about Yugi. He didn't notice the mutt cringe at his tone.

"Yeah.. um.. who's gonna take the baby?" Seto noticed the quick change of topic. `Did I say something wrong? ..Oh well, it's not like I care.'

"Well, I'm a very light sleeper, and if the rumors are true, that you sleep like a twenty-thousand pound rock, I guess it'll spend the night in my room." `If only someone else could too.. I did not think that.' Puppy laughed. He still looked beautiful when he laughed, his face was full of color and his eyes sparkled. `Stop thinking that! You idiot, he's straight and not your type.'

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Oh, everything you are
Falls from the sky like a star
Everything you are
Whatever ever you are

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Seto and Puppy continued to talk until they reached Jonouchi's room.

"So.. Kaiba.." Seto interrupted him.

"Call me Seto." `Since when have you let anyone call you your first name besides Mokuba?!'

"Ok.. Seto.. So.. We're friends right?" Seto thought about this for a moment, could he be friends with Puppy? Well, anything was possible these days.

"Friends?" Puppy questioned again.

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Everything you are
Whatever ever you are
Whatever ever you are
Whatever ever you are

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"Friends."

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Bleeding Ankh: WHOO HOO! Finally! Finished that one!! *dances* Ok, here's the new schedule. Updates are going to be on Wednesdays. Since, that's the day the prologue was posted, once a week every Wednesday. Every chapter is going to be a new day. So, about 30 chapters total, excluding the Prologue. Oh, you guys have choices in this little ficcie!

Should it be Jonouchi's POV next chapter, or remain Seto's? (For those of you who can't recognize this, it's been Seto's POV since the Prolouge, thus no one else's thoughts are in it.

Also, the song.. what should it be? Every week, I'll give you guys a choice of 3 songs. This week, it's

Alanis Morissette- Head Over Feet

Liz Phair- Why Can't I?

Baby Bash (Feat. Frankie J)- Suga Suga

There might be some editing to apply to the fic, but that's about it, don't forget to review! They power my brain!

Flames will be laughed at and fed to my obese cat.