| "2 Hearts One Loss" Reviews/Comments [ 27 ] |
| Pages (2): [ 1 2 › » ] |
Title: Huh just ok
Reviewed By: Alesia1318 [MediaMiner Member] On: November 11, 2017 09:58 PST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 3 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 1 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 5 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Comment/Review:
Your grammar and spelling are horrible. You really should go
through and edit it. You could have made each chapter twice as long
by just adding some embellishments. Your lemon sucked I am not sure
if it got accidently cut or what but yeah. I liked the idea the
execution needs alot of work.
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Reviewed By: nightshade41230 [MediaMiner Member] On: July 18, 2008 22:04 PDT
Comment/Review:
I think you should write a sequel,,I love this story.It was enjoyable.Funny and sad in some parts but thats how I am I cry at cartoons lol
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Reviewed By: firefly12121 [MediaMiner Member] On: September 25, 2007 19:11 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 4 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 6 of 10
Overall Rating: 5 of 10 Comment/Review:
This seemed to be rushed quite a bit with the plot. The scenes, story line, character biographies and attitudes, were all short-shipped. There were things, like the jewel being shattered, and where Sora came from that were not there or in the wrong place. There was a lack of co-ordination and organization of the material within the chapters. The chapters were really short, and often the chapters repeated parts of the story over again. There lacked a focus. How did Kagome know she was immortal? Her character was complicated but the discription of her was lacking in finesse. Kagome and Sessoumaru were a little OOC. Where did the name for her sword come from? It appeared all of the sudden during the fight when she had called it the sword of the moon before. You were blunt with a lot of the sentences. Sentences about mind reading just appeared out of nowhere. A piece of advice for next time: try to take you time, develop your plot, characters, and angst/drama. If you do this slowly, make your chapters a lot longer, and paint a picture with your words, draw in your audience (readers)then you could do a lot. You have a nack of creativity and imagination. Use it. Firefly12121
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Reviewed By: KilalaMoonRose [MediaMiner Member] On: August 05, 2007 17:15 PDT
Comment/Review:
Well, I like it, but your grammar leaves a lot to be desired. Your spelling and grammar errors makes it quite confusing at time. And your lemon wasn't even close to a lemon. It was cut off in the middle; it was more of a lime than anything else. Overall, I very much like the plot, but you need to ease up on the CAPS key a bit. If they're yelling, use italics instead. If you really need to emphasize, then only use all caps for one to three words. Don't get me wrong, I really liked it. It's just really confusing and bad grammar wise. Definitely work on that. That, and try using different paragraphs when other characters are speaking. That also adds to the confusion. Other than that, do your best!
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Title: UM
Reviewed By: JamminChick93613 [MediaMiner Member] On: December 06, 2006 18:42 PST
Comment/Review:
Well u can't even call that a lemon! But I loved it anyway!! I hope u write something to go with it. That would be awesome!! Well gots 2 go! BYE.
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Reviewed By: mysterious_demon [MediaMiner Member] On: May 17, 2006 17:48 PDT
Comment/Review:
this is so sweet but now jaken has more problems. 15 children. 15 !! that's a lot of children when you add sora, shippo, and rin that 15 kids.
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Reviewed By: Ms_Senstive [MediaMiner Member] On: April 08, 2006 21:03 PDT
Comment/Review:
First of all your lemon was so a lime, you cout it in the middle befor anything happend. a peace of advice for your next story i would make a new paragraph every time you have a diferen person talking.
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Title: 2 Hearts One Loss
Reviewed By: Megan Consoer [MediaMiner Member] On: January 27, 2006 00:21 PST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters? Or can you write a sequel to this story please?
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Reviewed By: Dragoncountess98 [MediaMiner Member] On: July 10, 2005 11:52 PDT
Comment/Review:
cute story, though at first i was afraid that it was incomplete since it is so short! i love s/k stories! hehe ny ways you going to write another story soon? lol maybe i should check that before i asked! so if not, keep writing! i know i wish i had the talent!
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Reviewed By: reke the flower On: June 25, 2005 05:34 PDT
Comment/Review:
please tell me that there is a after story that tells us every thing that happens after please!!!!
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Title: your fanfic 2 hearts 1 loss
Reviewed By: anime_fan141 [MediaMiner Member] On: March 31, 2005 22:17 PST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
oooooooo why did you end it . i wanted to read more waaaaaaaa:( lol wow 12 pups after a one round wow! though i would understand them being dog demons but hey its your story ,ana i love this story too lol, anyhow i wish you would add more to the story like kagome giving birth to her pups causei wanna see what she would name them and how her life is afterwards waaaaaaaa! please add more to it :( whimper lol
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Title: 2 Hearts One Loss
Reviewed By: Megan Consoer [MediaMiner Member] On: March 21, 2005 12:45 PST
Comment/Review:
I really like this story alot. Can you write some more chapters?
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Title: 2 Hearts One Loss
Reviewed By: Megan Consoer On: November 17, 2004 20:38 PST
Comment/Review:
I really like this story alot. Can you write some more chapters?
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Title: Hearts One Loss
Reviewed By: Megan Consoer On: November 15, 2004 21:18 PST
Comment/Review:
I really like this story alot. Can you write some more chapters?
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Reviewed By: Star keeper [MediaMiner Member] On: September 04, 2004 12:07 PDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
OH MY GOD *squeal* this is soooo awesome *sniffle* it's so happy... I love you!! you are a goddess!! A Kami!! I wish you would write a sequel... just to know how Kagome will live with twelve pups, oh, wait, fifteen. anyhoo!! please write a sequel!! puh-wease? *puppy dog face* I'll love you forever and a day!! ~~~Starlett~~~
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